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You know, college life.
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Let go and have fun.
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Jingle and ready to mingle.
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Yeah, baby!
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00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,190
Didn't I have them on my one -fuck -no
-questions -ask list?
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00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:12,350
Take me to bed right now.
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00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:14,230
I'm playing love and it'll burn you.
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Touch of the beat.
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Am I not enough for you?
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What are you watching? Anything juicy?
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You American, so uptight about sex.
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La la.
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I gotta switch majors.
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00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:42,760
So I'd probably start the lecture saying
something like, the mountain gorilla
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makes for life a rarity in the animal
kingdom.
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The rituals are complicated.
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The female making her prospective suitor
work for the privilege of her company.
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The male presents himself to his new
partner in a display of virility.
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If the female accepts consummation, the
relationship could last for hours.
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00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,600
Thank you. Thank you.
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Nothing with the video.
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What?
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Oh, no.
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Turn it off!
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00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,620
James, what are you doing?
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What I should have done a long time ago.
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That is not what it looked like. Correct
me.
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The bond between mountain gorillas is
sacred.
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Ophelia, I can explain.
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Infidelity is punishable by death.
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You little piece of fucking shit. What,
bitch? What now?
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I know.
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You blew up my car.
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Huh? Hello?
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Are you even listening to me?
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Yeah, I'm... I'm what?
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Unbelievable.
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Look, don't you dare fall asleep on me
again. No, never. Come on. You know, I
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00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:38,120
was just resting my eyes. Come on, you
know, reminiscing about the good times
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we've had.
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You know, we should get, like, matching
tattoos or something.
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Yeah, I'll put your face right here.
What do you think about that?
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Huh? Enough.
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00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,060
Look, I want some answers.
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Did you or did you not blow up my brand
new Lincoln Town car?
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You know, I'm insulted.
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What kind of a sick, twisted mind would
even think about doing something
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so heinous?
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If I find out you had anything to do
with it. I understand.
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You'll regret the tattoos. You want to
hold off?
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Fine.
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Get out.
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Get out.
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Hey, easy tiger.
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What do they say at Playgirl if I show
up all black and blue with a tattoo of
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your face on my ass cheek?
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00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,360
Royce, give me one moment, please. No
problem, Dean Lauer. You take as long as
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you need. I'm sure it'll take the wisdom
of Solomon to deal with this waste of
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space.
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00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:43,140
I've been thinking, once you're re
-elected student body president, I want
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to convene a fact -finding commission.
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You find me something, anything I can
use to get this, how do you say it,
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00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,540
of space out of this college, out of
this state.
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Out of our lives, my pleasure.
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00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,280
Bring it on.
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00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,460
I'm so glad to finally get to use the
pool.
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I can't wait to finally use the
bathroom.
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00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:16,400
Ew, where have you been going?
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00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,880
Second thought, I don't even want to
know. Don't tell me.
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00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,960
All I'm saying is you might want to hold
off on that swim.
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Ew.
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I'm yanking your chain. I was using the
bathroom, like, the whole time.
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I was using the pool the whole time,
too.
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00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,760
Enjoy it while it lasts.
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As soon as the parental units get that
divorce, we might have to actually, you
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know, like, get jobs.
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Did you say job?
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Take it back, Larry.
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Take it back!
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Take it back!
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00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,200
Stop that, okay? I'll stop if you get me
a beer.
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00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:53,920
Done and done.
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I want this moment to last forever.
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00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,620
I didn't know you were. Oops.
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00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:23,920
My bad.
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00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,120
Thought someone was making a snuff film.
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As you were.
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Keep screaming.
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Larry, wait up.
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I'll be right back.
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00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,340
Keep screaming.
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00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,460
I'm sorry, man. It was just a little
loud. You know, we could hear you all
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00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:40,460
way downstairs.
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00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,720
That was the plan.
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00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:42,740
The plan?
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00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,340
It's kind of hoping Karen would hear.
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Oh, I get it. Make her jealous.
98
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,320
Gotta try something.
99
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,490
It's been clamped between those fog legs
for weeks.
100
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,830
Yeah. Is the scream queen part of your
plan?
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Hell yeah.
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00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,070
What's your idea?
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Okay, I got your back then.
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I'll get Karen up here. You do the rest.
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00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,430
Ow!
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00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:08,630
Dude,
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where have you been? We were about to
call campus security.
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00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:16,870
Me and Dean Blowhard were doing brunch.
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00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:20,890
What are you watching? Anything juicy?
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00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,430
No, nothing good.
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00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:24,530
Oh, God, Royce, don't stop.
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Oh, don't stop.
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Hey,
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you got anything to drink in there?
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Some beer?
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Tequila? Some fucking rubbing alcohol
right now? Shit.
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Larry just went to go get some... Cis!
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Ew.
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Sepsis. Don't push it.
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00:10:43,170 --> 00:10:44,310
You gotta come with me.
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Why? Come on!
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Come on, James.
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Deafen me.
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You better be good.
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I'm pleasing.
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Like that.
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00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:12,780
For what?
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Come on, clean.
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00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,310
Dude, if there's a dead hooker in there,
I had nothing to do with it. No, no,
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no, just, just, just listen.
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Oh, come on.
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You'd be loud for me.
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Come on.
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00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:52,590
Come on, deafen me.
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00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:56,870
Come on, breathe.
136
00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:03,560
Have you been huffing cleaning solvents
again?
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00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:09,400
No. There were... I mean, there were...
Hey, guys.
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00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,680
What are you doing?
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00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,600
I have no idea. My stepbrother here is
having a brain fart.
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00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:16,960
You're busy. I'll come back.
141
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:18,260
No, it's cool. What's up?
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00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:22,860
Royce is announcing his candidacy for re
-election to the school council. I was
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just wondering if you want to come with
me.
144
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,100
Isn't it like a foregone conclusion?
145
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,160
No one ever runs against him, right?
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00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,680
Sure, but I want to show my support, you
know? He does so much for me.
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00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:35,820
Who's that?
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00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:40,360
You can sneer, but at least he's doing
something that touches other people's
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00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,080
lives. Oh, he's touching people, all
right.
150
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,720
You're just jealous. He does more than
you'll ever know. He does more than
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00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:47,720
you'll ever know.
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00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,100
So, uh, what'd you say? You want to come
with me?
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00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,200
Yeah.
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00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,420
Wait, wait, wait! You gotta see this!
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Karen, I didn't know you...
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00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:11,250
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, my
esteemed colleagues, and students of
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00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:15,170
prestigious college, it's a privilege
for me to announce Mr. Royce
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00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:19,810
candidacy for re -election to the post
of student body president.
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00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:31,250
Well, I'm happy to say after an
exceptional year here by Royce, he's
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00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:32,870
running unopposed.
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00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:43,030
Any further ado, it's both an honor and
a pleasure for me to declare Roy... Hold
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00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,030
up!
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00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,410
Tyler, this is a conversation for
adults.
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Please run along, why don't you?
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I have a candidacy to announce.
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Oh, really?
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Me too.
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00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,350
James, what are you doing?
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I've been touching myself.
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For years.
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It's time to take your advice.
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00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,170
Move on.
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Start touching other people.
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00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:22,910
Mr. Tyler, is this another one of your
sick and pathetic jokes? This is no
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00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:28,570
I'm going to expose this ass puppet for
who he really is.
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00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:31,950
Bring it on.
177
00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:34,050
Well,
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00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:41,080
then. It's my horrific task to announce
we have another candidate in this year's
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00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,080
election.
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00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,820
Mr. James Tyler.
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00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:55,240
Let the campaigns begin.
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00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,560
God help us all.
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00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:15,810
People ask not what your college can do
for you.
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00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,510
All right, look, where the hell is
everybody?
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00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:34,970
Ask not what two girls can do for you,
or you, or you.
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00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:39,810
Ask yourselves, what can two girls do
for each other?
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00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,950
Oh, yeah, check it out.
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00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:48,760
Vote for James.
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00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,360
If you like this, vote for James. And I
know you do.
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00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:59,980
Vote for James! Vote for James! Vote for
James! Vote for James! Vote for James!
191
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:01,920
Vote for James!
192
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:04,460
Vote for James!
193
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:13,040
Oh, hello there.
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00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,900
I'm Royce Boddington.
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00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:19,820
You know, I've been your class president
for the past three years, and you just
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00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,440
don't change horses in midstream.
197
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:27,240
My administration has taken great
strides, widening parking spaces for
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00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:29,500
and even building a statue of our
beloved dean.
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00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:36,940
That's why this Friday, I'm calling on
you to vote with your heart, with your
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00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,760
brain, and with your gut.
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00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,220
This costs money, yes?
202
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,710
That guy's got no chance.
203
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,410
So, this is how elections are won?
204
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:55,670
Maybe I should educate you on the
election process.
205
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:59,810
It's all about giving people what they
want.
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00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:01,670
What do you want?
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00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:08,369
Well... A good
208
00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:11,069
economy?
209
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:17,940
Well, please.
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00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,700
And an earth -shattering orgasm.
211
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,440
You've got my vote.
212
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,670
To put up a pony. Where?
213
00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:33,030
Don't fly.
214
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:34,490
On your beach and.
215
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:29,810
to put up a phone
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00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,440
even really want to be.
217
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,440
But it's not just time to change horses.
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00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,500
It's time to go to the glue factory.
219
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:10,900
I'm not going to make great strides in
anything, ever.
220
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:14,120
But I'm asking you to not use your
heart.
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00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,200
Ignore your brain.
222
00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:19,040
Disregard anything your gut's telling
you.
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00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:25,160
I'm asking you to vote with your crotch.
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00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:29,700
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. You
see, The heart may get confused.
225
00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,580
But your little sexy bits always know
what they want.
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00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,420
Vote for James.
227
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:37,960
Vote for James.
228
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:39,020
Hey.
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00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,320
It's time to whip out the dangling chat.
230
00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:49,200
Hey. You get me, I get you. I think I'm
starting to like politics.
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00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,620
Do you know how much this campaign has
cost me already?
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00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:56,100
If nobody shows to this fundraiser...
They'll be here.
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00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,440
I'm sure they just...
234
00:21:58,090 --> 00:21:59,049
Fashionably late.
235
00:21:59,050 --> 00:22:00,050
Three hours late.
236
00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:03,190
Your supporters will turn up when it
counts at the poll tomorrow.
237
00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:04,469
To hell with that.
238
00:22:04,470 --> 00:22:07,170
If I don't get some serious coin in here
soon, I'm going to be broke.
239
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,270
How much did you spend, exactly?
240
00:22:15,390 --> 00:22:16,390
My trust fund.
241
00:22:17,230 --> 00:22:18,230
What?
242
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:21,250
What did you say? I said my trust fund.
243
00:22:22,330 --> 00:22:23,330
Spent all of it.
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00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:26,370
I wasn't going to lose to that waste of
space, right?
245
00:22:27,690 --> 00:22:29,430
You hate him that much?
246
00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:30,970
Don't you?
247
00:22:32,030 --> 00:22:33,610
No, I don't.
248
00:22:33,970 --> 00:22:35,170
I really don't.
249
00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:36,910
But he cheated on you.
250
00:22:37,150 --> 00:22:41,050
Yes, I'm aware of that, but he never
lied about it. Not once.
251
00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:48,050
Look, maybe we should... We could go to
the house, see if we can drum up some
252
00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:51,870
support. Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.
I'm going to show up at my opponent's
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00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,470
fundraiser, looking for people to bail
me out of my campaign.
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00:22:54,670 --> 00:22:55,670
Very nice.
255
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,420
Roy, am I too late?
256
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:02,780
Who is that girl?
257
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,200
I haven't the foggiest idea.
258
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,020
Hey, let's go to James' place.
259
00:23:38,110 --> 00:23:41,230
My darling, beautiful, naked, lovely
cheerleaders.
260
00:23:42,230 --> 00:23:49,170
See what happens when I run for
president? Kids get naked and paint on
261
00:23:49,170 --> 00:23:53,090
themselves. Can you imagine what's going
to happen when I win the presidency?
262
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:55,970
Come on, you've got to vote for James,
everyone. Vote for James!
263
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,760
One last time.
264
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000
Give it all you got.
265
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:43,500
You're gonna die, friend.
266
00:24:44,180 --> 00:24:47,440
Oh, God. I can't feel it. I'm gonna have
to...
267
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,380
Karen,
268
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,760
I didn't know you were... You kidding
me?
269
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:10,520
Go get Karen.
270
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,100
Karen, you got a safe?
271
00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:23,680
No, I don't.
272
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,980
That's not for the next five hours.
273
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:27,920
You've got to see something.
274
00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:30,140
I'm going to see everything.
275
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,820
We thought we'd stop by, see what our
opponents are up to.
276
00:25:50,740 --> 00:25:52,960
This is Watergate, no?
277
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,180
Well, not quite. I kind of live here,
too.
278
00:25:57,740 --> 00:26:00,880
Hey, saw your ads on TV. They look
pretty pricey.
279
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,460
You have no idea.
280
00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:09,820
Yeah, this is the one.
281
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,480
He's kind of stressed out right now.
282
00:26:16,060 --> 00:26:17,060
Excuse me.
283
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:18,950
Have you guys seen Royce?
284
00:26:19,770 --> 00:26:24,530
Um, well, he was here, but, um... You
know what?
285
00:26:24,790 --> 00:26:26,250
You sound a lot like his sister.
286
00:26:27,510 --> 00:26:28,690
Royce doesn't have a sister.
287
00:26:30,430 --> 00:26:31,430
Oh.
288
00:26:31,870 --> 00:26:34,030
Of course he doesn't. Should have known.
289
00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:43,390
All right, look, I know I'm a little
behind on the payment.
290
00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:47,710
All right, I'm a lot behind on the
payments, but I will make good.
291
00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:52,990
Just give me a little time, just give me
a little time, and you will get your
292
00:26:52,990 --> 00:26:53,990
money.
293
00:26:57,810 --> 00:26:58,810
When?
294
00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:01,630
Well, when is a very good question.
295
00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:11,630
I'll tell you what, how does tomorrow
morning sound?
296
00:27:13,930 --> 00:27:14,909
Okay, great.
297
00:27:14,910 --> 00:27:15,910
I'll be there.
298
00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:17,950
Money troubles?
299
00:27:22,270 --> 00:27:26,610
There's a, um... Well, there's a
perfectly reasonable explanation for
300
00:27:27,050 --> 00:27:28,610
Oh. Do tell.
301
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:33,770
All right, there's no reasonable
explanation. I fucked up.
302
00:27:34,130 --> 00:27:36,490
I used some very bad people, some very
big money.
303
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:41,790
So, uh, you thought you would just pawn
the engagement ring I gave to Ophelia?
304
00:27:42,590 --> 00:27:43,590
Well, she doesn't need it.
305
00:27:43,990 --> 00:27:44,990
Not from you.
306
00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:46,430
Really?
307
00:27:47,350 --> 00:27:48,830
You want to see what she thinks about
that?
308
00:27:49,270 --> 00:27:50,270
All right.
309
00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:51,770
What do you want?
310
00:27:52,210 --> 00:27:54,690
You want me to drop out of the election?
I'll drop out. Why the hell would I
311
00:27:54,690 --> 00:27:55,549
want that?
312
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:57,290
Last thing I want is to win this stupid
election.
313
00:27:58,670 --> 00:27:59,670
You want Ophelia.
314
00:28:04,010 --> 00:28:05,009
All right.
315
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:06,010
She's yours. I'll walk away.
316
00:28:07,210 --> 00:28:08,210
Wow.
317
00:28:08,790 --> 00:28:10,070
She means that much to you, huh?
318
00:28:10,570 --> 00:28:11,570
So what do you say?
319
00:28:12,780 --> 00:28:13,780
Do we have a deal?
320
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,700
It better not be one of James' dirty
tricks. If he's done anything to rig
321
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,220
election so he can win, I swear.
322
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,920
I don't think anyone's going to win. But
what James did could be considered a
323
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:30,719
dirty trick.
324
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,220
Dirty being the opposite of worse.
325
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:33,480
What are you saying?
326
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,440
Remember James' campaign slogan, vote
with your crotch?
327
00:28:42,710 --> 00:28:48,310
Well, thanks to Mr. Tyler's rather
unorthodox campaign, there has been
328
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:54,910
2 ,763 soiled votes that won't be
counted.
329
00:28:56,730 --> 00:28:59,090
Or even touched, for that matter.
330
00:29:00,550 --> 00:29:02,430
So it's down to one and only vote.
331
00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:06,030
Your vote, right? It has to be. Who'd
you vote for?
332
00:29:07,510 --> 00:29:08,870
The winner is...
333
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,600
James Carter.
334
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:36,120
Who gave you 500 bucks?
335
00:29:36,340 --> 00:29:37,520
I mean, that cost me over two grand.
336
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,500
And now it's worth 500 bucks. Take it or
leave it.
337
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:43,880
Hey, please, man.
338
00:29:44,860 --> 00:29:46,880
You take it, and you leave.
339
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,840
Look, you won't see me again ever, I
promise.
340
00:29:51,980 --> 00:29:52,980
Yeah.
341
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,940
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I
didn't do it for you.
342
00:30:01,620 --> 00:30:03,960
Look, you give me some type of receipt
or something. I'm coming to buy that
343
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,520
back. Sure, $1 ,500.
344
00:30:05,820 --> 00:30:07,300
You just said it was worth $500.
345
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,660
Now it's worth $1 ,500. Do you want it
or not?
346
00:30:11,350 --> 00:30:13,770
Whatever. I'll bring you the money. Just
give me the receipt.
347
00:30:21,350 --> 00:30:22,350
Yeah, thanks.
348
00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:24,190
I'll see you.
349
00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:36,370
All right. The guy I'm talking about is
this one of Satan.
350
00:30:36,570 --> 00:30:37,570
He's talking about Jane.
351
00:30:37,750 --> 00:30:39,110
I can't break the code.
352
00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:40,039
Let go.
353
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,480
Who wants to do a sci -fi film?
354
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:46,180
Oh, I love sci -fi. There seems to be a
lot of magic. Sex on the moon.
355
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:47,480
Do I get Todd Billy?
356
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,000
That's her wardrobe?
357
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:49,959
Of course not.
358
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:50,960
You think this is a porno?
359
00:30:54,740 --> 00:30:58,540
She's never ever, never ever better than
me.
360
00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:03,900
She's never ever, never ever better than
me.
361
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,600
She's never ever, ever better than me.
24899
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