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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,444 --> 00:00:04,027 Ugh, this line is taking so long. 2 00:00:04,127 --> 00:00:05,668 People should know what they want before they order. 3 00:00:05,768 --> 00:00:06,869 Woman: Next. 4 00:00:06,969 --> 00:00:11,274 Oh...what do I want? What do I want? 5 00:00:11,374 --> 00:00:14,437 Ugh. What is "co-ffee"? 6 00:00:14,537 --> 00:00:16,119 Ugh, this place is so bougie. 7 00:00:16,219 --> 00:00:19,862 Lavender-infused maggots? Like, really? 8 00:00:20,463 --> 00:00:22,965 [ Gasps ] Damn. 9 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,407 Okay, that's really good. 10 00:00:24,507 --> 00:00:27,370 [ Trombone plays ] 11 00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:32,255 Fellow Boomtownians, not only am I a successful businessman, 12 00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:34,497 I am also a patron of the arts. 13 00:00:34,597 --> 00:00:37,220 Which is why every summer I direct a production 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,582 from the Great Bard himself. 15 00:00:39,682 --> 00:00:43,106 I speak of none other than Jim Carrey. 16 00:00:43,206 --> 00:00:44,107 Jim! 17 00:00:44,207 --> 00:00:47,750 Mm, wow. Interesting. 18 00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:50,513 As you all know, last year we had a runaway success 19 00:00:50,613 --> 00:00:52,755 with our production of "The Green One." 20 00:00:52,855 --> 00:00:55,438 "How the Grinch Stole Christmas?" 21 00:00:55,538 --> 00:00:56,879 No. Was it "Batman Forever," 22 00:00:56,979 --> 00:00:58,401 the one where he played the Riddler? 23 00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,443 No. "The Mask." 24 00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:04,087 Huh, guess I didn't realise how many movies he was green in. 25 00:01:04,187 --> 00:01:06,089 It's kind of crazy when you think about it. 26 00:01:06,189 --> 00:01:08,691 Anyway, this year, I have selected 27 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:10,893 Mr. Carrey's magnum opus -- 28 00:01:10,993 --> 00:01:15,578 "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective: Part Un." 29 00:01:15,678 --> 00:01:17,780 Auditions will start tomorrow, 30 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,504 and yes, there will be full-frontal nudity. 31 00:01:21,604 --> 00:01:23,706 Mom, did you hear that? What? 32 00:01:23,806 --> 00:01:26,028 Oh, my God, someone ate all of the samples. 33 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,351 Who did that? I'm sorry, ma'am. 34 00:01:28,451 --> 00:01:29,712 Whoever did that is rude. 35 00:01:29,812 --> 00:01:31,354 We should go. Go, go, go. 36 00:01:31,454 --> 00:01:36,479 ♪♪ 37 00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:41,644 ♪♪ 38 00:01:41,744 --> 00:01:43,526 So excited for friends weekend. 39 00:01:43,626 --> 00:01:45,968 We haven't had quality hang time in forever. 40 00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:49,492 I know. I found the cutest fallout shelter. 41 00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,414 They still have the original scratch marks 42 00:01:51,514 --> 00:01:52,855 from when the inhabitants 43 00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:54,817 were escaping a radiation leak. 44 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,179 Oh, my God, cu-u-u-u-te. 45 00:01:56,279 --> 00:01:57,980 Okay, ready. 46 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,343 I didn't know what to pack, so I just brought everything I own. 47 00:02:00,443 --> 00:02:02,345 Oh, I didn't realise Sid was coming. 48 00:02:02,445 --> 00:02:04,187 If this is supposed to be just a friends thing, 49 00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:05,908 I'm totally happy to sit out. 50 00:02:06,008 --> 00:02:08,070 I mean, if that's what you want, 51 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,513 then I am totally fine with that. 52 00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:11,954 You guys are ridiculous! 53 00:02:12,054 --> 00:02:13,956 You're my two favourite people in the world. 54 00:02:14,056 --> 00:02:16,199 We're gonna have a blast together! 55 00:02:16,299 --> 00:02:17,640 Ugh, great. Great. 56 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:19,682 Let's go. Scraps: Mommy, you can't leave! 57 00:02:19,782 --> 00:02:21,644 Remember, you told me you'd take me to the audition. 58 00:02:21,744 --> 00:02:25,688 I'll be going out for the role of Ace. 59 00:02:25,788 --> 00:02:27,810 Oh, shoot, I forgot about that. 60 00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,051 Sorry, but we're leaving right now. 61 00:02:29,151 --> 00:02:30,453 No, no, no, no, no. 62 00:02:30,553 --> 00:02:31,894 No, no, no. 63 00:02:31,994 --> 00:02:33,576 [ Grunts ] 64 00:02:33,676 --> 00:02:36,058 Ple-e-e-e-e-ase! 65 00:02:36,158 --> 00:02:37,660 I promise I'll never ask you 66 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,942 for anything ever again in my entire life. Please. 67 00:02:40,042 --> 00:02:42,064 [ Sighs ] Fine. 68 00:02:42,164 --> 00:02:43,826 [ Giggling ] 69 00:02:43,926 --> 00:02:47,109 So what, I'm just driving alone with Sid? 70 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,912 Awesome start to friends weekend. 71 00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,594 Hmm? 72 00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:53,636 Are you sure that I should go? 73 00:02:53,736 --> 00:02:56,879 I really get the impression Tai does not like me. 74 00:02:56,979 --> 00:02:58,321 Are you kidding? Tai loves you! 75 00:02:58,421 --> 00:03:01,604 He just has a super sarcastic sense of humour, 76 00:03:01,704 --> 00:03:02,725 but you'll get used to it. 77 00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:04,247 Come on, you fugly-ass bitch. 78 00:03:04,347 --> 00:03:05,968 [ Laughs ] You are too much. 79 00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,690 Ah, you got me. 80 00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:10,693 Fugly as charged. 81 00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:13,436 Alrighty then. 82 00:03:16,519 --> 00:03:18,821 That was great. We'll let you know. 83 00:03:18,921 --> 00:03:20,022 Hard pass. 84 00:03:20,122 --> 00:03:22,665 Hello. Hey, there. How you doing? 85 00:03:22,765 --> 00:03:25,428 You doing good? I am doing great. 86 00:03:25,528 --> 00:03:27,350 Um, I won't be needing this. 87 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:29,952 You ready to make some magic? 88 00:03:30,052 --> 00:03:31,354 Whenever you're ready. 89 00:03:31,454 --> 00:03:33,456 Bla-bla-bla. Okay. [ Clears throat ] 90 00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:39,422 [ Imitates dog whining ] 91 00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:42,765 What are you doing? Oh, uh, sorry. 92 00:03:42,865 --> 00:03:45,728 I'm auditioning for the pet detective. 93 00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:48,291 This is a show about a-a dog who -- who solves crimes, right? 94 00:03:48,391 --> 00:03:52,174 No, it's about a human who finds missing pets. 95 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,297 No. Uh, okay. 96 00:03:54,397 --> 00:03:56,939 Not what I rehearsed, but -- [ Clears throat ] 97 00:03:57,039 --> 00:04:00,303 Hey, I can be a human man. 98 00:04:00,403 --> 00:04:02,405 [ Clears throat ] 99 00:04:04,767 --> 00:04:06,148 Woof! No. 100 00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:08,431 Uh, human man, human man, human man, human man. 101 00:04:08,531 --> 00:04:09,912 [ Clears throat ] 102 00:04:10,012 --> 00:04:11,914 [ Mumbles in high-pitched voice ] 103 00:04:12,014 --> 00:04:13,236 [ Normal voice ] Sorry, one second. 104 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,197 One second, one second, one second. 105 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,321 Hey! What the hell are you doing on my car?! 106 00:04:18,421 --> 00:04:20,723 Sorry, there wasn't anywhere else to sit. 107 00:04:20,823 --> 00:04:21,804 I'll just be a minute. 108 00:04:21,904 --> 00:04:24,387 Move it, lady! Now! 109 00:04:26,188 --> 00:04:30,132 I said... "I'll just be a minute." 110 00:04:30,232 --> 00:04:32,375 Now, are you gonna be nice? 111 00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:34,016 Or are you gonna make me smack around 112 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,258 those big old titties 113 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,019 and call you my sweet Georgia peach? 114 00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:39,221 What the hell... 115 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,984 I'm a man. I'm a man. 116 00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:43,426 This is a disaster. 117 00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:46,389 No one we've seen has what it takes to play Ace. 118 00:04:46,489 --> 00:04:48,351 We need someone with that raw passion, you know, 119 00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:49,872 and the fire inside of them. 120 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:53,396 I will dropkick your soul straight to Hell! 121 00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:56,879 Fee-fi-fo-fum! 122 00:04:56,979 --> 00:04:59,842 You're crazy, lady! 123 00:04:59,942 --> 00:05:01,804 Good luck cleaning my barf off your windshield 124 00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:04,166 without wipers, asshole! 125 00:05:04,266 --> 00:05:05,368 [ Laughing maniacally ] 126 00:05:05,468 --> 00:05:06,929 What is wrong with you?! 127 00:05:07,029 --> 00:05:09,051 [ Retching ] 128 00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:11,013 It's coming up! 129 00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:13,656 Who is she? She's demented, 130 00:05:13,756 --> 00:05:15,658 she's absolutely out of control, she's -- 131 00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:17,219 Perfect. 132 00:05:17,319 --> 00:05:18,461 Man: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 133 00:05:18,561 --> 00:05:21,504 I think we've found our Ace. 134 00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,466 Plan "B," berry boy. 135 00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:26,349 You're gonna wish I puked! 136 00:05:26,449 --> 00:05:28,110 Don't you do it! Whoo! 137 00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:29,712 Sid: Well, here it is. 138 00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:31,033 Isn't it adorable? 139 00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:32,154 I'm gonna go say hi to everyone. 140 00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:33,716 You'll get the bags? I mean, I -- 141 00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:37,640 I can, but don't you have, like, super-human... 142 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:40,863 strength? 143 00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:45,408 Okay, Sid. You can do this. 144 00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:48,250 Just do your best until Freya gets here. 145 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:51,494 Maybe Tai's friends will be nice. 146 00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:54,737 Hey, everyone. I'm Sid. Nice to meet you... 147 00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:56,579 all. 148 00:05:56,679 --> 00:05:58,981 All: Oh, hey. 149 00:05:59,081 --> 00:06:03,426 Ah, it's five identical Tais. 150 00:06:03,526 --> 00:06:05,528 Perfect. 151 00:06:06,609 --> 00:06:07,870 Okay, people, settle down! 152 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,672 This is "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. 153 00:06:09,772 --> 00:06:12,795 Show some respect for the old masters. 154 00:06:12,895 --> 00:06:14,597 Alright, let's take it from Ace's entrance. 155 00:06:14,697 --> 00:06:16,318 And action. 156 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,000 Oh, Tom? 157 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,102 I'm sure he's fine. 158 00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,529 Do not go in there. 159 00:06:26,629 --> 00:06:28,611 Whoo. 160 00:06:28,711 --> 00:06:32,174 Eh...that's a good start. 161 00:06:32,274 --> 00:06:34,216 Maybe a smidge stiff. 162 00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:35,818 This play doesn't even make any sense. 163 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:36,939 If he's supposed to be undercover, 164 00:06:37,039 --> 00:06:38,581 then why is he busting in, 165 00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:40,903 telling everyone about his big poop? 166 00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:42,144 You're looking at it all wrong. 167 00:06:42,244 --> 00:06:44,146 Ace Ventura is a dark tragedy 168 00:06:44,246 --> 00:06:46,829 about a deeply disturbed individual. 169 00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:50,072 It's a meditation on man's animalistic nature, 170 00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:53,155 the Jungian concept of shadow self, 171 00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:55,998 not to mention a scathing indictment of brain injuries 172 00:06:56,098 --> 00:06:58,601 in professional football. 173 00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:01,564 Huh, that's actually kind of deep. 174 00:07:01,664 --> 00:07:03,045 Just give it one more try. 175 00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:04,206 Shall we? 176 00:07:04,306 --> 00:07:06,308 Whenever you're ready. 177 00:07:09,111 --> 00:07:10,052 Oh, Tom? 178 00:07:10,152 --> 00:07:13,616 I'm sure he's fine. 179 00:07:13,716 --> 00:07:15,858 Do not go in there! 180 00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:17,540 Whooo! 181 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,942 [ Laughter and applause ] 182 00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:22,505 That's my Ace. 183 00:07:22,605 --> 00:07:29,071 ♪♪ 184 00:07:29,171 --> 00:07:32,475 Ooh, getting a nice head high from this one. 185 00:07:32,575 --> 00:07:33,956 [ Magnet warbling ] 186 00:07:34,056 --> 00:07:35,918 I heard TI-120 187 00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:39,522 slid into TI-2000's DMs during CyberFest. 188 00:07:39,622 --> 00:07:42,445 Wait, I thought TI-120 was with TI-167. 189 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,326 Oh, he is. 190 00:07:44,426 --> 00:07:47,490 -Oooooh! -What a ho! 191 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:49,171 Morning, gents! Um, so, I've been doing 192 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,333 some research on activities in the area and turns out 193 00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:52,975 there is an old, unexploded atom bomb 194 00:07:53,075 --> 00:07:55,017 not far from here called "The Dud." 195 00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:58,440 Uh, does anyone feel up for a sort of medium-difficulty hike? 196 00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:02,745 [ Laughter ] 197 00:08:02,845 --> 00:08:05,748 Is that a fanny pack? 198 00:08:05,848 --> 00:08:07,710 What a dipshit. 199 00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:10,713 Stop! This is fun. 200 00:08:10,813 --> 00:08:14,456 Getting hard-core roasted by five identical Tais. 201 00:08:15,818 --> 00:08:18,841 Sorry, guys, uh, Freya made me bring him. 202 00:08:18,941 --> 00:08:21,303 Speaking of which, she should be here by now. 203 00:08:24,346 --> 00:08:25,768 Freya: Hey! Hey, bitch! 204 00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:27,770 You close? Oh, my God, Tai. 205 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:29,932 So I took Scraps to that audition, and guess what? 206 00:08:30,032 --> 00:08:32,254 I got the lead! [ Squeals ] 207 00:08:32,354 --> 00:08:33,496 That is great. 208 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,658 We'll celebrate when you get here. 209 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,580 Yeah, about that. 210 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,422 We open tonight, and I still have to practice my big 211 00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:42,865 Act Three talking-out-of-my-butt soliloquy. 212 00:08:42,965 --> 00:08:46,388 So is it cool if I maybe skip friends weekend? 213 00:08:46,488 --> 00:08:50,753 Oh, so, um, you're not coming at all? 214 00:08:50,853 --> 00:08:52,034 [ Metal creaks, pops, hisses ] 215 00:08:52,134 --> 00:08:54,997 Yeah, no, that's cool. Really? 216 00:08:55,097 --> 00:08:56,038 You promise you're not mad at me? 217 00:08:56,138 --> 00:08:57,800 No, no. 218 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,202 You do you, girl. I'm good. 219 00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:02,124 Oh, thanks, Tai. You're the best. 220 00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:03,846 I hope you guys are having a blast. 221 00:09:03,946 --> 00:09:06,929 Bye-e-e-e-e. Bye-e-e-e. 222 00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,210 Hey, man, are you okay? 223 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,491 Do you wanna -- Do you wanna talk? 224 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,173 What's there to talk about? 225 00:09:11,273 --> 00:09:12,615 I don't care if Freya comes or not. 226 00:09:12,715 --> 00:09:15,137 I came here to party. Pass me the magnet. 227 00:09:15,237 --> 00:09:17,820 [ Magnet warbling ] 228 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,862 Oh, take it easy. 229 00:09:19,962 --> 00:09:22,424 [ Warbling continues ] 230 00:09:22,524 --> 00:09:23,465 [ Plunk! ] 231 00:09:23,565 --> 00:09:27,109 [ Static ] 232 00:09:27,209 --> 00:09:30,032 I'm pinwheeling, baby! 233 00:09:30,132 --> 00:09:32,134 Whoo! Yeah, America! 234 00:09:34,937 --> 00:09:36,759 Maybe I'll give you a call sometime, lieutenant. 235 00:09:36,859 --> 00:09:38,520 Your number still 911? 236 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,963 Alrighty then. 237 00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:43,726 How was that? Yeah, it was good. 238 00:09:43,826 --> 00:09:45,968 Just like the last 25 times. 239 00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:48,811 Good's not enough, it needs to be perfect. 240 00:09:48,911 --> 00:09:51,453 Alrighty then. Alrighty then. 241 00:09:51,553 --> 00:09:52,695 Alrighty then! 242 00:09:52,795 --> 00:09:54,777 Gah! Why can't I get this?! 243 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:56,538 Oh, hey, look, maybe we should just take a break, alright? 244 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,020 You've been going non-stop. 245 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,301 I mean, you haven't eaten, you haven't slept. 246 00:09:59,401 --> 00:10:01,223 I'm really starting to worry about you. 247 00:10:01,323 --> 00:10:03,025 [ Exhales sharply ] 248 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,587 I see what you're doing. 249 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,069 You're trying to sabotage me. What? 250 00:10:07,169 --> 00:10:09,992 You're jealous that I got the role and you didn't. 251 00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:13,475 I'm the big star, and it's killing you inside. 252 00:10:13,575 --> 00:10:14,917 Whoa, okay, look, maybe I was a little bummed at first, 253 00:10:15,017 --> 00:10:17,159 but I'm genuinely trying to help you. 254 00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:18,560 Well, don't! You don't understand us! 255 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,104 Nobody understands us! Ugh! 256 00:10:24,386 --> 00:10:26,388 Us? 257 00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:31,393 Hey, guys. Have you seen Tai? 258 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,676 I mean TI-90? 259 00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:38,160 Never mind, I'll find him myself. 260 00:10:39,521 --> 00:10:41,463 Sid: Tai? Tai? 261 00:10:41,563 --> 00:10:42,985 Wha-- What are you doing? 262 00:10:43,085 --> 00:10:44,707 I'm landlining. 263 00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:46,809 I'm about to put a billion gigs straight to my dome. 264 00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,033 [ Groans ] Oh, shit, oh, shit. 265 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,755 Oh, shit. 266 00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:55,638 [ Fax machine noises ] 267 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,760 Oh, no, no, no. I do not like those noises. 268 00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,481 Okay, I think you've had enough. 269 00:10:59,581 --> 00:11:01,583 Back off! 270 00:11:04,186 --> 00:11:05,728 What is your problem? 271 00:11:05,828 --> 00:11:08,090 Why are you always such a dick to me? 272 00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:09,451 I'll tell you why. 273 00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:11,493 Because you sabotaged my friendship with Freya 274 00:11:11,593 --> 00:11:14,056 and stole her for yourself! 275 00:11:14,156 --> 00:11:16,739 Everything was better before you came along. 276 00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:20,322 I should have done this a long time ago. 277 00:11:23,445 --> 00:11:27,509 Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Aah! 278 00:11:27,609 --> 00:11:28,871 [ Electricity crackling ] 279 00:11:28,971 --> 00:11:31,533 Tai! 280 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,437 [ Static ] 281 00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:38,440 Goodbye. 282 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,803 TI-95: Oh, God. 283 00:11:40,903 --> 00:11:42,084 He's dead. 284 00:11:42,184 --> 00:11:44,727 He's [bleep] dead! 285 00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:48,750 All: Aaah! 286 00:11:51,874 --> 00:11:53,776 That's not how Dan Marino holds a football! 287 00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:55,177 He holds it like this! 288 00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:57,659 Laces up! 289 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,461 Bill, have you gained weight? 290 00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:00,783 You're supposed to be the Miami Dolphin, 291 00:12:00,883 --> 00:12:03,665 not the Miami Beluga Whale. 292 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,627 And has anybody seen my Ace?! 293 00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:08,430 [ Panting ] Mr. Rubinstein! 294 00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:09,992 What is it, boy? 295 00:12:10,092 --> 00:12:11,673 It's Freya. She's not acting like herself. 296 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,155 She's speaking in weird voices 297 00:12:13,255 --> 00:12:15,117 and just acting like a crazy person. 298 00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:17,679 Oh, no. It's happening. 299 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,162 What's happening? 300 00:12:20,262 --> 00:12:21,643 It's been said that the character of Ace Ventura 301 00:12:21,743 --> 00:12:24,446 is so dark, so deeply twisted, 302 00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:28,050 that it has the potential to infect the mind of anyone 303 00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:31,974 who inhabits his deranged world view for too long. 304 00:12:32,074 --> 00:12:33,335 It happened to my first Ace, 305 00:12:33,435 --> 00:12:35,697 and it made her mentally insane forever. 306 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,140 It also happened to my second Ace. 307 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,022 Actually, it's happened to all of my Aces, 308 00:12:40,122 --> 00:12:41,503 now that I think about it. 309 00:12:41,603 --> 00:12:42,745 I just feel like that's information 310 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,506 you should have told us earlier. 311 00:12:44,606 --> 00:12:47,009 There's not much time! Take me to her! I'm sorry. 312 00:12:50,172 --> 00:12:52,174 Hello? 313 00:12:54,977 --> 00:12:56,979 Freya? 314 00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:00,883 Freya's not here anymore. 315 00:13:00,983 --> 00:13:04,646 There is only...Ace! 316 00:13:04,746 --> 00:13:07,209 Mommy, no! 317 00:13:07,309 --> 00:13:09,812 Um, hey, Ace. 318 00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,693 You think we could, uh, 319 00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:15,017 maybe talk with Freya for a second? 320 00:13:15,117 --> 00:13:18,020 Freya's never coming back. 321 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,905 She was a la-hoo-sa-her. 322 00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:24,186 She's too far gone. 323 00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:27,069 We're gonna have to take her down. 324 00:13:27,169 --> 00:13:28,150 Go! -Yah! 325 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:29,511 Aah! 326 00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,553 No! You're la-hoo-sa-hers! 327 00:13:31,653 --> 00:13:34,977 You're all la-hoo-sa-hers! [ Straining ] 328 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:42,484 [ Groaning ] 329 00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:44,486 What's going on? 330 00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:45,808 Mr. Rubinstein says that I need 331 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,170 to keep you tied up to protect you. 332 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,371 But the play is starting! I know. 333 00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:50,933 Don't worry, they have an understudy. 334 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,614 What? Who? 335 00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,496 Snowflake is missing! 336 00:13:54,596 --> 00:13:56,138 Who can find him? 337 00:13:56,238 --> 00:14:01,243 ♪♪ 338 00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,767 Morris: Um... 339 00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:11,353 [ Whispers ] Help. I forgot all my lines. 340 00:14:11,453 --> 00:14:12,995 All of them? 341 00:14:13,095 --> 00:14:15,097 Yes! 342 00:14:17,259 --> 00:14:18,480 Scraps, you have to let me go, please. 343 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:20,602 This play means everything to me! 344 00:14:20,702 --> 00:14:22,484 I'm sorry, Mommy, but Mr. Rubinstein 345 00:14:22,584 --> 00:14:24,206 says if I let you anywhere near that stage, 346 00:14:24,306 --> 00:14:26,128 you risk turning into Ace Ventura forever. 347 00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:27,970 Would you let me go for a snausage? 348 00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:30,412 Oh, my God, 349 00:14:30,512 --> 00:14:33,175 snausages are so mouth-wateringly delicious. 350 00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:34,656 [ Sighs ] 351 00:14:34,756 --> 00:14:37,019 But no. I made a promise to protect you, 352 00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:38,580 and there's nothing you can say 353 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,781 that can make me break my word. 354 00:14:39,881 --> 00:14:42,624 Two snausages? Instant yes. 355 00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:43,906 Come on, Tai! 356 00:14:44,006 --> 00:14:45,067 How are we doing with tech support?! 357 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,508 I'm still on hold! 358 00:14:46,608 --> 00:14:47,990 No, I would not like to speak to an operator. 359 00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:50,192 Get me a robot! A robot! 360 00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:51,553 Did you try blowing into his butt? 361 00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:54,836 What? Like this. [ Blowing ] 362 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,839 No, no. I'm sorry. I'm just -- I'm not gonna do that. 363 00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,162 Hang on, this is a fallout shelter. 364 00:15:00,262 --> 00:15:04,006 Which means they might have -- Hang on. 365 00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:05,487 Where are you going? 366 00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:06,788 It's an ancient human trick for bringing electronics 367 00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:07,890 back from the dead. 368 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,452 What is that? 369 00:15:10,552 --> 00:15:12,014 It's rice. 370 00:15:12,114 --> 00:15:17,940 ♪♪ 371 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,742 What do we do now? 372 00:15:20,842 --> 00:15:23,705 We wait. 373 00:15:23,805 --> 00:15:27,109 I'm having a full-blown panic attack 374 00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:29,671 and you're all just staring at me. 375 00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:33,515 You're allowing an innocent man to die! 376 00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:38,360 Of course, that might not do any good. 377 00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:41,323 You see, nobody's missing a porpoise. 378 00:15:41,423 --> 00:15:43,565 It's a dolphin that's been taken. 379 00:15:43,665 --> 00:15:44,927 You don't have to do this. 380 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,929 The common harbour porpoise has an abrupt snout, 381 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,451 cone-shaped teeth... It's not worth risking your life! 382 00:15:49,551 --> 00:15:52,174 ... and a serrated dorsal appendage. 383 00:15:52,274 --> 00:15:56,098 [ Crowd murmuring ] 384 00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:58,260 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do this. 385 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,822 Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. 386 00:16:00,922 --> 00:16:02,864 Your number still 911? 387 00:16:02,964 --> 00:16:04,466 Alrighty then! 388 00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:06,548 [ Crowd murmuring ] 389 00:16:06,648 --> 00:16:08,110 [ Applause ] 390 00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:11,873 [ Vocalizes ] 391 00:16:11,973 --> 00:16:13,915 ♪♪ 392 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,598 [ Vocalises in slow motion ] 393 00:16:16,698 --> 00:16:17,839 ♪♪ 394 00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:19,481 [ Vocalises in slow motion ] 395 00:16:19,581 --> 00:16:21,163 Now let's see that in rewind. 396 00:16:21,263 --> 00:16:23,085 [ Imitates rewinding ] 397 00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:26,848 [ Crowd laughs ] 398 00:16:26,948 --> 00:16:29,571 ♪ O sole mia ♪ 399 00:16:29,671 --> 00:16:32,014 [ Singing gibberish ] 400 00:16:32,114 --> 00:16:35,177 ♪ O sole mio ♪ This is art. 401 00:16:35,277 --> 00:16:39,341 [ Singing gibberish ] 402 00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:45,407 Ree-hee-hee-hee-heeally? 403 00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:50,592 [ Cheers and applause ] 404 00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:51,833 Yes! 405 00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:55,557 [ Cheers and applause ] 406 00:16:55,657 --> 00:16:58,160 [ Triumphant music plays ] 407 00:16:58,260 --> 00:16:59,841 [ Clanking ] 408 00:16:59,941 --> 00:17:01,203 [ Applause fades ] 409 00:17:01,303 --> 00:17:02,444 [ Click ] 410 00:17:02,544 --> 00:17:05,127 [ Audience gasps, murmurs ] 411 00:17:05,227 --> 00:17:06,208 Where'd she go? 412 00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:07,409 [ Crickets chirping ] 413 00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:12,094 Dear God, or whatever AI overlord 414 00:17:12,194 --> 00:17:14,176 might be applicable here, 415 00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:18,420 don't take Tai into your big cloud in the sky. 416 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:23,425 Bring him home to his charging station of origin. 417 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:24,666 Amen. 418 00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:25,907 All: A-robot. 419 00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:27,549 [ Gasps ] 420 00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:29,591 [ All chuckle ] 421 00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:31,713 Easy, there. You're still booting up. 422 00:17:31,813 --> 00:17:33,835 Did I -- Did I lose my -- 423 00:17:33,935 --> 00:17:36,758 No, don't worry. All your tabs are still open. 424 00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:38,560 Oh, okay. 425 00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,642 I-I'm gonna read those someday. 426 00:17:40,742 --> 00:17:42,444 I really am. 427 00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,566 Thanks, guys. Thank Sid. 428 00:17:44,666 --> 00:17:46,808 He's the one who saved you. 429 00:17:46,908 --> 00:17:48,330 You did? 430 00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,612 I -- I thought you hated me. 431 00:17:50,712 --> 00:17:52,454 I don't know why you thought that. 432 00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:55,297 I've been trying really hard to be your friend. 433 00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:57,259 Y-- You're important to Freya, Tai, 434 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,382 which means you're important to me. 435 00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:05,347 Ah, jeez. I'm sorry. I've been such a jerk to you. 436 00:18:05,447 --> 00:18:06,748 I've been blaming you for the fact 437 00:18:06,848 --> 00:18:08,190 that my friendship with Freya 438 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:12,114 isn't what it used to be, but it's not your fault. 439 00:18:12,214 --> 00:18:14,076 And I hate to admit it, 440 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,720 but you're actually a pretty great guy. 441 00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:21,963 Thank you. That means a lot. 442 00:18:22,063 --> 00:18:23,965 Well, I still think you're a dipshit. 443 00:18:24,065 --> 00:18:26,608 Oh, yeah. Dorky loser dipshit. 444 00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,130 Yeah. Thanks, guys. 445 00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:30,372 ♪♪ 446 00:18:30,472 --> 00:18:33,815 Mommy! Are you out there? 447 00:18:33,915 --> 00:18:36,378 Mommy! 448 00:18:36,478 --> 00:18:40,262 Over there! On the cliff! 449 00:18:40,362 --> 00:18:44,266 Freya, you don't have to listen to Ace! 450 00:18:44,366 --> 00:18:45,507 You can fight it! 451 00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:47,269 It's okay. 452 00:18:47,369 --> 00:18:48,870 I'm just saying goodbye. 453 00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:54,756 ♪♪ 454 00:18:54,856 --> 00:19:00,882 Ace, you came to me when my life felt small and boring, 455 00:19:00,982 --> 00:19:06,288 and you reminded me that there's still magic out there. 456 00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:09,211 But I don't need you anymore. 457 00:19:09,311 --> 00:19:11,253 I'll be... 458 00:19:11,353 --> 00:19:12,814 alrighty then. 459 00:19:12,914 --> 00:19:15,217 [ Solemn music plays ] 460 00:19:15,317 --> 00:19:16,858 Alrighty then. 461 00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:24,065 ♪♪ 462 00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:25,467 We can go home now. 463 00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:27,989 Ahh, I knew you'd be okay. 464 00:19:28,089 --> 00:19:30,192 I wasn't worried about you for a second. 465 00:19:30,292 --> 00:19:31,513 Let's go. Come on. 466 00:19:31,613 --> 00:19:39,521 ♪♪ 467 00:19:39,621 --> 00:19:47,669 ♪♪ 468 00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:52,214 Guys, isn't it crazy that this nail is metal, 469 00:19:52,314 --> 00:19:53,775 and we're metal? 470 00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:56,218 We could've been this nail. 471 00:19:56,318 --> 00:19:58,980 I would've made such a good nail. 472 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,343 You know what's a weird word? 473 00:20:01,443 --> 00:20:03,745 Robot. Robot. 474 00:20:03,845 --> 00:20:05,106 Robot. Robot. 475 00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:07,589 Whoa, that is weird. 476 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:09,110 Hey, guys? 477 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,993 You know how the only numbers are one and zero? 478 00:20:12,093 --> 00:20:13,235 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 479 00:20:13,335 --> 00:20:15,517 Well, what if there were other numbers? 480 00:20:15,617 --> 00:20:20,442 I mean, there are other numbers. 481 00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,964 Two, for example. 482 00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:24,766 Whoa. [ Laughs ] Whoa. 483 00:20:24,866 --> 00:20:27,088 Sid, you're, like, a genius. 484 00:20:27,188 --> 00:20:30,252 Thanks, man. 485 00:20:30,352 --> 00:20:32,354 I'm so [bleep] up. 32933

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