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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:24,029 _ 2 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,187 Hi. You've reached Anja, 3 00:00:27,211 --> 00:00:28,975 and you're probably my mom, dad or grandma, 4 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,816 so just feel free to leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. 5 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,108 Thanks. 6 00:00:33,132 --> 00:00:35,529 Anja, I wish you'd change your outgoing message. 7 00:00:35,553 --> 00:00:37,353 It's not very professional. 8 00:00:37,378 --> 00:00:39,763 How do you know it's me, Dad, or Noni calling? 9 00:00:39,788 --> 00:00:41,914 Anyway, I sent this in an e-mail, 10 00:00:41,949 --> 00:00:44,282 that the woman you should call is Barbara Horne. 11 00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:46,224 - H-O-R-N-E. - _ 12 00:00:46,253 --> 00:00:49,287 She's been at the top of God knows how many publications 13 00:00:49,322 --> 00:00:51,189 and she's the real deal, honey. All right? 14 00:00:51,224 --> 00:00:53,358 I told her about your NYU column. 15 00:00:53,394 --> 00:00:56,060 She's expecting your call, so call her please. 16 00:00:56,096 --> 00:00:58,698 Do not e-mail. But like I said, 17 00:00:58,723 --> 00:01:01,765 just see if you can take her to lunch, pick her brain, whatever. 18 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,035 She's kind of a pain in the ass, but, you know, she's very major. 19 00:01:05,062 --> 00:01:08,872 Uh, anyway, there you go. You're welcome. Um, what else? 20 00:01:08,897 --> 00:01:10,740 Uh, not much happening over here. 21 00:01:10,776 --> 00:01:14,278 Dad and I walked down to the lake with Rosie this morning. 22 00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:15,779 - She had a tough time. - _ 23 00:01:15,805 --> 00:01:19,379 I think we're gonna have to put her down soon so of course, Daddy's a wreck. 24 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,803 But if you want to see her, 25 00:01:20,828 --> 00:01:22,696 - you should come visit. - Ow, ow, ow, 26 00:01:22,721 --> 00:01:24,819 Anyway, call us and call Barbara! 27 00:01:48,945 --> 00:01:51,612 _ 28 00:01:56,861 --> 00:01:58,331 Hello, this is Barbara Horne. 29 00:01:58,355 --> 00:02:01,100 I'm not available to take your call, but if you leave a detailed message, 30 00:02:01,124 --> 00:02:03,233 I'll be sure to get back to you at my earliest convenience. 31 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,405 Have a great day. 32 00:02:05,629 --> 00:02:09,431 Hi, Barbara, This is Anja Jacobs, Judy and Ron's daughter. 33 00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:12,800 I'd love to, uh, set something... 34 00:02:12,836 --> 00:02:14,269 Fuck! 35 00:02:14,303 --> 00:02:16,610 To save your message, press the pound key. 36 00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:18,820 To listen to your message, press one. 37 00:02:18,845 --> 00:02:21,176 - To rerecord your message, press three. - _ 38 00:02:21,211 --> 00:02:24,579 Please record your message after the tone. 39 00:02:24,624 --> 00:02:26,591 Weird time in the season to shop. 40 00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:29,049 Hi there. Uh, this is Anja Jacobs, 41 00:02:29,085 --> 00:02:30,319 - Ron and Judy's daughter. - Thank you! 42 00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:33,387 I think you're expecting my call. Uh... hi. 43 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:36,683 Uh, I'd love to set up a time to take you out to lunch 44 00:02:36,726 --> 00:02:40,361 and, like, pick your brain about the business and all of that. 45 00:02:40,396 --> 00:02:42,345 Oh, my mom also gave me your e-mail, 46 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,999 so I can send you my contact info there as well. 47 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:48,235 Uh... oh, as well as, uh, relevant links to me and my work. 48 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:50,197 - Sorry. - I have these like, Kardashian recaps 49 00:02:50,222 --> 00:02:52,426 I've been doing sort of just like, for fun. Um... 50 00:02:52,451 --> 00:02:55,730 All right, so thank you and I hope to meet you soon. Peace! 51 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,866 Psst. 52 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,472 _ 53 00:03:53,273 --> 00:03:55,241 _ 54 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,984 As I contemplated the fact 55 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:05,610 that my relationship had gone to pot, literally, 56 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,913 I realized no high or low 57 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,983 would make this day any day other 58 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:15,286 than the day I got broken up with by a post-it. 59 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,588 Now let's keep the sidewalk clear. Come on. 60 00:05:04,612 --> 00:05:06,244 Ma'am, I need you to step back. 61 00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:12,474 Hey, what's up? 62 00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:14,543 Thanks for agreeing to do this. 63 00:05:14,578 --> 00:05:16,112 Yeah, it's not a big deal. 64 00:05:16,147 --> 00:05:18,533 I mean, as long as I'm anonymous, I don't really care. 65 00:05:18,558 --> 00:05:20,215 Yeah, no, of course. 66 00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:23,686 Of course. You will be completely anonymous. 67 00:05:23,721 --> 00:05:26,054 Um... uh... 68 00:05:26,089 --> 00:05:29,332 do you mind if I take a picture of your weed though? 69 00:05:30,762 --> 00:05:32,694 I guess I'd rather you didn't. 70 00:05:32,729 --> 00:05:35,439 It's just I have all these, you know, labels 71 00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:38,239 and I don't want any identifying things on the Internet, you know what I mean? 72 00:05:38,263 --> 00:05:41,509 - Uh, yeah. Okay, that's... - Sorry. 73 00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:44,454 That's fine. Do you want some cold brew? 74 00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:46,636 Uh, no. I actually had two today, 75 00:05:46,661 --> 00:05:48,843 - so I'm good. - Oh, wow. 76 00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:50,979 This is, like, my sixth cup today. 77 00:05:51,014 --> 00:05:52,502 Um, okay. Ready? 78 00:05:52,527 --> 00:05:54,916 Okay, yeah. 79 00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:56,651 - Okay. - Cool. 80 00:05:57,887 --> 00:05:59,731 - That's a lot of coffee. - Gotta find the pages. 81 00:05:59,755 --> 00:06:01,222 One second. 82 00:06:01,257 --> 00:06:03,381 - Shit. - Yeah. 83 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,459 - There we go. - There you go. 84 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,959 - Um, all right. Ready? - Yeah. 85 00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:09,763 This is a safe space. 86 00:06:12,368 --> 00:06:16,136 So... you're a pot dealer. 87 00:06:16,641 --> 00:06:18,174 What's that like? 88 00:06:19,008 --> 00:06:23,210 Uh, I just kind of bike around and, uh, people call me 89 00:06:23,245 --> 00:06:26,213 and... and then I bring them weed pretty much. 90 00:06:26,248 --> 00:06:27,815 It's kind of all there is to it. 91 00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:31,017 And, uh, where do you get your weed? 92 00:06:31,841 --> 00:06:35,222 Uh... I'm not gonna answer that one. Sorry. 93 00:06:35,486 --> 00:06:36,656 - Pass. - Okay. 94 00:06:36,692 --> 00:06:37,890 - Cool. - Mm-hmm. 95 00:06:37,926 --> 00:06:40,594 It's totally cool. Um... 96 00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:42,262 Have you ever been arrested? 97 00:06:42,297 --> 00:06:45,088 No, luckily not. Knock on wood. 98 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,333 - Yeah. - Right? 99 00:06:46,368 --> 00:06:48,267 Yeah. Um... 100 00:06:48,302 --> 00:06:52,571 Do you feel like maybe that's because you're white? 101 00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:57,611 Uh, maybe. 102 00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,546 - Oh, shit. - Um... I... I mean, yeah, I guess 103 00:07:00,581 --> 00:07:03,149 - it has something to do with it. - Yeah, maybe. 104 00:07:03,184 --> 00:07:06,447 But, you know, it's also maybe 'cause I'm small potatoes 105 00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:07,970 - and, uh... - Yeah. 106 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,111 I just deal a little weed and sometimes mushrooms, 107 00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:11,690 - so I'm not really... - Oh. Okay. 108 00:07:11,718 --> 00:07:13,217 So mushrooms as well? 109 00:07:13,544 --> 00:07:15,373 Yeah, I'm not really on their radar. 110 00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,563 Okay. Yeah. 111 00:07:17,598 --> 00:07:19,846 What about your, um, client list? 112 00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:22,968 Are they mostly white as well, like you? 113 00:07:23,003 --> 00:07:27,249 Well, uh, yeah, most of them are white actually. 114 00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:29,703 Now that I think about it. I haven't really thought about it before. 115 00:07:29,727 --> 00:07:31,376 There's... There's some... 116 00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,444 No, there's more than a few non-white customers. 117 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:37,114 Why do you think that most of your clients are white? 118 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:40,272 Hey, so what's with all the racial questions? 119 00:07:40,297 --> 00:07:42,202 Well, it's just that a... 120 00:07:42,227 --> 00:07:46,424 a disproportionate amount of people in prison for marijuana offenses are... 121 00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:50,024 are non-white, and I thought you might have something to say about that. 122 00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:53,949 I mean, that's cool. I understand. It's important, but, uh... 123 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,900 just, uh, off the record, 124 00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,334 when I sat down to do this, 125 00:07:57,369 --> 00:07:59,607 you said you wanted me to tell you some fun stories 126 00:07:59,632 --> 00:08:02,506 - about dealing weed, and not, uh... - Mm-hmm. 127 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,741 race politics. 128 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:06,772 - Yeah, I know, I know. - So like, just a heads up, you know? 129 00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:08,745 I'm sor... It's just that, um... 130 00:08:09,538 --> 00:08:13,917 I feel like there's a bigger point that we... you know, like, it's just... 131 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:17,554 I'm trying to focus on, like, the, um, intersectionality 132 00:08:17,589 --> 00:08:21,671 of, like, race and pot in a post-prohibition era. 133 00:08:21,696 --> 00:08:24,093 And we will get to the anecdotes. Um... 134 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:27,722 I just felt like I would be remiss as an interviewer 135 00:08:27,765 --> 00:08:31,100 if I didn't cover this very important part of the subject. 136 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:35,204 Like blacks in Iowa are 8.3% more likely to get arrested 137 00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:38,235 for... for possession and dealing than... than bla... than whites. 138 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:41,610 And, and I just... I felt like it was important to highlight 139 00:08:41,635 --> 00:08:44,747 how race might affect your experience of your job. 140 00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:45,914 - It is important. - Yeah. 141 00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:47,883 I'm sorry. Um, uh... 142 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,785 Do you... Would you actually just... 143 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,954 uh, excuse me for a second? 144 00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,672 - Okay. - Sorry, I just... 145 00:08:53,704 --> 00:08:57,184 I gotta, uh, take this. It's for work Um, it's just gonna be one second. 146 00:08:57,209 --> 00:08:59,027 I'll be right back. 147 00:08:59,411 --> 00:09:00,473 Hello? 148 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,391 - Whoa, dude. - Hi, Barbara! 149 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,155 Thanks for calling me back! 150 00:09:05,935 --> 00:09:07,379 Oh, my gosh, 151 00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:09,604 it's like, so nice that you called back at all! 152 00:09:09,639 --> 00:09:12,207 I mean, my mom's been talking about you for a while, 153 00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:16,200 and, uh, to be honest, I didn't even really know who you were, who you are. 154 00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:17,890 But then I Googled you and I was like, 155 00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:18,938 - "Wow... - Okay, here we go. 156 00:09:18,962 --> 00:09:20,929 "this woman is like fucking legit!" 157 00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:24,719 Right. So I was hoping to find the time to like, 158 00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:28,177 - buy you coffee and pick your brain. - Oh, fuck you. 159 00:09:29,025 --> 00:09:31,410 - Oh, no. - Okay, um... 160 00:09:32,262 --> 00:09:33,895 In that case, can I, 161 00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:36,063 um, can I call you tomorrow again? 162 00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:38,691 I'm actually in the middle of... 163 00:09:40,796 --> 00:09:43,804 No, that's okay. Thank you. 164 00:09:43,839 --> 00:09:45,935 Good night. Oh, and thanks again! 165 00:09:49,445 --> 00:09:53,146 I'm sorry. Um, where... where were we? 166 00:09:54,617 --> 00:09:57,150 Um, uh, is everything okay? 167 00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:59,452 I'm gonna need you to erase that Instagram. 168 00:10:00,523 --> 00:10:03,189 - Right. - Please. 169 00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:32,275 Hungary and Croatia continue to turn away migrants. 170 00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:36,046 Many are finding their way north through Europe's central eastern corridor, 171 00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:38,148 while countries like Serbia and Bulgaria 172 00:11:38,183 --> 00:11:40,017 are struggling to keep their borders sealed. 173 00:11:40,644 --> 00:11:43,988 - The European Union continues... - Is it ready? 174 00:11:44,023 --> 00:11:45,792 Thank you, Ida. 175 00:11:57,403 --> 00:12:00,170 Good morning, babe. 176 00:12:00,205 --> 00:12:02,639 - What time is it? - It's around 9:00. 177 00:12:02,674 --> 00:12:06,142 Ida made you those breakfast perogies you love. 178 00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:09,045 I love Ida. 179 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,880 Yeah. Ida loves you. 180 00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,215 No, no, no. Ugh. 181 00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:17,319 - My mouth tastes like a cat shit in it. - Oh, no, I love that. Come here. 182 00:12:17,355 --> 00:12:19,088 Mm... 183 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:20,774 - Sick. - Mm. 184 00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:23,106 Mm, it's so good, in fact. 185 00:12:23,131 --> 00:12:24,427 - Mm. - Mm. 186 00:12:24,462 --> 00:12:26,377 - Morning. - Good morning. 187 00:12:26,402 --> 00:12:27,663 Mm. 188 00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:29,721 - Don't go to work. - Oh, I know. 189 00:12:29,774 --> 00:12:32,575 I don't want to, but I... want to marry you right now. 190 00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,127 - No, not yet. - Wanna get married right now? 191 00:12:34,151 --> 00:12:36,004 - Not yet. - I gotta wait? Okay, I'll wait. 192 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,372 I gotta go. Mm. Love you. 193 00:12:37,407 --> 00:12:38,807 - Bye. - Bye. 194 00:12:44,414 --> 00:12:49,084 Hey, Nihal, are we still going to Marta for the black truffle pizza? 195 00:12:49,119 --> 00:12:52,917 Hell yeah! Brenda made us a rezzie for eight. Love ya! 196 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,777 Love you. 197 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,959 Now, using a dating app to find romance 198 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,962 may have become the norm for finding love in the modern age, 199 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:05,213 but this next fall comedy might have you think twice before swiping right. 200 00:13:05,238 --> 00:13:06,518 It's called "Homeless Helga" 201 00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:09,971 and it stars "Orange Is the New Black's" Kimiko Glenn as Helga, 202 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,698 who's, you guessed it, homeless. 203 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:15,093 Mm, ain't nobody got time for this. 204 00:13:15,248 --> 00:13:17,311 Can we get the lobster mac and cheese, 205 00:13:17,346 --> 00:13:19,446 lamb face tacos, and a bottle of Dom? 206 00:13:19,482 --> 00:13:22,717 Now, on the surface, Helga looks anything but homeless. 207 00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:24,851 She's adorable and put together, 208 00:13:24,886 --> 00:13:27,454 but she secretly scams guys she meets online 209 00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,357 into buying her meals and letting her crash. 210 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,560 So I met this girl on "What's Up, Cupid." I think I'm falling in love. 211 00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:35,729 Her victims are totally oblivious 212 00:13:35,764 --> 00:13:38,132 as Helga blinds them with her adorable charm. 213 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,133 Almost done, baby. 214 00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:43,273 Yay. Let's order tacos, dum-dum. 215 00:13:43,309 --> 00:13:44,876 Okay. I'll pay. 216 00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:48,932 It's working out well for her, but some people are on to Helga and her tricks. 217 00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:52,831 I play Matt's weed dealer, and he tells Matt in the pilot 218 00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:56,049 that Helga is actually homeless. 219 00:13:56,084 --> 00:13:59,054 She's called Homeless Helga, bro. 220 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:01,120 - Uh-uh. - I would definitely say 221 00:14:01,154 --> 00:14:03,720 that Brooklyn is a character in this show without a doubt. 222 00:14:03,754 --> 00:14:04,872 You can stay as long as you want. 223 00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:06,431 Maybe I should just move in. 224 00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:07,938 Be sure to tune in 225 00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:09,675 for this hilarious hipster comedy. 226 00:14:10,237 --> 00:14:12,237 Yaaas! 227 00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,946 That really does make me think twice 228 00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,136 - about online dating. - What the fuck? 229 00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:20,767 _ 230 00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:30,748 Oh, my God! 231 00:14:30,784 --> 00:14:33,652 Mark! I thought that was you. 232 00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:35,654 - Hello. - How's it going, buddy? 233 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:36,909 It's been so long! 234 00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,257 I'm sorry, but do we know each other? 235 00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:40,559 - Uh... - Oh. 236 00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:42,338 Well, I'm glad you and your Hollywood friends 237 00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:44,596 finally realized I was gonna sue your fucking face off 238 00:14:44,631 --> 00:14:46,597 for getting rich off of my fucking life story! 239 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,551 Yeah, I... I'm sorry, but I... I don't know who you are. 240 00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:51,602 Oh, okay. Listen, shithead, 241 00:14:51,961 --> 00:14:54,821 pretending that I didn't endure two weeks of your stupid jokes 242 00:14:54,846 --> 00:14:57,553 and your stupid fucking shitty railroad apartment, isn't gonna happen. 243 00:14:57,577 --> 00:14:59,643 Look, I can't say that I know what you're talking about, Miss. 244 00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,791 You see, I recently came into a bit of monetary success, 245 00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:03,992 and, well, now all sorts of people are crawling out of the woodwork 246 00:15:04,015 --> 00:15:05,521 and it kind of sounds like you're looking for a payday too. 247 00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:07,176 Does that sound right or... 248 00:15:09,728 --> 00:15:11,616 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Okay, look... 249 00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:13,639 - I don't need your money! - But I will say that 250 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,330 if you and I were to spend a whole week in my apartment together, alone, 251 00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:17,814 ordering take-out and only going out at night 252 00:15:17,838 --> 00:15:18,998 to drink in dark places by ourselves, 253 00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:20,912 then I'm sure there'd be no one there to back up your story. 254 00:15:20,936 --> 00:15:22,666 - Oh. - Which never happened. 255 00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:25,268 Oh, well... Oh, you fucking idiot! 256 00:15:25,303 --> 00:15:30,040 Watch out! Watch out 'cause my fucking lawyer's serving your ass! 257 00:15:30,075 --> 00:15:34,544 Kimiko Glenn's not even Korean, you fucking racist! 258 00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,643 - A literal monster. - I didn't know 259 00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:42,799 you had it in there. 260 00:15:42,823 --> 00:15:44,621 And I'm in that mouth on a regular basis. 261 00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:46,050 Well, I heard it on a dog phone, 262 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,990 so I don't tell that many people, to be honest. 263 00:15:48,025 --> 00:15:49,058 What's up? 264 00:15:49,093 --> 00:15:50,760 Sup? What you doing? 265 00:15:50,795 --> 00:15:54,596 Yeah, I'm just chilling. Rewatching some of my epic "Broad City" performances. 266 00:15:54,632 --> 00:15:56,531 Oh. Interesting. 267 00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:58,333 Yeah, hey, quick question: 268 00:15:58,369 --> 00:16:02,037 do you remember that guy, um, who used to sell us weed 269 00:16:02,073 --> 00:16:04,640 back when I was living with you? Do you have his number? 270 00:16:22,393 --> 00:16:24,393 Resetting. Resetting. 271 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:29,063 Still rolling. Reset please. Resetting. Still rolling. 272 00:16:29,099 --> 00:16:30,609 Okay, that's a reset. 273 00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:33,301 Resetting. We are resetting. Copy that. 274 00:16:37,108 --> 00:16:39,312 Okay, guys, those last couple of cars are passing through, 275 00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:42,743 - so when they do, let's lock it up. - Cool. Lock it up. Lockin' it up. 276 00:16:42,779 --> 00:16:44,816 We don't have to do anything! 277 00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:48,417 Ready. Here we go. Rolling. 278 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,451 Okay. Rolling. Copy that. 279 00:16:52,488 --> 00:16:54,888 Action. Copy that. Have a good take. 280 00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:56,302 Aaron, don't tell us to have a good take. 281 00:16:56,326 --> 00:16:58,058 Awesome. Sorry about that. Copy that. 282 00:16:58,335 --> 00:17:00,202 Don't say "copy" to everything. 283 00:17:07,236 --> 00:17:08,435 Oh, I... I... I... 284 00:17:08,470 --> 00:17:11,538 Actually, uh, I can't let you come through here right now 285 00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,273 'cause we're rolling, you know? 286 00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:15,342 Oh. 287 00:17:15,377 --> 00:17:17,877 Okay, I'm going in that building right there though. 288 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,245 It's behind camera. 289 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,013 - Can I... - Yeah, let me... 290 00:17:21,049 --> 00:17:22,527 - Do you mind if I check on that? - Yeah. 291 00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:23,583 Okay. 292 00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,362 Hey, um, this is Aaron. 293 00:17:25,387 --> 00:17:30,730 I actually have a bicyclist that needs to get to a building behind the camera. 294 00:17:30,755 --> 00:17:32,424 Is it okay if I let him through? 295 00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:34,772 No, we're rolling. 296 00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:37,263 No, no one's in, so copy that. I was thinking the same thing. 297 00:17:37,298 --> 00:17:40,333 Actually I have to ask you to wait till we cut. 298 00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:42,030 If that's okay? 299 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,864 - That guy just walked by. - Yeah. Sir? 300 00:17:45,907 --> 00:17:48,318 - You can't get 'em every time. - Yeah. 301 00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:51,799 Yeah, but I think actually my job is to do that. 302 00:17:52,747 --> 00:17:53,979 You got me. 303 00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,814 Yeah. 304 00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:58,123 And I'm never letting you go. 305 00:17:59,987 --> 00:18:01,304 No, I'll let you go when they just say 306 00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:03,223 they've stopped rolling, and then I'll let you go. 307 00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:04,502 Okay. 308 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,199 Ooh! 309 00:18:08,224 --> 00:18:09,590 Yup. Okay. 310 00:18:11,932 --> 00:18:14,132 Oh, actually, sir... 311 00:18:17,343 --> 00:18:18,514 That's a cut. That's a cut. 312 00:18:18,538 --> 00:18:21,210 Oh, that's a cut. Copy that. Back to one. Good stuff. 313 00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:23,374 - All right, well, thanks, Aaron. - Awesome, man. 314 00:18:25,622 --> 00:18:28,379 - You're doing great, man. - I'm really not. 315 00:18:29,059 --> 00:18:29,980 - Hey, man. - What's up, man? 316 00:18:30,016 --> 00:18:31,568 - How's it going? - How are you doing, man? 317 00:18:31,592 --> 00:18:32,729 Doing all right, doing all right. 318 00:18:32,753 --> 00:18:34,986 - They're shooting "Girls" outside. - I know, man. 319 00:18:35,011 --> 00:18:37,750 I tried to get a cameo, but, you know, per my Comedy Central deal, 320 00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,624 I can only do a couple guest spots per year. 321 00:18:40,659 --> 00:18:42,192 Ah, well. You remember Heidi. 322 00:18:42,217 --> 00:18:43,783 - Yeah. Hi. - Sup? 323 00:18:43,829 --> 00:18:45,993 - How are you doin'? - Mm, good. 324 00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:49,461 So what do you guys want today? I got, uh... 325 00:18:49,613 --> 00:18:52,295 - I'm carrying pens now. - Oh, nice. 326 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,840 And I got some edibles and, uh, of course I have just plain ol' flowers. 327 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,453 - Oh, cool. - Cool case, man. 328 00:18:59,478 --> 00:19:03,153 Thank you. You know, the cops, they can't ask you to unlock it. 329 00:19:03,189 --> 00:19:04,476 - Really? - Yeah. 330 00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:05,954 - Oh, that's cool. - Yeah. There you go. 331 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,282 - Boom. - Oh, my God. 332 00:19:07,307 --> 00:19:08,617 - Yeah. - Beautiful. 333 00:19:08,653 --> 00:19:10,985 Okay, so these are sativas, these are indicas. 334 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:15,524 These are 25, 50, 75, 15, 15. 335 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:20,063 Hey, so remember that guy Mark that you used to sell to? 336 00:19:20,098 --> 00:19:24,533 Um, I kind of need you to testify that you saw us together. 337 00:19:25,837 --> 00:19:27,235 What? 338 00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,071 I just need you to whatever. 339 00:19:29,106 --> 00:19:31,607 Just say that you saw us once in front of lawyers. 340 00:19:31,642 --> 00:19:34,643 You want me to testify in court that I'm a weed dealer 341 00:19:34,679 --> 00:19:36,876 and that I saw you scamming one of my clients? 342 00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:38,848 Not in court, no. 343 00:19:38,883 --> 00:19:43,218 It's a taped deposition, so you just show up and say, "Hey." 344 00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:44,597 And if they ask you about your weed, 345 00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:46,921 my lawyer says you just plead the Fifth or whatever. 346 00:19:46,957 --> 00:19:48,801 - Okay. That's... that's... - It's just like, yeah. 347 00:19:48,825 --> 00:19:49,757 - Cool. - Yeah. 348 00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:52,401 I'm not gonna do it. 349 00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:55,597 I'm calling out the Fifth Amendment for my rights, I guess. 350 00:19:55,622 --> 00:19:57,475 - Yeah. You invited me. - Dude! 351 00:19:57,834 --> 00:20:01,769 That fucking dingle-butt stole my intellectual property 352 00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:03,779 and is making a shit-ton of money off of me, okay? 353 00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,975 - That's not cool. Come on. - It's like "The Social Network." 354 00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:09,911 He's Mark Zuckerberg and she's the Winklevoss twins. 355 00:20:10,189 --> 00:20:11,220 I think you mean that... 356 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,220 - she's Mark Zuckerberg... - She's Mark Zucker... 357 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,540 No, she's the Winklevoss twins. 358 00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,101 - She's the... I don't know... - You're right. Yeah. 359 00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,752 - Okay, okay, okay, hey, hey. - I think it works. 360 00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:20,458 I am homeless. 361 00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:24,289 This settlement could change my life. 362 00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:29,362 Yeah, but you're, like, homeless by choice though, right? 363 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,933 Which is your business and, I don't know, 364 00:20:32,968 --> 00:20:36,175 I don't want to be on record as a weed dealer so I can help, a... 365 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,271 Vagabond vagina peddler? 366 00:20:38,555 --> 00:20:40,200 Oh, damn. I didn't... 367 00:20:40,509 --> 00:20:41,717 That's not nice. 368 00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:43,977 - Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that, man. - Sex gypsy? 369 00:20:44,529 --> 00:20:46,724 - Oh. Well... - Or like a... 370 00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:48,489 - I didn't say sex gypsy. - Excuse me. 371 00:20:48,517 --> 00:20:50,328 - I just heard somebody else say it. - Are you finished 372 00:20:50,352 --> 00:20:51,717 with your slut shaming? 373 00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:53,319 - We're not slut shaming. - Huh? 374 00:20:53,355 --> 00:20:54,512 - I wouldn't say... - Uh, I don't know... 375 00:20:54,536 --> 00:20:56,722 Felt like it! Whenever you're finished 376 00:20:56,769 --> 00:20:58,902 shaming me for my sexuality... 377 00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:02,127 - It's just sensitive times. - I have something to show you. 378 00:21:02,163 --> 00:21:03,729 I play the role of Guy. 379 00:21:03,765 --> 00:21:05,164 - Uh, he is... - Oh, Brett Gelman. 380 00:21:05,207 --> 00:21:08,968 Matt's weed dealer. And in the pilot, he tells Matt that Helga is homeless, 381 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,938 and they kind of join forces to expose her. 382 00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,583 No, what do you mean she's homeless, dude? 383 00:21:15,284 --> 00:21:17,384 - Sin casa, bro. - And I love the role. 384 00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:19,633 - He's kind of that comic relief. And... - Oh, fuck. 385 00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:21,291 - the straight man in the show. - What the fuck? 386 00:21:21,315 --> 00:21:22,899 You know, he gets to be the guy who goes 387 00:21:22,923 --> 00:21:25,938 but also the guy who goes, "Hey, that stinks!" You know? 388 00:21:25,963 --> 00:21:29,588 Yeah! How about Vietnamese? 389 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,193 So happy you're amused. 390 00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,596 - It's very well-written. - Thank you. 391 00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:38,220 Yeah, because it's my life, actually. 392 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:40,832 Listen, Ms. Park, are you able to offer physical proof 393 00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:42,474 that you ever spent time with Mr. Greene? 394 00:21:42,499 --> 00:21:45,814 Yes. We have printouts of all of our correspondences 395 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:48,006 on OkCupid, and I think you will see 396 00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:50,283 that Mark and I have had several exchanges 397 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,143 since we, uh... before we met up. 398 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:56,867 We also have a printout of my inbox if you'd like to take a look at that... 399 00:21:56,891 --> 00:21:58,436 - Ms. Park? - as well. Yes? 400 00:21:58,461 --> 00:22:00,969 Ms. Park, do you have proof that you actually, 401 00:22:00,994 --> 00:22:03,421 physically, spent time together? 402 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,860 My client was, well, let's just say he was rather active 403 00:22:05,885 --> 00:22:08,854 in the online dating community at the time you say you were lovers. 404 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,987 He was corresponding with a number of women three years ago. 405 00:22:12,012 --> 00:22:13,174 Oh. 406 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:16,316 You mean private stuff, like he only has one ball? 407 00:22:16,496 --> 00:22:18,029 Stuff like that? 408 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,537 Like personal, private information? 409 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:24,572 No, I don't know Heidi Park, nor am I acquainted with her drug dealer. 410 00:22:24,597 --> 00:22:26,843 There are a number of details in your screenplay 411 00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:29,679 that would tell us otherwise, Mr. Greene. 412 00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:32,715 It's incredible how many people think my work is about them. 413 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,161 It's been very surprising, but I think that just, you know, 414 00:22:35,186 --> 00:22:37,754 speaks to the universality of my writing. 415 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:39,623 I am surprised. 416 00:22:40,050 --> 00:22:44,661 The specificity of the details of your "Homeless Helga" series, 417 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:47,096 the Germanic first name that starts with an H, 418 00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:51,609 the family-owned yogurt business, these details, sir, are... 419 00:22:52,403 --> 00:22:55,180 fabricated from your own imagination? 420 00:22:55,205 --> 00:22:56,371 Yeah. 421 00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:57,939 They were. 422 00:23:24,995 --> 00:23:26,553 Yeah, um... 423 00:23:26,578 --> 00:23:27,709 We, uh... 424 00:23:27,734 --> 00:23:29,838 I did, uh, join him in his apartment 425 00:23:29,873 --> 00:23:32,702 a couple of times this year and the year before. Yes. 426 00:23:33,161 --> 00:23:36,311 And how would you characterize your relationship with Mr. Greene? 427 00:23:37,335 --> 00:23:38,946 Would you say you were friends? 428 00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:42,817 I... wouldn't say we were close, 429 00:23:42,852 --> 00:23:46,254 but I would say we hung out a couple of times, yeah. 430 00:23:46,354 --> 00:23:48,967 Well, what were you doing when you would go to Mr. Greene's residence? 431 00:23:48,991 --> 00:23:50,550 You don't have to answer that. 432 00:23:51,689 --> 00:23:53,094 I don't have to answer that. 433 00:23:53,129 --> 00:23:55,629 Can you offer any proof that you have had any connection 434 00:23:55,664 --> 00:23:57,598 with Mr. Greene outside of this room? 435 00:23:57,882 --> 00:23:59,315 Oh, yeah. 436 00:24:00,703 --> 00:24:02,069 Right here. 437 00:24:03,017 --> 00:24:04,620 Do you have a photo of the two of you together? 438 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,044 - Hold on, hold on. Hold on. - Okay. 439 00:24:16,313 --> 00:24:17,851 Uh-oh. 440 00:24:18,211 --> 00:24:19,853 So that's me, right? 441 00:24:19,888 --> 00:24:22,695 And my name comes up on there. It should be, like... 442 00:24:23,324 --> 00:24:25,591 - something to do with... - Yeah. 443 00:24:25,806 --> 00:24:28,340 Camera should get that too, right? 444 00:24:29,890 --> 00:24:31,346 Yeah, so there you go. 445 00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:38,801 What you looking at? 446 00:24:39,184 --> 00:24:41,206 - Wedding pics. - Aww. 447 00:24:41,356 --> 00:24:43,776 - Look how cute I am. - I'm cute. 448 00:24:43,811 --> 00:24:46,078 - Oh, you are cute. Mm. - Look, I'm cute again here. 449 00:24:46,113 --> 00:24:48,447 - Look! You're not looking. - You look beautiful. 450 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,261 You gonna take the Jitney out this morning or no? 451 00:24:50,285 --> 00:24:52,049 - Or you wanna come with me after work? - Mm, no, I'll meet you there. 452 00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:54,103 - I have a little thingy. - Yeah? Mm. 453 00:24:54,221 --> 00:24:55,988 - Mwah. - Okay. 454 00:24:56,023 --> 00:24:57,256 All right, I gotta go. 455 00:24:57,291 --> 00:24:58,957 - Okay, bye. - I love you. I love you. 456 00:24:58,993 --> 00:25:00,462 Mm... 457 00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:01,994 - Mwah. - You're stupid. 458 00:25:02,019 --> 00:25:03,929 Yes, I am. 459 00:25:04,292 --> 00:25:05,858 - Bye. - Bye. 460 00:25:26,022 --> 00:25:27,842 - Look what we did. - No. 461 00:25:27,881 --> 00:25:30,316 No kitties. Well then let's try this again. 462 00:25:49,775 --> 00:25:52,309 Oh, my God, thank you so much. 463 00:25:53,659 --> 00:25:55,679 You hold it, press it. 464 00:25:56,495 --> 00:25:57,514 There you go. 465 00:25:57,550 --> 00:25:59,440 And now do auto set. Boop. 466 00:26:02,330 --> 00:26:05,079 Look at that. 467 00:26:05,123 --> 00:26:06,849 Look. I got it open. 468 00:26:06,874 --> 00:26:10,026 I know. Look what you did. 469 00:26:10,062 --> 00:26:12,595 - Oh, no. - And I got this. 470 00:26:12,630 --> 00:26:14,270 You sure did. Hey, can you back up please? 471 00:26:14,299 --> 00:26:17,266 - Thank you. - I can't believe that I got it. 472 00:26:17,301 --> 00:26:19,935 - You did. - How did it do that? 473 00:26:19,971 --> 00:26:21,437 I don't know. 474 00:26:21,473 --> 00:26:23,339 It could be one of the kitties. 475 00:26:24,342 --> 00:26:25,775 Did you open it? 476 00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:28,511 No, I didn't because I'm not in there. 477 00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:30,747 - You're not in the phone? - Yup. 478 00:27:50,539 --> 00:27:54,585 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.MY-SUBS.com 37154

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