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1
00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:49,986
Headquarters.
2
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,280
A what?
3
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:12,967
Come in here!
4
00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:35,072
How's that smoke? Good?
5
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,576
All right, here we go.
Full tight on the monster. Rolling.
6
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,163
Is me being pulled in
only that much to the table, it's fine?
7
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,957
Well, the main thing is
we need to hide your body more.
8
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,383
Wee man! Wee man!
9
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,595
Wee man! Wee man!
10
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,979
Fucking look! Wee man! Right there!
11
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,645
There! Fire!
12
00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:57,530
What?
13
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,620
Fire this way!
14
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,377
Fire! Shoot it!
15
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,906
Settle down, big fella!
16
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,950
This is all just a big misunderstanding.
17
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:29,038
We can work this out like pals. Settle!
18
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,477
Oh, no! Oh, no!
19
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,395
No, no, no!
20
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,744
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to jackass!
21
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:22,395
Hey, Steve-O, how does it feel
to be on the set twenty years later?
22
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,843
Man, it's...
23
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,806
It's pretty heavy, dude.
24
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:32,643
You think about how the last movie had
25
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,312
the credits which showed us
when we first started,
26
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,064
and it was ten years later.
27
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,525
And now it's another ten years.
28
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,360
I got to say I look great, though.
29
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,499
Oh, my god.
30
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,880
Poopies, that was really uncool.
31
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,632
Do you feel the vibration?
32
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:05,718
Wow.
33
00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,929
Hi, I'm Preston Lacy.
This is the human ramp.
34
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,227
That's David gravette.
Come on, we got to go.
35
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,813
Someone's being a little dramatic.
36
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,108
- Oh, my god, we got to go.
- Let's make it quick!
37
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,693
He's coming!
38
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,071
Brace yourselves.
39
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:29,158
Oh, my goodness.
40
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,666
- You all right?
- Yeah.
41
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,460
Wow.
42
00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,504
- You're not filming my bald spot, are you?
- No.
43
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:53,349
Goddamn it!
Is that why you put that camera...
44
00:07:58,062 --> 00:07:59,563
No more bald spot.
45
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,994
Fuck this.
I got to just get up and walk this off.
46
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,755
Backfire!
47
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,385
You look like the kool-aid man.
48
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,931
It's time to introduce Zach Holmes
and say goodbye to the human ramp.
49
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,641
Goodbye, human ramp!
50
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,229
We're gonna fucking die.
51
00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:52,574
Yes! Fuck, yes!
52
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,785
Oh, my god, yes!
53
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,209
That was awesome.
54
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,838
I don't think Preston's okay.
55
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,589
Look at this sucker.
56
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,177
Oh, my god.
57
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,387
Well done, Preston.
58
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,560
My name's Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to the dum dum game.
59
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:21,687
Oh! I'm sorry, dude.
60
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,272
Are you fucking kidding me?
61
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,817
My hand hit the button.
62
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,652
- Poopies...
- Oh, my god!
63
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,448
Fuck.
64
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,701
Dick pain hurts.
65
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,370
All right, let's play this game.
66
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:43,292
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to the dum dum game.
67
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,463
Our lucky contestants are going to be
answering trivia questions.
68
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,882
All these questions are
on a fourth-grade level.
69
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,468
If you get them right,
you're safe and in the clear.
70
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:53,761
If you get them wrong...
71
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,763
Oh, boy.
72
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:58,182
Last man standing is the winner.
73
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,310
Okay, first question. Poopies.
74
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:06,398
Jenny has 2 plates of 12 cookies.
Frank has 4 plates of 6 cookies.
75
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:07,816
Who has more cookies?
76
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,276
Jen.
77
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,320
Oh, Jesus Christ.
78
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:16,950
I can't do math!
79
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,416
I'll remember that
on my next question, poopies.
80
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,084
Yeah, thanks, Johnny.
81
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754
Oh, dude.
82
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,047
Okay, ehren.
83
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,674
Please spell the word "dumbbell."
84
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,843
Dumbbell.
85
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,012
D-u-m-b...
86
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:41,975
What is it?
87
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,645
D-u-m...
88
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,648
B-e-i-i?
89
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,486
Oh, god.
90
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:58,033
- Sorry, that was wrong.
- Don't be a dumbbell.
91
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,410
Poopies.
92
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,497
Who played the piano
on Elton John's album,
93
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,165
madman across the water?
94
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:11,964
What's his name?
95
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,050
Elton John.
96
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,427
Oh! That is correct!
97
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,805
That is correct, poopies.
98
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,558
I didn't think
you were gonna get that one.
99
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,687
At last, see, you're doing good.
Way to go.
100
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:27,771
Fuck, yeah!
101
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,189
Wee man, question:
102
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,776
What family of instruments
does the piano belong to?
103
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,033
Strings.
104
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,161
- It's a percussion instrument.
- I was gonna say that!
105
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,292
I'm sorry, wee man, but you're out.
106
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,211
- All right, good with me!
- That's integrity.
107
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,548
Poopies,
if you get this next question wrong,
108
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,300
ehren unfortunately wins.
109
00:11:56,925 --> 00:12:00,721
If a square is 5 inches tall
and 5 inches wide,
110
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,806
what is the area?
111
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,645
10 inches direct... around.
112
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,815
I'm sorry, poopies, but that is wrong.
113
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,367
Ehren, I'm sorry. I hit the wrong button.
114
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,705
But, poopies, that was wrong.
115
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,169
Fuck this shit. I'm out of here. Fuck it!
116
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,005
Ehren is the winner!
117
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,259
Ehren is the winner!
118
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,183
Tell him that we're filming.
119
00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,695
Yes! Oh, yes!
120
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,916
Oh, my god!
121
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,584
Yeah, that rang my be”.
122
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,878
I took a huge shit in there, too.
123
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:21,593
So today, we're gonna bring the cast
into this room two at a time,
124
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:24,137
because they think
I'm doing a rattlesnake stunt.
125
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,808
But that's just a ruse to get them in here
so we can lock the door,
126
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,894
turn out the lights
and make their life a living hell.
127
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,605
This is silence of the lambs.
128
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:37,693
Dave england, ehren mcghehey.
129
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,861
We have Jules here.
130
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,947
- Jules? The snake guy?
- I'm out. See you.
131
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,992
Come on, ehren.
You guys are just peanut gallery for this.
132
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,594
He's got
a western diamondback rattlesnake.
133
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,012
He's gonna release it on the ground.
134
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,497
Pontius is gonna take a cookie
and set it on its head.
135
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:54,793
And then I'm going to try
and take the cookie off its head.
136
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,837
This is a western diamondback rattlesnake.
137
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,630
It's very, very venomous.
138
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:01,842
He will bite you if you get too close,
and he will kill you or try to.
139
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,677
- I'm not kidding.
- So let's look at it.
140
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,722
- Oh, fuck!
- Oh, my god, dude.
141
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,098
Oh, shit.
142
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,767
- Look.
- Oh, my god.
143
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,477
Fuck this, brah.
144
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,314
Can you feel my heart?
145
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,567
Wow, dude!
146
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,112
It's going as fast as that rattlesnake.
147
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,949
I'm really scared for Johnny right now.
148
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,994
Let's put the snake away and get
these guys miked. It's time to do this.
149
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,871
They're huge! Those are big-ass snakes.
150
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,250
All right, switch the bucket.
Let's get the snake out of the room.
151
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,550
Is there an antidope here?
152
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,053
Hey, let's get Knoxville for me.
153
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,555
That is what it's called.
Antivenom, not antidope.
154
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,807
What's antidope mean? I don't even know.
155
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,268
- Johnny Knoxville!
- They're coming in right now.
156
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:54,978
What's antidope?
157
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,189
Um, that's like...
158
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,440
Oh, my fucking god.
159
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:03,111
- Goddamn.
- Oh, fuck you guys!
160
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,655
Why are we the only ones in here now?
161
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,199
I don't know, dude.
162
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,037
Doggone it!
163
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,663
- What?
- Shit.
164
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,333
Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to hell.
165
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,503
Oh, fuck. Fucking rattlesnake in here?
166
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,880
Ehren, what are you doing?
Don't use me as a human shield.
167
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,092
- So if we get bit, we die.
- Yeah. Oh, god!
168
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,593
Are you serious?
169
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,054
This is so fucked up.
I knew this was gonna happen.
170
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,473
Why the fuck did we go
down to the basement?
171
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,557
Come on.
172
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,312
Knox, what the fuck? Come on.
173
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:41,983
Come on.
174
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,194
What the fuck?
175
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,238
Dude, what the hell?
176
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,448
What the fuck?
I knew this was gonna happen!
177
00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:51,993
Stop! Oh! Fuck you guys, dude.
178
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,746
P, where are you?
179
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:59,292
- I'm gonna break that fucking door down.
- Do it, ehren.
180
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,924
Fuck this shit! Fuck you guys!
181
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,345
Fucking get the fuck out of here!
182
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,265
All right, knock over the bucket
and cue the snake sound.
183
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:16,977
Oh, shit.
184
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,564
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my god!
185
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,900
Hey, guys, stay on the couch.
The fucking snake.
186
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,946
Stay still.
Guys, honestly, be fucking chill.
187
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:31,449
This is not cool, seriously.
Get me the fuck out of here.
188
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,035
Fuck off!
189
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,704
There's a snake, Dave.
190
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,123
Where are you, ehren? Ehren?
191
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,959
Ehren! What the fuck? Ehren!
192
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,462
- How am I supposed to even help you, Dave?
- I just need to know you're there.
193
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,549
Fuck this!
194
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,759
I got a weapon now, motherfuckers.
195
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,678
I got a weapon.
196
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,847
Don't hit me, ehren! Don't hit me.
197
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,515
You fucking...
198
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:58,935
Ehren, don't fucking not answer me.
They have night vision in here.
199
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:04,900
There's a door! Dave, over here! This way!
200
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,861
Yeah, right. Fuck that door.
There's something bad over there.
201
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,655
- No, I promise!
- No, you don't know shit.
202
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,076
There's a door.
I just opened it, I swear to god!
203
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,910
Oh, wow, how convenient.
204
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,079
Come this way.
I swear to god, I'm not lying.
205
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,624
- Fuck that door.
- You're on your own then, fucker!
206
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,672
Ehren!
207
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:32,594
What the fuck is going on?
208
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,096
I can't even fucking do it.
209
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,974
This is fucking scary.
Seriously, this is fucked up.
210
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,352
This is not cool, dude.
211
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,357
Fuck! What the fuck? His head!
Oh, my god, fuck!
212
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,484
Ow, fuck! Did I just get bit?
213
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,527
- Did you get bit?
- Yeah, by something.
214
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:50,612
What the fuck was that?
215
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,114
Fuck, Jeff! He got fucking bit! Turn on...
216
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,576
- Jeff, this is fucking unsafe.
- There's no lights!
217
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,536
Oh, my god, this is so fucked up.
218
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,915
You got snake bit. We got to get you
medical attention. Come here.
219
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,625
We got to get him to the medic.
220
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,627
I'm gonna have
a fucking heart attack, dude.
221
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,088
Okay, just go straight.
222
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,090
Okay.
223
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,717
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
224
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,261
Motherfucker!
225
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,764
I don't even know where my glasses are.
What the fuck?
226
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:20,976
Great. Fucking awesome.
227
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,189
What the fuck is this?
228
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:31,861
Holy shit!
229
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,780
Motherfucking...
230
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:39,953
- Oh, my god!
- Ow! Fucking bitch!
231
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:44,833
Lights on.
232
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,794
Zach, you all right? Holy shit!
233
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,672
I heard Zach, and it sounded
like he was getting murdered in here.
234
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:55,218
I thought this was the only way
to get out, so I just climbed over it.
235
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,678
And then it broke.
236
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,055
Let ehren out.
237
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,181
Let me out.
238
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,816
- Can I go outside now?
- No, we're done. We're done.
239
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,151
No, we're not.
240
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,279
The rest of my life
I'm gonna have nightmares, dude.
241
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,865
I want to go now. Open that fucking door.
242
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,701
- Go out that one. This one is locked.
- No. Fuck you!
243
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,579
I'll just start a new life in here.
244
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,082
I will fucking live here.
245
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:32,756
How's this look?
246
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,133
It's fucking lubed up.
247
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,635
- Are we sponsored by glide?
- Not yet.
248
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,114
Just say, "this is body surfing."
We don't need your names.
249
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,890
- I want to say my name!
- All right.
250
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:45,268
This is Zach, I'm Jasper,
and this is body surfing, motherfucker!
251
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,563
Surf 'em! Surf's up!
252
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,984
No, no, no!
253
00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:57,364
- Bye-bye, Jasper!
- Oh, shit, he's hauling ass.
254
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:02,994
The rocks hurt.
255
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:06,456
I'm poopies, big-time movie star...
256
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:11,211
And today, we're big-wave surfing.
257
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,214
Switch!
258
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,677
He got knocked off.
259
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,389
He has no arms.
260
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,724
You have no arms? Oh, that sucks.
261
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:28,978
And then came the heartbreaking news
that horses don't have arms.
262
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,484
I'm Eric manaka,
and this is the horse race.
263
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,698
- Put your hat on and go, man.
- My eyes!
264
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:44,077
Go! Run, run!
265
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,044
Oh, Eric. All back.
266
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,547
- You all right?
- Is he okay? He's not moving.
267
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,882
Well, he can't. His arms are trapped.
268
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,927
That fucking hurt.
269
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,472
Two, one, go!
270
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:06,933
- Oh, no, we're going the wrong way!
- No, you're not.
271
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,601
Oh, Jesus Christ.
272
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,439
Oh, my god!
273
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,824
Holy shit.
274
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:23,908
That was crazy.
275
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:31,624
Oh, my god. I'm not doing that again.
276
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,711
This guy's one badass dude right here.
277
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,921
- I love you, dude.
- That was sick.
278
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,674
You showed us how to surf.
279
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,637
Yeah, I don't look that good, man.
280
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,600
Oh, shit, that's crazy.
281
00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:50,894
All right, take off the lid.
282
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,313
Go ahead
and tap that right over the top of it.
283
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,524
Ow! One got me already.
284
00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:01,196
Gosh damn.
285
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,781
Here comes the queen...
286
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,243
Looking for her king.
287
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,829
Jesus Christ, dude, this is fucking...
288
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:12,540
I was like, "yeah, cool, let's do this!"
289
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:18,129
This little brown box
has the queen bee in it.
290
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:20,465
Apparently, she's pretty important.
291
00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:24,344
And that's going to attract the other bees
to the queen, right?
292
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:25,803
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.
293
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,640
There's a lot of bees, Steve-O.
294
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:32,602
Just remember, don't pinch
between his balls and his Booty
295
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,395
because he'll feel it real quick.
296
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,397
Poopie, relax. Poopie, relax, dawg.
297
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,150
Poopies just got stung.
298
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,403
Do we add all the bees
or is it better to go...
299
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,822
You got to kind of gently put 'em up.
300
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,575
- Move your hand, Steve-O.
- Tilt it.
301
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:48,660
Oh, shit.
302
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,455
What? What?
303
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:54,999
God, my fucking dick got one!
304
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,675
Put them right up there on top of it.
305
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:09,055
They're really latching on now, Steve-O.
306
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:11,349
- It's working, yeah.
- It's going good.
307
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:13,268
It's really going good.
308
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,895
Oh, boy, they are really...
309
00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:17,146
Oh, goddamn it.
310
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:20,942
Give them a little bridge?
311
00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:23,987
There you go. Find your mommy.
312
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,531
There's a lot of 'em
right in the taint area.
313
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:33,079
Your whole zen approach to staying calm
is really working, Steve-O.
314
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:34,914
That yoga's really been helping.
315
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:37,125
Yeah, I'm meditating.
316
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:40,086
Around the table.
317
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,005
It's gonna make you look good, Steve-O.
318
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,258
Yeah, it is adding length.
It's kind of like Mr. Snuffleupagus.
319
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:53,308
Are you good, 0, or what?
320
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,729
It moves when you move!
321
00:23:59,147 --> 00:24:02,358
Just wiggle it, just wiggle it. Wiggle!
322
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:04,235
The best thing to do is take off running.
323
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,487
- Take off, Steve-O, go!
- Just take off running.
324
00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:07,822
Run, Steve-O!
325
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:10,116
That's the only way
the bees won't sting you.
326
00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:18,541
I got a fucking ball sack full
of bee stingers too.
327
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:22,003
Yeah, I got a fucking bunch of 'em.
328
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:31,137
Hello, my name is Irving zisman.
329
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,264
This is my good-for-nothing granddaughter
330
00:24:33,348 --> 00:24:36,601
and our not-so-handy handyman, Zach.
331
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:39,228
Today, we're going to
do a little furniture shopping.
332
00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:48,237
Hey, do you guys think this looks straight
or is it sort of...
333
00:24:48,446 --> 00:24:49,530
I just think if it was...
334
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:53,493
If you would hang the top left side,
I could tell if it's straight or not.
335
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:54,577
Okay, for sure.
336
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,329
Is everything on sale?
337
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:59,349
Right now, I'm just doing the pillows.
They're half price today.
338
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:00,500
Oh, okay. Thank you, son.
339
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,627
But I'm sure everything
might be on sale today.
340
00:25:03,753 --> 00:25:04,754
Wow.
341
00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:07,465
What is this over here?
342
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,055
This is pretty good.
343
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:17,225
A fella could have
a pretty good time on this.
344
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,811
Hey, can you hand me the black tape?
345
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,153
My god.
346
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,072
What the hell happened?
347
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:34,826
Are you okay?
348
00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:37,620
I went up high as a moose's caboose!
349
00:25:38,621 --> 00:25:40,039
Oh, my god.
350
00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:43,334
- Did you do that?
- I'm so sorry.
351
00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:45,920
This is my second day on the job.
I fell off.
352
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:49,090
You trying to take advantage
of a defenseless old man?
353
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:51,676
Grandpa, are you okay?
354
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,094
I was attacked.
355
00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:56,389
He went higher than that roof.
He went all the way up in there.
356
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,808
- What?
- You see this thing right here?
357
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:00,893
Your grandfatherjust sat on it
and laid back.
358
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:05,815
And this guy fell down, and it knocked
your grandfather through the roof.
359
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,443
Jesus, he does this shit all the time.
360
00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:13,948
I'm Rob dyrdek,
and this is musical chair bags.
361
00:26:14,282 --> 00:26:18,244
Incredible fine young men.
New talent. War dogs.
362
00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:21,205
War dogs. New talent.
363
00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:24,041
One of them
is about to get blown sky-high.
364
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,961
The rest are gonna get really lucky
and just sit comfortably.
365
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:30,173
Our dj for the day is miss Rachel wolfson.
366
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,799
Wee man's going to space.
367
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:34,719
Shit.
368
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:36,512
Wee man, I'm sorry, man.
369
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,598
How many times do we get to play?
370
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,476
This is probably a oner.
371
00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:44,604
Shit!
372
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:53,362
- I'm loving the energy, fellas.
- Keep it up. Nice twirls.
373
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:55,323
The happiness.
374
00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:58,534
Oh, shit, get in it!
375
00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:03,956
And let's keep going.
376
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:09,545
Good one! Good shit.
377
00:27:13,883 --> 00:27:15,176
Find your chairs!
378
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:18,846
One more time!
379
00:27:19,764 --> 00:27:22,391
Yay! More fun!
380
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,229
What happened to the dancing?
381
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:27,688
Let's do it already!
382
00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:31,818
Wee man is not happy. He's not happy!
383
00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:35,029
- Wee man, come on!
- Get some spirit in it.
384
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:46,874
Holy fuck!
385
00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:51,379
- Oh, man.
- What happened to you?
386
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:55,591
I believe he shot up
and into the hole, man.
387
00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:59,136
Wee man flipped!
388
00:28:00,263 --> 00:28:01,889
How did you go backwards?
389
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,058
We have our champion.
390
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:09,230
- I landed on all that shit.
- Look at the safety precautions.
391
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:13,025
I thought we were supposed to
have pads on the tubes and the metal.
392
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,110
Forgot that detail.
393
00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:20,950
Once upon a time lived a father and son,
imprisoned on the island of crete.
394
00:28:21,534 --> 00:28:22,827
Tired of life in the joint,
395
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:25,663
the father had the son gather up
feathers lying around the cell
396
00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:26,831
and made them both wings.
397
00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:30,251
And they went off
to escape the isle of crete forever.
398
00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:34,463
But there was one thing they left out
of the ancient myth:
399
00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:35,548
The Cannon.
400
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:40,887
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the flight of icarus.
401
00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:45,057
And if you think we're wearing underpants
under these tunics,
402
00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:47,435
you're sadly mistaken, my friend.
403
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,022
A little something for you?
404
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:54,877
They should just point it straight up.
405
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:57,403
Either way it goes,
he'll land in this lake.
406
00:28:58,029 --> 00:29:00,489
How big of an angle is it gonna be?
407
00:29:00,573 --> 00:29:03,826
Oh, god, they're gonna make it bad.
408
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:05,995
Oh, they're doing it.
409
00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:09,665
- Oh, man, that's steep.
- Holy shit, Knox.
410
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:11,709
Inten,
411
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:17,089
nine, eight, seven, six, five,
412
00:29:17,173 --> 00:29:20,968
four, three, two, one!
413
00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:33,940
I felt like I got a 200-pound colonic
up my ass.
414
00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:40,780
You flew like an angel!
415
00:29:42,323 --> 00:29:45,076
Unfortunately,
young icarus got a little bit cocky,
416
00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:47,119
and, sure enough,
flew too close to the sun...
417
00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:49,246
And fell to his doom.
418
00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:07,932
- That was rad. Dude.
- There's blood on the elbows.
419
00:30:08,015 --> 00:30:10,977
Attaboy. You got it, man.
Fucking right on, dude.
420
00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,187
- The wrist okay?
- Yeah.
421
00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:14,355
Good job.
422
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,234
This is the quiet game.
423
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:22,321
The object of this game
is to remain completely silent.
424
00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:23,489
How was that?
425
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:27,576
Do we all understand the rules,
and we're not gonna make any noise?
426
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,080
All right. Well, let's get started.
427
00:30:31,372 --> 00:30:35,459
Rachel, your challenge in the quiet game
is to lick the electric lollipop.
428
00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:37,003
Are you ready?
429
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:54,895
Our first mime did really well.
430
00:30:56,147 --> 00:30:57,523
Way to go.
431
00:31:00,276 --> 00:31:03,154
The bar has been set.
It's gonna be hard to beat.
432
00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:07,950
For our next challenge,
our friend Jules here
433
00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:11,120
is going to help poopies kiss
this deadly viper.
434
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:15,416
- What kind of snake is it?
- It's a Texas rat snake.
435
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,711
Ooh, he's a feisty little bugger.
How you feeling, poopies?
436
00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:22,965
They venomous?
437
00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:28,846
We ready?
438
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,600
- Go, go, go.
- Go in for the kiss.
439
00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:34,810
Have to get in closer. Closer. Closer.
440
00:31:35,352 --> 00:31:38,189
Up and down, up and down. Up and down.
441
00:31:38,272 --> 00:31:40,274
You know, you don't... stay!
442
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:41,358
Give him a kiss.
443
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:44,195
- Move your head.
- Closer. Closer.
444
00:31:47,198 --> 00:31:50,701
- Oh, my god!
- You got another one. Go, go, go!
445
00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:53,662
We didn't get it.
Come on, poopies, you need to go again.
446
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:58,250
- One more. You got this.
- You can do it.
447
00:31:58,751 --> 00:32:01,462
Right there. Touch his tail.
Do it. Come on, man.
448
00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:05,216
Oh, my goodness.
449
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:06,467
A little kissy.
450
00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:12,723
Oh, my goodness!
451
00:32:13,933 --> 00:32:17,812
Rachel and poopies
laying down the gauntlet on Steve-O.
452
00:32:18,479 --> 00:32:19,563
I got to save you!
453
00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,653
I'm saving you!
454
00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:29,490
I got to save Jeff!
455
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:37,915
Oh, fuck!
456
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,417
I have one on me.
457
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,419
I couldn't get it out.
458
00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:48,509
So, confidence is very, very high
with our third contestant, Steve-O,
459
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,928
for the skateboard guillotine.
460
00:32:54,056 --> 00:32:56,725
Wow! He's talking smack.
461
00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:58,978
That's some mime shit-talking over there.
462
00:33:03,941 --> 00:33:04,984
All the way.
463
00:33:07,361 --> 00:33:08,487
All the way?
464
00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:15,452
He's bold.
465
00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:19,456
He's very cocky, this guy. All right.
466
00:33:19,957 --> 00:33:21,500
On three.
467
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:31,260
I forgot to be fucking quiet, dude.
468
00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:35,472
Well, we have our winners,
469
00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:37,391
and we have Steve-O.
470
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,734
Zackass!
He's a real wild, crazy guy
471
00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:50,529
he's a gnarly superstar zackass!
472
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:54,950
There's nothing he won't do
zackass!
473
00:33:55,034 --> 00:33:57,161
He 'ii jump in cactus for you
474
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,084
While we all stand and laugh
475
00:34:04,168 --> 00:34:05,502
go, go, Zach!
476
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:09,298
The jackass guys are getting old
we paid our dues
477
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,717
so we're handing the torch to you
478
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,469
zackass!
479
00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:14,678
All right.
480
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:18,599
Man, that was good.
481
00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:25,481
What are you going to be doing today?
482
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,107
Hit somebody in the nuts.
483
00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:32,029
Francis hits harder than
any heavyweight in the MMA.
484
00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:33,322
It's insane.
485
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:36,533
- Does ehren know this?
- No, I told ehren it was a lightweight.
486
00:34:37,743 --> 00:34:41,121
I didn't tell him it was a heavyweight.
Jeff and I forgot to mention that.
487
00:34:43,624 --> 00:34:44,917
All right, he's coming, guys.
488
00:34:48,170 --> 00:34:51,382
That's not a fucking lightweight!
What are you guys talking about?
489
00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:52,633
What? No.
490
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:54,134
What's going on here?
491
00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:55,803
You guys...
492
00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:00,933
Almost twenty years ago today,
we filmed the original cup test.
493
00:35:01,183 --> 00:35:03,686
I'm Johnny Knoxville.
This is the cup test.
494
00:35:09,024 --> 00:35:13,404
And now twenty years later,
we're still doing the same stupid shit.
495
00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:15,823
This is the cup test.
496
00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:21,870
I love how you're smiling at him too.
497
00:35:25,082 --> 00:35:28,460
I just googled
"the hardest punch ever recorded."
498
00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:30,879
"Francis ngannou's punch is the equivalent
499
00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:34,008
of being hit by a Ford escort
at top speed."
500
00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:36,302
"His punch is the equivalent of..."
501
00:35:36,385 --> 00:35:38,679
Wait. You don't need to read that now.
502
00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:44,393
You're about to be hit by a car, ehren!
503
00:35:45,602 --> 00:35:47,730
- All right, fight fans.
- All right, we're ready.
504
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:59,491
- Did you hear something break?
- Yeah.
505
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,369
I heard this, like, crack.
506
00:36:03,037 --> 00:36:04,788
I thought it was the cup.
507
00:36:04,872 --> 00:36:07,666
Is that the hardest
you've ever hit someone in the ding-ding?
508
00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:08,917
Oh, yeah.
509
00:36:09,918 --> 00:36:13,255
Because I never hit somebody
in the ding-ding on purpose.
510
00:36:14,256 --> 00:36:15,674
Eric, what's about to go down here?
511
00:36:16,592 --> 00:36:20,596
Ehren's gonna get
the world's fastest softball pitcher.
512
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:22,806
She's gonna pitch a softball at his balls.
513
00:36:27,186 --> 00:36:29,730
We ain't a fucking bunch
of NASA scientists over here.
514
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,192
This ain't a mensa convention.
We're getting down and dirty.
515
00:36:33,275 --> 00:36:35,903
I'm danger ehren,
and this is the softball test.
516
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:38,572
Play ball!
517
00:36:41,158 --> 00:36:43,077
She can't wait to hit him in the nuts.
518
00:36:48,749 --> 00:36:50,042
That was all thigh.
519
00:36:51,168 --> 00:36:54,671
- Don't turn! That would've hit him.
- You turned into it!
520
00:36:54,755 --> 00:36:57,216
- Wait, you can't quit already!
- Close your eyes.
521
00:36:58,300 --> 00:37:01,303
That would've hit you in the ding-ding
and you'd have been done for the day.
522
00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:02,805
It's a softball.
523
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:05,974
There's nothing soft
about this fucking ball, it's just bigger.
524
00:37:11,855 --> 00:37:14,066
She keeps hitting him
in the same exact spot.
525
00:37:14,650 --> 00:37:17,277
- You're moving, dude!
- Why'd you move?
526
00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:18,695
I don't know!
527
00:37:21,949 --> 00:37:23,325
Don't hang brains out the side.
528
00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:25,828
I'm not trying to,
but it keeps slipping around.
529
00:37:26,328 --> 00:37:28,664
You're wearing it backwards
or upside down.
530
00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:31,041
I don't need physics
from you guys right now.
531
00:37:31,125 --> 00:37:32,418
Physics!
532
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,425
Fuck yeah, let's go!
533
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:41,468
Bullseye!
534
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:47,266
Ehren.
535
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:49,643
What the fuck, dude?
536
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:51,770
No, no, time out!
537
00:37:51,854 --> 00:37:53,021
Hey, ehren!
538
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,691
No joke, you're fucked. You're done.
539
00:37:57,443 --> 00:38:00,404
I'm here with professional hockey player
p.K. Subban.
540
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:02,322
This is the hockey cup test.
541
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:06,243
All right. Yeah!
542
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,204
Come on.
543
00:38:24,094 --> 00:38:26,180
That was about 85 miles per hour.
544
00:38:26,263 --> 00:38:28,682
Holy shit, man!
That fucking knocked me out.
545
00:38:29,725 --> 00:38:32,060
What the fuck, man? That was insane!
546
00:38:32,561 --> 00:38:35,230
- Now I'm gonna go for your nuts.
- Oh, god.
547
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,192
Fuck you, ehren!
548
00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:53,832
We got him! That a boy.
549
00:38:58,337 --> 00:39:01,840
We got the whambulance coming for you
if you don't get to this next bit.
550
00:39:02,341 --> 00:39:04,134
I'll tell you right now,
551
00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:06,929
if the jokes continue,
I will stand up and walk away.
552
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,722
He's going to take his nuts and go home?
553
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:16,897
- Sneak up on it.
- Teasing. He's teasing.
554
00:39:17,940 --> 00:39:19,107
Not teasing!
555
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:23,862
Perfect.
556
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,365
Oh, my goodness.
557
00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:35,165
His nuts are bleeding. We got blood.
558
00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:37,125
I'm sorry, ehren.
559
00:39:37,376 --> 00:39:40,170
Fuck, this cup sucked!
560
00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:43,924
This is the worst cup of them all.
561
00:39:44,341 --> 00:39:46,843
I'm starting to think
those cups don't work, dude.
562
00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:50,847
That cup sucks.
563
00:39:50,931 --> 00:39:53,131
Yeah, it slipped down
and pinned your nut to the ground.
564
00:39:53,183 --> 00:39:55,394
Oh, my god!
565
00:39:56,270 --> 00:39:58,146
Fuck, dude.
566
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:01,108
Good job.
567
00:40:01,775 --> 00:40:04,319
Lance? How you doing, Lance?
568
00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:07,322
Dude, grab the camera.
569
00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:09,116
Let me have your camera, Lance.
570
00:40:12,953 --> 00:40:14,705
Can I get another mask?
571
00:40:14,788 --> 00:40:17,624
Can Lance get another mask, please?
572
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,963
Jeff, you got any predictions
who we might get today with this?
573
00:40:23,046 --> 00:40:27,467
I'm worried. We've been hitting the guys
pretty hard all week, so...
574
00:40:28,427 --> 00:40:30,470
Their nerves are pretty well shot.
575
00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:35,183
And if they do trust us
to go to the bathroom today...
576
00:40:37,227 --> 00:40:40,522
They're pretty less intelligent
than I thought.
577
00:40:40,606 --> 00:40:43,567
We're gonna build cobra Kai dojos
all over this valley.
578
00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:45,694
- Hell yeah, we are.
- I haven't seen it yet.
579
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,154
I'm gonna watch it.
580
00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:50,365
Wee man would totally be a cobra Kai.
581
00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:53,994
Miyagi's dojo is not even
worried about it. Cobra Kai rules.
582
00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:11,720
What happened?
583
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:13,555
I don't know, dude.
584
00:41:14,556 --> 00:41:17,601
- I was trying to take a shit.
- What did you do to our outhouse?
585
00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:20,896
Even with an outbreak,
you're still blowing people up.
586
00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:23,815
As if life's not hard enough.
587
00:41:27,611 --> 00:41:30,489
To fart or not to fart?
That is the question.
588
00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:32,574
Well, I hope to.
589
00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:36,244
Because we've been trying to get this bit
for 14 years.
590
00:41:36,787 --> 00:41:38,872
Trying to light a fart undennater.
591
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:41,041
Since jackass number two.
592
00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:45,253
- Get your fucking ass up there.
- Well, let me do it, man.
593
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,301
He's a loose Cannon.
594
00:41:52,469 --> 00:41:55,055
- Oh, god.
- I didn't mean to do that.
595
00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:56,807
Who didn't see that coming?
596
00:41:56,890 --> 00:42:02,771
I am very excited, because we are
lighting the first ever fart undennater.
597
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:06,441
And Tory belleci is here today
to help us achieve our dream.
598
00:42:06,608 --> 00:42:08,360
It's good to have dreams.
599
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:11,154
So, somebody is going to sit in the tank.
600
00:42:11,238 --> 00:42:14,658
And when they fart,
that glass dome is our fart catcher.
601
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:18,745
Inside there we have
a little bit of oxygen and a spark.
602
00:42:18,829 --> 00:42:21,665
So hopefully, once that methane gas
gets caught in there,
603
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:25,961
it'll ignite and we'll get
the undennater exploding fart.
604
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,046
Steve-O, are you ready to make history?
605
00:42:28,130 --> 00:42:30,215
I'm ready to get in there
and see what happens.
606
00:42:30,298 --> 00:42:33,427
Oh, my goodness, folks,
we're about to make history with Steve-O!
607
00:42:33,510 --> 00:42:37,180
Okay, make sure his feet look good.
608
00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:39,099
- You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
609
00:42:39,182 --> 00:42:41,435
- It's in there, man.
- Remember to give us a countdown.
610
00:42:41,518 --> 00:42:42,561
It's in there.
611
00:42:43,645 --> 00:42:45,647
"How was work today, honey?"
612
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,572
- I know I'm gonna get it.
- Just relax.
613
00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:56,116
We got a fart!
614
00:43:00,412 --> 00:43:01,955
That was a huge one.
615
00:43:02,038 --> 00:43:03,999
- They're perfect bombs.
- There are, like, ten.
616
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:06,585
There's not enough methane in his farts.
617
00:43:06,668 --> 00:43:08,920
The spark in that bowl
is going nonstop though.
618
00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:10,839
So we just need to catch enough farts.
619
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,716
Count us down when you got...
620
00:43:13,675 --> 00:43:14,885
The farts aren't igniting.
621
00:43:14,968 --> 00:43:17,220
- We need an open flame.
- Yeah, bring it in.
622
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:23,894
This won't hurt a bit.
623
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,153
Come on, o.
624
00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:37,449
- There's bubbles.
- There's bubbles. Catch it!
625
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:39,493
Yeah, get it! Catch it!
626
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:49,711
- It worked!
- Wait, was that it? Was that it?
627
00:43:49,795 --> 00:43:50,921
Yes!
628
00:43:51,004 --> 00:43:55,091
I'm not a fucking scientist, man,
but that sounded pretty sweet.
629
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:57,886
How did that explode?
630
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:00,472
The spark in the fart catcher exploded it.
631
00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:05,560
That fucking really rocked my balls,
dude, that's for sure.
632
00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:10,315
All right, jaws, you ready?
633
00:44:21,243 --> 00:44:22,244
Catch him!
634
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:25,413
Jesus Christ! What the fuck?
635
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:27,457
Dude, I was like, "catch him!"
636
00:44:30,544 --> 00:44:32,587
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, man.
637
00:44:33,547 --> 00:44:35,590
- Where were you?
- I was...
638
00:44:35,674 --> 00:44:38,802
- "Where were you?"
- You were supposed to catch him!
639
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:41,805
What's going on, Jasper?
640
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,598
Today we got my dad, dark shark, on set,
641
00:44:43,682 --> 00:44:45,493
and honestly,
I don't think he's gonna like it.
642
00:44:45,517 --> 00:44:46,518
Why not?
643
00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:50,480
You know my dad. Ex-convict,
ex-gangbanger. Doesn't fear anything.
644
00:44:50,564 --> 00:44:54,401
Except he kind of doesn't like bugs
or spiders, cats, dogs.
645
00:44:54,484 --> 00:44:56,486
Basically anything
that's not normal to the 'hood.
646
00:44:56,570 --> 00:44:59,364
So we're gonna fuck with him today,
and it should be good.
647
00:44:59,865 --> 00:45:04,202
This is dark shark, our newest star.
He's Jasper's dad.
648
00:45:04,286 --> 00:45:07,664
He's going to battle ehren
in the spider helmet.
649
00:45:07,747 --> 00:45:10,250
You look scareder than me,
and this is your shit!
650
00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:12,502
Shall we begin taping, fellas?
651
00:45:12,586 --> 00:45:15,797
I'ma fuck you up, man. You supposed to be
having my back, motherfucker.
652
00:45:15,881 --> 00:45:17,382
I got you a job, man.
653
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,468
Don't do it, I'm telling you.
I'm gonna flip this chair over.
654
00:45:20,552 --> 00:45:22,888
If I flip the chair over,
that thing gonna bite me?
655
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:25,557
- No.
- You got to be careful with the spider.
656
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,160
- You can't hurt the spider.
- I'm just worried about breathing.
657
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:30,312
I don't even like handcuffs on me no more.
658
00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:32,147
We're gonna leave the tape.
659
00:45:32,731 --> 00:45:34,065
You got it, dawg.
660
00:45:34,149 --> 00:45:36,276
All right, here we go, fellas.
661
00:45:37,569 --> 00:45:39,905
- How is that?
- Oh, shit. Hell no.
662
00:45:39,988 --> 00:45:42,782
By the way, the loser has to
take the bite from the spider.
663
00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:44,784
- What?
- Yeah.
664
00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:47,996
- Jules, can you bring in the spider?
- Love to.
665
00:45:48,538 --> 00:45:50,457
You got it, dark shark.
666
00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:52,834
This one's an absolute bastard.
667
00:45:52,918 --> 00:45:54,294
Oh, hell, nah.
668
00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:55,462
All right, let's go.
669
00:45:56,796 --> 00:45:58,965
On the count of three.
One, two, three, and...
670
00:45:59,049 --> 00:46:00,133
He's in.
671
00:46:04,137 --> 00:46:05,138
Blow! Blow! Blow!
672
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,891
Dark shark! Don't move, dark shark!
673
00:46:09,601 --> 00:46:11,019
Dark shark, stay down!
674
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,524
Oh, shit!
675
00:46:16,608 --> 00:46:19,653
Chi”! Chi”! Chi”!
676
00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:23,239
Yeah, you got it. You got it, man. Chill.
677
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:27,744
It's not gonna touch you. Chill.
678
00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:29,955
You're good, you're good.
679
00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:39,547
Dark shark, why you pulling on me?
680
00:46:39,631 --> 00:46:40,882
I think he passed out.
681
00:46:40,966 --> 00:46:43,051
Dark shark, let go of Jules.
682
00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:46,346
You got to let go. You got to sit down.
Calm down.
683
00:46:47,514 --> 00:46:49,140
Don't hurt the spider.
684
00:46:49,432 --> 00:46:51,518
If you let go of me,
I will get the spider out.
685
00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:53,520
- Who is that?
- That's Johnny.
686
00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,772
Hey, this way.
687
00:46:56,356 --> 00:46:59,067
Okay, I'm getting it.
I'm gonna pull him out.
688
00:47:00,110 --> 00:47:01,444
He's out, he's out.
689
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:02,612
He's out!
690
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:06,241
All right! We have our winner!
691
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:07,993
Dark shark!
692
00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:11,037
How the fuck is he gonna be the winner?
693
00:47:11,788 --> 00:47:13,957
- Get it off me.
- How is he the winner?
694
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,751
- Ehren has to take a bite from the spider.
- I didn't do anything!
695
00:47:16,835 --> 00:47:19,004
- This man was brave.
- Brave?
696
00:47:19,087 --> 00:47:22,549
- The spider went in his helmet!
- Greatjob, dark shark.
697
00:47:26,094 --> 00:47:28,096
Man, I was like...
It was either my life or you.
698
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,724
I was like, "fuck your life."
I was like, "man!"
699
00:47:30,807 --> 00:47:32,767
I'm tapped out and hear him still kicking.
700
00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:34,936
I'm like, "he dead.
I feel like grabbing his ass!"
701
00:47:35,020 --> 00:47:36,396
That little bastard.
702
00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:40,025
- So where should it bite him?
- Just do it on my arm. It's fine.
703
00:47:40,442 --> 00:47:42,152
Have it crawl onto my arm.
704
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,070
- Nipple!
- I just won't do it.
705
00:47:44,154 --> 00:47:45,905
I like nipple. Nipple.
706
00:47:46,865 --> 00:47:49,534
- Just do a boob.
- All right, fine.
707
00:47:50,577 --> 00:47:52,871
Nipple, no. Boob, sure.
708
00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:55,999
He's gonna bite him for real?
709
00:47:56,082 --> 00:47:57,167
Oh, my god.
710
00:47:57,250 --> 00:47:59,586
Oh, yeah.
Your man titties are looking dope.
711
00:48:00,253 --> 00:48:02,630
Oh, my god, look at his fangs!
712
00:48:02,714 --> 00:48:05,508
- I don't want to see the fangs.
- Make sure ehren sees the fangs.
713
00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:07,635
Whoa, wait a minute!
714
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,847
- No. Ehren lay down.
- Wait a minute.
715
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:13,433
- Look at the venom!
- I'll show you the venom.
716
00:48:13,516 --> 00:48:15,226
Oh, my god.
717
00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:17,270
Here, hold my hand, Steve-O.
718
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:19,814
- "Hold my hand, Steve-O."
- Hold his hand, Steve-O.
719
00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:20,940
Pierce that nipple.
720
00:48:21,024 --> 00:48:23,443
One, two, three.
721
00:48:23,526 --> 00:48:26,154
Oh, shit!
722
00:48:28,865 --> 00:48:30,408
Oh, shit!
723
00:48:31,326 --> 00:48:33,078
- Did it go in or no?
- Oh, yes.
724
00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:34,370
Yeah, it fucking went in.
725
00:48:34,454 --> 00:48:37,040
You went from a triple-a
to a b on this side.
726
00:48:37,332 --> 00:48:38,708
Yeah, ehren.
727
00:48:39,918 --> 00:48:40,919
Watch out, ehren!
728
00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:44,339
Oh, my god,
I thought it was the real thing.
729
00:48:44,422 --> 00:48:45,799
I'm done. I don't care.
730
00:48:46,424 --> 00:48:49,469
I'm out of here.
No more of this spider crap. I'm out.
731
00:48:57,435 --> 00:48:58,478
Excuse me, ma'am.
732
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:02,023
I need to get my basket
closer to this pole.
733
00:49:02,232 --> 00:49:04,442
- Do you think you could help me, ma'am?
- Sure.
734
00:49:04,526 --> 00:49:07,445
There's a red handle
at the back of this truck.
735
00:49:07,529 --> 00:49:09,614
It's more of a pinky orange.
736
00:49:09,697 --> 00:49:12,408
- This one?
- Yeah, pull back on it just a little.
737
00:49:12,492 --> 00:49:14,369
Wait, should I do reverse?
738
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,371
Yeah, do the reverse.
739
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:19,290
No, no! That was... no!
740
00:49:19,374 --> 00:49:20,792
Why did you hit the red one?
741
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:25,338
Help! Help me!
742
00:49:25,421 --> 00:49:26,923
Hit the lever! Hit the lever!
743
00:49:27,006 --> 00:49:28,216
The blue! The override!
744
00:49:28,299 --> 00:49:30,260
I don't know where the blue is!
745
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:32,929
Are you color-blind? Please help me!
746
00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:35,056
I'm trying to help you, sir!
747
00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:36,683
Just do the override, like it says.
748
00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:39,185
It doesn't say shit here!
749
00:49:39,269 --> 00:49:41,187
Pop to the right, then slide.
750
00:49:41,437 --> 00:49:43,273
Pop and slide!
751
00:49:45,275 --> 00:49:47,193
You just got me electrocuted!
752
00:49:47,277 --> 00:49:49,529
Oh! My ass!
753
00:49:49,612 --> 00:49:50,905
You forgot the slide.
754
00:49:50,989 --> 00:49:54,534
God! I don't want to touch anything
because I don't know what I'm doing.
755
00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:57,162
You got to touch something,
I got to get down from here!
756
00:49:57,245 --> 00:49:58,246
Which one?
757
00:49:58,329 --> 00:49:59,974
Well, don't hit the ones
you've been hitting
758
00:49:59,998 --> 00:50:01,958
because you've been hitting
the wrong ones!
759
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:05,461
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Well, clearly.
760
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:09,090
Have you seen dirty dancing?
761
00:50:10,758 --> 00:50:13,678
- The old one, you mean, with the chair?
- The only one.
762
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:16,806
- That's flashdance.
- Flashdance is what I'm thinking.
763
00:50:16,890 --> 00:50:20,101
Dirty dancing
with Jennifer grey and Patrick Swayze.
764
00:50:20,185 --> 00:50:23,479
And for the final dance,
she runs at Patrick Swayze,
765
00:50:23,563 --> 00:50:27,108
and he catches her
and he lifts her off the ground?
766
00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:29,527
- Can you do that with Preston?
- I think I could.
767
00:50:29,611 --> 00:50:32,947
Yeah, work it out a little bit.
I want more than just a big jump.
768
00:50:37,827 --> 00:50:40,288
- Oh, my god, I just shit my pants.
- Shut up.
769
00:50:40,872 --> 00:50:42,248
You're joking, right?
770
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,461
- Did you really?
- I just shit my pants.
771
00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,087
I just shit my fucking pants.
772
00:50:48,922 --> 00:50:51,007
- Yeah, he did.
- I just shit my pants.
773
00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:53,843
I fucking shit my pants! Oh, my god!
774
00:50:53,927 --> 00:50:56,554
- Why did you shit your pants?
- I didn't mean to.
775
00:50:57,096 --> 00:50:58,264
Oh, man.
776
00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:01,351
Technically, you just shit our pants.
777
00:51:01,434 --> 00:51:04,938
Well, I think the show must go on.
I don't see how it stops us.
778
00:51:07,023 --> 00:51:09,484
- It's so gross.
- Oh, dude.
779
00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:10,902
It's so fucking gross.
780
00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:12,654
Pants full of shit.
781
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,530
God, it smells.
782
00:51:15,698 --> 00:51:18,451
I should not have ate
Indian and Cuban food in the same day.
783
00:51:20,370 --> 00:51:22,455
We might be losing Lance again.
784
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:29,629
Oh, yuck!
785
00:51:32,882 --> 00:51:34,300
I'm a grown man.
786
00:51:34,926 --> 00:51:37,136
I'm 51 years old.
787
00:51:37,220 --> 00:51:38,888
Lance, we need a closer shot of it.
788
00:51:40,515 --> 00:51:41,599
Oh, yuck!
789
00:51:44,394 --> 00:51:46,771
Preston should've pooped
before he came to work today.
790
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:49,732
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
791
00:51:51,693 --> 00:51:52,694
Marker.
792
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:57,657
Hello, my name's Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the marching band.
793
00:52:00,702 --> 00:52:01,828
Ladies!
794
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:27,020
It happened so fast!
795
00:52:29,689 --> 00:52:31,190
Damn, I got a hard head.
796
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:35,361
- Oh, my god. You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
797
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:37,196
Oh, my god. He's bleeding.
798
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:38,614
My hairline is receding.
799
00:52:39,115 --> 00:52:40,408
Steve-O, you okay?
800
00:52:41,451 --> 00:52:42,994
You all right, Steve-O?
801
00:52:43,953 --> 00:52:45,121
Holy shit.
802
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:50,626
Man, that happened fast.
803
00:52:53,921 --> 00:52:56,341
All that practicing right out the window.
804
00:52:57,383 --> 00:53:00,845
I feel like I'm coming back to myself,
but I can't remember nothing.
805
00:53:01,971 --> 00:53:04,307
- I didn't wimp out, did I?
- No, you didn't.
806
00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:06,934
You still got those million-dollar teeth,
that's for sure.
807
00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:13,274
They're dropping like flies.
808
00:53:16,277 --> 00:53:18,613
I never know what to say
into Rick's camera.
809
00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:22,116
I'm just like, "uh-huh, man,
I'm on jackass. This is sick."
810
00:53:22,992 --> 00:53:26,871
I mean, I'm in the TV show
I used to watch, man.
811
00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:29,516
Everything I say is gonna end up
on the cutting room floor anyway,
812
00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:30,541
so it doesn't matter.
813
00:53:34,128 --> 00:53:35,797
- Hi, how you doing?
- Hi.
814
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,924
- Can I get a cold brew?
- Yeah, of course.
815
00:53:42,929 --> 00:53:45,306
- Do you mind if I get a photo?
- Sure.
816
00:53:45,390 --> 00:53:46,724
I'm a big fan.
817
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:59,946
You assholes! Fucking did it. God!
818
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:04,033
What did you guys do to Eric?
819
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:09,247
Everything was perfect.
I was like, "cold-brew coffee, all right!"
820
00:54:10,498 --> 00:54:11,791
"Yes, please."
821
00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:14,710
"A picture? Okay, yeah, sure."
822
00:54:40,820 --> 00:54:41,821
What happened?
823
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:44,824
What do you mean, what happened?
He just got his nuts beat up!
824
00:54:45,616 --> 00:54:47,076
His balls are in his tummy.
825
00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:50,455
Fuck, it hurts. Goddamn, it hurts!
826
00:54:50,997 --> 00:54:52,498
I think we got to go one more.
827
00:54:55,585 --> 00:54:56,586
Can you do one more?
828
00:54:56,669 --> 00:54:58,921
Jeff said he needs one more.
829
00:55:01,257 --> 00:55:03,593
Hey, wee man,
help him get through that hole.
830
00:55:04,886 --> 00:55:05,970
I'll guide.
831
00:55:06,471 --> 00:55:08,264
They're not hanging as low as they were.
832
00:55:08,347 --> 00:55:09,724
- Can you blame him?
- No.
833
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:11,184
I'm getting them right now.
834
00:55:11,267 --> 00:55:13,811
- Ehren "fluffer" mcghehey.
- Not too rough, ehren.
835
00:55:13,895 --> 00:55:15,980
Oh, my god!
836
00:55:17,273 --> 00:55:20,234
- Oh, fuck, it hurts.
- Hold on, get ready!
837
00:55:21,402 --> 00:55:22,445
Okay, there.
838
00:55:25,031 --> 00:55:26,240
Now we're primed.
839
00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:28,868
You fucker!
840
00:55:31,621 --> 00:55:33,247
We ready? Action.
841
00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:35,082
Everybody shut up!
842
00:55:35,708 --> 00:55:36,709
Boxer
843
00:55:41,714 --> 00:55:43,049
Oh, Preston.
844
00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:53,142
Here with Steve-O and our special
handsome guest-star, machine gun Kelly.
845
00:55:53,226 --> 00:55:57,230
This is the bicycle backhand,
and it's a competition.
846
00:55:57,313 --> 00:56:02,985
The faster you pedal your bike,
the faster the other guy's hand goes back.
847
00:56:03,069 --> 00:56:06,656
And when it gets to a certain point,
boom, someone's gonna get launched.
848
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:12,745
You might be younger, taller,
better looking, richer, more talented,
849
00:56:12,828 --> 00:56:14,956
but, motherfucker, I could ride!
850
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:17,833
Steve-O's just eat up with envy.
851
00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:23,172
Charlie, can you push that hand in
a little closer?
852
00:56:23,256 --> 00:56:25,508
Okay. I'm gonna push it toward a little.
853
00:56:27,552 --> 00:56:30,179
Shit! What the fuck?
854
00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:33,558
No one was even filming.
855
00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:39,564
It happened so fast!
856
00:56:43,150 --> 00:56:44,735
Oh, my god, dude.
857
00:56:47,196 --> 00:56:49,156
Dry off, Steve-O. It's coming again.
858
00:56:51,617 --> 00:56:53,703
Charlie just touched it, it went boom.
859
00:56:55,830 --> 00:56:57,873
And now Steve-O has to do it twice.
860
00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:00,543
- We ready?
- Yep.
861
00:57:01,335 --> 00:57:04,714
On your marks, get set, go!
862
00:57:05,965 --> 00:57:07,466
Pedal, pedal, pedal!
863
00:57:11,137 --> 00:57:14,599
Don't give up, don't give up.
Keep going! Keep going!
864
00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:26,027
- Steve-O's winning, right?
- I don't know.
865
00:57:26,110 --> 00:57:27,445
Head up!
866
00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:31,324
- Don't gas out, Steve-O!
- Steve-O, you got it!
867
00:57:36,245 --> 00:57:37,580
It's so cold.
868
00:57:40,416 --> 00:57:41,959
Bunny! Help him!
869
00:57:42,877 --> 00:57:46,547
The water's so fucking cold! You should've
saved me, motherfucker. Focus!
870
00:57:46,631 --> 00:57:47,840
I need a towel.
871
00:57:48,424 --> 00:57:50,593
Towels!
I totally forgot I was the lifeguard.
872
00:57:51,761 --> 00:57:55,139
Dude, it's so cold. That hurt so bad.
You got towels?
873
00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,308
He's in shock right now. Look at his face.
874
00:57:58,476 --> 00:58:00,519
I thought my hand was your hand.
875
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:06,692
Maybe I didn't explain it right.
876
00:58:06,776 --> 00:58:09,403
You said it wasn't gonna
feel like anything.
877
00:58:09,487 --> 00:58:11,447
What hurt worse,
the cold water or the hit?
878
00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:13,366
It was the hand, man. That was hard.
879
00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:17,036
I was in the water like, "oh, I'm dead."
880
00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:19,747
- That really worked.
- Yeah, you back-flipped.
881
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,125
How did you beat me?
882
00:58:23,209 --> 00:58:25,044
I don't know, dude. I don't know.
883
00:58:25,127 --> 00:58:28,798
I was coming off my pedals,
it was not my strongest performance.
884
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,216
Yours was really bad.
885
00:58:36,639 --> 00:58:37,807
I don't know what's worse,
886
00:58:37,890 --> 00:58:42,311
the wedgie or these
junkyard mattresses you got to land on.
887
00:58:42,770 --> 00:58:44,730
Look at that pee-stained one right there.
888
00:58:44,814 --> 00:58:46,148
Ew, dude.
889
00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:50,903
Who do you think's more afraid
of being at that height? Preston or Zach?
890
00:58:51,237 --> 00:58:54,240
- How are you with heights, Zach?
- I already hate this.
891
00:58:56,826 --> 00:58:59,829
I'm wee man,
and this is the triple wedgie.
892
00:59:01,789 --> 00:59:05,418
Three, two, one. Jump!
893
00:59:10,756 --> 00:59:11,757
Help!
894
00:59:13,759 --> 00:59:15,761
Okay, let me down!
895
00:59:16,345 --> 00:59:17,805
Jeff, let me down!
896
00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,724
Look at that! Come here, fellas!
897
00:59:22,351 --> 00:59:24,061
Ow! My nuts!
898
00:59:28,107 --> 00:59:29,483
Well, that went well.
899
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:33,654
Oh, god!
900
00:59:33,738 --> 00:59:35,781
A little angel hanging in the air.
901
00:59:39,744 --> 00:59:44,165
Hollywood has long put tremendous pressure
on women to look youthful and sexy.
902
00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:46,083
And sometimes the only way to do that
903
00:59:46,167 --> 00:59:48,461
is with a team
of medical professionals, and...
904
00:59:50,045 --> 00:59:51,255
Venomous insects.
905
00:59:52,757 --> 00:59:55,301
I'm Rachel, and this is scorpion Botox.
906
00:59:57,595 --> 01:00:01,474
This is actually my first time performing
this procedure, to be honest with you.
907
01:00:01,974 --> 01:00:03,809
Oh, my god. That stinger is huge.
908
01:00:05,311 --> 01:00:08,814
- Pontius, I'm trusting you with my lips.
- You can trust me, I'm a doctor.
909
01:00:10,608 --> 01:00:14,487
You want to just put him on my mouth
and then fuck with him?
910
01:00:15,654 --> 01:00:17,573
Touch her lip. There you go, man.
911
01:00:19,575 --> 01:00:21,577
Just relax and enjoy the procedure.
912
01:00:23,245 --> 01:00:25,289
- He's on.
- Oh, no.
913
01:00:29,418 --> 01:00:30,461
Oh, my god.
914
01:00:32,922 --> 01:00:34,924
- Boobjob!
- No, I don't want it on my boob!
915
01:00:35,007 --> 01:00:37,092
I can't take him off your boob
without permission.
916
01:00:37,176 --> 01:00:38,844
Permission!
917
01:00:38,928 --> 01:00:42,556
Consent. I'm giving you consent.
918
01:00:43,766 --> 01:00:45,726
21st century, people.
919
01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:48,229
All right, time to get stung in the face.
920
01:00:49,021 --> 01:00:50,356
This is intense.
921
01:00:53,776 --> 01:00:56,028
- Good job.
- He got it on my lip.
922
01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:57,613
You're ready for the red carpet.
923
01:00:59,031 --> 01:01:02,159
Oh, shit. He's angry.
924
01:01:02,743 --> 01:01:05,079
- Whoa, shit!
- Fucking gorgeous!
925
01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:06,539
Goddamn it, doctor.
926
01:01:11,043 --> 01:01:12,044
Nice.
927
01:01:12,127 --> 01:01:14,255
He definitely stung my chin.
928
01:01:14,338 --> 01:01:16,590
You came for lips
and left with a new chin.
929
01:01:16,966 --> 01:01:18,384
Do you feel sexier?
930
01:01:18,592 --> 01:01:20,553
I'm feeling sexier by the minute.
931
01:01:21,095 --> 01:01:23,264
- Do you have one more in you?
- Yeah, sure.
932
01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:24,640
Let's make it count.
933
01:01:25,224 --> 01:01:26,976
- He's coming.
- You got it, doc.
934
01:01:32,064 --> 01:01:34,483
Oh, my god. That hurt so fucking bad.
935
01:01:34,984 --> 01:01:36,527
That hurt so bad.
936
01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:39,446
It should. This is a very venomous insect.
937
01:01:40,155 --> 01:01:41,407
Oh, shit.
938
01:01:42,658 --> 01:01:45,578
Her lips are really swollen now.
That shit works.
939
01:01:45,661 --> 01:01:49,206
My lip is so fucked up, you guys.
I feel fucked up.
940
01:01:49,290 --> 01:01:50,708
But she looks great.
941
01:01:56,881 --> 01:01:58,299
Whoa, a VCR!
942
01:01:58,382 --> 01:01:59,925
- What?
- A VCR.
943
01:02:00,426 --> 01:02:03,888
Oh, that's a blast from the past, huh?
Dang!
944
01:02:07,433 --> 01:02:09,768
Ah, that'll work.
945
01:02:27,703 --> 01:02:28,704
Whoa!
946
01:02:30,831 --> 01:02:33,083
- What the hell?
- What the fuck?
947
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:34,710
What happened?
948
01:02:36,337 --> 01:02:39,214
Holy crap! I fell on my face.
949
01:02:39,298 --> 01:02:41,717
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay, I just don't understand.
950
01:02:42,009 --> 01:02:43,929
I don't understand
why you were using the toilet.
951
01:02:44,303 --> 01:02:46,096
How did you end up here?
952
01:02:46,639 --> 01:02:48,891
And you just took a shit
in this man's yard!
953
01:02:48,974 --> 01:02:50,059
I didn't take anything.
954
01:02:50,142 --> 01:02:52,561
- That was insane.
- What kind of person are you?
955
01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:58,817
We have every available fan
in Los Angeles on set today.
956
01:02:58,901 --> 01:03:00,945
The two in the middle go
100 miles an hour.
957
01:03:01,695 --> 01:03:05,991
I'm Jasper, and I'm about to
take this gold chair to the fucking moon.
958
01:03:28,180 --> 01:03:29,682
Oh, my god!
959
01:03:33,060 --> 01:03:34,436
And we have a winner!
960
01:03:35,813 --> 01:03:37,147
Fucking crazy!
961
01:03:37,690 --> 01:03:39,066
Look at his bare feet!
962
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:41,944
Oh, fuck. I want to go again!
963
01:03:44,363 --> 01:03:47,074
Now it's time
for some hot-shit waterskiing.
964
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:48,158
Brah!
965
01:04:00,921 --> 01:04:03,090
We need a medic! Medic!
966
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:08,887
- You lost.
- Shit!
967
01:04:08,971 --> 01:04:10,097
Fuck, dude.
968
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:11,390
Dude, poopies.
969
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:14,768
Poopies! Poopies!
970
01:04:17,521 --> 01:04:19,148
Yeah, poopies.
971
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,025
It worked!
972
01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:32,661
Shit! Dude!
973
01:04:37,166 --> 01:04:38,500
Quiet, please! Filming.
974
01:04:38,751 --> 01:04:42,796
Milk, milk, lemonade
turn the corner and fudge is made
975
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:47,009
stick your finger in the hole
now you've got a tootsie roll
976
01:04:48,093 --> 01:04:50,137
all right, quiet, please!
977
01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:54,767
Everybody quiet.
So he can sing "milk, milk, lemonade."
978
01:04:56,894 --> 01:04:58,937
"Okay, this is serious.
Everybody, shut up."
979
01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:01,440
All right, let's get some smoke.
980
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,281
Behold.
981
01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:11,909
Our twisted souls have come
to the garden of death
982
01:05:11,992 --> 01:05:13,452
to dine with the devil.
983
01:05:13,535 --> 01:05:17,831
It's time to sacrifice wee man's juicy ass
to the raptor from hell.
984
01:05:20,626 --> 01:05:21,627
Looking good!
985
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,588
Assume the position.
986
01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:27,091
Which way? This way?
987
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:30,886
Just have fun with it.
988
01:05:34,681 --> 01:05:37,267
- What do you have in there?
- Just me!
989
01:05:37,351 --> 01:05:39,311
- That's not just you.
- Go ahead!
990
01:05:40,354 --> 01:05:42,439
- Is that...
- Wait a minute, I'm not...
991
01:05:42,523 --> 01:05:43,524
That's him!
992
01:05:45,109 --> 01:05:48,570
When the beast awakens,
the monster arises.
993
01:05:51,031 --> 01:05:52,449
Touche.
994
01:05:52,533 --> 01:05:54,243
All right. Whoa, dude, whoa.
995
01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:57,121
Stuff it in his butt and let's go.
996
01:06:01,333 --> 01:06:04,670
Okay! There's enough meat there.
997
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:11,593
And a cherry on top.
998
01:06:15,139 --> 01:06:17,141
Let the unholy sacrament begin.
999
01:06:23,063 --> 01:06:24,064
Come.
1000
01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:29,194
Okay!
1001
01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:33,740
Oh, shit!
1002
01:06:34,908 --> 01:06:36,410
Feast on this cock.
1003
01:06:47,254 --> 01:06:49,840
Stop, man, stop. Don't do that.
1004
01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,634
As the blood rushes to the mast,
1005
01:06:52,718 --> 01:06:54,845
the beast awakens
from his ancient slumber.
1006
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,647
- He's bleeding.
- Fuck, come on!
1007
01:07:05,731 --> 01:07:07,316
The beast has drawn blood.
1008
01:07:07,399 --> 01:07:08,442
Jeff!
1009
01:07:09,610 --> 01:07:11,195
Jeff, can I get out?
1010
01:07:11,278 --> 01:07:12,321
In a second.
1011
01:07:12,404 --> 01:07:14,948
- Jeff.
- I would, but the bird's right here.
1012
01:07:15,490 --> 01:07:17,993
We're trying to get you untied,
but the bird's here.
1013
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:21,121
Before he returns to hell,
it's time for dessert.
1014
01:07:21,205 --> 01:07:22,372
Come on, let's go!
1015
01:07:26,001 --> 01:07:27,002
Fuck!
1016
01:07:27,085 --> 01:07:30,088
- Don't kick the bird, wee man.
- I didn't kick the bird!
1017
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:34,551
- Okay, let me out!
- Okay, let him out.
1018
01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:40,933
Let's not let this meat go to waste.
1019
01:07:41,016 --> 01:07:42,017
Dark shark?
1020
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,978
Hell, no.
I ain't going near none of that.
1021
01:07:45,062 --> 01:07:46,438
Hell, nah!
1022
01:07:47,231 --> 01:07:48,440
Look at that motherfucker.
1023
01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:50,776
Dark shark, just put it on your arm.
1024
01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:52,110
Hell, nah. You crazy?
1025
01:07:52,611 --> 01:07:54,446
- Yeah, dark shark.
- Come on!
1026
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:02,287
Dark shark! Dark shark! Dark shark!
1027
01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:05,666
Hold your arm straight so it can balance.
1028
01:08:05,749 --> 01:08:08,752
- Look at the camera.
- Look at Rick, right here.
1029
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:11,755
Don't move!
1030
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,340
Don't move. Just stay still.
1031
01:08:13,423 --> 01:08:16,843
- Ow, he's biting my arm!
- No, he's not. He's testing your arm.
1032
01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:18,053
He's too heavy!
1033
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:20,514
- Look at Rick, look at Rick!
- Get him off me!
1034
01:08:32,985 --> 01:08:36,113
Thank you. I feel that shit.
That mofo was trying to hurt me, man.
1035
01:08:37,823 --> 01:08:40,158
I'm kind of embarrassed right now.
It's like...
1036
01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:44,121
I came out of his penis, man.
It's like he acting...
1037
01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:47,624
Hood card taken away.
1038
01:08:50,961 --> 01:08:54,214
We have fifteen gallons of pig semen.
1039
01:08:54,756 --> 01:08:58,135
Turns out pigs produce
the most semen of any animal.
1040
01:08:58,218 --> 01:09:00,345
Up to seventeen ounces a load.
1041
01:09:01,555 --> 01:09:05,600
The guys are going to think they're
getting interviewed about the movie,
1042
01:09:05,934 --> 01:09:09,479
and while they're sitting there,
something may happen.
1043
01:09:12,316 --> 01:09:13,942
Even got his crust on top of it.
1044
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:18,363
Harvested gallons and gallons of this.
Does it smell like pig semen?
1045
01:09:18,447 --> 01:09:19,448
Does it smell?
1046
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:22,117
Why are you looking at me like that?
1047
01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:25,746
Oh, no!
1048
01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:29,583
It's semen, all right.
1049
01:09:33,045 --> 01:09:35,422
Why am I the one to puke? I don't puke.
1050
01:09:35,505 --> 01:09:38,175
- I just wanted you to smell it.
- I wanted to surprise you.
1051
01:09:38,550 --> 01:09:40,469
It's been a while
since I ate the horse semen,
1052
01:09:41,136 --> 01:09:42,804
but I think I prefer the pig.
1053
01:09:44,306 --> 01:09:46,016
Bacon's better than horsemeat, right?
1054
01:09:48,977 --> 01:09:52,189
I'm Tyler,
and this is the electric tap dance.
1055
01:09:52,731 --> 01:09:54,566
And while these beautiful men dance away,
1056
01:09:55,233 --> 01:09:57,069
I'm gonna give
my guy Johnny Knoxville a look,
1057
01:09:57,152 --> 01:09:59,321
and he's gonna put some pep in their step.
1058
01:10:00,155 --> 01:10:02,032
It's gonna shock the shit out of 'em.
1059
01:10:02,991 --> 01:10:05,702
And if you're wondering
if the curtains match the drapes,
1060
01:10:05,786 --> 01:10:09,164
let me tell you,
I tore those drapes out a long time ago.
1061
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,377
This is fucked.
1062
01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:30,060
That hurt like a motherfucker.
1063
01:10:30,143 --> 01:10:32,270
Shanna,
what the fuck is this on this seat?
1064
01:10:32,354 --> 01:10:35,023
What is this? What the fuck is that?
1065
01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:37,359
It is an electric piano.
1066
01:10:37,442 --> 01:10:40,529
- What is that?
- It's how this works. This goes into that.
1067
01:10:40,612 --> 01:10:42,280
In tune? It's a piano!
1068
01:10:43,115 --> 01:10:45,409
It's metal right here.
I'm not fucking stupid.
1069
01:10:45,534 --> 01:10:48,870
All right, let's go. Let's do it.
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
1070
01:11:08,682 --> 01:11:10,142
Ow! Shit!
1071
01:11:40,547 --> 01:11:42,466
I still feel it in my ass.
1072
01:11:42,549 --> 01:11:45,552
- Yeah, Tyler!
- Those shits hit hard, man.
1073
01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:48,138
How about a hand for our dancers?
1074
01:11:49,097 --> 01:11:50,807
Our showgirl!
1075
01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:54,936
And our choreographer, Michael Rooney!
1076
01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:57,606
And Jeff tremaine!
1077
01:12:01,276 --> 01:12:02,861
Jeff should sit on that.
1078
01:12:03,278 --> 01:12:05,280
Jeff, sit on that once, bro.
1079
01:12:05,864 --> 01:12:08,283
Who got the remote? I fucking hate Jeff.
1080
01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:12,245
Are you on it?
1081
01:12:15,248 --> 01:12:16,541
Fuck you, Jeff.
1082
01:12:19,294 --> 01:12:20,295
Yes!
1083
01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:24,674
Holy shit!
1084
01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:29,679
All right. Thanks, man.
We'll do this real fast.
1085
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:35,644
So weird to come from that to this.
I just got shocked so many times.
1086
01:12:35,727 --> 01:12:37,103
Are we rolling, guys?
1087
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:42,734
He's about to have five gallons
of pig cum dumped on him.
1088
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,237
Damn, that sounds like me in London.
1089
01:12:47,197 --> 01:12:48,532
Oh, my god.
1090
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:50,825
But how did he fucking fall for this?
1091
01:12:51,618 --> 01:12:52,911
We don't question it.
1092
01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:56,790
My favorite jackass stunt
of all time with me in it
1093
01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:58,291
is the firehose rodeo.
1094
01:12:58,583 --> 01:13:03,171
To be honest, I drank late into the night.
Woke up still drunk.
1095
01:13:05,549 --> 01:13:06,716
That's cum.
1096
01:13:15,976 --> 01:13:18,436
That's five gallons of pig cum!
1097
01:13:18,812 --> 01:13:20,981
You just got cummed on, dude!
1098
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:23,316
What is it?
1099
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:24,401
Pig cum.
1100
01:13:24,776 --> 01:13:25,860
Pig cum.
1101
01:13:28,738 --> 01:13:30,740
- That's pig cum?
- That's pig cum.
1102
01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:31,825
Five gallons.
1103
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:33,577
Honestly, how does it taste?
1104
01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:35,120
I'm a vegetarian!
1105
01:13:39,374 --> 01:13:41,835
Watch the replay! Watch this.
1106
01:13:41,918 --> 01:13:42,961
Oh, my god, dude.
1107
01:13:43,044 --> 01:13:45,171
Wait, wait. Watch his mouth.
1108
01:13:45,714 --> 01:13:46,881
Stay on his mouth.
1109
01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:49,426
Ready? And...
1110
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:56,057
- It went into his mouth.
- Right in his fucking mouth.
1111
01:13:56,141 --> 01:13:57,142
You look great.
1112
01:13:57,225 --> 01:13:59,102
I just said,
"why can't I wear my cool hat?"
1113
01:13:59,185 --> 01:14:00,353
Now I know why.
1114
01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:07,902
Oh, god!
1115
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,573
Oh, my god, dude.
1116
01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:15,952
So today,
ehren's gonna be wearing a shock collar,
1117
01:14:16,036 --> 01:14:18,997
and I'm going to
administer a lie detector test.
1118
01:14:19,539 --> 01:14:22,876
And if he's not truthful,
he's going to get stung.
1119
01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:27,130
Jesus, man!
1120
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:30,091
You don't have to feel that again
as long as you tell the truth.
1121
01:14:30,175 --> 01:14:32,010
Okay, but come on.
1122
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,136
All right.
1123
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,891
What is your name?
1124
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:39,517
Kenneth ehren mcghehey.
1125
01:14:40,727 --> 01:14:43,021
Okay. Next question, ehren.
1126
01:14:43,647 --> 01:14:46,399
Are you really allergic to bees?
1127
01:14:47,233 --> 01:14:48,443
Yes.
1128
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:52,072
Oh, boy. I think he told a porky.
1129
01:14:54,741 --> 01:14:58,286
I'm fucking allergic to bees, man!
I got tested by doctors!
1130
01:15:00,455 --> 01:15:01,456
Stop it!
1131
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:05,543
Just for a second.
Let me figure some things out real quick.
1132
01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:09,422
I got to get out of this thing somehow.
1133
01:15:09,506 --> 01:15:12,175
This'll keep you immune to the bees.
1134
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:15,095
Come on. Are you fucking kidding me?
Look, I am trapped
1135
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:17,013
and you're putting honey on me.
1136
01:15:17,097 --> 01:15:18,598
And salmon?
1137
01:15:19,307 --> 01:15:21,267
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
1138
01:15:21,351 --> 01:15:23,019
Ehren, please relax.
1139
01:15:24,145 --> 01:15:26,773
You're making this much worse on
yourself than it needs to be.
1140
01:15:26,981 --> 01:15:29,567
No, it's not much worse,
it is that worse! Please.
1141
01:15:30,068 --> 01:15:34,030
Now I'm stuck in a room.
Everyone's gonna leave. Lights out.
1142
01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:36,658
The fucking honey's in my eye!
1143
01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:39,119
Aw, shit.
1144
01:15:47,085 --> 01:15:48,378
Oh, my god.
1145
01:15:48,920 --> 01:15:51,923
- Look at his face. He can't believe this.
- No fucking way!
1146
01:15:52,006 --> 01:15:53,133
Look at his face!
1147
01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:55,427
Ehren, remain calm.
1148
01:16:04,853 --> 01:16:08,231
Talk to it, ehren. Try to calm it down.
Oh, no. It's going for the salmon.
1149
01:16:09,065 --> 01:16:10,066
Oh, no.
1150
01:16:10,150 --> 01:16:11,234
Hi, bear.
1151
01:16:11,943 --> 01:16:14,112
Are you really allergic to bees, ehren?
1152
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:21,286
You're telling a porky.
1153
01:16:21,369 --> 01:16:23,246
I didn't even get to answer.
1154
01:16:24,873 --> 01:16:26,624
No, no.
1155
01:16:32,005 --> 01:16:34,299
Ehren, don't make any sudden movements.
1156
01:16:40,972 --> 01:16:44,809
There's nothing more in there.
There's nothing more in there.
1157
01:16:44,893 --> 01:16:46,811
Mr. Bear, eat that dick.
1158
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:50,815
I'm ready to come out of this.
1159
01:16:53,443 --> 01:16:55,320
Fuck, dude, he tried to bite my hand!
1160
01:16:55,862 --> 01:16:59,783
He's trying to bite my hand!
He's trying to bite my hand!
1161
01:17:01,075 --> 01:17:02,911
I don't know what... oh, my god!
1162
01:17:03,578 --> 01:17:05,705
Oh, my god. Oh, god.
1163
01:17:06,247 --> 01:17:08,208
- Oh, he's really nibbling.
- Oh, god!
1164
01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:11,211
Oh, my god, he's going for my dick.
1165
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:12,337
I got to go in there.
1166
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:16,549
I really want to get out of here, man.
I'm serious.
1167
01:17:17,217 --> 01:17:18,259
Please?
1168
01:17:19,135 --> 01:17:20,345
Please!
1169
01:17:22,639 --> 01:17:24,015
Yeah, ehren!
1170
01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:28,978
Get him out of it.
1171
01:17:29,062 --> 01:17:30,396
I feel for you, bro.
1172
01:17:31,898 --> 01:17:33,900
You're good. You're done.
1173
01:17:34,484 --> 01:17:35,985
Is it actually over?
1174
01:17:39,239 --> 01:17:40,406
Yeah, buddy.
1175
01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:48,373
All right.
I think this is the perfect amount in it.
1176
01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:51,960
- Who's got it? I thought I had it.
- I've got it.
1177
01:17:52,043 --> 01:17:55,129
This is gnarly. This is a trip.
1178
01:17:55,630 --> 01:17:56,982
While you guys are tightening that,
1179
01:17:57,006 --> 01:17:59,884
I'm gonna have to hold the tip of it
just to keep it steady.
1180
01:18:01,052 --> 01:18:03,137
Ooh, it's starting to take a firm grip.
1181
01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:04,639
Look at it!
1182
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,767
This is some medieval shit.
1183
01:18:09,644 --> 01:18:11,896
- Thanks, bro.
- Got you, man.
1184
01:18:11,980 --> 01:18:13,022
It's tight, man.
1185
01:18:14,774 --> 01:18:15,859
That don't hurt?
1186
01:18:15,942 --> 01:18:19,362
That's the weird part,
it doesn't really hurt. Oh, my god.
1187
01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:22,240
Don't look now,
but it's flat as a pancake.
1188
01:18:22,323 --> 01:18:23,324
A lot of people ask,
1189
01:18:23,408 --> 01:18:25,743
"what will jackass be like
once we're older?"
1190
01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:27,871
Well, it'll get more mature.
1191
01:18:31,416 --> 01:18:35,420
Me and the homeys be googling weird shit,
but this would never pop in their head.
1192
01:18:35,712 --> 01:18:36,754
This is brand-new.
1193
01:18:37,338 --> 01:18:39,465
Yeah, you're for sure
never gonna be president.
1194
01:18:41,134 --> 01:18:42,677
You never know. I'd vote for him.
1195
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:54,939
Oh, my god!
1196
01:18:58,067 --> 01:18:59,611
Now we know what that's all about.
1197
01:19:04,407 --> 01:19:07,118
So, here we are back at the bull ring.
1198
01:19:07,952 --> 01:19:12,790
Even at a time when I wanted to die,
iwouldn't get in the bull ring. You know?
1199
01:19:12,874 --> 01:19:16,669
When life was its least valuable,
I would have no part in this bullshit.
1200
01:19:16,753 --> 01:19:18,296
And it's my least favorite thing.
1201
01:19:18,379 --> 01:19:22,091
The movie's going so well.
Why the fuck are we doing this?
1202
01:19:26,471 --> 01:19:27,764
Fucking violent.
1203
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,933
God, dude.
1204
01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:31,893
I don't think he's very happy.
1205
01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:33,795
Have you been around bulls before?
1206
01:19:33,853 --> 01:19:37,315
I've never been around a bull
in my whole entire life. Not a real one.
1207
01:19:38,566 --> 01:19:41,069
Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
1208
01:19:43,655 --> 01:19:46,824
Hello, I am Johnny the magnificent.
1209
01:19:46,908 --> 01:19:51,996
Today I am going to wow you with
my supreme skills of prestidigitation.
1210
01:19:53,623 --> 01:19:54,832
Oh, fuck! Oh, god!
1211
01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:55,959
Oh, shit!
1212
01:20:01,923 --> 01:20:03,591
Oh, no. Oh, shit!
1213
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:18,731
Hey, j, talk to me. You okay?
1214
01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:22,694
You doing okay? Johnny?
1215
01:20:24,237 --> 01:20:27,115
- He's getting back, he's coming to.
- He's coming back, yeah.
1216
01:20:28,616 --> 01:20:31,244
That was a violent brawl.
One-sided, to be sure.
1217
01:20:34,539 --> 01:20:37,750
- Did we get it, Jeff?
- You got exactly what you wanted.
1218
01:20:37,834 --> 01:20:40,211
- Yeah, Knox.
- Oh, fuck.
1219
01:20:40,878 --> 01:20:43,673
- So what happened after it hit me?
- Dude, it's gnarly.
1220
01:20:44,382 --> 01:20:46,009
This is you. This is the bull.
1221
01:20:49,470 --> 01:20:53,224
He didn't mess around, dude.
He turned around and just nailed him.
1222
01:20:53,307 --> 01:20:55,143
- That was insane.
- Yeah, Knox.
1223
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:58,146
It's probably the biggest hit
you've ever taken.
1224
01:20:58,855 --> 01:21:00,356
And that's why he is the captain.
1225
01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:03,234
That bull didn't like fucking magic.
1226
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,738
Yeah, Knox! We love you!
1227
01:21:06,821 --> 01:21:07,822
Love you!
1228
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:09,907
Captain!
1229
01:21:13,411 --> 01:21:14,662
Hello, Lance.
1230
01:21:15,747 --> 01:21:17,457
- Why, hello there.
- How are you?
1231
01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:18,666
Good. What's new?
1232
01:21:19,125 --> 01:21:23,588
I got a broken wrist,
broken rib, concussion.
1233
01:21:23,671 --> 01:21:26,632
But I was supposed to pour
the milk in the hat,
1234
01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:30,386
and then put the hat back on,
and no milk come out.
1235
01:21:30,470 --> 01:21:31,471
Did milk come out?
1236
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:33,234
There is some milk on the trampling, yeah.
1237
01:21:33,264 --> 01:21:34,432
Aw, shit!
1238
01:21:37,143 --> 01:21:40,021
These guys are going to get
on that centrifuge back there,
1239
01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:42,356
drink as much milk as they can.
1240
01:21:42,440 --> 01:21:44,108
We're gonna see what happens.
1241
01:21:44,192 --> 01:21:45,735
This is the vomitron.
1242
01:21:47,153 --> 01:21:50,031
Yeah, dude, taste the rainbow!
1243
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:51,324
Good luck, guys.
1244
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:54,994
If this is a race
to see who vomits first...
1245
01:21:55,453 --> 01:21:56,788
I think I might have it.
1246
01:21:59,791 --> 01:22:02,085
Zach, aim your head down
when you throw up.
1247
01:22:02,752 --> 01:22:04,962
- It's coming right at me.
- Oh, god.
1248
01:22:05,630 --> 01:22:07,548
I can barely taste the pig cum in this.
1249
01:22:09,717 --> 01:22:10,718
Right?
1250
01:22:10,802 --> 01:22:12,637
All right, chug, chug.
1251
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:15,014
Oh, shit. Here we go.
1252
01:22:15,098 --> 01:22:17,350
- Fuck me.
- Just look at me, Eric.
1253
01:22:17,433 --> 01:22:19,435
- Pound that milk!
- Yeah, chug it!
1254
01:22:21,813 --> 01:22:24,398
Is he already puking? Jasper!
1255
01:22:24,482 --> 01:22:27,151
- I'm trying! I'm fucking trying!
- Drink that fucking milk!
1256
01:22:27,235 --> 01:22:29,529
Let's pick up the speed!
1257
01:22:29,987 --> 01:22:32,240
Ooh, it's picking up now!
1258
01:22:37,453 --> 01:22:39,372
God, what the fuck did you eat?
1259
01:22:40,164 --> 01:22:41,290
What did he eat?
1260
01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:44,502
Go, go, go.
1261
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:56,180
Oh, shit! What's happening now?
1262
01:22:56,264 --> 01:22:57,932
There's an army truck.
1263
01:22:58,933 --> 01:23:00,434
Holy shit!
1264
01:23:01,102 --> 01:23:04,272
I'm starting to pass out. I'm passing out.
1265
01:23:04,355 --> 01:23:05,982
Zach's passing out.
1266
01:23:07,859 --> 01:23:10,486
I can't drink the milk.
I'm going too fast.
1267
01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:14,282
Red Robin 3, this is big Hank 2.
1268
01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:17,034
I want the perimeter bombed, goddamn it!
1269
01:23:17,118 --> 01:23:19,745
Bomb them into the stone age, son!
1270
01:23:27,003 --> 01:23:29,672
Stop! Stop!
1271
01:23:31,090 --> 01:23:35,178
What the fuck?
1272
01:23:43,603 --> 01:23:44,812
Oh, no!
1273
01:23:45,688 --> 01:23:47,607
It's paintball time!
1274
01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:49,275
Fire!
1275
01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:56,574
Stop! Stop!
1276
01:23:57,617 --> 01:23:58,618
No more!
1277
01:23:59,577 --> 01:24:02,496
Fuck! I got shot in the fucking mouth!
1278
01:24:07,168 --> 01:24:08,169
Dave!
1279
01:24:08,252 --> 01:24:10,296
Dave, get on the stretcher!
1280
01:24:15,176 --> 01:24:16,719
Don't get me, asshole!
1281
01:24:28,105 --> 01:24:30,066
Someday this war's gonna end.
1282
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:37,198
I don't know how to get out!
1283
01:24:37,865 --> 01:24:39,742
Help me, Eric! Help me!
1284
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:47,250
I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning!
1285
01:25:17,405 --> 01:25:18,614
Fuck, Jeff!
1286
01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:21,450
Look at Dave's face!
1287
01:25:21,534 --> 01:25:24,495
Yeah, look at it! Oh, my god.
1288
01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:27,748
Fuck off! Fuck all the way off!
1289
01:25:27,832 --> 01:25:30,418
Dude, what the fuck?
1290
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:33,337
- I'm sorry, bro.
- That fucking hurt.
1291
01:25:34,380 --> 01:25:35,673
Get out there, get out there.
1292
01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:37,883
Poopies is hurt.
1293
01:25:37,967 --> 01:25:39,176
Are we done?
1294
01:25:39,260 --> 01:25:41,220
Let me see. Oh, my god!
1295
01:25:41,304 --> 01:25:43,931
Oh, my god! Damn!
1296
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:47,435
- My dick really hurts.
- He got shot in the dick.
1297
01:25:47,518 --> 01:25:48,936
That was fucked.
1298
01:25:51,230 --> 01:25:52,857
Oh, god. Look at that.
1299
01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:56,485
It's got to be over, dude,
I can't get any more hurt.
1300
01:25:56,694 --> 01:25:58,988
I think we're all the way finished.
We're through.
1301
01:25:59,196 --> 01:26:02,450
Stick a fork in it! We're done!
1302
01:26:05,703 --> 01:26:08,581
Ooh, is that your tooth, dude? Wow!
1303
01:26:09,457 --> 01:26:11,542
That's a wrap on the movie.
1304
01:26:42,990 --> 01:26:44,075
Oh, shit.
1305
01:26:44,158 --> 01:26:45,659
But you get hit in the nuts.
1306
01:26:47,203 --> 01:26:48,371
Oh, fuck.
1307
01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,208
- Did anyone even film that?
- He was.
1308
01:27:01,967 --> 01:27:05,846
This is the cup that we used
for p.K. To hit me in the dick,
1309
01:27:05,930 --> 01:27:07,306
and, apparently, it worked.
1310
01:27:10,226 --> 01:27:12,520
But there's a big, giant dent in it.
1311
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:19,902
Are you kidding me?
1312
01:27:20,611 --> 01:27:21,612
Flamingo.
1313
01:27:22,571 --> 01:27:24,532
Flamingo, pelican, hey!
1314
01:27:29,161 --> 01:27:30,162
That's awesome.
1315
01:27:30,788 --> 01:27:32,498
I didn't even know he could go that fast.
1316
01:27:37,128 --> 01:27:38,754
Oh, my god.
1317
01:27:40,005 --> 01:27:41,966
I got shot
with the elephant gun yesterday.
1318
01:27:42,508 --> 01:27:45,469
Yeah, parks! Good job, dude.
1319
01:27:46,011 --> 01:27:47,471
You launched!
1320
01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:49,306
That was crazy.
1321
01:27:50,266 --> 01:27:53,436
Fuck, yeah. You the main one that
was talking shit, motherfucker, do it!
1322
01:27:53,769 --> 01:27:55,187
That's a hot mama.
1323
01:27:55,563 --> 01:27:57,606
- Who's this?
- He's my offspring.
1324
01:27:57,982 --> 01:27:59,150
For real.
1325
01:27:59,233 --> 01:28:02,945
I've been watching jackass since I was,
like, twelve years old, ten years old.
1326
01:28:03,988 --> 01:28:05,948
But it's definitely a big impact on life.
1327
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:08,325
And guess what, we're here.
We're here, baby!
1328
01:28:08,742 --> 01:28:10,870
Poopies doesn't have
the biggest penis in the world.
1329
01:28:10,953 --> 01:28:12,413
Not the second biggest, either.
1330
01:28:13,831 --> 01:28:16,083
I think I have the smallest one
out of the whole group.
1331
01:28:16,500 --> 01:28:19,837
That was what I was most nervous about:
1332
01:28:20,754 --> 01:28:23,174
Showing it to the whole world.
1333
01:28:23,257 --> 01:28:25,509
But that's what we're here for.
1334
01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:34,143
My name's Irving zisman, and I'm a prick.
1335
01:28:36,270 --> 01:28:37,688
And that's the truth.
1336
01:28:39,190 --> 01:28:41,150
I kind of feel like partying right now.
1337
01:28:46,989 --> 01:28:48,282
Was that a prank?
1338
01:28:53,037 --> 01:28:54,580
You all ain't right, man.
1339
01:28:55,206 --> 01:28:57,374
That was beautiful!
1340
01:28:58,292 --> 01:28:59,752
I love you guys, man, for that.
1341
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,296
Did they put that goofy-ass beard
on in makeup?
1342
01:29:02,379 --> 01:29:05,883
You a hater. I knew you was gonna say
some fucked shit about my nice-ass beard.
1343
01:29:06,550 --> 01:29:07,676
Yeah, because if you...
1344
01:29:10,846 --> 01:29:15,017
Shit! Oh, my god! Holy fuck!
1345
01:29:19,313 --> 01:29:21,398
Oh, my god, dude.
1346
01:29:22,191 --> 01:29:23,567
Come on, Zach!
1347
01:29:27,154 --> 01:29:28,656
Ew, yuck!
1348
01:29:30,366 --> 01:29:33,035
Oh, my! You missed the bucket.
1349
01:29:35,037 --> 01:29:37,414
God. I'm in the weirdest position.
1350
01:29:38,374 --> 01:29:42,461
Let's get that camera ready with
the sixteen mil right down main street.
1351
01:29:42,878 --> 01:29:45,673
Literally, it's on main street.
1352
01:29:47,591 --> 01:29:49,009
- Hey, Rick.
- Hey.
1353
01:29:59,228 --> 01:30:00,604
I was trying to look stoked.
1354
01:30:04,149 --> 01:30:05,359
There it is!
1355
01:30:05,985 --> 01:30:09,363
- First time you got cummed on?
- Yeah, for sure.
1356
01:30:09,446 --> 01:30:10,489
Well, the second.
1357
01:30:15,286 --> 01:30:17,746
- I hit my head...
- Listen.
1358
01:30:17,871 --> 01:30:19,248
Did we get it?
1359
01:30:21,125 --> 01:30:23,294
- You just got to take it.
- Just got to go.
1360
01:30:23,377 --> 01:30:25,057
- Take it like a man, man.
- Gotta take it.
1361
01:30:31,385 --> 01:30:32,469
That was good.
1362
01:30:33,220 --> 01:30:35,055
Three, two, one!
1363
01:30:39,393 --> 01:30:42,396
Ow, my hand's burned.
Ow, my hand's burning!
1364
01:30:44,023 --> 01:30:45,482
Dave. You good, bro?
1365
01:30:45,566 --> 01:30:47,776
Yeah, I'll be all right. I am burned.
1366
01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:52,531
Stop! God! Fuck!
1367
01:31:02,124 --> 01:31:03,709
Can't have nothing nice, can I?
1368
01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:09,465
Make him an actual coffee, Stephanie.
Thank you.
1369
01:31:09,548 --> 01:31:10,758
Oh, dude.
1370
01:31:11,050 --> 01:31:12,468
Here, I made you another one.
1371
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:33,489
- That's actually not milkshake.
- All right.
1372
01:31:34,490 --> 01:31:36,033
Dude wanted to be just like me.
1373
01:31:37,284 --> 01:31:38,661
What, dude? That's sick.
1374
01:31:39,328 --> 01:31:41,705
Trailer moment. Don't move!
1375
01:31:46,752 --> 01:31:48,045
We ready?
1376
01:31:51,173 --> 01:31:52,257
He's ready.
1377
01:31:53,133 --> 01:31:54,843
So we're all ready to do this?
1378
01:31:55,344 --> 01:31:56,804
- We're ready.
- Everyone rolling?
1379
01:31:58,013 --> 01:31:59,890
Oh, no. Oh, no.
1380
01:32:06,105 --> 01:32:08,649
- Wow.
- That is legit right there.
1381
01:32:08,732 --> 01:32:09,775
Let me get in there.
1382
01:32:11,360 --> 01:32:13,237
I'm running around
in a g-string for a living.
1383
01:32:14,029 --> 01:32:15,909
Yeah,
you are making a living at that right now.
1384
01:32:16,240 --> 01:32:17,741
They look good on you, though.
1385
01:32:19,660 --> 01:32:22,955
I summon the sarcophilus satanicus...
1386
01:32:23,372 --> 01:32:27,251
To come and eat the flesh of the wallaby.
1387
01:32:27,751 --> 01:32:29,712
I can totally see through Steve-O's.
1388
01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,511
This is so gross, man.
1389
01:32:38,887 --> 01:32:40,639
Can we get one
with the finger in the mouth?
1390
01:32:44,101 --> 01:32:47,146
I'm gonna shit my pants
before we get to that fucking place.
1391
01:32:47,229 --> 01:32:49,440
I'm Dave england,
and I got to take a shit.
1392
01:32:54,236 --> 01:32:56,572
I hope you didn't take a shit
in that son of a bitch.
1393
01:32:56,655 --> 01:32:59,658
I took a huge coil in there,
and it stunk so bad!
1394
01:33:00,159 --> 01:33:02,619
Weren't you on 90210 not too long ago?
1395
01:33:10,836 --> 01:33:12,463
- Come here.
- Jump across.
1396
01:33:13,422 --> 01:33:16,592
Ow, fuck! Get it off! Get it off!
1397
01:33:17,176 --> 01:33:18,594
Hold the collar up so I can see it.
1398
01:33:22,514 --> 01:33:24,433
- Did I get you?
- Oh, no.
1399
01:33:24,808 --> 01:33:29,146
We're going to convince kosick
that this is a piece of audio equipment.
1400
01:33:29,563 --> 01:33:31,690
Unbeknownst to him, he's gonna be shocked.
1401
01:33:31,774 --> 01:33:34,026
- Yeah, it's a microphone.
- I don't hear nothing.
1402
01:33:45,621 --> 01:33:46,705
Hey, let's eat.
1403
01:33:46,914 --> 01:33:48,081
Who wants some?
1404
01:33:48,415 --> 01:33:49,458
Face your fears.
1405
01:33:51,794 --> 01:33:55,005
- He put his hands down! What a pussy.
- Don't look.
1406
01:33:56,507 --> 01:33:59,218
We'll just kick back.
He's not even gonna care, right?
1407
01:34:00,052 --> 01:34:01,136
Dude, dude!
1408
01:34:04,348 --> 01:34:06,600
Ow, ow! Dude, dude, chill.
1409
01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:08,185
Chill. Dude.
1410
01:34:08,894 --> 01:34:10,145
It's for the movie, man.
1411
01:34:10,979 --> 01:34:13,106
Russkie, he kicked your ass, dude.
1412
01:34:17,736 --> 01:34:19,029
How's raab not in this?
1413
01:34:19,112 --> 01:34:21,323
I'm the smart one.
I know what's gonna happen.
1414
01:34:21,615 --> 01:34:24,117
I'm raab himself,
and this is the bungee wedgie.
1415
01:34:40,300 --> 01:34:41,385
Stop it.
1416
01:34:45,389 --> 01:34:46,598
Ow, you got my nuts.
1417
01:34:47,724 --> 01:34:49,142
Oh, man, I'm stuck.
1418
01:35:08,078 --> 01:35:09,955
And cut.
97960
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