All language subtitles for The.Magic.Faraway.Tree.2026.1080p.WEB-DL.H264-CinemaCity-HI

NARRATOR: The magic
of childhood is always forgot.

But this is the story
of one who did not.

(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)

-(DOOR OPENING)
-(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

Morning. Er…

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

Evening. Hey.

Sorry. Er… (CHUCKLES)

I, erm, saved you
some pasta sauce.

WOMAN: Mm.

Mwah.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Whoa.

Whoa, are you okay?

What… What happened at work?

Did they cancel the fridge
you've been working on?

No, they approved it.

Well, that's great.

No, it isn't.

Why not? It's amazing.
I love this thing.

This knows me better
than I know myself.

Round about this time,
Timothy likes wine.

Doesn't know me that well.
(CHUCKLES)

No, it knows you because

they've put a camera
behind this panel here

to monitor people's eating
and drinking habits

-without their permission.
-No!

I told them it had to go,
but they refused.

So, I quit.

-Good for you. That's…
-No, it's not good.

(SIGHS) This is bad, Tim.

I don't… I don't think
this is bad.

The company wants
the flat back,

and the car. Everything.

We're homeless.

Okay, it's borderline bad.

I'm gonna have to tell Mum.

She's gonna be
so disappointed in me.

No one has any right
to be disappointed in you.

-Well, you should be.
-What?

I work and you look after
the kids. That's the deal.

Have you…
Have you met our kids lately?

-No devices at the table.
-(GUNS FIRING IN GAME)

Beth, come on.

-Dinner's ready, sweetie.
-(WHIMPERS)

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Put it
in the scratchel, please.

-The what?
-Oh, it's a screen satchel.

I made them myself.

-Out of oven gloves.
-BETH: Oven gloves?

You really need to get a job.

Beth is… (EXHALES)

I think she might be
an influencer.

Okay, tonight, I thought

we could play some games
together after dinner.

-Not real-life games?
-Yeah, real-life games.

I'm too old for games.

Okay. Well, how about
a little bit of dancing?

-We all hate dancing.
-(TIM SIGHS)

Okay. (IN ITALIAN ACCENT)
But, first,

we have a-spaghetti
à la Thompson.

Just like-a Mamma
used to make.

Your mum isn't even Italian.

Hey, I'm talking
about my way-back mamma.

(IN NORMAL ACCENT)
Joe's a cyborg.

-Guys, can we… (SIGHS)
-(VIDEO GAME STARTS)

Kill, kill, kill!

Come on, mind blast,
mind blast, mind blast!

TIM: And Fran,
I don't remember

the last time I heard
Sweet Frannie speak.

I just feel like

their childhood is just…

it's slipping away.
I feel like I'm failing them.

WOMAN: How did we end up here?

-If we hadn't had kids…
-No, don't… don't say that.

No, we could just run away

and we could just start
a new life.

Maybe we can all
just run away.

Mm.

-What are you doing?
-Would you like some wine?

Not now, Fridge! Ah!

(BLOWS)

The dream binder.

This is serious, Tim.

Polly, we need this.

And the kids need this.
This is…

(IN ITALIAN ACCENT)
the soluzione.

One of our dreams
from 15 years ago?

Si. Correct.

…zione.

Which one?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

-Oh, that dream.
-(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES NOSTALGICALLY)

(TRAIN CHUGGING)

(STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS)

BETH: The countryside?

Have you gone
completely insane?

-What about my friends?
-Will there be Wi-Fi?

Don't need it. Look,
I brought everyone books.

BOTH: Books?

Si.

BETH: I can't believe you let
him talk you into this, Mum.

This is the oppression
of the patriarchy right here.

POLLY: Beth,
your dad and I are

totally united on this. Okay?

BETH: Why don't we ask Grandma
for money?

No, no. We've decided

we're not gonna tell Grandma
about this right now.

Because she called Dad
a loser?

Your grandma thinks
that everyone's a loser.

Especially me.

This is a disaster.

It's gonna be tough,
but you're just gonna have

to trust us on this, okay?

But seriously,
will there be Wi-Fi?

-You know what? Give me that.
-No.

This is a big change.

It's true. You're right.

But I just have this feeling

that it might be
just kind of amazing.

There's this wood
where we're going,

and it's full of the most
beautiful big trees.

Great. Trees.

Literally the most
boring things in the world.

My 5G is going!

I only have 3G!

I've only got 2G.

What's less than two? One.

1G?

-A G? What even is that?
-Er, so sorry. Excuse me, sir.

-Any taxis around here?
-Nope.

POLLY: No, it's all right,
love. I've got it. Erm…

Now are there any taxis?

Nope.

POLLY: Oh.

So…

-TIM: Yeah.
-Okay.

We'll just walk. We'll walk.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

JOE: My legs feel funny.

They feel all achy.

Oh, yeah, that's, erm…

That's exercise, Joe.

Here, you grab…
grab an apricot,

and that's gonna boost
your energy.

-(GROANS IN DISGUST)
-No, no, no. It's good.

JOE: It tastes unhealthy.

TIM: If it tastes unhealthy,
it means it's healthy.

It's gonna add bulk
to your stool.

(CURIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(RUSTLING)

(RUSTLING)

POLLY: Fran! Goodness,
I thought we'd lost you.

Come on, darling. Catch up.

If we're poor now, how can we
even afford this place?

(PANTING) Oh. Well,
the farmer said

we can pay him
at the end of the summer.

During which time, we…

Grow tomatoes.

And there it is!
Your answer to everything.

TIM: The microclimate here,
Beth, it directly mirrors

this little town
in northern Italy

-where my family are…
-Not from.

We're gonna make
my pasta sauce,

we're gonna sell it.

And then we give the farmer
his £20,000,

and then the place is ours.

What kind of house
only costs £20,000?

(CACKLES ENTHUSIASTICALLY)

(CROWS CAWING)

A house that is not a house.

Wow, it really is just a barn.

-With huge potential.
-(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CREAKING)

TIM: Okay.

Wow.

It's good.

-POLLY: Oh.
-(BETH GASPS)

(GASPS) Mm. Ooh, look at this.

This is a cosy spot.

Cosy trailer.

-(BETH SCREAMING)
-(SCREAMS, YELPS) What?

-What? What?
-Is it a rat?

There's not even
any electricity!

-(SIGHS)
-Beth.

How am I supposed
to charge my phone?

(CHUCKLING) Look at this!

A landline. (BLOWS)

(COUGHS)
Trusty old steam phone.

-Doesn't work.
-JOE: I don't understand.

Have we gone back in time?

I'm gonna get
the electricity sorted.

-Okay?
-POLLY: Tim?

Yeah.

(SOFTLY) Is this the kitchen?

(UNDER BREATH) Yeah.

-I love the kitchen.
-I love it, too.

And the…
This is the dining area.

-POLLY: Mm-hmm.
-Yummy, yum-yum.

And then the sort of
living area over there.

-POLLY: Yeah.
-Why is there a tractor in it?

Good question, that, actually.

-(BANGING ON DOOR)
-(ALL SCREAM)

Oh, my God! Who's that?

Oh, it's okay.
It's just the farmer.

All right…
(SLURRING IN RURAL ACCENT)

-(SIGHS)
-Hi.

How you doing?
You must be Brian.

That's right. How's it…
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

-(LAUGHING) Yeah. Yeah.
-Right, now…

(IN RURAL ACCENT)
…you've got a set of duvets

and all that and bill and pap
and whatnot up in there,

get yourselves
some kip and that.

After that, it's all on you.

-Yeah.
-What did he just say?

No idea.

Hi. Erm, excuse me.

Oh, he's a little man,
in't he?

Hi, little one.
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Do… Do…
do you have any Wi-Fi?

-(TIM CHUCKLES)
-Huh?

Wi-Fi.

Wi-Fi?

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wi-Fi, 'course I got Wi-Fi.

-BETH: Oh, great.
-Me, I love Wi-Fi. (LAUGHS)

Oh, yeah, I get Wi-Fi.

-Oh, yeah, I'll get Wi-Fi.
-TIM: (LAUGHS) Okay, okay.

See? I told you, we're not
in the Dark Ages out here.

It's gonna be fine.

Here's Wi-Fi.

-(CLEARS THROAT)
-Hello.

-I'm Bella. Brian's wife-aye.
-Oh.

BELLA: Yeah,
we spoke on the phone.

-Yeah, Bella. Of course.
-Oh, Brian's wife… aye.

-(LAUGHS) Aye!
-Oh, I… Now I get it.

We'll leave youse to it.
Let you get yourselves

all cosy and that.

Oh. Just remember,
close your windows at night

and don't go in
that wood up top.

Why not?

Some folks say it's enchanted.

Strange creatures,
floaty lights,

weird noises.
The usual things.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I wouldn't
say that was very usual.

Why do you think
this place was so cheap, eh?

-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-(BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY)

Their faces!

-Taddy-bye-byes, like.
-Taddy-bye-bye.

-Bye.
-Night-night.

Don't let the bedbugs bite.

-(CHUCKLES)
-Which they will.

-Bye.
-POLLY: Right.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Weird locals, spooky wood,
tick and tick.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Yep.

(INSECTS CHIRPING)

(OWL HOOTS)

-(SOFT RUSTLING)
-(GUITAR PLAYING)

(BLOWING)

(COUGHS)

This is so cosy, isn't it?

I'm freezing.

I miss central heating.

(EXCLAIMING)

Ooh, I just thought
of something.

Is anyone else thinking
what I'm thinking?

It's the perfect time…

-for the family song.
-(WHIMPERS) No.

(LAUGHS) Feel free
to harmonise,

do the dance,
just follow your hearts, okay?

-Okay.
-(SIGHS)

♪ We're
a rootin'-tootin' family ♪

♪ Together we're a home ♪

I'm going to bed.

And I hope I never wake up.

♪ When you're
with your family ♪

I'm going to bed too.

♪ You're never alone ♪

♪ Oh, oh, we're together ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

I think this wood's wet, love.

I'm gonna take Fran to bed.

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

Come on.

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family ♪

♪ Song ♪

Oh. Right.

(DUSTING HANDS) Bedtime.

Still not talking much, eh?

You used to be
such a chatterbox

when you were little.
Do you remember?

Do you know that you always
used to give me my best ideas?

You did.

Funny little child's brain.

The most wonderful thing
on Earth.

Don't hide it away, darling.

Right.

(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)

(POLLY CHUCKLES)

(MIMICS KISSING)

Mwah!

Night-night.

I saw a fairy today.

Did you?

(WHISPERING)
I think Fran spoke to me.

What did she say?

"I saw a fairy today."

(GIGGLES)

(TIM SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)

-(INSECTS CHIRPING)
-(CURIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

-(WINDOW CREAKS LOUDLY)
-Oh!

Come on.

(SIGHS) I can't believe
I let you talk me into this!

-She's human!
-Yes, but she's a good human.

She's kind.
She gave me back my purse

and she deserves our thanks.

So we need to be kind to her.

Now, in you go.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Get the tiny little pixie

to go through
the tiny little gap!

And what's wrong with that?

It's size-ist! That's what!

I mean…

you're a fairy, mm?

Aren't fairies
supposed to be small

and fly about the place
like a little bird?

Well, Pixie, you know, that's
a sore point for me, so…

Oh. So I have to suffer?

And face the wrath
of Moonface?

Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, it's fine.

So you just didn't want
any of those pop cakes, then?

I like pop cakes.

Just this once, Silky.

In you go.

-Don't tell me what to do!
-Okay.

On the count of three,

you're going to jump,
all right?

-PIXIE: Ooh-hoo-hoo.
-Okay.

Three, two, one.

I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

I'm a little, you know…

Whoo! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

-Count to five. Less scary.
-Ooh.

-Five, four…
-Mm. Mm.

-…three, two…
-Ooh. (YELPS)

-(SCREAMING)
-Ooh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
(GROANS)

I can't believe you pushed me.

Time for business.

-You ready?
-(GRUNTS) Silky…

-(THUDS)
-(PIXIE GROANS)

Now, go.
You've got a job to do.

PIXIE: I want loads
of pop cakes for this.

(GRUNTS) Whoa, whoa!

(PANTING)

-Be careful. Easy does it.
-(PIXIE STRAINING)

-That's it. Easy.
-(GROANING)

A little further.

You're nearly there. Push it.

-(STRAINS, EXHALES)
-(SILKY GASPS)

(EXHALES CONTENTEDLY)

Whoa.

Oh. (GRUNTS)

(GASPS) Ooh, ooh!

Now look what's happened.

Great plan, Silky!

(GIGGLING)

How is this funny?

I'm not laughing!

Oh. (MUMBLING)
Oh, my God, it's…

(LAUGHING)

(COCKEREL CROWING)

-BETH: What's that noise?
-Ah, hey, Beth.

Oh, it's Roger.
Nature's alarm clock.

-Fine.
-(CLUCKING)

Snooze mode.

-Hey! Whoa! No!
-(COCKEREL CLUCKS)

That's not cool.
Not cool, Beth.

(SIGHS)

You all right, Rog?

(ROGER CROWING IN DISTANCE)

SILKY: Thank you
for giving my purse back.

Come and see us
for tea and cakes

at the Faraway Tree.

From your friend, Silky.

PS. Don't tell Moonface.

Bring a gift.

(RAPID THUDDING)

POLLY: Oh, good.
Frannie, you're up.

You can help me
with breakfast.

It's fried eggs,

but I just have to
figure out the oven.

(SIGHING) Okay.

-(SCREAMS)
-(CLUCKING)

There's a chicken on it.

Why is there a chicken on it?

Shoo, chicken.

Shoo, shoo. Shoo, shoo.
Breakfast might just be

a little bit delayed,
sweetheart.

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

Whoa. Hey. Hey, hey.

Hi. Whoa, that's too much.

You said you wanted
a load of manure.

I did. As in "some" manure.
Not a truckload.

BRIAN:
What's he blathering on about?

BELLA: I don't know, do I?

-You all right, Frannie?
-BELLA: Go on.

-Oh, yeah.
-(BRIAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

How big was this horse?

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

SILKY: First, enter the wood.

Then, cross the stream.

Go under the tree.

Oh, ignore the signs.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC CONTINUES)

Enter the clearing
and you'll see it.

The Magic Faraway Tree.

(FAINT INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

SILKY: Now close your eyes
and say,

"I believe in magic"
three times.

I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

(MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(TREE CREAKING)

(CURIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Wow.

Whoa!

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

I'm calm.
I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm calm. Mm.

-(SCREAMING)
-(GASPS)

-Er, sorry to bother you.
-(PIXIE SCREAMING)

Go away and never come back!

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTS)

Whoa.

(LIGHT METALLIC HUM)

Moonface?

Of course I told Watzisname

not to eat
the bang-bang mustard,

and now he's
awfully uncomfortable.

(PANS CLANKING)

-Shame, really.
-(BOTH GASP)

Good gracious!

I mean… er, a thief!
Intruder!

(PANTS) Saucepan Man,
go get help.

-(PANTS) Who…
-(CLANKING)

Who are you?

What do you want?

-Erm… I…
-(CLANKING)

-What's that?
-You said, "Go get kelp."

I said go get help for me!

(GRUNTS, SPUTTERS)
What are you doing?

You said,
"Throw some kelp at me."

-MOONFACE: Gah!
-Goodness me.

What is all this caterwauling?

I came in to find
this tiny little human

with her grubby little fingers
all over my precious things.

Hello. I'm Silky.

So called
for my silky golden hair.

What's your name, little one?

Er, Francesca.

Fran for short.

Oh.

See, she's not a stranger.

This is
Francesca Franfershort.

But she… But she's a human!

Humans are expressly forbidden

from entering
the Enchanted Wood!

Yes, but she's brought a gift.

And humans are allowed

into the Enchanted Wood
if they bring gifts.

We agreed that at the last

-general meeting, remember?
-What meeting?

-(CLANKS)
-Hmm?

The one that…
that you missed.

Show him the gift,
Franfershort.

Oh, it's in my bag.

-SAUCEPAN MAN: Hmm?
-Oh.

Oh, it's a…

Oh, it's one of these. Ah.

Well…

demonstrate the gift.

SAUCEPAN MAN: Mm.

(RAPID THUDDING)

-Huh.
-(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES) It seems like
a silly little thing.

SILKY: Oh.
SAUCEPAN MAN: Mm.

Well, well, well, I… I…

shall master this
pathetic device in seconds,

because I am the greatest
at all things.

-(CHUCKLING)
-Here we go.

(PANS CLANKING)

Shush your pans, Saucy!
You're putting me off!

Whoop. Just…
(CHUCKLES UNCERTAINLY)

See?

Oh. Oh. (MUTTERS)

(PANTS, GRUMBLES)

That's Moonface.

-Goodness gracious!
-I guessed that.

-MOONFACE: Silly thing!
-And this…

(GRUNTING)

This is Saucepan Man.

Saucy, this is Fran.

-Hello, Stan.
-Oh.

Er, he's a little
hard of hearing

on account of
all the saucepans.

Why doesn't he just
take them off?

Take them off?
Well, then I wouldn't be

Saucepan Man, would I?
Dumb-dumb.

Oh. Did you meet
the angry pixie downstairs?

Angry? (LAUGHS) I'm furious!

Don't worry about him.

Come on,
let's go meet the others.

(MOONFACE GRUNTING)

Come on, Moony.

You all live in this tree?

Yes. Can you imagine
a better place?

It's amazing.

Yeah, it's all right.

It's a bit better
than just all right.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

FEMALE: Incoming!

SILKY: Oh! Better stand aside.

That's Dame Washalot.

She empties her bucket around
this time of morning.

-Hello.
-Oh!

And this is Mr Watzisname.

Oh, I hate it
when I forget people's names.

Oh. No, no. He can't
remember his name.

It's true.
I used to know so much,

but now, nothing at all.

Still, happens to everyone,
I suppose.

Actually, it hasn't happened
to anyone else I know.

-(BELL DINGING)
-BOTH: Ooh!

That is a new land

arriving at the top
of the Faraway Tree.

Would you like to come
and have a look?

(EXHALES)

Have fun. Nice to meet you.

(MOONFACE GRUNTS)

-DAME WASHALOT: All right?
-And this is Dame Washalot.

Need anything washing,
sweetheart?

No. I'm okay, thanks.

Dame Washalot knows
everything there is to know

about the lands
at the top of the tree.

-Oh, stop it. (GIGGLES)
-SILKY: Ooh!

Shall we see
what's up there today?

DAME WASHALOT:
Ooh, that's a good idea.

Let's take a look.

(CHUCKLING)

It's the Land of Goodies
today!

Oh, you'll have a great time
up there, little one.

Nothing to fear at all.

Except you must leave
before the land turns!

Otherwise, you'll be stuck
there for good. You hear?

She does that a lot.

Oh, you'll have
so much fun. (GIGGLES)

Shall we go into launch mode?

What's launch mode?

Just you wait.

Launch mode goes
a little something like this.

-(UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)
-SAUCEPAN MAN: Let's go

SILKY: I love this one.

We can do it together.
Start like this.

And bigger, and twirl.

Let's go this way.

(UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES)

I love this one.

(MUFFLED UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

SAUCEPAN MAN: Here we go.

Yeah, go.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

-(MUSIC ENDS)
-(CURIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Wow.

(TUTTING)

Attention!

Welcome to
the Land of Goodies.

(GIGGLES)

Here, there's one rule
and one rule only.

Don't be greedy.

So I'm gonna let you guys
go and get a lot… Oh!

(WARBLING)

Everybody duck,
flying saucers.

(CHUCKLES)
I love flying saucers.

-POLICEMAN: Remember…
-(SILKY GASPS)

…there is no need for greed.

Fran, look!

(GIGGLES)

-Thank you. Cheers.
-POLICEMAN: Remember,

-no greed.
-(SIGHS) Jobsworth.

Right. Load me up.

-Don't be shy.
-FRAN: Mm!

Sour. Love it.

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
Look at them!

They are much bigger
than last year, aren't they?

(GASPS) Oh!

This is called a pop cake.

-Why is it called a pop cake?
-You'll see.

-(POPS)
-(GASPS)

(GASPS) What do you think?

-Mm! Mm!
-(SILKY GIGGLING)

-Mm.
-Beware! Decay! Beware!

-Decay!
-Crackpot.

-HELPER: Beware! Decay!
-Jog on.

Sugary, sugary fruit punch?

Don't mind if I do.

Yeah.

Hmm.

-(GRUNTS)
-(LAUGHTER)

(CLEARS THROAT, CHUCKLES)
Got quite a kick to it.

The most delicious
marshmallows

in all of the lands.

-What do you think?
-FRAN: Wow, my favourite.

SILKY: Let's have a look.

MOONFACE: Mm.
Nothing like marshmallows.

SAUCEPAN MAN: Right, go on.
Get the marshmallows.

MOONFACE: Absolutely.

-(CLUCKING)
-(ENGINE SPLUTTERING)

(POPS, BACKFIRES)

(ENGINE SPLUTTERING)

-What are you doing?
-Hey!

(HORN BLARING)

Oh, no, you know,

-getting the old…
-(CLANKS)

…the tracky going.
You know how it goes.

(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah,
gonna make this baby sing.

(EXPLODES, HISSES)

POLLY: Tim?
TIM: Yeah?

I'm thinking that I'm
gonna start applying for jobs.

-No, no, no, no, no, no.
-Yes.

TIM: I think the kids might be
getting into it.

My game just died.

What do I do now?

Go outside and play, Joe.

Mm, with what?

With other humans.

Play with your sisters.
Where's Beth?

Beth says this place
has triggered boredom trauma.

-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-TIM: I can't do it.

It's been a day, dude!

At least Fran's out there
having a good time.

Oh. Where is Fran?
I thought she was with you.

No, I thought
she was with you.

-No.
-Er…

Oh, I did see her.
She was, erm…

You don't think she would…

she would have gone
to the wood up top, do you?

The wood they said
not to go in?

Yeah, the haunted wood.

POLLY: Uh-oh.
TIM: Oh!

(TIM GROANS)

(FLYING SAUCERS WARBLING)

SAUCEPAN MAN: Just
flying saucers and no bananas.

But I like bananas more.

I'm on the lookout
for some flumps.

Hello. Have you got
any flumps?

Oh!

SAUCEPAN MAN: Oh,
thank you. Very good.

Thank you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(PANTS)

Oh. Careful, little one.

You won't be able
to carry that basket soon.

(LOUD RUMBLING)

-What's going on?
-The land's about to turn.

We need to get down
the hatch, quick!

SAUCEPAN MAN: Come on, Silky.
SILKY: Come along, Fran!

FRAN: But I haven't had
a marshmallow.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm stuck!

(TUTTING)

Very disappointing.

-"Be sensible," I said.
-(BREATHING HEAVILY)

-Let's start with your name.
-FRAN: I have to go!

The only place you're going

is to a greedy, greedy prison,
young lady.

-(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
-POLLY: Fran!

-Fran!
-TIM: Fran!

Frannie!

-Fran!
-Frannie!

-(RUMBLING)
-Oh. Oh.

-Where's the little one?
-We can't go back.

We'll get stuck. Leave her.

We can't leave her. Come on!

No one touch me flying saucer!

-Fran!
-Fran!

Fran? I see her!

I see her!

MOONFACE: Well,
it would be marshmallows.

SILKY: Oh, Fran!
POLICEMAN: Excuse me.

-FRAN: I'm stuck!
-Oh! Quick, help! She's stuck.

POLICEMAN:
You guys are aiding a felon!

You're all under arrest!
I need names!

We're hardly gonna give you
our names, Officer.

-Help us face, Moonface!
-Moonface, all right.

Oh, thanks a lot, Silky!

-Silky, gotcha!
-Come on, help!

All right!

POLICEMAN: So many

greedy, greedy prisoners
for greedy prison.

(STRAINS)

-(GRUNTS)
-POLICEMAN: Aha! You see?

You're all under ar…

-(CLANKS)
-(SCREAMING)

-Come on!
-FRAN: Nice shot,

-Saucepan Man.
-(WHIMPERS)

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Me google buns.

Oh! They're all right,
actually.

-(RUMBLING)
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

They're not gonna make it.

Come on!
Get out of the way! Move!

(CLAMOURING)

Get a flipping move on!

POLICEMAN:
You're under arrest.

-(HELPER SHOUTING IN PANIC)
-Shush!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Oi!

You'll be back,
and I'll be waiting,

you greedy greedies!

-How was it, then?
-It was amazing.

Well, you haven't seen
the best bit yet.

The slippery slip.

The what?

-(WHIMPERS SOFTLY)
-Worry not, little one.

There's absolutely nothing
to be afraid of.

You all right?

-Erm…
-Great.

ALL: Five, four, three,

-two…
-(SCREAMS)

-…one?
-Oh, Moony.

(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoa!

(SCREAMS)

Whoa!

(PANTS)

-Got it.
-Okay, great.

We gotta quickly
get a search party.

-Search party?
-Yeah. For your sister.

She's missing.
Remember your sister?

You used to care about her and
love her, and she's missing.

-It's partly your fault.
-My fault?

-Yeah.
-How is this my fault?

If you'd been playing with her
instead of

sitting in your room
and throwing shoes

-at chickens…
-Playing with her?

Do I look eight years old?

If anything,
this is your fault

for filling her head
with rubbish about some wood

being full of joy and wonder.

When can we get electricity?

-Joe, no!
-Ah! Just give me a minute.

You're both behaving like
a couple of spoiled brats!

Spoiled? Is it too much

-to ask for electricity?
-Yes, it is, actually!

Do you know where electricity
comes from, how it's made?

It comes from plugs,
doesn't it?

-Oh, Joe.
-Yeah, well, maybe if you'd

had a job as well as Mum,
then we wouldn't have had to

-move here in the first place!
-Beth!

-Why are you all arguing?
-(POLLY GASPS)

-Oh, Frannie!
-Fran!

TIM: Oh, darling!

-Oh, my God, I was so worried.
-Oh!

Where'd you go,
you silly billy? Huh?

I'm sorry.

-I lost track of time.
-Oh, it's okay.

-It's okay.
-No, no, no, it's not okay.

No, no, it's not okay.

Where have you been, Fran?

I was in the wood,
but it's not spooky at all.

It's enchanted and wonderful.
Just like you said, Dad.

I went up the Faraway Tree

and got stuck
in the Land of Goodies.

But the Saucepan Man and Silky
came to help.

And Moonface, even though
he doesn't like me.

-And she's gone totally mad.
-Hey, Beth.

I think I preferred
the non-talking Fran.

TIM: Shh!

Does no one believe me?

Yeah, we do.
Of course we do, darling.

But we're so glad that you
had a good time, sweetheart.

But the next time
that you want

to go to your enchanted wood,
you have to go

-with Joe and Beth. Okay?
-TIM: With Joe and Beth. Yeah.

-Okay?
-Okay.

It's so lovely
to hear your voice.

-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-TIM: Hmm.

Mm! Oh. (SIGHS)

(CLUCKING)

(WHISTLING)

Buongiorno.
Buongiorno, bambini!

Rise and shine.

It's a beautiful day
at Casa Thompson.

(WHISPERING)
Ciao. Ciao, bambini.

How we doing? Here we go.

Huh?

Oh, come on!

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHS)

-Say hello to running water.
-(LAUGHS)

I might have had an idea
for an irrigation system.

(BLOWS)

-This is the basic structure.
-Okay.

-Yeah, here?
-I think we need to put

the corners out, and then
we can measure it accurately.

There's one window,
there's two windows.

Yep, watch out for that thing.

-Okay.
-We did it.

BETH: Dear Grandma,

I know I'm not supposed to
tell you, but you should know.

We've become poor
and moved to the countryside.

Dad is making a fool
of himself as always.

TIM: Oh.

BETH: And his crazy plan
to grow tomatoes

is infecting the whole family.
Even Mum.

She's now actually
helping him.

I'm starting to worry she's
been completely brainwashed.

(YELPS, LAUGHS)

-Yeah!
-BETH: Joe has got

-severe withdrawal problems.
-(MIMICS SHOOTING)

Let's get the chest.
Stupid meg sword.

BETH: And Fran's senses
have gone completely.

Please come
to the Enchanted Wood.

BETH: I've tried making
friends with the local kids,

but the conversation
is far from riveting.

These are no ordinary wellies.

They have a Gore-Tex lining
for extra dryness.

Got any Gore-Tex wellies?

No.

Oh, Grandma, please rescue us.

You're the only one
who could end this insanity

and get us back
to the real world.

Best wishes.
Your granddaughter, Beth.

Er, you've also had an email
from Buckingham Palace.

Would you like to have tea
with the King on Thursday?

Oh, that's a hard no.

(SCOFFS) I can't stand
their stair carpet.

Oh. Look, sorry,
I almost forgot.

There's also this.

GRANDMA: Oh, a letter!

-Yes.
-(LAUGHS) I remember those.

Yes. What fun!

-But how do you get into it?
-Oh. I'm sorry. God, sorry.

Er, I'll just open that
for you.

Oh!

What is that smell?

I believe
it's horse manure, ma'am.

Oh, horse manure? Oh.

(SNIFFS) Ugh, horse manure.
(COUGHS)

-(GREGORIAN CHANTS PLAYING)
-(CHANTING WITH MUSIC)

What are you doing now?

Gregorian chants, darling.

Good for the plants.
They love it!

(ENGINE STARTS)

And I've got the tractor
running on tomato juice.

-(WHOOPS)
-(LOUD SNAP)

-(YELPS)
-Oi!

Well, it's a work in progress.

(TIM CHUCKLES)

What do you want?

Please come
to the Enchanted Wood.

You know what? Fine.

Anything is better
than being here.

Finally!

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

Seriously?

Ugh, it's wet! Ugh!

(JOE GRUNTS)

Ugh!

Oh, my God, it's in my hair!

Hello? I'm literally seeing
warning signs right now.

Don't worry. They're just
to scare humans off.

-But we're humans, aren't we?
-It's okay. They know me.

-Who's they?
-Don't you remember, Joe?

Fran's friends
with the fairies.

JOE: I'm tired.

Guys, it's just there.

It's just a tree.

Now close your eyes

and say, "I believe in magic"
three times.

There's no way
I'm saying that.

-I believe in magic.
-I believe in magic.

Close your eyes.

-I believe in magic.
-I believe in magic.

BOTH: I believe in magic.

Oh, my God, Fran.
A fairy! Look! (BLOWS)

It's because
you didn't say it, Beth.

I'll say it, and then
it will be evidenced

as juvenile nonsense.

I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

I believe in magic.

-(TREE CREAKING)
-(MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

I told you. Come on!

Come on!

-Whoa!
-There they are.

-Get on.
-JOE: Okay.

Why are we getting on them?

FRAN: You'll see.

What happens now?

-They go up.
-Up?

-Up.
-BETH: Whoa!

FRAN: Yay!
JOE: Mummy!

(CHUCKLES) Do you want
to practise kissing? Mm.

You're such a good kisser.

Oi! (SCREAMS)

FRAN: That's where
the angry pixie lives.

What is this place?

FRAN:
And this is Mr Watzisname.

Mm, morning.

Joe, Saucepan Man.
Saucepan Man, Joe.

Hi, Banjo.

Why are you covered
in saucepans?

(SIGHS) Why does everyone
keep asking me that?

The clue is in the name.

MOONFACE: Great. More humans.

Get ready
for more broken promises.

And this is Moonface.

He hates humans.

I'm in charge here.

I'm the wisest

and most cleverest creature
in all the lands.

-He's a bit big-headed.
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)

That's just hurtful.

Just because someone's
physically different…

SILKY: And who am I?

You might be wondering.
Hi, Fran.

I am Silky.

So called
for my silky golden hair.

-(CHUCKLES)
-Oh.

-Is something amusing?
-BETH: No, it's just

that's how you
define yourself, is it?

By your blonde hair?

No. no. I bake cakes
and I look pretty also.

Feminism not made it
to these parts, then?

Oh, on the contrary,
I love being feminine.

I like you.
Hope we can be friends.

I've got enough friends,
sister.

(LAUGHING)
We can't be sisters, silly.

Well, I mean, unless
your parents are from

-the Land of the Fairies.
-What?

-DAME WASHALOT: Incoming!
-Oh!

Quick! Out of the way!

Why?

(GIGGLES)

What the heck?

Oh, dear.

-Dame Washalot.
-(DINGING)

Land of Birthdays is here!

Land of Birthdays!

Run along, I'll catch you up.

-Let's go! Come on!
-Come on, Beth.

(SIGHS)

FRAN: You'll love this, Joe.

It's a ladder
that goes to other worlds.

JOE: Sounds amazing.

Have you gone insane?

I can't let you go up
a massive ladder

through a hole in the clouds.

Why not? We'll be fine.

Worry not, sister.
We'll look after them.

Oh, it's wet.

-Please, Beth!
-Come on, Beth.

Fine. I'll give you
five minutes.

-Yes!
-DAME WASHALOT: Lovely.

That'll give me enough time
to wash your top.

Come here.

You're covered in soap suds.

Whatever have you been up to?

-(CHUCKLING)
-I wonder.

Take it off.

Right. Are we ready
for a bit of launch mode?

-Yes, yes.
-DAME WASHALOT: Ooh. Oh!

And remember
to wrap up warm up there!

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
-Why?

The reason
we have to dress up warm is,

because of the icing!

(GASPS SOFTLY)

MOONFACE:
Come on. Don't dawdle.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

Welcome.

(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Welcome
to the Land of Birthdays!

Where every day
is your birthday!

And your wishes all come true.

What are you? Pixies?

(ALL GASP)

Please do not
insult us like that!

Actually, we are elves.

Birthday elves to be precise.

Please come join us
for your birthday celebration.

ELF: Come on. Come on.

-Look at the jelly!
-Wow!

Burger shake.

-Pizza, my favourite!
-My favourite!

-SAUCEPAN MAN: Mm!
-And now, if you make a wish,

-it shall come true.
-SAUCEPAN MAN: A fish?

What's he talking about?
How do you make a fish?

Mate, you never hear anything.

You need to lose
the saucepans.

Fine! I wish
that I had no saucepans.

Then you'll all see
why I need them.

Hmm!

-(YELPS)
-(GASPS)

SAUCEPAN MAN: Hmm? Hmm?

-(LAUGHING)
-Happy now?

I look ridiculous!

Totally naked!

I love video games, but
Mind Blast is my favourite.

So I wish I could be
my Mind Blast game character.

-(GASPS)
-Ooh!

JOE: So cool!

I love it!
I love it! I love it!

Incredible!

Extraordinary!

Me next.

I want to be small,
I want to have wings,

I want to be…

the fairiest fairy
in all the lands.

(CRACKLING)

Silky?

-MOONFACE: Silky?
-Where are you?

MOONFACE: Where have you gone?

(MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

-(ALL GASP, APPLAUD)
-(SIGHS)

-ELF: Little. Little wings.
-(EXHALES) Oh!

-(GASPS)
-ELF: Little wings!

-(GIGGLES)
-Oh!

(GASPING)

-Whoa. She's flying.
-Whoa!

I can fly.

-And now, it is your turn.
-(SNAPS FINGERS)

I hate the sound
of my own voice.

Aw.

I wish…

I had someone else's voice.

-(CRACKLING)
-(ALL APPLAUD)

(IN GRUFF VOICE)
I wonder if it worked.

Oh, no!
This is worse than before.

Oh!

Please, sir,
can I change my wish?

Er…

Me too. I can't eat my pizza.

Ah, no. Once a wish
has been wished…

It cannot be reversed.

-Until when?
-Until the end of time.

-What?
-Buh.

Uh-oh.

(DAME WASHALOT HUMMING)

There you are, dearie.
All done.

Well, it's shrunk a bit.

Well, maybe a bit.

I mean, it's all that
synthetic material

they use in your world.

(SCOFFS)

My world?
What are you talking about?

It is a bit confusing,
isn't it?

Worlds, lands.
But it's really very simple.

At the top of that ladder
are lands that come and go.

Come have a look. This
shows us what land we're on.

There's loads. There's, erm,
the Land of Toys. Mm?

Land of Dreams.
Ooh, that's a good one.

And, oh, yes,
the Land of Giants.

(CHUCKLES) I mean,
they're all nice, really.

Not a bad land among them.

Apart from
the Land of Dame Snap!

Oh, sorry, did I say land?
I meant prison!

(LOUD CLANK)

You're going to stay here
to learn.

And to learn,

I must break you.

Like this!

Okay.

But it's the Land of Birthdays
today, right?

Nothing bad can happen there.

Well, I mean, only if they've
wished for something silly.

But they wouldn't
do that, would they?

Well, you can have this back.

Oh. You sure
you don't want it?

It gets chilly up there.

Suit yourself. Oh.

If you are going up,

can you give this
to the birthday elves?

It's their washing.

Thanks, dearie.

(SIGHS) Kids these days.

They really are so ungrateful.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, my God.

(WHOOSHES)

ELF: Fantastic, our laundry.
She's here.

Welcome to the Land
of Birthdays!

PINK ELF: Where every day
is your birthday…

-And all your wishes…
-Come true. Yeah, I know.

Er, fine. I wish my dad's
dumb tomato dream fails

-so we can all go home.
-(EXPLOSION)

It's a bit early
for the wishes, but okay.

Great. Now where's
my brother and sister?

FRAN: (IN GRUFF VOICE)
It's Beth!

Beth, we've made
some terrible mistakes.

Let me take a wild guess.

You all made stupid wishes.

I just wish I had
my own voice back!

SILKY: Well, Beth,
I think you'll see

that we didn't all
make stupid wishes.

My one is pretty spectacular,
as I'm sure you'll agree.

If you wish to be
a flying cupcake… Perfect.

And you,

are no longer my sister.

LIGHT BLUE ELF: Can we have
our laundry already?

-Laundry?
-My colours are going limp.

-Laundry, s'il vous plait.
-(ELVES CLAMOURING)

-Uh, uh, uh. Not so fast.
-(CLAMOURING STOPS)

No clean clothes
until the wishes are reversed.

-What?
-But there is no way.

But we need clean clothes,
eh, Jean?

There is a man

who lives in the basement
beneath this land.

He may be able to help you.

But we must warn you.
He is, er,

-not a nice man.
-No.

What's his name?

Mr Oom Boom Boom.

(IN GRUFF VOICE)
It says knock seven times.

(SCOFFS)

MR OOM BOOM BOOM: In a row!

You're kidding me!
What? Who is it?

Erm, the elves sent us.

They said you might be able
to help us?

Mr Oom Boom Boom
helps no one but himself!

I wonder why they call him
Mr Oom Boom Boom.

-(SIGHS)
-(SLAMS)

So I've got a loud voice.

I've had it since childhood!

So rude!

Oh, please, Mr Oom Boom Boom.

Just reverse their wishes
and we'll be on our way.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

You're very small.

(CHUCKLES) I know.

Who are you?

Oh. Well, I am Silky.

And I am
the most fairiest fairy

in all of the lands.

Oh, oh, I-I do not need
my wish reversing, by the way.

I am incredibly happy with it,

in spite of what
some people might think. Huh!

Mm…

Mm. (INHALES, SPLUTTERS)

You know,
on second thoughts, I, er,

changed my mind.

-I will help you.
-Really?

(SHOUTING) That's what
I just said, didn't I?

-SILKY: Oh.
-Now follow me.

Oh, excuse the mess.

I wasn't expecting visitors.

This place is usually
by appointment only!

Are you a scrap dealer?

I prefer the term
"art dealer".

I deal in valuable artefacts

from all the lands!

See, this is a snowman

from the Land of Ice and Snow!

Right.

Obviously, it melted,
but you…

you… you get the idea! Okay?

I've got spells.

I've got spells

from the Land of… Spells.

-The Land of Spells?
-Yes.

JOE: Is there one
to reverse our wishes?

Oh, well, wouldn't that
be convenient? No!

You need this…

Wait. What… what…

Aha! Here we are. Yes.

I won this door playing poker

with a bloke from the Land
of Back to Front.

Four aces I had
without cheating!

You go in there,
say your wishes again,

and they'll be reversed.

-BOTH: Great.
-Ba-ba-ba-ba.

Not so fast.

Like I said, I am a dealer.

So before you go in there,
we have to strike a deal.

Fine. What's the deal?

I want the fairy.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

-Absolutely not.
-(IN GRUFF VOICE) No!

-Never.
-It's not for me,

it's for Santa Claus!

Santa Claus? Seriously?

He offered me money
to find him

the best fairy
in all the lands

for his Christmas tree
this year.

That's the deal.

Take it or leave it.

Not in a gazillion years.

SILKY: Wait.

-I agree to the deal.
-(GASPS EXCITEDLY)

-Silky?
-No.

We can't let you do this.

It won't be so bad. I'll be
with "the" Santa Claus.

I mean, what could be more fun
for a fairy than that?

I have to do this,

if not for you,
my old friends, then…

the children,

my new friends.

Beautiful sentiments.
Thank you, fairy.

You'd do this for us?

'Course I would.

I was wrong about you, Silky.

And I was wrong about you.

When?

I… I… I don't know,

it just sort of felt like
the right thing to say.

I think we could
have been friends.

Maybe even sisters.

Maybe even sisters.

(GASPS JOYFULLY)

BETH: And I was
being mean before.

You look great.

I just thought you looked
pretty cool the way you were.

Oh.

Can we hurry this along,
please?

I've got to catch
the last post!

So, go, fairy,

to the packing station,
if you please.

-(BUZZING)
-Oh.

Before you go in there,

there are snacks.

So help yourself…

(OMINOUSLY) …if you can.

Or, "nac-uoy-fi",
as they say here.

-Nac-uoy-fi?
-SILKY: Bye, Joe.

-Bye, Beth. Bye, Fran.
-SAUCEPAN MAN: Bye, Silky.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Nac-uoy-fi,

if you can.

Nac-uoy-fi…

if you can.

(DISCORDANTLY)
We need to speak backwards.

(CRUNCHING)

(DISCORDANTLY) Oh, my gosh.

(DISCORDANTLY) I wish I was
my Mind Blast character.

Mm. In you pop.

That's it. Nice and safe.

Snug and warm.

Sorry, fairy! This ain't
going to Santa Claus!

It's going to Dame Snap!
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

(IN GRUFF VOICE) I wish
I had someone else's voice.

FRAN: (IN NORMAL VOICE)
Yay, it worked!

(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

Oh, Dame Snap
will be so pleased

-with little Oom Boom.
-DAME SNAP: Who's a good boy?

Dame Snap!

Silky is in danger.

Hey, what are you doing?

Mind your own beeswax!

You're sending her
to Dame Snap.

Dame Snap?

This will not do!

-(MOCKINGLY) Ooh.
-Come here!

Oh! (CHUCKLING)

-(GRUNTS)
-Whoa, oh!

-(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
-You come here, you! (YELLS)

(YAWNS) That was quick.

Wow, the North Pole.

Oh, you're okay.

Santa,

you look exactly like
my friend Beth.

I am Beth.

Oom Boom Boom was gonna
send you to Dame Snap.

You saved me.

-Er, I guess.
-(OOM BOOM BOOM EXCLAIMING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHS) Hands up!

-(GASPS)
-This here is a toffee gun.

See? (LAUGHS WICKEDLY)

And I'm not afraid to use it!

If you don't hand
the fairy back,

-the lot of you are gonna…
-(CLANGS)

-(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
-And that is why

I wear saucepans.

Ooh! Good to have you back.

-(LOUD RUMBLING)
-MOONFACE: Oh!

The land's moving!
Let's get out of here!

Wait! Where's Silky?

-Hey.
-Hey.

All the wings
and the tininess,

that wasn't really me.

I prefer me.

SAUCEPAN MAN:
Right, let's go! Come on!

-Go, go, go!
-Oh! Come on, this way!

JOE: Run, run!

Go, go, go, go, go!

(MUFFLED) So unhappy
right now! (SOBS)

(LOUD RUMBLING)

-SAUCEPAN MAN: Go, go, go!
-(CLAMOURING)

MOONFACE: (PANTING)
Come on down the hatch!

-FRAN: Hurry!
-Always with the door!

(GRUNTS)

-(MUSIC ENDS)
-Cocoa, please, Mummy.

FRAN: Hi, Mr Watzisname.

Er, er… Hello.

-Do me a favour, okay, Silky?
-Anything.

Don't let any of these boys
boss you around any more.

All right.

Now, you do me this favour.

BETH: Sure.

Wear this pretty flower
in your hair.

Okay.

Come on, you guys! Hurry up!

What the…

See you on the other side.

(WHOOPS)

There is no way
I'm going down that.

Never in a million years.

-(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Yes! Amazing!

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DISTANT HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

What's that?

It's Grandma's helicopter.

Grandma?

How did she know we were here?

I don't know.
I'm a helicopter, too, guys.

(MIMICS HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

Well, you don't quit your job
over silly things

like moral principles!

I mean, what am I to say

to people down at the club
when they ask about you, mm?

I will have to say she's…

unemployed!

No! I will say you are
in a coma or something.

Frieda, would you like
some pumpkin seeds?

No. What do you think I am,
a hamster? (SCOFFS)

Ah, kinder.
(LAUGHS DRYLY) Ugh!

Stand up straight,
get a haircut. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, so pretty, Fran.
Ja. (CHUCKLES)

Beth. Good girl.

POLLY: Hi, guys.

-TIM: Hey. (LAUGHS)
-Where have you been?

Beth and Joe came with me
to the Enchanted Wood.

It was so fun!

-Really?
-Yeah.

And what did you learn
in this Enchanted Wood?

Learn? Oh. Er…

-I don't know.
-"I don't know."

TIM: No, it's okay.
It's playtime.

Playing is plenty.

So how are you going to pay
this farmer his money? Mm?

We're making
Dad's tomato sauce…

Dad's tomato sauce? (LAUGHING)

There will be a grand launch
at the end of…

-(MUFFLED SPEAKING)
-TIM: Mm.

-FRIEDA: Oh, ja, ja.
-Yep.

FRIEDA: No, I…
I forgot about

Timothy's heritage.

(SPEAKS ITALIAN)

Oh, I actually don't know
how to speak Italian, yet.

But you're learning, are you?

No, no, no. My dad said,
one day,

it would just, sort of,
come to me

when the, erm… you know,
when the time was right.

Yeah, of course it will.
And how will you be paying

your manufacturing expenses,
hmm?

Your machinery,
your equipment?

-I'm doing that.
-TIM: Mm!

-You?
-Yes.

(LAUGHS DRILY) I'm laughing!
Ho-ho-ho!

Polly has designed

and made literally everything
that we could possibly need.

Tim.

TIM: She made an automated

irrigation structure
from nothing.

Sprinkler?

Oh, no, but then
you combine it with this.

This multi-domed,

temperature-regulated
climate marquee.

A greenhouse?

You do know these things

have already been invented,
don't you?

That's not really
the point, Mum.

FRIEDA: (SHOUTING)
Then what is the point, Polly?

If you don't mind me asking.

Frieda, let's pump the brakes.

I am extremely disappointed
in you, Polly.

I thought you would be.

How about we put
this truck in reverse?

Beep, beep, beep, beep…

I am not playing bumper cars
with you, Timothy!

It may seem strange to you,
Frieda, but we're happy here.

Well, I'm sure you are,
Timothy.

But what about you, Beth, huh?

Don't you miss your friends?

Don't you want to be
back in the city?

-Well, yes, but…
-FRIEDA: Well, there we are.

I will get you a place
in a good school

in the city next term
and you can stay with me.

-Mum!
-TIM: Whoa.

Don't worry, I will
leave you alone for now.

Or, in fact, put this
grand launch into the diary.

(LAUGHS SMUGLY)

Yes, I will be here

to witness the disaster.

-Oh, great.
-And then, of course,

rescue you
from all this chaos.

We'll see ourselves out.

Thank you
for your letter, Beth.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

Hmm. (LAUGHS SMUGLY)

Oh, dear.

-(SIGHS)
-(TIM SIGHS)

(TUTS)

Er… (EXHALES) Well…

Sun's going down. I'd best
fire up the electricity.

We've got electricity?

And Wi-Fi.

-He… He doesn't mean…
-He doesn't mean me. No.

He means actual Wi-Fi.

Ah.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC CONTINUES)

-(GIRLS CHATTERING)
-Hi! I'm back!

-Oh, gee, we missed you!
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I missed you, too.

GIRL 1: You okay, though?

Sure. Why?

You've got plants
in your hair, babes.

-(CRACKLING)
-Oh. Oh.

(GROANS) The electricity
is gone. Hello?

(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)

-(CRACKLING)
-(TIM PANTING)

(BEEPING)

(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)

(PANTING)

-(SHORT, RAPID BEEPING)
-(SIGHS)

(WHOOPS)

POLLY:
Oh, Beth, there you are.

I'm just about to show Fran
and Joe the dream binder.

What's a dream binder?

It's something that
me and your dad made

when we were students.

It's a place where
you record your dreams.

Dreams of what we wanted
to do, who we wanted to be.

It's the reason
that we came here, in a way.

Really?

Yeah. Well, you know that
your dad grew up round here,

just the other side
of your wood, actually.

And his dad grew tomatoes,
just like we're doing.

What happened?

Well, your granddad

died very suddenly
when Daddy was little,

and him and his mum,

they tried
to keep the business going,

but it was too much
just for the two of them.

So, eventually,
they moved to the city,

and your dad went
to art school.

And that's where
we started dreaming together.

Don't judge the drawing.

There we are.

-JOE: That's you.
-That is me. Very young me.

-(CHUCKLING)
-Dad wanted to be a rock star?

He did, yeah,
among other things.

-(CHUCKLES)
-Why didn't he?

Well, he was busy
looking after you lot.

Oh.

Which let me
go after my dreams.

You made a space station?

Oh, no, I didn't.

I invented a fridge.

But one day, a space station.

-Oh. (CHUCKLES)
-Is that Grandma?

It is. Yeah.

It's funny,
I'd forgotten I'd drawn that.

You got her face wrong.

Yeah, it's probably because
she's smiling.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-(LAUGHS)

All I ever wanted
to do was to…

well, make her proud.

That's the thing
about dreams, isn't it?

Sometimes they just
don't come true,

no matter how hard
you wish for them.

(GASPS) Oh. Now, this is
the one I want to show you.

Now, your dad and I,
we drew this

before any of you
were even born,

because one of our dreams

was that we'd live here
in the countryside,

living off the land,
with hopefully a happy family.

You guys, basically.

There we are.

But why am I a girl?

Er, yeah. Well, like I said,

you can't have
everything, can you?

(ALL LAUGH)

I wanted you guys to know
why we're here.

Look, I…
I know it's been hard,

and mad.

But your dad and I just felt
like we were all growing apart

and that, maybe,
a place like this

would help to bring us all
back together again.

Maybe it's worked.

Do you remember the last time
we did this?

I don't think
we've ever done this.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

(HORN BEEPS)

Any jars, anyone? Spare jars?

(HAMMER THUDDING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hang on.
(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)

Here you go.

Mm!

(GASPS)

-Put it in your mouth.
-(POLLY EXCLAIMS)

It's the dirtiest glove
in the whole world.

(GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY)

(GRUNTS) Great,
just stepped in snail poop.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

Guys, it's from Silky.

The Land of Dreams is
at the top of the tree today.

Today? Okay,
come on, guys, let's go.

Joe, we've got to finish this.

We will.
Land of Dreams tonight!

-Tonight! Yes!
-Here we go! Get to work.

Let's go.
Come on, we've got this.

Hey!

-(TIM EXCLAIMS)
-(PLAYFUL CHATTER)

(CHILDREN SQUEALING, LAUGHING)

(TIM LAUGHS)

Mm! Best pasta sauce yet, Dad!

(IN ITALIAN ACCENT) It is
the climate, just like Italy,

-where my forefathers…
-POLLY: Oh, no!

…they tilled the land
with their bare hands.

You're not Italian, you fool.

We haven't even been to Italy.

Why is my pasta sauce-a
so good, eh?

Spaghetti race, me and you.

Three, two, one!

-(IN NORMAL VOICE) Go, go, go!
-Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

-TIM: Race, race, spaghetti.
-POLLY: Go, go, go, go!

BETH: Come on, Fran,
you've gotta beat him.

(LAUGHING)

-(ALL LAUGHING)
-TIM: (LAUGHS) No! Don't, no!

Why aren't they coming back?

I thought they quite liked us.

Don't worry, everyone.
Of course they're coming back.

Hmm.

(INHALES)

(SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT)

-(LIGHT CLANKING)
-MOONFACE: Hmm?

They're not coming back,
are they?

I told you.

They always forget about us
when they grow up.

Well, best we forget
about them, too.

Come on.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

Dad, someone
from the DeCanio's

is coming to the launch today.

-POLLY: What?
-What?

They're the biggest tomato
sauce company in the world.

Hey, if they like your sauce,
then we can pay off this place

-in no time.
-TIM: Well, all right.

Does anyone want
to help me harvest

some really juicy tomatoes?

-Yeah!
-(LAUGHING)

-Okay, let's go!
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)

♪ Let's get tomatoes ♪

ALL: ♪ Let's get tomatoes ♪

-♪ Let's get tomatoes ♪
-TIM: ♪ Hey, hey! ♪

(JOE WHOOPS)

TIM: Okay,
drumroll please, Joe!

-(MIMICKING DRUMROLL)
-Trumpet, Fran!

-(MIMICKING TRUMPET)
-ALL: Hey!

(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)

TIM: No. No, no, no, no. No.

How?

I don't understand.

They were fine yesterday.

(TIM BREATHING HEAVILY)

Maggots.

(PLOPS)

-POLLY: No.
-Ruined. They're all ruined.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)

TIM: (SIGHS) Okay.

I'm sorry, guys.

Adventure's over.

Better start packing.

(SIGHS) I should probably
tell the villagers

that the opening is off,
and, erm…

people from DeCanio's, too.

Wait. Can we have
a couple of hours?

-POLLY: What for?
-If we can still get

the farmer his money,
we can stay, right?

-Yeah, but…
-Bethy, it's over, darling.

I can't explain.
Just trust me.

Please.

Okay.

Come on, let's go.

JOE: Beth,
where are you going?

BETH: This is all my fault.
FRAN: No, it's not.

It is.

I made a stupid wish
in the Land of Birthdays

for the tomatoes to fail
so we could all go home.

All right, then,
it is your fault.

Yes. And why didn't you
just reverse it?

I wish I had, but I didn't.

So now I've got to fix it.

Are you coming?

-Yeah. We're coming.
-Yeah.

(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING)

MOONFACE: Do you expect us
to help you

when you abandoned us?

We didn't technically
abandon you.

We were helping Mum and Dad.

We're going to help them,
Moonface.

They're our friends.

MOONFACE:
Who put you in charge?

I did, Mister…

Man… head!

-Was that better, Beth?
-Getting there, Silky.

All right.

What do you propose?

Oom Boom Boom said
there was a Land of Spells?

Yes, a spell would do it.

Yes, a spell that
makes tomatoes better again.

Good idea. Only problem is,

the Land of Spells
is months away.

Can we cross
the lands ourselves?

Completely impossible.

Or…

-completely possible.
-Oh.

It's the Land of Know Alls
at the top of the tree today.

If anyone were to know

how to get to
the Land of Spells, it's them.

(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING)

KNOW ALL 1: You wish
to cross the lands…

KNOW ALL 2:
To locate a magical spell…

KNOW ALL 3:
To save some tomatoes.

So that your father can make
his Italian pasta sauce.

Which, in turn, will mean
your house and lands

can be saved
from your evil grandma.

But crossing the lands
is very difficult.

And for this reason,
you have come to us,

the Know Alls, for help.
(CHUCKLES)

We know all of this…

-because…
-Because…

-…we are…
-…we are…

-♪ The Know Alls ♪
-♪ The Know Alls ♪

-♪ Know Alls ♪
-♪ Know Alls ♪

No. You know all that
because we just told you it.

All right,
no need to get shirty.

-(SCOFFS)
-It's still…

stuff we know.

Look, we're in a hurry.

-Ah!
-Ah!

You're in a hurry.

I can tell.

I feel the hand of time

weighs heavy
on your shoulders.

A ticking clock, no less.

You're doing it again!

Now you're raising
your voice at us.

Shouting.

-Losing your temper.
-Are we correct?

-ALL: Yes!
-That's why

they call us the Know Alls.

-♪ Know Alls ♪
-♪ Know Alls ♪

♪ Know Alls ♪

(HIGH-PITCHED) ♪ Know Alls ♪

Do you know a way
to cross the lands or not?

-(LAUGHS)
-(SCOFFS) Of course.

-What a question!
-We know!

-KNOW ALL 1: 'Course we know.
-Okay.

KNOW ALL 2:
We know everything.

-Tell me, then.
-Er…

Oh, erm…

-We, er…
-Er, yes.

There's a land-hopping machine
in the next room.

-(SIGHS) There.
-(ALL GRUMBLE)

Come on, everybody.

-(BEEPS)
-(RAPID THUMPING)

(WHIRRING)

JOE: Whoa! It's just like
the plane in Mind Blast.

MOONFACE: Mind Blast?
JOE: We are looking good.

(SAUCEPAN MAN MUTTERS)

Buckle up, guys.

-(ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING)
-Whoa!

-MOONFACE: Oh, no!
-(JOE WHOOPS)

I can fly! (WHOOPS)

SAUCEPAN MAN: Oh, we're not
going in there, are we?

(RUMBLING)

(FIZZING, CRACKLING)

BETH: Oh, look,
there are the others.

Maybe they've had more luck.

SILKY: Hey, guys!

We found
a plant growing spell!

-That's great.
-Yes, but the bad news is

he won't sell it to us.

JOE: (SIGHS) Why?

I don't know. The idiot
keeps on speaking in riddles.

I don't believe in
material objects, that's all!

This spell, 'tis a personal
favourite of mine,

so I want something priceless

which cannot be
bought or sold.

-Oh, forget about it. Come on!
-SILKY: All right.

Moony, there's a good bloke
over there.

-I hear he's got a good stall.
-MOONFACE: Yeah.

-Wait.
-BETH: What?

I've got an idea.

(EXPLOSION)

No, absolutely no.

You've got to be joking.

Fine.

I'll do it myself, then.

JOE: Fine.

♪ We're
a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together, we're a home ♪

♪ When you're
with your family ♪

♪ You're never alone ♪

CHILDREN: ♪ Oh-oh
We're together ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

♪ We're
a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together, we're a home ♪

♪ And when you're
with your family ♪

♪ You're never alone ♪

♪ Oh-oh, we're together ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

(RHYTHMIC BEATING)

♪ Sing the family song ♪

♪ We're
a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together, we're a home ♪

♪ And when you're
with your family ♪

-♪ You're never alone ♪
-♪ You're never alone ♪

♪ Oh-oh, we're together ♪

-♪ Come rain or shine ♪
-♪ Come rain or shine ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

♪ The family song ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

♪ We'll sing the family song ♪

Yeah, that was, erm…

beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

(RUMBLING, CRASHING)

Moonface, which way
back to the Faraway Tree?

-Erm, right.
-JOE: Right!

MOONFACE: No, wait.
JOE: What?

-Bear left.
-JOE: Left?

MOONFACE: No, wait.
Bear right.

JOE: That makes no sense!

No. Left. Definitely left.

-Are you sure?
-You can trust me, tiny human.

(BEEPS)

-(ALARM WAILING)
-MOONFACE: Whoa!

-What's happening?
-We're losing power.

We must be out of fuel.

It doesn't have fuel.

-(SNORING)
-As an aviation expert,

-I think the plane is tired.
-Tired?

We mustn't
let it get overtired

or it'll have
a mid-air tantrum,

and it won't be good.

(LOUD SNORING)

JOE: Wait, what's that sound?
FRAN: It's snoring.

It says it's asleep.

MR WATZISNAME:
It just needs a rest.

JOE: Wait, I see a land.
I'll bring it down.

(TYRES SCREECH)

(PLANE SNORES AND HUMS)

SILKY: Ah,
this land seems lovely.

MOONFACE: If you say so.

FRAN: This place is creepy.

There are no bad lands,
are there?

Oh, there's one. Dame Washalot
told me about it,

said it was like a prison.

What was it called?
The Land of er…

Dame Snap?

Welcome…

all you new pupils
to my school,

and so keen.

I didn't even have to
lure you here.

You just walked right into it.

-Like so many little flies…
-(FLIES BUZZING)

…into a spider's…

web.

Oh.

(CRUNCHES)

(ALL GROAN IN DISGUST)

-(SLURPS)
-MOONFACE: Poor fly.

-There was no need for that.
-DAME SNAP: Right.

I'm in the mood
for some music.

Aren't you?

Off you go.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(CHUCKLES)

BETH: Wait. No!
We don't have time for this!

(HUMMING)

DAME SNAP: ♪ Ah ♪

♪ If you go down
in the woods today ♪

♪ You're sure of a big ♪

♪ Surprise ♪

♪ If you go down
in the woods today ♪

♪ You'd better go
in disguise… ♪

What's happening?

♪ For every bear
that ever there was… ♪

I'm not quite sure.

♪ Will gather there
for certain ♪

♪ Because today's the day ♪

♪ The teddy bears
have their picnic ♪

(LAUGHING)

Did you just laugh at me?

-(LAUGHS)
-SILKY: Shh!

-No.
-Did you…

Do you want…

-Do you want a slap?
-Ooh.

-(SILKY GASPS)
-Ooh. Ooh.

DAME SNAP: That used to be
my name, you know.

Dame Slap!

But not any more, because
the school inspector came

and said that I wasn't allowed
to hit my pupils any more.

(LAUGHS)

But he doesn't come to
this school any more, does he?

-And neither do the children.
-And neither do the children.

-Because it's a bad school.
-Because it's a bad…

No, it's not
a bad school, is it? No.

It's the pupils that are bad!

But you don't even know us.

All right, then, let's get
to know you, then, shall we?

You. (SNAPS FINGERS)

Beardy weirdo,
what's your name?

Er, erm… I don't know.

-What?
-Sorry, er, Miss…

er, I don't know my name.

Are you pulling my chain?

No, it's not gonna rain.
It's sunny outside.

I am going to snap.

-I mean it!
-Hmm. All right.

So one more time,
what is your name?

It's on the tip of my tongue.
My… My name is

S… Ch…

(SPLUTTERS) No, I don't know.

Three days' detention! Out!

MOONFACE: Detention?

-Where's he going?
-DAME SNAP: Right.

Anyone else? Detention?

Mm-mm? No?

Yes.

Get out!

What are you doing?

BETH: We've got to get back,
remember?

We have a better chance

of escaping detention
than here.

(SILKY GASPS SOFTLY)

-(GASPS)
-(SIGHS)

Who threw that?

I did!

Right.

Detention, right now!

Thank you.

Out! Out! Out!

-Miss?
-Yes?

I think you're
one of the best teachers

in the universe.

I have a question.

Come a little bit closer.

(FARTING)

DAME SNAP: That's disgusting.

Get out!

(FARTING)

(FARTING INTENSIFIES)

Ah. (SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)

What is happening? Get out!

With pleasure.
(FARTS)

-Oh, Moony.
-MOONFACE: Ooh.

Oh, Miss.
(FARTS)

Is it just me,
or does it smell…

(FARTS)
…like roses in here?

Get out of my classroom,
pot head!

MR WATZISNAME:
Is anyone hungry?

Because I've been sitting

on this pile
of rotten vegetables,

which might be quite nice.

-Yuck!
-Great plan, Beth.

Get put in prison.

Well, why don't you think
of another plan, then?

Well, I could.

I am the best in all the lands
at coming up with plans,

-but I don't want to.
-Why?

Because I'm done
helping humans.

I told you
we should never have

let humans back in our lives.

They come as children,

"Oh, let's play all day
in the sunshine

"and we'll
remember you forever."

But then, they grow up

and they forget all about you.

Well, that's just
the way it is, Moonface.

-It has to be that way.
-It's true, Moony.

Only children
believe in magic.

-Mm.
-Grownups always forget.

FRAN: Our dad didn't.

He used to live around here.

And he said the woods
were full of fairies

and pixies and joy and wonder.

And he was right.

-What's his name?
-Tim. Tim Thompson.

(GASPS)

Timmy?

-You knew him?
-Oh, yes.

Yes, we loved him.

Especially Moonface, but…

-(GASPS)
-…one day

he just stopped coming.

We… We thought
he'd forgotten us.

-Hmm.
-(BREATH TREMBLING) But…

he… he didn't.

He came back.

He came back after all.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Right.

Plan. What's the hardest
rotten thing on that pile?

This potato.

Good.

Joe, growing spell, please.

-Hey, not all of it.
-Don't worry.

There's plenty left.
It's strong stuff.

Leave this to me, Moony.

Saucepans
are the perfect protection

in a situation like this.

(GRUNTS) Right. Okey-doke.

(CHUCKLES)

-Fire in the hole!
-Everyone get behind Saucy.

You really are good at plans.

Of course. Do you think I just
make these things up?

(THUDDING)

Who wants to get
out of prison?

-JOE: I do.
-Yeah, let's go.

-JOE: Nice!
-(MOONFACE LAUGHS)

BETH: Faster, faster!
Hurry, Fran.

MOONFACE:
Get to the land hopper!

-(DISTANT SHOUTING)
-(GASPS)

DAME SNAP: It can't be.

MR WATZISNAME: Wakey-wakey,
rise and shine time!

-Wake up, plane!
-Wake up!

(YELLS)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

It's awake! She's woken it up!

BETH: It's working!
It's working!

JOE: Come on, let's go!
FRAN: Hurry!

(YELLS)

No, no, no!

BETH: Go, go, go!

-She's coming out of the gate!
-She's coming!

MR WATZISNAME:
She doesn't look very happy.

-FRAN: Come on, Joe!
-(ENGINE REVVING)

(SCREAMS)

-(REVS)
-Whoa!

(TYRES SCREECHING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(PANTS)

(CHUCKLES SMUGLY)

(GASPS)

(WHOOPS) Yeah!

I knew she wouldn't
give up on us!

SAUCEPAN MAN: Well, well.
(LAUGHS) Bye-bye, Snappy.

(GROANS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

-(SIGHS)
-(PEOPLE CLAMOURING)

Oh, dear, what's that?

(CLAMOURING)

No! No, sorry!

Sorry, sorry.

The grand launch is cancelled.

There's no tomato sauce
here today. I'm sorry.

It's… It's all a mess.
It's all bad. It's all wrong.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

TIM: My children were
supposed to…

were supposed
to send a message.

Beth!

-(CLAMOURING)
-POLLY: Stop!

-TIM: Honestly…
-(CRACKLING)

(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)

-(CLAMOURING CONTINUES)
-POLLY: Please, please!

TIM: I'm sorry! Please!

They failed!
My plants, they failed!

It's all failed. I'm sorry!

Be…

What are you
talking about, failed?

They's beautiful!

Aye, they's beautos, mate.

-What on Earth?
-(GASPS)

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(SOFTLY) I have no idea
what you did.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Thank you.

We didn't really do anything.

Come here.

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

(CLINKS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(MAN SPEAKS ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(CONVERSATION CONTINUES
IN ITALIAN)

(GRUNTS)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN EXCITEDLY)

Amore mio.
(LAUGHS)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you think they'll stay?

I'm sure they will.

Or my name's not…

Hey, guys!

I've remembered my name!

What is it, then?

It's… S…

It's…

-No, it's gone again.
-(SILKY SIGHS)

(RUSTLING)

Wait.

Where's Moonface?

Oh.

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

-Hey, Beth.
-GIRL: Hi, Beth.

Phones in the scratchel,
please.

Scratchel. Screen satchel.

Scratchel…

Erm…

I love it. It's so rural.

Whoa. Everything looks
so cool here, Beth.

Wait till you see
what's in the wood.

Come on. I'll show you round.

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

Welcome home, Timmy.

Moonface…

(SOBS)

(CHUCKLES)

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

TIM: ♪ We're
a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Together, we're a home ♪

♪ When you're
with your family ♪

♪ You're never alone ♪

♪ Oh-oh, we're together ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

♪ Come rain or shine
That's right ♪

♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

Sing along now!
Sing along, y'all!

But he has not won yet.

I will get them
back to the city

if it is the last thing I do.

-Bye-bye, my lovers.
-Laters, potaters.

-About high time, innit?
-Don't speak to them.

Don't speak to them!

(IN POSH ACCENT) So much fun

messing with city folk,
darling.

(IN POSH ACCENT)
Ah, big time, so much fun.

(LAUGHS) Fancy a dance?

Don't mind if I do.

TIM: ♪ We'll all join in
and sing the family song ♪

MAN: Hey,
I like this family song.

What happened then?

TIM: ♪ Sky is blue
Sun is hot ♪

♪ Put them tomatoes
in the pot ♪

♪ Oh-oh, it's Family Song ♪

MAN: Yee-ha! All right!

TIM: ♪ Beth is tired
Fran's inspired ♪

♪ Mum could swear
that Joe is wild ♪

MAN: He's wild!
Oh, yeah, he's wild all right!

Hey-hey, hey-hey!

TIM: ♪ Muddy boots ♪
MAN: ♪ Muddy boots ♪

TIM: ♪ Pat a moose ♪
MAN: ♪ Pat a moose? ♪

TIM: ♪ Shake your arms
and make 'em loose ♪

♪ Oh-oh, the family song ♪

MAN: You better make 'em
loose. I'm getting loose.

TIM: ♪ We're
a rootin' tootin' family ♪

♪ Mum, Dad,
Fran, Joe and Beth ♪

♪ When you think about it
We really are the best ♪

♪ Oh-oh, we're together ♪

♪ Come rain or shine ♪

MAN: Bring it on home now,
Thompsons! Bring it on home!

Whoo!

TIM: ♪ So clap your hands
and sing along ♪

♪ 'Cause we just sang
our whole darn family song ♪

MAN: Yee-ha! Whoo-hoo!
Ride 'em, cowboy!

Where am I?

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

(UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Would you like some wine?