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1
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What do you want to know? Um...
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2
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See that? A clock, calculator in one. So...
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3
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That's free. Thank you.
.
4
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,467
Oh, here we go.
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5
00:00:48,434 --> 00:00:50,734
-(ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS) -Three.
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6
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Hello, David, it's Paul Shepherd here. Can you give us a call, mate? Cheers.
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7
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No!
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8
00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:57,334
Dave, it's Julian. Can you give us a ring, please?
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9
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,267
-Go away! -(ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS)
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10
00:00:59,334 --> 00:01:00,901
Good bloke. Good laugh.
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11
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-David, it's Paul again, I think... -Leave me alone!
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12
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(MESSAGE CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
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13
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It's fine. It is fine, that one.
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14
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That's okay. It doesn't matter.
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15
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:15,067
Take that there...
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16
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:17,601
That's the old office. So...
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17
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,067
Let's get you started. Ohh.
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18
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:25,434
No one is going to lose their jobs.
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19
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,133
Yes, Head Office are talking of downsizing,
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20
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,133
but they've said clearly
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21
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,701
that the most efficient branch will incorporate the other one.
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22
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We are the most efficient branch.
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23
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Cogito, ergo sum, we'll be fine.
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24
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DAVID: Why should they be worried, yeah?
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25
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,634
They trust me implicitly.
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26
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:46,200
I've said there's not going to be any redundancies, so that becomes gospel.
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27
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Unconditional trust. It's nice.
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28
00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,934
Mutual. Likewise. Reciprocated.
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29
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,701
My only worry is that the powers that be don't come down here
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30
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:57,901
and pop their head round the door with their rule book
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31
00:01:57,968 --> 00:02:00,767
and go, "Oh, hold on, what's going on here?
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32
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,801
"These people are mucking around." Right?
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33
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:05,968
"Whilst getting the job done, they're having a laugh at work
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34
00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:08,534
"with the Sword of Damocles hanging over them." Right?
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35
00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:10,934
"This isn't in the rule book. Who's in charge here?"
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36
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,133
Guilty! Get a new rule book!
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37
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,868
All right?
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38
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,167
It works with the turtle.
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39
00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:17,868
(ALL LAUGH)
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40
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,000
Okay. Good. Um...
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41
00:02:20,067 --> 00:02:22,467
Finally, this young lady is Donna.
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42
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,300
DONNA: Hello. ALL: Hello.
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43
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,100
Daughter of my best friends Ron and Elaine.
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44
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:30,133
She's lodging with me, so she's my responsibility,
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45
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,567
and her dad's not only a copper but he's a bloody big bugger, isn't he?
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46
00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,667
So, hands off.
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47
00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:37,767
I've got something she could take down in evidence!
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48
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,267
Oh, don't worry about this lot.
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49
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,534
Do you want to receive some swollen goods?
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50
00:02:41,601 --> 00:02:42,734
(ALL LAUGH)
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51
00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:44,601
Wouldn't mind escaping up her tunnel!
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52
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,901
Get out.
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53
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,934
Get out. I mean it.
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54
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:55,467
(SIGHS)
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55
00:02:58,901 --> 00:02:59,968
It's a shame.
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56
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,567
I will not have her tunnel
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57
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:14,100
bandied around this office willy-nilly.
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58
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:19,767
Right.
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59
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,968
Okay. Help her to settle in.
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60
00:03:25,033 --> 00:03:27,234
If you do have any trouble from the men...
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61
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,200
-What does she do, Dawn? -Kick them in the balls.
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62
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:32,667
-Oh! Feminist. -Get your bra off.
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63
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:33,868
Do you want to go out as well?
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64
00:03:33,934 --> 00:03:35,901
Sorry. Burn your bra but... Feminists.
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65
00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:37,834
-Good point. -Yeah. Right.
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66
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,868
Obviously keep a T-shirt on, like Charlie Dimmock.
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67
00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:41,167
-Okay. -Women's libbers.
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68
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,534
That's it.
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69
00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,601
(TAPPING)
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70
00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:17,701
What are you doing? What are you doing? That's ridiculous.
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71
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:18,767
(PHONE RINGING)
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72
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:21,200
Hello. Wernham Hogg.
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73
00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:24,801
Yeah, hang on a minute. I'll just put you through.
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74
00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:27,467
That is... You won't need to use that.
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75
00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:31,500
You've met this lot. Um, this is Gareth,
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76
00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:33,834
who you saw in the meeting.
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77
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:36,200
Formal introductions.
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78
00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:37,934
Hi. Gareth. Welcome.
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79
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,701
Just a handshake is fine.
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80
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:43,033
-And Ricky. -Hi. Nice to meet you.
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81
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,334
Even longer.
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82
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,868
And Tim.
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83
00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,901
-Hello. -Good.
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84
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:51,734
Okay. Settle her in. Get her started. Show her the phones and everything.
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85
00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,234
But first, methink the lady dost need a chair.
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86
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,968
To sit down on.
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87
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,701
Maybe she should sit down here
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88
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,100
then I could teach her the ropes,
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89
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,234
seeing that's my responsibility as team leader.
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90
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,634
David? I'm just saying, maybe...
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91
00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:10,000
When people say,
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92
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:13,901
"Oh, would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss?"
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93
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,968
My answer's always the same. To me, they're not mutually exclusive.
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94
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:21,200
There's a weight of intellect behind my comedy. Yeah?
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95
00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,667
If you were to ask me to name three geniuses,
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96
00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:28,334
I probably wouldn't say, um, Einstein, Newton...
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97
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,667
You know. I'd go Milligan, Cleese, Everett.
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98
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:33,868
Sessions.
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99
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,100
(TIM LAUGHS)
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100
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,734
Gareth, have you got a licence to carry that?
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101
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:42,834
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
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102
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:45,434
Portable phone. All right?
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103
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,834
Can you swap places with Donna, please?
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104
00:05:47,901 --> 00:05:50,434
No... I'm not moving.
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105
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,100
Do as you're told.
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106
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:55,167
Why, what are you going to do, phone me?
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107
00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:57,968
-I am team leader. -I don't give a monkey's.
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108
00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,567
You're so immature.
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109
00:05:59,634 --> 00:06:03,901
Gareth, if there's one thing that I am not, it is immature.
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110
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,601
You're an immature little tosser.
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111
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,968
(MOBILE RINGS)
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112
00:06:11,033 --> 00:06:13,434
-Gareth Keenan. -Cock.
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113
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:18,000
-So... -David, I was just saying to Tim...
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114
00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:21,167
Looks like a... Doesn't it?
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115
00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:23,467
-Gun holster. -It's just my portable telephone.
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116
00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,234
I was just saying to Tim maybe...
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117
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,234
Sorry, I just thought of something.
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118
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,567
(IMITATING CLINT EASTWOOD) I know what you're thinking,
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119
00:06:30,634 --> 00:06:32,734
did I make five or six calls?
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120
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:41,300
The question is, do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?
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121
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,701
-Clint Eastwood. -Spot on.
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122
00:06:45,868 --> 00:06:48,267
Let's let them get on with it. Okay.
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123
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:54,434
We're all online here. Hooked up
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124
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,701
to the world wide web. Internet.
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125
00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:58,701
No shopping. All right?
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126
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:03,300
Um, everyone's got email. Have you used email before?
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127
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:06,200
-Yeah. -Yeah. It's easy, isn't it?
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128
00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:08,000
-I'll just show her on here. -Yeah.
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129
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,567
Oh, you got a new one. See where it says "New mail"?
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130
00:07:10,634 --> 00:07:13,234
Just go to that. Just click on that.
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131
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,367
(GASPS) No.
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132
00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:19,200
No, it's not... Yeah. It's not funny because
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133
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,534
Donna should not have to see me
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134
00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:23,934
as a woman with two men doing that all over me.
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135
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,067
You've got nice boobs.
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136
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:28,767
No. It's just not, it's just my head. They've put it on there to...
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137
00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:31,868
Who else has seen this filth?
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138
00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:35,701
You know what I'm talking about. Who else has seen this filth?
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139
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,100
You haven't even got email, Joan.
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140
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,367
Someone printed it out for me.
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141
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,067
Who printed this out for Joan?
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142
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:53,167
Wow. I'm angry.
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143
00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:56,000
And not because I'm in it,
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144
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:59,500
but because it degrades women,
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145
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:01,868
which I hate.
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146
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:05,434
And the culprit, whoever he is, is in this room.
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147
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,200
Or she. It could be a woman.
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148
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,133
Women are as filthy as men.
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149
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,367
Naming no names. I don't know any.
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150
00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:14,701
But women are dirty.
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151
00:08:18,634 --> 00:08:22,000
Good friend of mine and a bloody good rep, Chris Finch,
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152
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:25,500
IQ of 142, one of the cleverest blokes I know.
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153
00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:26,667
Certainly the cleverest bloke you know, isn't he?
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154
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:28,234
Chris Finch, yeah.
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155
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,267
He was in an argument once and he went,
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156
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,734
"How can I hate women? My mum's one."
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157
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:37,968
Yeah? There's a lot of truth in that.
.
158
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:42,300
And that's why when I see rubbish, all right?
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159
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:45,167
I'm not annoyed 'cause I'm in it or I'm a prude.
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160
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,567
-It offends women. -And our mums.
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161
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:52,601
In a way. It's sexist, and I hate that.
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162
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,801
-So do I. -Yeah, but I've said it, haven't I?
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163
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,667
We've both said it. We've had meetings where we've both said it.
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164
00:08:56,734 --> 00:08:59,767
-Yeah, but I really hate it. -I've always...
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165
00:09:00,868 --> 00:09:03,000
The point is this, yeah?
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166
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:06,234
We've got access to the internet, yeah? But it is not censored.
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167
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,534
Is that a good or a bad thing?
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168
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:10,133
-Bad. -Well, it's not for us to say.
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169
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,734
All I know is I can type in
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170
00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:16,968
"sex...fetish". Yeah?
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171
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:19,300
It takes a little while.
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172
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:23,400
2,230 matches. Yeah?
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173
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:26,400
Just click on one at random.
.
174
00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,100
Oh...
.
175
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,667
"Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs."
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176
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,167
Now, you do not punish someone,
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177
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:34,634
Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.
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178
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,100
If anything, they should be rewarded.
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179
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,934
-They should be equal. -Women are equal.
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180
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,934
I've always said that, so...
.
181
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,100
-Do you want to play with my hair? -Huh?
.
182
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,701
-Do you want to play with my hair. -Play with your hair?
.
183
00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:46,767
All right, then.
.
184
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:53,133
I've got kind of hot hands. Sorry.
.
185
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,067
That's all right. Just don't touch my head.
.
186
00:09:57,968 --> 00:09:59,634
All it is...
.
187
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:02,834
Well...
.
188
00:10:04,534 --> 00:10:05,834
Donna.
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189
00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:08,100
Yeah? My responsibility.
.
190
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,934
Away from home. I know boys will be boys.
.
191
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:14,100
Word from the top is...
.
192
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:15,701
-Hands off. -Yeah.
.
193
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,834
-Out of bounds. -Yeah.
.
194
00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:20,868
-Look, but don't touch. -What do you mean by look?
.
195
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,100
Talk to her, be friendly,
.
196
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:26,367
-don't get any ideas. -Yeah. Good.
.
197
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,701
Fine.
.
198
00:10:29,868 --> 00:10:31,234
What if she's up for it?
.
199
00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:34,467
You want to get some of this sorted out, mate.
.
200
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,033
-What can we play now? -I don't know.
.
201
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,901
Ask around. Find out who did the picture, yes,
.
202
00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:41,901
-discreetly. -Undercover.
.
203
00:10:41,968 --> 00:10:45,500
Well, don't go steaming in, accusing people.
.
204
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,267
-Mmm-hmm. -Okay?
.
205
00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:50,133
No, I'm trained in this. When I was in the army.
.
206
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,067
-Territorial. -Territorial Army.
.
207
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,901
Yeah, whatever. Okay?
.
208
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:57,567
Okay. I will need some stuff.
.
209
00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:58,968
Like what?
.
210
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,767
An office.
.
211
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,601
Well, use the meeting room for now.
.
212
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,901
Right. I can say it's my office, can I?
.
213
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,367
What?
.
214
00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:08,801
I can say to people, "Come into my office"?
.
215
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,067
-Well, while you're doing this, yeah. -Right.
.
216
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:15,434
-I'll make a sign. -You don't need to make a sign.
.
217
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,133
And if I need the meeting room for a meeting,
.
218
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,934
it's the meeting room again, so...
.
219
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,367
-Right. I'll take the sign down. -Don't need to make a sign.
.
220
00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:24,534
-(MOBILE RINGS) -Don't make a sign.
.
221
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,701
Gareth Keenan.
.
222
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,701
-So... Who was that? -No one.
.
223
00:11:35,234 --> 00:11:38,601
No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number. Bye.
.
224
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,133
That's that, okay?
.
225
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,634
You go left, you go right, kick.
.
226
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,434
It's ding ding da!
.
227
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,601
Yeah, but I never said that was...
.
228
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,334
No, that was straight from Thriller, though.
.
229
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,300
He goes... # Eeeh hee! Ah! Chamone! #
.
230
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:55,133
-It's that. -Afternoon, Mr Jackson.
.
231
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,300
I know you're an international superstar but have you sent that fax yet?
.
232
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,534
Have you heard, um... Have you heard, uh...
.
233
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,067
Michael Jackson's new song he's doing?
.
234
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:07,434
He's teamed up with West Ham football team, apparently.
.
235
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,067
Doing I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles!
.
236
00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:14,434
The chimp.
.
237
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:18,434
She doesn't know about football. Tell her later.
.
238
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,000
Have you heard George Michael's latest release?
.
239
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:24,467
No. George Michael's latest song. It's his release...
.
240
00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:26,000
-Is it about blow jobs? -Yeah, the thing in the toilet,
.
241
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,300
-it was a hand job. -Right
.
242
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,934
DONNA: Is it Wank Me Off Before You Go Go?
.
243
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,500
(ALL LAUGHING)
.
244
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,167
Um...
.
245
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,133
What's white and slides down toilet walls?
.
246
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,100
-I don't know. -Michael Jackson's latest release.
.
247
00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:42,400
George Michael's.
.
248
00:12:43,634 --> 00:12:45,434
Good, innit? Oh.
.
249
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,200
-Can you moonwalk? -Probably not any more.
.
250
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,100
-Give it a go? -Yeah. I used to...
.
251
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,167
You got to drop your heels back.
.
252
00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,801
Not on this. You can't do it on this.
.
253
00:12:52,868 --> 00:12:54,734
-Let me show you. -I used to do it, yeah.
.
254
00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:58,801
Oh, yeah, I know how to do it. We used to do all that stuff as well.
.
255
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:02,834
All that sort of stuff, yeah. Just like take control of the body.
.
256
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,467
-And it's all that now, isn't it? -Yeah, and it's all...
.
257
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,667
-Busy? -Yeah, just, uh...
.
258
00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:07,934
keeping up the morale.
.
259
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
-Can we have a chat? -Yeah.
.
260
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,801
Ooh!
.
261
00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,901
Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith...
.
262
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,934
Thanks for coming in. Um...
.
263
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,834
Now, you know what this is about. Obviously you've seen the picture,
.
264
00:13:25,901 --> 00:13:27,901
-you know, of David on the computer... -I saw it, I saw it.
.
265
00:13:27,968 --> 00:13:30,267
Yeah. And we've all had a bit of a laugh about it, haven't we?
.
266
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,534
-It was funny. -Yeah.
.
267
00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:35,868
There's a time when the joking has to stop, though. Um...
.
268
00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:38,067
Not only is it derogatory...
.
269
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:41,500
GARETH: David has trusted me with this because
.
270
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,734
not only have I got people skills,
.
271
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:47,534
but I am trained in covert operations.
.
272
00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:51,500
You know the phrase "softly softly catchee monkey"?
.
273
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:54,567
I could catch a monkey. If I was starving, I could.
.
274
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,601
I'd make poison darts out of the poison off of deadly frogs.
.
275
00:13:58,667 --> 00:14:03,467
One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey, or a man.
.
276
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:06,000
Prick yourself, you'll be dead within a day.
.
277
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,267
Or longer.
.
278
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:09,434
Different frogs, different times.
.
279
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,334
Do you know who done the picture?
.
280
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,634
Yeah.
.
281
00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:16,767
No. I mean, no.
.
282
00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:20,167
Right. Your first answer was "yeah".
.
283
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,601
-Wasn't it? -I meant no.
.
284
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:26,334
-Well, why did you get... -Uh... Don't know.
.
285
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,033
Am I making you nervous?
.
286
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,033
No. I mean, yeah.
.
287
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,767
Hmm, that's interesting.
.
288
00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,133
I've just spent two days in Swindon with Neil
.
289
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,033
and he's made some big changes.
.
290
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,701
Now, when we spoke on Friday,
.
291
00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:41,167
you said you were going to instigate some changes of your own.
.
292
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:44,167
I just wondered how that was going.
.
293
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,400
-Great. -Good. What have you done?
.
294
00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:49,801
Changed many things, really.
.
295
00:14:49,868 --> 00:14:51,500
In a global sense,
.
296
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,901
streamlining the whole ongoing enterprise of it.
.
297
00:14:54,968 --> 00:14:57,300
I'm sorry, David, that sounds like management-speak to me,
.
298
00:14:57,367 --> 00:15:00,167
-and I know you hate that. -Yeah, I do. So...
.
299
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:01,767
Well, can you give me, let's say,
.
300
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,200
five practical changes that you've actually made?
.
301
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:06,801
-Five changes? -Mmm.
.
302
00:15:06,868 --> 00:15:09,734
I'll give you three, and then another two if you need them.
.
303
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:10,868
Okay.
.
304
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:15,968
Efficiency. Turnover. Profitability.
.
305
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,334
I'm sorry, David, that still sounds like management-speak.
.
306
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,701
-No, because... -You hate that.
.
307
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:24,901
-Shall I tell you what Neil's done? -Can do.
.
308
00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:26,467
He's frozen any wage increases,
.
309
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,367
he's put a stop on all overtime.
.
310
00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:31,767
And any purchases of ยฃ100 or more now go through him.
.
311
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:35,367
Hundred? I was going to make it 90, but 100's all right.
.
312
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,167
And he has started making redundancies, David.
.
313
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,701
-That's only four. -Yeah. Whatever, David.
.
314
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,734
Have you made any redundancies?
.
315
00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:44,734
I gave a speech only this morning to my staff,
.
316
00:15:44,801 --> 00:15:46,834
assuring them there would not be cutbacks in this branch
.
317
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:48,767
and that there certainly wouldn't be redundancies, so...
.
318
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:52,133
-Why on earth would you do that? -Why? Oh, don't know.
.
319
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,334
A little word that I think is important in management called "morale".
.
320
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,934
Well, surely it's going to be worse for morale in the long run
.
321
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,901
when there are redundancies and you've told people there won't be?
.
322
00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:07,634
They won't remember.
.
323
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,968
-With your arms... -This way?
.
324
00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,467
-Ah! -And then...
.
325
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:15,133
-Ooh! Yeah, I know. Like a... -More of a...
.
326
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,834
DONNA: Yeah. RICKY: That is nice.
.
327
00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:20,400
I'll be honest with you, David, there have got to be cutbacks.
.
328
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,767
Now, if you can't manage that yourself,
.
329
00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:23,868
that's why I'm your boss, I can do that for you.
.
330
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:26,334
You're not the boss here. And you don't have to do anything for me
.
331
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,767
'cause I've already made cutbacks.
.
332
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,734
-What, you've made cutbacks already? -Yeah.
.
333
00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:31,734
I didn't want to tell the staff, but to you...
.
334
00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:34,400
Cutbacks where?
.
335
00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:35,968
Staff.
.
336
00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:38,734
-So there have been redundancies? -Yeah.
.
337
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:41,367
-Well, have you let anyone go? -Yeah.
.
338
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,467
Who?
.
339
00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:45,200
Julie.
.
340
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:47,300
Where does Julie work?
.
341
00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:50,868
Warehouse.
.
342
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:53,067
What does she do?
.
343
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:56,868
Just general warehouse in the warehouse. She was, uh...
.
344
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,133
I'm sorry, David, I thought I knew everyone in the warehouse.
.
345
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,801
What's her surname?
.
346
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,734
Second name?
.
347
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,000
Anderton.
.
348
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:11,901
Um... It's signs that Gareth's made for the door of his office.
.
349
00:17:11,968 --> 00:17:15,634
He started off with "interrogation room".
.
350
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,801
He went to "interrogation office",
.
351
00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:19,634
"investigation room",
.
352
00:17:19,701 --> 00:17:22,033
"investigation office", just for the...
.
353
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,334
He really lost it here.
.
354
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,868
"Quiet, please! Investigation in process!"
.
355
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,868
"Silence. Interrogation." That's frightening.
.
356
00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,968
That's the one he's gone for. "Investigation and meeting room."
.
357
00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:40,133
Makes sense. My personal favourite, though, has to be...
.
358
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,167
"Gareth Keenan investigates!" Why?
.
359
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,334
So...
.
360
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,434
There's a lot of um...
.
361
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,500
-I'm trying to work in here. -Sorry, mate, yeah.
.
362
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,467
-How is the investigation going? -Good.
.
363
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,434
-Very good. -Do you need a deputy at all?
.
364
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,467
No. I've already got one.
.
365
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,701
-All right, Sheila? -All right?
.
366
00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:05,801
Keep it down.
.
367
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,968
This is scary, David.
.
368
00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:19,000
Don't tie any more cash up in stock unless you have to.
.
369
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:23,868
I'm sure you could lose more people from down here. Who's the foreman?
.
370
00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:25,767
Taffy!
.
371
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,801
Taffy! (GIGGLES)
.
372
00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:29,734
-Glynn! -What?
.
373
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,834
We all call him Taffy.
.
374
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:36,167
The thing is, though, no one's dispensable in my book. Yeah?
.
375
00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:38,767
'Cause we're like one big organism, one big animal.
.
376
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:42,100
Yeah? The guys upstairs on the phone, they're the mouth.
.
377
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,267
And the guys down here, the hands.
.
378
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:46,701
-Mmm. And what part are you? -Good question.
.
379
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,567
Probably the humour.
.
380
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,100
With responsibility comes harsh things.
.
381
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:04,300
Um... People look at me, they say, "Oh, he's tough. He was in the army.
.
382
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,901
"He's going to be hard. By the book."
.
383
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,834
But...
.
384
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,500
I am caring and sensitive.
.
385
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:16,200
Isn't Schindler's List a brilliant film?
.
386
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:19,500
Um, yeah.
.
387
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,534
See? People think a strong man can't be sensitive
.
388
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:25,100
but I'm thoughtful and caring...
.
389
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:26,934
Sorry, what's this about?
.
390
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,267
About the picture of David with the two blokes jizzing on him.
.
391
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:32,200
Were they both jizzing on him?
.
392
00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:34,801
I thought he was sucking one of them off.
.
393
00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,000
I don't think...
.
394
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,868
No, look, it's just jizzing.
.
395
00:19:40,934 --> 00:19:42,500
Well, I didn't do it.
.
396
00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:44,834
Good. Fine.
.
397
00:19:44,901 --> 00:19:47,467
Well, I'm glad we had this little chat.
.
398
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:51,300
I don't want you to think of me as your boss.
.
399
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:52,701
Well, you're not.
.
400
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,500
Well, I'm higher up than you, so I am.
.
401
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:59,300
What I'm saying is don't think of me as a boss,
.
402
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:02,701
-but know that I am. -I don't think you are.
.
403
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:05,567
Well, I'm team leader, so I am. I'm higher up than you.
.
404
00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:07,934
(MOBILE RINGS)
.
405
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,334
Gareth Keenan.
.
406
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,367
Right, seriously. Now, just stop it.
.
407
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:21,000
Yes, I've had office romances.
.
408
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,601
Loads.
.
409
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:24,534
Not here, another place I worked at.
.
410
00:20:24,601 --> 00:20:26,534
Good-looking ones as well.
.
411
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:30,234
But they're not a good idea, office romances.
.
412
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,701
It's like shitting on your own doorstep.
.
413
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:35,467
I've had loads of offers here, but I go, "No way."
.
414
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,701
Distracting. And that's actually one of the major arguments
.
415
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,868
against letting gay men into the army.
.
416
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:42,834
And I haven't got a problem with that.
.
417
00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:45,601
You know, a gay man's not going to put me off. I can handle myself.
.
418
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:48,033
But if we were in battle,
.
419
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,767
is he going to be looking at the enemy or looking at me
.
420
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,100
going, "Oooh"?
.
421
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:57,500
You know? "He looks tasty in his uniform."
.
422
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,000
And I'm not homophobic, all right?
.
423
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:00,634
Come round, look at my CD collection.
.
424
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:04,601
You'll find Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys.
.
425
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,434
They're all bummers.
.
426
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,934
(DOG BARKS ON TV)
.
427
00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:14,267
All right, lads? What are you watching?
.
428
00:21:14,334 --> 00:21:17,334
-It's my dog shagging his dog. -Oh, yeah.
.
429
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,701
Glynn, I'm sure David's made it clear to you that you'll be losing personnel.
.
430
00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:23,367
That's a funny bit. Look at Gazza's face!
.
431
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,968
I'm sorry to interrupt,
.
432
00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,701
do you think you can lose any more staff from down here?
.
433
00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:29,901
-I know you lost Julie Anderton. -Who?
.
434
00:21:29,968 --> 00:21:32,534
-Opening a can of worms there. -Julie Anderton. David fired her?
.
435
00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,367
-Never heard of her. -Oh, loyalty.
.
436
00:21:34,434 --> 00:21:36,934
When someone goes from this organisation, they no longer exist.
.
437
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,167
She never existed, did she?
.
438
00:21:38,234 --> 00:21:40,434
-Well... -You made her up.
.
439
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,434
Well, you backed me into a corner and I...
.
440
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,834
-You lied. -It's a form of acting.
.
441
00:21:44,901 --> 00:21:46,767
Can you take this upstairs? We're a bit busy.
.
442
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:49,534
-You don't look busy. -Do you want me to get busy, love?
.
443
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,000
I'm sorry?
.
444
00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,934
You can be next. Gazza likes some posh.
.
445
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,133
-A word with you. Now. -Yep.
.
446
00:21:57,033 --> 00:21:58,234
That was out of order in a way.
.
447
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,167
-Ooh! -No, I'm not in trouble.
.
448
00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:02,400
What she needs is a good shagging!
.
449
00:22:02,601 --> 00:22:05,667
I might bloody have to now. See you later.
.
450
00:22:07,167 --> 00:22:09,901
Now, then. You two.
.
451
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,100
Dawn and Tim.
.
452
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:15,400
What do you want, Gareth?
.
453
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:18,834
I've been assigned to find out who did the picture.
.
454
00:22:18,901 --> 00:22:20,267
Right. Who was it?
.
455
00:22:20,334 --> 00:22:22,400
-Well, I don't know. -Will you get fired?
.
456
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:23,934
-Will I get fired? -If you don't know who did it.
.
457
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,667
Well, I'm finding out now. I'm doing investigations now.
.
458
00:22:26,734 --> 00:22:29,567
-Was it one of you two? -Yes. Christ, you're good.
.
459
00:22:29,634 --> 00:22:31,033
-Was it? -No!
.
460
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,734
I knew it wasn't.
.
461
00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:35,000
Listen. I'm not going to fire you if you know anything
.
462
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:36,500
-because... -You couldn't.
.
463
00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:37,968
-I could. -How would that work?
.
464
00:22:38,033 --> 00:22:40,467
I would say, "You're fired. Clear your desk and..."
.
465
00:22:40,534 --> 00:22:41,934
I would say, "You don't have the authority." But go on.
.
466
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,367
Not true, not true.
.
467
00:22:43,434 --> 00:22:45,934
Because in this room, I have special...
.
468
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,133
-Needs? -No. I am a special...
.
469
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,167
-Needs child? -No, and that's not funny. All right?
.
470
00:22:51,234 --> 00:22:53,367
-I won't have you fired because... -You couldn't.
.
471
00:22:53,434 --> 00:22:54,667
-Right, that's all. -Thank you.
.
472
00:23:04,901 --> 00:23:07,067
I just can't believe their total lack of respect.
.
473
00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:10,467
Yeah, yeah. Not only did they undermine you in an authoritive sense...
.
474
00:23:10,534 --> 00:23:12,467
-(KNOCKING) -Come in, Gareth.
.
475
00:23:12,534 --> 00:23:14,701
...but they left an image in my mind
.
476
00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:17,300
of you naked on all fours
.
477
00:23:17,367 --> 00:23:20,467
being quite literally done doggie-style.
.
478
00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:22,634
David!
.
479
00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:26,200
-Carry on. -What is it?
.
480
00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:27,901
I've found the guilty man.
.
481
00:23:27,968 --> 00:23:30,701
-Have you indeed, Mr Keenan? -Can this wait, David?
.
482
00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:32,934
Uh, yeah,
.
483
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,734
but if I tell you there's pornography, sexist pornography, which I hate,
.
484
00:23:35,801 --> 00:23:37,834
going round the office, then do you want it to wait?
.
485
00:23:37,901 --> 00:23:39,500
Pornography?
.
486
00:23:39,567 --> 00:23:43,200
-Who was it? -Surprise, surprise. It was Tim.
.
487
00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:45,367
Shame. Good man. How can you be sure?
.
488
00:23:45,434 --> 00:23:48,767
I found these pictures on his hard drive downloaded from the internet.
.
489
00:23:48,834 --> 00:23:50,133
After investigation,
.
490
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,767
licensed by, carried out by...
.
491
00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,767
Oh, no.
.
492
00:23:56,834 --> 00:24:00,434
Urgh. I don't want you to see this. I don't want to see this. Urgh.
.
493
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,033
That's worse than the one before.
.
494
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:06,400
Oh, I hope there aren't any more. There are more.
.
495
00:24:06,467 --> 00:24:08,934
Well, he will have to be disciplined
.
496
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,901
because when the disciplining has to be done,
.
497
00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:15,167
then the laughter stops for that amount of time, then continues,
.
498
00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:17,801
rehabilitation notwithstanding.
.
499
00:24:17,868 --> 00:24:20,100
It's everywhere. Oh.
.
500
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,934
How did you find out?
.
501
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,200
Well, I suspected the pictures probably came off the internet,
.
502
00:24:24,267 --> 00:24:25,901
so I checked everyone's computer.
.
503
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:29,033
'Cause there is a log of every web page you've visited.
.
504
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:31,767
You just go to Internet Page and then Net History.
.
505
00:24:31,834 --> 00:24:35,133
-Well, it's not worth it... -It only takes a second.
.
506
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,701
I don't want to even know how it's done, in a way.
.
507
00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:41,667
Can you delete the history thing on the computer? We should, really.
.
508
00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:44,467
-David, this is a meeting. -Yeah, yeah.
.
509
00:24:44,534 --> 00:24:47,334
Okay. That's all. Anything else?
.
510
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,167
Um, oh, Taffy phoned from the warehouse.
.
511
00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:50,934
-He's got another funny video for you. -Thanks.
.
512
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,300
-This is just one big boys' club! -Not really.
.
513
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:56,000
Seedy little men with seedy little jokes.
.
514
00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:57,801
This morning, perfect example!
.
515
00:24:57,868 --> 00:24:59,901
I do not want to be put in that position again.
.
516
00:24:59,968 --> 00:25:02,033
Don't go down the warehouse.
.
517
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,500
David, don't tell me where I can and can't go in my own company.
.
518
00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:05,868
-Advice... -You're on very thin ice as it is.
.
519
00:25:05,934 --> 00:25:09,133
You've already lied to me today. What's that?
.
520
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,000
You lied to me because you don't have the guts to do your own job.
.
521
00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:13,601
I don't have the guts?
.
522
00:25:13,667 --> 00:25:17,767
If you're not man enough to do your job, I will do it for you.
.
523
00:25:17,834 --> 00:25:19,400
Not man enough?
.
524
00:25:20,534 --> 00:25:22,534
Okay.
.
525
00:25:22,601 --> 00:25:24,167
Come here.
.
526
00:25:32,267 --> 00:25:34,567
Busy at work?
.
527
00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:37,601
-Is there a problem? -Yeah. That.
.
528
00:25:37,667 --> 00:25:39,968
-I'm sorry. What's that? -(CHUCKLES) "What's that?"
.
529
00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:44,500
I don't know. A dirty picture with my head on it, as a sex object.
.
530
00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:48,868
And don't... You know I like a laugh, Tim. I'm just...
.
531
00:25:48,934 --> 00:25:52,367
Porno laughs are not funny, okay?
.
532
00:25:52,434 --> 00:25:55,000
-I'm disappointed. -You think I did this?
.
533
00:25:55,067 --> 00:25:57,000
Case closed.
.
534
00:25:57,067 --> 00:25:59,534
Hey, shouldn't I say that? As it was my investigation.
.
535
00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:02,934
What annoys me is you obviously didn't do it in your own time...
.
536
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,934
Whoa, whoa. Colombo here figured it out, did he?
.
537
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,567
Well, yeah, of... I must be guilty if you've got your best man on the case!
.
538
00:26:10,634 --> 00:26:13,234
Stop trying to be funny for one second, Tim, okay?
.
539
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:16,067
And listen, okay? And stop taking advantage of my good nature
.
540
00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:19,234
'cause I could be like every other boss in this situation.
.
541
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,667
Okay? Right?
.
542
00:26:20,734 --> 00:26:24,067
You're taking the piss and I'm getting sick of it.
.
543
00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:27,567
David, it wasn't me, okay? It was your good friend Chris Finch.
.
544
00:26:29,801 --> 00:26:31,300
He used my computer.
.
545
00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:34,000
He said he was your best mate and you'd find it hilarious.
.
546
00:26:34,067 --> 00:26:36,200
Oh...
.
547
00:26:36,267 --> 00:26:39,400
No, it is. That was never in question.
.
548
00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:43,033
I think it's bloody hilarious. You're missing the...
.
549
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:45,868
Are you going to apologise to Tim?
.
550
00:26:45,934 --> 00:26:49,601
I'll tell you about families. You don't have to, in a way.
.
551
00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:51,033
So...
.
552
00:26:51,100 --> 00:26:53,334
Are you going to apologise to Tim?
.
553
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,167
I have, in a way...
.
554
00:26:55,234 --> 00:26:58,400
-Are you going to apologise now? -Yes!
.
555
00:27:04,868 --> 00:27:08,601
S... sorry about that.
.
556
00:27:08,667 --> 00:27:10,801
You weren't involved... You covered for it so well, as well.
.
557
00:27:10,868 --> 00:27:12,734
You were involved, but you covered, that's what I like.
.
558
00:27:12,801 --> 00:27:14,534
Well, I really wouldn't want to be here when you bawl out Finchy.
.
559
00:27:14,601 --> 00:27:16,634
You won't be. It's not fair. Nor will you.
.
560
00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:19,601
So it's not offensive now it's Chris Finch?
.
561
00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:23,701
Let's not dwell on whether it is or isn't this or...
.
562
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,434
Let's stop degrading women, shall we? Please.
.
563
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,067
Let's have a laugh with them, not at them.
.
564
00:27:29,133 --> 00:27:31,734
Let's have a laugh at work,
.
565
00:27:31,801 --> 00:27:34,133
with women, at us.
.
566
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,500
So I trust you'll be telling Chris Finch he won't be working with us any more?
.
567
00:27:37,567 --> 00:27:39,167
Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll get rid of a good rep
.
568
00:27:39,234 --> 00:27:40,968
'cause he played a joke. Brilliant.
.
569
00:27:41,033 --> 00:27:43,434
-David, don't even start. -No, no, fine.
.
570
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,868
That's come from the top.
.
571
00:27:48,801 --> 00:27:52,100
Yeah. Hi, Chris. It's David here. Yeah. Bad news, mate.
.
572
00:27:52,167 --> 00:27:55,133
We're going to have to let you go. We can't use you any more. No. Yep.
.
573
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,868
'Cause of the joke.
.
574
00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:59,934
No, I've got a sense of humour, but that was offensive towards women,
.
575
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,868
and I can't tolerate that. I'll have to pass on...
.
576
00:28:02,934 --> 00:28:07,601
...the time sponsored by Accurist will be 4:21
.
577
00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:09,834
and 40 seconds.
.
578
00:28:09,901 --> 00:28:11,667
-Pathetic. -Is it?
.
579
00:28:11,734 --> 00:28:14,500
At the third stroke, the time sponsored by Accurist
.
580
00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:18,601
will be 4:21 and 50 seconds.
.
581
00:28:30,367 --> 00:28:31,667
Sorry, has anyone got the right time?
.
582
00:28:38,567 --> 00:28:42,334
# So what becomes of you, my love
.
583
00:28:44,434 --> 00:28:48,901
# When they have finally stripped you of
.
584
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,534
# The handbags and the gladrags
.
585
00:28:51,601 --> 00:28:53,968
# That your granddad had to sweat
.
586
00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:55,868
# So you could buy #
.
587
00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:01,267
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
.
46361
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