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1
00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:22,031
Hi, it's me. Message to myself.
2
00:00:22,205 --> 00:00:23,194
[CHUCKLES]
3
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:26,365
A few things. Uh, put extra money
in Ritchie's lunch for a snack...
4
00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:31,139
...buy milk, buy wine,
find weird smell in living room.
5
00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:33,248
Botox, maybe, I don't know.
6
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:35,816
Stop taking Nyquil,
I think it's keeping you up.
7
00:00:35,985 --> 00:00:39,216
Okay. Yeah, that's it.
Thank you very much.
8
00:00:39,389 --> 00:00:42,756
You know what?
No, no Botox, that's gross.
9
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:47,022
Who are you?
Learn to love yourself, for God's sakes.
10
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,325
Okay, yeah, that's it.
Um, have a good night, ha.
11
00:00:53,837 --> 00:00:56,431
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
Sent today at 2:57 a.m.
12
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:57,595
[PHONE BEEPS]
13
00:00:57,774 --> 00:00:59,105
CHRISTINE [ON MACHINE]:
Yeah, hi.
14
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:03,541
Uh, fix sprinklers, put pictures
in photo album, stop eating sugar.
15
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,705
It's no replacement for love. Heh.
16
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:10,319
Buy more Nyquil.
That's it. Thank you very much.
17
00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:12,416
Why do you always thank yourself?
18
00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:18,056
Because sometimes there are whole days
when I'm the only one who's polite to me.
19
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:20,753
Oh, sad.
20
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:23,398
Yeah, it is.
21
00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:27,197
So it's an exciting day.
22
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,429
Exciting new school.
23
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:32,074
- Are you excited?
- No.
24
00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:36,736
Oh, don't say no.
You are excited. It's very exciting.
25
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:41,373
Three hundred kids applied to your school.
Only two got in, and you're one of them.
26
00:01:41,551 --> 00:01:43,018
- Why?
- Why?
27
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,212
Honey, because you're smart,
and you're friendly...
28
00:01:46,389 --> 00:01:51,224
...and if anyone asks,
you're one-sixteenth Native American.
29
00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:55,296
I don't wanna go to a private school.
I wanna stay in school with Julian.
30
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,865
Oh, come on, pal,
this is a great opportunity.
31
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,800
Going to a school we can't afford,
with people we've never met?
32
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:03,199
Lt'll...
33
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,364
It's better.
34
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,270
- I don't wanna be better than Julian.
- Well, that's not what I'm saying.
35
00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:13,006
I'm saying that the school is better.
Not you.
36
00:02:13,183 --> 00:02:15,845
And I don't wanna catch you
turning into a snob, either.
37
00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:18,146
All right? You're not better than anyone.
38
00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:20,152
What about murderers?
39
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:23,217
- What?
- Am I better than murderers?
40
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:26,361
Well, yeah, honey, of course,
you're better than murderers.
41
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:27,826
But nobody else.
42
00:02:27,997 --> 00:02:30,591
- What about racists?
- All right.
43
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,502
You're better than racists,
and you're better than murderers...
44
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,467
...but that's it.
45
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:38,330
I heard racist.
You talking about Grandpa?
46
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:41,375
No, Uncle Matthew,
we're talking about Ritchie's new school...
47
00:02:41,544 --> 00:02:44,911
...and how much fun it's gonna be,
because they've got a brand-new gym...
48
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,606
...and they have a music program,
and they have a science lab.
49
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:49,751
And a giant wall
to keep out the poor people.
50
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,819
And a snack bar.
51
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:55,146
Okay, go upstairs,
put your uniform on, okay, sweetie?
52
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:56,917
Daddy's gonna meet us at school.
53
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,653
Then he's coming over for pizza.
Maybe we'll watch a movie.
54
00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,456
- Cool.
- Hmm.
55
00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:05,362
- You and Richard have a weird divorce.
- It's not weird, it's great.
56
00:03:05,535 --> 00:03:06,524
[SCOFFS]
57
00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:08,762
My divorce is better
than most people's marriages.
58
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:13,170
We get along, we spend time together
as a family. Nothing's really changed.
59
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:17,336
- Then why didn't you just stay married?
- Because, Matthew, it's complicated.
60
00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:21,548
My marriage was like a game
of hide-and-seek...
61
00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:24,278
...where both of us hid,
and nobody seeked.
62
00:03:25,388 --> 00:03:27,219
Sought.
63
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:29,483
Slept together.
64
00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,622
Nothing's really changed.
65
00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:45,374
Why is everyone's car
so much bigger than ours?
66
00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:49,672
Because they don't believe
in themselves.
67
00:03:51,247 --> 00:03:53,772
Do we believe in ourselves?
68
00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,950
Look at our car.
69
00:03:57,086 --> 00:03:59,077
[CHATTERING]
70
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,818
Okay.
71
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,791
Well, this is nice.
72
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:10,797
Nice desks. Lookit, nice artwork.
73
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:13,800
- Where are the black kids?
- Shh!
74
00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:24,838
Don't. Don't say that.
There was one in the brochure.
75
00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:30,208
I'm sure he's around here somewhere.
76
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:34,485
WOMAN 1: Hello.
CHRISTINE: Hi.
77
00:04:34,657 --> 00:04:36,750
- I don't know you.
CHRISTINE: Oh.
78
00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:39,156
We're new. Hi, I'm Christine Campbell.
79
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,388
Hi, Marly Ehrhardt.
Ashley third, Nicky first.
80
00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:42,553
WOMAN 2:
Mm-hm.
81
00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:45,462
Lindsay. Kelsey third,
Sammy fourth, Jackson pre-K.
82
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,693
I, uh...
83
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,635
I don't know what you're saying to me.
84
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:55,475
I'm Marly, I'm the room parent
for this class. So I will be, you know...
85
00:04:55,645 --> 00:04:57,374
...collecting for holiday parties...
- Right.
86
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,344
...hitting you up
for volunteer assignments...
87
00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:01,949
...you know, basically being
your general pain in the B-U-T-T.
88
00:05:02,118 --> 00:05:03,107
[LINDSAY CHUCKLES]
89
00:05:03,286 --> 00:05:05,720
I'll say. And, um...
90
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,116
And I'm Lindsay.
91
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:10,282
I was room parent last year,
but my Sammy got ranked in junior tennis...
92
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,360
...so I'm short on time this year.
93
00:05:12,528 --> 00:05:15,986
Oh, good for you. You got
"ranked in tennis" in the first sentence.
94
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:18,096
Well, he is. He's ranked. I can't help it.
95
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:19,256
[CHUCKLES]
96
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,832
- Anyway, welcome to Westbridge.
- Thank you.
97
00:05:24,007 --> 00:05:26,703
We would say the best way
to get involved would be by volunteering...
98
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:29,538
...and, you know, spending
as much time at the school as possible...
99
00:05:29,712 --> 00:05:31,179
...but, um, we hear that you work.
100
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:35,343
I, uh... Yes.
101
00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:37,383
- Oh.
- What do you do?
102
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,952
Um, ahem, uh, I own a gym.
103
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:45,755
Um, it's, um, one in a chain of women-only
30-minute workout places.
104
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,862
Who would want a 30-minute workout?
105
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,931
What would I do
with the rest of my day?
106
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,760
[ALL CHUCKLING]
107
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,528
Oh, there's Richard's dad,
so I'm gonna get out of here.
108
00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:56,672
CHRISTINE: Ha, ha.
MARLY: Okay.
109
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,363
RICHARD:
Hey, Little.
110
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:01,237
- How's my third-grader?
- I look like a dork in this uniform.
111
00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:03,242
- Yeah, you kind of do.
CHRISTINE: No, no, no.
112
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,506
Richard, don't say that.
That doesn't help me.
113
00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:08,514
Sorry. Cool pants.
What are those, rayon?
114
00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,314
- Hi.
- Hi. Hey.
115
00:06:11,487 --> 00:06:12,579
[CHRISTINE CHUCKLES]
116
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:15,952
- Why are you so dressed up?
- Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?
117
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,526
It's my day off. Plus, I wanted everyone
to know I went to Lake Tahoe.
118
00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,695
Oh, no. Presents?
119
00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:28,894
They were supposed to bring presents?
Uh, we didn't bring a present.
120
00:06:29,072 --> 00:06:32,098
- I'm sure it doesn't matter.
- Well, of course, it matters, Richard.
121
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:35,369
He's new. I work. We're divorced.
122
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:39,914
They're already looking at us like we're
the project family the church sent over.
123
00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,812
All right, you know what?
Stay here. I'm gonna fix this.
124
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,216
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know, probably lie.
125
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,879
Don't ever lie.
126
00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:50,714
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]
127
00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:53,828
- Um, hi. You must be Mrs. Belt?
- Yes.
128
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,625
Hi. Ha. I'm Christine Campbell,
I'm Richard Campbell's mom.
129
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,597
- Oh, yes.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
130
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:00,758
[BOTH LAUGH]
131
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:05,340
Um, I have to apologize,
because your gift...
132
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,140
...has been delayed.
133
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:10,343
- Delayed?
- Well, yes.
134
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:16,611
Um, it's just that it was, um,
so big that it had to be shipped.
135
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,981
And you should've heard me scream
at these people, because l...
136
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:23,489
- You know, uh, Mrs. Campbell.
- Yes?
137
00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:29,256
Parents lavish me with all sorts of presents,
and one thing always seems to be true.
138
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:34,631
The nicer the present,
the meaner the child.
139
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,198
God bless you, Mrs. Belt.
140
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,533
[MRS. BELT CHUCKLES]
141
00:07:39,242 --> 00:07:40,641
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
142
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:42,505
- Okay.
- All right, parents.
143
00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:44,873
I need to say goodbye
to your students now.
144
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,880
It's time to start the third grade.
145
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,018
[MOUTHS]
Oh, my God.
146
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:53,952
God, I am so proud of you already.
147
00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:55,112
I really am.
148
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:56,622
[KISSING]
149
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,029
- Okay.
RITCHIE: Bye, Mom.
150
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:03,097
RICHARD: Come on.
- Bye-bye. Have fun. I love you.
151
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:05,393
You know what?
I'm gonna give you one more little kiss.
152
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,557
[KISSING]
153
00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:10,695
RICHARD:
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
154
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:13,537
- Bye. I love you.
RICHARD: Bye.
155
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:14,937
- Have fun.
RITCHIE: See you.
156
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:17,306
Have fun. I love you, I love you.
157
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,139
[CHRISTINE SIGHS]
158
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:23,751
Oh, my God.
159
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,184
- You wanna have breakfast?
- I already ate.
160
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:27,686
- Oh.
- Stopped at Denny's.
161
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:28,983
Had the Moons Over My Hammy.
162
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,649
[CHRISTINE LAUGHING]
163
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,557
And, uh, I've got errands,
so, uh, I'll call you later.
164
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:35,992
- Okay. All right. Mwah.
- Okay.
165
00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:38,156
RICHARD: Bye.
- Bye. See you.
166
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,499
Oh...
167
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,508
- Your ex seems sweet.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.
168
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,838
How long has it been
since he divorced you?
169
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:53,345
Uh, going on two years,
but it was mutual.
170
00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:54,915
MARLY & LINDSAY:
Uh-huh.
171
00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,950
No, no, no. I mean, it's great actually.
172
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,578
We get along, we spend time together
as a family, you know.
173
00:09:01,757 --> 00:09:04,988
It's better than most people's marriages.
Nothing's really changed.
174
00:09:05,161 --> 00:09:06,890
And where does his girlfriend
fit into that?
175
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,197
- Excuse me?
- We just met her out in the parking lot.
176
00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:12,129
He had the poor thing waiting in the car.
177
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,427
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
178
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:14,831
MARLY & LINDSAY:
Oh, no.
179
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,234
You did know he was seeing someone,
didn't you?
180
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:22,542
Oh, yes. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
181
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,304
Of course, yes. I knew that. Yes.
182
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:29,816
That is something that I certainly
did know of, that. Mm-hm.
183
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,141
LINDSAY:
Good, good.
184
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,309
[ALL CHUCKLE]
185
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,285
So is it hard that she's so young?
186
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,119
- And she has to be adorable, right?
- Adorable.
187
00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,961
Well, what good is young
without adorable?
188
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,927
MARLY:
Yeah.
189
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,759
I would think the weirdest part
would be that her name is Christine.
190
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,438
Say what?
191
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:56,338
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like
she's the New Christine.
192
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:57,536
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
193
00:09:57,713 --> 00:10:00,113
Which, I guess, would
make you the, uh, Old Christine.
194
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:01,648
Oh, yeah.
195
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:04,450
Old Christine?
196
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,588
Old Christine.
197
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:10,121
- Ugh, I would die.
- Me too.
198
00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:12,284
[MARLY & LINDSAY GIGGLING]
199
00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:40,749
Hey!
200
00:10:40,923 --> 00:10:44,791
- What the hell are you doing?
- What am I doing? What are you doing?
201
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:47,986
Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, man.
202
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:50,029
Well, I guess you're meeting.
203
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:53,327
Um, Christine, this is Christine.
204
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:54,833
NEW CHRISTINE:
Hi, Christine.
205
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:56,835
I know. Same name.
206
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:59,668
You can call me Chrissy,
so it doesn't get confusing.
207
00:10:59,842 --> 00:11:01,070
Yeah, thanks.
208
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,212
I probably won't get confused
about my own name.
209
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:06,007
I'm sorry you had to meet like this.
210
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:08,082
Oh, you mean here
in front of our son's school...
211
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,115
...where I'm trying to make
a good impression...
212
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,083
...and not get kicked out
in the first week...
213
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:16,520
...because my ex is whoring around
in the parking lot in his Chevy?
214
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:20,219
Oh, no, no, don't be silly.
This is an absolutely ideal way to meet.
215
00:11:20,396 --> 00:11:23,524
I'm also really sorry about this.
I've heard so much about you.
216
00:11:23,699 --> 00:11:27,396
I mean, Richard just goes on and on
about what a great mom you are.
217
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:29,736
I don't care.
218
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,940
Richard, it would be so nice...
219
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,272
...if once you would put our son's needs
ahead of your own.
220
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,276
- Oh, like you?
- Excuse me?
221
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,938
What in the living hell
is that supposed to mean?
222
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,780
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego than for Little Richard's future.
223
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,285
What? What?
224
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,753
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego...
225
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:50,186
I heard you, Richard.
226
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:54,853
Look, I needed to move on.
I think it's time for you to move on too.
227
00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:59,864
For your information, Richard,
I have moved on.
228
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:03,698
I have had a boyfriend now forever. Joe.
229
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,001
- What's he do?
- He's a...
230
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:12,878
He's a lumberjack, by trade.
231
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:15,416
Ahem, and he has brown hair.
232
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,680
And he's rich. Hmm.
233
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,591
He sounds great.
234
00:12:23,759 --> 00:12:26,557
I have to go. Now.
235
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,425
- It was nice to meet you.
- I don't care.
236
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,517
Damn it.
237
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,287
Am I getting fired?
238
00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:04,231
Not if you answer this question correctly.
239
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:11,272
Do you think that I put Richard
in Westbridge School for him or for me?
240
00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:15,110
For you. No, no, for him.
241
00:13:15,277 --> 00:13:20,579
Uh, for you?
Oh, I don't know. This job is so hard.
242
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,808
You hand out towels.
243
00:13:24,186 --> 00:13:26,882
Oh, damn, the towels.
244
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,997
Don't stop, you've only got 30 minutes.
245
00:13:40,002 --> 00:13:41,469
Can I talk to you for a minute?
246
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:45,904
What? What do you want?
247
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,407
Look, she had to wait in the car
because we had a date.
248
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,512
Then you called, and I wanted
to come to Little's first day of school.
249
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,170
- Yes, of course, but...
- Can I finish?
250
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,579
- But I just wanna...
- Can I finish?
251
00:13:56,652 --> 00:14:01,351
And it was too late to cancel plans
with New... Young... My...
252
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:04,257
- There's no good version.
- No.
253
00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:09,320
I didn't want you to find out
about her like that.
254
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:12,524
And the thing I said about Little's school
and your ego, that wasn't fair.
255
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:15,966
I know you're doing
what you think is best for him. I just...
256
00:14:16,138 --> 00:14:17,765
You sort of accused me
of being a bad dad.
257
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:24,436
Well, ha, because you were making out
in the parking lot!
258
00:14:26,882 --> 00:14:28,543
She started it.
259
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,856
- Christine thinks you're nice.
- Nice? God.
260
00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:39,825
- I did everything but bite her.
- Well, she's nice. Maybe she got confused.
261
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,591
- Are you okay?
- Me? Oh, yeah.
262
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:45,756
[CHRISTINE SCOFFS]
263
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,232
Are you kidding me? I'm fine.
264
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,668
You know, I got my own guy, so...
265
00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:53,136
The lumberjack.
266
00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:58,238
Yeah. Man, is he into me.
267
00:14:58,614 --> 00:15:02,914
I'll tell you, when a lumberjack
loves you, he loves you.
268
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,581
- What?
- What?
269
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:13,690
Yeah, okay, there's no lumberjack.
270
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:18,196
Really? Man, it's so hard to tell
when you're lying.
271
00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:22,769
I haven't even considered dating yet.
272
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:27,035
I'm still wearing my maternity underwear.
273
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:32,171
- You're kidding.
- They're very comfortable.
274
00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:36,443
What are you waiting for, Christine?
Oh, wait.
275
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:38,052
CHRISTINE:
What?
276
00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:39,776
It's me.
277
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:44,457
I'm still in there, aren't I?
278
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,460
Oh, my God.
279
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:51,361
[LAUGHING]
Did you...? Did you just say that?
280
00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:56,563
Oh, no, no, no. I mean, I'm sorry.
281
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:59,333
But, no offense. But, honey, no.
282
00:16:00,075 --> 00:16:03,670
Seriously, I mean, the best thing
that I can say about being married to you...
283
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:06,872
...is that you are a fantastic ex-husband.
284
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,574
Baby, you gotta let me go.
285
00:16:11,186 --> 00:16:16,089
And, God,
dating is such a horrifying thought.
286
00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:21,218
You know?
I mean, the small talk and the nudity.
287
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:26,429
I have to stand on my head
to make my boobs look good.
288
00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:31,366
And why do you have to fool around
with somebody so young?
289
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,939
That doesn't help me.
290
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:35,970
Kind of helps me. Sorry, sorry.
291
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:37,776
Sorry.
292
00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:42,212
But, Christine, I'm not fooling around.
293
00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:44,182
I'm serious about her.
294
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:47,588
Oh, you're serious?
295
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:51,788
Well, that's...
296
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,028
That's good.
297
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:58,531
Because I'm serious
with my boyfriend too.
298
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,302
We just established
you didn't have a boyfriend.
299
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,665
Yeah, I'm back on him.
300
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:11,135
Just for the record,
your boobs are fantastic upright.
301
00:17:11,313 --> 00:17:13,008
You wish.
302
00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,742
- I don't even know what that means.
- No.
303
00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:28,220
Richard, help her find the door,
for God's sakes.
304
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:34,900
You know, I'm trying really hard to be cool,
but it's hot in that car.
305
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,070
I don't get what your relationship is...
306
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,175
...because you spend a lot
of time together for divorced people.
307
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,605
My parents were divorced...
308
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:46,236
...and the only way they communicated
was by putting notes in my lunch box.
309
00:17:46,415 --> 00:17:49,384
So is there something going on
between you?
310
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:52,520
Oh, no.
No, there's nothing going on here.
311
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,589
Oh, okay.
312
00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:58,326
Yeah, that's what I thought.
313
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:03,130
Uh, listen, ahem, I have to apologize
for my behavior this morning.
314
00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:05,528
I was very rude.
315
00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:08,067
Oh, really? I thought you were nice.
316
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,536
Okay, I, uh...
317
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,208
Well, I'm gonna go... I'll wait in the car.
318
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,578
Are we done here?
319
00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:29,919
Looks like.
320
00:18:30,092 --> 00:18:31,286
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]
321
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,996
So I'll see you at the soccer game?
322
00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,064
- I'll save you a seat.
- Yep.
323
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:43,061
MATTHEW: What are those?
- Underwear.
324
00:18:43,238 --> 00:18:45,103
For how many people?
325
00:18:49,411 --> 00:18:52,209
- Are you okay?
- Why?
326
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,645
Well, when I see someone
throwing out their underwear...
327
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:59,845
...it's either a cry for help or a desperate
valentine for the garbage man.
328
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:02,616
Is anyone gonna wanna go out with me?
329
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:04,656
Are you kidding?
You got nothing to worry about.
330
00:19:04,827 --> 00:19:06,795
- Oh, thanks, Matthew.
- No, no.
331
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:09,522
Come on,
we'll scare up someone for you.
332
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,828
Hey, you know my friend Ugly Larry?
333
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,295
Is that that weird guy who used
to follow me around in high school?
334
00:19:17,606 --> 00:19:19,540
Yeah, he can call me.
335
00:19:31,954 --> 00:19:35,446
Ritchie, you don't have to go
to this school if you hate it.
336
00:19:35,624 --> 00:19:39,890
I mean, I know you miss Julian,
and black people.
337
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:44,590
And even though I thought I was pushing
this whole private-school thing for you...
338
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,530
...I might've actually been sort of
over-investing in your life...
339
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:50,866
...so that I wouldn't have to start my own,
which is completely wrong.
340
00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:52,597
It's not what a mom is supposed to do.
341
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,572
So if you really do hate it,
honey, Ritchie?
342
00:19:55,744 --> 00:19:58,008
Ritchie, do you have any idea
what I'm talking about?
343
00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:03,147
- PMS?
- No, not PMS.
344
00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:04,910
I should never have told you
about PMS...
345
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:09,114
...because now you think
that's the reason for everything, it's not.
346
00:20:09,591 --> 00:20:14,460
Well, it's the reason for a lot of things,
but not everything.
347
00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:18,631
Honey, I'm trying to tell you something.
348
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:24,304
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm sorry, okay?
349
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:28,876
And, um, you know,
I'm just doing the best I can here.
350
00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:30,639
Okay.
351
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,843
Okay.
352
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:41,449
I get to learn an instrument.
353
00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:43,989
I'm picking the saxophone.
354
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,390
Riley picked the trumpet,
so we might be a band.
355
00:20:47,562 --> 00:20:49,154
Riley? Who's Riley?
356
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,266
My friend.
My other friends are Cole and Jack.
357
00:20:52,434 --> 00:20:55,562
- Friends? You have friends?
- Yeah.
358
00:20:56,371 --> 00:20:58,965
Yeah. So, what else?
359
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:01,837
- Well, I thought I would be behind in math.
- Right.
360
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,807
But they haven't even done
their sevens yet.
361
00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:07,346
- What?
- Mrs. Belt let me write them on the board.
362
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,177
She's nice.
363
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,945
- She is?
- Yeah.
364
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:16,312
- So, honey, was it okay?
- I like it.
365
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,250
[CHRISTINE LAUGHS]
366
00:21:55,263 --> 00:21:57,254
[ENGLISH SDH]
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