1
00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:22,031
Hi, it's me. Message to myself.

2
00:00:22,205 --> 00:00:23,194
[CHUCKLES]

3
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:26,365
A few things. Uh, put extra money
in Ritchie's lunch for a snack...

4
00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:31,139
...buy milk, buy wine,
find weird smell in living room.

5
00:00:31,314 --> 00:00:33,248
Botox, maybe, I don't know.

6
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:35,816
Stop taking Nyquil,
I think it's keeping you up.

7
00:00:35,985 --> 00:00:39,216
Okay. Yeah, that's it.
Thank you very much.

8
00:00:39,389 --> 00:00:42,756
You know what?
No, no Botox, that's gross.

9
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:47,022
Who are you?
Learn to love yourself, for God's sakes.

10
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,325
Okay, yeah, that's it.
Um, have a good night, ha.

11
00:00:53,837 --> 00:00:56,431
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
Sent today at 2:57 a.m.

12
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:57,595
[PHONE BEEPS]

13
00:00:57,774 --> 00:00:59,105
CHRISTINE [ON MACHINE]:
Yeah, hi.

14
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:03,541
Uh, fix sprinklers, put pictures
in photo album, stop eating sugar.

15
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,705
It's no replacement for love. Heh.

16
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:10,319
Buy more Nyquil.
That's it. Thank you very much.

17
00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:12,416
Why do you always thank yourself?

18
00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:18,056
Because sometimes there are whole days
when I'm the only one who's polite to me.

19
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:20,753
Oh, sad.

20
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:23,398
Yeah, it is.

21
00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:27,197
So it's an exciting day.

22
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,429
Exciting new school.

23
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:32,074
- Are you excited?
- No.

24
00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:36,736
Oh, don't say no.
You are excited. It's very exciting.

25
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:41,373
Three hundred kids applied to your school.
Only two got in, and you're one of them.

26
00:01:41,551 --> 00:01:43,018
- Why?
- Why?

27
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,212
Honey, because you're smart,
and you're friendly...

28
00:01:46,389 --> 00:01:51,224
...and if anyone asks,
you're one-sixteenth Native American.

29
00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:55,296
I don't wanna go to a private school.
I wanna stay in school with Julian.

30
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,865
Oh, come on, pal,
this is a great opportunity.

31
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,800
Going to a school we can't afford,
with people we've never met?

32
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:03,199
Lt'll...

33
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,364
It's better.

34
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,270
- I don't wanna be better than Julian.
- Well, that's not what I'm saying.

35
00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:13,006
I'm saying that the school is better.
Not you.

36
00:02:13,183 --> 00:02:15,845
And I don't wanna catch you
turning into a snob, either.

37
00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:18,146
All right? You're not better than anyone.

38
00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:20,152
What about murderers?

39
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:23,217
- What?
- Am I better than murderers?

40
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:26,361
Well, yeah, honey, of course,
you're better than murderers.

41
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:27,826
But nobody else.

42
00:02:27,997 --> 00:02:30,591
- What about racists?
- All right.

43
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,502
You're better than racists,
and you're better than murderers...

44
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,467
...but that's it.

45
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:38,330
I heard racist.
You talking about Grandpa?

46
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:41,375
No, Uncle Matthew,
we're talking about Ritchie's new school...

47
00:02:41,544 --> 00:02:44,911
...and how much fun it's gonna be,
because they've got a brand-new gym...

48
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,606
...and they have a music program,
and they have a science lab.

49
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:49,751
And a giant wall
to keep out the poor people.

50
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,819
And a snack bar.

51
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:55,146
Okay, go upstairs,
put your uniform on, okay, sweetie?

52
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:56,917
Daddy's gonna meet us at school.

53
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,653
Then he's coming over for pizza.
Maybe we'll watch a movie.

54
00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,456
- Cool.
- Hmm.

55
00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:05,362
- You and Richard have a weird divorce.
- It's not weird, it's great.

56
00:03:05,535 --> 00:03:06,524
[SCOFFS]

57
00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:08,762
My divorce is better
than most people's marriages.

58
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:13,170
We get along, we spend time together
as a family. Nothing's really changed.

59
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:17,336
- Then why didn't you just stay married?
- Because, Matthew, it's complicated.

60
00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:21,548
My marriage was like a game
of hide-and-seek...

61
00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:24,278
...where both of us hid,
and nobody seeked.

62
00:03:25,388 --> 00:03:27,219
Sought.

63
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:29,483
Slept together.

64
00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,622
Nothing's really changed.

65
00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:45,374
Why is everyone's car
so much bigger than ours?

66
00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:49,672
Because they don't believe
in themselves.

67
00:03:51,247 --> 00:03:53,772
Do we believe in ourselves?

68
00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,950
Look at our car.

69
00:03:57,086 --> 00:03:59,077
[CHATTERING]

70
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,818
Okay.

71
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,791
Well, this is nice.

72
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:10,797
Nice desks. Lookit, nice artwork.

73
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:13,800
- Where are the black kids?
- Shh!

74
00:04:20,276 --> 00:04:24,838
Don't. Don't say that.
There was one in the brochure.

75
00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:30,208
I'm sure he's around here somewhere.

76
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:34,485
WOMAN 1: Hello.
CHRISTINE: Hi.

77
00:04:34,657 --> 00:04:36,750
- I don't know you.
CHRISTINE: Oh.

78
00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:39,156
We're new. Hi, I'm Christine Campbell.

79
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,388
Hi, Marly Ehrhardt.
Ashley third, Nicky first.

80
00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:42,553
WOMAN 2:
Mm-hm.

81
00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:45,462
Lindsay. Kelsey third,
Sammy fourth, Jackson pre-K.

82
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,693
I, uh...

83
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,635
I don't know what you're saying to me.

84
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:55,475
I'm Marly, I'm the room parent
for this class. So I will be, you know...

85
00:04:55,645 --> 00:04:57,374
...collecting for holiday parties...
- Right.

86
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,344
...hitting you up
for volunteer assignments...

87
00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:01,949
...you know, basically being
your general pain in the B-U-T-T.

88
00:05:02,118 --> 00:05:03,107
[LINDSAY CHUCKLES]

89
00:05:03,286 --> 00:05:05,720
I'll say. And, um...

90
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,116
And I'm Lindsay.

91
00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:10,282
I was room parent last year,
but my Sammy got ranked in junior tennis...

92
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,360
...so I'm short on time this year.

93
00:05:12,528 --> 00:05:15,986
Oh, good for you. You got
"ranked in tennis" in the first sentence.

94
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:18,096
Well, he is. He's ranked. I can't help it.

95
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:19,256
[CHUCKLES]

96
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,832
- Anyway, welcome to Westbridge.
- Thank you.

97
00:05:24,007 --> 00:05:26,703
We would say the best way
to get involved would be by volunteering...

98
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:29,538
...and, you know, spending
as much time at the school as possible...

99
00:05:29,712 --> 00:05:31,179
...but, um, we hear that you work.

100
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:35,343
I, uh... Yes.

101
00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:37,383
- Oh.
- What do you do?

102
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,952
Um, ahem, uh, I own a gym.

103
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:45,755
Um, it's, um, one in a chain of women-only
30-minute workout places.

104
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,862
Who would want a 30-minute workout?

105
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,931
What would I do
with the rest of my day?

106
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,760
[ALL CHUCKLING]

107
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,528
Oh, there's Richard's dad,
so I'm gonna get out of here.

108
00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:56,672
CHRISTINE: Ha, ha.
MARLY: Okay.

109
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,363
RICHARD:
Hey, Little.

110
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:01,237
- How's my third-grader?
- I look like a dork in this uniform.

111
00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:03,242
- Yeah, you kind of do.
CHRISTINE: No, no, no.

112
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,506
Richard, don't say that.
That doesn't help me.

113
00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:08,514
Sorry. Cool pants.
What are those, rayon?

114
00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,314
- Hi.
- Hi. Hey.

115
00:06:11,487 --> 00:06:12,579
[CHRISTINE CHUCKLES]

116
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:15,952
- Why are you so dressed up?
- Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?

117
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,526
It's my day off. Plus, I wanted everyone
to know I went to Lake Tahoe.

118
00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,695
Oh, no. Presents?

119
00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:28,894
They were supposed to bring presents?
Uh, we didn't bring a present.

120
00:06:29,072 --> 00:06:32,098
- I'm sure it doesn't matter.
- Well, of course, it matters, Richard.

121
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:35,369
He's new. I work. We're divorced.

122
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:39,914
They're already looking at us like we're
the project family the church sent over.

123
00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,812
All right, you know what?
Stay here. I'm gonna fix this.

124
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,216
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know, probably lie.

125
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,879
Don't ever lie.

126
00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:50,714
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]

127
00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:53,828
- Um, hi. You must be Mrs. Belt?
- Yes.

128
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,625
Hi. Ha. I'm Christine Campbell,
I'm Richard Campbell's mom.

129
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,597
- Oh, yes.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.

130
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:00,758
[BOTH LAUGH]

131
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:05,340
Um, I have to apologize,
because your gift...

132
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,140
...has been delayed.

133
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:10,343
- Delayed?
- Well, yes.

134
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:16,611
Um, it's just that it was, um,
so big that it had to be shipped.

135
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,981
And you should've heard me scream
at these people, because l...

136
00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:23,489
- You know, uh, Mrs. Campbell.
- Yes?

137
00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:29,256
Parents lavish me with all sorts of presents,
and one thing always seems to be true.

138
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:34,631
The nicer the present,
the meaner the child.

139
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,198
God bless you, Mrs. Belt.

140
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,533
[MRS. BELT CHUCKLES]

141
00:07:39,242 --> 00:07:40,641
- Okay.
- Excuse me.

142
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:42,505
- Okay.
- All right, parents.

143
00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:44,873
I need to say goodbye
to your students now.

144
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,880
It's time to start the third grade.

145
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,018
[MOUTHS]
Oh, my God.

146
00:07:51,154 --> 00:07:53,952
God, I am so proud of you already.

147
00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:55,112
I really am.

148
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:56,622
[KISSING]

149
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,029
- Okay.
RITCHIE: Bye, Mom.

150
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:03,097
RICHARD: Come on.
- Bye-bye. Have fun. I love you.

151
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:05,393
You know what?
I'm gonna give you one more little kiss.

152
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,557
[KISSING]

153
00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:10,695
RICHARD:
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

154
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:13,537
- Bye. I love you.
RICHARD: Bye.

155
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:14,937
- Have fun.
RITCHIE: See you.

156
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:17,306
Have fun. I love you, I love you.

157
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,139
[CHRISTINE SIGHS]

158
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:23,751
Oh, my God.

159
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,184
- You wanna have breakfast?
- I already ate.

160
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:27,686
- Oh.
- Stopped at Denny's.

161
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:28,983
Had the Moons Over My Hammy.

162
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,649
[CHRISTINE LAUGHING]

163
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:34,557
And, uh, I've got errands,
so, uh, I'll call you later.

164
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:35,992
- Okay. All right. Mwah.
- Okay.

165
00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:38,156
RICHARD: Bye.
- Bye. See you.

166
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,499
Oh...

167
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,508
- Your ex seems sweet.
CHRISTINE: Yeah.

168
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,838
How long has it been
since he divorced you?

169
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:53,345
Uh, going on two years,
but it was mutual.

170
00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:54,915
MARLY and LINDSAY:
Uh-huh.

171
00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,950
No, no, no. I mean, it's great actually.

172
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,578
We get along, we spend time together
as a family, you know.

173
00:09:01,757 --> 00:09:04,988
It's better than most people's marriages.
Nothing's really changed.

174
00:09:05,161 --> 00:09:06,890
And where does his girlfriend
fit into that?

175
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,197
- Excuse me?
- We just met her out in the parking lot.

176
00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:12,129
He had the poor thing waiting in the car.

177
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,427
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

178
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:14,831
MARLY and LINDSAY:
Oh, no.

179
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,234
You did know he was seeing someone,
didn't you?

180
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:22,542
Oh, yes. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

181
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,304
Of course, yes. I knew that. Yes.

182
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:29,816
That is something that I certainly
did know of, that. Mm-hm.

183
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,141
LINDSAY:
Good, good.

184
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,309
[ALL CHUCKLE]

185
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,285
So is it hard that she's so young?

186
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,119
- And she has to be adorable, right?
- Adorable.

187
00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,961
Well, what good is young
without adorable?

188
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,927
MARLY:
Yeah.

189
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,759
I would think the weirdest part
would be that her name is Christine.

190
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,438
Say what?

191
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:56,338
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like
she's the New Christine.

192
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:57,536
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

193
00:09:57,713 --> 00:10:00,113
Which, I guess, would
make you the, uh, Old Christine.

194
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:01,648
Oh, yeah.

195
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:04,450
Old Christine?

196
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,588
Old Christine.

197
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:10,121
- Ugh, I would die.
- Me too.

198
00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:12,284
[MARLY and LINDSAY GIGGLING]

199
00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:40,749
Hey!

200
00:10:40,923 --> 00:10:44,791
- What the hell are you doing?
- What am I doing? What are you doing?

201
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:47,986
Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, man.

202
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:50,029
Well, I guess you're meeting.

203
00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:53,327
Um, Christine, this is Christine.

204
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:54,833
NEW CHRISTINE:
Hi, Christine.

205
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:56,835
I know. Same name.

206
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:59,668
You can call me Chrissy,
so it doesn't get confusing.

207
00:10:59,842 --> 00:11:01,070
Yeah, thanks.

208
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,212
I probably won't get confused
about my own name.

209
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:06,007
I'm sorry you had to meet like this.

210
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:08,082
Oh, you mean here
in front of our son's school...

211
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,115
...where I'm trying to make
a good impression...

212
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,083
...and not get kicked out
in the first week...

213
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:16,520
...because my ex is whoring around
in the parking lot in his Chevy?

214
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:20,219
Oh, no, no, don't be silly.
This is an absolutely ideal way to meet.

215
00:11:20,396 --> 00:11:23,524
I'm also really sorry about this.
I've heard so much about you.

216
00:11:23,699 --> 00:11:27,396
I mean, Richard just goes on and on
about what a great mom you are.

217
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:29,736
I don't care.

218
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,940
Richard, it would be so nice...

219
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,272
...if once you would put our son's needs
ahead of your own.

220
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,276
- Oh, like you?
- Excuse me?

221
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,938
What in the living hell
is that supposed to mean?

222
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,780
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego than for Little Richard's future.

223
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,285
What? What?

224
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,753
This school is more for the well-being
of your ego...

225
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:50,186
I heard you, Richard.

226
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:54,853
Look, I needed to move on.
I think it's time for you to move on too.

227
00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:59,864
For your information, Richard,
I have moved on.

228
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:03,698
I have had a boyfriend now forever. Joe.

229
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,001
- What's he do?
- He's a...

230
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:12,878
He's a lumberjack, by trade.

231
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:15,416
Ahem, and he has brown hair.

232
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,680
And he's rich. Hmm.

233
00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,591
He sounds great.

234
00:12:23,759 --> 00:12:26,557
I have to go. Now.

235
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,425
- It was nice to meet you.
- I don't care.

236
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,517
Damn it.

237
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,287
Am I getting fired?

238
00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:04,231
Not if you answer this question correctly.

239
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:11,272
Do you think that I put Richard
in Westbridge School for him or for me?

240
00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:15,110
For you. No, no, for him.

241
00:13:15,277 --> 00:13:20,579
Uh, for you?
Oh, I don't know. This job is so hard.

242
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,808
You hand out towels.

243
00:13:24,186 --> 00:13:26,882
Oh, damn, the towels.

244
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,997
Don't stop, you've only got 30 minutes.

245
00:13:40,002 --> 00:13:41,469
Can I talk to you for a minute?

246
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:45,904
What? What do you want?

247
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,407
Look, she had to wait in the car
because we had a date.

248
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,512
Then you called, and I wanted
to come to Little's first day of school.

249
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,170
- Yes, of course, but...
- Can I finish?

250
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,579
- But I just wanna...
- Can I finish?

251
00:13:56,652 --> 00:14:01,351
And it was too late to cancel plans
with New... Young... My...

252
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:04,257
- There's no good version.
- No.

253
00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:09,320
I didn't want you to find out
about her like that.

254
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:12,524
And the thing I said about Little's school
and your ego, that wasn't fair.

255
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:15,966
I know you're doing
what you think is best for him. I just...

256
00:14:16,138 --> 00:14:17,765
You sort of accused me
of being a bad dad.

257
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:24,436
Well, ha, because you were making out
in the parking lot!

258
00:14:26,882 --> 00:14:28,543
She started it.

259
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,856
- Christine thinks you're nice.
- Nice? God.

260
00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:39,825
- I did everything but bite her.
- Well, she's nice. Maybe she got confused.

261
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,591
- Are you okay?
- Me? Oh, yeah.

262
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:45,756
[CHRISTINE SCOFFS]

263
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,232
Are you kidding me? I'm fine.

264
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,668
You know, I got my own guy, so...

265
00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:53,136
The lumberjack.

266
00:14:54,677 --> 00:14:58,238
Yeah. Man, is he into me.

267
00:14:58,614 --> 00:15:02,914
I'll tell you, when a lumberjack
loves you, he loves you.

268
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,581
- What?
- What?

269
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:13,690
Yeah, okay, there's no lumberjack.

270
00:15:13,862 --> 00:15:18,196
Really? Man, it's so hard to tell
when you're lying.

271
00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:22,769
I haven't even considered dating yet.

272
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:27,035
I'm still wearing my maternity underwear.

273
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:32,171
- You're kidding.
- They're very comfortable.

274
00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:36,443
What are you waiting for, Christine?
Oh, wait.

275
00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:38,052
CHRISTINE:
What?

276
00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:39,776
It's me.

277
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:44,457
I'm still in there, aren't I?

278
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:47,460
Oh, my God.

279
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:51,361
[LAUGHING]
Did you...? Did you just say that?

280
00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:56,563
Oh, no, no, no. I mean, I'm sorry.

281
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:59,333
But, no offense. But, honey, no.

282
00:16:00,075 --> 00:16:03,670
Seriously, I mean, the best thing
that I can say about being married to you...

283
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:06,872
...is that you are a fantastic ex-husband.

284
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,574
Baby, you gotta let me go.

285
00:16:11,186 --> 00:16:16,089
And, God,
dating is such a horrifying thought.

286
00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:21,218
You know?
I mean, the small talk and the nudity.

287
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:26,429
I have to stand on my head
to make my boobs look good.

288
00:16:28,704 --> 00:16:31,366
And why do you have to fool around
with somebody so young?

289
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,939
That doesn't help me.

290
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:35,970
Kind of helps me. Sorry, sorry.

291
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:37,776
Sorry.

292
00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:42,212
But, Christine, I'm not fooling around.

293
00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:44,182
I'm serious about her.

294
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:47,588
Oh, you're serious?

295
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:51,788
Well, that's...

296
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,028
That's good.

297
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:58,531
Because I'm serious
with my boyfriend too.

298
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,302
We just established
you didn't have a boyfriend.

299
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,665
Yeah, I'm back on him.

300
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:11,135
Just for the record,
your boobs are fantastic upright.

301
00:17:11,313 --> 00:17:13,008
You wish.

302
00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,742
- I don't even know what that means.
- No.

303
00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:28,220
Richard, help her find the door,
for God's sakes.

304
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:34,900
You know, I'm trying really hard to be cool,
but it's hot in that car.

305
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,070
I don't get what your relationship is...

306
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,175
...because you spend a lot
of time together for divorced people.

307
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,605
My parents were divorced...

308
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:46,236
...and the only way they communicated
was by putting notes in my lunch box.

309
00:17:46,415 --> 00:17:49,384
So is there something going on
between you?

310
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:52,520
Oh, no.
No, there's nothing going on here.

311
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,589
Oh, okay.

312
00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:58,326
Yeah, that's what I thought.

313
00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:03,130
Uh, listen, ahem, I have to apologize
for my behavior this morning.

314
00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:05,528
I was very rude.

315
00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:08,067
Oh, really? I thought you were nice.

316
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,536
Okay, I, uh...

317
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,208
Well, I'm gonna go... I'll wait in the car.

318
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,578
Are we done here?

319
00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:29,919
Looks like.

320
00:18:30,092 --> 00:18:31,286
[CHRISTINE CLEARS THRO AT]

321
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,996
So I'll see you at the soccer game?

322
00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,064
- I'll save you a seat.
- Yep.

323
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:43,061
MATTHEW: What are those?
- Underwear.

324
00:18:43,238 --> 00:18:45,103
For how many people?

325
00:18:49,411 --> 00:18:52,209
- Are you okay?
- Why?

326
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,645
Well, when I see someone
throwing out their underwear...

327
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:59,845
...it's either a cry for help or a desperate
valentine for the garbage man.

328
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:02,616
Is anyone gonna wanna go out with me?

329
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:04,656
Are you kidding?
You got nothing to worry about.

330
00:19:04,827 --> 00:19:06,795
- Oh, thanks, Matthew.
- No, no.

331
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:09,522
Come on,
we'll scare up someone for you.

332
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,828
Hey, you know my friend Ugly Larry?

333
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,295
Is that that weird guy who used
to follow me around in high school?

334
00:19:17,606 --> 00:19:19,540
Yeah, he can call me.

335
00:19:31,954 --> 00:19:35,446
Ritchie, you don't have to go
to this school if you hate it.

336
00:19:35,624 --> 00:19:39,890
I mean, I know you miss Julian,
and black people.

337
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:44,590
And even though I thought I was pushing
this whole private-school thing for you...

338
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,530
...I might've actually been sort of
over-investing in your life...

339
00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:50,866
...so that I wouldn't have to start my own,
which is completely wrong.

340
00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:52,597
It's not what a mom is supposed to do.

341
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,572
So if you really do hate it,
honey, Ritchie?

342
00:19:55,744 --> 00:19:58,008
Ritchie, do you have any idea
what I'm talking about?

343
00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:03,147
- PMS?
- No, not PMS.

344
00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:04,910
I should never have told you
about PMS...

345
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:09,114
...because now you think
that's the reason for everything, it's not.

346
00:20:09,591 --> 00:20:14,460
Well, it's the reason for a lot of things,
but not everything.

347
00:20:16,231 --> 00:20:18,631
Honey, I'm trying to tell you something.

348
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:24,304
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm sorry, okay?

349
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:28,876
And, um, you know,
I'm just doing the best I can here.

350
00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:30,639
Okay.

351
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,843
Okay.

352
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:41,449
I get to learn an instrument.

353
00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:43,989
I'm picking the saxophone.

354
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,390
Riley picked the trumpet,
so we might be a band.

355
00:20:47,562 --> 00:20:49,154
Riley? Who's Riley?

356
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,266
My friend.
My other friends are Cole and Jack.

357
00:20:52,434 --> 00:20:55,562
- Friends? You have friends?
- Yeah.

358
00:20:56,371 --> 00:20:58,965
Yeah. So, what else?

359
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:01,837
- Well, I thought I would be behind in math.
- Right.

360
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,807
But they haven't even done
their sevens yet.

361
00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:07,346
- What?
- Mrs. Belt let me write them on the board.

362
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,177
She's nice.

363
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,945
- She is?
- Yeah.

364
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:16,312
- So, honey, was it okay?
- I like it.

365
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,250
[CHRISTINE LAUGHS]

366
00:21:55,263 --> 00:21:57,254
[ENGLISH SDH]