Original subtitles

MAN ON TV: (FRENCH ACCEN T) Although each of the world's countries

would like to dispute this fact,

we French know the truth:

The best food in the world is made in France.

The best food in France is made in Paris.

And the best food in Paris, some say, is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.

Gusteau's restaurant is the toast of Paris,

booked five months in advance.

And his dazzling ascent to the top of fine French cuisine

has made his competitors envious.

He is the youngest chef ever to achieve a five-star rating.

Chef Gusteau's cookbook, Anyone Can Cook!

Climbed to the top of the bestseller list.

But not everyone celebrates its success.

Amusing title, Anyone Can Cook!

What's even more amusing is that Gusteau actually seems to believe it.

I, on the other hand, take cooking seriously.

And, no, I don't think anyone can do it.

(GUN FIRING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(CLATTERING)

REMY: This is me.

I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life a little bit.

What's my problem?

First of all, I'm a rat.

Which means life is hard.

And second, I have a highly developed sense of taste and smell.

(SNIFFING)

Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean...

Oh! Small twist of lemon.

Whoa, you can smell all that? You have a gift.

REMY: This is Emile, my brother. He's easily impressed.

So you can smell ingredients? So what?

This is my dad. He's never impressed.

He also happens to be the leader of our clan.

So, what's wrong with having highly developed senses?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't eat that! - What's going on here?

Turns out that funny smell was rat poison.

Suddenly, Dad didn't think my talent was useless.

I was feeling pretty good about my gift,

until Dad gave me a job.

Clean.

Clean.

That's right. Poison checker.

Cleanerific.

Cleanerino.

Close to godliness.

Which means clean. You know, cleanliness is close to...

Never mind. Move on.

Well, it made my dad proud.

Now, don't you feel better, Remy? You've helped a noble cause.

Noble? We're thieves, Dad.

And what we're stealing is, let's face it, garbage.

It isn't stealing if no one wants it.

If no one wants it, why are we stealing it?

(LECTURING)

Let's just say we have different points of view.

This much I knew:

If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.

But to my dad...

Food is fuel.

You get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine is gonna die.

Now shut up and eat your garbage.

Look, if we're going to be thieves,

why not steal the good stuff in the kitchen,

where nothing is poisoned?

First of all, we are not thieves.

Secondly, stay out of the kitchen and away from the humans.

It's dangerous.

REMY: I know I'm supposed to hate humans,

but there's something about them.

They don't just survive. They discover, they create.

I mean, just look at what they do with food.

GUS TEAU ON TV: How can I describe it?

Good food is like music you can taste, color you can smell.

There is excellence all around you.

You need only be aware to stop and savor it.

REMY: Oh, Gusteau was right.

Oh, mmm, yeah.

Oh, amazing.

Each flavor was totally unique.

But combine one flavor with another,

and something new was created.

(GASPS)

So now I had a secret life.

(GASPS)

(CACKLING)

The only one who knew about it was Emile.

(WHISPERING FIERCELY) Hey, Emile. Emile.

I found a mushroom.

Come on, you're good at hiding food. Help me find a good place to put this.

He doesn't understand me, but I can be myself around him.

Why are you walking like that?

I don't want to constantly have to wash my paws.

Did you ever think about how we walk on the same paws

that we handle food with?

You ever think about what we put into our mouths?

All the time.

When I eat, I don't want to taste everywhere my paws have been.

Well, go ahead.

But if Dad sees you walking like that, he's not going to like it.

(SNIFFING)

What have you got there?

Ah, oh, oh...

(CHUCKLING)

You found cheese?

And not just any cheese. Tomme de ch�vre de pays!

That would go beautifully with my mushroom.

And...

(STUTTERING)

This rosemary! This rosemary

with maybe with a few drops from this sweet grass.

Well, throw it on the pile, I guess, and then we'II... You know...

We don't want to throw this in with the garbage. This is special.

But we're supposed to return to the colony

before sundown or, you know, Dad's gonna...

Emile!

There are possibilities unexplored here.

We got to cook this.

Now, exactly how we cook this is the real question...

Yeah.

The key is to keep turning it.

Get the smoky flavor nice and even.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

That storm's getting closer.

Hey, Remy, you think that maybe we shouldn't be so...

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(MOANING)

(MUNCHING)

You got to taste this!

This is... It's got this kind of... It's burny, melty...

It's not really a smoky taste. It's a certain... It's kind of like a...

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

It's got, like, this "ba-boom, zap" kind of taste. Don't you think?

- What would you call that flavor? - (HESITANTLY) Lightning-y?

Yeah. It's lightning-y! We got to do that again.

Okay, when the next storm comes, we'll go up on the roof...

I know what this needs! Saffron! A little saffron would make this!

Saffron. Why do I get the feeling

- it's in the kitchen? - It's in the kitchen.

(SNORING)

(BOTTLES CLINKING)

- REMY: Saffron. - Not good.

Saffron.

Don't like it. She's gonna wake up.

I've been down here a million times.

She turns on the cooking channel, boom, she never wakes up.

You've been here a million times?

I'm telling you, saffron will be just the thing. Gusteau swears by it.

Okay. Who's Gusteau?

Just the greatest chef in the world. Wrote this cookbook.

(STAMMERING) Wait. You read?

- Well, not excessively. - Oh, man. Does Dad know?

(SCOFFS) You could fill a book, a lot of books, with things Dad doesn't know.

And they have, which is why I read. Which is also our secret.

I don't like secrets.

(STUTTERING) All this cooking and reading and TV-watching

while we read and cook.

It's like you're involving me in crime, and I let you.

Why do I let you?

What's taking those kids so long?

Ah, I'Aquila saffron. Italian. Huh?

Gusteau says it's excellent. Good thing the old lady is a food love...

GUS TEAU ON TV: Forget mystique. This is about your cooking.

Hey! That's Gusteau. Emile, look.

Great cooking is not for the faint of heart.

Great cooking is not for the faint of heart.

You must be imaginative, strong hearted.

You must try things that may not work.

And you must not let anyone define your limits

because of where you come from.

Your only limit is your soul.

What I say is true. Anyone can cook. But only the fearless can be great.

Pure poetry.

REPORTER: But it was not to last.

Gusteau's restaurant lost one of its five stars

after a scathing review by France's top food critic, Anton Ego.

It was a severe blow to Gusteau,

and the brokenhearted chef died shortly afterwards,

which, according to tradition, meant the loss of another star.

Gusteau is dead?

Oh!

(SQUEAKING)

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Run!

No, you'll lead her to the colony!

(GASPS)

(CLICKING)

(GASPS)

- Help, Remy, help! - Emile! Start swinging the light!

- Help, Remy, help! - Emile! Start swinging the light!

(SQUEAKING)

Try to grab you.

(GRUMBLING)

Emile, swing to me.

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

(EX CLAIMS)

(SIGHS)

(CRACKING)

(CREAKING)

(RATS SQUEAKING)

(SCREAMING)

Evacuate! Everyone, to the boats.

(ALL CLAMORING)

- RAT: Let me through! - The book.

- RAT: Let me through! - The book.

Excuse me. Move, move.

(AIR HISSING)

(WHIMPERING)

Go, go, go, go. Move, move, move.

Get the bridge up! Move it, move it!

FEMALE RAT: Hey, Johnny! Hurry!

Push off. Come on.

Get hold!

(GRUNTING)

- Take the baby. Here! - Give me your paw.

Hey, wait for me!

(THUNDER CRACKING)

Is everybody here? Do we have everybody?

- Wait a minute. Where's Remy? - Right here. I'm coming.

I'm coming!

Hold on, Son. Give him something to grab on to.

Come on, boy. Paddle, Son.

Come on. Reach for it.

You can do it.

(GUNSHOT)

- Remy! - Dad!

Come on. You can make it. You can make it.

(GUNSHOT)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Guys, wait. Stop!

Remy. Come on. Paddle.

Hold on! Wait for me. Hold on.

(RATS SCREAMING)

Dad?

Dad?

Which way?

(WATER ROARING)

(GASPING)

(GASPING)

(WATER DRIPPING)

REMY: I waited

for a sound,

a voice,

a sign,

something.

(STOMACH GROWLING)

(STOMACH GROWLING)

(SIGHS)

If you are hungry, go up and look around, Remy.

Why do you wait and mope?

Well, I've just lost my family, all my friends,

probably forever.

- How do you know? - Well, I...

You are an illustration. Why am I talking to you?

Well, you just lost your family, all your friends. You are Ionely.

Yeah. Well, you're dead.

Ah, but that is no match for wishful thinking.

If you focus on what you've left behind,

you'll never be able to see what lies ahead.

Now go up and look around.

(SNIFFING)

(SNIFFING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Oh!

(CHUCKLING)

(CORK POPPING)

WOMAN: Champagne!

(PEOPLE EX CLAIMING)

What are you doing?

(SIGHING)

I'm hungry.

I don't know where I am,

and I don't know when I'll find food again.

Remy, you are better than that. You are a cook.

A cook makes. A thief takes. You are not a thief.

But I am hungry.

(CHUCKLES)

Food will come, Remy.

Food always comes to those who love to cook.

(SNIFFING)

- You think I am playing? - You don't have the guts.

(GUNSHOT)

(WOMAN EX CLAIMING)

(BARKING)

Paris?

(CHUCKLING) All this time I've been underneath Paris?

Wow.

It's beautiful.

The most beautiful.

Gusteau's? Your restaurant?

You've led me to your restaurant.

It seems as though I have. Yes. There it is! I have led you to it!

I got to see this.

HORST: Ready to go on table seven. COLETTE: Coming around.

LALO: One order of steamed pike up. MAN: Coming up.

LAROUSSE: I need more soup bowls, please.

COLETTE: I need two rack of lamb. I need more leeks.

I need two salmon, three salade compos�e, and three filet.

LAROUSSE: Three orders of salade compos�e working.

Firing two orders, seared salmon.

Three filet working. I need plates.

HORST: Fire seven. MAN: Three salade compos�e up.

COLETTE: Don't mess with my mise!

LAROUSSE: Open down low.

MAN: I'm getting buried here.

Hello, Chef Skinner. How your night be now?

HORST: Bonjour, chef. LAROUSSE: Hello, Chef Skinner.

- Evening, chef. - WAITER: Ordering deux filet.

Hey, boss, look who is here.

Alfredo Linguini, Renata's little boy.

- Hi. - All grown up, eh?

You remember Renata, Gusteau's old flame?

(CHUCKLING)

- Yes. How are you... - Linguini.

Yes, Linguini. So nice of you to visit. How is...

- My mother? - Renata.

- Yes, Renata. How is she? - Good.

Well, not... She's been better. I mean...

She died.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't be. She believed in heaven, so she's covered.

You know, afterlife-wise?

(TITTERS)

- What's this? - She left it for you.

I think she hoped it would help me,

you know, get a job here.

But of course. Gusteau wouldn't hesitate.

Any son of Renata's is more than...

Yes, well, we could file this and if something suitable opens up...

We have already hired him.

What? How dare you hire someone without my...

We needed a garbage boy.

Oh, garbage. Well...

I'm glad it worked out.

Uh...

(GULPS)

I can't believe it.

A real gourmet kitchen, and I get to watch.

You've read my book. Let us see how much you know, huh?

Which one is the chef?

Oh! Uh...

- Oh, that guy. - Very good.

Who is next in command?

The sous chef. There.

The sous is responsible for the kitchen when the chef's not around.

Saucier, in charge of sauces. Very important.

Chef de partie, demi chef de partie, both important.

Commis, commis, they're cooks. Very important.

You are a clever rat. Now, who is that?

Oh, him? He's nobody.

Not nobody. He is part of the kitchen.

No, he's a plongeur or something.

He washes dishes or takes out the garbage. He doesn't cook.

- But he could. - (SNICKERING) Uh, no.

How do you know? What do I always say?

Anyone can cook.

Well, yeah, anyone can. That doesn't mean that anyone should.

(CHUCKLING) Well, that is not stopping him. See?

What is he doing? No. No! No, this is terrible!

(STUTTERING)

He's ruining the soup. And nobody's noticing?

It's your restaurant. Do something.

What can I do? I am a figment of your imagination.

But he's ruining the soup! We got to tell someone that he's...

But he's ruining the soup! We got to tell someone that he's...

(GASPING)

COLETTE: Table five coming up, right now.

(GASPS)

LALO: Coming down the line. COLETTE: Set.

Ah!

COLETTE: Hot! Open oven!

(PANTING)

Ah!

HORST: Coming around.

Ooh!

COLETTE: Oui, chef. One filet mignon, three lamb, two duck.

HORST: Fire those souffl�s for table six, ja.

- COLETTE: Five minutes, chef. - Oh, God.

Tonight, I'd like to present the foie gras.

It has a wonderful finish.

- REMY: Ooh! - Ah!

Hmm.

(GROANS)

HORST: Ready to go on table seven. Come on! Let's go!

WAITER: Oui, chef.

(VOMITING)

(SNIFFING)

(GRUNTING INDECISIVELY)

(BUBBLING GENTLY)

Remy! What are you waiting for?

Is this going to become a regular thing with you?

You know how to fix it. This is your chance.

(BELL DINGS)

(GASPS)

The soup! Where is the soup? Out of my way.

Move it, garbage boy!

You are cooking?

How dare you cook in my kitchen?

Where do you get the gall

to even attempt something so monumentally idiotic?

I should have you drawn and quartered!

I'll do it. I think the law is on my side.

(PLEADING)

Larousse, draw and quarter this man

after you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head.

- What are you blathering about? - (STUTTERING) The soup!

Soup?

Stop that soup!

No!

(PIANO PLAYING SOFTLY)

Waiter.

(EX CLAIMS)

Linguini!

You're fired!

F-l-R-E-D! Fired!

She wants to see the chef.

(STUTTERING) But he...

(CLEARING THROAT)

- What did the customer say? - It was not a customer. It was a critic.

- Ego? - Solene LeClaire.

- LeClaire? What did she say? - She likes the soup.

- Wait. - What do you mean, "Wait"?

You're the reason I'm in this mess.

(SHUSHING) Someone is asking about your soup.

What are you playing at?

(STAMMERING)

Am I still fired?

- COLETTE: You can't fire him. - What?

LeClaire likes it, yeah? She made a point of telling you so.

If she write a review to that effect

and find out you fired the cook responsible...

- (SCOFFS) He's a garbage boy. - Who made something she liked.

How can we claim to represent the name of Gusteau

if we don't uphold his most cherished belief?

And what belief is that, Mademoiselle Tatou?

Anyone can cook.

Perhaps I have been a bit harsh on our new garbage boy.

He has taken a bold risk

and we should reward that, as Chef Gusteau would have.

If he wishes to swim in dangerous waters,

who are we to deny him?

(CLEARING THROAT)

- You were escaping? - Oh, yeah.

Since you have expressed such an interest in his cooking career,

you shall be responsible for it.

(TITTERING)

Anyone else?

Then back to work.

You are either very lucky or very unlucky.

You will make the soup again, and this time, I'll be paying attention.

Very close attention.

They think you might be a cook. But you know what I think, Linguini?

I think you are a sneaky, overreaching little...

(GASPS)

Rat!

(EX CLAIMING)

- Rat! - HORST: Get the rat.

Linguini. Get something to trap it.

HORST: It's getting away. Get it, get it, get it.

- What should I do now? - Kill it.

- Now? - No, not in the kitchen. Are you mad?

Do you know what would happen to us

if anyone knew we had a rat in our kitchen?

They'd close us down.

Our reputation is hanging by a thread as it is.

Take it away from here. Far away. Kill it. Dispose of it. Go!

Whoa!

Doh!

(REMY PANTING)

Don't look at me like that! You aren't the only one who's trapped.

They expect me to cook it again!

I mean, I'm not ambitious. I wasn't trying to cook.

I was just trying to stay out of trouble.

You're the one who was getting fancy with the spices!

What did you throw in there? Oregano? No? What? Rosemary?

That's a spice, isn't it? Rosemary?

You didn't throw rosemary in there?

Then what was all the flipping and all the throwing the...

(SIGHING)

I need this job. I've lost so many.

I don't know how to cook, and now I'm actually talking to a rat as if you...

(GASPS)

Did you nod?

Have you been nodding?

You understand me?

So I'm not crazy!

Wait a second, wait a second.

I can't cook, can I?

But you...

You can, right?

Look, don't be so modest. You're a rat, for Pete's sake.

Whatever you did, they liked it.

Yeah. This could work.

Hey, they liked the soup!

(SCREAMING)

They liked the soup. Do you think you could do it again?

Okay, I'm going to let you out now.

But we're together on this. Right?

Okay.

(CHUCKLING)

(SIGHS)

(SOFT PATTERING APPROACHING)

(GRUNTING)

(EX CLAIMING)

So this is it.

I mean, it's not much, but it's, you know...

Not much.

It could be worse.

There's heat and light and a couch with a TV.

So, you know, what's mine is yours.

Are you...

Is this a dream?

The best kind of dream.

One we can share.

(SNORING)

But why here?

Why now?

Why not here?

Why not now?

What better place to dream than in Paris?

Morning, Little Chef. Rise and...

(GASPS)

Oh, no.

Idiot! I knew this would happen!

I let a rat into my place and tell him what's mine is his!

Eggs, gone!

Stupid! He's stolen food and hit the road! What did I expect?

That's what I get for trusting a...

(STUTTERING)

Hi. Is that for me?

Mmm!

That's good. What did you put in this?

Where'd you get that?

Look, it's delicious. But don't steal. I'll buy some spices, okay?

Oh, no. We're going to be late. And on the first day!

(MOUTH FULL) Come on, Little Chef!

"Though I, like many other critic,

"had written off Gusteau as irrelevant since the great chef's death,

"the soup was a revelation. A spicy yet subtle taste experience."

- Solene LeClaire? - Yes!

"Against all odds, Gusteau's has recaptured our attention.

"Only time will tell if they deserve it."

(SIGHS)

Well...

You know.

Look, I know it's stupid and weird, but neither of us can do this alone,

so we got to do it together, right? You with me?

So let's do this thing!

I...

(GROANING)

(STAMMERING)

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

Welcome to hell. Now, recreate the soup.

Take as much time as you need. All week if you must.

Soup.

(EX CLAIMS)

You little...

(STRIKING)

Ow!

(STRIKING)

(EX CLAIMS)

(LAUGHING)

(EX CLAIMS)

(YELPS)

(LAUGHING)

You son of a...

(SHIVERS)

(EX CLAIMS)

You got...

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMING)

(EX CLAIMS)

(SHRIEKS)

This is not going to work, Little Chef!

I'm going to lose it if we do this anymore.

We've got to figure out something else.

Something that doesn't involve any biting, or nipping,

or running up and down my body with your little rat feet.

The biting! No! Scampering! No!

No scampering or scurrying. Understand, Little Chef?

Little Chef?

Oh, you're hungry.

Okay. So let's think this out.

You know how to cook, and I know how to appear

human.

We need to work out a system so that I do what you want

in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef.

Would you listen to me? I'm insane! I'm insane! I'm insane!

In a refrigerator talking to a rat about cooking in a gourmet restaurant.

- I will never pull this off! - Linguini?

We gotta communicate.

I can't be constantly checking for a yes or no head shake from a...

The rat! I saw it!

- A rat? - Yes, a rat. Right next to you.

What are you doing in here?

I'm just familiarizing myself with, you know, the vegetables and such.

Get out.

One can get too familiar with vegetables, you know!

That was close. Are you okay up there?

Whoa!

(GUFFAWING)

How did you do that?

That's strangely involuntary!

REMY: One look and I knew we had the same crazy idea.

Okay.

Huh?

(GROANING)

Where are you taking me? Wait.

(CLATTERING)

Whoa!

(CHUCKLING) Wait. I'm sorry.

Whoa!

Okay.

Mmm-hmm...

(SQUEAKS)

(GROANS)

Okay.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(CRASHING)

(BLABBERING)

Whoa!

Whoa!

� votre sant�!

(GURGLING)

(CHUCKLING) All right.

That should do it.

Mmm.

Congratulations. You were able to repeat your accidental success.

But you'll need to know more than soup if you are to survive in my kitchen, boy.

Colette will be responsible for teaching you how we do things here.

Listen, I just want you to know

how honored I am to be studying under such...

No! You listen. I just want you to know exactly who you are dealing with.

How many women do you see in this kitchen?

(TITTERING) Well, I...

- Only me. Why do you think that is? - Well, I...

Because haute cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy

built upon rules written by stupid old men.

Rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world.

But still I'm here. How did this happen?

(TITTERING) Because, well, because you...

Because I am the toughest cook in this kitchen.

I've worked too hard for too long to get here

and I am not going to jeopardize it for some garbage boy who got lucky.

Got it?

(EX CLAIMS)

(LAUGHING)

Wow!

Easy to cook. Easy to eat. Gusteau makes Chinese food

Chine-easy.

(LAUGHING)

- Excellent work, Fran�ois, as usual. - It's good, isn't it?

I want you to work up something for my latest frozen food concept.

Gusteau's Corn Puppies.

They're like corn dogs, only smaller. Bite size.

What are corn dogs?

Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, American.

Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, American.

Whip something up.

Maybe Gusteau in overalls and Huckleberry Tom hat.

Or as a big ear of corn in doggie make-up.

(HESITANTLY) Yes. But, please, with dignity.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Get my lawyer!

Well, the will stipulates

that if after a period of two years from the date of death

no heir appears,

Gusteau's business interests will pass to his sous chef. You.

I know what the will stipulates.

What I want to know is if this letter... If this boy changes anything!

There's not much resemblance.

There's no resemblance at all. He is not Gusteau's son.

Gusteau had no children, and what of the timing of all this?

The deadline in the will expires in less than a month!

Suddenly, some boy arrives with a letter

from his recently deceased mother claiming Gusteau is his father?

Highly suspect!

- This is Gusteau's? - Yes, yes, yes.

- May I? - Of course.

But the boy does not know.

She claims she never told him, or Gusteau, and asks that I not tell.

- Why you? What does she want? - A job for the boy.

- Only a job? - Well, yes.

Then what are you worried about? If he works here,

you'll be able to keep an eye on him while I do a little digging.

Find out how much of this is real.

I will need you to collect some DNA samples

from the boy. Hair, maybe.

Mark my words. The whole thing is highly suspect.

He knows something.

Relax, he's a garbage boy. I think you can handle him.

What are you doing?

(STAMMERING) I'm cutting vegetables. I'm cutting vegetables?

No! You waste energy and time!

You think cooking is a cute job, like Mommy in the kitchen?

Well, Mommy never had to face

the dinner rush when the orders come flooding in,

and every dish is different and none are simple,

and all of the different cooking times,

but must arrive on the customer's table

at exactly the same time, hot and perfect!

Every second counts, and you cannot be Mommy!

What is this? Keep your station clear!

When the meal rush comes, what will happen?

Messy stations slow things down.

Food doesn't go, orders pile up. Disaster.

I'll make this easy to remember.

Keep your station clear, or I will kill you!

(EX CLAIMS IN DISGUST) Your sleeves look like you threw up on them.

Keep your hands and arms in, close to the body. Like this. See?

Always return to this position.

Cooks move fast. Sharp utensils, hot metal, keep your arms in.

You will minimize cuts and burns and keep your sleeves clean.

Mark of a chef: Messy apron, clean sleeves.

I know the Gusteau style cold.

In every dish, Chef Gusteau always has something unexpected.

I will show you. I memorize all his recipe.

- Always do something unexpected. - No. Follow the recipe.

- But you just said that... - No, no, no.

It was his job to be unexpected. It is our job to...

- Follow his recipes. - Follow the recipe.

How do you tell how good bread is without tasting it?

Not the smell, not the look, but the sound of the crust.

Listen.

(CRUST CRACKING)

Symphony of crackle. Only great bread sound this way.

The only way to get the best produce is to have first pick of the day

and there are only two way to get first pick.

Grow it yourself, or bribe a grower.

Voil�! The best restaurant get first pick.

People think haute cuisine is snooty. So chef must also be snooty.

But not so. Lalo there ran away from home at 12.

Got hired by circus people as an acrobat.

(CHUCKLING) And then he get fired

for messing around with the ringmaster's daughter.

(CONSPIRATORIAL WHISPER) Horst has done time.

LINGUINl: What for?

No one know for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him.

I defrauded a major corporation.

I robbed the second largest bank in France using only a ballpoint pen.

I created a hole in the ozone over Avignon.

I killed a man with this thumb.

COLETTE: Don't ever play cards with Pompidou.

He's been banned from Las Vegas and Monte Carlo.

- Larousse ran gun for the Resistance. - Which resistance?

He won't say. Apparently, they didn't win.

So you see.

We are artist, pirate. More than cooks are we.

- We? - Oui. You are one of us now, oui?

Oui. Thank you, by the way, for all the advice about cooking.

- Thank you, too. - For what?

For taking it.

(MUSIC PLA YIN G ON RADIO)

Huh?

The rat!

- (STUTTERING) But he is a... - (TITTERING) I just dropped my keys.

Have you decided this evening?

- Your soup is excellent. But... - But we order it every time.

- What else do you have? - Well, we have a very nice foie gras.

I know about the foie gras.

The old standby, used to be famous for it.

What does the chef have that's new?

(DOOR SLAMMING)

- Someone has asked what is new! - New?

Yes. What do I tell them?

- Well, what did you tell them? - I told them I would ask!

What are you blathering about?

- Customers are asking what is new. - What should I tell them?

- What did you tell them? - I told them I would ask!

(PONDERING)

This is simple.

Just pull out an old Gusteau recipe,

something we haven't made in a while...

They know about the old stuff. They like Linguini's soup.

They are asking for food from Linguini?

A lot of customers like the soup. That's all we are saying.

Were we saying that?

Very well. If it's Linguini they want

tell them Chef Linguini has prepared something special for them.

Something definitely off menu.

Oh, and don't forget to stress

- its Linguini-ness. - Oui, chef.

Now is your chance to try something worthy of your talent, Linguini.

A forgotten favorite of the chef's, sweetbread � la Gusteau.

- Colette will help you. - Oui, chef.

Now, hurry up. Our diners are hungry.

Are you sure? That recipe was a disaster.

Gusteau himself said so.

Just the sort of challenge a budding chef needs.

"Sweetbread � la Gusteau.

"Sweetbread cooked in a seaweed salt crust

"with cuttlefish tentacle, dog rose pur�e,

"geoduck egg, dried white fungus?

"Anchovy licorice sauce."

I don't know this recipe, but it's Gusteau's, so...

Lalo! We have some veal stomach soaking, yes?

LALO: Yes! The veal stomach, I get that.

Veal stomach?

Oh!

Okay.

(SNIFFING)

I'll be right back. Where...

Hey, I got to... Hey!

Don't mind me. I just need to borrow this real quick.

Let's see, over here...

I'll be back.

Thank you.

Excuse me. I'm going to...

Apparently, I need this. I'll be right...

I'm going to pick that up.

I got some of that spice.

Okay.

What are you doing? You're supposed

to be preparing the Gusteau recipe.

(STUTTERING) This is the recipe.

The recipe doesn't call for white truffle oil!

What else have you... You are improvising?

This is no time to experiment. The customer are waiting.

You're right. I should listen to you!

- Stop that! - Stop what?

Freaking me out! Whatever you are doing, stop it.

- HORST: Where is the special order? - Coming!

- I thought we were together on this. - We are together.

- Then what are you doing? - It's very hard to explain.

- The special? - Come get it!

Whoa, whoa. I forgot the anchovy licorice sauce.

(EX CLAIMS)

(GASPING)

- Don't you dare. - I'm not, I'm not. I'm...

Sorry.

Is Linguini's dish done yet?

Ja. It's as bad as we remember. Just went out.

- Did you taste it? - Ja, of course, before he changed it.

Good. What? How could he change it?

He changed it as it was going out the door!

Ow!

They love it!

Other diners are already asking about it, about Linguini.

I have seven more orders!

That's wonderful.

I'd like one of those.

Special order!

What is that?

HORST: Special order! Special order! Special order!

ALL: To Linguini.

- Congratulations, Mr. Linguini. - Cheers, ja?

LAROUSSE: Drink now, there's plenty.

Take a break, Little Chef. Get some air.

We really did it tonight.

Dah!

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES) Got your toque!

Oh, seriously now.

I'd love to have a little talk with you, Linguini, in my office.

- Am I in trouble? - Trouble? No.

A little wine, a friendly chat. Just us cooks.

(CHUCKLING GRACIOUSLY)

The plongeur won't be coming to you for advice anymore, eh, Colette?

He's gotten all he needs.

(SNICKERING)

Toasting your success, eh, Linguini?

Good for you.

I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know.

Of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking that.

But you would have to be an idiot of elephantine proportions

not to appreciate this '61 Ch�teau Latour.

And you, Monsieur Linguini, are no idiot.

Let us toast your non-idiocy.

(SLURPING)

(CLATTERING)

- Remy! - Emile?

I can't believe it! You're alive!

- You made it! - I thought I'd never see you guys again!

We figured you didn't survive the rapids.

And what are you eating?

I don't really know.

I think it was some sort of wrapper once.

What? No. You're in Paris now, baby. My town.

No brother of mine eats rejectamenta in my town.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

Remy! You are stealing? You told Linguini he could trust you.

- And he can. It's for my brother. - But the boy could lose his job.

Which means I would, too. It's under control, okay?

- More wine? - I shouldn't, but... Okay.

So, where did you train, Linguini?

Train? All right.

Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking?

- It's not. - I knew it!

It's my... Second, third, fourth... Fifth time.

Monday was my first time.

But I've taken out the garbage lots of times before that...

Yes, yes. Have some more wine.

Tell me, Linguini, about your interests.

Do you like animals?

(CHUCKLING) What? Animals? What kind?

The usual, dogs, cats, horses, guinea pigs,

rats.

I brought you something to...

(SCREAMS)

No, no, no, no!

Spit that out right now!

I have got to teach you about food. Close your eyes.

Now take a bite of... No! No! No!

- Don't just hork it down! - Too late.

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