Original subtitles

- On the plus side, it still fits.

- I was hoping to never feel wool on my skin again.

- There he is. Welcome back.

- Thank you, sir. Happy to be here.

Ready to ace my second chance.

It's just...

Are the long sleeves necessary?

- You fell as far as you could without getting bounced.

You have to earn your way back to short sleeves.

- I know it's a bummer,

but I'm excited to have you back on patrol...

for a little while.

- So what's happening?

Am I riding solo, or are you pairing me with someone?

- It's--it's not really my call to make.

- But you know the answer.

- I should really let Tim tell you.

- But you won't, because UCs have a blood bond of honesty

that will last until the apocalypse.

So spill it.

- I'm just the messenger.

- I don't understand.

- Well, you won't be riding with me anymore.

- Then who?

- You're gonna be training Penn.

- Are you kidding?

- Not only do I have to go back into the suck

that is uniformed police work...

- Not only do I have to walk a high-wire act to perfection

every minute of the day for the next six months,

I'm getting paired with a training officer

so legendarily cantankerous,

she makes Tim Bradford look like Mr. Rogers?

- I'm getting stuck with a Texas lemon

who should have been fired for a multitude of reasons?

- Yes. - Yes.

- And you heard the mechanic say

that he would get it done today?

He said those actual words? - Yes.

- Even though last time, it took him over a week

to order the parts?

- Hey, I put the fear of God in him, okay?

It'll be done by 5:00. - Oh.

- Luna, my savior. Room 314 is imploding.

- Of course it is.

I knew we were in trouble

as soon as the third estranged child showed up.

- I prescribed antibiotics for his pneumonia

and therapy for the rest of them.

- I'm sure they'll get right on that.

Mm-hmm.

I don't think we've met. - Right.

Oliver Ashton, this is my husband, Wade.

- Nice to meet you. - Good to meet you.

I don't think I've seen you around here before.

- Yeah, just started a couple months ago.

Spent the last five years working

for Doctors Without Borders. - Noble.

- It's nothing compared to what you do every day.

I'm doing assessments.

If 314 asks for me, tell them I got carried off by a twister.

- Um, nice guy.

- He makes us all look like underachievers.

- Mm.

- Thank you for the ride and for taking my car in,

which you should probably go do now,

or else he's gonna blame us for not getting it finished today.

Mm.

- Listen, Nolan and I have thoughts on how

to train Miles going forward. - Keep 'em.

You both had your chance. - Nyla--

- What are you gonna tell me that I don't already know?

He's a cowboy because he's insecure?

That--that was clear to some of us on day one.

Now he is a hot mess

who's gonna hit the streets so scared to make a mistake

that he will panic-freeze the second the adrenaline hits.

So, no, I will chart my own course.

Thank you.

I think she's got it handled.

Morning. - What?

- I said good morning. Did you mean to get off here?

- Um...

no, task force floor.

I'm sorry, I'm just a little distracted.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, uh, I don't know.

I found this in Luna's car,

and a pair of fancy men's sunglasses.

- That doesn't necessarily mean anything.

- No, of course not.

- I'm--I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.

- Yeah, yeah.

Just, um, you ever just, uh--

Never mind.

- Sir, if I may.

There's two paths you can take here.

The first is...

talk to your wife.

Odds are there's a very simple explanation.

The second is...

you know, snoop.

I highly recommend the first.

- Thank you.

- Just had to see me, or is there a problem?

Your mom.

Now what did she do?

- Well, have you not been following our group chat?

- No, I muted that thing

the second you set it up for the three of us.

- Tim. - I know.

I have a problem with communication.

- This is not funny.

Your mom has texted us 11 times in the past hour,

and you're being radio silent, so I have to answer.

- No, you really don't. - Uh--

- You don't. It's not your job to fill the silence.

In fact, the sooner you stop,

the sooner she'll abandon the thread

and stop sending blurry pictures

of relationship quizzes from ancient "Cosmo" magazines

she has lying around.

- So you are following the thread.

- I may have seen one or two. - Mm-hmm.

- I'll text her, okay?

It's not your weight to carry.

She's my mom. - Okay. Thank you.

That's all I ask. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- Oh, howdy, Detective Harper.

Uh, I want to say how thrilled I am to be training with you.

- You want your nickname to be "Ass Kisser"?

- No, ma'am. - Then rethink your approach.

Yes, ma'am.

- So what is your goal

for the next six months of training?

- Learn from my mistakes.

Try not to get myself in situations I can't handle.

- So play it safe?

- I'm one screwup away from getting bounced.

What am I supposed to do?

- Okay, so here's how today is gonna go.

You are the TO. I am the rookie.

- I don't understand.

- You will teach me the job as if I were a day-one rookie

and take the lead on every call we get,

and at the end of shift,

I will decide whether you are worth my effort.

- Yes, ma'am-- or should I say "Boot"?

I'm just gonna stick with ma'am.

- Mm-hmm.

This is nice.

You know, back together again, without the pressure

of being evaluated.

I can really let my freak flag fly.

No, no, not--not that I have one, like, a freak flag.

Like, no--no hidden freak agenda over here.

- Uh-huh. - Yeah.

- Don't worry. Your freak-ret's safe with me.

- Wait, what? Oh, I see.

No, no, but seriously, I have no freak-rets.

- 7-Adam-15, 2-11 at 47163 San Vicente.

- Copy that. Show us responding.

Hit it, super freak.

Police!

Police!

Police. - Is it over?

- Yeah, why don't you come out where we can see you?

- We were just in the middle of filming

when two guys with guns came in,

stole all of our equipment, and shot the place up.

- Okay, filming what? - Minion erotica.

- Zac, not the time. - Sorry.

- It's called Dropout TV.

We do shows based around improv comedy.

I own the company. - Oh, there he goes.

He owns the place. He owns the place.

- Anna--

- There's, like, a weird power dynamic,

but we're friends, but he's our boss.

- Jacob, you guys act like I'm obsessed with myself.

- Okay, can we just stay on track?

- Doubtful. Sorry, no. Sorry. We won't.

- Right, I think the path forward here

is to take witness statements from each of them...

separately. - Mm-hmm.

- And you can put your hands down.

- Oh, thank God. - Whew.

- All right, in your own words,

just tell me what happened. - Wow, okay, yeah.

Um, I first got into comedy

after being bullied in middle school.

- Okay, so where were you when the robbery took place?

- Your Honor, let the record show

that it could not have been me, for I was at the studio

when the crime occurred. - Well, this isn't a courtroom.

You're a witness, not a suspect.

- I could have committed the crime.

I could have been, you know, like, colluding.

- Were you?

- I thought you said I wasn't a suspect.

Okay, you're making me nervous. I did the crime.

No, I didn't. I'm panicking. I'm panicking.

- Yeah, I can't believe we lost all the footage we shot today.

I probably did some of my best,

most important work of my career.

My Dame Judi Butthole bit killed.

- Did the suspects have accents

or any distinctive vocal qualities?

- Yeah, when you say accents, do you mean, like...

Hey, I'm a guy from, like, Birmingham!

I'm here to rob your place!

Or--or maybe he was, uh...

An Appalachian hillbilly

with a sinus infection.

- I promise to answer your question,

but can I just ask you something first?

- No. - Okay.

So I just need, like, a regular,

not-funny person's opinion of this.

Like, which version is funnier?

A guy who is trying to give a eulogy,

but he's holding in a sneeze,

or a guy who's giving a eulogy,

but he's being attacked by invisible egrets?

And don't answer yet. I have to show you.

Perhaps he was a vampire...

From Down Under...

Who, uh-- who has really bad anxiety.

I want to suck your blood, but I'm a little scared.

- Oh, it's kind of coming back to me.

- The suspect's license plate?

- No, my Dame Judi Butthole bit.

Do you mind if I do it real quick so it doesn't escape me?

Ooh, record me on your body cam and then text it to me.

- And then I started Dropout TV.

What was your question again?

- Hey, hi. I don't know how helpful this is,

but one of the robbers must have dropped their wallet

when they were robbing the control room.

- Wait, I know you. Uh, you're the drone kid!

Dax. Dan. - Dash, but close enough.

- He let you use the drone? He straight up told me no.

- Okay, well, you wanted to film Mr. Reich in his backyard

doing yoga for blackmail purposes.

Am I the only one that went to the HR meeting?

- We have HR? - We had an HR meeting?

- I need a background check on Mark Wyatt.

- I thought you were moving to Vegas with your mom.

- Yeah, uh, that didn't work out, so we moved to LA.

My mom always wanted to be a hand model,

which is going as well as you would expect.

So I got a part-time job with these lunatics--

lovely people--

while, uh, I wait to graduate high school.

- Our suspect, Mark Wyatt, has priors--

assault and for public nudity. - At the same time?

What would that look like? - I've been thinking about it.

I feel like-- - No, no, no, it's katanas.

- All right, we're gonna go pick him up,

and we'll be in touch.

Lots of luck.

Pew, pew!

- Um, tell me the six rules of a traffic stop.

Why'd you do that?

- Is my training officer asking why a patrol officer

would listen to a police scanner

and not just wait for dispatch calls?

- I guess.

- When evaluating a rookie, a training officer

wants to see how they respond to different scenarios.

With a rookie who is looking to get into trouble,

the calls they choose can be illustrative.

- Armed suspect just abandoned his car on freeway.

He's shooting! Watch out! He's running!

Foot pursuit! Heading east on Benedict!

- Add us to that call. Mm.

Trainee, why wouldn't we want to respond to that call?

- Travel time to call is approximately 15 minutes.

A shots-fired call means that every available unit

in the area will respond.

As last arrivals, we will likely miss the action

and be tasked with looking for shell casings

in the hot sun for the next five hours.

- Right. I mean, uh, good answer.

Let's look for a closer call.

- All units, silent alarm at Lincoln Bank and Trust.

2-11 in progress.

- Bank robbery. Hot damn, we're taking that one, right?

- Yes, sir. Although-- - A-although what?

- A thoughtful TO might inform his rookie

that most bank robberies can be measured in minutes.

And given our proximity and the units that are closer,

it might be prudent to focus

on the bank robber's possible escape route and intercept.

- In case they manage to get away

before police arrive--smart.

- So the route they would take to escape would be...

- They would head for the 10/110 freeway exchange

and try to get lost in the chaos of Los Angeles traffic.

- Which means that they would have to drive up...

- Georgia Street.

Hands! Show me your hands!

Ple--please.

Please help. I think she's dying.

I think she's dying.

- Okay, we have two GSW victims.

Patient number one, GSW in the left upper quadrant abdomen,

now grossly distended and firm.

Critically unstable, recommend OR, stat.

- I'll stay with them. - Sounds right.

Are you investigating this one? - No, we are.

- That is sweet, but you are the hotshot detective.

I'm just a lowly patrol officer.

- You're still a detective, but I get your point.

Did either of them mention the third bank robber?

- Uh, no. I didn't realize there was one.

- Yeah, security guard said there were three of them,

all masked and armed.

Third robber disappeared when the shooting started.

Must have laid low as the other two escaped,

then snuck away into the chaos afterwards.

We're pulling security footage now.

Hopefully we can get a before and after the mask came off.

How's your rookie?

- Mm, I don't know yet.

- You know you can't bounce him from the program, right?

- What? I was looking forward to it.

- He's not the only one being evaluated, Nyla.

You need to be made of wins while you're back on patrol.

Firing a rookie would be seen as a loss,

and you can't give IA reason to punish you more

or, worse, fire you.

Oh, Lieutenant.

- Hey. Um, are you all right?

I mean, other than the uniform.

- Yeah, we caught two bank-robbery suspects.

Penn is in there watching over them

while they get prepped for surgery.

- You here to see Luna?

- Yeah, I'm gonna take her out to lunch.

- Oh, that's sweet. - That's sweet.

Well, yeah.

Excuse me.

Luna.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

- Thought I'd take my wife to lunch.

- Oh, that's so sweet, but Oliver

is about to do his assessments, and I accompany

in case any patient-advocate questions come up.

- You can join us,

but it's gonna be a lot more bodily fluids

than a normal person wants to see in a day.

- You'd be surprised what a cop sees in a day.

- Good point.

- I shouldn't be too late.

Why don't we go to dinner?

- Don't make a date you can't keep.

- I can keep it.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

- All right, good.

- It really was sweet you came to take me to lunch.

- Um, look, Luna, um--

- Hey, we--we need help.

- Let me guess. You're glued together.

- You say that like it happens a lot.

- More than you know.

- Did you drive here like that?

- Well, we didn't take the bus.

- Hey, I can't help but to notice

by the position of your hands that you were engaged

in a domestic dispute gone sticky.

- No, no, no, no.

Um, she was just caressing my face.

- While you choked her?

- Uh, not all choking is nonconsensual.

- Huh. - I'm gonna go get the doctor.

- Wait, wait, wait, um--

- Please tell me there is not glue on your hand.

I wish that I could.

- Why can't you just come in here?

- Because I'm mad at you.

It's not enough that I have a busy day,

I have to run damage control on your dysfunction?

- I was trying to take my mom off your plate.

- By telling her to not contact me?

I want to have a relationship with your mother,

but not whatever this has become.

- All right, I'll text her. - No. Hey, come on, please.

Call her today, okay?

An actual human conversation.

- Later.

- I'm telling you, I lost my wallet yesterday.

- Oh, convenient timing,

given we found it at the scene

of an armed robbery this morning.

- Convenient is such lazy framing.

The universe is an infinitely complicated place.

You know, you show your ignorance

acting like coincidences are impossible.

The sheer amount of things happening on a single day

number in the sextillions.

- Okay, that's a made-up number.

- No, it's not. A sextillion is a thousand trillion.

And given that the world is populated

with over 8 billion people,

I'm probably way underestimating.

No, I'm definitely underestimating.

There's over 10 quintillion insects in the world.

That's over one billion per person.

So, given that scale, me losing a wallet,

a criminal picking it up, and then dropping it

at a crime scene isn't unlikely.

Statistically, it's almost a given.

- Well, we're still gonna put you in a lineup

and see if the victims can identify you.

- That's fair.

- How many of that, uh-- quintillion?--

quintillion insects are spiders?

- Oh, at least a quadrillion.

There's 53,000 species

on every continent except Antarctica.

- I might have to move to Antarctica.

- Not today, though, right? - No.

Today we see if Mark loses the lineup lottery.

- Hmm, it's just like the movies...

- Yeah. - With as much diversity.

- Check, test.

All right, we are about to show you a lineup of six men.

The person or persons involved in the robbery

may or may not be among them.

Afterwards, I'm going to ask you, individually,

if you recognize anyone.

But do not compare notes

and do not discuss the suspects amongst each other.

Do you understand? - Yes, Daddy.

- Okay, the guy that's number one looks like a tech bro

that speaks about himself in the third person,

and he probably kisses his immediate family on the mouth.

- Smoochy! - Okay, wait.

But number three is sort of giving, like, hey, I'm Chad.

I completely misunderstood the message of "Fight Club,"

and I don't understand why my Native American

Halloween costume's so offensive.

- Number five looks like he spends

his Friday nights chugging beer loaded with protein powder.

It's not drinking alone if your two snakes are in the house.

- Okay, guys, let's try to focus.

I mean, this should be fairly easy.

Uh, do you guys recognize anyone or not?

- Well, they were all wearing masks,

but these guys are the same basic size.

- You know, I feel like I might recognize the guy's voice

that yelled at us. - Yeah.

- Number one, could you please repeat the phrase?

Shut up and get on the ground.

- Okay, I'm unimpressed with the performance.

Could use a little more pizzazz.

- I don't want to give a line read,

but there's, like, a hundred guys in LA

that could do a better job than that.

- So question--

can you just sort of make them say whatever you want?

- No, they're only gonna say what was said at the robbery.

- You guys thinking what I'm thinking?

- Contestant number one, can you please recite

Tommy Lee Jones's speech from "The Fugitive?"

- No, contestant number--

suspect number one, you do not have to do that.

- I would like it if you did. - No one's asking.

- I would like it if you did. - I'll do it.

Yes.

I love "The Fugitive."

- The floor's all yours.

- What I want out of each and every one of you

is a hard-target search of every gas station,

residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse,

and doghouse in that area.

- He's really good. - That's really good.

- Bravo! - Yeah.

- That was really good.

- Can we see a chemistry read between four and two?

- Okay, okay, okay.

Do you recognize any of these individuals from the robbery?

- I mean, if we say yes,

can we get them to say more weird stuff?

- No. - Can we make them kiss?

- Ooh, can we make them kiss?

- Can we see a kiss between four and two?

- That would equal six. - Ooh!

- That's odd.

Super glue usually comes off with a bit of acetone.

Do you remember the brand you used?

- Nope. - Yes.

Uh, I-I think it was like an--

an acetone-resistant... - Resistant--

- Blend.

Heavy-duty stuff. - Yeah.

- I can't really remember the exact name.

- Well, surgery is a last resort,

but without identifying the exact adhesive you used,

I'm not sure how else to proceed.

Can someone go by your house and get it?

- Uh, no.

Not--not really. - I'm happy to do it.

Give me your address. - No, that's not necessary.

- It's super nice, though. - Oh, my God, the nicest.

Thank you, um, but we just-- we couldn't ask that of you.

- Listen up. You are glued to my wife.

The only person that's supposed to touch her this long is me,

so give me your address...

unless there's something at your house

you don't want me to see.

Something that has to do with this, perhaps?

- I swear I don't know what that is.

- It's a firing pin for a handgun.

- Oh, my God. - Crazy.

- The question is, why are the two of you

covered with them?

- So Finley is out of surgery.

We should be able to talk to her soon,

but the, uh--the girlfriend, Ava, she died on the table.

- Damn.

Hard way to learn not to rob a bank

with a former Green Beret working as a security guard.

- Yeah.

- Hey, as my rookie,

shouldn't you be doing the paperwork?

Yeah, had to give it a shot. - Mm-hmm.

- All right, I requested an officer

to come watch over Finley.

We should get back out on patrol.

- Actually, we have been asked to take a first run

at interviewing Finley.

Lopez is tied up with the feds, combing through bank footage,

trying to figure out how the third robber escaped.

- And as her former partner--

fu--future partner, yeah, um--

she trusts your detective skills.

- Exactly.

And unfortunately for you,

I still need my TO to show me how it's done.

- Not to break the fourth wall here,

but you're a literal expert at interrogating suspects,

and I'm not.

- Only way to become an expert is to do the work.

And as someone whose instincts

are to turn everything up to an 11,

I am curious to see how you handle something

that requires nuance and delicacy.

- Hey. - Hey.

- How long's she been awake? - Couple minutes.

- Anyone tell her about her partner?

- I know I didn't.

- Can I ask you one question? - Sure.

- What's the worst mistake I can make in there?

- Don't make it a competition-- you versus her.

You guys are on the same side.

- Yes, ma'am, got it. Thanks.

Finley, I'm Officer Penn.

This is Detective Harper.

We brought you in. - Yeah, I remember.

How's Ava?

No one will tell me.

- I'm sorry, but...

she didn't survive the surgery.

She had lost too much blood.

- No.

No.

Why did he have to shoot her?

He didn't have to shoot her. Our guns weren't real.

- But they looked real.

People were terrified.

It's not fair. She only did it because of me.

- Why?

I've seen your history. It's spotless.

I couldn't even dream of getting into Stanford.

Be grateful.

You want to know why we robbed that bank?

I am $200,000 in debt,

and that's after spending the last three years

trying to pay off the loan.

It's higher now than it was when I started.

What hope did we have at a happy life together,

working two jobs just to barely stay above water?

- Listen, I get it.

I lived in my car until a few months ago.

Debt is no joke.

And it could impact how the DA's office

decides to prosecute you.

But if you want any hope of leniency--any--

you need to tell us who your other partner was

in the robbery. - It was just me and Ava.

- We know that there was a third person that got away.

We're gonna find them eventually.

- But you have an opportunity to help yourself here.

I strongly urge you take it.

- I don't deserve help.

Ava's dead because of me.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

- Hey, uh, Dropout guys made me drive them.

Something about a lineup. - Right, but they left.

- Are you kidding?

That's why Sam asked for the minivan keys.

Okay. - Sorry.

Can your mom pick you up? - Yeah, I can call her.

Did they help you at all with the line--

No, stupid question.

Those guys would have gone down with the "Titanic"

because they were too busy making fun of the orchestra

to get on a lifeboat.

- Look, don't take this the wrong way,

but why do you work with those guys?

- They pay me surprisingly well.

- Uh, Nolan? Sorry.

Are you free? - Yeah, I can be.

I'll see you later? - Yep.

- All right.

- So Grey just called.

Uh, Luna is currently glued to a couple

who appears to be manufacturing and selling ghost guns.

The judge just signed off on a warrant

for us to go inside and take a look at their house.

- While they remain glued to Luna?

- That's gonna have to be our secondary assignment--

identifying the adhesive they've been using

to assemble the ghost guns

so we can get them all separated.

- And who are these people?

- Uh, Poppy and Jasper Waterson.

Neither of them have a criminal record,

but at one point or another, they've both filed

restraining orders against each other.

I checked out their social media.

They are both gun enthusiasts,

obviously in a toxic relationship,

who share an inability to think things through.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Today is an odd one. - Right? Wait, why?

What's going on with you?

- Oh, I can't even explain, not without crying.

Juarez, we're on the move. - Coming. Whew.

I, uh, let Mark Wyatt go.

His girlfriend corroborated his story

of him losing his wallet yesterday.

And he was very understanding about our confusion

and happy to get his wallet back

once we had it fingerprinted, yeah.

- Mm. Hey, uh, you want to ride with me?

- Ooh. Can I?

Traitor.

- So did he call his mom? - I don't know.

I don't think so.

I don't have much confidence that even if he does,

it'll make things better. - Mm.

- Okay, we're coming up to it.

It's...

Oh.

You know what? Let's, uh-- let's back up a little bit.

- What's up?

- Three guys are moving stuff out of that green house

around the corner.

- And by stuff, you mean guns? - Among other things.

- So do we want to go right at them

or try something more subtle?

- A little bit of both?

- On the ground!

Step away from the van!

On the ground, arms and legs spread.

- That could not have worked out better.

Looks like we found our adhesive.

- Ooh, I-I wouldn't touch that. - Good idea.

- Hey, guys, I got this out here.

Go inside.

Clear the house.

- Nolan sent a photo of the glue.

- Thank God.

- Oh, did he, uh-- did he see anything else

while he was there?

- Hey, I just got the exact epoxy that they used.

- Great. Uh, let's see...

- Um...

Um, by the way, earlier in the day,

I found these in the bathroom.

You wouldn't happen to know who they belong to, would you?

- Yeah, I've been looking everywhere for these.

Where'd you say you found them? - Um, out in the hall.

- Finley! - Grandma?

- Finley! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You can't go there. You can't go in there.

- The hell I can't.

You're gonna have to shoot me to stop me.

- Hey, ma'am, ma'am, hold on one second.

Your granddaughter has been arrested

for a very serious crime.

- My granddaughter has also been shot.

And I am the only family she's got,

so you are gonna let me into that room.

- Yes, ma'am, we-- we can do that.

But I need you to do something for me.

Finley can help herself by telling us

the truth about what happened.

- Finley needs a lawyer.

I've got one on the way. Now let me see her.

- Of course, but Detective Harper

is gonna pat you down and hold on to your purse.

- Whatever. - Arms up.

- Ava's dead.

What?

Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

- What's going on?

- Uh, Finley's grandma just got here.

- Great, I don't need to make a separate trip.

When the feds finished processing the prints

from the bank, one set stood out,

although the last bank she robbed was in 1983.

- Get out. Finley's mawmaw?

- Yeah, she did a nickel for it.

Got out and never robbed another bank.

- Until today.

Maeve.

- It's all my fault.

They did everything right in life,

and still they were struggling so much.

It wasn't right.

- Put your hands behind your back.

- No, please.

No.

- It wasn't right.

- No.

- Oh. - Finally.

- Thank God. - So much better.

- All right.

Good news is that you're free.

- And this is the bad news.

All right, if you could just turn around.

- Turn around!

Hands on your head.

Hands behind your back.

- Huh. Must have missed some.

- Bruh.

- Hey, are you still waiting for your mom?

- Yeah, she's busy.

Said she'd get me when she's free.

She couldn't think of a safer place for me to wait.

- Okay. Uh, what about your dad?

- Oh, he's only "break glass in case of emergency."

- Right.

- Well, I just finished with an arrest,

so I can give you a ride home.

- Great.

Uh, can we go with the lights and the sirens?

- No, but I'll let you use the radio

to tell dispatch she has a sexy voice.

- Really? - No.

That your mom? - No, it's Sam.

"Where's our equipment?

"You weren't supposed to steal it for real.

I'm not paying you unless you bring it back."

Second text.

"Ha ha, whoops, sorry.

"That message wasn't for you.

Please don't share it with anyone."

Prayer hands emoji.

- Do I need a lawyer?

- That is your right. Do you have one?

- Yes, but he only does entertainment law.

- That's not gonna help you.

Look, not only did you make false statements to police,

which is punishable by up to six months in prison,

but you also endangered yourself and your employees.

- Look, I am so sorry.

We do crazy stunts for our shows all the time.

I thought I was hiring actors to play robbers.

They were supposed to interrupt our game show

with a fake robbery

and then return all of our stuff a few hours later.

I never thought a casting breakdown for armed robbers

would attract actual armed robbers.

And then I was too embarrassed to say anything,

and now I fully realize the error of my ways.

- Which is great, but it will still be up to the DA's office

as to whether they want to press charges.

- I can't go to jail.

I couldn't even handle sleepaway camp.

- Look, let's just start

with arresting the two men that robbed you.

I'm assuming you have names and numbers.

- I have their Venmos. - Let's start with that.

- Okay.

Robber88.

Okay, well, I should have seen that one coming.

- All right. What a way to end shift.

As a thank-you,

paperwork can be turned in at the top of the day tomorrow.

I'll even add an hour of OT for those

who want to come in early. - That's great.

Hey, did you call your mother? - Mm.

- I'm gonna-- - Yeah, don't we have a--

- Yep. - Right behind you.

- I'm sorry.

I think I just need to get some closure.

- Oh, it's okay.

Look, why don't we clock out and talk about it at home?

- Okay.

- I don't know about you, but all I am thinking about

is a hot bath and 12 hours of sleep.

Sounds nice.

- Are you okay?

- Um...

I thought I...

I could broach this in a more delicate way,

but after the day we had, I...

I think it's better just to come out and--and say it.

Is there something going on with you and Dr. Ashton?

- Are you accusing me of cheating?

- I'm not accusing you of anything.

But after seeing

the way you two act together and...

finding his things in your car...

I just want to know the truth.

- First of all, you have to believe me

when I say that nothing has happened between us.

- Second of all?

- I do feel something for him.

I wasn't looking for it.

In our whole marriage,

I've never even thought about anyone else.

But this past year, the world has opened up for me.

I finished school. I got this job.

- You met another man.

- It is not that simple.

Am I attracted to him? Yes.

But that doesn't mean that I was planning on acting on it.

- Doesn't mean you weren't.

Otherwise you would have said that.

- Wade, please, I'm...

I am trying to be honest, and-- and I'm making a mess of it

because I don't-- I don't really know how I feel.

I--

If you hadn't confronted me about Oliver,

there is a good chance I would have worked through all of this

without you ever knowing. - I do know!

It's breaking my heart. Just--

So what you need to tell me

is that whatever it is you feel

for this man...

it's over as of now.

And your hesitation gives me my answer.

Here, take this.

- Wade. - I need to take a walk.

- And then what? - I don't know.

- So officially end of shift.

Did you decide whether or not I'm a lost cause?

- I want to hear your thoughts first.

- Okay, well, I think I made some real progress today,

even though it wasn't close to perfect.

- Stop.

You do know not everything is about you, right?

I don't want to hear your own self-analysis.

I want to hear what you thought about me, your rookie.

- Oh.

Can I not do that?

All right.

I'd say you're pretty knowledgeable

for a rookie officer.

You have natural instincts.

Though I can sometimes feel your urge to take over,

I appreciate that you don't.

Your willingness to trust your TO

and give him a second chance,

even when you think you might know better--

when you most definitely do know better--

is admirable.

- Okay, thanks. - Now it's your turn, right?

Wait, so-- so what does that mean?

Do I get to stay, or should I go home?

- See you tomorrow.

Happy first day!

- Whoo! - Whoo!

- We wanted to do something special

to celebrate your first day back on patrol.

- You guys, you--

you are terrible, wonderful people,

and I love you.

- We love you, too, and you're gonna get through this.

- Thank you. Wow, you guys really did not have to do this.

But I am glad that you did.

It's not something I ever would have thought to celebrate.

- To be fair, you are not big on festivities of any kind.

I only found out when your birthday was

because I called your mama.

- And I am still kind of mad at you for that.

- Me too, and so is Wesley. - I'm not.

- Okay, so I assume that this is not just decorations,

that there is some sort of sustenance

and--and possible adult beverages.

- I'm on it.

- Thank you, guys, for being here.

But just to clarify, I do want to be in my bed

in an hour, so.... - Oh, yeah, we'll be long gone.

- Yeah. - Okay, great.

- O-okay.

All right, Mom.

Bye.

I did it.

It is handled.

- That took too long to have been easy.

Is she okay? Are you okay?

- Yeah. No, I'm--I'm great. - Okay.

- It actually--no, it went a lot easier than expected.

She understood the whole boundaries issue pretty quickly

and, uh, acknowledged that she can get overexcited.

Doesn't blame you or me-- just blames technology

for being too fun to experience alone.

- Wow. Okay.

It sounds like it went great. - Yeah.

- Well, what took so long, then?

- We started talking about a lot of other stuff.

- Like what? - Nosy.

- Come on, tell-- if you want to tell me.

- Um, work, uh, childhood memories...

- Mm. - You.

It was nice. - Yeah.

I-I bet you guys have a lot to catch up on.

- Yeah, yeah. Oh, she did--

she told me all about her weekly trips

to the Farmers Market.

Oh, and she told me all about her friend Linda,

who, uh, has been acting like--

and this is in my mother's words--

a-a shrewd bitch with a stick shoved so far up her ass.

- Yeah, I heard about Linda.

And, honestly, I agree with your mother.

She has to go.

- How'd you hear about that? That was not on the group chat.

- Nope. I...

- Um...

- I am on a separate group thread

with just your mom and Genny.

- You are unbelievable. - Wait. No, stop.

To be fair, I did not start that one--Genny did.

But now I have two of my main sources

for vintage Tim photos in the same place,

so that's very nice for me. - Oh, God.

Okay, so do I have to talk to Genny now, too?

- No, no.

But if you have that powder-blue prom suit

lying around, that would be nice.

- Okay, I'm sure I could dig it up from somewhere.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Hello? - I'm in the bedroom.

- I thought you couldn't be home for another week.

- I moved some things around.

- Are you naked under there? - 100%.

With the caveat that I have to go back in 36 hours.

- We can get a lot done in 36 hours.

- We can.

- Just one--

Yes, sir, is everything all right?

- No.

Luna and I are in a bad place.

I don't...

I don't know what our future looks like.

I'm here at a hotel bar,

where I'll be staying for who knows how long.

- Sounds like you need some company.

I'll be right there. - Thanks.

Maybe not right there.

- Wait, John--

- He won't be any more sad in 40 minutes

than he would have been in 20.

- That's true.

- Damn it.