Original subtitles

I thought you'd be happy about it.

I just don't understand why it has to be so early.

It's 8am, darling. Exactly.

Well, it's the only slot they had left.

Of course, because it's still the middle of the night.

But I know how much you love it. I just wanted to surprise you.

I know, and thank you.

But early mornings have never been conducive

to my happiness, have they?

I know that, darling, but...

you look like a movie star when you jet ski.

So do you! HE CHUCKLES

I wonder what's going on over there?

Well, let's call Xena over. Good idea.

HE CLEARS THROAT Xena.

WOMAN: ..we need to check the CCTV.

What's going on?

The CEO of a company called SL2K had a posh dinner here last night,

and this morning, it was discovered that he had disappeared.

Oh, really? Yes.

His room still contains his wallet, his ID, his phone, everything.

And? It's still the crack of dawn,

maybe he went for a walk or a dip in the pool.

I've heard of people who get up that early.

Fortunately, I don't know any of them.

Apparently, he missed a very important Zoom

with Switzerland this morning at 7am, and he's never late.

Oh, right.

Love Switzerland!

We should bob over soon. Oh, yes.

Oh, there you are. Could I have a beach towel, please?

Of course, Madame.

There you are. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Darling, off we go.

Great way to get rid of a hangover, darling!

I wouldn't know. I've never had one!

THEY LAUGH

Follow me! Ha-ha!

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, my God!

# Do you remember the first time

# That my eyes set on you?

# Your smile came from nowhere

# For some time never Or some time soon

# The road is a long one

# I was only passing through

# I was only

# Passing through. #

Police! Help!

Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance!

Help, please! Somebody, please!

Help! Call an ambulance!

I called an ambulance, they're on the way.

I'm a doctor, I can help.

Oh! Oh, thank goodness. Darling, he's a doctor!

Leave it to him. Don't look. Don't look, don't look!

There. Not bad, old chap.

BOTTLES CLINK Thank you.

Voila.

How much?!

Oh, I see.

Good grief. It's a bit steep for a house red.

Hm!

MEN SPEAK FRENCH

He has a slight pulse. We must go now.

Oh, of course.

You go in first, order breakfast

and tell them you're meeting me there.

No, no, you go in first. Why do you always do that?

Do what? "You do it first" thing.

That's what they do in the romcoms. Oh, do they indeed?

Oh, yeah, I'm a bit of an expert on romcoms, as it happens.

I'm currently working on my own one. Oh, is that right?

Yeah, it's about this couple

who keep their relationship secret for romantic reasons.

Sounds great. Oh, it is, yeah.

He's, like, handsome, he's charming, he's modest.

SHE LAUGHS Great kisser...

Bonjour.

Right, I'll go in first.

BOTTLES CLINK

Morning, Uncle Patrick. Morning, Dom.

Ooh, loving the handiwork. Thank you.

I'll have a coffee and a couple of croissants, please.

Won't be a tick. Just sorting this lot out.

All right.

I'm meeting Jean in here.

Morning, Patrick. Morning.

I'm meeting Dom in here. Hi, Jean!

Wow, I've not seen you in ages. Morning, Dominic.

Dominic?

Hey, he's done a cracking job on this breakfast menu.

And it's all served on plates. What else would it be served on?

Have you never had a meal served on something other than a plate

in an effort to appear trendy?

Er... I've had chicken in a basket.

Precisely. And that is exactly where the rot started.

I once had fish and chips served out of an old boot.

Shut up! I swear!

And they'd put newspaper inside to make it look more authentic.

Where was I meant to put me mushy peas?

SHE CHUCKLES

BOTTLES CLINK

Mm.

I think I'll have a little tickle of this.

The poor chap had a plastic bag over his head

and a rope holding it into place.

And over the bag, on the eyes,

coins had been pushed into the sockets.

It was horrific.

Yes, I'm sure it was.

The doctor you met on the beach, Dr Martin,

brought those items back a little while ago.

He told me the ambulance had taken him to the new private hospital

where he works, which is much nearer than Saint Victoire General.

But, unfortunately, his team could not save his life.

An autopsy will be performed as soon as possible.

Oh, how ghastly!

Er... Do we know who the victim is?

There was no ID.

But Dr Martin identified him as the man from SL2K,

as he had been chatting with him on the beach only yesterday.

Can I ask you two to stay close to the area,

if I need to talk to you again?

Of course. Hm.

SHE CLEARS THROAT What?

Oh. Er, Caron... Yes?

Erm, we've got a couples' massage booked at 3pm.

Is it all right to still go ahead with that?

That will be fine.

Thank you.

We'll be in our room until then. Mm.

Jean, I wondered if you could come to the beach club.

There is something I need you to look at.

We should have a fry-up.

Sometimes a croissant just doesn't hit the spot, does it?

Stop moaning. I'll buy you lunch after we've seen Caron.

It doesn't matter how fancy the croissant is,

I always feel like I licked the bottom of a bird cage.

Oh, you know what that tastes like, do you?

No. But, like, claggy.

What does "claggy" mean?

You know, like thick and sticky.

Claggy mouth. When you get some food trapped

on the roof of your mouth... Come here.

SHE CHUCKLES

KNOCKING

Caron, we came as soon as we could.

Ah, Jean, good to see you.

So, where are these coins you want me to look at?

Hey, Andre. Dom.

These are what I was talking about.

So, erm, how did this fella die, then?

The doctor says strangulation.

He had a slight pulse on the beach,

but his weak heart let him down when he got to the hospital.

Here he is.

Antoine Lefevre, the CEO of SL2K Holdings.

The missing guest.

His business partner, a certain Nicholas Arlez,

just called from the hospital to confirm it is him.

He's on his way back now. What a way to go, eh?

I also need to talk to SL2K's IT consultant, Marilyn Feo.

They were the only people to stay over from the party last night.

Do you need anything else?

Er, no. Thank you.

Mm.

These coins are very rare.

So the bronze one is Napoleon III, five centimes, 1857.

That's worth about...

3,000 euros.

For a coin? Wow.

Yeah, but the, er... Well, the gold one is even rarer.

That's Napoleon I, 1813. Now, that's worth about 5,000 euros.

HE EXCLAIMS

So, you said you found these on his eyes?

Over this plastic bag, but, yes. Hmm.

Have you ever heard the story of Charon the Ferryman?

What, like my name?

Yes. Well, it's pronounced the same, but there's a H after the C.

Now, Charon was the ferryman of the underworld,

and it was his duty to ferry the souls of the departed

across the River Styx.

Now, the families of the dead used to put coins

on the eyes of their loved ones

because if Charon wasn't paid, their souls would roam the earth

in torment for all eternity.

PHONE CHIMES Well, I know it sounds...

sounds silly, but...

well, whoever murdered this man, erm...

Antoine Lefevre.

..Antoine Lefevre,

well, made sure that his entry to the underworld

was, well, very smooth indeed.

These coins are worth about 8,000 euros.

Can we find out where they were purchased?

Well, yeah. I'll call Charlie and she can start digging.

Yeah. Thank you.

I'll leave you to it.

Uncle Patrick needs a hand at the pub. Jane's called in sick.

Right.

HE MOUTHS

Bonjour.

Oh, perfect timing.

Right, I want you to do a little taste test for me.

Ooh, I always wanted to do one of these.

Ah, well, now's your chance.

What I want you to do is taste both of these,

and then tell me which one you think tastes the best. OK.

Can only have a little sip, mind? Cos I'm driving.

Of course. OK.

Mm-hm. Mm. Mm.

Well, that one is OK, but nowhere near as fantastic as that one.

You are absolutely right. Yes!

Hiya. Cheers, glorious Gloria.

Oh, what's he so chipper about?

He's had two sips of wine. HE LAUGHS

Sorry I'm late. Where did you need a lift to again?

Oh, thanks for coming, love.

It's just that I've got a lot of stuff

to get from the cash and carry.

And I'm not sure if Madeleine will make it all the way

up the hill on the way back.

No offence, Dom. Oh, no, none taken.

And you're absolutely right, she would not.

Do you want me to hold the fort for you?

Oh, you're a good man.

Won't be long. Liquid lunch, is it?

Yeah. No! I just want to check something out.

HE HUMS

Perks of the job, innit?

Do you mind if we nip somewhere after the cash and carry?

Not at all.

Oh, very smart! Thanks.

I've called her Electric Lady Van.

Like the Hendrix album Electric Ladyland?

Precisely. Very good.

I thank you. Favourite track on that album?

All Along The Watchtower.

Just wait till you hear it on these speakers!

SHE CHUCKLES

Monsieur Nicholas Arlez,

I am sorry you had to go through the ordeal

of identifying your friend this morning.

Yes. Not something I would like to go through again.

But Dr Martin and his team were very kind.

Can I ask, what were you doing here at the beach club?

We have been members here for a long time,

and we had a staff dinner to celebrate 20 years in the business.

Who attended?

Office staff and consultants.

Most of our business is franchised out,

and we employ consultants to help us when we need them,

like Marilyn here.

Me and Antoine run SL2K, and we are...

..WERE business partners.

And, er, what was your role?

I've been doing SL2K's marketing for years.

And you two were the only colleagues to stay over?

Yes.

Erm... these coins were found on Antoine's person.

They're actually quite valuable.

Do they ring any bells?

Well, Antoine was a fervent coin collector, so, er...

Who do you think would want to murder Antoine?

No-one.

He was wonderful, a kind person and a loyal friend.

The only person I can think of was his daughter's ex-boyfriend.

But I thought that was over years ago.

What happened?

It was desperately sad.

Cherise, his daughter, and her boyfriend were only teenagers

and were driving home one night.

He went through a red light for some reason and...

..and a car ran into the side of them,

the side Cherise was on.

She was dead on contact.

And he got two years for dangerous driving.

When he was released,

Antoine hounded him out of Saint Victoire,

was stopping him working,

shaming him at any given opportunity.

He had to move to Toulouse and start again.

So, erm, I cannot imagine that Hugo was Antoine's biggest fan.

Hugo? Did you say the name "Hugo"?

Yes. Hugo Leve.

Antoine swore he saw him hanging around the beach club last night.

I just thought he'd had too much to drink, but now...

Please keep your phones charged and be contactable at all times.

We will have more questions.

Thank you for your help.

You have my address if you need me.

Now this one.

What do you think?

This one tastes miles better. But...

..they're identical.

Let's investigate.

Come on. Let's have a look inside.

BOTTLES CLINK

Patrick. Mm?

Why are we hiding?

I want to take a good look at what's going on behind the scenes.

Got ya.

Well, come on!

DOOR OPENS, BUZZING

Bonjour, madame.

Bien sur!

What are they saying?

I'll tell you in the van.

Hugo was indeed seen at the hotel last night,

hanging around reception around 11pm.

The last known address for him is in Toulouse.

Toulouse, you say?

Well, that's the Toulouse cross.

Hang on.

Oh.

Well, this bag is from a deli chain there.

And, yeah, there are only three branches.

And they're all in Toulouse.

I think we need to go and talk to this man. Yeah.

Jean, one minute, I have left my phone.

I'll wait for you outside.

It's quite a scam.

I thought there was something going on.

So, basically... these ladies are ripping Judith off

by putting expensive labels on cheap wine.

Exactly. Not as sweet as they look, either.

One of them called Judith "the English idiot".

Ooh, good grief.

They're tricking Judith and Jeremy out of a lot of money.

We have to tell 'em.

No time like the present.

HE SNORES

PHONE RINGS

Patrick, hello, darling. How the devil are you?

SHE CHUCKLES

SHE GIGGLES

Oh, Patrick!

Two sweet little old ladies

with their cottage industry running a scam,

that's hilarious.

No, I'm sure it's just some innocent misunderstanding. So...

Got to go, darling, the hot stones are arriving.

'Judith?'

Oh, yes! 'Judith?'

Hugo Leve? Oui.

Of course. Thank you.

HUGO CLEARS THROAT

Antoine Lefevre was found dead this morning in Saint Victoire.

I don't feel like I thought I would.

Pardon?

I thought I'd feel happier when hearing that sentence.

Happier?

Relieved even.

But I don't.

I don't feel anything.

I see.

Yes, we know about the crash.

I was 17 when Cherise died.

What happened?

We, er... We were stargazing that night...

as we used to call it back then.

We smoked some weed to get as high as the sky.

And...

..on our way back home, I jumped a red light.

We had just swapped seats.

Cherise wanted to roll up again.

It could so easily have been me, but... it wasn't.

Monsieur Lefevre never forgave you either.

That is quite understatement.

He made my life hell. He hounded me out of Saint Victoire.

That is why I came to Toulouse.

So you must really hate him.

I created his hell, so he created mine.

A perfect motive for murder.

Murder? He was murdered?

Yes.

Me...

Of course I hate him for what he did to me.

But the guilt I have for Cherise

far outweighs the hate I have for Antoine.

I mean, murder him? No! I mean...

So why were you seen on CCTV at the reception

of Miroir De L'Ocean beach club at 11pm last night?

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Oh. Bonjour again.

I was picking my girlfriend up from work.

It doesn't mean he's in the clear.

He's still our number one suspect

because we know he was there at the time.

PHONE CHIMES

Ah, it's Charlie.

She's found out that the coins were not bought but have gone missing

from Echange De Metaux.

What does "gone missing" mean?

Well, I don't know.

But I should have known they were from there.

They're the biggest internet coin dealers in the business.

Owned by a mate of mine.

Great. Let's go.

So, you saw them re-labelling a different wine? Yeah.

Local ladies? Yeah.

Blimey. What are you gonna do about it?

Well, I tried to talk to Judith, but she wasn't having any of it.

So, what do we do? Well...

..I suppose we have to go to the police.

Well, you're a braver man than I am, Uncle Patrick.

The locals will not take kindly to the new English bloke

picking on a couple of sweet old ladies.

I've got an idea.

Have you?

We'd have to go back when the shop's shut.

You up for it?

Course I am.

SHE CHUCKLES

Hang on.

I know your face.

And I know your face.

And I want nothing more to do with this from this point onwards.

Can I go? I promised Jean I'd pick her up.

Yeah, course you can.

Nah!

BELL RINGS

BUZZER

Ah, Jean! Bonjour!

Oh, Marie, it's good to see you.

You're looking well, Jean. And you look smashing as well.

You're a good liar, Jean White.

I was up late watching repeats of Gordon Ramsay

swearing in his kitchens!

It's the only thing that gets me off to sleep these days.

THEY LAUGH This is my good friend Andre Caron.

Ah. Bonjour, Andre. Bonjour.

You don't mind, do you? Mm.

Oh, that's better.

Although I've had to switch to decaf.

SHE TUTS, SIGHS

Do you know, once upon a time,

I could inhale ten espressos and 40 Gitanes a day.

Now, decaf and patches!

ALL the patches!

It happens to us all, Marie.

Now, do you mind if we get straight down to business?

Of course not.

You said in your text to Charlie that the coins just went missing.

That's right.

Well, what did you mean?

I hadn't even noticed they had gone missing till I spoke to Charlie.

Mind you, I put the kettle in the fridge last week.

My brain fog's terrible.

After I spoke to Charlie, I went to check and they had gone.

Do you know how they could have left the shop?

I have no idea.

Every second Monday, I get out all the coins to clean them.

So, you cleaned them yesterday?

Yes, that's right, and they were definitely there then.

Did anyone else visit the shop yesterday?

Erm...

The only people who came in all day were my mum, who brought my lunch,

and our online marketing consultant.

Marketing consultant? What's their name?

Marilyn Feo.

Oh, she's an absolute godsend.

I'm terrible online.

Don't know how I'd manage without her.

YOU are a legend.

Thank you so much.

We'll be in touch. Thank you.

Er... Well, glad I could help.

DOOR CLOSES

I trust you can get in there.

Only one way to find out.

Oh, the old girls don't seem to have installed any alarms or CCTV.

We're in luck.

What about the gate? They've padlocked it.

Some skills never leave you.

Yes! SHE CHUCKLES

Blimey.

Never seen one of those before.

I have.

I spent a summer labelling pickled onions when I was training.

Looks like the same machine. So, what's the plan?

Wait and see.

Oh, hello, you two.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Dom, we've got a lead.

Do you mind hanging round here for a bit?

No, no, no, of course.

You're worth waiting for. SHE GIGGLES

Jean!

Er, see you later. Mm.

HE HUMS

KNOCKING

Come on. HE MOUTHS

He's coming.

Madame Feo, during our earlier interview,

you referred to Monsieur Lefevre

as "wonderful, a kind person, and a loyal friend".

That's right.

You also said, regarding Hugo,

"Antoine swore he saw him hanging round the beach club last night.

"I just thought he had had too much to drink."

So, you and Monsieur Lefevre

had been drinking together after the party?

Yes.

Pardon?

I can't believe he's gone.

My darling Antoine.

Oh. I take it that you and Antoine were more than just good friends?

He was the love of my life.

But you are married, no?

Yes. Erm...

My husband is my business partner.

We have a freelance IT marketing company,

and we work as consultants for different businesses.

One being SL2K, amongst others.

Yes, amongst others.

You are the online consultant for Echange De Metaux, n'est pas?

How long have you worked as consultants for SL2K?

Nearly five years.

And your affair with Antoine?

Almost as long.

Erm, going back to Echange De Metaux...

Look, OK!

It was me, yes. I took the coins.

I took the coins on Antoine's request.

I'd done it before. He always paid, eventually.

He said he had to wait till the company's cashflow was better.

Hang on. I thought his company was booming.

No. They were really struggling.

But sort of didn't do anything about it.

What do you mean?

Personal drivers, beach club memberships,

corporate dinners, no expense spared.

Keeping up appearances?

Exactly.

I was nervous taking the coins.

But it was what Antoine wanted, and I wanted to make him happy.

Please...

tell us exactly what happened.

After the dinner, I, er...

..surprised Antoine with the coins.

SOFTLY: Got you a present.

What do you think?

Lovely.

'I thought he'd be thrilled.

'But he just turned cold.'

Antoine?

'Said he needed to think about our relationship

'and WE might not be what he wanted any more.

'I was so upset and shocked, I just... fled the room.'

And that was the last time you saw him?

Yes.

I do not believe you.

It's the truth.

I suggest that Antoine made you steal the coins.

No! And when he said he didn't want you any more,

you were so angry, you strangled him in his sleep.

That's ridiculous!

I was angry, yes!

But more than that...

..I was utterly heartbroken.

Which is a perfect motive.

Please?

You have to help me.

Marilyn Feo, I'm arresting you for the murder of Antoine Lefevre.

No! You have the right to remain silent.

If you waive this right, anything you say

can and will be used against you in a court of law.

That massage was simply divine.

What was it? Swedish? No.

Hot stone. Left me all melty.

Just what I needed after the trauma of this morning. Yeah.

I must have had a hundred massages and I don't remember a single one!

How do you mean?

I always fall asleep.

Doesn't matter what's happening,

as soon as I lie face down on that massage couch,

I conk straight out!

HE GULPS

HE CHOKES

What?

HE CROAKS Oh, God!

Do something!

I don't know what to do, I've only seen it in the films.

Jean!

Help! Look! Oh, God!

Oh!

Doctor! Doctor! Please help, my husband is choking!

Oh!

How dare you?!

TYRES SKID Oh, God!

JEREMY GROANS

Oh!

Oh! Oh! How can I ever repay you?

Dom!

Dominic! Thank you! Thank you!

Well done, you.

I saw it on Mrs Doubtfire, you know?

Fat lot of use that doctor was!

What doctor? The bloke in the car.

That's not a doctor. That's Nicholas' driver.

Jean... He might have had a little shave,

but that was categorically the doctor

that tried to save that poor man's life on the beach this morning.

I never forget smouldering eyes like that.

Shame he doesn't want to save all lives.

Dom, we have to go now. Where?

I'll tell you on the way. Come on.

Right. Ooh. Can you let me go please now, Jeremy?

Uh? Please let me go.

Thank you.

Darling. That was a nasty shock, wasn't it?

HE CLEARS THROAT

Where are we going?

Nicholas Arlez's house. OK. Why?

Something just doesn't add up.

So, what are we looking at?

Judy said the bloke she saw was that doctor,

the doctor on the beach, that Dr Martin fella.

But I saw the same bloke driving Nicholas Arlez around.

And then when Judith asked for help, he just drove off.

No. No, not with you.

Well, how can the doctor and the driver be the same person?

I mean, we can't even say that Judith was on the champagne,

cos it was eight o'clock in the morning.

Er... Right?

Think about it, Dom.

What if it's an almighty set-up?

SHE GASPS

See! I was right.

That man stood near the door,

that's the same man that's supposed to have been murdered.

Oh, my...

I've got to message Caron.

It's all been a set-up.

A fake doctor, a fake ambulance crew, a fake hospital.

It's all been a massive set-up.

I think you'd better come with us.

Coffee?

Some would say it's a little late to be drinking caffeine.

Not something I agree with.

Some of the finest minds have sworn by the consumption

of a good coffee at any time of the day.

I find it helps keep a clear head.

SHE SIGHS And the conscience?

Ha! Very good.

HE CHUCKLES

Actually...

I would like a coffee, if that's OK?

Er, yes. Yeah, me too.

Ah, waiting to see if it was poisoned?

HE LAUGHS

No. I don't blame you.

I wouldn't trust us either.

HE LAUGHS

So...

..what brought you here, Madame White?

Your doctor was recognised.

Ah, yes, that was very STUPID of him!

Your business partner is a good actor.

Very much the, er, friend in mourning.

Thank you.

So, what was the plan?

It was extremely clever. I'd love to know how you did it.

I suppose it won't do any harm as you two won't be going anywhere.

All Antoine had to do was to row himself out...

..then adorn the bag with the coins, and then wait to be discovered.

Dr Martin was parked on the beach and the rest ran like clockwork.

So the coins were just to frame Marilyn?

Exactly.

But I thought you were in love with Marilyn.

Good grief, no!

No. She was becoming increasingly annoying,

so we thought we would kill two birds with one stone.

So the plastic bag and the ex-boyfriend story,

that was just to... to frame Hugo?

Hugo kill my little girl.

She never got to live her life.

So, as long as I'm alive, Hugo will keep paying for that.

Mm, and that plastic bag,

quite entertaining how it sent you and your police friend

on such a wild goose chase!

And to be honest, we couldn't decide who to frame,

so we framed them both.

But why?

We were drowning in debt.

Going under.

If we paid our bills, we would have been left with nothing.

And then we found a clause in our insurance contract

that if one of us dies, all debts would be paid.

And the partner will be able to carry on.

The plan was to "kill" Antoine.

And then I had a doctor friend to line up the death certificate.

Then I would trade for a year, sell up,

and then meet him in Barbados.

Wow.

You had it all worked out.

We thought we did... until you got here.

Things have changed... somewhat.

Well...

I'm afraid you have to go now.

But, please, finish your coffee first.

I'm sorry.

CRASHING

Caron! Are you both OK?

How did you know?

Something didn't add up in the doctor's report.

He would not answer his phone,

so I went to the private hospital to ask him myself.

The building turned out to be a supermarche.

There was no private hospital and never has been in that area.

I knew then something was wrong.

Oh, Andre!

I have never been so happy to see your little face.

LAUGHTER

What was all that nonsense about wine you were saying yesterday?

What, about you getting scammed?

SHE CHUCKLES Don't be ridiculous.

I really like the Rotteau sisters. I hope you sorted it out.

Yes. In fact, we've got a delivery coming any minute.

HORN TOOTS

Ooh, that'll be them now. Come and join us.

Bonjour, madame. Bonjour, messieurs-dames.

Examinez les boxes, s'il vous plait?

Mais, oui.

Voila. Merci.

Could you read the label out loud for me, Gloria?

Of course, Patrick. SHE CLEARS THROAT

"Ce vin ne vaut meme pas le prix de la bouteille

"de verre qui le contient."

Which means, dear friend,

"This wine is not worth the glass it's bottled in."

And don't come back!

Don't worry, they won't bother you again.