Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- WHAT MANY OF YOU MAY NOT KNOW

IS THAT I'M A CHILD OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

I WANT EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE

TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS

JUST LIKE I DO.

[cheers and applause]

- KYLE AND I LEFT ON AN UNCOMFORTABLE NOTE.

SHE SAID, "WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE INTERESTED IN YOU

WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

- I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T THINK THAT.

- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU JUST CAN'T COP TO IT.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep] LIAR, CAMILLE.

[upbeat music]

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT ALL

BUT I WANT MORE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW,

AND I KNOW EVERYONE.

- MONEY IS WHAT I HAVE, NOT WHO I AM.

- I WAS A CHILD STAR,

BUT NOW MY MOST IMPORTANT ROLE IS BEING A MOTHER.

- IN A TOWN FULL OF PHONIES,

I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE ME.

- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT OF

MY HUSBAND'S SHADOW AND SHINE.

- KEN?

- YEAH?

- COME ON, WE GOTTA GO.

- YOU OKAY TO DRIVE?

- YEAH.

NOW I HAVE AN AMERICAN DRIVING LESSON,

SO EVERY TIME I GET STOPPED,

I'M GOING TO HAVE A MUCH HARDER TIME

TALKING MY WAY OUT OF IT.

- WHY ARE YOU GOING SO FAST?

- I'M NOT GOING FAST.

- OH, DEAR.

- DARLING, I LOVE YOU,

BUT YOU ARE PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST DRIVERS I KNOW.

- REALLY? - YOU ARE NOT ONE TO TALK.

I HAVE NEVER HAD A TICKET.

- NO, BECAUSE THEY CAN'T CATCH YOU.

- [laughs]

IN LONDON, WE DRIVE MUCH MORE AGGRESSIVELY.

IN CALIFORNIA, YOU'VE GOT ALL THIS SPACE

AND EVERYBODY DRIVES AT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, TEN MILES AN HOUR.

WHAT IS THIS GUY'S PROBLEM?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

[horn honks]

[both laugh]

[horn honks]

- MY DAUGHTER'S ON THE DANCE SQUAD NOW

AND SHE'S EIGHT-- SHE'S BUSY.

- IT GOES FROM THEM HAVING, UM, LIKE, A LOT OF FREE TIME

AND YOU CAN BE WITH THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT,

TO THEN THEY HAVE REAL SCHEDULES.

- AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT TIME

THAT YOU HAVE NOW WITH YOUR DAUGHTER,

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE ONCE THEY'RE IN SCHOOL,

YOU DON'T SEE THEM AS OFTEN.

I HAVEN'T SEEN A LOT OF THE LADIES SINCE NEW YORK.

TAYLOR'S PLAYFUL, SHE'S FUNNY,

SHE SEEMS REAL.

I TRUST WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

SHE SEEMS GENUINE.

- WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING TO DRINK TO START OFF WITH?

- SURE.

I'M GONNA TRY THE STRAWBERRY, THE FIRST,

THE ORIGINAL WITH VODKA.

- AND I'll TRY THE MOJITO. - OKAY.

- SO SATURDAY NIGHT,

I'M HAVING A DINNER AT MY HOUSE.

- OKAY.

- I WANTED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE DRAMA

IN NEW YORK CITY.

BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ME

TO REUNITE US AND MAYBE, UH, YOU KNOW,

ME OPENING UP MY HOME TO THEM,

THEY'LL FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.

IT'LL BE NICE.

AND WE HAVE A PIZZA OVEN, SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO

IS I'M GONNA HAVE A CHEF COME.

- THAT'D BE REALLY NICE.

AND IT'LL BE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VIBE THIS TIME.

- UM, I THINK I'M GONNA BE, UM, CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC.

- I LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT.

- SO WE'LL SEE.

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO FORGIVE PEOPLE ANYWAY.

I'M WORKING THROUGH THAT.

READING MY BOOK OF FORGIVENESS.

SOME OF MY BOOKS. - OKAY.

- AND MY STACK OF, LIKE, SELF-HELP BOOKS, AND, UH...

- AND IT'LL BE JUST THE SIX OF US?

- UM, NO.

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND JOINING ME,

AND YOU KNOW THE SHOW MEDIUM,

THE TV SHOW MEDIUM? - I DO.

- WELL, WE PRODUCE THAT SHOW. - OH, GOOD.

- AND IT'S THE REAL LIFE STORY BASED ON MY GIRLFRIEND,

ALLISON DUBOIS.

AND SHE'S GONNA BE MY GUEST.

- SHE'S AN ACTUAL MEDIUM?

- SHE'S AN ACTUAL MEDIUM. - OH, OKAY.

- A REAL LIVE PSYCHIC/MEDIUM.

SHE'S FANTASTIC.

AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN I INVITE HER TO ANYTHING,

I DON'T ASK HER TO READ ANYBODY BECAUSE

THAT'S NOT WHY SHE'S COMING, 'CAUSE SHE'S MY FRIEND.

SHE'S COMING JUST TO BE A GUEST.

- I SEE. OKAY.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING HAVING HER AROUND

BECAUSE SHE DOES GET MANY DIFFERENT HITS

ON DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND DIFFERENT THINGS AND,

YOU KNOW, I'll MAKE SURE-- I WAS LIKE, "KEEP IT LIGHT."

- YEAH, RIGHT. NOTHING TOO HEAVY.

- NOTHING TOO HEAVY.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA GO DOWN.

- MM-MM.

- I JUST GOTTA MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GET DRUNK.

MY GIRLFRIEND, ALLISON, DOES LIKE TO DRINK.

SHE ENJOYS A COCKTAIL

AND WHEN SHE HAS TOO MANY,

SHE MAY HIT BELOW THE BELT A BIT.

-

ADRIENNE. - YES?

I HEARD. BITS--SORRY.

BITS AND PIECES.

- [sighs] - WHAT HAPPENED WITH COLIN?

WAS HE OKAY? DID HE GO, "DADDY, I'M SORRY?"

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MAKE HIM FEEL BAD.

- NO, I JUST--I JUST SAID, "JUST STOP JUMPING ON MY BACK."

- YEAH, BUT KIDS DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE--

YOU WERE WRESTLING WITH HIM, RIGHT?

- YEAH, BUT DON'T JUMP ON SOMEONE'S FACE.

- YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC.

- I MEAN, HE LAUNCHED HIS KNEE INTO MY NOSE.

- YEAH, LIKE, A FOUR-YEAR-OLD DID THAT ON PURPOSE.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

ADRIENNE, MY NOSE WAS COLLAPSED IN.

DID YOU SEE INSIDE? LOOK AT--LOOK AT MY NOSE.

- I CAN TELL NOW. - HOLD ON. COME HERE.

- I'M JUST SAYING "ARE YOU SURE, DEANNA--"

- LOOK. LOOK AT THOSE SPLINTS INSIDE MY NOSE.

THOSE ARE BIG PIECES OF SILICONE.

- I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT.

- ADRIENNE THINKS SHE'S A LOT TOUGHER THAN ME.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S MISS MARTIAL ARTIST

AND MISS BOXER.

I'VE NEVER FELT PAIN LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE.

- HE'S GOT A GREAT FRONT KICK THOUGH.

IT WAS NO BIG DEAL TO ME.

ROUGHHOUSING IS JUST PART OF GROWING UP.

- WHAT ABOUT A LITTLE NECK MASSAGE OR A LITTLE--

- OH, HERE WE GO. - LITTLE TLC TONIGHT.

- OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE GONNA MILK ME FOR THIS ONE.

- I CAN'T BREATHE THOUGH.

[raspy nose breathing]

- MY 4-YEAR-OLD SON WAS MORE MATURE

THAN MY 40-SOMETHING-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND.

- WHERE'S THE LITTLE ZIPLOC BAGS?

- HE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. LET'S MOVE ON.

- OKAY. - SUCH A BABY.

[phone trilling]

- YES, IT'S CAMILLE GRAMMER FOR ADRIENNE.

- SHE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. MAY I TAKE A MESSAGE?

- YES. JUST TELL HER THAT CAMILLE CALLED.

I WANTED TO INVITE HER TO DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT.

SO IF SHE CAN GIVE ME A CALL, THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.

- I'LL GIVE HER THE MESSAGE.

[phone trilling] - HELLO.

- KIM. - HI, CAMILLE, HOW ARE YOU?

- I WANTED TO INVITE YOU OVER FOR A COCKTAIL PARTY.

- WELL, ALL RIGHT. WHAT TIME?

- UM, 7:00.

AND I'M GOING TO HAVE-- UM, I'M GOING TO START UP

MY PIZZA OVEN.

I HAVE A CHEF HERE.

WE'RE GONNA MAKE DIFFERENT PIZZAS FOR APPETIZERS.

AND THEN I'M GONNA HAVE A PLATED DINNER.

- OKAY.

- TELL YOUR SISTER TOO.

I LEFT-- I'M GONNA CALL HER NOW.

BUT IF I CAN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH HER,

PLEASE GIVE HER THIS MESSAGE, OKAY?

- I WILL. I WILL. - OKAY. OKAY, SEE YOU SOON. BYE.

[phone trilling] - HELLO.

- LISA, IT'S CAMILLE. HOW ARE YOU?

- CAN'T HEAR YOU. CAN YOU SPEAK UP A BIT?

- CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? - HOLD ON A SECOND.

- OKAY. - OKAY, THAT'S BETTER.

- CAN YOU HEAR ME? - WHAT'S THAT AGAIN?

- CAN YOU HEAR ME? - NO, BUT I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

- IS THAT BETTER?

HEY, LISA, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

IT'S CAMILLE. HI. HI.

I WANTED TO INVITE YOU TO MY HOUSE SATURDAY NIGHT.

OH, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

NO? IT'S CAMILLE.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S HER ANSWERING MACHINE.

OH, MY GOD. THAT IS SO FUNNY.

THAT'S BRILLIANT.

LISA, THAT'S BRILLIANT. THAT'S YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE.

I TOTALLY BOUGHT INTO IT.

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T-- I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T HEAR ME.

- [laughs]

- THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

- HELLO. - KYLE, IT'S CAMILLE.

- HEY, CAMILLE. HOW ARE YOU?

[dog barking] - FINE. GREAT.

EXCUSE MY DOG IN THE BACKGROUND.

[laughs] UM, I WAS CALLING ALL THE GIRLS

'CAUSE I WANTED TO INVITE YOU OVER

TO DINNER AT MY HOUSE SATURDAY NIGHT.

- OH.

I WAS ACTUALLY A LITTLE NERVOUS

WHEN SHE CALLED.

MY HEART KIND OF, LIKE, DROPPED.

LIKE... [gasps]

UH, THIS SATURDAY? - YEAH.

UM, I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE DINNER WITH MY FRIEND.

AND LET ME TRY TO GET OUT OF IT.

IF I COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT, COULD SHE COME WITH ME?

I CAN TRY TO GET OUT OF IT.

- YEAH. I MEAN, I DON'T MIND IF SHE--

OF COURSE SHE COULD COME.

- OH, OKAY.

- I MEAN, I HAVE EIGHT PEOPLE NOW.

MY TABLE--MY DINNING ROOM TABLE FITS TEN.

SO I MEAN, OF COURSE. OF COURSE.

- OH, OKAY. - AND, LIKE, COCKTAIL ATTIRE.

- BY MYSELF OR WITH MY FRIEND. - YEAH, THAT'S FINE.

BUT, LIKE, COCKTAIL ATTIRE. LIKE, LOOK NI--

YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, COCKTAIL. - OH, COCKTAIL ATTIRE.

- YEAH. - OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD.

THANKS, CAMILLE. - OKAY, YOU'RE WELCOME.

SEE YOU THEN.

I'M HAPPY ABOUT PUTTING TOGETHER THIS DINNER.

BUT, UM, I HOPE THAT I'M MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION.

COMING UP...

- YOU KNOW THAT SHOW MEDIUM ON TV?

THAT'S HER. - PATRICIA ARQUETTE PLAYS ME.

- OH, GOSH, I MUST WATCH IT.

- DID THOSE SHOES ARRIVE YET? - YEAH.

- OH, THEY ARRIVED.

DID HE SIGN THEM? - YEAH, HE DID.

- OH, GREAT.

"TO PINKY, LOVE CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN."

FANTASTIC.

LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT GRAFFITI ON THE BOTTOM.

NEVER MIND.

CAMILLE CALLED ME, INVITING ME FOR DINNER.

I'M, LIKE, A LITTLE WARY

BECAUSE OF WHAT WENT DOWN IN NEW YORK.

- I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T THINK THAT.

YOU THINK THAT.

- YOU SAID IT TO ME. - GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT.

- HOPEFULLY WE CAN BE CIVILIZED.

AND I THINK IT'S GENEROUS OF HER TO INVITE US ALL

FOR DINNER.

I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU TONIGHT,

YOU LITTLE SEX MONSTER.

GIVE ME A KISS. [kissing] GIVE ME A KISS.

[kissing] GIVE ME A KISS.

- MOM! - YES!

- OKAY, HONEY, SEND HER UP!

HEY, HOW ARE YOU? - HI.

HOW ARE YOU? MY HAIR'S WET.

BUT IT MIGHT NEED TO BE--

I DON'T KNOW. IS IT WET ENOUGH?

- IT'S PERFECT. - IT IS?

- BLOW IT OUT AND ADD SOME BODY, RIGHT?

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT BODY.

JUST, LIKE, I MEAN--

- OKAY, MAYBE JUST A REGULAR BLOW

AND THEN WE'LL DECIDE.

- YEAH. - WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S NEW?

- JUST, UM, I'M GOING OVER TO CAMILLE'S TONIGHT.

- REALLY?

HOW DID SHE SOUND WHEN SHE INVITED YOU?

- REALLY NICE. - NOT FAKE?

- NO. SHE SOUNDED REALLY SWEET.

AND, LIKE, "OH, YEAH."

I FELT BAD BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD PLANS

WITH FAYE THAT I'VE HAD FOR, LIKE, TWO WEEKS.

I DIDN'T WANT TO CANCEL.

I'VE BEEN SO BUSY,

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN CANCELING SO MANY PLANS WITH PEOPLE.

- YEAH, SHE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART.

- SO I SAID "DO YOU MIND IF I BRING MY FRIEND?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO, THE MORE, THE MERRIER,"

WHICH WAS NICE.

- THAT'S GREAT.

- SO, UM--

- WELL, SHE'LL FIT RIGHT IN.

- FAYE RESNICK IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.

I SHARE EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE WITH HER.

I'M SURE IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

BUT I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY THAT I HAD PLANS WITH FAYE

BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING SOMETHING, IT JUST--

- TOTALLY GOT YOU OFF GUARD. - YEAH.

NOW IT'S HAPPENED TO ME TWO TIMES.

I'M PREPARED.

- I'M KIND OF SURPRISED, ACTUALLY,

THAT YOU DECIDED TO DO THIS TONIGHT.

BUT I GUESS IT'S ON YOUR OWN TURF.

SO YOU CAN CONTROL IT A LITTLE BIT MORE.

- [laughs]

- D.D.'s ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.

AND, UH, SHE WANTED TO MEET ALL THE GIRLS.

NOW THIS CLOSET, I NEED SOMEBODY TO COME IN HERE

AND ORGANIZE THIS FOR ME, BECAUSE IT'S A MESS!

- SOMEBODY COLOR-- - I LOVE THIS.

LOOK AT THIS. THAT'S A SCREW.

AND THE BACK, IT SAYS "YOU."

- I LOVE THAT. MAYBE YOU SHOULD WEAR THAT TONIGHT.

- NO, NO. THAT'S FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.

- THAT'S FOR ANOTHER NIGHT. THAT'S MONDAY NIGHT.

THIS BLUE DRESS IS ALWAYS PRETTY.

- I WORE THAT ALREADY. - YOU ALREADY WORE THAT.

OKAY, SO THAT'S AN OUTER.

- OKAY. THIS: AWESOME.

- THAT I LOVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, EVERY SINCE YOU GOT THAT--

- IT'S A CHLOE DRESS. - I LOVE IT.

- AND IT'S LACY, AND IT'S DELICATE,

AND IT'S VERY GIRLY.

THE ONLY THING IS IT'S SEE-THROUGH.

SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT--

- THAT'S OKAY.

YOU HAVE, I'M SURE IN YOUR THOUSANDS OF BRA--

- I KNOW. I COLLECT LINGERIE, BY THE WAY.

I REALLY DO. FOR ME, IT'S LIKE CANDY.

BUT I CAN PRANCE AROUND BY MYSELF

IN FRONT OF MY MIRROR IN IT AND MAKE MYSELF FEEL GOOD

'CAUSE I'M ALONE ALL THE TIME ANYWAY.

- OKAY. WELL, WE FEEL REALLY BAD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

- [laughs] OKAY. NOT. - NOT.

- HELLO, MY DEAR. - HI.

- HI, YOU. YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

- THANK YOU. SO DO YOU, AS ALWAYS.

- AS ALWAYS.

- SO WHAT, WE'RE GONNA GO GET LISA?

- YEAH. IT'S A LONG DRIVE.

- SHE COULDN'T WALK ACROSS THE STREET.

- I KNOW. - OH, MY GOSH.

- HEY, YOU. - YOU SEXY GIRL.

- YOU LOOK LO--LOVELY.

[kisses]

- HI. HOW ARE YOU? [dog barking]

- GOOD CHOICE. - THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

- KIM, THE HOUSE IS GORGEOUS. - THANK YOU.

- CHEERS.

- ISN'T THAT THE EXIT FOR THE CANYON?

- WE'RE GONNA TAKE THE LITTLE--THE WINDY ROAD.

- WHICH ONE WAS CLOSED? - I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT THERE.

- IS IT ON THE BEACH?

OH. [laughs]

- I DON'T REALLY--

- I DON'T CARE IF YOU DO, BY THE WAY.

- NO, I WOULDN'T.

I DON'T DO LUNCH WITH CAMILLE.

WE DON'T HANG OUT.

MY LOYALTY'S TO MY SISTER.

- SO YOU'RE READY FOR A COCKTAIL AS WELL?

- OH, I AM SO READY FOR A COCKTAIL.

- I WAITED UNTIL I GOT HERE. - I KNOW. I GOT YOUR TEXT.

- GET YOURSELF ALL NICE AND READY.

- WE'RE PREPARED. - YEAH.

- ONE OF THE GIRLS WHO'S GOING TO BE THERE TONIGHT,

THE SHOW MEDIUM IS BASED AROUND HER.

CAMILLE SAID THE MORE A-- MORE SHE DRINKS,

THE MORE LIKELY SHE IS TO HAVE A--A FEELING.

- HERE. CHEERS. - CHEERS.

- HERE'S TO OLD FRIENDS AND NEW FRIENDS.

- I KNOW. MY NEW FRIENDS THAT YOU'LL MEET TONIGHT.

- AND NEW FRIENDS THAT MAY END UP BEING OLD FRIENDS.

- OH, YES, THEY'RE READY.

SOME OF THEM ARE OUT THE DOOR ALREADY.

[laughter]

BY CHOICE. MY CHOICE. BUT--

- WOW.

- I JUST WANT IT TO BE A FUN NIGHT.

I DON'T WANT ANY PROBLEMS OR DRAMA.

I DON'T WANT IT TO BE--

I WANTED IT TO BE NICE IN NEW YORK TOO.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [sighs]

I DIDN'T WANT FAYE TO GO WITH A CLOSED MIND.

I KEPT TELLING HER, YOU KNOW, "BE OPEN-MINDED.

"I KNOW IT'S HARD BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

IN NEW YORK."

AND BELIEVE ME, CAMILLE'S LIKABLE.

- BUT IF SHE'S MEAN TO YOU,

OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH HER.

- I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IT WAS JUST TWO FLUKE THINGS.

WE'LL SEE.

- ALL I KNOW IS EVERYBODY ADORES YOU.

YOU'VE HAD YOUR FRIENDS FOREVER.

- ADRIENNE. - YES?

- ARE YOU PREPARED?

- THERE'S NO WAY THINGS ARE GOING

TO GO AWRY WITH ADRIENNE IN TOW.

- NO, I KNOW.

- SHE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS

AND I'M GONNA BE TOTALLY JEALOUS.

- YOU WOULD NOT BE JEAL-Y. - YES, I WOULD.

- BELIEVE ME, SHE'S NOT GONNA BE MY BEST FRIEND.

- I'M NOT ABOVE BEING JEALOUS.

- I WILL BE NICE. SHE'S NOT GONNA BE MY BEST FRIEND.

HER REALITY AND MY REALITY ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.

- WE STILL HAVE HORSES. YEAH.

WE BRING OUR HORSES HERE ONCE IN A WHILE.

I MIGHT TAKE UP RIDING AGAIN.

- YOU SHOULD. REMEMBER HOW GOOD YOUR BUTT WAS GETTING TOO?

- YEAH. THANK YOU FOR THAT.

- SHE SURFS TOO. YOU CAN BOUNCE A QUARTER OFF HER ASS.

- YEAH, HERE WE GO.

- OH, LOOK, YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE.

- HI, GUYS!

- THIS IS STUNNING. WOW.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

MWAH. MWAH.

- I CAN SEE WHY YOU NEVER LEAVE. IT'S SO GORGEOUS.

MWAH. MWAH.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG.

- THIS IS ALLISON DUBOIS. THIS IS LISA.

IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND ADRIENNE. AND THIS IS TAYLOR.

[greetings]

AND THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS.

- TELL ME YOUR NAME? - DEIRDRE.

- DEIRDRE. TAYLOR. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

- YOU KNOW THAT SHOW MEDIUM?

- HUH? - THE SHOW MEDIUM ON TV.

- YEAH, I'VE NEVER SEEN IT. - THAT'S HER. THAT'S HER.

THAT SHOW IS ABOUT HER. - IT'S BASED ON HER LIFE.

- PATRICIA ARQUETTE PLAYS ME.

- SO YOU CONSULT ON IT? - YES.

BUT I HAVE THIS WHOLE OTHER LIFE

OF ACTUALLY HAVING A JOB-- LIKE DOING SOMETHING REAL.

I'M PROFILING SERIAL KILLERS. - OH, REALLY?

- BUT THE SHOW IS A NICE ADDITION.

IT SHOWS PEOPLE WHAT I DO.

- OH, GOSH, I MUST WATCH IT.

- CAMILLE HAD TWO OF HER FRIENDS THERE.

ONE WAS HER BEST FRIEND AND ONE WAS HER SIDEKICK.

I MEAN, PSYCHIC.

- WHEN I GO OUT INTO THE FIELD,

I HAVE A GUN IN MY HOLSTER ON MY HIP.

- HUH. WHERE IS--I BET THEY'VE GONE SOMEWHERE ELSE.

- WE--KIM'S ALWAYS LATE. - THEY'VE CHICKENED OUT.

THEY'VE CHICKENED OUT.

- HI. - HEY, KIM.

THANK YOU FOR COMING. - THANK YOU.

- IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. - YOUR HOUSE IS BEAUTIFUL.

- THANK YOU. KYLE. - HI.

HOW ARE YOU? - THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

- THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR HAVING US HERE.

- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

WHEN I FIRST GOT THERE.

THERE WAS, OF COURSE, THAT INITIAL,

AWKWARD MOMENT AGAIN.

HERE WE GO AGAIN.

BUT EVERYBODY SEEMED TO BE GETTING ALONG GREAT.

- HEY. CAMILLE GRAMMER. WELCOME TO MY HOUSE.

- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU FOR COMING.

- VERY SWEET.

- CHEERS, LISA.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE DRIVE UP.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- I KNOW. ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE--?

- LOOKS LIKE I COULD SWIM IN THIS.

THE CAMILLE COCKTAIL WAS LIKE A BOWL OF SOUP.

IT WAS HUGE.

YUMMY.

AND I TOOK A COUPLE OF SIPS

AND IT WAS OBVIOUSLY DESIGNED TO KIND OF BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF.

- THESE ARE GINORMOUS. - CHEERS.

- CAMILLE, YOUR EVENT ON MONDAY, IS EVERYBODY GOING?

- YEAH. - OKAY, YOU'RE ALL--

OKAY, GOING, GOING.

AND I DON'T MIND COMING TO TOWN.

ANY EXCUSE I CAN, I WILL. - YEAH.

- OKAY, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO MAKE OUR WAY

OVER TO THE DINNING ROOM.

- I HOPE THEY'RE BRINGING THE PITCHER FOR US.

WE'RE HAVING A GIRLS' NIGHT, RIGHT?

[laughs]

- MY TWO GUESTS OF HONOR, SIT HERE.

BUT YOU'RE ALL MY GUESTS OF HONOR.

BUT I'M GONNA HAVE D.D. AND ALLISON SIT NEXT TO ME.

AND THEN YOU GUYS SIT WHEREVER YOU WANT.

- LET US CHAT, AND LAUGH, AND HAVE FUN.

- OH, MY GOD.

[all speaking at once]

- [laughs]

- FLOWERS ARE AMAZING, CAMILLE.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH THE FLOWERS.

CHEERS.

- IT'S SATURDAY.

SEE, I'M STILL YOUNG,

SO WHEN SATURDAY HITS, I GET ALL EXCITED.

I'M, LIKE, "YEAH. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO," RIGHT?

AND THAT PART OF ME STILL COMES OUT.

AND IT'S A GIRLS' NIGHT.

SO WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY, REALLY BAD

IN A CONTROLLED SETTING.

- [laughs nervously]

- COMING UP... - AND YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW HER?

I SAW HER NAKED IN PLAYBOY.

I REALIZED, "OH, MY GOD, THAT'S WHO IT IS."

THE MORALLY CORRUPT FAYE RESNICK.

[soft chatter]

- [laughs]

- MY ANGEL OF MERCY.

[laughter]

- I ACTUALLY SAT NEXT TO ALLISON,

WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE MEDIUM.

AND, OF COURSE, WHEN I FIRST MET HER,

I THOUGHT SHE WAS A LITTLE STRANGE.

- THE LOVE THAT THEY HAVE AFTER THEY DIED

IS STRONGER THAN ANYTHING WE CAN IMAGINE.

- RIGHT.

BUT I GUESS IF YOU'RE TALKING TO DEAD PEOPLE,

YOU WOULD BE.

- I HAVE ONE BIG BROTHER. NO SISTERS.

IT'S WHY I LIKE HANGING OUT WITH ALPHA FEMALES,

'CAUSE YOU'RE KIND OF INTELLIGENT AND PRETTY.

LIKE, YOU'RE ALPHA.

- I THINK WE SHOULD TOAST TO THAT.

- ALPHA FEMALES. - ALPHA FEMALES.

[all speaking at once]

- CHEERS TO THE ALPHAS. WAIT, ARE WE ALPHAS?

WE'RE JUST ASSUMING. "OH, THANK YOU.

OH, WAS THAT US?" [laughs]

- I WOULD SAY EVERYBODY HERE IS AN ALPHA FEMALE.

I WOULD SAY THAT. I THINK THAT'S VERY COOL.

- IN THEIR OWN WAY.

- AND YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE'S THE THING,

PEOPLE PUT ALPHA FEMALES DOWN SO MUCH IN OUR SOCIETY.

- WELL, THEY NORMALLY CALL THEM BITCHES, DARLING.

- YEAH, EXACTLY.

- SO NOW HOW DO YOU KNOW FAYE? AND WHO IS FAYE?

I KNOW--I MEAN, THIS IS-- I KNOW SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO FAYE IS.

- SHE'S A VERY CLOSE FAMILY FRIEND.

I CONSIDER HER LIKE A SISTER. - OH, THAT'S NICE.

AND YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW HER?

I SAW HER NAKED IN PLAYBOY.

THAT'S HOW I KNOW FAYE.

- "OH...FAYE...

I JUST REALIZED,"

LIKE SHE JUST OPENED UP A MAGAZINE LAST WEEK

AND HAPPENED TO SEE IT.

- SHE POSED NAKED IN PLAYBOY AFTER THE O.J. TRIAL.

THAT'S HER.

- I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS A CALCULATED SENTENCE

ON CAMILLE'S PART.

I FIND CAMILLE DIFFICULT TO READ.

BUT I DO KNOW, AS THE HOST OF A DINNER PARTY,

I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT.

- AND I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED AMAZING.

- THANK YOU.

- I RECOGNIZED DURING THE DINNER--

IT WAS THE HAIR.

I THINK IT'S THE EXTENSIONS AND THE BLOWN UP FAKE LIPS.

BUT, UM, AND THEN I REALIZED, "OH, MY GOD, THAT'S WHO IT IS.

IT'S FAYE RESNICK."

THE MORALLY CORRUPT FAYE RESNICK.

AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT I LOVED YOUR SPREAD.

- LITERALLY.

[laughter]

- ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T SPREAD.

I DIDN'T SPREAD. - NO, YOU DIDN'T.

- CAMILLE... DIDN'T YOU DO PLAYBOY?

- YES. - YOU DID.

WHEN DID YOU DO PLAYBOY? - YEARS AGO.

THAT'S WHEN I MET KELSEY.

I DIDN'T DO THE MAIN--

IT'S JUST LIKE A SUPPLEMENT.

I WASN'T--I DID THE, UM, PLAYBOY BOOK OF LINGERIE.

- IT'S CLOTHES.

- WHAT?

- LINGERIE? I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT OF PLAYBOY

WAS NO LINGERIE.

- I MEAN, OKAY, WE GOT INTO THIS CONVERSATION

HOW I POSED FOR PLAYBOY TOO.

BUT I WAS IN MY EARLY 20s

AND WASN'T COMING OFF OF A BIG MURDER TRIAL

THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WAS KILLED.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST A WHOLE DIFFERENT--

I CAN'T--THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE I DON'T UNDERSTAND

AND I DON'T WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH.

- THOSE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES.

AND SHE THREW A BIG BOULDER.

- THEY WANT KYLE AND I TO DO IT AS SISTERS.

[laughter] - EEW. BLECH.

[laughter continues]

- THE, UH, MEDIUM NEXT TO ME TO MY LEFT

WAS REALLY ENJOYING HERSELF,

BECAUSE I SAW HER DOWN, I THINK, TWO OR THREE COCKTAILS.

AND THESE WERE VERY STRONG COCKTAILS.

I ACTUALLY TOOK TWO SIPS AND I WAS, LIKE, "WOW."

- AAH!

- AND THEN ALLISON DUBOIS

PULLS OUT THIS ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE.

I THINK IT'S, LIKE, A PROP FROM SOME MOVIE OR SOMETHING.

- AND SHE WAS, LIKE... [inhales]

[exhales]

AND I'M THINKING "THAT'S JACK NICHOLSON

FROM THE SHINING."

THAT'S ALL I COULD SEE WAS JACK NICHOLSON

IN THE SHINING.

[soft chattering]

- ALLISON, I NEED TO ASK YOU.

DO YOU KIND OF FEEL LIKE PEOPLE THAT HAVE PASSED

ARE AROUND?

- I DEFINITELY MAKE SURE WITH PEOPLE WHO DIED,

LIKE, IF I'M AT A DINNER PARTY WITH Y'ALL,

THEY GOT TO TAKE A SECOND CHAIR BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONES

THAT I'M FOCUSED ON.

BUT I HEAD TAP PEOPLE TOO. SO I PULL THOUGHTS.

BUT, LIKE, I'LL BE ABLE TO, LIKE, TAP INTO SOMEBODY

AND BE, LIKE, "SHE HAS FATHER ISSUES.

"HER MOTHER KEPT HER MOUTH CLOSED.

"DIDN'T STAND UP TO THE FATHER.

"THAT'S WHY SHE HAS MOTHER ISSUES.

"AND THE DADDY ISSUES.

DADDY WAS, LIKE, NEVER THERE."

AND SO I START PULLING THAT INFORMATION.

- ARE YOU HEAD TAPPING ME NOW? - NO.

- OH, GO ON.

- I HAD BROUGHT ALLISON BASICALLY AS A GUEST.

AND I DIDN'T WANT HER TO FEEL LIKE SHE HAD TO PERFORM

FOR ANYBODY THAT NIGHT.

- DON'T THINK I'M DOING THIS TO YOU LADIES

'CAUSE WE'RE HAVING A GIRLS' NIGHT.

AND I RESPECT.

- AND WE RESPECT YOU

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR GIRLS' NIGHT TOO.

EXACTLY.

- CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?

- I THINK I'VE BEEN HAVING A GREAT CONVERSATION

WITH YOU ALL.

- NO, BUT I MEAN, CAN'T YOU--

IS MY GRANDMOTHER HERE?

- I MEAN, TO ME IT'S LIKE A DOCTOR

AT A DINNER PARTY.

YOU'RE ALWAYS LIKE "OH, CAN YOU TELL ME

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME HERE?"

SO NATURALLY I'M GOING TO ASK HER

ABOUT HER CHOSEN PROFESSION.

- I WAS STUDIED BY A SCIENTIST FOR SEVERAL YEARS

AND ON OPRAH IN FRONT OF 70 MILLION PEOPLE.

I'M KIND OF LIKE A DRUG.

ONCE YOU GET ONE, YOU WANT IT AGAIN.

- OOH. - OOH.

- I'M JUST--I'M JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE.

I'M JUST BEING HONEST.

AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT WE'RE HAVING A GIRLS' NIGHT, SO I'M OFF THE CLOCK.

- WE'RE JUST CURIOUS.

- THIS IS WHY VODKA IS...

- YOU DIDN'T EAT DINNER

SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO WATCH YOU ON THESE.

- OH, YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WATCH ME.

- DID YOU EAT? - NO.

- SHE'S OFF THE CLOCK.

MAYBE I SHOULD WHIP OUT MY CREDIT CARD.

- [chuckles]

- SHOULD I DO THAT AND SAY "HOW ABOUT NOW?

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION NOW?"

- SO, ALLISON, CAN WE JUST HAVE ONE PERSON?

EVERYBODY IS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE FACT

THAT YOU ARE SO GIFTED.

- DON'T TEMPT ME. REALLY.

- OOH.

- WHO ARE YOU LOOKING AT WHEN YOU SAY THAT?

- TOUCHE, BABY.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN: "DON'T TEMPT ME"?

- OH, NO. NO, DON'T, KYLE. SAVE YOURSELF.

I'M TELLING YOU. I FEEL THIS IS NOT A GOOD SITUATION.

- DON'T GET ME STARTED.

- BE HONEST. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE?

'CAUSE SHE MIGHT PULL STUFF

THAT SOME PEOPLE WANT NOT WANT TO HEAR.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S BEST FOR HER TO PERFORM A READING

ONE-ON-ONE BECAUSE A LOT OF PERSONAL STUFF COMES UP.

SO IF SOMEBODY'S HUSBAND'S CHEATING ON THEM OR SOMETHING,

SHE'LL KNOW IT.

AND YOU JUST DON'T-- - I LOVE IT.

- DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT? NO, BUT DO YOU WANT TO?

- WELL, COULDN'T YOU JUST TELL US STUFF

WITHOUT TELLING US ANYTHING SCARY?

- SOMETHING THAT'S NOT SCARY? OH, MY GOD.

BUT WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOU MIGHT BE IRRITATING TO YOU.

- TELL ME. I DON'T CARE.

- JUST SAY IT. JUST SAY IT. - I DON'T CARE.

- OKAY. OKAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED TWICE?

- UH-HUH.

- OH.

- WELL, THEN THAT'S THE LAST ONE YOU HAVE.

I GUESS THAT'S GOOD NEWS. [laughs]

I WAS THINKING SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO GET MARRIED AGAIN.

WHICH MEANING YOU'D HAVE A DIVORCE.

- IF MY HUSBAND EVER LEAVES ME, I'M GOING WITH HIM.

- HE WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY FULFILL YOU. EVER. KNOW THAT.

AS SOON AS THE KIDS ARE BIGGER,

YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON.

- OKAY. - OH, MY GOSH.

HERE WE GO.

I WAS WAITING FOR KYLE TO FLY ACROSS THE TABLE.

- I DISAGREE. - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

- BUT WHAT I DO, PEOPLE DON'T SEE.

THEY DON'T SEE IT.

AND THEN WHEN IT HAPPENS, THEY'RE, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."

- NO, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

KYLE PUSHED FOR THAT READING.

ALLISON ALREADY HAD A FEW DRINKS.

KYLE PUSHED FOR IT.

I BEGGED THEM NOT TO GO THERE

BECAUSE I THINK IT'S A PERSONAL READING.

- ANYTHING ELSE?

- MAKE SURE THAT YOU PUT THE WALLS DOWN

FOR OTHER FEMALES COMING INTO THE LIFE.

I FEEL LIKE YOU TALK TO MALES MORE EASILY THAN FEMALES.

- THAT'S ME.

- I THINK YOU'RE MIXING HER UP WITH KYLE.

- THAT'S ME.

- THAT'S-- YEAH, MAYBE--I AM--

I AM MUCH MORE A GIRL'S GIRL.

- I AM DEFINITELY MORE COMFORTABLE AROUND MEN.

- I AM TOO. - I JUST DON'T.

- I FEEL ALSO WOMEN ARE VERY CATTY TO ME.

WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN REALLY CATTY.

- THEY ALWAYS WILL BE. THEY ALWAYS WILL BE.

- I KNOW THAT. SO I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GUARDED.

- WHY? THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE.

- GIRLS ARE VERY CATTY WITH HER AND INSECURE.

- IN NEW YORK--

- MAYBE THAT'S WHY WE HAD AN ISSUE.

- OH NO, NOT NEW YORK.

- MAYBE YOU'RE MORE DEFENSIVE.

AND I WAS-- - YEAH. THAT COULD BE IT.

MAYBE I FELT I HAD TO BE DEFENSIVE.

- YOU'RE OFFENSIVE.

- ANY ISSUES THAT CAME ABOUT IN NEW YORK

WAS NO ILL--NO.

NO--I HAD NO ILL INTENTIONS.

- I THINK--I GUESS IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING.

SHE KNOWS NOTHING.

I DIDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

- NO, YOU HESITATED.

- I JUST SAID

"I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING.

BEFORE SHE GOT HERE, I SAID "I DON'T--

I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING"

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT IT TO FEEL--

- THAT'S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE, HONESTLY.

THE REALITY-- THE REALITY OF IT--

AND I AM LIKE, HONEST GIRL BEYOND BELIEF.

- THAT'S DISMISSING WHAT I'M SAYING.

- I JUST SAY WHAT I FEEL.

- FAYE WAS LIKE A PANTHER

PROWLING THROUGH THE JUNGLE.

- BY YOU SAYING THAT IS SAYING THAT I'M NOT TELLING THE TRUTH.

- GIRLFRIENDS TELL EACH OTHER WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.

KYLE TELLS ME WHAT'S HAPPENING IN HER LIFE.

AND IF YOU WERE HER GOOD GIRLFRIEND,

YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN HER LIFE.

- SHE KIND OF SAID "OH, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT

FOR A SECOND."

I THOUGHT, "HERE WE GO."

- SO YOU'RE SAYING WE'RE NOT GOOD GIRLFRIENDS

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

- MY PSYCHIC ABILITY TELLS ME, "NO."

- [gasps]

- COMING UP...

- YOU'RE OFF YOUR [bleep] ROCKER.

- OH, REALLY?

- THAT IS A [bleep] UP THING TO SAY.

- WHY DON'T YOU GO BLOW UP YOUR LIPS SOME MORE?

- ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

- SO YOU'RE SAYING WE'RE NOT GOOD GIRLFRIENDS

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

- MY PSYCHIC ABILITY TELLS ME, "NO."

- IF SHE NEEDS MY HELP, SHE WILL TELL ME.

SHE DOESN'T RELY ON ME. SHE CAN FIGHT HER ON BATTLES.

IF SHE CAN'T FIGHT HER OWN BATTLES

AND YOU HAVE TO BE THERE, SO BE IT,

BUT DON'T SAY I'M NOT THERE FOR CAMILLE.

- DID YOU COME HERE TO DEFEND KYLE?

'CAUSE THE WAY YOU'RE TALKING SOUNDS LIKE SHE CUED YOU IN

AND YOU CAME TO DEFEND HER.

IS THAT WHY YOU CAME HERE, FAYE, HONESTLY?

- NO, I CAME HERE TO BE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

- DID YOU COME HERE--

NO, I DON'T THINK SO AT THIS POINT.

- I DON'T DO WELL WITH CONFRONTATION.

AND IT WAS JUST COMING EVERY DIRECTION.

- OH, MY GOD,

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- YOU'RE USED TO THAT.

- ALL I KNOW IS THERE WAS AN ATTACK

MADE ON MY FRIEND.

- WAIT A SECOND. ATTACK?

WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND.

DID I THINK IT WAS A SETUP? ABSOLUTELY.

YEAH. I THOUGHT FAYE WAS THERE TO BE KYLE'S WINGMAN.

- CAMILLE, THAT'S THE WAY SHE SEES IT.

PLEASE, WE DON'T HAVE TO GO--

- HOW DID I ATTACK YOU?

I WAS AT THE TABLE--

- LET'S NOT HEAD BACKWARDS, PLEASE.

- FAYE, YOU WEREN'T THERE.

D.D. WAS IN NEW YORK, SO SHE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.

- BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE BACKSTORY, CAMILLE.

- DID I ATTACK KYLE? - NO.

HONESTLY, I WALKED IN AND ALL I SAW WAS--

- OF COURSE, BECAUSE, CAMILLE,

YOU SAT THERE THE ENTIRE NIGHT LIKE THIS,

YOU KNOW, WITH YOUR HAND THERE LIKE THAT.

- BUT THAT'S WHO I AM, KYLE.

- NO, THAT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE, CAMILLE.

THAT'S WHO YOU ARE PRETENDING TO BE.

- SHE'S NOT PRETENDING TO BE THAT.

THAT'S WHO SHE IS.

- OH, ALLISON,

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU. - OH, BUT I'M TALKING TO YOU.

- I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU. - BUT I'M TALKING TO YOU.

- 'SCUSE ME, YOU'RE BORING ME.

- ALLISON WAS STANDING UP FOR ME.

AND I--LISTEN, I'M GLAD BECAUSE SHE'S--

OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS THAT ARE THERE,

SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT STOOD UP FOR ME.

- CAMILLE, I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOU.

- YOU ARE ENTIRELY WASHED UP. ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

- I CAME HERE BRINGING ALLISON

'CAUSE ALLISON'S FOR INTERESTING CONVERSATION.

IT WAS FOR INTERESTING CONVERSATION--

- WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT

'CAUSE SHE'S NOW "OFF THE CLOCK."

- YOU'RE NOT HIRING ME. I'M A DINNER GUEST.

I WAS BEING POLITE.

WHEN Y'ALL WERE IRRITATING ME, I APPEASED YOU.

BE CLEAR ON THAT.

I HAVE BOOKS WRITTEN ON ME AND BY ME

AND HAD TELEVISION SHOWS BASED ON MY LIFE.

SO YOU CAN JUST, LIKE, TAKE A FLYING LEAP.

- I THINK THE PSYCHIC WAS WAY MORE PROVOCATIVE

THAN ANYBODY AT THE TABLE.

SHE'S NOT A PSYCHIC THAT I WOULD FEEL,

OH, YEAH, I'M GOING TO OPEN MY HEART TO.

NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

SHE--YEAH, SHE DEFINITELY WAS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF.

- YOU ARE. YOU ARE.

- I'M SO BORED WITH THIS CONVERSATION.

- THEN LEAVE. - I'M TOTALLY OVER IT.

- THEN LEAVE. IF YOU'RE OVER IT, THEN LEAVE.

WALK. YOU'VE GOT TWO LEGS THE LAST TIME WE CHECKED.

- OOH. - [gasps]

IS THAT WHAT YOU DO IS JUST ATTACK PEOPLE?

AND THEN WHEN THEY GET REAL, YOU JUST, LIKE, BECOME EVEN--

- THAT IS SO RICH COMING FROM SOMEBODY

THAT CAME HERE TO STIR UP [bleep].

- ALLISON, YOU'VE BEEN SITTING HERE

WITH A WEIRD ATTITUDE ALL NIGHT.

- A WEIRD ATTITUDE ALL NIGHT? WOW.

THEN WHY WERE YOU TALKING TO ME SO MUCH?

- I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT YOU.

- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,

YOU ARE NOT INTERESTING TO ME AT ALL.

- WELL, YOU'RE NOT TO MET EITHER.

- SO YOU CONTINUE BEING INTERESTED BY ME.

THAT'S AWESOME. YOU HAVE TWO LEGS TOO.

THEY CAN WALK. - EEW.

WHAT IS THIS? THIS WHAT SHE DOES?

IS THIS WHAT YOU DO?

- I FELT THAT IT STARTED OUT POSITIVE

AND IT WENT DOWN IN FLAMES.

- OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

- I JUST FELT LIKE IT WASN'T REALLY WORTH MY TIME

TO GET INVOLVED WITH THIS PETTY NONSENSE.

[all speaking at once]

- ALLISON, ALL I CARE--

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

ALL OF THIS IS UNIMPORTANT TO ME.

I HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.

LOOK HOW SHE TURNS HER HEAD LIKE THIS.

WHAT, ARE WE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?

- ALLISON WAS... [inhales]

[whispers] PUFFING AWAY.

- I HAD ALSO HEARD

THAT THINGS WERE SAID AT THE AIRPORT.

- AND THAT'S WHEN I CAME TO YOU AND I SAID

TO YOU, "WHERE DID THIS ALL COME FROM?"

AND YOU SAID, "TAYLOR, YOU WERE TELLING ME--"

- I WASN'T TELLING YOU ANYTHING. YOU WERE BAITING ME.

- I WASN'T BAITING. - YOU WERE 100% BAITING ME.

I WASN'T THERE.

- ALL OF THE SUDDEN,

I HEAR KIM AND TAYLOR FIGHTING AGAIN.

WHAT IS THIS? CONTAGIOUS?

I SAW YOU-- - PLEASE.

DO ME A FAVOR AND DON'T.

[all arguing]

- THIS IS ALL [bleep] TO ME, OKAY?

- I FEEL LIKE THE DINNER TABLE WAS JUST A SWIRLING TORNADO.

YOU NEED TO STAND UP AND SAY, "STOP."

- WHY DON'T YOU STAND UP AND SAY "STOP"?

- I CAN'T STOP YOU,

BECAUSE YOU'RE OFF YOUR [bleep] ROCKER.

- OH, REALLY? - THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU.

- OH, THAT'S WHAT I THINK ABOUT YOU.

- OKAY, ENOUGH. GIRLS, ENOUGH. ENOUGH.

ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH. ENOUGH.

WE'RE NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE.

I'M NOT HAVING THIS ANYMORE. ENOUGH.

GET UP.

THESE ARE NOT THE LADIES THAT WE ARE. ENOUGH.

- I DON'T GET IT.

I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM LIKE THIS

WITH A WOMAN IN MY LIFE.

I DON'T GET IT.

- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU, KYLE.

THAT'S THE WHOLE THING. I--I JUST...

WELL, AFTER NEW YORK, I KIND OF FELT BAD.

YOU DID CALL ME A DELUSIONAL BITCH.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON WITH HER

THAT MAYBE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW OR REALIZE.

I HONESTLY THINK IT'S JEALOUSY.

I THINK THERE'S SOME KIND OF JEALOUSY THERE.

I MEAN, I HATE TO SAY THAT. I HATE SAYING THAT.

BUT I THINK THAT IT'S A BIG PART OF THIS.

CAMILLE, IF SOMEONE SAYS TO YOU

"IS KELSEY GOING WITH YOU TO HAWAII?"

AND YOU SAY "NO" AND THEN YOU HEAR

"WHO WANTS YOU WITHOUT KELSEY?" THEN THAT'S DELUSIONAL.

- THAT IS A [bleep] UP THING TO SAY.

THAT'S A [bleep] UP THING TO SAY.

- WE CAN'T GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.

- SHE'S CAN'T SAY WHAT CAMILLE THOUGHT.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT. SHE'S NOT CAMILLE.

- I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, ALLISON.

- OH, YOU ARE 'CAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME.

- GET OVER IT. GO. WHATEVER.

SMOKE YOUR ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE AND DRINK YOUR MARTINI.

I'M TALKING TO CAMILLE.

- YOU SAID THAT. - NO. NO, YOU HEARD THAT.

YOU HEARD THAT. - YOU SAID THAT.

IF SHE SAYS YOU SAID THAT, YOU SAID THAT.

- OH, REALLY?

- YOU SAVE YOUR STORIES AND YOU TWEAK THEM.

- NO YOU JUST LOST ALL CREDIBILITY.

- ALL RIGHT. - ALL CREDIBILITY.

- I COULD GIVE A [bleep] WITH YOU, REALLY.

- IT'S ONE THING FOR US IF WE'RE DEALING

WITH A SITUATION.

- I COULD GIVE A [bleep].

- YOU AS A PSYCHIC SAYS "OH, YOU SAID THAT

BECAUSE CAMILLE SAID SO."

OH, THAT'S VERY PROFOUND.

- YOU'RE NOTHING. - YOU'RE DONE.

- YOU'VE DONE NOTHING. YOU'RE NOTHING.

- ALLISON, THAT'S OKAY. - YOU'VE DONE NOTHING.

- OH, COME ON, ALLISON. THAT'S ENOUGH.

- YOU'VE DONE NOTHING. - ALLISON, SHH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S GO.

- SUCH A BITCH. - LET'S GO, GUYS.

COME ON. COME ON. PLEASE.

- MY DAD SAID, "LIVE LIFE LARGE AND MAKE NO APOLOGIES

FOR WHO YOU ARE."

[bleep] THEM. - ALLISON--

- I DON'T GIVE A [bleep] WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT ME.

SHE CAN [bleep] OFF.

I CAN--I CAN TELL YOU WHEN SHE WILL DIE

AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER FAMILY.

I LOVE THAT ABOUT ME.

- I--I'M REALLY UPSET WITH THE WAY YOU--

- NO, I'M UPSET WITH YOU.

- I'M UPSET WITH YOU.

TAYLOR AND I JUST--

WHEN THERE'S CONFLICT,

JUST SEEM TO, LIKE, LOOK AT EACH OTHER

AND IT'S, LIKE, "MEOW."

- SHE'S STRESSING ME OUT SO BADLY.

- ME TOO. THAT'S HOW IT STARTED TONIGHT.

- UGH.

- THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. UM--OH, GOD.

- WATCH--WATCH YOUR STEP.

- BUT SHE'S GOT TO FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY.

SO IT'S GONNA BE ME, I GUESS.

- WE ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON WITH CAMILLE.

AND THEN YOU GUYS START-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

- SHE BROUGHT UP THE WORD "INSECURE"

AND SHE SAID--

AND YOU SAID YOU BROUGHT IT UP IN THE AIRPORT.

- IF I'M ALREADY HAVING A PROBLEM WITH CAMILLE,

AND THERE'S ALREADY PROBLEMS AND FIGHTING,

WHY DO YOU BRING THAT UP?

- I DIDN'T BRING IT UP.

- IN NEW YORK, YOU DID.

- OH, MY GOD.

- WE'RE HAVING A HORRIBLE NIGHT.

WE'RE HAVING ALL THIS FIGHTING.

ALL OF THE SUDDEN, YOU DECIDE

TO ATTACK TAYLOR OUT OF THE BLUE.

THIS IS JUST ADDING FUEL TO THE FIRE.

PUT YOUR GASOLINE AND MATCHES AWAY.

FLIPPIN' HAUNTED HOUSE AT DISNEYLAND.

I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS CRAP.

- I MEAN, IT WAS A FEW CLOWNS SHORT OF A CIRCUS.

- COMING UP...

- DO I HAVE ANY INTENTIONS OF BEING THEIR FRIENDS?

NO. - THEIR FRIENDS?

THEY CAN'T EVEN SPELL "FRIENDS."

SO THAT'D BE A NEGATIVE.

- KYLE'S A LITTLE BITCH.

SHE'S A LITTLE BITCH. SHE IS.

SHE'S THE RINGLEADER.

SHE'S ALL, "YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP."

KYLE WAS EVERY GIRL AT A HIGH SCHOOL

THAT MADE SOMEBODY KILL THEMSELVES.

SHE'S THAT CHICK.

SHE'S THAT-- NO, SHE'S THAT GIRL

THAT'S SO MEAN AND PROFOUNDLY BANKRUPT--

- YEAH, NO, I THINK SHE'S MORALLY BANKRUPT.

- I ALMOST SHOVED THIS UP HER [bleep] ASS

JUST TO PROVE A POINT.

EXCEPT I THINK SHE'D NEED A BIGGER ONE THAN THIS

TO EVEN FEEL IT.

- OH. - OH, YEAH, I WENT THERE.

- [laughs] YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE ANYMORE.

- GIRL, BITCH IS A ONE-SYLLABLE WORD FOR A REASON.

IT'S ALL THEY UNDERSTAND.

- YOU STARTED THIS! - WHAT?

- WAIT! NOW SHE'S--

- NEW YORK WAS WORSE.

- LET ME JUST SAY THIS, OKAY?

- YEAH. - IT MAY SEEM LIKE A--

- THE SPRINKLER'S COMING ON. - OH, [bleep].

- DID SHE TURN THEM ON? DID SHE TURN THEM ON?

- THE PSYCHIC TURNED THEM ON. [laughter]

- SO WEIRD. THE WHOLE SITUATION.

- IT WAS JUST A DISASTER.

I ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW DON'T KNOW

THAT THOSE TWO CAN EVER BE IN THE SAME ROOM AGAIN.

- KYLE SET THAT UP

BECAUSE KYLE BROUGHT FAYE.

- KYLE IS A CONSPIRATOR. - YEAH, I NOTICED THAT TOO.

- KNOW THAT.

- SHE CAME INTO MY HOME AND VERBALLY ASSAULTED ME.

UM, YOU KNOW, FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON--

YOU KNOW--HOW'S IT?

- WE'RE THE ONLY SANE PEOPLE IN HERE.

YOU AND I NEED TO STICK TOGETHER, OKAY?

- WE'RE GONNA RIDE IN ONE CAR AND YOU CAN TAKE THIS CAR

BECAUSE I CAN'T-- I DON'T WANT TO GO

OUT OF THE WAY AND THIS AND THAT.

I JUST WANT TO GET HOME NOW.

- OH, THAT'S GOOD, ALL YOU RIDE TOGETHER

AND TALK ABOUT--

- I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE NEIGHBORS WITH CAMILLE.

- CAN I JUST SAY THIS?

IF ANY OF THEIR CHILDREN DISAPPEARED,

THEY WOULDN'T BE, LIKE, "YOU WERE WRONG."

THEY'D BE, LIKE, "CAN YOU HELP--"

[bleep] THEM.

- I NEED A DRINK!

- THAT WAS HORRIFYING. - HORRIBLE.

- DID YOU NOT FEEL LIKE YOU WERE IN THE HOUSE OF HORRORS

BETWEEN THE PERSON SERVING THE DRINKS--

AND "WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?"--

TO THE GIRL WITH THE... [sucking]

- AND THE BAD DECOR.

- WITH THE ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE.

- KYLE'S AN ANGRY BITCH. SHE JUST IS.

IT'S ALL SHE WILL BE. KNOW THAT.

SHE ISN'T HAPPY WITH HER LIFE.

- I THINK YOU'RE MORE ON TO HER PERSONAL LIFE

WITH HER HUSBAND THAN SHE WANTS TO ACCEPT

AND SHE WAS EVEN WILLING TO ACCEPT IT.

- HE LOVES HIS NANNIES. YOU CAN'T FAULT HIM.

SHE'S AN ICY BITCH.

- HE LOVES MORE THAN HIS NANNIES.

- OH, YOU GUYS.

- I JUST--BUT-- [laughter]

HE LOVE WOMEN IN GENERAL. LET'S JUST SAY THAT.

LET'S BE NICE.

I'M NOT SAYING HE'S CHEATING ON HER.

- GIRL, I DIDN'T SAY YOU SAID THAT AT ALL.

- I JUST KNOW THAT HE REALLY LOVES WOMEN.

- THEY ALL LEFT AND WENT IN ONE CAR

AND LEFT ME TO GO HOME BY MYSELF.

[phone trilling]

- I MISSED THE PART OF... - KIM.

- WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT YOU AND LISA.

[phone trilling]

- BOY, THEY ALL SURE LOVE EACH OTHER, DON'T THEY?

- NO. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S EASY TO PICK ON ME

BECAUSE I'M THE NICE GUY.

BUT IF I WAS OUT OF THE SITUATION,

THEY WOULD TEAR EACH OTHER APART.

[cell phone rings]

- WELL, THAT GIRL-- THAT WOMAN WAS VERY STRANGE.

- THAT ALLISON WAS DISGUSTING. - SHE WAS VERY STRANGE.

- I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE HOUSE OF HORRORS.

- BUT, HONESTLY, I WOULD--I WOULD'VE THOUGHT

THEY WOULD'VE BEEN A LOT CLASSIER.

- THEM? YOU THOUGHT THEY'D BE CLASSIER.

- NO, I AGREE. - NO, IT IS A SLIGHT AGAINST ME.

- I THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS YOUR FRIEND.

BUT SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.

- SHE'S A SACRIFICIAL LAMB. THAT'S NOT OKAY.

- NO, SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.

- WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL AND POLO LOUNGE?

- I DO! - YOO-HOO!

[phone trilling]

- I WAS REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH KIM

BECAUSE SHE DID NOT HAVE MY BACK

AND SHE KNEW THAT.

POLO LOUNGE. - YES.

- POLO LOUNGE!

- DO I HAVE ANY INTENTIONS OF BEING THEIR FRIENDS? NO.

- THEIR FRIENDS?

THEY CAN'T EVEN SPELL "FRIENDS."

SO THAT'D BE A NEGATIVE.

- CAMILLE, SHE'S MEAN.

SHE SEEMS SWEET,

BUT SHE'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE CHEERLEADERS IN HIGH SCHOOL

THAT--RRR-- RIP YOUR--YEAH--YOUR HEART OUT.

[phone trilling]

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

[applause]

- UH-OH, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- THEN SHE SAID "WE WON'T BE DOING BUSINESS

WITH YOUR HUSBAND ANYMORE."

[cheers]

- CHECK OUT THOSE GUNS.

- AH.

- CAMILLE AND KYLE,

I DON'T THINK THERE'S A SMOOTH ROAD AHEAD.

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.

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