Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS:

- PARANOID AND DELUSIONAL.

GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT.

- SHE REALLY ACTED LIKE A CRAZED HOMELESS WOMAN.

- I THINK KIM SHOULD BE DATING.

I THINK IT'S PROBABLY TIME.

- SO THIS IS YOUR, UH, FIRST DATE TOGETHER?

- THIS IS OUR FIRST MEETING TOGETHER.

- YOUR MEETING.

- I LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID THAT.

- CEDRIC. - OH, MY GOD.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I JUST HOPE HE REALLY IS GAY

BECAUSE HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME WITH MY WIFE.

- WOW, CEDRIC.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT ALL,

BUT I WANT MORE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW,

AND I KNOW EVERYONE.

- MONEY IS WHAT I HAVE, NOT WHO I AM.

- I WAS A CHILD STAR,

AND NOW MY MOST IMPORTANT ROLE IS BEING A MOM.

- IN A TOWN FULL OF PHONIES,

I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE ME.

- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT OF

MY HUSBAND'S SHADOW AND SHINE.

- HEY, THERE. HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU. - ARE YOU READY?

- I'M READY.

- MAURICIO AND I ARE TRAINING RIGHT NOW

FOR A 69-MILE BIKE RIDE UP IN NAPA VALLEY

THAT IS TO RAISE MONEY FOR CANCER.

READY? - I THINK SO.

- OKAY.

I'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS EVENT

WITH MY CYCLING COACH, MARI HOLDEN,

WHO IS AN OLYMPIC MEDALIST.

MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN SO BUSY,

SO I KNOW HE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO TRAIN PROPERLY.

- YOU SHOULD PROBABLY, WHEN YOU'RE ON THE RIDE,

BE TRYING TO DRINK, LIKE,

ONE BOTTLE EVERY HALF HOUR OR SO.

- A WHOLE BOTTLE? I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

I CAN'T EVEN REACH DOWN TO GET THAT RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, WE'RE GONNA PRACTICE.

- RIDING BIKES IS SOMETHING I REALLY HAVE JUST DONE

WITH MY KIDS FOR FUN ON THE WEEKENDS

BY THE BEACH OR SOMETHING.

SO THIS WAS TAKING ON A LOT.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I FALL WHEN I'M GETTING MY OWN WATER?

- I DON'T-- NO, NO, NO, YOU WON'T--

- MY FEET BEING LOCKED IN LIKE THIS, I FEEL LIKE

WHEN I REACH DOWN, I'M GONNA BE, LIKE--LOSE MY BALANCE.

- SO YOU JUST KIND OF HAVE TO DO IT

AND THEN IT'LL BE FINE.

IT'LL BE, LIKE, SECOND NATURE PRETTY QUICKLY.

- YOU WANT A GOOD CHAMOIS LIKE WE HAVE.

WELL, WE HAVE-- LIKE RIGHT NOW,

YOU HAVE GOOD PADDING THERE.

BUT IF YOU PUT TWO OF THOSE,

IT WOULD ALMOST BE LIKE YOUR, YOUR SEAT ON YOUR BIKE.

IT'S TOO MUCH. - I LIKE THAT SEAT.

- [laughs]

- MARI HAS TOLD ME THAT I HAVE TO HAVE

AN EXTREME BIKINI WAX.

- NOT EVERYBODY, JUST THE SMART GIRLS.

[laughs] - JUST THE SMART GIRLS.

- THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO,

SO I DECIDED IT WOULD BE BETTER TO HAVE--

THAT PEOPLE COME TO ME TO DO THE WAXING,

JUST SO I'D FEEL A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE

IN MY ENVIRONMENT.

- [rings doorbell]

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

I THINK WE NEED TO HAVE A CHAT ABOUT IT.

- A CHAT?

- WHAT YOU WANT DONE, LIKE, HOW MUCH

YOU WANT TAKEN OFF--

- I WAS THINKING, LIKE, A DOROTHY HAMILL CUT.

[both laugh]

I DO NOT WANT THE TELLY SAVALAS,

I'M GONNA TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, OKAY. - YOU REALLY DO NOT WANT--

- I'M NOT INTO THAT.

I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY.

- DO THEY TAKE EVERYTHING OFF? YEAH.

- I GUESS IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT MORE COMFORTABLE

ON THE SEAT, UM, LESS FRICTION?

- [humming]

- THAT FEELS EVER SO GOOD. - YEAH. OKAY.

- [laughs] - YEAH.

THAT SMELLS SO WRONG.

- IT WILL BE SO RIGHT AFTERWARDS.

[tearing noise] - [screams and laughs]

[tearing noise] - OW!

[tearing continues] - [laughs] LOOK AT YOUR FACE.

- I'D LOVE TO GET SOME OF THIS TOP LAYER.

- WHY ARE YOU GOING OVER THERE?

THAT FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT IN A GOOD AREA.

- IT'S TINY. IT IS SERIOUSLY--

- THAT IS THE MAXIMUM.

I'VE DONE NOW. THAT WAS THE MAXIMUM.

- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

- TAKE A BREATH FOR ME. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH--

OH, MY GOD, YES.

OH, MY GOD.

- [laughing]

- ALEXIA, I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE SO ENTERTAINED BY THIS.

OW! MY GOD.

[laughs]

- I DID NOT PREPARE YOU FOR THAT ONE AT ALL, DID I?

THIS IS THE LAST ONE.

- OKAY, OKAY, THIS FEELS LIKE A REALLY BAD ONE.

[tearing noise] OW! MY GOD.

[laughter]

- ELBOWS.

GREAT. THREE HOOKS HERE.

- I STARTED OFF WANTING TO LEARN KICKBOXING

FOR SELF-DEFENSE.

BUT THEN I REALIZED ALL WOMEN SHOULD HAVE

AT LEAST AN IDEA OF HOW TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.

SO I INVITED TAYLOR TO JOIN IN WITH MY TRAINER.

HE'S A FIVE-TIME WORLD CHAMPION KICKBOXER.

- ALL RIGHT, OKAY, NICE. THAT'S PRETTY SHARP.

- AWESOME. - OKAY? SO THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S PRETTY SHARP. - WHOA. YEAH.

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD, ADRIENNE.

WILL YOU BE MY BODYGUARD? - YOU WERE GREAT.

- [laughs]

WELL, IN ALL THE YEARS I'VE KNOWN ADRIENNE,

SHE'S BEEN INVOLVED IN MARTIAL ARTS,

SELF-DEFENSE, KICKBOXING,

ALL OF THESE MACHO THINGS THAT SHE DOES

FOR A STRONG WOMAN, I LOVE IT.

- SO WHY DON'T WE START WITH A FEW STRIKES?

- OKAY. - OKAY, TAKE YOUR--

THAT'S YOUR JAB. GREAT, THAT'S NOT BAD.

- VERY GOOD.

- GOOD, GOOD. - ALL RIGHT.

- YOU THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE ON THAT, OR YOU'RE JUST--

[laughter] DOING YOUR THING?

- I'LL NEVER TELL. [laughs]

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

TWO, THREE, FOUR.

- THAT'S REALLY GOOD, ADRIENNE. YOUR FACE TOO.

- DO I LOOK ANGRY?

YOU KNOW, THIS WOULD BE AMAZING

FOR THE WOMEN AT MY CRISIS CENTER.

- OH, YEAH.

I VOLUNTEER FOR THE 1736 FAMILY CRISIS CENTER.

TAKE THE THUMBS, OVER THE TOP--

- COME AROUND. STRIKE.

- AND THEN OUT OF HERE. - AND THEN YOU'RE OUT OF THERE.

- IT'S A SAFE HAVEN FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN

WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

WITHIN THEIR HOME.

ALWAYS END ON A KNEE STRIKE.

- ALWAYS END ON A KNEE STRIKE.

- THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

- MY PLEASURE. - THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- YOU DID GREAT. - I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN,

BUT I'VE ENJOYED IT. - THANKS, KEV.

- THANK YOU. SEE YOU SOON.

- FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS,

THE CRISIS CENTER HAS HAD A CELEBRITY POKER TOURNAMENT

TO RAISE MONEY, AND THIS YEAR,

WE'RE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE ANNIE DUKE,

WHO'S WON THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER

CHAIRING OUR POKER TOURNAMENT.

THE POKER TOURNAMENT FOR THE CRISIS CENTER'S

COMING UP, AND YOU SHOULD COME.

I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO LEARN

A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THE ORGANIZATION.

- I WANT TO, ABSOLUTELY.

- PLAY A LITTLE POKER, IT'LL BE FUN.

- YEAH. YEAH, DEFINITELY.

I'M NOT VERY GOOD, BUT--

- I'M NOT EITHER, BUT WE'LL MAKE IT FUN REGARDLESS.

- ADJUST YOUR MIRROR, OKAY?

AND NOT SO YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF, CEDRIC.

YOU ADJUST YOUR MIRROR SO YOU CAN

SEE WHAT'S GOING ON BEHIND YOU, OKAY?

CEDRIC AND I NEED TO

GET OUR AMERICAN DRIVING LICENSE,

WHICH TO ME IS A SCARY CONCEPT.

WELL, I AM DRIVING WITH MY ENGLISH LICENSE,

WHICH IS PERFECTLY LEGAL, BUT HOWEVER, UM,

AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME LIVING HERE,

YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN AMERICAN DRIVING LICENSE.

OOH, MY SHIRT'S UNDONE.

I TOLD YOU, IT'S THE ONLY WAY I'VE GOT OF PASSING.

- WHAT IF THE INSTRUCTOR'S NOT A BOOB MAN?

[laughs] - IT'S THE ONLY CHANCE I HAVE.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY TO DO--

WAIT, HOW DO YOU CALL IT-- A 2.3 TURN?

NO, A 3.2. - A 3.2 TURN.

- WAS IT 4.5? - OH, NO PROBLEM.

OKAY, READY? GO. [imitates tire screeching]

[both laugh]

- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU JUST RAN OVER, LIKE, AN OLD LADY.

- TURN RIGHT HERE, AND THEN YOU WANT TO TURN AROUND.

AROUND. - HERE'S ONE. OKAY.

- SEE, YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG NOW.

- OH, STOP IT. HERE'S TWO.

- YOU HAVE TO DO IT FASTER, THOUGH.

I'VE GOT TWO LICENSES, OKAY?

- COME ON, THIS IS RIDICULOUS, I--

LISTEN, I'D BEEN DRIVING, OKAY, FOR 25 YEARS.

YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME--

- THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY CARS 25 YEARS AGO.

- OH, PLEASE. - ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD--

I SHOULD PRACTICE NOW.

- I THINK ONCE CEDRIC GETS HIS LICENSE,

AND THAT'LL BE THE FINAL COMPONENT IN HIM

GETTING HIS LIFE TOGETHER SO HE CAN MOVE OUT.

OKAY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO CRAZY, ARE YOU?

- MY NAME IS NOT LISA VANDERPUMP.

[laughs]

- BYE.

- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

- COME ON.

COME ON.

[laughs] I'M GONNA WAIT FOR YOU.

[laughs]

KEN HAS BEEN SAYING THAT CEDRIC HAS TO MOVE OUT.

AND I DO AGREE WITH HIM, IT'S TIME,

BUT WHO AM I GONNA PLAY WITH?

- COME ON.

- YOU'VE GOTTA GET UP EARLY TO CATCH ME, CEDRIC.

[laughs]

BYE.

- HI. - HOW ARE YOU?

I'M SORRY I'M LATE. - OH, IT'S OKAY.

- I'M SO STRESSED OUT.

- TELL ME WHY.

- UM, MONDAY I WOKE UP AND MY--

THE GIRL WHO WORKS FOR ME ON MONDAYS

SAID SHE COULDN'T COME.

HER BABY WAS SICK, WHATEVER.

AND THEN LULU, MY LIVE-IN,

DECIDED NOT TO COME YESTERDAY.

- RIGHT.

- AND I'M LEAVING FOR NAPA ON FRIDAY

SO ALL OF A SUDDEN, I HAVE NO HOUSEKEEPER.

I WENT AND LOOKED IN HER ROOM. EVERYTHING'S GONE.

- THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN.

- NO, KIM, AND I'M LEAVING FOR NAPA. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

- ARE YOU TAKING THE KIDS WITH YOU?

- WELL, MAURICE WANTED IT TO BE LIKE A ROMANTIC WEEKEND.

AND WE NEVER DO THAT.

AND HE GAVE ME THIS WHOLE TALK ABOUT HOW IT'S NOT FAIR

THAT WE NEVER DO ANYTHING ALONE.

SO I SAID, "OKAY, FINE."

I CAVED, AND I SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW,

WE'LL GO ALONE-- I'LL LEAVE THE KIDS."

SO NOW I THINK I SHOULD BRING THEM...TO NAPA.

- I WOULD TAKE THEM, PERSONALLY.

I THINK THAT THEY SHOULD BE THERE.

- YEAH, BUT LOOK WHAT THAT'S GOTTEN YOU.

[laughter] - WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE GETS SO ON ME

ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH MY KIDS.

AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES ME,

IT'S, LIKE, SHE PUTS ME DOWN...A LOT.

[cell phone rings] - LISA.

HI, LISA.

I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M SITTING HERE AT LUNCH WITH KIM.

- HI, LISA.

- HOLD ON.

- I'M RIGHT HERE.

- IT'S BEEN OVER A WEEK SINCE I SET UP KIM

ON A BLIND DATE WITH MARTIN.

THIS IS YOUR DATE FOR TONIGHT.

THIS IS KIM. - OH, GOOD. FINALLY.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO SEE YOU.

- I REALLY WANTED KIM TO PHONE MARTIN

AND TO THANK HIM FOR DRIVING HER HOME

BECAUSE IT WAS A LONG WAY FROM MOHAMED'S HOUSE,

AND SHE WASN'T CAPABLE OF DRIVING.

MAYBE SHE'D HAD ONE DRINK TOO MANY.

- DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.

"YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU." BOSSY, BOSSY, BOSSY.

THEY WON'T LET IT DOWN, KYLE AND LISA WILL NOT.

"OH, AND WHAT YOU DID TO MARTIN,

AND YOU NEVER CALLED MARTIN, AND YOU NEVER THANKED MARTIN."

MY PHONE DIED, AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANY WAY TO CALL ANYBODY.

AND I APOLOGIZE.

I WILL. OKAY.

- BYE. - BYE-BYE.

- WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MARTIN, BY THE WAY?

- I ACTUALLY LIKE MARTIN.

- I WOULDN'T KNOW IT.

SEE, THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T END UP...

- I'M FINE WITH IT.

- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU WANT TO GO SIT BACK AT HOME, ALONE?

- I KNOW, I DON'T WANT THE PRESSURE LIKE THAT.

IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

- JIMMY CRACK CORN, KIM.

- WHY DO YOU LIKE THAT SAYING?

- BECAUSE I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

[laughter]

- I LIKED MARTIN, AND I THINK HE LIKED ME.

BUT I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THE MAN SHOULD CALL THE WOMAN.

- UGH! NOTHING'S EVER EASY.

YOU-- THANK YOU. SORRY.

- EVERYBODY'S MAKING ME OUT TO BE THIS REALLY BAD PERSON.

- NO, NOT A BAD PERSON, JUST RUDE.

[laughs]

- COMING UP...

- I'M STILL HORRIFIED AT THE THINGS THAT KYLE SAID TO ME.

I THINK SHE WAS OUT OF CONTROL.

- MEN PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE EYE, AND IT'S OVER.

- IT'S EASIER. - BOOM!

- SEE, NOW, THAT LOOKS GREAT.

JUST LIKE THIS. PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING.

- YES, IT IS, MY DEAR.

- OKAY, NOW, SCOTT, I'M JUST GONNA NEED

A LITTLE ROOM ON THIS TABLE.

- HI.

- OH, HEY, GUYS.

- MAUREEN. HI.

- YOU LOOK GORGEOUS. YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

- DEIDRE. - THANK YOU.

- WHO BROUGHT CHAMPAGNE?

FARCHARD, OF COURSE. - FARCHARD!

- I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE A GREAT GROUP OF FRIENDS

IN MY LIFE.

THEY'RE SUCH A SOLID SUPPORT GROUP FOR ME.

SO I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A DILEMMA.

- WHAT'S YOUR DILEMMA?

- MY DILEMMA IS THE GIRLS. - OH, BOY.

- THE WHOLE KYLE-- - I KNOW, I KNOW.

I CAN'T HELP IT WITH BRINGING THE KYLE THING BACK UP.

I WOULD LIKE TO TRY TO REUNITE AND TRY THIS OVER AGAIN.

I MEAN, I'M STILL HORRIFIED AT THE THINGS

THAT KYLE SAID TO ME.

I THINK SHE WAS OUT OF CONTROL.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep] LIAR, CAMILLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED TO GET HELP.

- I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY

TO MAYBE...

- BUILD A BRIDGE. - BUILD A BRIDGE.

- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A DINNER PARTY, OR HAVE HER OVER?

I DON'T KNOW. TELL HER SOMETHING.

- THAT'S FUNNY.

[laughter] - WHAT?

- I LIKE TO FORGIVE AND FORGET AND MOVE ON.

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER HAD ANYBODY TREAT ME

AS POORLY AS KYLE HAS.

I JUST-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE YOU OVER, TO FIND OUT WHAT--

I NEED ADVICE. HELP.

- OH, BOY.

- I'D SAY NO.

- BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

- I'M SORRY, I JUST WOULDN'T ALLOW SOMEONE LIKE THAT

INTO MY LIFE...AGAIN.

ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH.

I JUST THINK THAT YOU'RE REALLY ASKING FOR IT.

- IF I HAVE A DINNER, WILL YOU BE THERE?

MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE SOME OF MY FRIENDS THERE TO...

- WHAT DO YOU THINK, MOM?

- TO COUNTERBALANCE THE ENERGY.

- I DON'T REALLY KNOW A LOT OF THE BACKGROUND OF IT.

YOU KNOW, CAMILLE'S A LOVELY PERSON.

I THINK SHE WOULD MOST LIKELY SAY, "IT'S FINE.

WE'LL TRY AGAIN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS."

- I JUST WANT TO KEEP THE PEACE BETWEEN ALL THE GIRLS,

THE REST OF THE GIRLS, AND I THINK BY DOING THIS,

THIS MIGHT BE--I'M TRYING TO OFFER THE OLIVE BRANCH.

I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE THE LADIES OVER

FOR DINNER AT MY HOUSE.

MAYBE I'M MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.

I DON'T KNOW. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

- MEN PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE EYE, AND IT'S OVER.

- IT'S EASIER. - BOOM!

- IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT ME?

I'M JUST SITTING NEXT TO NICK. THAT'S WHAT--

- THAT MUST BE IT. - HANDSOME NICK.

HANDSOME NICK'S DOING IT AGAIN. - HANDSOME NICK.

- I SAY THAT WE JUST START OFF,

WAVE GOOD-BYE TO EVERYBODY...

- AND THEN SOMEHOW GET TO THE END.

- AND THEN GET LOST IN THE SHUFFLE.

AND AT THE END, HAVE SOMEONE PICK US UP.

- AND WE'LL BE, LIKE, ALL SWEATY,

HAVE SOMEBODY POUR WATER ON YOU.

- WE'LL GO, YEAH, TO A WINERY,

HAVE SOME WINE TASTING-- THE WINE TASTING.

MEET AT THE END, AND JUST ACT LIKE WE DID IT.

- NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

- SO MAURICIO AND I ARE HEADING TO NAPA.

AND MY FRIEND CHRISTINE, WHO'S A NURSE,

OFFERED TO STAY WITH THE GIRLS.

I DON'T WANT TO COME BACK MONDAY.

- WE HAVE TO. - WHY?

- 'CAUSE THERE'S NO FLIGHTS OUT OF THERE LATE ENOUGH.

- THAT'S THREE NIGHTS. I MEAN--

JUST SO YOU KNOW, THAT AFFECTS MY DECISION WITH THE KIDS.

BECAUSE IF IT'S AN EXTRA NIGHT,

THAT'S-- I CANNOT DO THAT.

- I MEAN, WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

- YES, WE DO.

- HOW DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THERE?

- WHAT IF WE DROVE?

- OH... AFTER THE BIKE RIDE?

YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA BIKE AND THEN DRIVE?

- I'LL DRIVE. I DON'T CARE.

- THERE'S NO WAY, HONEY.

IT'S AN EIGHT-HOUR DRIVE. - HONEY, I CANNOT BE--

I CAN'T NOT BE HERE ON A MONDAY MORNING.

THE KIDS HAVE SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING,

AND PACKING THE SNACKS-- I MEAN, I CAN'T--

- THAT'S A MAJOR [indistinct] ISSUE GOING ON WITH YOU.

- IT IS. IT IS. THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

MAURICIO IS REALLY TRYING TO SQUEEZE THREE DAYS

OUT OF THIS TRIP. IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ME

TO LEAVE THE KIDS LIKE THAT-- I FEEL GUILTY.

- SO IF WE TOOK THE KIDS,

THEN YOU'D BE FINE WITH THREE DAYS,

AND HAVE THEM MISSING SCHOOL.

- YES. - [laughing]

- I WOULD RATHER BE WITH MY KIDS

THAN ANYBODY OR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

PORTIA, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO NAPA?

- NO?

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO NAPA.

SHE WANTS TO GO TO--

- OKAY, OKAY, SO FINE.

- IT'S GONNA BE SO NICE. IT'LL BE SO ROMANTIC.

- PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT YOUR HUSBAND FIRST

BECAUSE YOUR KIDS GROW UP AND THEY LEAVE.

BUT IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME.

CAN WE JUST SEE ABOUT COMING BACK SUNDAY NIGHT?

JUST DO THAT FOR ME. - I WILL--I'LL CHECK.

I'LL CHECK, BUT I'M TELLING YOU THERE'S NO FLIGHTS.

- WELL, WE CAN DRIVE TO SAN FRANCISCO,

AND WE CAN FLY OUT OF THERE.

I KNOW THERE'S FLIGHTS ALL DAY LONG.

- THIS IS VERY SIMPLE.

SO IF WE FEEL LIKE LEAVING ON SUNDAY,

WE LEAVE SUNDAY.

WE FEEL LIKE LEAVING MONDAY, WE LEAVE MONDAY.

- OKAY, I FEEL LIKE LEAVING SUNDAY.

[indistinct] - [laughing]

- SEE MY FIRE?

- UM, AMELIA AND I TRIED MAKING S'MORES LAST WEEK.

- I HEARD.

- WE COULD NOT START THE FIRE FOR THE LIFE OF US.

- WE HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY BARBECUES.

SOME NIGHTS IT'S JUST MY KIDS AND I,

AND OTHER NIGHTS, THEY'RE, LIKE,

"MOM, CAN I INVITE SO AND SO, CAN I INVITE SO AND SO?

AND CAN THEY INVITE A COUPLE OF THEIR FRIENDS?"

OH, JULIE, HI!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - HOW ARE YOU?

NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

- HI. - HI. MWAH.

- THE NIGHT BEFORE, I KNEW WE WERE GONNA HAVE A BARBECUE,

AND SO KIMBERLY AND I RAN TO THE MARKET.

AND THERE WAS A BUNCH OF GUYS,

AND THEY WERE BUYING THE CHICKEN,

AND I WAS, LIKE, "UH, EXCUSE ME, GUYS,

"UM, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE TAKING ALL THE CHICKEN

BECAUSE I'M TAKING THE CHICKEN."

SO AS I WALKED AWAY, ONE OF THEM,

HE WALKED UP, AND HE GOES, "HI, I'M SINGLE GARY."

AND I SAID, "WELL, HI. I'M SINGLE KIM."

- YOU SHOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU GIVE

RANDOM STRANGERS YOUR NUMBER.

- THE WHOLE THING WITH MARTIN WAS REALLY SWEET OF LISA.

BUT SHE'S GIVEN ME SO MUCH GRIEF OVER THIS.

I CAN FIND MY OWN DATES.

I DON'T NEED--I DON'T NEED EVERYBODY'S HELP.

[cell phone rings]

OH, MY GOD. IS THIS SINGLE GARY?

[laughs] SO THAT WAS REALLY FUN MEETING YOU AT THE MARKET.

SOMETIMES I'VE MET MEN IN THE MARKET.

IT HAPPENS. WHATEVER.

SO HOW WAS YOUR BARBECUE LAST NIGHT?

'CAUSE I-- I MEAN, WE WERE FIGHTING

OVER THE CHICKEN AND I DID GET MOST OF THE CHICKEN.

THAT'S MY CHICKEN. THAT'S MY CHICKEN.

YOU KNOW, GIVE ME THE CHICKEN.

OKAY. MAYBE DINNER ONE NIGHT WOULD BE NICE.

- KIMBERLY WAS THERE. SHE WAS EMBARRASSING ME.

WAIT. HOLD ON. SAY HI TO MY DAUGHTER.

- HELLO. WELL MY MOM HAS A 24-YEAR-OLD,

AND A 22-YEAR-OLD, AN 18-YEAR-OLD,

A 16-YEAR-OLD, A 14-YEAR-OLD,

A 12-YEAR-OLD, AND A 6-YEAR-OLD,

AND A 2-YEAR-OLD.

BIG FAMILY. MM. YOU'LL LOVE ALL OF US.

- KIMBERLY'S LIKE ME. SHE JUST DOES STUFF LIKE THAT.

SHE JUST THINKS IT'S FUNNY.

- COME ON OVER.

- COMING UP...

- LISTEN, I'VE GOT A VERY BIG TEST IN A MINUTE.

I HAVE TO STUDY.

- HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

- NOT AS MANY AS I'LL BE HOLDING UP IN A MINUTE.

- ROMANTIC. - SO ROMANTIC.

- EVEN THOUGH I'M NERVOUS TO LEAVE MY KIDS,

I'M EXCITED TO GET AWAY WITH MY HUSBAND.

AND NAPA'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

- WE HAVE A RESERVATION TONIGHT.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU READY?

- THANK YOU. - AWESOME. THANK YOU.

- FINALLY, MY HUSBAND AND I GOT TO BE ALONE.

WE DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE THERE SO FELT VERY ROMANTIC.

- VOILA. - THANK YOU.

- THE PIETRO GNOCCHI WITH SPRING VEGETABLES

MIGHT BE A GOOD WAY TO GO.

UH, WE'RE ALSO KIND OF KNOWN FOR THE GARGANELLI

WITH THE RABBIT SAUCE,

ONE OF CHEF CHIARELLO'S SIGNATURE ITEMS.

- OOH. THAT'S THE ONE I SAW THAT GUY EATING.

IT LOOKED AMAZING. - YES, SUPER YUMMY.

- AMAZING. - RABBIT SAUCE?

- PRETEND IT'S LAMB OR PRETEND IT'S VEAL.

- NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

- IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF MUSHROOM, LITTLE TOMATO.

- IT LOOKED AMAZING. - I'M NOT DOING THAT.

- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE.

- I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING WITH A RABBIT.

- FINE.

- I THINK A LOT OF TIMES HE CAVES IN

JUST BECAUSE HE'D RATHER HAVE THINGS, UH, SMOOTH.

AND HIS PHILOSOPHY IS "HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE."

- ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR BUBBLES.

I'LL CHECK BACK IN A COUPLE MINUTES.

AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS ON THE MENU.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - THANK YOU.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ACTUALLY, FINALLY AWAY--

JUST YOU AND ME.

[cell phone rings]

OH, IT'S THE KIDS. HOLD ON. HI, HONEY.

I'M NOT COMING TONIGHT. I'M COMING LATER.

IN A COUPLE DAYS. I'M WITH DADDY.

- BYE. - I LOVE YOU, BYE.

YEAH, HONEY, YOU GUYS ALL GOOD?

- I LOVE YOU, MOM. - I LOVE YOU, HONEY. BYE.

- SO GOOD. - BYE, HONEY.

- BYE, MOM.

- ARE WE GOING TO GO HOME SUNDAY NIGHT OR MONDAY?

- WE'LL DECIDE AT THE END.

NO DECISIONS TODAY.

- THAT GIVES ME A LOT OF STRESS.

- A LITTLE BIT OF ANXIETY.

- LIKE I SAID, WE'LL DECIDE WHERE WE, UH, ON THE LAST NIGHT.

- WELL, IS THERE NOT A FLIGHT AND YOU'RE TRICKING ME?

- THERE'S TONS OF FLIGHTS.

- SO WHY'D YOU TELL ME WE CAN'T LEAVE SUNDAY NIGHT?

- I DIDN'T WANT TO.

- YOU ARE A TRICKER.

- I NEGOTIATE FOR A LIVING.

SO CERTAINLY I THINK THAT WHEN I MAKE ARRANGEMENTS

WITH KYLE, PART OF MY NEGOTIATING SKILLS

JUST INNATELY TAKE AFFECT.

- YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING SO MUCH LATELY

ABOUT WE GO BACK AND FORTH ABOUT ANOTHER BABY.

I'M NOT PREGNANT.

DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT PREGNANT.

- BETTER NOT BE DROPPING ANY BOMBS ON ME RIGHT NOW.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT. I'M NOT PREGNANT.

BUT... - RIGHT.

- I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO BE.

- OH, MY GOD.

YOU DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH FOR US TO HANDLE?

- SOME MONTHS HE SAYS YES, HE WANTS A BABY.

SOME MONTHS HE SAYS NO.

HE SAYS IT ALL DEPENDS

ON WHAT MY AMERICAN EXPRESS BILL IS THAT MONTH.

IF IT'S HIGH, HE SAID "FORGET IT.

WE'RE DONE. FACTORY CLOSED."

- AS A MAN, I HAVE ALL OF THE SITUATIONS,

YOU KNOW, THAT I THINK ABOUT, WHICH IS, YOU KNOW,

ECONOMICS, YOU KNOW, RETIREMENT FUNDS,

CHILDREN'S FUNDS, COLLEGE FUNDS.

I MEAN, I DO WANT TO RETIRE ONE DAY.

I'VE ALREADY HIT MY LIMIT. FOUR KIDS SEEMS TO BE ENOUGH.

- WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW THAT IF I WANT TO,

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

NO, IF WE HAVE ANOTHER BABY NOW, I PROMISE IT'S THE LAST ONE.

NO, BECAUSE THEN PORTIA WILL HAVE A LITTLE PLAYMATE.

- NO, LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU SOMETHING.

I PROMISE IT'S THE LAST ONE, OKAY?

I CHOP OFF THE WEINER AFTER THIS THING.

IT'S DONE. [laughs]

[doorbell rings]

- FRONT DOOR. FRONT DOOR?

HE'S HERE.

- HI. - HEY THERE.

- OH, MY GOSH. - HOW ARE YOU?

- WOW, HI.

- WESTLAKE IS SMALL.

AND ANYBODY THAT LIVES IN THIS LITTLE AREA

IS PROBABLY NOT A SERIAL KILLER.

SO WE HOPE.

- SHOULD'VE MENTIONED EVERYONE WAS GOING TO BE HERE.

- I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS A FAMILY SITUATION.

HI. - THIS IS REILLY.

- NICE TO MEET YOU. - CAN YOU SAY "HI, KIM"?

- WE HAVE LOTS OF DOGS. - WE HAVE THREE DOGS.

- HE ENDED UP SHOWING UP WITH HIS GRANDDAUGHTER.

THIS IS PRESLEY.

THIS IS MY BABY.

HAVE YOU MET MY DAUGHTER PRESLEY?

- NO. - SHE'S MY DAUGHTER, PRESLEY.

[cell phone rings]

OH, IT'S OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, HER DAD CALLS ALL THE TIME.

I CAN'T EVEN STAND HIM. I HATE HIM.

- YOUR DAUGHTER IS HUNGRY. SHE WANTS YOU.

- OH, HANG ON.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO NURSE.

POOR GUY.

HERE HE THOUGHT HE MET A NICE, SINGLE MOM IN THE MARKET.

I TOLD HIM I HAD, LIKE, EIGHT KIDS,

AND THE YOUNGEST ONE'S EIGHT MONTHS,

AND I'M STILL NURSING.

- SHE NEEDS YOU TO FEED HER.

- CAN YOU FEED HER?

- MOM, I MISSED YOU.

- YOU DO?

[laughter]

- AND I GO OFF IN THE CORNER.

AND HE WAS, LIKE, [inhales] "WOW."

- WHAT?

- I THINK I-- THAT IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

- HEY, WE'RE GONNA GO GET SOME ICE CREAM.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO COME.

- ALL RIGHT. LET'S ALL GO.

- OKAY, GOOD.

- I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU.

- NEXT TIME.

- YOU'RE A LITTLE ANGEL. CAN I HAVE A HUG?

A REAL HUG? AW.

- SHE NEVER DOES THIS. - REALLY?

GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

- SINGLE GARY. - DID WE LIKE HIM? ALL?

- I LIKED HIM. I LOVED HIS GRANDDAUGHTER.

- THEN WHY-- - I DON'T THINK FOR YOUR MOM.

- WHY? EXPLAIN. I WANT TO HEAR.

- YOU SAY NO? - I DON'T KNOW.

- SHE'S JUST A MATCHMAKER. - I JUST HOOK YOU GUYS UP.

- I LIKE HIM. - I LIKE HIM TOO.

- I LOVE THAT HE LOVES HIS GRANDDAUGHTER.

- I LOVE THAT HE WAS TOTALLY COOL COMING IN HERE.

- I LOVE--I LOVE HIM. NO, I'M JUST JOKING.

I LOVE HIM. - ALL RIGHT.

- CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TAKING ME TO DO THE TEST NOW.

WHEN DID I HAVE TIME TO PREPARE FOR THIS TEST?

- OH, EXCUSE ME,

WE READ THE BOOK TOGETHER.

SO WE SHOWED UP WHERE THE DMV WAS.

IT WAS IN SOME GODFORSAKEN PLACE.

I DON'T KNOW. I WAS KIND OF FEARING FOR MY LIFE.

I THOUGHT "OKAY, WE NEED TO GET THIS OVER AND DONE WITH ASAP."

IT'S A BIT OF A CULTURE SHOCK.

I MEAN, WHEN YOU LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS,

YOU TEND TO KIND OF ISOLATE YOURSELF

FROM THE REST OF LOS ANGELES.

IT WAS PRETTY KIND OF, UH, ECLECTIC, SHALL WE SAY.

- HI.

YOU SAW ME LAST NIGHT? - YEAH.

YOU WERE, UH, TALKING ABOUT...

- SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US, LISA?

- COME ON. YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, UH...

- REALLY. HONESTLY.

NO, I PROMISE YOU YOU'VE MISTAKEN ME FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

I SAT DOWN IN THE WAITING ROOM

AND THERE WAS THIS-- SOME WEIRDO GUY

SITTING IN FRONT OF ME.

LISTEN, I'VE GOT A VERY BIG TEST IN A MINUTE.

I HAVE TO STUDY. HAVE TO. OKAY.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE TESTED ON WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- NO. BUT I'M NOT GONNA PASS UNLESS I READ THIS BLOODY BOOK.

- HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

- NOT AS MANY AS I'LL BE HOLDING UP IN A MINUTE.

I WAS JUST, LIKE, "GET ME OUT OF HERE

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE."

- OH, THAT'S US. OH OH. - OH, OKAY.

- MANDARIN.

NO, NO, ENGLISH.

[laughter]

- ALL RIGHT.

PENS ARE ON THE COUNTER. - THIS IS MY TEST?

- THAT IS YOUR TEST. - GOD, I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.

- THE QUESTIONS ARE BLOODY DIFFICULT,

I HAVE TO BE HONEST.

[laughs] WISH ME LUCK.

- GOOD LUCK.

- IT'S LIKE, THEY GIVE YOU 40 QUESTIONS,

AND I THINK YOU'RE ALLOWED TO GET SIX WRONG.

- ALL RIGHT. - I'M IN? I'M IN?

YES!

HEY, ARRIVEDERCI, CEDRIC.

[giggles]

POOR CEDRIC, I THINK HE NEEDS TO GET A CHAUFFEUR.

I DON'T KNOW. HE DIDN'T LOOK AT THE BOOK.

HE DIDN'T STUDY. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

STOP.

- SO I FAILED AGAIN?

OH, GOD.

- YOU DID? OH, NO.

IT COULD BE WORSE.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME THAT FAILED. YES!

MAYBE HE FAILED THE TEST ON PURPOSE.

TO DELAY THE MOVING OUT PROCESS.

I GUESS I'M DRIVING HOME, RIGHT?

- YEAH.

- SO WE'VE BEEN WORKING LIKE DOGS

ON THESE GIFT BAGS ALREADY.

- OH, MY GOODNESS. LOOK AT ALL THESE.

- THERE'S MORE IN THE OTHER OFFICE.

WE HAVE ABOUT 200 DONE,

AND THEN WE'LL BE MAKING 44 MORE FOR THE CELEBRITIES.

- OKAY. DO YOU NEED HELP?

THE 1736 FAMILY CRISIS CENTER POKER TOURNAMENT IS TOMORROW.

- SO I'LL TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW THE DAY WILL GO THEN.

- OKAY. - AND THEN AFTER YOU WIN

THE TOURNAMENT AND-- - YES.

- NOW, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE ABOUT 44 CELEBRITIES COMING,

AND WE HAVE A RED CARPET STARTING AT 2:00.

- OH, AT 2:00.

- SO I REALLY WAS HOPING THAT YOU WOULD WALK THE RED CARPET

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN SUCH A LONG-TIME VOLUNTEER OF OURS.

- OKAY. - THEN WHAT I WAS GOING

TO ASK YOU TO DO, TAYLOR, AND YOU CAN SAY YES OR NO,

I REALLY WANT SOMEONE LIKE YOU TO SAY A FEW WORDS.

- I HAD A DIFFICULT EARLY CHILDHOOD.

MY PARENTS DIVORCED WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG,

AND IT WAS HARD ON MY MOM AND I.

YOU KNOW, THERE WERE THINGS THAT HAPPENED

THAT I DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT.

AND...

JUST SOME TOUGH MEMORIES.

- YOU KNOW THIS ORGANIZATION.

YOU'VE BEEN WITH US A LONG TIME.

YOU HAVE A DEEP PASSION FOR IT.

AND I REALLY WANT THAT TO BE STATED.

- MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORY LITERALLY

IN BLUE-FOOTED ZIP-UP PAJAMAS

WAS SOMEONE WAGING AN ATTACK ON MY MOTHER.

AND THAT IS WHY I CONNECT SO HEAVILY

WITH THE WORK BEING DONE AT THE CRISIS CENTER

AND ESPECIALLY WITH THE CHILDREN THERE.

- I KNOW I KEEP SAYING YOU'VE GOT PASSION FOR IT,

BUT YOU REALLY DO.

YOU GO IN THERE, YOU KNOW,

YOU RELATE TO THESE-- THESE WOMEN AND CHILDREN,

AND I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT, WHEN YOU LEAVE, THEY CRY.

AND THEY CRY BECAUSE...

- NOW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY.

- YOU COME IN THERE, AND YOU GIVE YOUR HEART TO THEM.

AND YOU COME IN AND SHOW IT.

- I REMEMBER FEELING ASHAMED

ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE THAT I HAD HAD,

AND I WAS SO YOUNG.

WHEN I MEET CHILDREN THAT ARE EXPERIENCING THAT,

I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN THEM TO REALIZE

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM

AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE PERSON

WHO WAS THE ABUSER.

I GUESS I'M GONNA GO BACK TO MY OFFICE,

GET SOME WORK DONE, AND FINALIZE MY SPEECH.

- OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, TAYLOR.

- OH, HONEY, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE WHAT YOU DO.

- COMING UP... - YOU KNOW,

IT'S REALLY UNFORTUNATE.

WE COULD HAVE HAD A MUCH LARGER TURNOUT

IF WE PICKED A DIFFERENT WEEKEND.

- LET'S HEAD OVER TO THE WOMEN'S SECTION.

- AWESOME. I'LL GO BROWSE.

- HONEY? - YEAH.

- MAKE SURE YOU FIND A GOOD PAD.

- YEAH, I NEED A HEAVY PAD

FOR MY BUTT.

- YEAH.

HONEY, I WANT TO SEE YOUR OUTFIT.

HOW LONG DID YOU LAST ON THE BIKE IN VEGAS?

TELL THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH.

- 10 MINUTES MAYBE. 15 MINUTES?

- FOUR.

MY HUSBAND IS A MAJOR ATHLETE.

HE'S GOOD AT EVERY SPORT HE DOES.

SO I THINK HE WOULD REALLY BE TORTURED

IF I FINISHED THE RACE AND HE COULDN'T.

- BUT THEN AGAIN,

I WAS COMING DOWN WITH A COLD, SO I WAS LIKE--

- NO, FOUR MINUTES IS PRETTY GOOD.

- [laughs] - I WAS NOT FOUR MINUTES.

- SO LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

- WHY DO I HAVE A PIT IN MY STOMACH?

- 'CAUSE YOU'RE NERVOUS. YOU'RE DOING YOUR FIRST RIDE.

- ALL OF A SUDDEN, I LOOK BACK,

AND I SEE THIS SEA OF PEOPLE ON THEIR BICYCLE.

AND THEY LOOK LIKE PROFESSIONALS TO ME.

AND IT'S FEELING VERY INTIMIDATING.

- THREE...

- TWO... both: ONE!

- GO!

[cheers and applause]

- OH, MY GOD.

I'M GOING TO BE RUN OVER AND SMASHED TO THE GROUND.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE PEOPLE FLYING BY ME,

WHIZZING BY ME.

I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK.

- PERFECT. - THEY'RE COMING SO FAST

AND CUTTING AT AN ANGLE. - YEAH.

BUT JUST PICK UP THE PACE A LITTLE BIT.

THAT WAY, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MANY PEOPLE SWARMING AROUND YOU.

- OKAY.

OH.

AFTER LOSING SO MANY FAMILY MEMBERS TO CANCER--

I LOST MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, AN UNCLE--

THIS CHARITY'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

- HERE WE GO.

YEAH.

OKAY. - [pants]

[both sigh]

- MY MOM GIVES ME A LOT MORE MOTIVATION

TO GET OUT THERE BECAUSE THAT'S A LONG BIKE RIDE.

SO IF I DIDN'T HAVE THAT IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD,

I DON'T THINK I COULD DO THE 69 MILES.

- GOOD-BYE, 30. YOO-HOO!

- OH, [bleep].

I DON'T SEE ANY FLAT GROUND IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

OH, GOD, I NEED THIS TO BE OVER.

both: HEY!

- HI.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU. THANKS FOR COMING TODAY.

- READY TO GO? - YES, I'M READY TO GO

DO OUR WEEKLY RUN.

YAY. - THIS WILL BE GOOD.

- COME ON. LET'S GET PSYCHED UP.

A GOOD RUN.

[laughter]

YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT ON THE BEACH FOR A LONG TIME?

YEAH, NEITHER HAVE I.

- OKAY, LET'S MOVE PAST THAT ONE

AND LET'S JUST GET GOING.

- AFTER YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE,

YOU DON'T DO IT ANYWHERE. SORRY.

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ME,

ESPECIALLY IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS,

TO REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT WOMEN HAVE BEEN IN MY LIFE.

SO PSYCHED. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT FUN.

- PERFECT DAY. - IT IS A PERFECT DAY.

THERE WE GO.

OH, MY GOD, THE OCEAN.

- I KNOW. MAYBE WE'LL SEE SOME DOLPHINS TODAY.

NOW KELSEY'S DOING THE SHOW THROUGH FEBRUARY, RIGHT?

- YEAH. - YOU'RE NOT GONNA SPEND

THE WHOLE TIME IN NEW YORK, RIGHT?

- WHEN KELSEY FIRST LEFT TO DO THE PLAY IN NEW YORK,

THE PLAN WAS THAT THE KIDS AND I

WERE GOING TO MOVE THERE IN THE SUMMERTIME,

AND THEN I GOT A PHONE CALL

SAYING THAT PLANS HAVE BEEN CHANGED.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA STAY FULL-TIME

IN SEPTEMBER.

KELSEY AND I ARE GONNA DISCUSS THAT.

KELSEY HAD CALLED ME AND SAID HE MIGHT WANT TO LIVE

IN NEW YORK FULL-TIME.

- WOW, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

MY HUSBAND FEELS THAT HIS CAREER IN L.A. IS OVER

AND THAT NEW YORK LOVES HIM AND HE'S--

HE TOLD ME HE FEELS APPRECIATED THERE.

I LOVE RUNNING ON THE BEACH SO I'M LOOKING AT THE OCEAN.

- YUP. THAT'S HOW FORTUNATE WE ARE.

- I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MOVING BACK TO NEW YORK FULL-TIME.

THE WINTERS ARE TOUGH. I LIVED THERE.

I'M NOT READY TO GO BACK.

- SEE, YOU NEED TO COME OUT MORE OFTEN AND RUN THE BEACH.

SEE HOW GREAT IT IS?

- WHEN I GO TO NEW YORK FOR THE TONYS, KELSEY AND I

REALLY ARE GONNA HAVE TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART

ABOUT THIS NEW CHANGE OF PLANS.

- THE WIND IS, LIKE, [indistinct].

- YES. FEELS GOOD.

- [breathing heavily]

- IT WAS PROBABLY 40 MILES INTO THE RACE,

AND WE WERE CLIMBING THIS HILL.

THIS THING WAS FIVE MILES LONG OR SIX MILES LONG,

AND IT WAS A STRAIGHT UP, REALLY INCLINED HILL.

- I DO NOT SEE ANY FLAT AREA.

- THEY CALLED IT, UM, THE CLIMB OF DEATH,

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

- AT THIS POINT, I'M EXHAUSTED.

THERE'S JUST NO WAY I CAN DO THIS.

UGH.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, GOD, I NEED THIS TO BE OVER.

OH, MY GOD.

AND I REALLY FELT LIKE MAYBE MY MOM AND MY DAD,

THEIR HANDS WERE ON MY BACK AT THAT POINT.

OH.

- YOU MADE IT.

YOU MADE IT. SEE?

- OH, MY GOD.

THAT DEFINITELY WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE RIDE FOR ME.

WHEN I FINALLY MADE IT TO THE TOP,

IT WAS, LIKE, ELATION.

- NOBODY BEHIND US.

IT WAS A GREAT BONDING MOMENT.

I LOVED IT.

THE EXPERIENCE OF DOING THAT WITH MY WIFE

WAS JUST SO GREAT.

AND, FOR ME, YOU KNOW, BEING AN ATHLETE,

TO HAVE A ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE TOGETHER WITH AN ATHLETIC EVENT

WAS JUST ONE OF THE BEST TRIPS OF MY LIFE.

- RIDERS CONTINUE TO FINISH

IN THE 2010 ECHELON GRAN FONDO.

- NICE JOB.

- I COULD NOT WAIT TO GET OFF THAT BIKE.

- FIVE HOURS AND 15 MINUTES.

- 69 MILES.

- HUG.

- OH, MY GOD.

I FEEL EXHAUSTED, BUT I FEEL GREAT.

I FEEL GREAT.

MY LEGS FELT LIKE JELL-O.

I WAS READY AT THAT POINT TO JUST CALL A TAXI.

- [exhales] - UGH.

- THIS IS ONE OF THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE.

- OH, MY GOD.

WHEN WE GOT BACK TO OUR HOTEL ROOM,

I REALLY THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOD,

I'VE DONE SOME MAJOR DAMAGE TO MY BODY."

- NO-- [laughs]

- I COULDN'T MOVE. I COULDN'T WALK.

IT WAS BAD.

I CAN'T EVEN TAKE MY HELMET OFF.

[laughter]

OH, MY GOD.

I COULD NO WAY HAVE GOTTEN ON A PLANE.

EVEN THOUGH WE WERE BOTH EXHAUSTED,

IT WAS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND.

IT WAS A ROMANTIC WEEKEND.

WE HAD TIME TO BE ALONE.

SO HE WAS RIGHT.

- I CAN'T GET UP.

HONEY, TAKE ME.

- I'LL GIVE YOU SOME POWER.

MWAH. - THANK YOU.

- RUSSELL.

ARE YOU READY?

WE'RE GONNA BE LATE. CAN WE GO?

LEAVING FOR THE CRISIS CENTER EVENT,

YOU KNOW, I WAS FEELING A LOT OF EMOTIONS

ABOUT MY IMPENDING SPEECH.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY UNFORTUNATE

THAT YOU PICKED THIS WEEKEND.

UH, PROBABLY HALF THE PEOPLE I INVITED

ARE TRAVELING THIS WEEKEND.

SO WE COULD HAVE HAD A MUCH LARGER TURNOUT,

PICKED A DIFFERENT WEEKEND.

- WELL...

I'M REALLY EXCITED TO HAVE SOME ACTION,

SOME POKER, AND SOME FUN

IN SUPPORT OF AN AMAZING CAUSE.

- TAYLOR, TAYLOR, TAYLOR.

- HEY, ANNIE.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- OH, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- OH, MY GOD. TAYLOR, HELLO.

- IT IS PAR FOR DOING EVENTS IN L.A.

YOU RUN INTO ALL KINDS OF... FAMOUS PEOPLE?

- SERIOUSLY. RIGHT THERE. ONE MORE TIME.

HEY, THAT'S MY WALLET.

- OH, HI.

- HONEY, I AM SO-- SO SORRY WE'RE LATE.

- ADRIENNE AND I ARE CLOSE ENOUGH

THAT I WAS COMFORTABLE HAVING HER THERE

TO, UH, SHARE MY STORY WITH,

BUT THE OTHER GIRLS, IT WAS MUCH MORE OF A SERIOUS OCCASION

THAN JUST A SOCIAL EVENT,

SO I THOUGHT IT WAS BEST JUST TO HAVE ADRIENNE ALONE.

- LET'S SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL.

- I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING... NOT!

- YEAH, SO HERE...

- I'VE LITERALLY PLAYED POKER

MAYBE TWO OR THREE TIMES IN MY LIFE,

BECAUSE I CAN'T GAMBLE IN OUR OWN CASINO.

- OH, YOU WON AGAIN?

- MAYBE WE CAN FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF FAVOR YOU WORKED.

- REMEMBER I TOLD YOU HOW LUCKY I AM ALL THE TIME?

I SWEAR, THIS MUST BE TEN HANDS IN A ROW.

- YOU--YOU MIGHT WIN THIS WHOLE THING.

OH, MY GOODNESS. ADRIENNE.

- I WAS VERY LUCKY.

- PRIOR TO GIVING MY SPEECH,

I FELT INCREDIBLY NERVOUS.

I'M GONNA GO TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

- YOU'RE GONNA GIVE YOUR LITTLE SPEECH RIGHT NOW?

- GIVE MY LITTLE SPEECH, TAKE A DEEP BREATH,

AND I'LL SEE YOU GUYS IN A LITTLE WHILE.

THANK YOU AGAIN, ANNIE.

I WAS SO NERVOUS

I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS GONNA BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.

- COMING UP...

- WHAT MANY OF YOU MAY NOT KNOW...

SORRY. [clears throat]

- YOU KNOW, IT'S A STORY THAT I TYPICALLY ONLY SHARE

WITH PEOPLE AT THE CRISIS CENTER

WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES.

I FELT INCREDIBLY NERVOUS.

I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS GONNA BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.

WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

THE 1736 FAMILY CRISIS CENTER

IS AN ORGANIZATION THAT IS INCREDIBLY DEAR TO MY HEART

FOR MANY REASONS.

WHAT MANY OF YOU MAY NOT KNOW

IS THAT I'M A CHILD OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

SORRY. [clears throat]

ONE OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES WAS ABUSE.

AND SO IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THAT YOU'RE HERE TODAY

TO STAND UP FOR THE PEOPLE

THAT CAN'T STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES,

AND TO SUPPORT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN

WHO SO DESPERATELY NEED THE MONEY THAT YOU'RE DONATING

TO MAKE A FRESH START,

AND TO BUILD A LIFE LIKE I HAVE BUILT FOR MYSELF.

[cheers and applause]

- WHEN I FIRST HEARD THAT TAYLOR

HAD HAD SOME ABUSE IN HER CHILDHOOD,

THAT ACTUALLY CAME TO ME AS A COMPLETE SURPRISE.

MAYBE SHE FELT, UH, A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY IT.

AS A FRIEND, I HOPE I CAN BE THERE FOR HER.

- THE MONEY THAT YOU ARE RAISING TODAY

FOR THIS AMAZING ORGANIZATION,

IT GIVES THEM A NEW LIFE.

AND TO MOVE FORWARD AND TO FULFILL THE DREAMS

THAT ARE INSIDE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US.

I WANT EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE

TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE THE SAME AS ME.

YOU KNOW,

IT'S JUST YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES THAT ARE DIFFERENT.

AND SO BY BEING THERE AND TELLING MY STORY,

I HOPE THAT IT GIVES HOPE

THAT THEY CAN PUT THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES IN THEIR PAST

AND HAVE WHATEVER LIFE THEY CAN DREAM FOR THEMSELVES.

I MEAN, THEY CAN LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS JUST LIKE I DO.

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- SO SATURDAY NIGHT I'M HAVING A DINNER AT MY HOUSE.

- I THOUGHT, "HERE WE GO."

- YOU'RE ENTIRELY WASHED UP.

- I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

I'M TALKING TO CAMILLE.

- YOU DID CALL ME A DELUSIONAL BITCH.

- THIS IS ALL BULL[bleep] TO ME.

- ENOUGH. ENOUGH. ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.

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