Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY, ON THE WEST WING:

Josh: WHERE THE HELL'D YOU GET THAT?

IT SAYS LEO McGARRY SPENT 28 DAYS

IN AN ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE FACIL...

THIS IS A PIECE OF PAPER OBTAINED ILLEGALLY.

RECORDS KEPT BY THESE FACILITES

ARE CONFIDENTIAL, JOSH.

HE'S GOT HIM.

I THOUGHT WHAT I'D DO IS KISS YOU

ON THE MOUTH, AND THEN I'D BE ABLE

TO GIVE MY WORK THE KIND OF CONCENTRATION

IT REALLY DESERVES.

I VOLUNTARILY ADMITTED MYSELF TO THE SIERRA TUCSON

REHABILITATION FACILITY

TO TREAT AN ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND VALIUM.

C.J.: WEATHER PERMITTING, WE'LL BE IN THE ROSE GARDEN.

Woman: AND "WEATHER PERMITTING" MEANS...?

IF IT'S NOT RAINING.

C.J.... I KNOW.

IT'S GOING TO BE 22 DEGREES.

I KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHY...

THIS PRESIDENT IS FROM NEW ENGLAND.

IT'S TIME WE ALL STARTED GETTING USED TO THAT.

AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME THIS MORNING.

WHAT ELSE DO WE HAVE HERE?

THERE WILL BE 15 PEN RECIPIENTS.

THE PRESIDENT WILL SIGN THE BILL WITH 15 PENS.

SOMEONE ON MY STAFF WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT.

Danny: C.J.?

TELL ME YOU DON'T HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE PENS.

I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE PENS.

YES, DANNY?

"JOSIAH BARTLETT" HAS 13 LETTERS.

HOW'S THE PRESIDENT GOING TO USE 15 PENS?

DANNY...? I JUST...

YOU KNOW YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM

DOING THE MATH ON THAT, RIGHT?

ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM.

MY READERS EXPECT A LITTLE BIT MORE.

( exasperated sigh )

15 PENS, 13 LETTERS.

THEY MUST HAVE STUCK SOMETHING IN HERE ABOUT...

YES!

HE'S GOING TO... INTERESTING.

HE'S GOING TO LITERALLY DOT THE "I" AND CROSS THE Ts.

THANK YOU.

FREAK BOY.

THANK YOU AGAIN.

JONATHAN AND JENNIFER LYDELL--

THE PARENTS OF LOWELL LYDELL--

HAVE BEEN ADDED TO THE GUEST LIST.

ALSO ADDED TO THE GUEST LIST ARE SENATORS...

C.J.? THAT STILL ON?

WHAT STILL ON? THE LYDELLS.

YEAH.

THERE'S A RUMOR

THAT THE LYDELLS AREN'T BIG SUPPORTERS OF THE PRESIDENT...

IT'S RIDICULOUS-- THE PRESIDENT SIGNING HATE CRIMES LEGISLATION.

JONATHAN AND JENNIFER LYDELL'S SON WAS KILLED FOR BEING GAY.

I HEARD THE SAME THING.

THE LYDELLS ARE COMING.

AND THEY'LL BE AVAILABLE TO THE PRESS?

YEAH. WHERE WAS I?

Woman: "SENATORS."

BREECH AND LARKIN.

SENATORS BREACH AND LARKIN WILL BE ATTENDING AS WELL.

LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE.

DON'T FORGET TO TIP YOUR WAITRESSES.

THAT'S ALL THE NEWS TODAY.

YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.

I KIND OF WISH YOU HADN'T DONE THAT.

DONE WHAT?

GUARANTEED THE LYDELLS.

THEY'RE NOT COMING?

THEY ARE COMING.

I'M JUST NOT SURE WE'RE GOING TO WANT THEM THERE.

I FLEW OUT TO ST. PAUL.

I SPOKE TO THE MOTHER ON THE PHONE. TWICE.

THE MOTHER IS FINE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE FATHER?

HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH.

THAT'S IT?

SOMETIMES THAT'S AN INDICATION...

THEIR SON WAS JUST MURDERED.

DID YOU WANT HIM TO WEAR A CAMPAIGN BUTTON?

I DO AT THE BILL SIGNING

AND THE RETICENCE HE EXHIBITED IN HIS KITCHEN...

ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF?

THEY'RE FLYING IN IN THE MORNING.

MEET WITH THEM, AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

YOU WANT ME TO AUDITION THE LYDELLS?

YES, AND I'D ALSO LIKE YOU TO CUT ME

SOME SLACK.

FINE.

CAROL? DOTTING THE Is, CROSSING THE Ts...

THANK YOU FOR THAT.

WE DO OUR HOMEWORK.

YOU MISSPELLED "SENATOR."

HELLO.

WE'VE GOT A BIT OF A STICKY WICKET.

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I'M STAYING HERE

AND WORKING LATE TONIGHT.

I NEED YOU TO READ A REPORT.

I'M A WOMAN IN HER PRIME, JOSH.

I'M A PRIME WOMAN.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, BUT I NEED YOU TO READ THIS ANYWAY.

WE WANT CONGRESS TO SIGN OFF ON FUNDS FOR 100,000 NEW TEACHERS.

THEY SAY FINE, BUT YOU GOT TO STIPULATE

THAT IN SEX ED CLASSES...

ABSTINENCE ONLY? YES.

I WOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE

PASSING SUCH A CLASS.

WE COMMISSIONED A REPORT ABOUT A YEAR AGO

ON SEX EDUCATION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

AND, WELL, THIS IS IT.

WHAT'S IT SAY?

IT'S NOT GOOD.

HOW'S IT NOT GOOD? IT SAYS, BASICALLY

THAT TEACHING ABSTINENCE ONLY DOESN'T WORK

THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE PRONE TO HAVE SEX

WHETHER THEY'RE CAUTIONED AGAINST IT OR NOT.

WHAT ARE THEY RECOMMENDING?

SOMETHING CALLED

ABSTINENCE PLUS.

"ABSTINENCE PLUS"? YES.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

WELL, SAM'S RENAMED IT "EVERYTHING BUT."

"EVERYTHING BUT"?

YES.

AH.

YES.

THEY WANT TEACHERS TO TEACH...? YES.

AND SO THE STICKY WICKET JOKE WAS...?

A REGRETTABLE PUN.

SHOULD I ORDER YOU SOME FOOD?

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T REMEMBER

THE LAST TIME I GOT HOME

BEFORE MIDNIGHT.

BY THE WAY, PAGES 27 TO 33.

A COUPLE OF THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW.

GET ME A SALAD.

C.J.: HEY.

Danny: WANT TO HAVE DINNER?

WITH YOU? YES.

I HAVE TO READ A REPORT ON SEX EDUCATION.

HEY. I'M ANTICIPATING ANY JOKE

YOU COULD POSSIBLY MAKE RIGHT NOW

AND I'M NOT FINDING ANY OF THEM FUNNY.

EVENTUALLY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME.

YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP GRABBING ME AND KISSING ME.

I DIDN'T... WELL, YOU CAN.

I'M NOT GOING TO MIND OR ANYTHING.

I DIDN'T GRAB YOU. YOU GRABBED ME.

FIRST TIME. SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH TIMES, YOU GRABBED ME.

ALL WEEK LONG, RANDOMLY GRABBING ME AND KISSING ME.

LIKE I SAID, I APPLAUD THE SPIRIT

BUT THERE'S BETTER THINGS AHEAD

AS I'M SURE YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT AN ADVANCE MAN FOR THE VICE PRESIDENT

WHO TOOK A NAVY HELICOPTER TO PEBBLE BEACH

TO SHOOT 18 HOLES.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NO. HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE.

WHAT KIND OF SOURCE?

THE ANONYMOUS KIND.

I'LL FIND OUT ABOUT IT.

DO IT PROMPTLY, WOULD YOU.

I GOT A HELICOPTER PILOT WHO SAT AROUND FOR FOUR HOURS

ON THE TAXPAYER'S TIME

WHILE YOUR ADVANCE MAN

HIT EVERY SAND TRAP IN CARMEL.

OKAY.

SEE YOU. WAIT.

OKAY, YOU CAN GO NOW.

NO PROBLEM.

JOSH!

DID THEY BURN THE HAMBURGER?

I TOLD THEM WELL-DONE.

HE LIKES IT BEYOND WELL-DONE.

HE LIKES IT BURNT.

YEAH...

FOOD'S HERE.

DID THEY BURN THE HAMBURGER?

YES.

DID YOU CHECK? I'M NOT CHECKING YOUR FOOD.

LET'S GO.

NO, NO, I'LL CARRY IT.

I LIKE IT WHERE IF YOU DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR

IT WOULD BREAK.

WHAT'S "TAKE OUT THE TRASH DAY"?

FRIDAY. I MEAN WHAT IS IT?

ANY STORIES WE HAVE TO GIVE THE PRESS

THAT WE'RE NOT WILD ABOUT

WE GIVE THEM ALL IN A LUMP ON FRIDAY.

WHY DO YOU DO IT IN A LUMP?

INSTEAD OF ONE AT A TIME?

I'D THINK YOU'D WANT TO SPREAD THEM OUT.

THEY'VE GOT "X" COLUMN INCHES TO FILL. YES.

THEY'RE GOING TO FILL THEM NO MATTER WHAT.

YES. SO IF WE GIVE THEM ONE STORY

THAT STORY'S "X" COLUMN INCHES.

YOU GIVE THEM FIVE STORIES...

IT'S A FIFTH THE SIZE.

WHY DO YOU DO IT ON FRIDAY?

NO ONE READS THE PAPER ON SATURDAY.

YOU GUYS ARE REAL POPULISTS.

SALAD'S FOR C.J. MM-HMM.

YEAH?

THERE IS A TOWN IN ALABAMA THAT WANTS TO ABOLISH ALL LAWS

EXCEPT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

I SAW IT.

WELL, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM.

BECAUSE THE CONSTITUTION

PROHIBITS RELIGIOUS ACTIVITY IN ANY FORM

CONNECTED TO GOVERNMENT.

GOOD POINT. TWO PROBLEMS.

SAM, I'M BUSY HERE. I JUST MEAN

SOME OF THOSE COMMANDMENTS ARE PRETTY

HARD TO ENFORCE. WHAT IS IT?

I JUST GOT A CALL

ASKING ME IF I WANTED TO COMMENT

ON A STORY THAT'S GOING TO RUN IN THE GEORGETOWN HOYATOMORROW.

THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER?

A SOCIOLOGY PROFESSOR'S BEEN TEACHING

WHAT THE PAPER, AT ANY RATE, FEELS IS RACIST STUFF.

YOU KNOW, TOO MUCH FUNDING FOR HEAD START, WELFARE MOTHERS...

AND WHY ARE THEY TALKING TO US?

ZOEY'S IN THE CLASS.

WHO CARES?

THIS MINUTE, THE GEORGETOWN HOYA

TOMORROW...

THE PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER'S GOT AN IDIOT SOCIOLOGY PROFESSOR

AND WE GOT TO...

I'LL TALK TO ZOEY.

PLEASE.

WHAT ELSE?

COVETING THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE, FOR EXAMPLE.

HOW YOU GOING TO ENFORCE THAT ONE?

SAM...

WE NEVER HAVE OUR CHATS ANYMORE, TOBY.

WHAT CHATS?

OUR LATE NIGHT CHATS.

DID WE EVER DO THAT?

NO.

FELLAS. HEY.

MY OFFICE.

LEO, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S

A TOWN IN ALABAMA THAT WANTS...?

YES. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

COVETING THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

IS GOING TO CAUSE SOME PROBLEMS.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID. PLUS, IF I WERE ARRESTED

FOR COVETING MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

WHEN ASKED ABOUT IT, I'D PROBABLY BEAR FALSE WITNESS.

HI.

JOSH, THIS SEX ED REPORT

COULD NOT POSSIBLY COME AT A WORSE TIME.

I KNOW. 100,000 SCHOOL TEACHERS...

I KNOW. HE'S GOING TO SIGN THE HATE CRIMES BILL.

HE DIDN'T WRITE THE THING, LEO.

I'M SAYING I WISH WE'D GOTTEN SOME HEADS UP IT WAS COMING.

WELL, THAT HORSE LEFT THE BARN.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT TOMORROW.

WHAT ELSE? WHAT'S THIS THING ON THE HILL?

SAM AND ME, WE'RE MEETING WITH... BRUNO

FROM AN APPROPRIATIONS SUBCOMMITTEE

THAT HAS JURISDICTION

OVER THE WHITE HOUSE BUDGET.

IS THIS ABOUT ME?

TECHNICALLY, IT'S ABOUT ME.

THEY WANT TO KNOW WHY I WITHHELD INFORMATION

GAINED DURING INSPECTOR JAVERT'S

DRUG SEARCH. UM...

IT'S A... CAN I SAY

SOMETHING ABOUT THAT? NO.

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT THING TO DO...

I UNDERSTAND.

YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM?

YEAH.

OKAY.

I'M SORRY TO MAKE YOU GUYS...

LEO. PLEASE.

OKAY.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE.

SHE JUST SAID... GUYS...

SHE JUST SAID SHE KNEW THAT FOR SURE.

SHE SAID SHE KNEW IT IN HER HEART

WHICH IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN SOMEBODY SAYING...

I KNOW IT FOR SURE.

SHE JUST SAID IT.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL THEIR BOSS.

Mrs. Landingham: EXCUSE ME.

GOOD EVENING, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS DOING?

WE'RE JUST TALKING, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

YOU ALL WORK FOR VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE.

THIS IS NOT A PLACE FOR GOSSIP.

YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

YES, MA'AM.

DONNA.

SHE SAID SHE KNEW IT IN HER HEART.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I'VE BEEN WRONG ABOUT IN MY HEART?

YEAH, BUT SHE'S RIGHT ABOUT THIS ONE.

AREN'T YOU?

HERE'S A GROUP OF FEDERAL EMPLOYEES.

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

SURE.

IN SAM'S OFFICE.

WE'LL NEED TO ASK SAM, DON'T YOU THINK?

I NEED SAM, TOO.

Josh: SAM.

YES, SIR.

DONNA NEEDS TO TALK TO US

AND IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

THIS VICE PRESIDENT'S ADVANCE MAN

WITH THE GOLF CLUBS AND THE HELICOPTER.

CHAD MARGRUDIAN. YEAH.

DIDN'T HE USED TO WORK FOR US?

KEPT SCREWING UP.

HOW? HE ADVANCED

THE PUERTO RICO TRIP AND SPENT A HALF A DAY SCUBA DIVING

WHICH WAS NOWHERE ON THE PRESIDENT'S ITINERARY.

HE ADVANCED THE NEW YORK TRIP, AND GOT TICKETS

TO SOMETHING THAT THE PRESIDENT

HAD NO INTENTION OF SEEING.

HE'S WORKING FOR HOYNES NOW? YEAH.

PLAYED 18 HOLES AT PEBBLE BEACH.

TECHNICALLY WHAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO.

WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE A NAVY HELICOPTER AND MAKE IT WAIT.

WELL, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH US?

WE KNOW WHO LEAKED THE STORY.

HEY.

YOU REMEMBER CHAD MARGRUDIAN?

THE ADVANCE MAN?

YEAH. HE TOOK A RIDE...

I KNOW ABOUT THIS

ALREADY. THE ROUND OF GOLF.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

DANNY GOT IT FROM A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE.

AND DANNY GAVE IT TO YOU?

ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT?

AS LONG AS IT WASN'T THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

TOBY. I WAS JOK...

IT BETTER HAVE BEEN. WHAT ELSE?

C.J. WHAT ELSE?

THERE'S GOING TO BE A THING WITH ZOEY.

HER SOCIOLOGY PROFESSOR'S TEACHING SOME THINGS.

WE'RE GOING TO GET HER OUT OF THE CLASS.

YOU CAN DUMP THEM BOTH OUT WITH THE TRASH.

OKAY.

AND I WAS KIDDING BEFORE.

I DON'T LEAK STORIES TO DANNY.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK DANNY.

I DO BELIEVE YOU.

GOOD.

YOU OKAY BY YOURSELF?

WHY WOULDN'T I BE OKAY?

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

HER NAME IS KAREN LARSEN.

SHE'D WORKED ON THE VICE PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGN

AND IN HIS PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICE.

AIDES THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING A BIT OF A CRUSH ON HOYNES

SO THEY MOVED HER FURTHER AWAY.

WHERE?

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

PERSONNEL?

YEAH.

HOW HIGH IS HER FBI CLEARANCE?

HIGH ENOUGH. I THINK WE FOUND OUR MAN.

SAM, HAVE A TALK WITH HER

WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM THE HILL.

YEAH.

THE WAY THE EUROPEAN UNION'S SET UP

THE RULES FAVOR THE IMPORT OF BANANAS

FROM LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRIES

THAT USED TO BE EUROPEAN COLONIES.

I DON'T WANT TO SPEND A WHOLE DAY

TALKING ABOUT BANANAS.

GOOD MORNING, NANCY, GOOD MORNING, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

GOOD MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT.

DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED A BANANA? NO.

NANCY, RUN GET THE PRESIDENT A BANANA.

I REALLY DON'T WANT A BANANA.

ARE YOU SURE, SIR? YES, THANK YOU.

IT'S GOT LOTS OF POTASSIUM.

I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU NOW.

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.

GOOD MORNING, SIR. GOOD MORNING, SIR.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

THE POINT THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE

IS THAT THE RULES DISCRIMINATE AGAINST BANANAS

FROM POORER LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRIES.

ARE WE A POORER LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRY?

NO.

THEN WHY AM I HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?

BECAUSE THE BANANAS GROWN IN THOSE COUNTRIES

ARE SOLD BY AMERICAN COMPANIES.

SO I'M IN TROUBLE WITH CHIQUITA AND DOLE?

WELL, IT'S NOT YOU SO MUCH AS...

YEAH, IT'S MOSTLY YOU.

TOBY?

YES, SIR?

WE HAVE APPOINTED FIVE PEOPLE

TO THE CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC BROADCASTING.

REPUBLICANS IN THE HOUSE

AS WELL AS AN ALARMING NUMBER OF DEMOCRATS

HAVE BEEN HOLDING UP THOSE APPOINTMENTS.

I-I'VE BEEN FULLY BRIEFED.

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, THEIR RELUCTANCE

HAS LITTLE, IF ANYTHING, TO DO WITH BANANAS.

I'M MEETING WITH SOME KEY PEOPLE THIS AFTERNOON.

YOU'RE ALL SET?

I... WAS RAISED ON SESAME STREET;

I WAS RAISED ON JULIA CHILD;

I WAS RAISED ON BRIDESHEAD REVISITED.

THEIR LEGACIES ARE SAFE IN MY HANDS, SIR.

( laughing )

YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM?

YOU WATCHED COOKING SHOWS?

I WATCHED MISS JULIA CHILD.

OKAY.

Leo: C.J., MANDY TALK TO YOU

ABOUT THE LYDELLS?

YEAH. YOU'RE GOING TO SIT WITH THEM?

WHEN THEY GET IN THIS AFTERNOON.

President: THEN TALK TO THE FATHER.

YES, SIR. AND THE MOTHER, TOO--

BUT I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE FATHER.

SIR, IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE NATURE OF YOUR CONCERN?

MANDY SAYS HE'S WITHDRAWN.

THAT HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. HIS SON WAS JUST KILLED.

HIS SON WAS JUST KILLED

BECAUSE HE WAS GAY.

AND...?

THIS IS NO TIME TO PUT A GUY FRONT AND CENTER

WHO'S EMBARRASSED THAT HIS SON WAS GAY.

REALLY.

FATHERS AND SONS, C.J.

THIS GUY SELLS DENTAL SUPPLIES IN THE TWIN CITIES

SO HOW ENLIGHTENED DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO BE?

YEAH, BUT HIS SON JUST DIED.

SIT AND TALK TO THEM.

YES, SIR.

President: IS THAT IT?

MR. PRESIDENT, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY

TO LOOK AT THE SEX EDUCATION REPORT?

I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE YET.

'CAUSE IT'S VERY DRAMATIC.

WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE RIGHT FORUM

WITH WHICH TO PRESENT IT TO THE PUBLIC.

I'LL LOOK IT OVER AND WE'LL TALK AT THE END OF THE DAY.

YES, SIR. THANK YOU.

JOSH AND SAM, WAIT UP A SECOND.

LEO, DON'T GO AWAY.

MM-HMM.

EXCUSE US, LINDELL.

THANK YOU.

WHAT TIME ARE YOU GOING UP TO THE HILL?

NOON.

I WANT TO PREEMPT A HEARING. I DON'T WANT IT.

I DON'T WANT IT FOR LEO.

I DON'T WANT IT FOR HIS FAMILY.

I DON'T WANT IT FOR US.

THEY KNOW THAT AND THEY'RE GOING TO PLAY "LET'S MAKE A DEAL."

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING OFF THE TABLE

UNTIL YOU'VE TALKED TO ME, YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES, SIR. OKAY.

UNLESS A WAR BREAKS OUT

I'LL BE SPENDING MUCH OF MY DAY TALKING ABOUT BANANAS.

GODSPEED TO YOU, SIR.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT.

ALL RIGHT.

IS SIMON BLYE COMING IN TO MEET WITH YOU TODAY?

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

I BROKE INTO YOUR SECRET SCHEDULE COMPARTMENT

AND TOOK INFRARED PHOTOS WITH MY COMPACT CAMERA.

SIR...

MARGARET TOLD ME. LOOK...

WHY ARE YOU MEETING WITH THAT MAN?

HE'S A GOOD FRIEND.

NO, HE'S NOT.

HE'S BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO ME.

IN GOOD TIMES, LEO.

IT'S NOT HARD TO LIKE A GUY WHEN HE'S DOING WELL.

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

IS HOW DOES HE BEHAVE WHEN THINGS ARE OTHERWISE?

I NEED SOME COUNSEL.

THAT YOU COULDN'T GET FROM ME...

OR TOBY OR JOSH OR SAM OR C.J.?

I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, MR. PRESIDENT, AND--

I KNOW YOU. AND, OF COURSE, YOUR COUNSEL

IS VALUED ABOVE ALL ELSE.

I JUST MEANT...

I CAN USE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.

YOU PUT A LOT OF FAITH IN PEOPLE, LEO

AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET DISAPPOINTED.

YES, SIR.

ESPECIALLY NOW.

YES, SIR.

OKAY.

OH, AT SOME POINT, YOU'VE GOT TO READ THE SEX ED REPORT.

I WILL.

THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.

HEY.

HEY!

TELL ME SOMETHING.

OKAY.

ARE WE OFF THE RECORD?

SURE. ARE WE?

YES. FEELS LIKE WE'RE

STILL ON THE RECORD.

I DON'T FLICK A SWITCH.

WE'RE OFF THE RECORD.

NEVER MIND.

WHAT WAS IT?

IT WAS... NOTHING.

I WANT TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR

THAT I HAVE NO OBJECTION TO THE KISSING.

I UNDERSTAND.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK

THAT IT WAS A PROBLEM FOR ME.

THERE WON'T BE ANY MORE KISSING.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT A FATHER COULD BE EMBARRASSED

ABOUT HIS SON BEING GAY

EVEN AFTER HIS SON WAS MURDERED?

YES.

POSSIBLE TO THE EXTENT

THAT HE'D BE DISINCLINED TO SUPPORT A LAW

THAT WOULD IMPOSE STIFFER PENALTIES

UPON THE PERPETRATORS OF HATE CRIMES

INCLUDING THE ONES

WHO TIED HIS 17-YEAR-OLD SON TO A TREE

AND THREW ROCKS AT HIS HEAD?

YES.

IT ELUDES ME.

I KNOW. OKAY.

YOU GOING TO TELL US

ABOUT THE ADVANCE GUY AND THE HELICOPTER?

I'LL HAVE INFORMATION ON FRIDAY.

YOU'LL DUMP IT IN THE FRIDAY TRASH.

HE'S A C-LEVEL AIDE TO THE VICE PRESIDENT.

HE'S RESIGNING. YOU WANT TO RUN A SPECIAL SECTION?

JUST MINDING THE PEOPLE'S BUSINESS.

A JOB YOU'RE UNIQUELY SUITED FOR.

THANK YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

OKAY. SEE YA.

OKAY, YOU SHOULD GO NOW.

I WORK HERE.

YES... THEN...

I SHOULD GO.

OKAY.

Bruno: THIS ISN'T A TRIAL.

THIS ISN'T A DEPOSITION.

YOU WON'T BE SWORN IN.

YOU'RE NOT ON THE RECORD.

THERE WILL BE NO RECORD.

I SIT ON THE HOUSE APPROPRIATIONS SUBCOMMITTEE

FOR WHITE HOUSE BUDGET AND MANAGEMENT.

THANKS.

MANY OF MY COLLEAGUES, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE

ARE ASKING THAT HEARINGS BE HELD

TO DETERMINE IF THERE WAS ANY WRONGDOING

ON THE PART OF SENIOR WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS

IN COVERING UP LEO McGARRY'S PAST PROBLEMS

WITH ALCOHOL AND DRUGS.

I WANT TO SEE IF WE CAN AVOID THAT.

AS I'M SURE YOU DO, AS WELL.

YES, SIR.

SO... WHAT HAPPENED?

LEO?

IS HE HERE?

YES.

SEND HIM IN.

LEO! SIMON.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING.

OF COURSE.

ANY TROUBLE GETTING HERE?

NO, NO.

HOW'S MEREDITH?

SPENDING ALL HER TIME IN THE COUNTRY NOW.

WELL...

YOU BUILT THE HOUSE, SIMON.

( laughing )

AND I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, LEO.

WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT YOU?

OKAY.

Sam: THIS PAST NOVEMBER 21st

CONGRESSMAN LILLIENFIELD ANNOUNCED

IN A SORT OF RECKLESS FASHION

THAT ONE IN THREE WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS WAS ON DRUGS.

WE WERE IN THE MIDST OF ANNOUNCING OUR NOMINEE

FOR THE SUPREME COURT

SO THERE WAS A CERTAIN AMOUNT...

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BLOW THE MOMENT.

YES.

YOU CAN SPEAK CANDIDLY HERE.

THANK YOU.

DID TOBY ZIEGLER ASK YOU TO INVESTIGATE THE CLAIM?

Sam: "INVESTIGATE" IS A WORD THAT

GETS US INTO SOME TROUBLE. AH.

YOU CONDUCTED INTERVIEWS WITH STAFFERS TO DETERMINE...

AS A FIRST GLANCE.

RIGHT.

IF THERE WERE ANY STAFFERS USING DRUGS

OF IF ANYONE KNEW OF ANY STAFFERS USING DRUGS.

Josh: THAT'S RIGHT.

Bruno: AND CLAYPOOL SUBPOENAED

THE PAPERWORK ON THE INTERVIEWS.

UNDER THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT.

OKAY.

I'VE GOT YOUR CLAYPOOL DEPOSITION HERE

AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT.

Josh: SURE.

Simon: JOSH LYMAN AND SAM SEABORN--

IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING

THEY'RE UP WITH BRUNO'S PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S RIGHT.

TRYING TO AVOID A HEARING.

THEY WON'T BE SUCCESSFUL.

JOSH AND SAM ARE PRETTY GOOD.

AND BRUNO'S A REASONABLE GUY, SO...

THERE'S GOING TO BE A HEARING, LEO

AND IT'LL TAKE MONTHS AND IT'LL BE AWFUL.

WE'RE GOING TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT BOOZE AND PILLS

AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE YOU DID.

OH, SIMON...

THE PRESIDENT'S GOT A BUDGET TO PASS

HE'S GOT TO GET MENDOZA CONFIRMED

AND IN NINE MONTHS, HE'S GOT TO GET

A DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS ELECTED.

LEO...

SIMON, DID YOU COME HERE TO TELL ME

YOU THINK I SHOULD RESIGN?

YEAH.

I'VE OFFERED THE PRESIDENT MY RESIGNATION.

HE WON'T ACCEPT IT.

HE'S BLINDED BY FRIENDSHIP AND HE'S BEING FOOLISH

AND YOU SHOULD POINT THAT OUT TO HIM.

SIMON, I'M JUST TAKING A GUESS--

IS THERE AN OP-ED PIECE COMING OUT

THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

IN TOMORROW'S POST.

I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW AS A COURTESY

SINCE WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR SO LONG.

I HAVE A COPY WITH ME...

NO, I DON'T NEED TO SEE IT.

I KNOW WHAT IT SAYS.

LEO...

FOR THE GOOD OF THE PARTY.

FOR THE GOOD OF THE PRESIDENT.

YES.

A LEADING DEMOCRAT COMES OUT IN THE POST

AND CALLS FOR MY RESIGNATION.

THAT PROBABLY WON'T GET MUCH ATTENTION...

LEO...

AND IT WILL DEFINITELY NOT DISTRACT

FROM THE PRESIDENT'S AGENDA.

NOW, HANG ON A SECOND... I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU

MAKING THE ROUNDS

ON THE SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOWS IN A WHILE, SIMON.

I'M GLAD I COULD HELP OUT.

I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD GO DIFFERENTLY.

TELL ME SOMETHING--

WHERE'S YOUR GRAVE CONCERN

FOR COUNTRY, PARTY AND PRESIDENT WHEN YOU'RE OUT WHORING

FOR STANDARD OIL?

I'M INSULTED BY THAT.

WELL, GOD, I SURE DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

I DO NOT... THINK YOU SHOULD WALK OUT OF HERE NOW.

LEO... AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK YOU SHOULD RUN.

OH, GOD.

Josh: HOW LONG?

Bruno: AFTER THE MIDTERMS.

THAT'S ALMOST A YEAR.

YES, SIR.

YOU WANT THE WHITE HOUSE

TO KEEP THIS IN A DRAWER FOR A YEAR?

YES, SIR. WHY?

I DON'T WANT THEM TO BEG. NOBODY DOES.

NOBODY WANTS TO SUPPORT IT.

NOBODY WANTS TO OPPOSE IT.

NOBODY WANTS THE DEBATE-- NOT TILL AFTER MIDTERMS.

WE PUT THIS THING IN A DRAWER FOR A YEAR

AND YOU CAN GUARANTEE US...

THERE'LL BE NO HEARINGS IN THE HOUSE.

THE PRESIDENT WILL NEVER GO FOR IT.

YES, HE WILL.

LEO McGARRY HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

NEITHER HAS ANYONE ELSE.

THE HEARINGS AREN'T GOING TO TURN UP ANYTHING.

WE'RE NOT FRIGHTENED ENOUGH...

OH, STOP IT. HONEST TO GOD.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE HELL THE HEARING TURNS UP.

IT'S A HEARING.

THIS ONE IS DRUGS SO IT'S SEXY.

THIS IS GERALDO'S DREAM COME TRUE.

SO DON'T GET UP WITH ME, OKAY?

I AM THROWING YOU A ROPE.

SOMETHING I'D LIKE THE TWO OF YOU TO REMEMBER

THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE MOUTHING OFF ON FACE THE NATION.

YOU CAN'T GET ANYTHING DONE

'CAUSE HOUSE REPUBLICANS ARE VINDICTIVE.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

YOU PUT TEENAGERS IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

YOU GUYS SCREWED THIS UP FROM THE BEGINNING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FIRST ON McGARRY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD THE WHITE HOUSE COUNSEL'S OFFICE

RUN THE INTERNAL INVESTIGATION.

YOU COME REMARKABLY CLOSE TO PERJURY

IN THIS CLAYPOOL DEPOSITION.

I'D LIKE TO HOLD HEARINGS

INTO THE TWO OF YOU BEING STUPID.

BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME.

HERE'S THE PHONE.

I'M SURE THE PRESIDENT IS WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.

EXCUSE US.

TOBY, YOUR ARGUMENT ISN'T WITH US.

WE WATCH PBS. WE LIKE PBS.

BUT WE ALSO WORK FOR CONGRESSMEN

WHO HAVE CONSTITUENCIES

THAT WANT TO KNOW WHY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

IS SUBSIDIZING TELEVISION FOR RICH PEOPLE.

IT'S NOT TELEVISION FOR RICH PEOPLE.

OH, TOBY... IT'S NOT TELEVISION FOR RICH PEOPLE.

IN FACT, THE PUBLIC TELEVISION AUDIENCE

IS A FAIRLY ACCURATE REFLECTION

OF THE SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC MAKEUP OF THE UNITED STATES.

ONE QUARTER OF THE PBS AUDIENCE IS IN HOUSEHOLDS

WITH INCOMES LOWER THAN $20,000 A YEAR.

BLACKS COMPRISE 11% OF THE PUBLIC TELEVISION AUDIENCE

AND BLACKS COMPRISE 11% OF THE COMMERCIAL TV AUDIENCE.

47% OF PBS VIEWERS HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION, OR LESS

WHICH IS ONE PERCENT BETTER THAN THE COMMERCIAL TV AUDIENCE.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT?

ARE THEY HERE? THEY'RE IN THE MURAL ROOM.

WHY DON'T YOU GET MANDY.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

SHE'S IN THE OVAL OFFICE, HAVING WHAT MUST BE

A VERY COMFORTABLE CONVERSATION

WITH THE PRESIDENT.

President: "THE MAJORITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE

"MOVE FROM KISSING TO MORE INTIMATE SEXUAL BEHAVIORS

"DURING THEIR TEENAGE YEARS.

MORE THAN 50% ENGAGE IN PETTING BEHAVIOR."

THAT'S WHAT I THINK IT IS, RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

"BY THE AGE OF 14

"MORE THAN 25% HAVE TOUCHED A GIRL'S..."

I WON'T SAY THAT WORD.

NOT GOING TO SAY THAT.

OKAY.

NOT GOING TO SAY THAT.

EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT.

YES?

MANDY, THE LYDELLS ARE WAITING IN THE MURAL ROOM.

DOES C.J. KNOW?

SHE'S WAITING OUTSIDE.

MR. PRESIDENT?

GO.

THANK YOU, SIR.

THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE WHAT'S IN THAT REPORT, SIR?

WITH YOU?

YES, SIR.

NO.

MAY I ASK WHY NOT, SIR?

BECAUSE I'D RATHER NOT BE IN THERAPY

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

VERY WELL, SIR.

( door closes )

I WON'T SAY THAT WORD.

MR. AND MRS. LYDELL?

YES.

I'M C.J. CREGG

AND YOU'VE ALREADY MET MANDY.

YES. HOW DO YOU DO?

PLEASE SIT.

WE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR COMING SUCH A LONG WAY

PARTICULARLY SO SOON AFTER THIS UNSPEAKABLE TRAGEDY.

WELL, WE'RE GLAD TO BE HERE.

THAT'S WHY WE ASKED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE.

IT WAS MANDY'S IMPRESSION-- AND PERHAPS IT WAS MISTAKEN--

THAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

UH, HAVE SOME RESERVATIONS

ABOUT APPEARING IN SUPPORT

OF THE PRESIDENT.

I HATE TO HAVE TO PUT IT SO BLUNTLY

BUT IS THAT TRUE?

C.J.

WE STRONGLY SUPPORT THE HATE CRIMES LAW

THE PRESIDENT IS SIGNING TOMORROW NIGHT.

MR. LYDELL?

YES?

I'M SORRY. I WAS ASKING...

MR. LYDELL, I DON'T KNOW... HOW ELSE TO PUT THIS

BUT IF YOU APPEAR IN FRONT OF THE PRESS

TO BE AT ALL EMBARRASSED

BY YOUR SON'S HOMOSEXUALITY...

I GUESS, LET ME JUST ASK...

DO YOU SUPPORT THE PRESIDENT?

YES. WE DO.

NO. WE DO NOT.

JONATHAN...

NO. THAT WAS REALLY THE LAST... NO...

WE DO NOT.

THE HATE CRIMES BILL IS FINE.

WHO GIVES A DAMN?

IT'S FINE.

I DON'T CARE.

IF YOU ASK ME, WE SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS

AGAINST WHAT'S IN A PERSON'S HEAD

BUT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

IT'S FINE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS PRESIDENT, WHO I VOTED FOR...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAN TAKE

SUCH A COMPLETELY WEAK-ASS POSITION ON GAY RIGHTS.

JONATHAN...

GAYS IN THE MILITARY, SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, GAY ADOPTION

BOARDS OF EDUCATION...

WHERE THE HELL IS HE?

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT QUALITY NECESSARY TO BEING A PARENT

THE PRESIDENT FEELS MY SON LACKED.

I WANT TO KNOW FROM THIS PRESIDENT

WHO HAS SERVED NOT ONE DAY IN UNIFORM--

I HAD TWO TOURS IN VIETNAM--

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT QUALITY NECESSARY TO BEING A SOLDIER

THIS PRESIDENT FEELS MY SON LACKED.

LADY, I'M NOT EMBARRASSED

THAT MY SON WAS GAY...

MY GOVERNMENT IS.

WILL YOU EXCUSE US A MOMENT?

MANDY...

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEND THEM HOME.

THEY'LL BE FINE.

THEY WON'T BE FINE.

MANDY...

THIS THING'S GOING TO BE OVER

AND THE PRESS IS GOING TO SURROUND THEM...

SO THE PRESS SURROUNDS HIM.

HE SAYS WHAT HE SAYS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HE MADE A REASONABLE POINT, AND MAYBE HE'S GOT A RIGHT.

TO TALK TO REPORTERS ON OUR DIME?

YEAH. MAYBE, YEAH.

YOU ARE THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY.

THEY SAID THEY SUPPORT THE BILL.

WHAT ELSE...? C.J.

GET IT TOGETHER.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I KNOW.

I KNOW.

WE HAVE TO SEND THEM HOME.

I KNOW.

I'LL GO LET THEM KNOW.

NO.

NO. I'LL DO IT.

OKAY.

Lock: I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, TOBY.

WHEN PBS CLAIMS THAT A MAJORITY OF HOUSEHOLDS

ARE WEEKLY VIEWERS

THEY USE THE NIELSEN INDEX

THAT'S BASED ON DIARIES.

THOSE RESULTS ALWAYS SHOW VASTLY HIGHER PBS VIEWING

THAN THE NUMBERS GATHERED BY THE AUTOMATED BOXES.

WHY? BECAUSE THEY'RE...

BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT TO CLAIM

THEY'RE MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN THEY ARE.

Lock: THAT'S RIGHT.

LOOK...

HANG ON. THERE'S ONE OTHER THING:

UH, PRODUCT LICENSING FOR BIG BIRD DOLLS

AND FUZZY BEAR TOYS?

FOZZY BEAR.

OH, WELL, WHATEVER.

IT'S FOZZY BEAR, NOT FUZZYBEAR.

UH, PRODUCT LICENSING FOR THIS MERCHANDISE BRINGS IN

OVER $20 MILLION A YEAR, NONE OF WHICH GOES TO PBS

ALL OF WHICH GOES TO THE SHOW'S PRODUCER--

THE CHILDREN'S TELEVISION WORKSHOP.

NOW, THIS IS A COMPANY WHOSE CHIEF EXECUTIVE EARNS

HIGH SIX-FIGURES IN SALARY AND BENEFITS PER YEAR.

YET, SESAME STREET IS SUBSIDIZED BY TAXPAYER DOLLARS.

IT'S A PERFECTLY REASONABLE COMPLAINT.

Lock: AND?

AND I DON'T CARE.

TOBY...

WE'RE GOING TO SEE TO ALL THOSE THINGS.

IN THE MEANTIME, AT A TIME WHEN THE PUBLIC IS RIGHTLY CONCERNED

ABOUT THE IMPACT OF SEX AND VIOLENCE ON TV

THIS ADMINISTRATION IS GOING TO PROTECT THE MUPPETS!

WE'RE GOING PROTECT WALL STREET WEEK

WE'RE GOING TO PROTECT LIVE FROM LINCOLN CENTER

AND, BY GOD, WE ARE GOING TO PROTECT JULIA CHILD.

( knocking )

TOBY... HANG ON.

I GOT A MESSAGE YOU WANTED TO SEE ME.

I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS. WHAT?

JOSH AND SAM CUT A DEAL ON THE HILL.

NO HEARING FOR LEO.

OH, TOBY, THAT'S... THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH. I GOT TO GET BACK IN THERE.

THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FUN.

SAM?

CATHY, THERE IS A SMALL TOWN IN ALABAMA

THAT WANTS TO PASS A LAW SAYING

IF I DON'T HONOR MY FATHER I GO TO JAIL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

HOW DO THEY KNOW IF YOU'RE HONORING YOUR FATHER OR NOT?

YEAH, I THINK THEY'VE OVERLOOKED THAT PROBLEM.

SHE'S HERE.

SEND HER IN.

ARE YOU KAREN LARSEN?

YES. I'M SAM SEABORN.

I KNOW.

THE ADVANCE MAN YOU RATTED OUT

DOESN'T WORK FOR US ANYMORE, KAREN.

HE WORKS FOR THE VICE PRESIDENT.

KIND OF SCREWED YOURSELF.

I DIDN'T...

TRYING TO WIN ONE FOR THE VICE PRESIDENT?

I DIDN'T... WERE YOU?

I WASN'T.

I'VE GOT FOUR WITNESSES, KAREN.

I'VE GOT GINGER FROM MY OFFICE

I HAVE A GUY FROM POLITICAL LIAISON

AND TWO WIRE SERVICE REPORTERS.

TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR BOSS?

MR. SEABORN...

PEOPLE SAY YOU'VE BEEN ACTING FUNNY--

LIKE YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE.

THEY THINK YOU'RE THE ONE

THAT LEAKED THE STORY ABOUT THE ADVANCE.

I'M THINKING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

MR. SEABORN, I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO

WITH THE REPORTERS FINDING OUT...

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE ROUND OF GOLF.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE HELICOPTER OR ABOUT THE ADVANCE.

KAREN, LOOK AT ME.

WERE YOU THE ONE

WHO GAVE LEO McGARRY'S PERSONNEL FILE

TO LILLIENFIELD AND CLAYPOOL?

( mumbles softly )

WHAT?

MR. CLAYPOOL IS A FAMILY FRIEND.

CATHY!

TAKE HER BACK TO HER OFFICE

AND STAND THERE WHILE SHE CLEANS OUT HER DESK.

SECURITY IS GOING TO THROW YOU OUT OF THE BUILDING

IN 15 MINUTES.

President: MRS. LANDINGHAM...

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS BUT I THINK I'D ACTUALLY LIKE A BANANA.

I'M AFRAID NOT, SIR, NO.

WHY NOT?

YOU WERE OFFERED ONE EARLIER, SIR

AND YOU WERE SNIPPY.

I WASN'T SNIPPY.

I'M AFRAID YOU WERE, MR. PRESIDENT.

C.J. IS WAITING, SIR.

THANK YOU, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

SHE WITHHOLDS FOOD FROM ME.

MR. PRESIDENT, I HATE TO KEEP JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON THIS...

THE SEX ED REPORT. YES, SIR.

WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE IT ALONE

FOR A WHILE.

SIR, WHEN YOU SAY...

AFTER THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

THAT'S A YEAR FROM NOW. YEAH.

WE'RE GOING TO STICK IT IN A DRAWER?

IT'S A PRETTY INCENDIARY REPORT.

YOU DON'T THINK WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION

TO PRESENT THE INFORMATION...

IT'S NOT GOING TO PLAY WELL IN THE P.T.A. MEETINGS, C.J.

IT SAYS WE SHOULD BE TEACHING KIDS TO HAVE SEX.

IT DOES NOT.

MR. PRESIDENT-- EXCUSE ME, SIR--

BUT IT DOES NOT.

OF COURSE IT DOESN'T.

BUT THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING TO PLAY.

THE REPORT IS VERY DIRECT, SIR.

IT SAYS WITHHOLDING KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HAVING SEX

DOESN'T PREVENT TEENAGERS FROM HAVING SEX

IT PREVENTS TEENAGERS FROM HAVING SEX SAFELY.

OFFERING INFORMATION ABOUT SAFE SEX

DOESN'T INCREASE THE RATE OF SEX

IT INCREASES THE RATE OF PROTECTED SEX.

C.J... WE COMMISSIONED THIS REPORT, MR. PRESIDENT.

THESE PEOPLE ARE DOCTORS.

WE ASKED THEM A QUESTION.

HOW CAN WE PUT IT IN A DRAWER

'CAUSE PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO LIKE THEIR ANSWER?

C.J., GETTING IT THROUGH THIS CONGRESS--

A BODY WHICH, AT THE MOMENT

WILL ONLY GIVE FEDERAL FUNDING TO SEX EDUCATION PROGRAMS

THAT TEACH ABSTINENCE ONLY...

WE HAVE AN ENORMOUS PULPIT FROM WHICH...

AND WE WILL AVAIL OURSELVES OF THAT PULPIT

BUT WE WILL DO IT AFTER THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

I THINK I UNDERSTAND.

I NEEDED TO GET LEO OFF THE HOOK, C.J.

IT'S THE DEAL JOSH AND SAM MADE.

YES.

WE'LL DEAL WITH IT AFTER

THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS.

I UNDERSTAND.

I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD.

YES, SIR.

YES, SIR.

UM, SEVERAL MEMBERS OF THE PRESS ALREADY KNOW

I THINK, THE REPORT

CAME BACK TO US AND...

YEAH.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH TELLING THEM WE GOT IT.

I WOULDN'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT.

WE GOT IT, WE'RE LOOKING AT IT, WE'RE STUDYING IT.

THROW IT OUT WITH THE TRASH.

YES, SIR.

THANKS, C.J.

THANK YOU. SIR.

MR. PRESIDENT?

WE CAN ALL BE BETTER TEACHERS.

I KNOW.

C.J.?

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HMM?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WAS, UH...

NOTHING.

OKAY.

DANNY?

MM-HMM?

IF YOU CALL MR. AND MRS. LYDELL IN ST. PAUL...

DON'T. DON'T LEAK ME A STORY.

I WASN'T. I'VE SEEN THIS LOOK

ON THE FACE OF FOUR OTHER PRESS SECRETARIES BEFORE YOU.

YOU GOT A STORY IN THE TRASH THIS WEEK THAT'S A STORY.

YOU WANT IT OUT THERE, SOMEONE SAID "NO."

THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES.

FOUR OTHERS AND YOU NEVER TOOK A FREE LEAD?

I ALWAYS TOOK A FREE LEAD.

NOT FROM YOU.

WHY?

'CAUSE 20 MINUTES FROM NOW

YOU'RE GOING TO REMEMBER YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE ME ANYMORE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I LIKE YOU NOW?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GRABBING ME AND KISSING ME

WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE?

GOOD POINT.

IF THERE'S A STORY

I'LL FIND IT.

NO, YOU WON'T.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE WE'VE GOTTEN VERY GOOD AT THIS.

YES, YOU HAVE.

YES, WE HAVE.

FOLKS, TAKE YOUR SEATS PLEASE.

WE'RE READY TO START THE BRIEFING.

Please take your seats.

( knocking ): LEO.

YEAH?

KAREN LARSEN IS HERE.

Take your seats everybody. THANKS.

I'M LEO McGARRY.

YES, SIR.

I WANTED TO MEET YOU.

AND I WANTED YOU TO MEET ME.

YES, SIR.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT DOWN YOUR THINGS AND TALK FOR A MINUTE?

IF YOU DON'T, I UNDERSTAND.

WHEN YOU READ IN MY PERSONNEL FILE

THAT I'D BEEN TREATED FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUG ABUSE

WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR MIND?

KAREN, IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN SAY IT.

THE WORST THING I'M IN POWER TO DO IS FIRE YOU

AND I'VE ALREADY DONE THAT.

MY FATHER DRANK A LOT.

SO DID MINE.

IN FACT, HE DIED FROM IT.

CAME HOME LATE ONE NIGHT VERY DRUNK.

MY MOTHER WAS YELLING AT HIM.

I'M NOT SURE ABOUT WHAT

BUT I HEARD THE YELLING DOWNSTAIRS FROM MY BEDROOM.

SHE CAME UPSTAIRS AND HE WENT OUT TO THE GARAGE

AND SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD.

IT'S THAT WHY YOU DRANK AND TOOK DRUGS?

I DRANK AND TOOK DRUGS BECAUSE I'M A DRUG ADDICT

AND AN ALCOHOLIC.

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO GET CURED?

I'M NOT CURED.

YOU DON'T GET CURED.

I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK OR A PILL IN 6-1/2 YEARS.

WHICH ISN'T TO SAY I WON'T HAVE ONE TOMORROW.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT PROBABLY A NIGHTMARE THE LIKES OF WHICH

BOTH OUR FATHERS EXPERIENCED.

AND ME, TOO.

AND...

SO, AFTER 6-1/2 YEARS YOU'RE STILL NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A DRINK?

THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T WANT THE DRINK

I WANT TEN DRINKS.

ARE THINGS THAT BAD?

NO.

THEN WHY?

'CAUSE I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I KNOW.

IT'S OKAY.

HARDLY ANYONE DOES.

IT'S VERY HARD TO UNDERSTAND.

YOU'RE NOT LIKE WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE LIKE.

YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION YET.

WHEN YOU SAW MY PERSONNEL FILE

WHEN YOU SAW I'D BEEN THROUGH TREATMENT

WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR MIND?

MY FATHER USED TO...

YOU HAVE ALL THESE IMPORTANT DECISIONS TO MAKE IN YOUR JOB.

EVERY DAY. ALL THE TIME.

DECISIONS I CAN'T EVEN...

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE'S LIVES.

KAREN, WHAT YOU DID CAUSED A LOT OF PROBLEMS.

FOR ME, FOR THE PRESIDENT

FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE WE DON'T EVEN KNOW.

BUT I'M NOT SURE IT WASN'T A LITTLE BIT BRAVE.

DID YOU LIKE WORKING IN THE WHITE HOUSE?

YES, SIR.

OKAY. THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO UNPACK YOUR CARTON

AND YOU AND I WILL GIVE EACH OTHER A SECOND CHANCE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

C.J. ( on television ): Just a couple of quick things more.

Chad Margrudian has submitted his resignation

to the Vice President's office

putting an end, I hope, to that affair.

We expect the President's appointees

to the Board of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting

to be confirmed early next week.

Oh, and I have a note here that Jonathan and Jennifer Lydell

won't be able to be at the bill signing ceremony this evening.

There was some family business

that required them to go back to St. Paul.