Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON THE WEST WING:

WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING?

JOSH SAID YOU LIKED GOLDFISH.

( laughing )

THE CRACKERS, DANNY, THE...

THE CHEESE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE AT A PARTY?

SO YOU GOT A DATE TONIGHT?

HE CALLS ME; HE TELLS ME WHAT TO WEAR;

AND THE REST OF IT'S A BIG SURPRISE.

YOUR NIGHT JOB STINKS.

FINE. AND I'M TAKING YOUR SANDWICH.

THIS IS GOING TO BE TROUBLE. LILLIENFIELD?

WERE YOU MAYBE INTO SOMETHING THAT WASN'T ACCEPTABLE? PILLS.

WERE YOU IN TREATMENT? RECORDS KEPT BY THESE FACILITIES

ARE CONFIDENTIAL, JOSH.

HE'S GOT THEM.

Mandy: THE PRESIDENT WILL STAND

NEXT TO THE TREE WITH THE ROPE LINE TO THE LEFT

AND THE CAROLERS WILL BE OFF TO THE SIDE.

WITH THE SANTA HATS ON?

NO, DICKENSIAN COSTUMES.

NICE. MAYBE WE'LL HAVE BOTH.

YOU THINK? YOU THINK THEY'LL CLASH?

IT MIGHT.

SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I'M STANDING HERE.

TO WEIGH IN ON THIS. I COULD CARE LESS.

TOBY... MORE?

WHO'S PLAYING SANTA?

AL ROKER.

PLAYING SANTA? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

WENT ON A DIET.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS? I READ.

WE'LL PAD HIM IF WE HAVE TO.

NOW WE HAVE JOSE FELICIANO.

WE HAVE SAMMY SOSA AND HIS WIFE.

DID YOU KNOW THAT RECORDINGS OF "FELIZ NAVIDAD"

OUTSOLD RECORDINGS OF "WHITE CHRISTMAS"?

WHAT ARE YOU...? SO HE SPEAKS...

ON WHAT? PAGEANT OF PEACE, SEASON OF HOPE

COMING OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM.

COMING OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM. YES.

FINE. DON'T START.

I SAID FINE.

ARE WE DONE? ARE YOU TWO GUYS DONE?

YEAH. IT'S NOT THE NEW MILLENNIUM

BUT I'LL JUST LET IT DROP. IT IS.

IT IS NOT THE NEW MILLENNIUM.

THE YEAR 2000 IS THE LAST YEAR OF THE MILLENNIUM.

IT'S NOT THE FIRST YEAR OF THE NEXT ONE.

BUT THE COMMON SENSIBILITY, TO QUOTE STEPHEN JAY GOULD...

STEPHEN J. GOULD NEEDS TO LOOK AT A CALENDAR.

GOULD SAYS THIS IS A LARGELY UNRESOLVED ISSUE.

YES, YOU'D HAVE TO LOOK AT A CALENDAR.

TOBY.

WHAT?

PHONE CALL.

I'M ARGUING NOW.

I'LL CALL BACK.

IT'S THE D.C. POLICE.

WHAT DO THEY WANT?

THEY WANT YOU.

HUH.

YOU GOT TO ASK YOURSELF WHICH IS MORE EXCITING--

WATCHING YOUR CAR ROLL OVER FROM 99,999 TO 100,000

OR WATCHING IT GO FROM 100 TO 101.

SO TECHNICALLY, THE MILLENNIUM'S STILL A YEAR AWAY.

YEAH, BUT WE'VE MADE ALL THESE PLANS.

DONNIE, WOULD YOU TELL THEM I'M ON MY WAY OVER

TO SEE THE PRESIDENT?

FLAMINGO'S ON HER WAY.

WHA...? WHAT DID YOU CALL...?

WHAT DID HE CALL ME?

EXCUSE ME.

YEAH?

I'M TOBY ZIEGLER.

WHERE YOU BEEN?

I WAS AT THE CORONER'S OFFICE.

THEY TOLD ME TO COME HERE.

DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?

NO.

YOU SURE?

YEAH.

HIS LAST NAME'S HUFNAGLE IF THAT RINGS A BELL.

NO.

HE HAD A DRIVER'S LICENSE ON HIM-- EXPIRED IN 1973.

HUFNAGLE, WALTER.

WHY'D YOU CALL ME?

HE ALSO HAD YOUR BUSINESS CARD.

DID HE?

YOU'RE TOBY ZIEGLER.

YEAH.

FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.

YEAH.

HE HAD YOUR BUSINESS CARD.

THAT'S MY COAT.

I GAVE THAT COAT TO THE GOODWILL, AND THERE MUST HAVE BEEN...

YOUR CARD WAS IN IT.

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS THAT.

WELL, THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.

YEAH.

LISTEN, THIS ISN'T A CRIME SCENE, IS IT?

NO, SIR.

I GOT THE CALL AN HOUR AGO.

I WENT TO THE CORONER'S OFFICE.

I'M JUST WONDERING WHY THE BODY'S STILL HERE.

AN AMBULANCE WILL COME BY.

IT'S NOT A HIGH PRIORITY.

AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO CALL THE V.A., RIGHT?

THE V.A.?

THE TATTOO ON HIS FOREARM, IT'S MARINE BATTALION--

THE SECOND OF THE SEVENTH.

THE GUY WAS IN KOREA.

OH.

THANKS.

YEAH, THANKS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

GOOD MORNING, JOSH.

GOOD MORNING, DONNA, AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS

TO YOU AND YOUR WHOLE PROTESTANT FAMILY.

THANK YOU.

AS YOU CAN SEE

I'VE NOT YET BOUGHT YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

YES, AND I KNOW YOU'RE AGONIZING

OVER HOW TO BEST EXPRESS YOUR APPRECIATION

AND AFFECTION FOR ME AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.

THAT AND HOW I SCRAPE TOGETHER THE TEN BUCKS.

I'VE PREPARED A LIST.

OF CHRISTMAS GIFTS SUGGESTIONS? YES.

SKI PANTS, SKI BOOTS, SKI HAT, SKI GOGGLES

SKI GLOVES, SKI POLES.

I'M ASSUMING YOU ALREADY HAVE SKIS?

PAGE TWO.

RIGHT.

JUST PICK SOMETHING OFF THE LIST

AND, YOU KNOW, FEEL FREE TO PICK TWO THINGS.

I SHOULD FEEL THAT FREEDOM. YES.

I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SKI.

WHY? I LIKE THE EQUIPMENT.

OKAY.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I NEED TO SPEAK TO LEO. WHY?

HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

REALLY?

YEAH.

SO YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE SKIS.

YEAH, I'LL GIVE THAT A LOT OF THOUGHT.

HELLO?

Leo: COME ON BACK.

GOOD MORNING, JOSH.

THIS IS QUITE AN OPERATION.

WE LIKE TO SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER.

WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY

AND WHY DO I CARE IF HE HAS A MERRY CHRISTMAS?

LEO, JUST SIGN THE DAMN THING.

LEAVE US ALONE FOR A MINUTE.

WE'RE NOT DONE YET.

TWO MINUTES.

SORRY.

I'M TIRED OF WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP.

YEAH.

LILLIENFIELD'S GOT THIS INFORMATION.

HE'S GOING TO HOLD IT TILL AFTER CHRISTMAS

WHEN PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.

I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU TOO MUCH

BUT I WANT TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT AT A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE.

WELL, YOU GOT TO TELL ME MORE THAN THAT.

SAM KNOWS A GIRL.

I'VE HEARD RUMORS. I WANT TO TALK TO HER.

NOPE. LEO...

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

SOMETHING TO KEEP IN YOUR POCKETS.

I DON'T WANT IT IN MY POCKET;

I DON'T WANT IT IN YOUR POCKET, SAM'S POCKET

AND I SURE DON'T WANT IT IN THE PRESIDENT'S POCKET.

LILLIENFIELD'S COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN, LEO.

THIS IS NO JOKE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME IT'S NO JOKE, JOSH.

IT'S MY LIFE.

ALL I'M SAYING IS, WE DON'T DO THESE THINGS.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

LISTEN, YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS KID

IN MINNESOTA?

NO.

A GAY HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR WHO GOT BEATEN UP?

THEN THEY STRIPPED HIM NAKED, TIED HIM TO A TREE

AND THREW ROCKS AND BOTTLES AT HIS HEAD.

YOU KNOW HOW OLD THE ASSAILANTS WERE?

THIRTEEN.

IS THE KID DEAD?

HE'S IN CRITICAL CONDITION.

THIS IS ALL BY WAY OF SAYING WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO REVISIT

HATE CRIMES LEGISLATION AFTER THE BREAK.

WELL, WE OUGHT TO GAUGE REACTION BEFORE WE WADE IN TOO DEEP.

C.J.'s GOING TO SEND UP A TEST BALLOON AT HER BRIEFING.

ALL RIGHT.

MARGARET?

YES, SIR.

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

SEE YOU LATER.

YEAH.

THE PRESIDENT IS SCHEDULED TO LEAVE FOR NEW HAMPSHIRE

TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00 A.M. ON THE DOT NO HOLDUPS, NO DELAYS

WHICH MEANS HE OUGHT TO BE LEAVING AROUND NOON.

HE'LL SPEND CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE MANCHESTER HOUSE

AND THEN ATTEND CHRISTMAS SERVICES

WITH HIS FAMILY IN THE MORNING.

C.J.? IS THE WHITE HOUSE AWARE

THAT A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT WAS ATTACKED?

YEAH. HIS NAME IS LOWELL LYDELL.

HE'S 17 YEARS OLD.

HE'S IN CRITICAL CONDITION AT ST. PAUL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

WITH A SEVERELY FRACTURED SKULL, MASSIVE INTERNAL

HEMORRHAGING AND VARIOUS BROKEN BONES AND LACERATIONS.

WE'LL KEEP YOU UPDATED THROUGH LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

YOU THINK THIS WILL REVISIT DEBATE

ON HATE CRIME LEGISLATION?

YES, I DO, THOUGH I SUPPOSE THE BEST TIME TO DO THAT

WOULD HAVE BEEN THE DAY BEFORE LOWELL LYDELL GOT

HIS BRAINS BEATEN OUT AND NOT THE DAY AFTER. WHO'S NEXT?

WALTER HUFNAGLE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN HOLDING ON FOR...

I SAY I'VE BEEN HOLDING ON FOR THE BETTER PART OF...

SURE. YEAH.

( knocking )

ARE YOU BUSY?

I'M HOLDING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

A HOMELESS KOREAN WAR VET DIED OF EXPOSURE

OUT ON THE MALL LAST NIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW IF HIS FAMILY'S BEEN CONTACTED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF BURIAL.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM?

I DON'T. THEN WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; WHAT DO YOU NEED?

THIS MIGHT SEEM TRIVIAL

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. WHAT?

THE SANTA HATS DO CLASH WITH THE DICKENSIAN COSTUMES.

IT MIGHT SEEM TRIVIAL?

I... JUST KEEPING YOU IN THE LOOP.

YES, I'M HERE. GO AWAY.

YEAH, I KNOW.

JOSH.

YES.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

DONNA, I CAN ASSURE YOU

I'M GIVING YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST THE CONSIDERATION...

SERIOUSLY. HMM.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH LEO?

DONNA...

I JUST HEARD SOMETHING.

FROM WHO?

FROM MARGARET.

THE TWO OF YOU SHOULDN'T BE...

YEAH, BUT WE DID. DONNA...

IS IT TRUE?

YEAH.

WELL...?

WELL, WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

FOR THE MOMENT, NOTHING.

WE'RE GOING... JOSH...

WE'RE GOING TO WAIT AND SEE HOW... WAIT AND SEE.

THERE'S NOT MUCH ELSE I CAN DO. WE'LL WAIT AND SEE.

YES.

COULD YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THE FACE...

IT'S MY FACE. LIKE I JUST KILLED YOUR HAMSTER?

I JUST THINK IF THE TABLES WERE TURNED... DONNA...

IF ONE OF US WAS IN TROUBLE, HE WOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON...

I KNOW.

I KNOW.

IT WAS MY REGULAR FACE, JOSH.

I WASN'T TRYING TO GUILT YOU.

I KNOW.

I HAVE TO WORK.

( knocking )

OKAY.

C.J.: OKAY, KIDS

REMEMBER THE DRILL.

IN A BIG VOICE, YOU'LL SAY YOUR NAME, YOUR GRADE

AND THEN YOU'LL ASK THE PRESIDENT THE QUESTION

THAT YOU AND YOUR TEACHER HAVE PREPARED AND WRITTEN DOWN

ON YOUR INDEX CARD.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT A BIG

"GOOD MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT"

WHEN HE COMES IN THE ROOM?

HERE WE GO.

Children: GOOD MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT!

OH, THAT SOUNDED PRETTY WEAK TO ME; LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

GOOD MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT!

THAT'S BETTER.

NOW WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE MAKING A RUCKUS

AND TRACKING UP MY FLOOR?

YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JEFFREY LUCAS.

AND WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TALLER, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU

15, 16 YEARS OLD?

I'M SEVEN. ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU'RE FINE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

COME ON. I'M A BUSY MAN.

I AM, AFTER ALL, THE PRESIDENT OF BULGARIA.

Children: NO!

NOW, WAIT A SECOND; THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

I'M NOT THE PRESIDENT OF BULGARIA.

I AM THE PRESIDENT OF LUXEMBOURG.

Children: NO!

HANG ON. I KNOW I'M THE PRESIDENT OF SOMETHING.

Children: AMERICA!

President: YES, THANK YOU.

I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

WHO HAS A QUESTION? Children: ME!

YES, MA'AM.

MY NAME IS JESSICA HODGES, AND I'M IN THE THIRD GRADE

AND THIS IS MY QUESTION:

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT BEING PRESIDENT?

President: MY FAVORITE PART

ABOUT BEING PRESIDENT?

YES. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

WHO'S NEXT? Children: ME!

ALL RIGHT. WAIT. HANG ON A SECOND.

ALL RIGHT.

APPARENTLY, THERE'S A GROUP OF KIDS

IN THE OTHER ROOM THAT I MIGHT LIKE BETTER.

Children: NO!

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT YOU ASKED ME TO KEEP YOU POSTED.

YEAH. MM-HMM.

LOWELL LYDELL DIED

ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO.

( sighs )

OKAY.

UH, LET'S WAIT A COUPLE OF HOURS.

THEN I'LL CALL HIS PARENTS.

YEAH.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, NOW ON WITH THE QUESTIONS.

Children: ME!

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

WHEN YOU ADDRESS ME, PLEASE BEAR IN MIND THAT YOU

ARE SPEAKING TO HIS ROYAL MAJESTY, THE KING OF ALL ENGLAND.

Children: NO!

WELL, WHAT WAS IT AGAIN?

Children: AMERICA!

YES.

HEY.

HEY.

SAW YOUR BRIEFING.

WHAT'D I DO?

I'M NOT SURE I'D HAVE PUT MY FOOT ON THE GAS SO HARD

WITH HATE-CRIMES LEGISLATION.

FIRST OF ALL, I BARELY GRAZED THE GAS.

SECOND OF ALL, WHY NOT?

WE'RE NOT SURE WHERE WE STAND ON THIS.

I KNOW WHERE I STAND ON THIS.

CONGRATULATIONS, BUT THE REST OF US...

THEY THREW ROCKS AT HIS HEAD.

I UNDERSTAND.

I'M JUST SAYING...

I'LL KEEP MY FOOT OFF THE GAS.

THANK YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET SERVICE CODE NAME?

THEY JUST CHANGED THEM.

I KNOW. WHAT'S YOURS?

"PRINCETON." MINE'S "FLAMINGO."

THAT'S NICE.

NO, IT'S NOT NICE.

FLAMINGO'S A NICE-LOOKING BIRD.

A FLAMINGO IS A RIDICULOUS-LOOKING BIRD.

YOU'RE NOT RIDICULOUS-LOOKING.

I KNOW I'M NOT RIDICULOUS-LOOKING.

ANY WAY FOR ME TO GET OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION?

I'M GOING TO TALK TO SOMEONE.

EXCELLENT.

HEY, SAM. HOW YOU DOING?

I AM GOING TO BE IN BERMUDA IN 27 HOURS IS HOW I'M DOING.

WHERE'S TOBY?

HE HAD TO RUN OUT OF THE OFFICE.

SAM... HEY.

YOU GOT A SECOND?

YEAH.

83 DEGREES IN BERMUDA.

JUST ME, SOME SUNTAN OIL

AND 655 PAGES OF BRIEFING MEMOS.

I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

I NEED TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.

WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING.

LISTEN...

YOU WOULD DESCRIBE HER AS...

I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS HER NAME AGAIN?

LAURIE.

SHE'S EXPENSIVE?

I WOULD HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING

HOW MUCH... I UNDERSTAND...

YES. YEAH?

VERY EXPENSIVE.

SHE'S ELITE?

YES. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?

SAM, I NEED TO KNOW

IF SHE WOULD DIVULGE THE NAME OR NAMES

OF ANY INFLUENTIAL REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF CONGRESS

THAT SHE MIGHT'VE...

NO WAY.

SAM... SAM... THERE'S NO WAY...

JOSH... THERE'S A THING

THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

WHAT?

LILLIENFIELD KNOWS

THAT LEO'S A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC.

EVERYONE KNOWS LEO'S A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC.

BUT THEY DON'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE PILLS.

THERE WAS VALIUM.

HE WAS IN REHAB.

WHEN?

SIX YEARS AGO.

HE WAS SECRETARY OF LABOR SIX YEARS AGO.

YEAH.

HE WAS HIGH

WHEN HE WAS RUNNING THE LABOR DEPARTMENT?

YEAH.

AND LILLIENFIELD KNOWS THIS?

I'M FAIRLY SURE.

THAT'S WHY HE STARTED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

LILLIENFIELD'S GONE HUNTING.

SAM, WE OWE LEO EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, EVERYTHING.

I'LL CALL HER...

AND WE'LL GO SEE HER TOGETHER.

THANKS.

( sighs )

CHARLIE...

YES, MA'AM?

IT'S IMPORTANT YOU REMIND THE PRESIDENT

THROUGHOUT THE DAY, HE'S ALLERGIC TO EGGNOG.

SURE.

THANK YOU.

THIS PLACE LOOKS GREAT, DOESN'T IT?

YEAH.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A CHRISTMAS LOOK LIKE THIS--

THE TREES AND THE LIGHTS AND EVERYBODY SINGING...

YEAH.

THE PRESENTS...

YEAH.

I BROUGHT IT UP 'CAUSE-- I DON'T KNOW--

YOU SEEM A LITTLE DOWN THIS WEEK.

YEAH, I KNOW, CHARLIE.

I TEND TO GET A LITTLE DOWN DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

YOU DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS?

I MISS MY BOYS.

I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD KIDS.

TWINS... ANDREW AND SIMON.

I TRIED NOT TO--

YOU KNOW, I DRESSED THEM DIFFERENTLY--

BUT THEY STILL DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

THEY WENT OFF TO MEDICAL SCHOOL TOGETHER

AND, THEN, THEY FINISHED THEIR SECOND YEAR

AND, OF COURSE, THEIR LOTTERY NUMBER CAME UP

AT THE SAME TIME.

FOR THE DRAFT?

YEAH.

I WOULD'VE THOUGHT THEY COULD GET A DEFERMENT

TO FINISH MED SCHOOL.

THEY DIDN'T WANT ONE.

THEIR FATHER AND I BEGGED THEM

BUT THEY WANTED TO GO WHERE PEOPLE NEEDED DOCTORS.

THEIR FATHER AND I BEGGED THEM

BUT YOU CAN'T TELL KIDS ANYTHING.

SO, THEY JOINED UP AS MEDICS AND FOUR MONTHS LATER

THEY WERE PINNED DOWN DURING A FIGHT IN DA NANG

AND WERE KILLED BY ENEMY FIRE.

THAT WAS, UH, CHRISTMAS EVE, 1970.

YOU KNOW, THEY WERE SO YOUNG, CHARLIE.

THEY WERE YOUR AGE.

IT'S HARD WHEN THAT HAPPENS SO FAR AWAY, YOU KNOW

BECAUSE WITH THE NOISES AND THE SHOOTING

THEY HAD TO BE SO SCARED.

IT'S HARD NOT TO THINK THAT...

RIGHT THEN, THEY NEEDED THEIR MOTHER.

ANYWAY...

I MISS MY BOYS.

OKAY.

YOU SIGN THE BOOK?

EXCUSE ME?

UH, SIGN THE BOOK?

SURE.

UH, YOU LOOKING

FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR?

NO.

NO.

I'M NOT A VISITOR.

I WAS, UH...

I'M NOT THE POLICE.

I WAS...

A HOMELESS MAN DIED THIS MORNING NEAR THE MONUMENT.

YEAH, UH...

WHEN THE WEATHER GETS DOWN...

OCCURRED TO ME THAT...

MAYBE HE SLEPT THERE A LOT, MAYBE... YOU KNEW HIM.

YEAH, HE WAS ONE OF THEM.

WAS HE A FRIEND OF YOURS?

NO.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

I'M JUST TRYING TO... CONTACT SOMEONE THAT MIGHT...

YOU KNOW, BE INTERESTED THAT HE DIED.

HE'D USUALLY HANG AROUND, UH, CAPITOL AND "P."

I'D TRY THERE.

THANKS.

ARE YOU A VETERAN?

YEAH.

TOBY ZIEGLER.

JOHN NOONAN.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Mandy: A COUPLE OF GUYS.

NO. MR. PRESIDENT, A COUPLE OF GUYS.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?

PREPARING A STRATEGY FOR THE EUROPEAN

ECONOMIC SUMMIT IN FEBRUARY.

BLOW IT OFF.

OKAY. SERIOUSLY.

TAKE AN HOUR AND COME SHOPPING WITH US.

YOU'RE GOING SHOPPING? HE WON'T LET ME SEND

SOME PRESS ALONG. LEAVE ME ALONE.

HOW ARE YOU GOING SHOPPING?

I SNEAK OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN.

YOU SNEAK OUT?

YEAH-- A COUPLE OF AGENTS

AN UNMARKED BLACK SUBURBAN

THEY CLEAR THE STORE, I'M IN, I'M OUT...

IT'S LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.

I NEVER KNEW THIS.

DID YOU KNOW THERE'S

AN UNDERGROUND TUNNEL?

YES.

I HAVEN'T FOUND IT

ALTHOUGH I SEARCH EVERY DAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

PLACE CALLED "RARE BOOKS."

KNOW WHAT THEY SELL?

FISHING TACKLE?

FUNNY BOY.

THE PRESIDENT IS DOING

SOME LAST-MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

AT A RARE-BOOKSTORE

AND HE WON'T LET ME SEND SOME PRESS ALONG.

TELL HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

SHEILA!

A COUPLE OF GUYS.

THIS IS A CHRISTMAS THING, MANDY.

WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE HAY OUT OF IT.

IT'S SUCH GOOD HAY. YOU COMING?

HOUR WITH YOU IN A RARE-BOOKSTORE?

COULDN'T YOU DROP ME OFF THE TOP

OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT INSTEAD?

IT'S CHRISTMAS, JOSH.

NO REASON WE CAN'T DO BOTH.

I SUPPOSE.

LET'S GO SHOPPING!

HEY, C.J....

HELLO, DANNY.

I SAW THE BLACK SUBURBAN IN BACK.

PRESIDENT'S SLIPPING AWAY?

SUDDENLY REALIZED HE FORGOT YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT.

HOW SWEET. YES.

SO, I PUT TOGETHER A LIST.

YEAH?

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GO OUT WITH ME.

REALLY? YES.

GIVE ME A FEW HOURS TO PUT TOGETHER

A LIST OF REASONS I SHOULDN'T.

THEN, WE'LL COMPARE THEM AND SEE WHERE WE ARE.

SOUNDS GOOD.

MY SECRET SERVICE CODE NAME IS "FLAMINGO."

NICE BIRD.

GO AWAY. OKAY.

HEY...

SAM...

YEAH?

WHAT DO YOU AND JOSH HAVE GOING ON TONIGHT?

NOTHING.

I JUST MEANT DID YOU WANT TO COME OVER FOR DINNER.

OH... YEAH.

WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT?

I'M GOING TO BERMUDA TONIGHT.

OKAY... YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU MEANT.

THEN, WHY DID YOU SAY, "NOTHING"

IF YOU'RE GOING TO BERMUDA TONIGHT?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW.

OKAY...

BUT THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION.

OKAY.

SAM... WHAT DO YOU AND JOSH HAVE GOING ON TONIGHT?

NOTHING.

OOH... THE FABLES OF PHAEDRUS... 1886...

FIRST EDITION, RED LEATHER LABEL

GILT LEATHERING, ENGRAVED FRONTIS.

PHAEDRUS, YOU KNOW, WHO WAS A SLAVE

BUT LATER GRANTED HIS FREEDOM BY AUGUSTUS

WROTE HIS ANIMAL FABLES IN IAMBIC VERSE.

WELL, NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS LIKE

ANIMAL FABLES IN IAMBIC VERSE.

THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

A FEW PHOTOGRAPHERS WOULD'VE KILLED HIM?

LET IT GO.

I'M JUST SAYING...

AH, HERE'S ONE. ONE WHAT?

A BOOK WHICH, IF I WAS STUCK WITH IT ON A DESERT ISLAND

I STILL WOULDN'T READ IT--

THE ADVENTURES OF JAMES CAPEN ADAMS

MOUNTAINEER AND GRIZZLY BEAR HUNTER

OF CALIFORNIA.

I BELIEVE I WOULD EAT THIS BOOK BEFORE I READ IT.

SO, YOU WON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND?

NO. I APPRECIATE IT, BUT...

YOU'RE GOING TO SIT AROUND

IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM BY YOURSELF?

I'VE GOT PLENTY TO DO IN THE OFFICE.

OH, SO, YOU'RE GOING TO WORK ON CHRISTMAS?

GOOD, THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.

LOOK... COME TO MANCHESTER.

STAY AT THE HOUSE.

OH, SO YOU CAN READ ALOUD

FROM THE FABLES OF PHAEDRUS?

I WASN'T PLANNING ON DOING THAT

BUT NOW THAT YOU SUGGEST IT...

I'LL BE FINE.

SUIT YOURSELF.

UH, MR. PRESIDENT...

YEAH?

WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM THE HOLIDAY

I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE TO START TALKING SERIOUSLY

ABOUT MY SITUATION.

I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT, BUT THAT DOESN'T...

IT'LL BE FINE.

THESE THINGS CAN GO AWAY BY THEMSELVES.

NO, THEY CAN'T, SIR, AND THEY USUALLY DON'T.

I'M GOING TO NEED AN EXIT STRATEGY

THAT'LL CAUSE THE LEAST EMBARRASSMENT AND TURMOIL

DURING THE MENDOZA CONFIRMATION...

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT AN EXIT STRATEGY.

SIR... I REALLY DON'T.

IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.

MR. PRESIDENT? YEAH?

IT'S TIME.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, ZOEY IS STARTING GEORGETOWN IN TWO WEEKS.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING THIS

FOR HER-- THE NATURE OF THINGS, A DIDASCALIC POEM

TRANSLATED FROM THE LATIN OF TITUS LUCRETIUS CARUS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK SHE WOULD LIKE THAT

BETTER THAN A NEW STEREO, SIR.

YEAH, 'CAUSE IT'S GOT BROWN MOROCCAN SPINE LABELS.

WHY NOT HEAD FOR THE CAR AND I'LL PAY?

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

THANK YOU ALL.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID BEFORE, RIGHT?

WHAT?

IN MY OFFICE THIS MORNING?

YEAH.

OKAY?

YEAH.

LIFE OF EPICURUS-- TWO VOLUMES.

LET'S GO.

EXCUSE ME...

UH...

EXCUSE ME.

I WAS WONDERING IF... BY ANY CHANCE

YOU KNOW A MAN NAMED WALTER HUFNAGLE.

WALTER?

YES. YOU'RE LOOKING

FOR WALTER?

I WASN'T LOOKING FOR HIM...

THAT'S HIS BROTHER DOWN THERE.

OH. THANK YOU.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THERE'S NO PROBLEM.

UH, HE'S... DOWN ON THE END?

YEAH. LISTEN...

HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.

I MEAN, HE'S ALL RIGHT AND EVERYTHING.

HE'S JUST A LITTLE SLOW.

THANKS.

EXCUSE ME.

MR. HUFNAGLE?

I'M GEORGE.

ARE YOU, UH, WALTER HUFNAGLE'S BROTHER?

YEAH.

I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME VERY BAD NEWS.

WALTER DIED LAST NIGHT.

AW, GEEZ.

IT WAS A VERY COLD... NIGHT.

YEAH. 'CAUSE OF THE NORTHEASTERLY WIND

OFF THE CHESAPEAKE.

EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

WALTER DIED.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M-I'M TOBY... I'M TOBY ZIEGLER.

UH...

WALTER WAS WEARING MY COAT

AND IT HAD MY BUSINESS CARD.

YOU WANT YOUR COAT BACK?

NO.

THE NORTHEASTERLY WIND OFF THE CHESAPEAKE.

GEORGE, DID YOU KNOW YOUR BROTHER FOUGHT IN KOREA?

OH, I'M SURE HE DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING.

NO, NO, UH, HE...

SOMETIMES PEOPLE START THINGS...

NO. UH...

HE WAS IN THE MARINES ABOUT 45 YEARS AGO.

YEAH...

I THINK I REMEMBER.

HE WAS GIVEN A MEDAL. YEAH?

IT'S CALLED THE PURPLE HEART.

IT'S FOR GETTING WOUNDED IN BATTLE.

HE WAS WOUNDED?

YEAH.

I GUESS HE WASN'T TOO GOOD AT IT, HUH?

NO, NO, UH...

A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE WOUNDED OR EVEN KILLED.

WERE YOU THERE?

NO. NO.

ANYWAY, I...

I WASN'T SURE IF ANYONE HAD, YOU KNOW, CONTACTED YOU.

I... I SLEPT OVER THERE AT THE SHELTER LAST NIGHT

BECAUSE OF THE...

NORTHEASTERLY WIND OFF THE CHESAPEAKE.

YEAH, IT WAS... IT WAS PRETTY COLD.

YEAH.

AND... I GUESS THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH BEDS FOR WALTER.

YEAH.

I'M SORRY.

GOOD NIGHT.

I-I'M SORRY.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

YOUR BROTHER IS ENTITLED

TO A PROPER FUNERAL WITH MOURNERS

AND I THINK HE DESERVES AN HONOR GUARD

AND YOU DON'T... YOU DON'T KNOW ME

BUT I'M AN IN... I'M AN INFLUENTIAL PERSON.

I'M A VERY... POWERFUL PERSON

AND I WOULD LIKE TO ARRANGE IT.

A FUNERAL?

ARE YOU GOING TO BE HERE TOMORROW? YEAH.

SO THAT IF I COME AND PICK YOU UP IN THE MORNING

AND THEN I'LL BRING YOU BACK...

I'LL MAKE SURE HE'S HERE. WILL YOU?

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

LET ME JUST, UH...

HERE. UH...

PLEASE, JUST-JUST TAKE IT.

NO, MAN, THAT'S ALL YOUR MONEY.

THAT'S OKAY. THANK YOU. YOU DON'T LIVE AROUND HERE.

YOU'LL NEED IT FOR THE BUS.

I'M FINE. THANKS. HERE, TAKE IT.

REALLY, I'M FINE.

YOU DON'T LIVE AROUND HERE.

THANK YOU.

"YOU'RE A REPORTER. I'M THE PRESS SECRETARY.

"IT'S AN UNAVOIDABLE CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

"IT WOULD HURT MY REPUTATION.

"IT WOULD HURT YOUR REPUTATION.

YOUR EDITORS WOULD..."

C.J.? YEAH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M READING YOU MY LIST.

YOU REALLY MADE A LIST?

DIDN'T YOU? SURE.

YOU DIDN'T MAKE A LIST? MADE A LIST.

YOU SAID YOU MADE A LIST.

I MADE A MENTAL LIST.

WELL, I MADE AN ACTUAL LIST.

I CAN SEE.

WHAT DID YOU COME IN HERE FOR?

TO GIVE YOU YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

YOU GAVE ME A GOLDFISH.

WHAT MORE COULD A GIRL POSSIBLY WANT?

GOLDFISH FOOD.

I'M GOING TO IGNORE YOUR LIST

'CAUSE I THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS.

ALSO, 'CAUSE I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU.

C.J.?

YEAH.

LEO'S HERE.

SEE YOU LATER.

HEY, DANNY. HEY, LEO.

THAT'S A NICE GOLDFISH.

ISN'T IT?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

YOU, TOO.

C.J....

I'M REBUFFING HIS ADVANCES, LEO.

WHATEVER. LISTEN, DIAL DOWN THE RHETORIC

ON HATE CRIMES, WOULD YOU?

YOU SAID FLOAT A TEST BALLOON.

FLOAT IT; DON'T SHOVE IT DOWN ANYONE'S THROAT.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY WE'RE GOING TO COME DOWN ON THIS.

THEY MADE HIM SAY "HAIL MARYS" AS THEY BEAT HIM TO DEATH.

THIS WAS A CRIME OF ENTERTAINMENT.

C.J.... BEYOND THE CRIME ITSELF

IS A MANIFESTATION OF RACISM OR SEXISM

OR ANTI-SEMITISM OR HOMOPHOBIA

THAT ARE ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG

OF A PATHOLOGY TROUBLING THIS COUNTRY.

I'M AWARE OF ALL OF THAT.

I'M JUST NOT SURE IT'S RIGHT TO LEGISLATE

AGAINST HOW SOMEONE THINKS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE AREN'T SURE, A LOT OF THEM WORK HERE

AND I'M TELLING YOU TO DIAL IT DOWN.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE PLANS YET?

FOR CHRISTMAS?

YEAH.

MY PLAN IS TO DO NOTHING.

YOU WANT ME TO COME COOK YOU SOMETHING?

WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOTHER?

I WAS JUST ASKING.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

( knocking )

HI. HI.

HI. THIS IS JOSH LYMAN.

HI. HI.

COME IN.

HI.

WELL, LIKE I SAID ON THE PHONE

I ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES, SO... RIGHT.

WE'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.

PLEASE.

RIGHT.

HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON:

A GUY WE WORK WITH

IS IN SOME TROUBLE.

WE BELIEVE A CONGRESSMAN

IS ABOUT TO EXPOSE SOMETHING ABOUT HIS PAST

THAT'S GOING TO BE DAMAGING TO HIM.

AND DOING WHAT YOU DO

IN THE UNIVERSE IN WHICH YOU DO IT, WE THOUGHT

MAYBE YOU COULD... I COULD GIVE YOU THE NAME

OF AN INFLUENTIAL REPUBLICAN WHO LIKES KINKY SEX

SO YOU COULD SCARE LILLIENFIELD INTO SHUTTING UP?

I NEVER SAID IT WAS LILLIENFIELD.

IS IT LILLIENFIELD?

YES.

THIS IS FOR REAL?

THIS ISN'T A JOKE OF SOME KIND?

IT'S FOR REAL.

THEN GET OUT

AND WE'LL PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED.

HEY...

HAVEN'T WE MET?

YES, WE HAVE.

WHERE?

WHITE HOUSE.

SHE CAME TO THE STATE DINNER WITH CARL EVERETT.

WHO RAISED

ABOUT $5 MILLION IN THE MIDWEST FOR BARTLET.

DID YOU THINK ONLY REPUBLICANS PAID FOR SEX?

LAURIE, THIS REALLY ISN'T...

WHAT, DID YOU GET THIS OUT OF A BOOK?

NO, IT WAS MY IDEA.

ARE YOU THE BRAINS OF THE OUTFIT?

YEAH, I AM, AND I GOT TO TELL YOU

I COULD CARE LESS

ABOUT YOUR INDIGNATION RIGHT NOW.

A MAN HAS LEFT HIMSELF OPEN TO THE KIND OF ATTACK

FROM WHICH MEN IN MY BUSINESS DO NOT RECOVER.

NOW, IF OUR TACTICS SEEM LESS THAN CIVILIZED

IT'S BECAUSE SO ARE OUR ATTACKERS.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE TAKING A CIVICS LESSON FROM A HOOKER!

JOSH! WE DON'T NEED YOUR COOPERATION, LAURIE.

WRITE A CHECK-- THE I.R.S. WORKS FOR ME.

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

JUST GIVE ME A NAME. DO YOU WANT MONEY?

I'LL GIVE YOU A NAME, HOP INTO THE SHOWER

AND YOU LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE NIGHTSTAND.

I DON'T THINK HE MEANT...

YES, HE DID!

NO, I DIDN'T.

IN FACT, I'M SORRY.

I APOLOGIZE.

THAT WAS... VERY RUDE.

WE WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED, LAURIE

BUT THIS PERSON MEANS A LOT TO US.

YOU'RE THE GOOD GUYS.

YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE IT.

YEAH.

I HAVE TO GET DRESSED NOW.

YEAH, BUT WE'RE NOT JUST TALKING

ABOUT BURNING A CROSS ON SOMEONE'S LAWN.

PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED.

AND PEOPLE GET PUNISHED

FOR COMMITTING THAT CRIME.

DO YOU ALSO WANT TO START PUNISHING THEM

FOR WHAT'S IN THEIR MIND

WHEN THEY COMMIT IT?

REALLY? YES.

YES.

WHO IS THIS?

ELIZABETH.

WHO'S ELIZABETH?

YOUR SISTER.

I'M SAYING

THIS ISN'T ABSTRACT THEORY.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO SAY

WE'RE PROTECTING PEOPLE'S CIVIL RIGHTS.

WE HAVE TO ACTUALLY DO IT.

PLUS, IT HAS THE ADDED BENEFIT OF BEING GOOD POLITICS.

SEE, NOW I'M LISTENING.

WE'LL GET INTO IT AFTER THE BREAK?

WE'LL GET INTO IT AFTER THE BREAK.

Josh: EXCUSE ME.

YES.

YOU WANTED TO SEE US?

OH, YES, VERY MUCH.

SHOULD I LEAVE?

AS QUICKLY

AS POSSIBLE.

YOU WENT AND DID IT?

WHAT?

EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED YOU NOT TO DO.

LEO...

YOU SAW SAM'S FRIEND?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

I HAD YOU TAILED.

YOU HAD US TAILED?

YES.

WHY?

ON THE OFF CHANCE

THAT YOU'RE AS STUPID AS YOU LOOK.

WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?

IT WAS... IT WAS MINE.

SAM WAS A RELUCTANT ACCOMPLICE.

YOU HAD US TAILED?

GET OVER IT.

SHE DIDN'T GIVE US ANYTHING.

I SHOULD HOPE NOT.

LEO... IT'S NOT WHAT WE DO, JOSH.

THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT STILL...

IT'S NOT WHAT WE DO.

YES, SIR.

YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE

TO THAT GIRL FOR EVEN ASKING.

I DID.

APOLOGIZE AGAIN.

YES, SIR.

LIKE, I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS

WITHOUT THE KEYSTONE COPS?

WE MEANT WELL.

THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN SOMETHING TO ME?

NO.

IT DOES.

I'M GLAD.

GO BACK TO WORK.

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

THE COUNTRY ISN'T OPEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE?

FAIR POINT.

LEO...

I KNOW.

IT'S GOING TO GET BAD BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.

I KNOW.

MARGARET!

LET'S GET

THIS OVER WITH.

I'M HERE CHRISTMAS.

OKAY.

Cregg: THERE'S BEEN NO CHANGE

IN THE PRESIDENT'S 10:00 A.M. DEPARTURE TIME

SO WE'RE STILL LOOKING AT ABOUT NOON.

THIS IS A HALF-DAY FOR US

SO I'M GOING TO MAKE IT A HALF-DAY FOR YOU, TOO.

THERE IS NO MORE NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.

THE LID IS ON.

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, TOO.

HEY, FISH BOY.

ANSWER ME THIS, AND WHEN YOU DO

BEAR IN MIND THERE'S A LOT RIDING ON IT.

YOUR ANSWER. ON WHAT?

WHAT'S RIDING ON IT?

A DATE WITH ME.

FIRE.

ISN'T IMPOSING ADDITIONAL PENALTIES

FOR HATE-MOTIVATED CRIMES A POWERFUL STATEMENT BY SOCIETY

AGAINST INTOLERANCE?

NO. A CRIME IS A CRIME.

ONE MURDER IS NO WORSE THAN ANOTHER.

THAT'S THE WRONG ANSWER.

PUNISHING PEOPLE FOR THEIR BELIEFS

IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

AND YOU AGREE WITH ME.

I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU.

OKAY.

TAKE ME OUT TONIGHT AND CONVINCE ME.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU HEARD ME.

I DIDN'T, BECAUSE

I WAS DISTRACTED BY A THING.

I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN.

THEN I'M GOING TO ASSUME

YOU ASKED ME OUT.

I DIDN'T ASK YOU OUT.

YOU ASKED ME OUT ABOUT 49 TIMES

AND I'M SAYING YES TO ONE OF THEM.

OKAY.

YOU UNDERSTAND WE'RE HAVING DINNER, RIGHT?

I UNDERSTAND.

WE'RE NOT HAVING A FLING.

I UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS A BUSINESS DINNER.

IN FACT, BRING YOUR NOTEBOOK.

OKAY.

MY SECRET SERVICE NAME IS "FLAMINGO."

THAT'S NICE.

I HAVE TO FEED MY FISH.

OKAY.

HEY, DANNY.

HEY, JOSH.

HOW'S IT GOING?

HARD TO SAY.

OKAY.

OKAY.

HEINRICH BRECKENGRUBER

ON THE ART AND ARTISTRY OF ALPINE SKIING.

IT'S GOT A MOLTED CALF COVER

AND ORIGINAL DRAB BOARDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I WROTE A NOTE INSIDE.

DON'T GET EMOTIONAL.

DONNA, DON'T GET...

YOU KNOW, TRY AND MAINTAIN SOME SORT OF...

YOU SEE?

YOU SPEND MOST

OF YOUR TIME BEING, YOU KNOW... YOU...

AND THEN YOU WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ME.

THANK YOU.

I MEANT IT.

SKIS WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU?

YEAH.

OKAY.

( crowd applauding )

HELLO.

WELCOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

GOOD MORNING.

WELCOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

GOOD MORNING, TOBY.

GOOD MORNING, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

THE PRESIDENT WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU.

I KNOW.

DID YOU USE HIS NAME TO ARRANGE A MILITARY FUNERAL

FOR A HOMELESS VETERAN?

YES.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT, TOBY.

I KNOW.

YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT.

I KNOW.

THE PRESIDENT'S IN THE MURAL ROOM.

THANK YOU.

( choir singing holiday music)

HOW WOULD IT BE IF I JUST MENTIONED...?

NO.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING ON YOUR OWN AT A BOOKSTORE?

DEAL WITH IT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. PRESIDENT.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, NANCY.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, NANCY.

YES. HI.

HOW YOU DOING?

I'M FINE, THANK YOU, SIR.

APPARENTLY, I'VE ARRANGED

FOR AN HONOR GUARD FOR SOMEBODY.

YES, SIR. I'M SORRY.

NO, NO. JUST TELL ME

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I'VE ARRANGED FOR?

WE'RE STILL IN NATO, RIGHT?

YES, SIR.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

A HOMELESS MAN DIED LAST NIGHT-- A KOREAN WAR VETERAN

WHO WAS WEARING A COAT I GAVE TO THE GOODWILL.

IT HAD MY CARD IN IT.

YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE...

IT TOOK AN HOUR AND 20 MINUTES

FOR THE AMBULANCE TO GET THERE.

A LANCE CORPORAL, UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS

SECOND OF THE SEVENTH.

I GOT BETTER TREATMENT AT PANMUNJOM.

TOBY, IF WE START PULLING STRINGS LIKE THIS

YOU DON'T THINK EVERY HOMELESS VETERAN

WILL COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK?

I CAN ONLY HOPE, SIR.

WHEN IS THIS THING?

I'M GOING TO PICK UP HIS BROTHER AND GO THERE NOW.

( knocking )

MR. PRESIDENT?

SIR, YOUR ABSENCE IN THE OTHER ROOM

IS CONSPICUOUS.

OKAY.

TOBY?

I'D LIKE TO COME ALONG.

( choir singing ): * PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* I AM A POOR BOY, TOO

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* I HAVE NO GIFT TO BRING

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* THAT'S FIT TO GIVE MY KING

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* SHALL I PLAY FOR YOU

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* ON MY DRUM?

* MARY NODDED

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* THE OX AND LAMB KEPT TIME

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* I PLAYED MY DRUM FOR HIM

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* I PLAYED MY BEST FOR HIM

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* THEN HE SMILED AT ME

* PA RUM PUM-PUM PUM

* ME AND MY DRUM

* RUM PUM-PUM PUM.