Original subtitles

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR OPENING)

Villanelle.

Finally.

(SIGHS)

That guy was really staring at me.

HELENE: This is Rhian.

(DOOR CREAKS SHUT)

VILLANELLE: Nice collection.

HELENE: What are you doing?

Working out how I'd kill you.

I thought killing wasn't really your thing at the moment.

You want to test that theory?

You're only as good as your last.

Go on, tell me.

How would you do it?

I don't know, yet.

(SOFTLY) But it would definitely involve the tiny chair.

Sit down.

Not on that one.

Show me.

Your injury.

Here.

(WINCES, GASPS SHARPLY)

(VILLANELLE EXHALES)

Do you know why I love you, Villanelle?

Because you're an agent of chaos.

And I love chaos.

Chaos disrupts.

It rips apart and starts again.

It's like a forest fire.

It burns. It clears.

It's monstrous, but it's beautiful.

You're a beautiful monster, Villanelle.

A monster?

Monstrous people like you often feel

like they have to fly solo.

Like they have to keep things bottled up inside them.

Thoughts. Feelings.

Secrets.

And that can affect their ability to be truly monstrous.

Do you have anything you would like to get off your chest, Villanelle?

Has something happened recently?

I did something bad to my mother.

Whatever it is, you can tell me.

I don't want us to keep secrets from each other.

(EXHALES)

I took a shit in her shoe when I was three.

A really big one.

Give me another job.

You're injured.

I'll take Dasha.

Okay. But success is essential.

Otherwise, what's the point of sending you and not Rhian?

Thank you for the inappropriate touching.

It was actually pretty nice.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You wouldn't be able to, by the way.

Wouldn't be able to what?

Kill me before I killed you.

You're a child.

You have no idea what you're dealing with.

God, you're sexy.

(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES)

♪ I don't like your little game

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

♪ Don't like your tilted stage

♪ I don't like you

♪ But I got smarter

♪ I got harder in the nick of time

♪ Honey, I rose up from the dead

♪ I do it all the time

♪ Look what you made me do

♪ Look what you just made me do

♪ What you made me do

♪ No, I don't like you ♪

Three trips to Waitrose, and an abortive attempt at hot yoga?

It's just standard white person stuff.

I've been tracking him for a week,

and there's nothing to suggest he's working for The Twelve.

Unless they've branched out into, er, groceries and hot Vinyasa.

Jokes are for people who do their jobs correctly, Mo.

So are omelettes.

Do you want me to make up evidence?

No. I want you to uncover the evidence that already exists,

which you haven't worked hard enough to expose.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I know you're upset about Kenny.

That we haven't found out what happened to him.

Your powers of deduction are incredible.

But are you sure Paul's a member of The Twelve?

A bottle of Chablis, a stir-fry kit and a bath bomb.

What does that say to you?

That he's planning a lovely evening in?

Or that he's trying to seem that he is.

Trust me, that vintage of Chablis is undrinkable.

Off you go.

(SIGHS) Another young person inspired?

Don't complain. I've saved you his omelette.

Villanelle has been promoted.

Dasha told me as much.

That should be our focus for now.

Oh, dear. You don't deserve it after all.

Villanelle is rising up the ranks.

She is our best chance of getting to them.

Oh, Eve, what a blinkered approach.

Do you ever think of anything else?

Don't pretend that I'm the only one.

You have your own thing going on with Villanelle.

For all I know, you have a direct line.

Isn't it time you told me?

What was it you said to her in that prison?

I offered her work and she refused.

Hmm.

Good for her.

Eve, I won't have my investigation derailed

by your undiagnosed,

and frankly, a little trying messiah complex.

Wow, wow! I'm the one with the Messiah complex?

Carolyn, why did we start this? Any of it?

Information. Intelligence gathering.

To compile a comprehensive Filofax of despots, maniacs,

and extremists, in case we want to throw a Christmas bash.

I mean, that's what we do, isn't it?

No. It might have been once, but not now.

Not after everything that's happened.

After everything we've lost.

Eve, you'd do well to remember,

heroes only get the girl in Hollywood.

(CELL DOOR BUZZING)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(DOOR BUZZES)

(CONTINUES IN RUSSIAN)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Is it over? Can we go now?

Your daughter is extremely bright.

(SIGHS) Believe me, it's a nightmare.

Getting told, "Go eat a dick," in Icelandic.

She's also manipulative.

Calculating.

Almost entirely lacking in empathy.

Like her mother.

When I ask her about the accident involving your ex-wife's partner,

she said she wished she could go back in time,

so she could reverse back over his body.

(LAUGHS)

Kid's imagination, huh, is wild.

This is not a joking matter.

Who is joking?

10% off your first massage at the Ritz-Carlton.

Great. The only straight pencil-pusher in Moscow.

What do you want?

You need to take Irina's symptoms seriously.

I do take them seriously.

Look at my face.

I take them very, extremely seriously.

Now, can you discharge her, please?

It's not in my power... You sign for her

and she walks, right? It would take us several weeks.

We have a holiday booked!

Do you want to sit down?

(BREATHES SHAKILY) No.

Your daughter isn't going anywhere for quite some time.

She's a very disturbed child.

(THUDDING)

EVE: Where is it?

I know you're in here somewhere!

Is this one of those moments we pretend never happened?

Ew, who recycles boxer shorts?

(CHUCKLES)

Will you help me? I don't know.

I mean, are you going to tell me why you're in the bin?

'Cause I don't want to enable a mental health crisis.

I'm looking for my birthday cake.

You know, I could just give you money for a croissant.

It might be easier? A bit more dignified?

I obviously don't want to eat it, Bear.

I'm... I'm trying to find the box it came in,

so I can see the bakery it was ordered from.

Right. Right. Got it.

Oh, my God! (GASPS)

I found it. (SIGHS IN RELIEF)

What's this really about, Eve?

Villanelle sent me that cake.

Oh, shit.

Jamie, what happened?

We got raided.

By who? Who raided us? The police.

They came with a warrant this morning.

Something about Official Secrets Act.

Something about obtaining data illegally. I don't know.

Colluding with foreign criminals in the dark web.

Do we do that? We don't not do that.

(DRAWER CLOSES)

Does this mean I'm out of a job?

Because this is the only place I've ever worked where

people don't talk about me behind my back.

Yeah, that's what you think.

(JAMIE SIGHS AND CLICKS TONGUE)

Honestly, I don't know what it means.

I just need a moment to process this.

No. No, you don't. We don't have time for this.

Bear, do you have your laptop?

Get it out. We've got work to do.

JAMIE: What are you gonna do?

Google "How to bring down a global crime syndicate"?

No. I'm gonna Google a bakery in North London.

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Bear, don't get involved, mate.

Why not?

It's not like I have a job anymore, so...

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

JAMIE: Well, I'm gonna start drinking.

(GIRL SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

This place is amazing.

Look what someone just gave me.

It's a shank made out of a toothbrush.

Don't take anything from anyone.

Don't make eye contact with anyone.

If someone tries to talk to you, walk away.

What are you doing? You're trying to talk to me.

Don't wander off.

There are children here who would kill you

and wear your skin as pashmina.

Oh, my God. Dad...

I know what you're trying to do.

Your performance is way over the top.

You're like up here when you need to be here.

You know, you should read some Stanislavski.

I'm not acting.

Exactly. You're over-acting.

You need to mobilise your subconscious.

Tone all this down a little. It's too much.

Listen to me. I am leaving you here.

No, you're trying to scare me.

Standard parent crap.

You're doing the whole, "If you don't stop running over your mother's boyfriends",

"look where you'll end up" schtick.

You're so transparent.

If you hadn't been so damn stupid,

we'd both be lying on a beach right now.

So you're actually leaving me here?

Just for a couple of days. Then I come back for you.

You're a liar.

I have to go to London and show my face.

I can't be here.

You're a liar.

Why are you making this difficult?

I don't think you understand the pressure I am under!

There are so many... Many balls in the air above my head,

and they're all made of napalm.

I see you in two days.

(SPEAKING ICELANDIC)

(IN ENGLISH) Bastard!

Yes, I'll hold.

I can't believe I'm still here

and not halfway to cirrhosis in a pub.

Er, you're here because you know she's brilliant.

Yes, I know technically, it's not legal to divulge customer's personal information,

but it's not like anyone would find out.

You think she's brilliant?

EVE: Maybe I should explain why this cake meant so much.

You see, not long ago, my husband was involved

in a serious accident, and it's...

Hold up. I've... I've got something here.

Thank God. I had no idea where I was going with that.

Yeah, coz pitchfork to the neck is such a cliche.

BEAR: So these are all the telephone orders made in the days

before the cake arrived.

And you can see the origin of the calls here.

London, London, London.

Hertfordshire, London, Essex, Reykjavik.

You know, I lost my virginity in Reykjavik.

Erm, what?

Nothing. Just surprised.

Surprised that it was in Reykjavik, or surprised that it happened?

Can we get back to it, please?

London. Barcelona... There. Stop there.

Dasha Duzran has been running Villanelle out of Barcelona.

That's got to be her.

(SIGHS) Erm...

What about recent activity on the card?

Can you get to that, Bear?

Not legally. Okay.

Do it anyway. (INHALES SHARPLY)

You can't get raided twice in a day.

It's a rule.

(JAMIE SIGHS)

Okay, looks like it was used just 20 minutes ago.

Where?

Aberdeen.

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

You look ridiculous.

It's my family tartan.

We agreed German.

Germans don't wear kilts.

Yeah. I changed my mind.

So, here we are.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

You ladies celebrating something?

Yes. No.

My promotion. We are hereon business.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

My mother has a funny sense of humour.

(CHUCKLING) Oh.

It's dementia.

Come on, Mother. Hurry up.

(LIFT DINGS)

(SIGHS)

(PRESSES BUTTON) AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.

(DOORS CLOSE)

You think you've won, because you've got your stinking promotion?

I was trying to be modest, but if you're going to force my hand...

You have not won. I have won.

I have done everything they asked me to do.

Ever since they first dumped you on me.

When you had little mosquito bites for breasts.

And now I get to go home.

(DASHA HUMS)

(LIFT STOPS, DINGS)

(WINCES IN PAIN) (PRESSES BUTTON)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.

You know what's waiting for you at home?

Vodka. Proper Russian Vodka. (CHUCKLES)

Indifference.

Do you think anyone in Russia cares about a bendy KGB crone?

Russia has vegans now. Did you know that?

You go into a restaurant, you ask for stroganoff,

they're going to laugh in your face.

So what? So what?

So what? I'm not interested in hero's welcome. No?

And if I want stroganoff, my son can make it for me.

Ha! You didn't know I had a son?

Or maybe I forgot to mention him?

I'm going to die with my feet up

and my hand held. Whereas you,

you have destroyed any home you've ever had.

And you're going to die alone.

Does your son have your halitosis?

(LAUGHS)

Well, you are funny. I'll give you that.

No, seriously.

Can I have his number?

(SNIFFS SHARPLY)

It's such an intoxicating scent.

(LIFT DINGS)

(BLOWS)

(LUGGAGE DRAGGING)

(KEYS JANGLING)

WOMAN: Hi. (SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

What is it with everyone hiding in the dark?

You want to send me to an early grave?

I'm so sorry. I...

I thought it would be a nice surprise.

There's no such thing as a nice surprise.

How do you get in?

Er, you left a key with your neighbour.

How stupid of me.

Er, here.

(SIGHS) Have some water. (SIGHS)

You look nice.

Oh.

I... I feel so stupid now. I...

I brought steak and wine. I thought we could have a proper dinner together,

but maybe I should go.

It's not a great time.

Yeah, I should go. I should...

I should never have, erm...

(STUTTERS)

I guess Mom's been extra difficult recently,

and I just wanted to get away for a night.

I think she's on the verge of discovering something big,

and you know how she is when she's got the bit between her teeth.

Anyway...

Stupid.

What kind of steak?

Er...

Filet mignon.

I do like fillet mignon.

You bastard! What?

I said I liked it.

Mum said you were trying to play me,

and I didn't believe her. (SIGHS)

Can we do this another time?

(SCOFFS) And let you disappear into the ether?

I won't disappear into the ether. (SIGHS)

Okay. I will disappear into the ether.

But you have to understand, it's not personal.

Not personal?

Shh. Inside voices.

I will make as much noise as I like!

Just once, I want to make a scene

and not be told to "be quiet" or to "pull myself together,"

or that I'm "being ridiculous." Fine.

Seeking out someone whose brother has just died,

taking advantage of their grief

when they're at their most vulnerable.

What kind of person does that?

(SIGHS) A shit.

I'm a shit. Okay?

I used you to spy on your mother.

Happy?

I hope you die.

That's very possible.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(SNIFFS) I am going to miss this.

Looking like a prophylactic that can't play golf?

Killing people.

That feeling you get the moment before you snuff out a life.

When you can see your own eyes reflected in dilated pupils.

When you can count the number of breaths they have left

on one hand.

ROKES: Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

(ROKES LAUGHS)

VILLANELLE: He's crying out to be killed.

Ugh.

I killed so many Americans in Cold War.

You can make giant, greasy tapestry out of them.

They were less fat then, but just so loud.

(ROKES YELLING IN EXCITEMENT)

(MAN LAUGHING)

ROKES: Whoo! Yeah!

ROKES: Oh, yeah. You can do it if you like.

Kill him?

One of us has to do it.

If it means so much to you, you can do it, hmm?

Look at it as my retirement present.

You have lost it, haven't you?

What? Yeah, you have lost it.

You want me to kill him because you are afraid

you won't be able to do it again.

Oh, boy. This is priceless.

I tell you one thing. I'm glad that they agreed

to send me home, before they realised

they had promoted a dud.

Get out of my way, please.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(SIGHS)

(INHALES)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Oops.

I got the train down to London a couple of years back.

Me and the wife are big fans of true crime walking tours, you see,

and if you want to get the most serial killer bang for your buck,

the capital is the only place to be.

You know, Jack The Ripper, Dennis Nilsen, John Christie.

We've done 'em all.

You ever tried one?

What? Oh, er... No, I don't think so.

Oh, you must. Sure, some people

have a problem with the glorification of the violence, etcetera,

but, me and the wife, we love it. (CHUCKLES)

Not in real life, you understand. No, no, no, no, no.

We're really very law-abiding... (PHONE LINE RINGING)

(CHUCKLES) I mean, I don't even kill spiders.

BEAR: Yup. Bear, am... Am I in the right place?

Erm...

Castle Stuart? Yeah.

Are you sure this is the last place the card was used? Positive.

(GOLFERS TALKING INDISTINCTLY) DASHA: Hey.

They're coming.

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

Hey. (MAN LAUGHING)

Hey!

Hi.

(SHOUTS) Hey! MAN 1: Who's that?

MAN 2: Pull over here.

Excuse me. Sir.

Will you help me get my ball?

My mother's feeling unsteady on her feet,

and we don't want to go into the woods alone.

Catch you later. Sure.

Deal's off. I'm doing this one.

(CHUCKLING) You know, some girls would stop themselves

asking for help from a man these days.

They do it as a matter of principle.

Uff! Not me.

I was brought up in a family where men were men'

and women were women, and women liked their men to be men.

Aye, that's how we did it.

Damn right. And that's why

I don't have a problem promoting women to my board.

Because your lack of know-how gives me

an excuse to feel heroic.

(LAUGHS HEARTILY)

I'm only joking. That's...

What do you say in this country?

"Don't get your knickers in a twist."

No, no, no. You got it in one.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've gone to hit the ball

and hit something else entirely.

(CHUCKLES)

It's just in here somewhere. Okay.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(UNLOVED PLAYING)

(VILLANELLE SIGHS) (ROKES SIGHS)

♪ I feel... ♪

Huh.

Oh, I think I see it.

It's just in that patch of ferns over there.

Allow me. Oh.

Isn't this wonderful, Mum?

The kind gentleman's getting the ball for us.

ROKES: It's playing hard to get.

Do they not have belts in America? VILLANELLE: Ugh.

Three...

Two...

One.

Here you go.

(GRUNTS)

(ROKES BREATHING HEAVILY)

ROKES: Oh, God!

(ROKES SHUDDERING)

Oh, my God.

Stuff that in your fanny pack and eat it!

Oh, my God! What are you waiting for?

Run!

♪ There is something about

♪ The way you are ♪

Oh, shit!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I don't care much for London, it must be said.

Too busy for my liking. Too dangerous.

I always feel safe around here.

How about you? How do you find our wee part of the world?

DRIVER: Jesus Christ! (BRAKES SCREECHING)

ROKES: Oh, my God! Let him in.

(SOBBING) Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, my God!

What happened?

There's a crazy woman on the loose. What does she look like?

Why? Why? How does that matter? What does she look like?

Pretty face. Pretty girl. Nice figure.

She was with her mom.

Her mother? Yes. She hit her mom

in the head with a golf club.

Okay, where was this? Where was this? What?

I don't know. Er... Sixteenth hole,

about half a mile that way. Okay. Get out.

What? Get out, get out, get out!

What is this vile country?

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Drive to the sixteenth hole. Now!

(WATCH YOUR BACK PLAYING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

♪ I'm stuck here

♪ No way out

♪ Back you can never go Back you can never go

♪ Back you can never go Back, no, no, no...

What took you so long?

You were supposed to be here hours ago.

I don't want to talk about it.

(EXHALES)

Where are we going?

To get my money.

♪ Back you can never go Back no, no, no

♪ No yawning

♪ Smile for me

♪ Back you can never go Back you can never go

♪ Back you can never go ♪

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Dasha?

(DASHA MOANS)

(DASHA CHUCKLES)

Where is she?

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

Yes. I can't... I can't hear you. Say it again.

He has lovely moustache.

Like Stalin.

(LAUGHING WEAKLY)

(I SEE DARKNESS PLAYING)

♪ This time what you don't hide

♪ I see darkness in you (WHEEZES)

(COUGHING)

(RIBS CRACKING)

♪ I see darkness in you (GROANS)

♪ I see darkness in you... (RIBS CRACKING)

(POLICE SIREN BLARING)

MO: Carolyn, it's me. Call me back when you get this.

I found the thing linking thingy to The Thingy.

You know, Paul to The Twelve.

Okay, I'm gonna make myself an omelette

to celebrate. Omelette, run a bath,

put a bath bomb in it.

♪ You flow by ♪ I see darkness in you ♪

The FSB wants to kill me.

The Twelve want to kill me.

Carolyn's daughter wants to kill me.

My ex-wife wants to kill me.

My daughter wants to kill me.

My ex-wife's new boyfriend would want to kill me

if he wasn't already dead.

Look where you're going, idiot.

That random guy now wants to kill me.

I thought you didn't want to talk about it. I don't.

Well, I'm hearing a lot of something that sounds like talking

(IMITATING SOBBING) for someone who doesn't want to talk about it.

I think I'm just really, really tired.

Ugh. Up your magnesium.

Maybe I shouldn't go. Are you serious?

Maybe I should just let them kill me.

Wow! Bring the mood down, why don't you?

What I'm going to do in Cuba, anyway?

I burn like that.

Well, read books on the beach.

Smoke cigars. Get your legs out.

Don't get murdered.

Wherever I go, someone wants to murder me.

I can run as far as I want, they will still come.

Ha! I probably deserve it.

You definitely deserve it.

This way you can get murdered in a cute Havana shirt.

Let's face it, Villanelle, I'm a prick.

And the only thing I am waiting for is another prick to...

Another prick to...

Shit!

Another prick to shit? What is that?

Are you faking it?

(THUDS)

Get up! Get up.

No! No, you can't die on me now.

(GRUNTS)

How do we get the money? Where's the money?

I don't want to die.

I'll come back for you. I promise.

But I need the money. My pocket.

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

I don't want to die.

Shut up.

I don't want you to die either.

I really don't.

(GROANING)

But you actually might. (WHIMPERS)

(EXHALES)

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA)

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: No, he just collapsed. WOMAN: Can anyone help?

I know him. MAN: Okay.

Konstantin. (RAPID BEEPING)

Has anyone called an ambulance?

MAN: They're on their way.

Konstantin... (INHALES WEAKLY)

Where is she?

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ I once ♪ Had a love

♪ Or did love have me?

(COUPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ It set me free

♪ It set me free ♪

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

Perfect place for a yoga mat.

(SIGHS) Geraldine.

I'm going to get a takeaway, and it's terribly un-cost-effective

for one person, so you're going to have to come in on it.

I don't know what kind of thing you find acceptable to eat nowadays,

but I'm sure that Hampstead will provide.

What's the matter with you? Nothing. What's the matter with you?

Nothing. You're ordering a takeaway.

Don't argue with me. We're celebrating.

A weasel that I thought was a weasel, turns out to be...

A weasel? Yeah. Well done.

I don't mind, er, anything vegetarian. Of course.

I'm going to order upstairs and I'm going to

run a bath while we're waiting.

That's the kind of self-care you're always advocating, isn't it?

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

CAROLYN: Hugh, this better be good. I'm about to have a bath.

(WATER RUNNING)

(TAP TURNS OFF)

Mum, the bath's overflowing.

Did you turn it off? Of course I turned it off.

There's two inches of water all over the floor.

(SIGHS) You're not really okay, are you?

Don't be ridiculous. I've had some disappointing news, that's all.

Nothing to get het up about.

Well, what was it? The news.

Can't say. His family haven't been informed yet.

Mum, did someone die?

(INHALES) Don't look so shocked, Geraldine.

It's not like Kenny.

He wasn't a member of the public.

He was fully briefed. He knew the risks.

It was Mo.

I fear the walls may be closing in on me.

It's starting to feel personal.

Why didn't you tell me?

You said it was nothing to get het up about.

How can you be so bloody calm?

What is wrong with you?

You're an emotional iceberg!

(SIGHING)

I'm sorry.

Er, I'm... I'm sorry.

Don't... Come at me like that.

I'm not coming at you. I'm trying to hug you.

Just don't. Mum.

I'm warning you, Geraldine.

What? This isn't healthy.

It can't go on. You can't just refuse to feel anything

for the rest of your life.

What kind of existence is that?

You... You have to find some way to express yourself!

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS) (GLASS SMASHING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) (VASE SMASHES)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(GLASS CRUNCHING)

Is that the kind of thing you were after?

DR BARRIE: We've put in a stent to unblock your artery.

But we'll need to look at some lifestyle changes.

Have you been under any increased stress lately?

(LAUGHS)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Mr Vasiliev. Yeah.

Heart attacks are associated

with greater levels of cortisol in the blood.

(LAUGHING)

Is there anything that's been bothering you?

(LAUGHING)

Mr Vasiliev. Yes.

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

(WOMAN CONTINUES LAUGHING)

♪ I see you, you see me

♪ But I see you and my heart stops

♪ You're looking right through me ♪

Jesus Christ.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

Hello? VILLANELLE: We have to stop

running into each other like that.

It's not good for both of us.

(DEMOLITION GIRL PLAYING)

♪ Demolition girl

♪ Demolition girl

♪ Demolition girl ♪

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)