Original subtitles

Together again

Gee, it's good to be together again

I just can't imagine That you've ever been gone

It's not starting over It's just going on

Together again

Now we're here And there's no need remembering when

'Cause no feeling feels Like that feeling

Together again

Gee, it's good to be together again

I just can't imagine That you've ever been gone

It's not starting over It's just going on

- Together again - Again

Now we're here And there's no need remembering when

'Cause no feeling feels Like that feeling

Together a...

Together again

Thank you.

- They like it. - They love it.

They're still applauding. Kermie, you have to go out and take a bow.

Kermit! Kermit! Kermit!

Go.

Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I really don't know what to say, except we're really glad...

...you liked Manhattan Melodies. We all worked hard...

...to make it the best Senior Variety Show ever.

Hey, Kermit. Next time we'll see you on Broadway.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

That's a great idea.

Why don't we take Manhattan Melodies to New York.

- What? - Yeah.

Broadway is dying to get a great musical like this.

Broadway?

Thanks, everybody, for having so much faith in us.

It's not often that a frog and a bear and a pig and a chicken...

...and a whatever even get accepted into college.

We're all so proud to be graduating now.

Some with honors...

Woman! Woman! Woman!

Woman!

And some with the help of daily psychological counseling.

Anyway, thank you again.

Thank you for everything, guys. Thank you. Yeah.

Back at you. Thank you.

- Broadway? - Yes, yes, yes.

But this show's not good enough for Broadway.

And the script needs a lot of work. I still think something's missing.

No. No, no, it's fine, Kermie. Really.

Remember you said we could not get married until we had enough money?

Yeah.

Well, we'd have enough if we had a hit on Broadway.

- Yeah. Right. - Yeah.

- Broadway of what city? - Gonzo.

What did I say? What did I say?

Well, even if the show was good enough, we're all just graduating.

What about our future plans?

- Well, this could be our future. - Yeah, yeah.

- That's right. - And if we don't do it...

...then we just say goodbye to each other.

Broadway! Broadway, Broadway!

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go to Broadway.

- Yeah! - Broadway!

New York.

Look at everything.

Well, we made it, guys. We're really here.

What a great-looking place.

And it's filled with New Yorkers. Look at them.

Isn't this great?

Well, we better dump our stuff and find a place to stay.

- Scooter, break out the quarters. - Yes, sir.

Stop that. You're getting the walls messed up.

- What do you think, guys? - What?

How do you like it?

Much better than that cement mixer I lived in.

I'll trade with anyone that has a Jacuzzi.

Come on, it's just for one day. We'll all be on Broadway tomorrow.

Yeah.

- We'd like to see Mr. Price. - Do you have an appointment?

No. But we've got this great show called Manhattan Melodies...

...that he'll wanna produce on Broadway.

It's about kids that come to New York to marry...

...and has a wonderful opening number. It goes like this. Hit it.

Hold it. Hold it.

What's going on out there?

Just a frog with a musical, Mr. Price.

- A musical? Send him in. - Okay, guys, let's go on in.

Net, I'm talking net.

You gotta be kidding with gross.

Nice upholstery.

Hold it a minute. I'll get back to you.

Mr. Price, I'm Kermit, and these are my friends. We've got a show...

...that you'll wanna produce on Broadway.

It's about kids that come to New York to marry...

...and it opens with a great number. It goes like this:

Look at me, here I am

Frog, frog. No singing, okay? Just give me the general idea.

- It's all about life in the big city. - In the big city, huh?

With cops, shootings, car chases, that kind of thing?

Well, no. No shooting stuff. It's more like songs and dances.

- Songs and dances? - Yeah.

That might be interesting.

Nobody cares about shootings anyway.

Are you thinking big-name stars?

Actually, we're gonna be the stars.

That's exactly what I was about to say. You be the stars.

Unknowns.

Songs, dances, shootings.

No. No shootings.

You know what?

I smell something.

- Why does everyone always blame dogs? - No, no. What I smell is a hit.

- A what? - A hit.

You mean...?

Absolutely.

I'd be proud to produce your show. Fellas, you're gonna be on Broadway.

Hey, Kermit, we did it. We did it. We did it.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Price. But I'd like you to read the script.

There's still something missing...

Don't worry. We fix those things in the previews.

I've gotta call the papers, rent a theater...

...and I need $300 from you.

Three hundred dollars?

Yeah. Apiece.

Apiece?

Today. Yeah.

What?

Fellas, that's standard Broadway procedure.

You give me money, we start rehearsals tomorrow.

- But we don't have... - Kermie, I don't think that's right.

Yeah. Now I smell something.

- Fellas... - Mr. Price?

There are two police officers outside. They'd like to speak to you.

That's him. That's Murray Plotsky.

I gave him my life savings.

Murray? I thought his name was Martin.

Let's go, Murray. You've pulled your last con job.

Guys, I don't want any trouble.

Get back. Get back or the chicken gets it.

- That's a threat? - Don't hurt her. Take me.

Whatever you say, pal.

Get away from that door. Move!

Let go of my nose.

Watch it.

You too.

Bad man.

Easy.

Bad man.

Bad man!

Bad man! Bad man!

Get that chicken off my ear!

Chicken... Chicken on my ear!

Bad man!

Get off!

Get him off my ear!

- Bad man. Bad man. - Way to go, everybody.

- Where were you when I needed you? - Murray.

Animals! You're crazy, all of you!

And I want my money back.

Gonzo, are you okay?

I just saw my whole life flash before my nose.

Camilla.

She's hyperventilating. She needs mouth-to-beak resuscitation.

Kermit, he never wanted our show. He just wanted our money.

Gonzo, is Camilla all right?

Yeah, but I think we're engaged.

Come on, we're gonna get this show on Broadway.

- Come on, yeah. Let's go, guys. - Let's go.

You can't take no for an answer

No, no, no

Whenever there's a dream Worth a-dreamin'

And you wanna see That dream come true

There'll be plenty people talkin' Say forget all about it

Say it isn't worth the trouble

All the trouble That you're goin' through

What can you do?

You can't take no for an answer

No, no, no

What you gonna do When the times get tough

And the world's treating you unkind?

You've gotta hang onto Your optimistic outlook

And keep possession Of your positive state of mind

You can't take no for an answer

No, no, no

This is turning out to be a little tougher than I thought.

Kermit, I'm not good at this. I don't take rejection well.

Maybe we'd sell the show with more special effects, like exploding socks.

- Oh, Gonzo. Like, that's a lame idea. - Oh, yeah?

- Stop yelling at her. - He wasn't yelling.

- Yes, I was. - Gonzo, don't make trouble.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

- Kermit, should we change the script? - Yeah, what should we do?

I don't know.

How should I know?

Why are you always asking me? Can't you take care of yourselves?

I don't know what to do next. We failed, okay?

We tried and we failed.

Scooter, how much money do we have left?

Enough for two nights, unless we find cheaper lockers.

Well, we have to eat.

- Why start now? - Gonzo.

Gangway. Coming through.

Hey, watch it, will you?

Hey, that waiter's a rat.

I'm glad we got no money. Now I ain't got no appetite.

One cheeseburger platter. What do you want to drink?

- A glass of milk. - Right.

I would like some meat in here.

Picky, picky. Hey, Pete. Where's the beef?

It's coming. It's coming. Got two hands only.

What'll you have?

The number for the Board of Health.

That does it!

Another rat crack, right? Well, I got feelings too.

Do you think I'm doing this as a hobby? Do you?

You wanna know what I make around here?

Nothing. Nothing.

I live on tips.

I work hard.

I try to get tips to feed my family and my mother.

It just isn't fair.

We understand. We don't have any money either.

Sorry. Not my table.

What a rat.

I'll get us something to eat.

Is patty coming. Is cow juice coming.

Rizzo, where's Jenny?

May I see a menu, please?

Is special today: Yankee bean soup...

...with spoon.

Sorry I'm late, Pop.

Hi, Fran. How are you?

It went longer than I thought.

But you will be so proud of me. I did great.

And it was all essay questions. No sweat. I know I passed.

Oh, Jenny, that's very good.

Is cow juice and patty for lady.

Rizzo, I'm back.

It's about time. I can't handle everybody.

You can take the weirdos at table four.

Which one do you think is table four?

I wonder if Kermie really meant it. I mean, about failing.

Those producers looked at us like we were from outer space.

What?

No, man, go back to sleep. Nobody's landed.

- We'll take 11 bowls, please. - Okey-dokey.

But there's just one thing.

We've got this great show that's gonna be a big hit on Broadway.

But... Well...

Well, right now, we're all broke.

You mean, you don't have any money at all?

Well, not really. No.

But we'd work it off. We promise.

- Waitress. - Coming.

Hey.

I tell you what is.

Big city.

Live, work, huh?

But, not city open.

Only peoples.

Peoples is peoples.

No is buildings.

Is tomatoes, huh?

Is peoples...

...is dancing, is music, is potatoes.

So peoples is peoples, okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. That helped a lot.

Where you going?

- Well, I... I was... - Aren't you gonna wait for your soup?

- But I told you, we don't have... - Yeah, I know, but I know my pop.

When he started out in this city, he didn't have anything either.

I bet he's back there getting soup bowls for everybody.

Really? With soup in them?

I gotta get back to work. I had a test today, so I came in late.

Yeah, I heard you passed the test.

I hope I passed. It's for acceptance into a fashion-design college.

Oh, yeah? Well, you know, we just graduated from college.

- Really? - Yeah.

My name's Jenny.

Hi, I'm Kermit.

Hi, Kermit. Nice to meet you.

I'm a frog.

No, no.

Listen, all I'm saying is maybe it's time we went out on our own.

You mean, out on our own alone? Without even each other even?

The frog's right. We do depend on him too much.

Yeah. He feels too responsible for us.

Man, he'd be better off if we left town.

I can't leave Kermit. We're still pinned.

I'm sorry I blew up outside.

But guess what? Pete's cooking up some soup for us.

Well, what's wrong?

It's just...

We've had some job offers. Right?

Yeah, yeah, right. Job offers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's great.

Well, these job offers are...

- They're kind of out-of-town. Right? - Yeah. Yeah.

- What job did I get? - Gonzo.

Piggy, are you going too?

Well, Kermie, I...

We go bye-bye?

Kermit, we'll all write to you and let you know where we are.

Yeah, and Kermit, we still believe in the show.

Aboard.

Saying goodbye Going away

Seems like goodbye's Such a hard thing to say

Touching a hand Wondering why

It's time for saying goodbye

Goodbye, Kermie.

Piggy.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Saying goodbye Why is it sad?

Makes us remember The good times we've had

Much more to say Foolish to try

It's time for saying goodbye

Don't want to leave But we both know

Sometimes it's better to go

Somehow I know We'll meet again

Not sure quite where And I don't know just when

You're in my heart So until then

It's time for saying goodbye

Somehow I know We'll meet again

Not sure quite where And I don't know just when

You're in my heart So until then

Wanna smile

Wanna cry

Saying goodbye

It's time for saying goodbye

Look at all those people out there.

Lots of people.

But my friends...

...my friends are all gone.

Well, I'm gonna get them back.

I'm gonna get them back.

Because the show's not dead as long as I believe in it.

And I'm gonna sell that show.

And we're all gonna be on Broadway.

You hear me, New York?

We're gonna be on Broadway.

Because I'm not giving up.

I'm still here and I'm staying. You hear that, New York?

I'm staying here!

The frog is staying!

- Hi, Jenny. - Kermit. Hi.

Rizzo, is bagel with schmeer and hominy grit ready.

Excuse me? Do you have some work here I could help you out with?

- Rizzo, is ready. - Part-time, so I can work on my show.

What is that stuff supposed to be?

Is grits. Grits. Hominy grits.

How should I know how many? Count them yourself.

What?

- Listen, Pete. - Wait, wait. Hey.

What is?

This whole morning like this. You complain.

You slow. You no take orders. You lazy rat, you.

Lazy rat? Okay, have it your way. See if I care.

I don't have to take this abuse. I quit.

Quit? You no can quit. Is breakfast crowd.

All right, don't beg. I'll stay. But I need some help.

Okay, guys, this is it. Don't blow it.

Pete, meet your new employees. Say hello to Tatooey.

- Masterson. - Hello.

- Chester. - Oh, I feel terrible.

And Yolanda.

What a crazy body.

Yeah. Pete, about that job. See, I was wondering...

Wait, wait, wait. Is no good.

Rats want job. Frog want job. What next? Penguins?

You have any jobs available?

No!

Well, excuse us for living.

Pop, everybody's waiting for food.

Listen, I can work nights.

Come on, Pete, give these guys a break, all right?

Gosh sake, I go crazy!

Okay. Okay, rats, you go to work.

Wait, wait, wait.

Listen. I tell you what is.

Is no work, is dancing...

...is cheese, is big shoes.

Okay?

Waitress!

All right, rats, you go to work.

So, like, you got a boyfriend, or what?

There's nothing else? I'll do anything. I'll sweep...

Pop, we could always use help in the kitchen.

These dishes need washing.

Oh, thanks, Pete. That's terrific. Oh, boy.

- Thanks a lot, Jenny. - Hey, no sweat.

So where are all your friends?

They had to leave.

Even your pig friend?

Yes, but I'm bringing her back.

I wrote the show, so when I sell it, I can bring them back.

I'm staying, and I'm getting our show on Broadway.

I really admire that.

I'm gonna do something special too, you know.

I mean, in fashion.

You know, maybe your fashion designing can help me now.

What do you mean?

I did some reading about Broadway producers and investors and agents...

...and I know what I have to do to sell our show.

I can use your help, because I have a three-part plan.

And the first part is...

...if you can't beat them, join them.

Hi, sweetheart. I just flew in from the Coast.

I love your hair. Don't ever touch it.

I got an appointment with, what's his name, your top theater agent.

- Leonard Winesop? - Yeah, Lennie. Lennie, right.

What office is he in again, doll?

He's in suite 1024, but I'll call and see...

No, that's okay, sweetheart. No need for that...

...because Lennie and I go way back. I'm talking way back.

Thanks, honey. You're too much. Far out. Right on.

Mr. Winesop?

Yeah.

A frog?

With an Afro?

Hi, Lennie. I just flew in from the Coast.

I love your office. Don't change a thing.

My private plane's double-parked, so I gotta run.

But I got this boffo, socko script for Broadway called Manhattan Melodies.

It's totally today, yet tremendously timeless. You get first look-see.

Have I ever lied to you?

I hear my beeper. I gotta split. Have your people call my people.

We'll take a meeting, all right?

And remember, boffo, Lennie. Socko, Lennie. Okay?

We'll have lunch. Ciao.

Jenny.

- Kermit. Hi. - Hi, Jenny.

Come here. Have a seat.

Were you a hit? They loved it, right? How'd the costume work?

The costume was great, but it's hard to tell how it went.

They're probably reading the script right now.

Hey, baby.

Baby.

Where you going, sweetheart?

Hello?

I said hello.

For the next part of my plan, I have to look older. I'll grow a mustache.

You'd look cute with a mustache.

You think so?

Piggy said that to me once too.

She's hot. Hot mama.

- Hot stuff. - Hey, baby.

- Looking good. - Purple and pretty. Pretty and purple.

Hey, baby.

Sweet thing. Sweet thing.

She must be really talented.

Oh, I think you're talented too.

You mean it?

Of course. I know you're gonna be a famous fashion designer someday.

Oh, Kermit, thank you for saying that.

Come on, baby, don't be rude.

Look here, now. Look here.

What was that?

It's just New York.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Wrightson.

I would suggest that it is neither prudent nor wise...

...to be a half-hour late from lunch, especially on your first day.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Eileen, sorry I'm late.

It's okay. Everything's been going wrong lately.

Get your new French perfume here, Quelle Différence.

Is something wrong? Can we talk?

- No. No, I'll be fine. I'll be just bien. - Sorry.

Get your Quelle Différence. It's French. It's feminine.

It'll help you grab one of those rotten, stinking men.

- Quelle Différence... - Piggy, please.

You were fine this morning. Did something happen at lunch?

My frog turned on me.

Yeah, I had some bad tuna myself.

I'm gonna fight for him though.

Eileen, do you think I'm pretty?

Of course you are. You're more than pretty.

Gorgeous?

Don't push it, Pig.

You're more than gorgeous, Piggy. You're unique.

But you know, you could use a little rouge.

Have a seat.

- What are you gonna do? - We'll fix you up.

- We'll make you look like a movie star. - Oh, yes.

Cheekbones. That's what you need.

Your face is round, no offense. I'll give you a complete makeup job.

When you walked in, I said, "She needs rouge."

Turn your face. Did you ever wear rouge?

- Yes. - Now you're gonna really wear rouge.

Kermit won't care.

Kermit, schmermit. Look at that. You look great.

It brings out your eyes. Know what you need?

- Eyebrows. - Pigs don't have eyebrows.

Well, this pig is going to.

And so is this.

I'm giving you big eye...

I think I overdid it. Take a look.

- You have it too. - I have them too.

- Do some more. - I'll give you doe eyes.

- What are doe eyes? - Bambi eyes.

- Let me see. - Doe eyes.

- Do some more. - Freckles. You need freckles for cutesy.

- Freckles. - Cutesy, cutesy, cutesy.

And I'll be cutesy with you.

You got it too.

You know what? Why don't you wear lipstick?

Pucker. Pucker.

This is just... You look fabulous. Look at you.

A little more on the cheeks. And a little more on my cheeks.

Powder puff for you.

And a powder puff for me.

Quelle Différence. The newest perfume...

You are fired.

What happened to those rats you had here?

A customer complained. They no like rats for waiters.

But is okay. I make them cook.

Hey, Pete. Here you go.

Two zeros on a trampoline with a side of Joan of Arcs.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, how's the coffee?

The coffee's fine. Come on in.

I said...

Kermit, when are you gonna start growing your mustache?

I stopped shaving three days ago. Didn't you notice?

Well...

Well, it's subtle.

I bet we could help it along with a little makeup.

Good, because I'm ready for the second part of my plan.

Hey, frog.

Mail come. Got mail for you.

Must be from the gang.

Now, Yolanda, chopping is an art.

You gotta be...

...smooth.

Oh, hey, it's from Scooter.

"Dear Kermit: How are you?

Have you sold the show yet?"

Have you heard from the gang?

I'm in Cleveland, and I have a terrific job.

I'm managing a huge movie house here.

Well, maybe not managing, but I do have a lot of responsibilities.

- Here are your glasses. To the left. - Hurry up, Mom.

Thank you.

And I'm meeting some interesting people.

The popping corn is...

...3D.

The corn is popping in your face, and it's 3D.

But, Chef, that's not how 3D works. Oh, never mind.

Here's your ticket.

Thanks. But, sir, your 3D glasses.

Sir, your glasses.

Sir, don't you want your 3D glasses?

Oh, I don't need them. I've seen this movie 97 times.

My name is Lew Zealand. I'm a boomerang fish-thrower.

I throw the fish away, and they come back to me.

Oh, here's my favorite part.

The fish are coming from the game room.

Oh, no. The killer fish are attacking.

Go get them, guys.

So life is great here in Ohio.

Love, Scooter.

Here's one from Fozzie.

"Dear Kermit:

- But seriously..." - But seriously, I'm in Maine.

My job didn't turn out too terrific...

...so I decided to hibernate.

Back to nature. I love it out here in the woods.

It's where a bear should be.

How do they do it?

I've been trying to sleep for days.

Anybody got some warm milk?

Oh, brother.

Hello.

I didn't know this cave was coed.

My name's Beth.

Hi, I'm Fozzie.

I can't sleep either.

Maybe if we snuggle...

Kermit.

Here's one more. It's from Dr. Teeth.

"Dear Kermit: How's the man?

We got this great gig here outside of Pittsburgh.

I tell you, frog...

...the band's wailing...

...the music's cooking.

The crowd here is also wailing and cooking.

Yeah, we're in hip city here."

They're all doing pretty well.

Yeah, they are.

But, you know, there are no letters from Gonzo or Rowlf...

...or Piggy.

Oh, I'm sure they've written.

Sometimes it just takes a while.

Yeah, sure. Piggy's probably busy with some kind of terrific job.

Yeah.

I guess they're all out there doing terrific.

If I could sell the show, everyone could come back...

...and we could do it together, like in the old days.

You'll do it, Kermit.

Well, thanks, Jenny.

That's been happening a lot lately.

I know.

It's New York.

I'm ready for the second part of my plan.

I'm gonna need your help, and the other rats too.

I think we could be making some overtime here.

- I need you to draw a picture of me. - Sure.

Okay, what's the scoop?

Have you ever heard of a whispering campaign?

- Good afternoon. - Kermit the Frog.

My reservation secretary made...

...a reservation for me.

Gesundheit.

This way, please.

Afternoon, all.

Don't get up. Keep eating.

May I take your coat?

No. That is...

...no, thank you very much, indeed.

That's the closest I wanna be to a frog.

- Okay, guys, do your stuff. - Right.

Okay, you start.

Say, isn't that that rich producer over there?

The one who's investing in Manhattan Melodies?

Yes. He's investing millions of dollars...

...in Manhattan Melodies.

What's that all about? Manhattan Melodies, what's that?

Isn't that Kermit the Frog, the bigtime producer, over there?

The producer's here.

A big producer, dear. There's a big producer over there.

It's the hottest thing coming to Broadway this season.

It's the best Broadway show of the year.

Hello.

Vincent? Vincent?

- Did I do something wrong? - No.

Vincent...

...a frog?

- Gee, that food smells good up there. - Yeah, I'm starving.

But this is all a misunderstanding.

Well, thanks a lot, you guys.

So what's the third part of your plan?

I don't think there's gonna be one.

I feel like I'm being a phony, and I can't take it anymore.

I don't know what to do next.

All right.

Moping time's over.

How about a little exercise?

I knew you wanted to.

Oh, dear Lord, not jogging.

Wow, it's such a beautiful day.

Yeah.

Give me a break.

- Come on, let's go this way. - Okay.

- Feel better? - Yeah.

Good. Exercise does the trick.

Yeah, stretch the old frog legs.

Oh, no.

My purse!

That does it.

Excuse me. May I borrow those a moment?

Piggy?

You creep.

- Get off. - Okay, buddy.

I don't even know how to skate. You know that?

- What's going on? - She stole my purse.

- What? - Good try, fella. Come on.

What? That'll teach you to mess with a lady. Understand?

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.

- Piggy. - Kermie?

Are you okay? What are you doing here?

Sightseeing.

But you're supposed to be out of town.

Yeah.

I do not wish to discuss it in present company.

Well, Piggy...

That's okay, Kermit. I'll see you back at Pete's.

Okay.

I'm glad you're not hurt, Miss Piggy.

Piggy.

Listen, what's going on?

Well, vous is certainly looking different now.

No gold chains, no shirt cut to the navel, no toupee.

What's with all this French stuff?

By sheer chance, I happened to learn French...

...and get a job interpreting at the UN.

What?

Can I get my skates back, please?

Just a second. How did you know about that toupee?

- None of your beeswax. - Have you been spying on me?

I'll unlace them while you fight. It's no trouble.

Piggy, have you been spying on me?

Maybe spying on vous and that certain young girl of the opposite gender.

- You two-timing her? - No, it's just Jenny. She's a friend.

She's trying to help me sell the show.

He's gotta sell the show. What show?

Well, if she is just a friend, then what about...

...the huggies? - What?

The huggies. You gave Jenny the huggies?

You know, maybe, Kermit...

...maybe it would've been better if we had never have met.

Then you and Jenny would not be tormented by my presence.

See what the huggies get you?

Jenny and I hugged because we're friends. That's what friends do.

Friends do not spy.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

- I spied because I care. - Well, I care too.

- Well, why don't you say so? - I just did!

All right!

Keep the skates.

I never use them anyway. I just like to run around in shorts.

Wait a minute.

Come on, Piggy.

Look, Waldorf. It's the frog and the pig.

- Yeah, it looks like they're in love. - Yeah.

Kind of makes you sick, doesn't it?

Hey, lovey-dovey!

Kermie, I'm sorry I yelled at you.

And I didn't mean it when I said...

...that it would have been better if we had never met.

In fact, I wish we'd met much sooner.

Kermie? Kermie?

Just imagine. Wouldn't it have been wonderful...

...if we'd known each other when we were little?

Imagine...

Little Kermie.

Little Piggy.

No matter what life may bring

No matter what I may do

Be sure of one special thing

I'm gonna always be loving you

Gonna be a movie star

And I'm gonna learn to drive a car

Gonna be a veterinarian too

And I'm gonna always love you

Hi, guys.

Hi, Fozzie.

- Hi, Kermit. - Hello.

I'll be the cutest model you ever saw

And then I think I'll study criminal law

And I'm gonna learn to scuba dive too

And I'm gonna always love you

Well, I'm gonna be a singer

And I'm gonna learn to fly a plane

I'll be a doctor of diseases I'll help you with your sneezes

And practice neurosurgery On your brain

Gonna climb the Matterhorn

But only after All our children are born

'Cause I want to be a good mommy too

And I'm gonna always love you

She's gonna be a movie star

And she's gonna learn to drive a car

She's gonna be a veterinarian too

And I'm gonna always love you

Well, she's gonna be a singer

And she's gonna learn to fly a plane

She'll be a doctor of diseases And help you with your sneezes

And practice neurosurgery On your brain

Gonna climb the Matterhorn

But only after All my children are born

'Cause I want to be a good mommy too

And I'm gonna always love you

Piggy, I think the ride is over.

Yeah.

- Bye, Jenny. See you tomorrow. - Yeah. Take care.

Well, here we are.

And it sure is nice that we're all together like this, isn't it?

Yeah.

Miss?

- Is customer. - Coming.

Excuse me. I will get it. After all, moi am a waitress.

Pete, thanks for giving Piggy a job.

Rats cooking, is frog washing, is pig waitress.

Is no coffee shop. Is zoo.

Yeah.

Hey, Kermit, come on.

What about the show? What are we gonna do next?

Oh, frog. Is mailman come with letters for you.

That must be more mail from the gang. Piggy.

I'll have two eggs, dry toast...

Pardonnez-moi, dear.

- Is something wrong? - Do you...?

Do you believe in interspecies dating?

I've gone out with some rats before, if that's what you mean.

- It's from Gonzo. - Great.

It goes, "Dear Kermit: I'm in Michigan."

Camilla and I have joined a traveling aquacade.

It's not Broadway, but I have met some good-looking chickens.

We put together this terrific act.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The incredible Gonzo.

Thank you.

And thank you.

Hey, you're a wonderful crowd.

And now, for today's climactic act...

...look yonder.

I will first make a death-defying leap...

...from the loop-de-loop ramp...

...spinning and hurtling my body through the flaming circle of doom...

...and landing comfortably on the imitation-leather easy chair...

...while my chickens do their impression of Tony Bennett...

...singing the "William Tell Overture."

Please. I must have silence.

Are you ready?

Thank you, Margaret.

Hit it, girls.

Here we go.

Oh, wait, I can't see.

I forgot my skis.

Don't sound like Tony Bennett to me.

"So everything's going swimmingly. Love, Gonzo."

Hey, here's one from Rowlf.

"Dear Kermit: How's the Frog?

I'm in Delaware, and I found a terrific job in management.

I'm surrounded by friends, and I love what I'm doing."

I am Mr. Skeffington. One of my secretaries made...

...a reservation for the weekend in the name of Snookums.

Oh, yeah.

This is Snookums.

Daddy wants his little Snookie-ookums...

...to be especially good this weekend while Daddy is gone...

...or he'll be very angry.

Don't worry. We'll take good care of her.

Him.

- We'll take good care of him. - Snookums is a him.

Snookums gets breakfast at 8 a.m. Exactly.

- Breakfast is quiche. - Yes, sir.

Aren't you gonna write it down?

Photographic memory.

Write it down.

"Dog gets quiche at 8."

Whatever that is.

Marvin, put him on the desk.

Do you have any toys around here?

What kind of toys would you like, sir?

Doggy toys.

Rubber balls. Rubber fire hydrants. Rubber newspapers.

Snookums prefers rubber Wall Street Journal to the rubber Washington Post.

Don't we all?

Write it down.

Yeah, rubber Wall Street Journal.

Now, while Daddy is gone...

...little lumpy-dum-dums won't have his daddy...

...to give him washy-scrubby.

Very impressive. You speak Chinese like a native.

Now, shake hands.

- Beg your pardon? - Shake. Shake.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Good boy. Now, sit.

Yes, sir.

Stay. Stay.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

Stay.

That was the most humiliating experience of my life.

Hey, Snookie. Hey, look at little Snookie-ookums.

Snookie-wookums want his little boney-woney?

Little binky-booter.

Hey, squishy bottom.

Hey, lay off him, will you?

Rowlf, come on, let us out of here.

- We wanna go home. - Yeah, Rowlf, we wanna go home.

Let us out. Let us go home.

Yeah, me too.

"Love, from Rowlf."

They're all doing terrific, aren't they?

Kermit, here's one more. "Dear Mr. Kermit the Frog:

I would be interested in talking with you about...

...your musical, Manhattan Melodies."

"Come to my office at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely, Bernard Crawford, Producer."

I've heard of him. He's a bigtime Broadway producer.

- Really? - Yeah.

Maybe he wants you to sign a contract.

I better get over there right away.

Oh, Kermit. Remember, just act confident...

...like you know the show is gonna kill them.

Right. Thanks, Jenny.

Goodbye, Piggy.

- Call us and tell us what happens. - Okay.

Hey, watch it.

I'm sorry. I have to get a contract, so I can go out and kill them.

No.

May I help you?

I'm looking for Mr. Crawford.

- Are you Kermit the Frog? - Yeah.

I'm... I'm Mr. Crawford.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

The office boy is out getting lunch.

You know kids nowadays, always eating lunch.

- Well, you wanna go in your office... - No. No, actually...

Why don't we just have a seat over there for a minute, okay?

Oh, sure. Yeah.

You're very young to be a producer.

You noticed that, huh?

I started out when I was very...

Yeah.

Look, can I tell you the truth?

The thing is that I'm not Bernard Crawford. I'm Ronnie Crawford.

I signed my dad's name. I didn't think you'd come otherwise.

But I wanna produce your show on Broadway.

- You do? - Yeah. Yeah, I love it.

It is so different.

It's perfect for my first production. My dad and I have this agreement.

Ronnie.

I'm coming up the stairs, and I want my lunch.

That's my dad.

Ronnie.

- Now. - Dad, I got great news.

If you two are in love, I don't wanna hear.

You promised I could have one chance to become a Broadway producer...

...and that you'd get the sets, lights and scenery and everything.

I wanna take that chance right now.

Kermit has written a wonderful musical called Manhattan Melodies...

...and I wanna produce it.

- When do we hear the great news? - Dad.

All right, all right, all right.

Tell me, Mr. Author, what is this musical? All dancing, all croaking?

It needs a little work, because something's still missing.

The two leads marry, and there's this song:

Look at me, here I am...

Hold it. Hold it.

I'm allergic to amphibians singing.

Who's gonna be starring in this masterpiece?

Well, it's just me and my friends.

You know, they're all dogs and bears and chickens and stuff.

I told you, I wanna do something different.

So put some Jell-O down your pants.

Come here. Don't you realize it might be against the law...

...having a chicken dancing onstage? - What...?

You're gonna go back on your promise?

I didn't say anything of the kind. I'll do everything I said I would.

Just because this is ridiculous doesn't mean it won't work.

All right.

- When I started in show business... - Thank you, Dad.

Yeah, thanks, Dad.

- See you later. - Yeah.

I gotta tell the whole gang.

- Hello, Pete's. - Jenny?

- Kermit? - Yeah.

- What happened? - Kermit?

We sold the show. The producer wants to put it on Broadway.

- Really? - What?

The producer said he's gonna put the show on Broadway.

Tell Piggy she's gonna be a star.

And, Jenny? I'd like you to do the costumes.

- Kermit, thanks. - Kermit, Kermit. Kermie?

Now that we'll be on Broadway...

...remember what you promised about getting married?

Not now. We gotta write the gang and get them back.

I'll be at Pete's in 10 minutes, okay? We did it.

We did it.

Together again

Pete, are you sure that Kermit wasn't at the bus terminal?

No, he's no there. Is better wait.

Come, sit down.

But Kermit said he'd be here in 10 minutes. He's never been gone like this.

Listen. I tell you what is.

Peoples is peoples.

Is frog gone? Yes.

Is peoples worrying, is peoples looking...

...is no come.

But is peoples working, is water boiling...

...is come. Yeah.

Peoples is peoples.

Piggy?

Piggy, I'm sure Kermit's all right.

Well, I bet he just got so excited about the show...

...he lost track of time. - No. No, he's missing. I know it.

Piggy.

Aren't you excited?

I mean, just think, you're gonna be on Broadway in a few months.

Two weeks.

The show opens in two weeks.

Hey, place is closed.

I'm Ronnie Crawford, I'm producing Kermit's show.

Well, we're Kermit's friends.

- I'm Jenny. - I'm her father.

The show opens in two weeks?

Well, my dad said tha...

I'm letting my dad help out with the show.

He said that we could have the sets, props and costumes, everything...

...but the show has to open in two weeks.

Did you just say Kermit is missing?

The writer and the star of my show is missing...

...and we open in two weeks? - No sweat. Come, Piggy. We'll find him.

Wait. We gotta get his friends here, those bears and chickens and things.

Right. Could you send telegrams to Kermit's friends?

- Oh, please? - Okey-dokey.

- Let's go. - Great. Come on.

Is no sweat. I write good.

"Dear bears and chickens and things:

Is New York.

Is play.

Is time."

Kermit needs me.

Beth, Beth, Beth. Wake up.

Hey, I'm going to New York City to be on Broadway.

- I'm up. I'm up. Is it spring? - All right. I'm up. I'm up. I'm up.

Hey, guys. We're going to New York.

Hey, girls. We're going to New York.

We're going to New York.

Yeah! Yeah! Right, right, right!

New York City. Oh, boy!

Good morning.

I see we've had our breakfast, haven't we?

Hi, doctor.

Well, how's our amnesia patient this morning?

I don't know. I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

I tell you what. If I may...

...I'd like to check your reflexes once again today.

Just take a second.

A little slow and confused.

But that's to be expected, because, as you know, you have amnesia.

I'm gonna check to see that there are no physical injuries one last time.

Tickle?

Now this might hurt just for a minute.

But it'll be over soon.

Adequate musculoskeleton response.

Now, I want you to take a deep breath. This will hurt.

All right. No rotator-cuff dislocation.

Now let's try the mandible.

Peachy.

No doubt about it. You have amnesia.

The problem is, you were found with no identification, and oddly enough...

...wearing no clothing.

So I did some research into the major nudist colonies in the area...

...and I think I've come up with something.

You are Mr. Enrico Tortellini of Passaic, New Jersey.

Well, I really don't feel Italian.

It was just a long shot.

Mr. X, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your case is hopeless.

Why don't you find a job, make a new life for yourself.

And what we can do for you is give you a nice, clean set of clothes...

...wish you good luck.

Thank you, doc.

Hey, everybody. Listen, everyone. Listen. Listen.

- So I said, "Look, buddy, I don't take my clothes off for anyone...

...even if it is artistic."

Janice, everybody, please. I'm glad to see you too.

But I've been trying to tell you that Kermit is gone. He's disappeared.

- What? - Kermit disappeared?

- Excuse me. - Yes?

I'm looking for the Gordon Employment Agency.

That's one floor down.

Oh, I see. Thank you.

Wait a minute.

Hold it. What's your name?

"Fill."

Fill up. Philip. Phil.

Philip Phil? Catchy name.

Phil, I'm Bill and this is Gil.

Phil, I'm Gil and this is Jill.

Phil, I'm Jill. You know Gil and Bill.

Pleased to meet you.

Step into our office. We're looking for the opinion...

...of the common, ordinary frog on the street.

You see, Phil, we're in the ad game.

What do you advertise?

Ocean Breeze Soap.

I never heard of that.

We know.

The truth is, Phil, our jobs are on the line.

- Oh, here, sit down. - Oh, yes.

We've been working on a new slogan. Tell us if you like it.

"Ocean Breeze Soap. For people who don't want to stink."

What do you think?

Be frank, Phil.

I don't like it.

You don't?

How about: "Ocean Breeze Soap. It's just like taking an ocean cruise...

...only there's no boat, and you don't go anywhere."

Seems a bit long.

Have you tried something simple like:

"Ocean Breeze Soap will get you clean."

Wait a minute. Wait just a second.

You mean just say what the product does?

Why, no one's ever tried that.

Well, it's crazy.

Why, it's nuts.

- We love it. - Thank you, Phil.

If we can ever do something for you, let us know.

Well, I kind of need a job.

Phil, you've got one right here.

We can always use a frog with horse sense.

Yes, welcome aboard, Phil.

You are with us now.

Waldorf, they finally made it to Broadway.

- Yep. And I already got tickets. - Are they good seats?

They sure are. They're for the next train out of town.

So now the show opens in just one week.

The publicity's started, and tickets are selling.

We'll have to rehearse day and night to get ready...

...and we have got to find Kermit.

Who is this guy?

He's Ronnie Crawford. He's producing the show.

Who's she?

She's Jenny. She's a friend of Kermit's, and mine.

What are we standing around here for? We gotta find Kermit.

- Let's go. - Yeah.

Go. Go. Go.

Kermie!

Kermit! Kermit!

Kermit!

Have you seen a frog?

- With our revolutionary new slogan: "Ocean Breeze will get you..."

Kermit?

Kermit!

- Kermit! - Kermit!

Kermit!

Yeah? Great.

Kermit! Kermit!

- Kermit! - Kermit!

- Rowlf, Rowlf. - Oh, Fozz...

- Kermit! - Kermit!

Kermit!

- Mr. Mayor. It's an emergency. - Hold it, everybody.

I'm looking for a singing, dancing frog.

If he can also balance the budget, I'll hire him.

- Kermit! - Kermit!

Wow. I thought opening night was supposed to be exciting.

Yeah. But not without our little green buddy.

Maybe we should just cancel.

No. It is opening night tonight...

...and the show must go on.

Kermit would want it that way.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

That was a great presentation you made this morning, Jill.

- Well, thanks to Phil's flow chart. - Thank you, Jill.

Hey, how about a new place for lunch today?

- Okay. - Okay.

This time I'll take the bill, Gil.

Oh, good. Something from the grill, Jill?

No. Meat makes me ill, Gil.

We'd better go to the theater now and get ready.

Yeah.

Together again

Kermit?

Just a couple of frogs.

- No. It's Kermit. - What? Kermit?

Kermie!

It's Kermit.

Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!

- It's Kermit. - How you doing?

My, what friendly service.

IWhere were you? We were all so worried.

- Yeah. - Where were you?

I believe there must be some sort of mistake.

Hey, Phil, since you know the waiters, why don't you order for us.

Phil? What does he mean, "Phil"?

- Kermit, what's wrong? - Are you speaking to me?

There's nothing wrong. And I will have the tuna melt, please.

Like, you don't know us?

- Well, I'm afraid not. Should I? - What do you mean should you?

We have a show to put on. Your show, and it's opening tonight.

Yeah.

Seeing a show would be a pleasant way to spend time...

...but I do have marketing data to review.

He really doesn't remember us.

- We have to get him to the theater. - Yeah.

Kermit, this is for your own good. Grab him.

Where are you taking me?

Hey. They must not get a lot of repeat business here.

So the grizzly bear, he walks out of the room.

The panda bear is sitting there. He thinks to himself, "This is odd."

And then the phone rings. You know who it is? It's the polar bear.

And the polar bear, he says to the panda bear:

"I didn't know it was a koala bear."

Get it? Koala. Wocka-wocka.

This is all very amusing, but I have to go now.

No, wait.

He doesn't remember.

It's no use. We've been trying for hours.

There's nothing left to do. We have to go on without him.

Kermit, please! We need you! Come back to us!

Look, maybe you do know me, but I really don't remember you.

I wish I did.

You'd better take your places.

Piggy, what are we gonna do?

Look at me. You are not Phil.

You are Kermit the Frog.

That's Gonzo. That's Fozzie. That's Rowlf and Scooter.

And they're your friends.

You wrote this show for them. That's Ronnie and Jenny.

And I'm Piggy. Now, listen carefully.

You are Kermit the Frog...

...and you love me.

You want to marry me.

- You want to have children with me. - With you?

In love with a pig?

Oh, wait till I tell the guys in Marketing.

Maybe you expect me to go hog-wild?

Maybe, perhaps, you could bring home the bacon?

Oh, the sounds of love.

Cancel the show!

Piggy?

Fozzie?

Where am I, anyway?

- Kermit! - Kermit!

Are you all right?

- What's going on? - You're going on.

- It's Broadway. You made it. - Yeah. Right.

No, the script isn't ready. There's still something missing.

- No, it's terrific. - We gotta tell everybody Kermit's okay.

Do you remember the opening number?

You mean...

Look at me

Here I am

Right where I belong

I see that face comin' back to me

Like an old familiar song

What better place could anyone be?

'Cause you're here with me

It's all I've been lookin' for And so much more

And now I'm here Now you're here

Nothing can go wrong 'cause I am

Right where I belong

Here we go.

Hi, guys. Kermit, could our friends watch the show from backstage?

- Could they? Could they? - Phil...

Wait a minute. No.

No, they cannot watch the show from backstage.

That's it. That's what's missing from the show. That's what we need.

More frogs and dogs and bears and chickens and whatever.

You're not gonna watch the show, you'll be in the show. Come on, everybody.

Yeah!

Look at us, here we are

Right where we belong

The curtain's up And the lights are bright

And they're playing our old song

What better place could anyone be?

'Cause you're here with me

So everyone, here we go Let's start the show

Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married?

Hey, somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married?

Somebody's getting married

- Somebody's getting - Somebody's getting

Somebody, somebody, somebody

Somebody, somebody Somebody, somebody

Somebody

Somebody get some flowers Somebody get a ring

Somebody get a chapel And a choir to sing

Somebody get an organ to play

'Cause somebody's Getting married today

Somebody get a preacher Somebody bake a cake

Somebody get some shoes and rice And presents to take

Somebody get a sweet negligee

'Cause somebody's Getting married today

Wedding, wedding Pig and Froggy wedding

Somebody get champagne Somebody rent a room

Somebody get the lovely bride And somebody get the...

Somebody, somebody Somebody, somebody

Somebody get this wedding under way

'Cause somebody's Getting married today

Somebody's getting married

Today

Are they here yet? Are they here yet?

Did I miss it? Am I late?

No, they'll be here any minute

Oh, boy, me can hardly wait

- Isn't this exciting? - It's the wedding of the year

Look, can't we start without them?

No, you can't until they're here

They're finally getting married

Now

He'll make me happy

Each time I see him

He'll be the reason

My heart can sing

He'll stand beside me

And I'll have everything

She'll make me happy

Each time I hold her

And I will follow

Where my heart may lead

And she'll be all I ever need

Days go passing into years

Years go passing day by day

She'll make him happy

Now and forever

Until forever

Their love will grow

She only knows

He'll make her happy

That's all she needs to know

They'll be so happy

Now and forever

Until forever, their love will grow

I only know

He'll make me happy

That's all I need

To know

Piggy, I thought Gonzo was gonna play the minister.

Do you, Piggy, take this frog to be Your lawful wedded husband?

Do you?

I do

Do you, Froggy, take this pig To be your lawful wedded wife

Until you die?

Well, I...

Do you?

I do

Then because you share a love so big

I now pronounce you

Frog and pig

They got married!

What better way could anything end?

Hand in hand with a friend