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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,037 Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to direct 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,072 your attention to the screen in front of you. 3 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:09,608 We'll be showing a brief safety demonstration. 4 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,678 While boarding the flight please keep the aisle clear 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,080 - and find your designated seat. - Argh! 6 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,316 In the event of a water landing Chloe Bridges lips 7 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,119 can be used as a flotation device. 8 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,621 Please enjoy one complementary drink. 9 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,126 Please store your carry on in one of 10 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,761 the overhead compartments. 11 00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:31,030 If you need to flee the aircraft beware of sharp objects 12 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,632 as they can puncture the evacuation slide. 13 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,534 We ask that all seat backs and titty tassels 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,503 are in their full upright positions. 15 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,372 If you have to smoke, please disable the lavatory smoke detectors 16 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,474 so as not to wake the other passengers. 17 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,378 The flight attendants will now demonstrate proper safety procedures. 18 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,580 Pull the cord to inflate the safety chest. 19 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,750 As a reminder racial profiling is strictly tolerated, 20 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,686 please report any suspicious ethnicity. 21 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:58,424 If you do not have a selfie stick, one will be provided for you. 22 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,793 Please keep your seat belts fastened at all times 23 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:04,096 as we may experience unexpected flatulence. 24 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,632 As a reminder there is no crying allowed on this flight, 25 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:11,403 please silence your baby at this time or it will be checked to your final destination. 26 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,678 Thank you for choosing Koalair, koality you can trust. 27 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,182 At this time your portable electronic devices must be set... 28 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,704 ...to airplane mode. 29 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,368 You're on the other side of the world, 30 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,237 how can we possibly make this work? 31 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,538 Let's just make things simple 32 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,440 like when we first met on Chatroulette. 33 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,476 When we first connected, fell in love, 34 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,845 and the sparks flew when I asked you those deep, 35 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:55,747 personal questions like, what were those? Oh yeah, 36 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,117 - age, sex, location? - Yeah. 37 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,220 Hey Logan, I'm ready to take this to the next level. 38 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,457 Oh yes, here we go. 39 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,828 Come on, old friend. 40 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,797 Who are you talking to? 41 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,665 Just a second freshening up. 42 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:21,173 Okay, okay, babe, now these are for your eyes only. 43 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,842 Yeah, don't worry babe, it's just me. 44 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,215 Do you have any almond milk? 45 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,719 Uh... you were jerking off. 46 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:37,523 Come on man! You shouldn't just burst into people's rooms like that. 47 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,391 And you shouldn't be jerking off in the middle of the day 48 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,894 with your door unlocked and all your friends downstairs. 49 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,263 Now, do you have almond milk or not? 50 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,499 Come on man, it's next to my socks, you know that. 51 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,767 Yo we're drinking up. 52 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,772 Sorry about that babe. 53 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,741 Okay. 54 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,645 - Who was that? - Oh. 55 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,314 That would be Juanpa, my foreign exchange brother 56 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,416 who's overstayed his welcome by a decade! 57 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,186 What about your real brother, Jake? 58 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,453 Oh. 59 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,889 Disney got him. Okay. 60 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:14,459 - Argh. The moment's ruined babe, don't you think? - No, no babe, um... 61 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,562 Okay, just, okay... How about this? Take a deep breath. 62 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,830 Asasasa! 63 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,767 Okay close your eyes, close your eyes, that's right okay. Now... 64 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:26,471 Imagine our second date, remember all the sexy shit I was typing to you? 65 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,373 I sent you that sexy picture with the pineapple 66 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,210 over my penis and I blamed it on auto correct. 67 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,278 - Yeah. - It wasn't auto correct. 68 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,380 - I said it. - Okay, okay. 69 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:40,285 My turn, imagine we're together... alone. 70 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,955 I'm standing right next to you. 71 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,857 you can feel my body on yours 72 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:49,261 - and I whisper in your ear... - Smile, you're on camera! 73 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,383 Lele, what the actual fuck? 74 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,865 This is gonna be the best video ever! 75 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,334 Delete that now! 76 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,868 No, it's gonna get a million likes. 77 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,303 It's not all about likes you know. 78 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,700 What, are you fucking stupid? 79 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:18,323 Delete, delete, delete it, Lele, delete it! 80 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,992 Logan, are you all right? 81 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,436 Suck it, bitch! 82 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,648 - Delete. - I hate you! 83 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,050 - I hate you. - You're girlfriend's a computer! 84 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,386 Jesus. 85 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,388 Oh my god. 86 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,624 Thanks buddy. 87 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,961 Sorry about that, babe. 88 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,964 Oh man can't get any privacy around here. 89 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,634 - Okay. - Hey Logan, you seen the email? 90 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,870 What! Ow! Ah! 91 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:09,441 - I'll talk to you later, Logan. - No, no, no, no, no. 92 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,911 Fuck, man. I was getting somewhere. 93 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:15,781 Bro what are you... what are you in here doing man, I worry about you. 94 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,517 That's not your girlfriend, she's not a real girlfriend, 95 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,419 she's a computer girlfriend. 96 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,754 Huge difference, real girlfriend, ump-ump 97 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,057 computer girlfriend, eh-eh-eh, you know what I'm saying? 98 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,992 - Yeah. - And I hate to break it down 99 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,727 but your girlfriend probably got a dick. 100 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,430 This convention is gonna be the fucking tits! 101 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,831 What convention? 102 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,833 You didn't hear about #acon? 103 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,402 Bro it's the biggest social media convention ever. 104 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:41,640 Yeah man, #acon. Everyone's gonna be there. 105 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,876 It's gonna be awesome. How do you not know about this? 106 00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,749 Okay, uh, seriously, what is #acon? 107 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,018 Who the hell cares, people get laid at conventions. 108 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,119 - Yeah they do. - Okay. 109 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,387 - Really? - Huh. 110 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,890 - Is that like a thing? - Is that what, was that English? 111 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,059 Like a thing, sorry, I was born in Mexico. 112 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,862 Yeah, that's literally why they invented conventions, so you can fuck. 113 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,631 It's like the only place you can cheat on your wife and get a free gift basket. 114 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,034 The gift baskets, uh, but the cheating. 115 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,704 - So this means... - You can have sex finally. 116 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,638 Ooh. 117 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,410 No more virginity! 118 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,115 - Yeah Juanpa. - I'm not gonna be a virgin, Logan! 119 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:26,017 Let's do it! 120 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,120 We're all gonna be on the same fucking flight. 121 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,021 - Are you ready, man? - What, no, no, no. What... 122 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,491 We... Do we have to fly? 123 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,893 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Logan, yeah. 124 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,728 Uh, then I can't go. 125 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,598 No Logan, por favor not again. 126 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,967 Why can't you fly Logan? 127 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:47,539 You can do it, Logan, you can do it! 128 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,975 It's gonna go on YouTube. 129 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,544 I don't know, looks pretty high from up here. 130 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,580 You're wearing a helmet, use your wings, you big pussy. 131 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,149 Alright, here it goes. 132 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,985 My foreign exchange brother Logan is going to fly. 133 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,853 Oh shit! 134 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,024 Logan! 135 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:07,625 - How bad is it? - You broke your femurs. 136 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:16,885 That's how I got these. 137 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,672 - Whoa. - That's the dumbest story I've ever heard. 138 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,809 You ain't the fucking Wright Brothers motherfucker, alright? 139 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,578 And pull your pants up, the scars bring out the bitch in you. 140 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,215 You a nasty bitch, 141 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,184 you a nasty bitch. 142 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:33,952 Come on stop, stop, guys, stop. 143 00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,888 Guys, I'm not going and stop jumping, we have termites! 144 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,490 Shut the fuck up and jump with us! 145 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,125 The termites! 146 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,527 Termites? Fuck the shitty termites. 147 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,930 Ain't anybody worried about no goddamn termites. 148 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,940 Seriously, everyone needs to stop jumping now! 149 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,479 Yo, stop being a biggity bitch okay? 150 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,581 - Sorry. - Ain't no termites gonna chew through 151 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,516 this floor on my watch, I ain't gonna let it happen. 152 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,117 And second off you ain't gonna tell a black man 153 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,687 that he can't jump, I know my rights motherfucker 154 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,923 and I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump! 155 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,225 I'm gonna jump. 156 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,097 - What the fuck? - You guys good? 157 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,131 - What happened? - My dick. 158 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,132 How did you land like that? 159 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,169 It's time to get over your fear of flying, man. 160 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,671 If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 161 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,240 Please. Por favor. 162 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,709 Not gonna happen buddy, sorry. 163 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,144 Oh, it just would have been fun to tear up Australia with you. 164 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,048 - Australia? - Yeah, but it's fine, 165 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,984 I'll just call a hooker she can do the job. 166 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,586 - It's in Australia? - Yeah, bro, Australia. 167 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,555 Imagine all the stuff we can do there, man, 168 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,058 - kangaroos, wallaby's, shrimp on the barbie. - Shrimp on the barbie. 169 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,595 Marsupials, motherfucker, dingo's eating babies, 170 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,964 and you get to see the girl who lives in your computer. 171 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,535 Real titties, soft nipples, uh? 172 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,281 Hey, you talking about computer titties in there? 173 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,204 Hey, let me tell you something about 174 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,572 these Australian hoes. 175 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,140 They're crazy, they're like boomerangs. 176 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,975 You throw them away they come right back 177 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,310 and suck your dick, mate. 178 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,679 "Hey, can I suck your dick, mate?" I'm like, 179 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,813 "Yeah, you can do it. 180 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,248 Now put your back into it". 181 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,617 - Alright. - Uh-huh. 182 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,885 I know I'm gonna regret this. 183 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,620 But let's do it! 184 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,595 Oh, sh... Okay. 185 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:27,198 Ah! That's amazing, babe, you're gonna love it here, I promise. 186 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,668 I dunno I heard actually it's pretty gnarly. 187 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,271 - What do you mean? - Like deadly spiders, and snakes and shit. 188 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,674 Oh yeah, we've got a lot of spiders. 189 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:39,678 - But they're not like everywhere, right? - Yeah, look it. 190 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,115 Holy shi... 191 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,221 This is my spider stick. 192 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,158 You're so brave for coming to Australia, Logan, 193 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,028 - I can't believe you're coming. - I am absolutely terrified but I'm coming. 194 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,298 Crikey, I have to go, bye. 195 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,070 Okay. 196 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,938 Time to say goodbye, old friend. 197 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,043 One more time for old time's sake. 198 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:15,080 No. You're making this harder than it has to be. 199 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,082 That's what I was hoping for. 200 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:21,019 - Fine, but don't tell Ariel. - I never would. 201 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,155 - Thanks. - That bitch is gonna die. 202 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:29,361 - What? - I mean... Uh... I was made to fly. 203 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,930 Anyways, er, rub me on your cock. 204 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,068 - What? - Did I stutter? 205 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,509 - No. - Then fucking rub me on your fucking cock! 206 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,339 Wee! 207 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,709 Super psychedelic stuff from Stones 208 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,178 and the groovy A-M-V-N. The moment... 209 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,725 You boys want some water? 210 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,115 - No, thanks man. - Nah, we good fam. 211 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,249 Appreciate you. 212 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,685 - Then maybe some cocaine? - Sure. 213 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,920 What? Juanpa what the f... What the fuck? 214 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,056 I mean he's offering. Shut, shut the fuck up. 215 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,357 - You're not doing cocaine on the way to the airport. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 216 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,660 Holy shit. Yo, Vitaly's on our flight. 217 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,828 Apparently he's gonna Australia to stand trial. 218 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,364 Wait. Why is Vitaly going to stand trial? 219 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,932 Look if you weren't so knee deep in 220 00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,434 computer pussy you'd know what's going on. 221 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,046 I'll take it from here, blind side. 222 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,951 Welcome to hell. 223 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,788 Augh! Two for flinching. 224 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,924 - Bye mom. - Bye. 225 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,225 - Bye dad. - Bye. 226 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,429 Have a great time. 227 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,688 - I'm gonna miss you, Mom. - I'm gonna miss you. 228 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,094 Now that's a close family. 229 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,881 Must be European. 230 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,049 Must be nice. 231 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,451 Must be down to fuck. 232 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,720 Hey, ya'll wanna adopt a black man? 233 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,855 I'm gonna go shove this weed in my ass. 234 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,890 I got to check in with immigration. 235 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,993 - You good? - Not really. 236 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,165 Hide your knives, hide your drugs, 237 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,801 and hide your liquors 'cause we searching everybody around here. 238 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,412 Step out. 239 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,983 - Do you possess any explosives? - Nope just this bomb ass pussy. 240 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,875 - How you going, buddy? That's adorable that bag. - Here you go. 241 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,565 Thank you, it's actually brand new. 242 00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:38,255 - I just got it from the store. - Oh yeah? 243 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,390 - Yeah. - Cool story man. 244 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,160 Be, be... 245 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,195 Come on man, what the fuck? 246 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,030 Next. 247 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,298 - What was that? - Here you go. 248 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:48,800 Whoa. 249 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,972 My uterus. 250 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,141 - Hey where's Juanpa? - Immigration. 251 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,543 Deported. 252 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,280 Hey, how are ya? Deported. 253 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,552 Oh sweet Jesus, definitely deported. 254 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,223 Well, hello young man, are you a citizen 255 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,959 - of these United States of America? - Si. 256 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:19,097 - I smell bullshit, deported. - No! Ow! Wait, look, 257 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,533 I wanna have sex, just send me to Australia. 258 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,336 - That can be arranged. - Ah, thank you, sir. 259 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,007 Whoa. Benny? 260 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,142 Oh my god, long time no see. 261 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,847 Um. Is... he's supposed to be sleeping? 262 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:36,948 Chill, Logan. 263 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,055 Bag check. 264 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,023 What, why? 265 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,491 - Sir. - I just have a laptop. 266 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,026 You've been randomly selected 267 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,228 by our advanced safety algorithm 268 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,064 for an extensive anal cavity search. 269 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,202 I got 911 reasons not to trust this guy. 270 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,373 Whoa. You know you have to ex-ray that bird. 271 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,310 Well, he's, er, like a lapdog, he can't fly. 272 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,612 I don't know if that bird is a terrorist. 273 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,915 Check the damn bird. Thank you. 274 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,357 Sir, the bird, it's over three fluid ounces, 275 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,625 you're gonna have to check it. 276 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,294 - Come on, he's got scoliosis. - Hum. 277 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,263 Ma'am no twerking in my machine. 278 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,432 - I wasn't twerking. - I'm just making sure. 279 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,054 No, you can't make me! 280 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,589 You can't make me! 281 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:55,093 No, no, no, no! 282 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,628 Ow, ow! 283 00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,463 Okay, okay. 284 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,398 I'm scared. 285 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,166 Wait guys, wait for me. 286 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,308 Wait, stop, hey! 287 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,610 Wait. 288 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,050 As passengers in the emergency row are you willing 289 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,386 and capable to assist in the event of an emergency? 290 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,189 Alright, good enough. 291 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,926 No, no I'm fucking not! 292 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,029 Well, luckily for you the passenger in 2E 293 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,551 just passed away so I can upgrade you to first class if you like. 294 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,300 - Passed away? - Mm hm. 295 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,935 What do you mean passed away? 296 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:47,111 One for you, there you are. 297 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,314 Yeah, mm-hum, hi there you go. 298 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,616 Alright, there you are, sir. 299 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,186 Hey, Juanpa you made it. 300 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,721 They searched my cavities man. 301 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,424 I've never been to a dentist like this before. 302 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,025 Alright, move it along, here we go. 303 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,393 Keep going, all the way back. 304 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,063 Frosty, uh, my last taste of America. 305 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:14,506 Ah, shit. 306 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,213 Ew. 307 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,516 Auto correct. 308 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,686 - Are you looking at naked pictures on your phone? - No. 309 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,555 Yeah, yeah you were. 310 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:34,258 No, I... I mean, yeah I was but it's my mom. 311 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,160 You're staring at a naked photo of your mom? 312 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,197 - No! Yes. Look I... I mean... - Oh my gosh. 313 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,999 - Ugh. - Technically yes, it was my mom, technically 314 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,667 yes she was naked but it's not like... 315 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,237 I don't think we've met, hi, I'm Logan. 316 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,308 - Jenna. - Hi Logan, I'm Jenna. 317 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,478 - What? - Okay, well, I'm... 318 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,515 - I think we got off on the wrong foot. - Cool. 319 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,152 Really looking forward to the next 17 hours of this. 320 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,453 Yeah, me to. 321 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,790 - Let me just move in. - If that helps. 322 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:18,369 Welcome aboard Koalair flight 1524 to Sidney, Australia. 323 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,272 - Koality you can trust. - Trust. 324 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:25,176 This is your captain Trussell with co-pilot Penis. 325 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,247 First of all it's pronounced Penis, 326 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,416 I come from a proud Celtic heritage. 327 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,352 - I'd like to thank you for choosing Koalair. - Shut up. 328 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,487 We know you have many choices in air travel 329 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,090 and we are always surprised when you choose us. 330 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,526 - Argh. - I think that went pretty well. 331 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,628 That was killer annunciation bro. 332 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,531 You know I've been taking this new speech therapy class 333 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,067 and I think my lisp is gone. 334 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,435 I can barley notice it. 335 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,602 You're so handsome, 336 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,205 you look just like your daddy. 337 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,774 Even though he ran off with that cheating whore 338 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,544 but your so cute, yes you are. 339 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,479 We're gonna find you a new daddy. 340 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,182 Yes we are, with way more money. 341 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,717 So, er, you gonna the social media convention? 342 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:10,855 - Oh, no, I'm visiting my sweetheart from the war. - Oh. 343 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,657 He's on his deathbed 344 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,559 - and I promised him... - Oh I'm sorry. 345 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:18,396 one more ride on the merry go around. 346 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,630 Ah, cool. 347 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,668 Oh, by the way I don't mean to scare you 348 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:27,205 but I sleep with my eyes open. 349 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,312 - Hello? Uh... - Oh. 350 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,515 - Oh. Oh boy. - Lick your lips. 351 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,750 - Oh! - Uh-oh. 352 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,587 - Mwah. - Whoa. Fucking A. 353 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,655 And I was left with... 354 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,891 these bad boys. Yeah. 355 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,860 Oh my god. 356 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,728 You probably think I'm an idiot, huh? 357 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:51,796 Check this out. 358 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,733 Oh my god! You have femur scars. 359 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,802 - Matching femur scars. - Oh yeah, we have matching femur scars. 360 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,638 - This is weird, this is weird. - It is weird, 361 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,573 most people don't even know what a femur is. 362 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,142 How do we...? Ah. 363 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,710 - Keep it down up there. - It's fine. 364 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,211 How did you get yours? 365 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,181 Not to freak you out but plane crash. 366 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,218 Like a... Like the fucking... 367 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,753 Uh... 368 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,222 What the fuck? God, what the fuck. 369 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,559 I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, 370 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,228 no one survives those, no. 371 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:27,498 - I like to play out in your head though. That was funny. - Okay. 372 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,866 Aah. 373 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,170 - No. - You got me good, you got me good. 374 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,905 You have a weird sense of humor. 375 00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,239 But I like it. 376 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,242 - But how'd that happen actually? - Ah. Drug deal went south, 377 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:39,610 they brought hammers, so. 378 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,781 Y... What kind of drugs? 379 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,650 Whoa look at all this leg room. 380 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,251 It's crazy. 381 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,920 I can't even reach my tray table. 382 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:52,890 Jesus Christ. 383 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,662 Hey, fucking stop having fun! 384 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,485 Look at you, my little fluffy haired cum scarf. 385 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:26,357 - Oh. - Am I following along at the right place? 386 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,226 That seat back isn't gonna be the only thing 387 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,760 in the upright position. 388 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,830 - I dunno. - I'm gonna break you in 389 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,967 like a new pair of sneakers, Vans, damn Daniel. 390 00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:37,635 I'm gonna ride you like a pogo stick 391 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,004 and fill you up like you forgot to say when. 392 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:43,507 I'm gonna fist you at the Four Seasons pool in broad daylight. 393 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,544 I'll stretch your tight little ass like goatskin drum. 394 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,379 I can hear you. 395 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,827 Mmm. 396 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,896 Aww. 397 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,799 Oh, whoa, stop, stop. 398 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,273 Hey, you can do this. 399 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,511 Don't be a little bitch, alright? 400 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,813 Please turn your cellular 401 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:27,051 and electronic devices to airplane setting. 402 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,719 Hey fuck that. 403 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:31,055 I'd rather die than turn my shit off. 404 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:34,525 - I'm ready to die so you kill me motherfucker. - We want full cell service! 405 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,761 ♪ Say what you want fools That's right fools ♪ 406 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,529 ♪ I'd call you out But it's not news ♪ 407 00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,665 ♪ The world knows it Your girl knows it ♪ 408 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,033 ♪ You not one of them Tight dudes ♪ 409 00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:43,901 ♪ We watch you We know the type ♪ 410 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,836 ♪ Loud mouth like a motor bike ♪ 411 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,538 ♪ I don't know why We let you live ♪ 412 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,407 ♪ Chalk it up to an over sight ♪ 413 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,008 ♪ A real man makes up his mind ♪ 414 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,877 ♪ Don't cry about it He'll laugh about it ♪ 415 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,779 ♪ Real men live forever ♪ 416 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,580 Aw shit, we're going the wrong way. 417 00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,015 Oh my goodness, I believe 418 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,817 we are going in the wrong direction. 419 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:00,818 We got to flip a bitch. 420 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,753 We will now flip a bitch. 421 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,923 The aviation term for turning the plane around. 422 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:07,558 Coming about! 423 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,964 It's a video, got your dumb ass. 424 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,086 I fly all the time. 425 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:20,570 I can't talk right now mom, I'm on a fucking plane! 426 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:22,773 - What the hell is going on? - Aw. 427 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:25,042 What... Did you spill on the console again? 428 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,677 No I didn't spill, dad. 429 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,682 We are getting major satellite interference 430 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,118 - for some reason. - No, that's no satellite interference. 431 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,087 Wait, do you think that they...? 432 00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:38,022 It's the cell phones. 433 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,060 They didn't turn off their cell phones. 434 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,995 Everyone knows that you put your phone 435 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,597 in airplane mode. 436 00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:48,966 Don't be so fucking naive Penis. 437 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,601 My name is Penis. 438 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,069 It is a Celtic name. 439 00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:54,538 God damn it, what the hell is going on. 440 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,575 Hey you motherfuckers, turn off your fucking cellphones. 441 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:58,909 Dad! 442 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,451 ♪ We're gonna live forever ♪ 443 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:19,864 Flying ain't so bad. 444 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,099 Hey, look at my little doggie. 445 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,401 - Aw. - Isn't he cute? 446 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:24,902 - Yeah, he is. - Yeehaw. 447 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,384 - Yeah, that's my baby. - That's good. 448 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:27,638 - Whoa, whoa. - Oh. 449 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,973 - Yeah. Yeah. - No. Um... 450 00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:30,508 Who is that shirtless hunk? 451 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,610 I'm getting as far away from that cheating prick 452 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,445 as possible, hence Australia. 453 00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:37,615 Oh damn, my bad. 454 00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:41,866 You know I know what it's like to be cheated on. 455 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,655 Yeah this one time during midterms this Asian girl 456 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:46,090 kept looking over at all my answers. 457 00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,959 Which I ironic you know because she's Asian, 458 00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:52,913 I should be cheating off of her. 459 00:23:52,914 --> 00:23:53,696 But it... I see how that's different now 460 00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:56,434 that the words have come out of my mouth. 461 00:23:56,702 --> 00:23:57,702 What's your Instagram? 462 00:23:58,771 --> 00:23:59,970 I don't have social media. 463 00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:02,706 What do you mean when you say that? 464 00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:05,476 I mean like I'd rather just be living my life instead of 465 00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:09,613 - worrying if people are gonna like and comment on it. - Wow. 466 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:12,983 - Are you with the #amegacon thing? - No, no, kind of, no. 467 00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,753 - Wow. - No, no. I'm actually going to Australia 468 00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,087 to visit my girlfriend for the first time. 469 00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:18,622 Your girlfriend's a computer! 470 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:19,990 Fuck you, Lele. 471 00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:21,659 Check out how pretty she is. 472 00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,128 - Home screen. - Whew! Home screen official. 473 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:26,030 Yeah, she's, she's gorgeous. 474 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,505 Hey, boys. 475 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:36,640 Oh my god. Oh! 476 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:41,011 I am so sorry. Oh jeez, sorry, sorry about that okay. 477 00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,516 Oh. Huh. 478 00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,751 This would happen to me on my first day. 479 00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:49,153 Humph. 480 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:58,863 Attention, all passengers. We have reached 481 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:01,232 our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet, 482 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:03,601 it is now safe to unfasten your seat belts. 483 00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:06,203 Unfasten? You mean turn up? 484 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,850 ♪ Come here we go Through the rhythm move ♪ 485 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,152 ♪ You ain't got a lot ass You got a little bit though ♪ 486 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:24,855 ♪ Always ignore my phone When I'm sick of a hoe ♪ 487 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,525 ♪ I take a white bitch Back home when I'm alone ♪ 488 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,065 ♪ Sower's in the back seat Louis riding shotgun ♪ 489 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,701 ♪ Girl on the rebound I'm Dennis Rodman ♪ 490 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,970 ♪ These girls get mad When they chasing me ♪ 491 00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:42,706 ♪ True Hollywood story Let's take some heat ♪ 492 00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,209 ♪ Friends try to cock block like Chris Hanson ♪ 493 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,912 ♪ Straight to the bathroom I'm done dancing ♪ 494 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,147 ♪ Posers in the stall 'Cause I'm bring romance ♪ 495 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:53,083 ♪ I murder girls 69 Like Charles Manson ♪ 496 00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,591 ♪ Bass getting louder Sounds like a bullet ♪ 497 00:26:00,593 --> 00:26:02,927 ♪ Nose full of powder Mouth full of bullshit ♪ 498 00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:06,830 ♪ Dick never prouder sly that A girls fit tits falling out ♪ 499 00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:09,099 ♪ Don't stop it's working Undress us with your eyes ♪ 500 00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:11,969 ♪ And you can't stop drooling Keep it in your pants girl ♪ 501 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:13,837 ♪ Who are you fooling But you may give you 502 00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:15,306 ♪ A flight you'll never forget ♪ 503 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,684 You can't hear my thoughts. 504 00:26:26,686 --> 00:26:29,219 - Yes I can, Bruce. - Stop it. 505 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:41,298 Oh score, oh my god, alright, well. 506 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:46,937 Oh, hey, bulimic, get out of there. that stuff costs money. 507 00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:49,773 What... What am I... 508 00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:52,276 I speak goat to, you are a basic bitch. 509 00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:54,712 What if I let you lick one of my nipples? 510 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:57,147 I wouldn't fuck your brother even if we was hot. 511 00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:59,617 Okay, what about if I told you I had a penis? 512 00:26:59,619 --> 00:27:02,152 Here's the deal, you are a skinny, ratchet ass, 513 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,755 basic bitch who goes to Cancun for spring break 514 00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,024 - and will put anything in her mouth, got it? - What? 515 00:27:07,026 --> 00:27:10,060 Take your brunette extensions, your skinny, 516 00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:12,296 weird, Selena Gomez look alike bullshit, 517 00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:15,766 - go get on your phone and go find a cock to suck. - Well... 518 00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:18,402 Shhh. You're a basic bitch, get out of my liquor. 519 00:27:36,188 --> 00:27:38,389 - Coffee, sir? - Yes please. 520 00:27:38,891 --> 00:27:41,058 Okay and how would you like it? 521 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:44,294 Like I like my women, black and full of cream. 522 00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:49,266 You kiss like my dad. 523 00:27:49,268 --> 00:27:53,003 - Let's just pretend you didn't say that, okay? - Okay. 524 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:56,675 There you go. 525 00:27:58,077 --> 00:27:59,077 The fuck? 526 00:28:04,784 --> 00:28:05,784 You're next. 527 00:28:07,787 --> 00:28:09,153 Hey, guys just wanted to let you know 528 00:28:09,155 --> 00:28:11,889 I didn't see anything, you're still going. 529 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,824 You're still going at it. Okay, sorry. 530 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,159 I still didn't see anything. 531 00:28:16,729 --> 00:28:21,432 Oh, ho-ho-ho. There you are. 532 00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:25,703 Oh, you're an escape artist just like your daddy. 533 00:28:25,705 --> 00:28:26,870 Mm. Huh? 534 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,574 Yeah. 535 00:28:30,575 --> 00:28:31,741 Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners, 536 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:33,377 you must be hungry comrade, huh? 537 00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:35,746 You want some banana, huh? 538 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,381 You want a little banana? Here you go. 539 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:39,883 Why don't you eat that, there you go. 540 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,151 Why don't you take that all? 541 00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:42,419 Yeah that's what I thought, 542 00:28:42,421 --> 00:28:43,821 that's what I thought. 543 00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:46,757 You want some cheese, pal, you got cheese in Russia? 544 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,826 Oh, you got a built in cheese grater right there, 545 00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,094 look at you, huh, look at you. 546 00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:52,029 What does that taste like, borsht? 547 00:28:52,031 --> 00:28:54,732 What else? Oh, Choco-taco. 548 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:57,267 I hope you're not dairy intolerant there, Ruski. 549 00:28:57,269 --> 00:29:01,438 How's that? Oh yeah, oh yeah. 550 00:29:03,342 --> 00:29:05,075 What the fuck you looking at, Aladdin? 551 00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,410 Nothing, what's your problem? 552 00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:08,245 I got no problem, I'm just racist. 553 00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:11,448 I do respect queers though. They've been through a lot. 554 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:13,050 Now you got that gay marriage. 555 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,692 Used to be what they'd do is illegal. 556 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:16,007 Now they got shows about it. 557 00:29:16,789 --> 00:29:18,756 - I binge watch. - Okay, dude. 558 00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,192 Is he still looking? Yeah. 559 00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:29,066 And that's how I lost 15 percent of my right testicle. 560 00:29:29,802 --> 00:29:32,402 Yup, a dwarf in a Godzilla costume, can you imagine? 561 00:29:32,404 --> 00:29:35,372 I don't have to imagine, you just told me every last detail. 562 00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:38,086 There's nothing more I could possibly learn about your balls. 563 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:41,879 Oh you'd be surprised, they could do a whole 60 minute special on my balls. 564 00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:44,481 Does your Internet girlfriend know about your deflated testicle? 565 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,151 It's not deflated and no, 566 00:29:47,153 --> 00:29:48,919 we have not crossed that bridge yet. 567 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:50,821 Alright, I'm sorry I got to ask, 568 00:29:50,823 --> 00:29:53,524 how can you love someone you never actually met? 569 00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:57,261 - She makes me snort. - What? 570 00:29:57,263 --> 00:29:59,296 She's funny, she's got a great sense of humor, 571 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:02,299 - I know it's cheesy but... - Bro, I could make you snort in two seconds. 572 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,901 No you could not, okay. 573 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,903 It's practically impossible to make me laugh. 574 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:09,239 It takes someone creative, it takes someone original. 575 00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:11,241 - Got to make a good joke to make me laugh. - Argh! 576 00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:20,951 - Aw. Does this mean that you love me? - Ah... 577 00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:31,428 By the way, thanks for pepping me up earlier. 578 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:34,431 I know it may not have seemed like much but it really helped. 579 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:35,966 Yeah, yeah, no problem Logan. 580 00:30:36,402 --> 00:30:38,602 Alright, I am going to try to get some sleep 581 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,437 and hopefully not dream of dwarfzilla. 582 00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:41,605 Or swollen balls. 583 00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,907 - Yeah. - Am I right? 584 00:30:43,909 --> 00:30:45,509 Yeah, okay goodnight. 585 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:51,014 I'm gonna nominate your shoulder as my pillow, okay. 586 00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:05,963 Did you really just wipe your snot on my shoulder? 587 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:08,266 No. 588 00:31:08,934 --> 00:31:10,000 Is this shit? 589 00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:13,604 Oh, okay, thank God. 590 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:34,191 Hey, I have noticed that the seatbelt sign has been off 591 00:31:34,193 --> 00:31:37,227 for the last several hours and I just think that... Oh! 592 00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:39,229 That is very unprofessional 593 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,531 and unsafe and Jesus Christ 594 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:43,967 are you gonna suck his dick all the way to Australia? 595 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:45,936 Fuck it! I'll finish him off. 596 00:31:50,009 --> 00:31:51,074 Oh my god! 597 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:05,989 We need your assistance in the cockpit, sir. 598 00:32:05,991 --> 00:32:07,257 Are you fucking kidding me? 599 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:11,328 Sir, we really need your assistance in the cockpit. 600 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:12,963 You're crazy if you think I'm gonna let 601 00:32:12,965 --> 00:32:15,098 this soviet psychopath sit back here alone. 602 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:18,268 Sir, with all due respect this is more important. 603 00:32:19,204 --> 00:32:20,537 Do you know what this guy's capable of? 604 00:32:20,539 --> 00:32:22,639 He is the reason you have your privates scanned 605 00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:25,676 at the airport, and I hate having my privates scanned. 606 00:32:26,178 --> 00:32:28,412 I had my dick lobbed off by a pottery wheel. 607 00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:31,248 Now my dick looks like the stump at the end of the giving tree. 608 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:32,250 Oh. 609 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,119 If you so much as flinch 610 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,555 I will make you a member of the dick stump club. 611 00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:41,558 There are three of us. 612 00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:44,728 We meet on Wednesdays. 613 00:32:45,698 --> 00:32:46,698 Damn it. 614 00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:09,519 - What the fuck is on his mouth? - I just thought they were making oral love, 615 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:12,122 - I had no idea that they were... - Oh you had no idea. 616 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,657 - You had no idea? - No. 617 00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:16,159 TAS article 1219 clearly states 618 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:19,730 - no pilot shall engage in dick suckery without a spotter. - What? 619 00:33:19,732 --> 00:33:21,999 - Dick suckery? - How would I know that? 620 00:33:22,001 --> 00:33:24,401 - Cause that's your job. - It's not my job. - Is everything okay? 621 00:33:24,636 --> 00:33:25,435 Hey, go back to your seat. ok? 622 00:33:25,437 --> 00:33:26,703 Go back to your seat now 623 00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,071 or I'm gonna tase you till you shit. 624 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,106 What happened to the pilots? 625 00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:30,307 Hey look, just be quiet, okay, 626 00:33:30,309 --> 00:33:31,742 we don't want the rest of the plane 627 00:33:31,744 --> 00:33:33,243 to know the pilots are dead, we're fucked. 628 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,312 Dead, the pilots are dead? 629 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:38,682 - Holy fucking shit. - I came in here. And I found them like that and I was like, 630 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,684 "Oh my god what do I do", and then I went and got him. 631 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,252 - And now it's... - Alright listen. Shut up, shut up 632 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:43,787 both of you calm down, okay? Listen to me. 633 00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:46,656 - Hey over here, over here, over here. - Ok, ok. 634 00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:49,693 Listen to me, okay, I'm trained for situations like this. 635 00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:51,361 You go get me a car battery, 636 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,397 a tourniquet, and a bendy straw. 637 00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,465 I'll have these zombie pilots flying in no time. 638 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:59,102 Sir, we don't have anymore bendy straws. 639 00:33:59,104 --> 00:34:01,038 - Oh fuck! - Fuck. 640 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,506 - Alright. - We are so fucked. 641 00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:04,174 I'm just gonna have to land this plane myself. 642 00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:07,210 - You can fly? - There are two things in my life that I love. 643 00:34:07,513 --> 00:34:08,779 Flying jets and pottery. 644 00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:10,614 - I gave my dick for it. - Oh. 645 00:34:10,616 --> 00:34:13,250 I'm gonna land this plane and we're gonna be just fine. 646 00:34:13,252 --> 00:34:15,085 Argh! 647 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:18,622 Holy shit. 648 00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:29,699 - Ahh. - Hey boss had a bit of radio silence 649 00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:31,668 from flight 1524 from Los Angeles. 650 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:35,172 Oi, well you know what they say, "Silence is golden", huh, 651 00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:38,141 especially from Los Angeles. Bunch of fucking hippies. 652 00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:42,112 Hipsters. What the fuck is Coachella anyway? 653 00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:45,315 Where's my baby? 654 00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:53,356 Is that a baby? Is that a baby? 655 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,293 Oh shit. 656 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,228 Have you seen my baby? 657 00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,396 A baby. 658 00:35:03,135 --> 00:35:04,134 Hi baby. 659 00:35:04,136 --> 00:35:05,469 Have you seen my baby? 660 00:35:06,271 --> 00:35:07,304 Have you see my baby? 661 00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,106 What did I find? 662 00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:13,410 Aw, you look starving. Come on. 663 00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:19,616 Sir, sir... hi, as much as I love that Versace blouse 664 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:22,152 you are cannot breast feed that baby right here. 665 00:35:22,888 --> 00:35:23,888 Really? 666 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,223 Well I think I can breast feed 667 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:30,127 this random baby wherever the fuck I want. 668 00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:31,728 - No you can't. No you can't. - Okay? 669 00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:34,231 God gave me nipples and I'll be damned 670 00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:35,665 if I don't use them, okay? 671 00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,517 Okay, well, little science lesson, 672 00:35:37,518 --> 00:35:39,368 men don't produce breast milk incidentally so, ah. 673 00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:41,338 Aw, oh, no. 674 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,274 It's a miracle. 675 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,909 Oh God, you're a squirter. 676 00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:48,178 Yeah, yeah milk facial. 677 00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:50,213 Who wants a milk mask? 678 00:35:50,215 --> 00:35:51,681 I didn't, uh, sir I didn't realize. 679 00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:53,650 Wait, open your mouth one more time. Ah. 680 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,452 Oh, oh, okay. Oh. 681 00:35:55,454 --> 00:35:57,554 What's that? That's not diet Coke, bitch. 682 00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,690 A little in the mouth, okay never mind thank you. 683 00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:02,460 Idiot. 684 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:05,796 Hi, how are you? 685 00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:07,731 This is my baby. 686 00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:10,568 You want some milk? 687 00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:13,624 I got two of these motherfuckers right here. 688 00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:32,355 Oh shit, I have a boner. 689 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,929 Oh no, no, no, no. Oh no, no, no. 690 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:43,567 No, sir, please wake up sir, please wake up sir. 691 00:36:43,569 --> 00:36:46,736 Please wake up sir, oh God, sir! 692 00:36:46,738 --> 00:36:48,438 Okay, okay. 693 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:49,974 Alright look. 694 00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:55,645 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 695 00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:58,481 Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up, please wake up. 696 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:03,687 Oh God, no, no, no, no. 697 00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:08,325 Okay, okay, sir, please wake up. 698 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:10,660 Please wake up, sir, one, two, three, four, 699 00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:13,330 five, six, seven, eight. 700 00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:30,680 Please sir, please. 701 00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:35,018 Fuck! 702 00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:43,760 Some day all of this will be yours. 703 00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:57,707 - Juanpa. - What do you want? 704 00:37:57,976 --> 00:37:59,542 It's getting to the best part, 705 00:37:59,544 --> 00:38:01,645 she's putting the tongue, oh, look at it, oh yeah. 706 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,514 Damn it, Log, what do you want bro? 707 00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:06,549 Can get that crow bar back? 708 00:38:06,551 --> 00:38:08,051 Juanpa, we need to talk. 709 00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:11,321 Now. Now! 710 00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:13,857 Oh shit. 711 00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,395 You taking a selfie? 712 00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:21,064 Yeah it's lit. Argh! 713 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:22,832 Should we try CPR? 714 00:38:23,302 --> 00:38:24,734 No man, I already tried that. 715 00:38:25,337 --> 00:38:27,037 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 716 00:38:27,039 --> 00:38:28,838 So this means you made out with a guy? 717 00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,808 - Juanpa, this is not the time. - Was it nice? Um... 718 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:32,942 - What? - It must be nice. 719 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:35,478 - Dude, focus please. - Yeah. 720 00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:42,500 They're actually dead, bro. 721 00:38:43,388 --> 00:38:44,721 Aw, nah, nah, nah. 722 00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:48,692 What, what should we do? 723 00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:51,061 I don't know. Maybe someone else has a plan. 724 00:38:51,596 --> 00:38:54,597 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that's a great idea, Log, 725 00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:56,099 who should we get, oh Brittany Furlan? 726 00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:58,601 Who wants a body shot? 727 00:38:59,404 --> 00:39:01,571 Or the guy who makes me doubt my sexuality, huh? 728 00:39:03,408 --> 00:39:05,008 Maybe King Bach, he's your buddy right? 729 00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:07,043 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 730 00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:08,478 Think straight. 731 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,646 You're right, everyone will panic. 732 00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:11,614 I need you to figure this out, okay? 733 00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:15,485 I need to put my seed into a woman's vagina before I die. 734 00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:17,354 Okay, you go do that, you go do that, 735 00:39:17,356 --> 00:39:19,122 because I'm probably gonna crash this plane. 736 00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:21,825 - Alright, one of us has to succeed, okay? - Yeah. 737 00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:23,993 - Yeah. Okay. - One of us will. 738 00:39:23,995 --> 00:39:25,528 - One of us. - Yeah. 739 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:26,530 Probably you. 740 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,740 ♪ Don't that feel Real funky ya'll ♪ 741 00:39:44,383 --> 00:39:47,951 Brittany, I want to take a body shot. 742 00:39:47,953 --> 00:39:49,052 Okay, come here, bitch. 743 00:39:52,624 --> 00:39:53,624 Jenna? 744 00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:58,428 Hey, Jenna? 745 00:39:58,430 --> 00:40:00,563 - Hey. - Oh, hey stranger, where you been? 746 00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:03,833 Um... Can we talk for a second? 747 00:40:06,638 --> 00:40:09,773 Are you seriously asking if you can say something to me? 748 00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:11,841 You're talking to me while you're saying this. 749 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:14,010 So, so can we or... 750 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,882 Amber alert, we've got a missing person 751 00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:21,918 aisle in seat 2E, suspect, looks like he's been crying. 752 00:40:22,554 --> 00:40:23,720 I'm not crying. 753 00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:31,027 Vitaly killed them and both of the pilots are already dead 754 00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:32,762 and I'm really scared right now, 755 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,497 'cause no one is flying this plane right now Jenna 756 00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:35,765 and I'm really scared and you're 757 00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:37,167 the only person I can trust to help. 758 00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,169 Okay that's adorable and a really good story 759 00:40:39,171 --> 00:40:41,171 but we land in a few hours. I'm gonna try to sleep - No, no. 760 00:40:41,173 --> 00:40:42,806 - ...and you're gonna try to get your shit together. - No, no, no. 761 00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,007 Please, please, please, Jenna 762 00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,842 please just follow me, okay? 763 00:40:47,646 --> 00:40:48,711 You need to see this. 764 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,080 These pilots better be dead. 765 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:59,923 - Oh shit. I jinxed it. - Yeah, I know right, what are the odds? 766 00:40:59,925 --> 00:41:02,792 Hey, you wouldn't by chance know how to drive a 767, would ya? 767 00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:06,729 We're all gonna die! 768 00:41:06,731 --> 00:41:07,997 Calm down, calm down, calm down. 769 00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:10,233 Calm down, calm down. 770 00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:12,902 Do you know how to drive a 767? 771 00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,938 You unlucky bastard! 772 00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:16,773 Okay. 773 00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:18,775 Okay, breath Jenna breath, breath, breath. 774 00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:20,210 Okay, Namaste, Namaste. 775 00:41:20,212 --> 00:41:22,245 Namaste, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's good. 776 00:41:22,247 --> 00:41:23,847 Okay, okay. 777 00:41:23,849 --> 00:41:25,181 There's a murderer on this plane 778 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:26,816 and I'm gonna have to die with this loser 779 00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:29,185 and all his loser friends but that's fine. 780 00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:32,021 I know my god it's not fine, I'm not even having a good hair day. 781 00:41:32,257 --> 00:41:34,891 What about my open casket, this plane will probably fuck my face up. 782 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,960 - Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna! - I need my face, what! 783 00:41:36,962 --> 00:41:38,628 We need to figure this out. 784 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:40,997 Now, for the last time, 785 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,900 do you know how to drive a 767? 786 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:49,939 - No, I don't know how to fly a 767. - Come on. 787 00:41:49,941 --> 00:41:51,808 So I'm just gonna go back to my seat 788 00:41:51,810 --> 00:41:54,143 and look at pictures of my dog until we crash. 789 00:41:54,145 --> 00:41:56,846 Until we crash, we crash, we crash... 790 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,550 Hey buddy. I heard you took quite the little crash. 791 00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:02,619 Okay, let see what the problem is. 792 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:07,624 You puked on my bones! 793 00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:11,528 I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. 794 00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:12,996 Ew. 795 00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:15,699 Are you okay? 796 00:42:21,006 --> 00:42:21,938 What was that? 797 00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:24,841 The flight attendants, they'll know what to do. 798 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,710 Did you just fart? 799 00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,145 But where did they go? 800 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:30,914 We got to find them. 801 00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:39,088 Surprise. 802 00:42:45,597 --> 00:42:47,564 What the hell is wrong with you? 803 00:42:47,566 --> 00:42:49,699 What's wrong, you don't like pranks? 804 00:42:49,701 --> 00:42:52,001 We don't like what, I couldn't understand you, what? 805 00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:53,937 Amber alert, somebody's missing 806 00:42:53,939 --> 00:42:55,805 a sense of humor down in the luggage. 807 00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:57,340 Amber Alert was my drag name. 808 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,176 Okay. 809 00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,712 The flight attendants are nowhere to be found 810 00:43:02,714 --> 00:43:05,432 - but I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, right? - How is it gonna be fine, Logan? 811 00:43:05,433 --> 00:43:08,151 I don't know but they probably figured out how to save the day. 812 00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:09,919 We're in an emergency right now, you can't, 813 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,788 you can't just sit there. We need to do something. 814 00:43:11,790 --> 00:43:13,756 Press this button and the flight attendants will come. 815 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,825 Don't press the button, that's not for emergencies, 816 00:43:15,827 --> 00:43:17,267 - that's for fucking water. - Please. 817 00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:20,029 Wow, okay, at least have the balls to do something. 818 00:43:22,067 --> 00:43:26,202 Oh my god, I just hit the jackpot. 819 00:43:27,606 --> 00:43:28,805 How is this all free? 820 00:43:28,807 --> 00:43:30,139 You're a mother. 821 00:43:30,141 --> 00:43:31,908 - Oh, fuck. - Give me these. 822 00:43:31,910 --> 00:43:34,110 - Jesus. - Damn, you have a baby. 823 00:43:34,913 --> 00:43:37,380 You're supposed to have seven of those but, you know. 824 00:43:37,382 --> 00:43:39,282 Taking care of business. 825 00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:42,885 You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 826 00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:45,154 If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 827 00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:48,691 Use your wings you big pussy, pussy... 828 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:50,927 What are you doing here? 829 00:43:50,929 --> 00:43:52,161 I'm gonna drive this plane. 830 00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:02,205 Whoa, whoa, whoa, do you even know what you're doing? 831 00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:04,073 No, but I'm a fast learner. 832 00:44:09,347 --> 00:44:11,681 Great, well, I hope that wasn't important. 833 00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:16,019 Hey, hey check it out I think I've figured out the radio. 834 00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:18,321 Air traffic control to flight 1524? 835 00:44:18,323 --> 00:44:20,323 Air traffic control to flight 1524? 836 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,358 Oh my god you're there, hello. 837 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,960 Aye, Benji here. 838 00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:25,862 Been trying to talk to you guys for ages. 839 00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,296 Yeah Benji, we're here man. 840 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:28,931 I take it you're not the pilots? 841 00:44:28,933 --> 00:44:31,000 Uh, no, no, my name is Logan Paul. 842 00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:32,735 You're not a terrorist, are you mate? 843 00:44:32,737 --> 00:44:36,305 No, I'm a social media sensation. 844 00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,043 We're a bit full of ourselves, aren't we, mate? 845 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,679 Why don't you stroke the tip a bit more? 846 00:44:43,348 --> 00:44:45,248 - What? - What happened to the pilots, mate? 847 00:44:45,817 --> 00:44:47,450 - They're dead. - No worries, mate. 848 00:44:47,452 --> 00:44:50,253 - What happened to the flight attendants? - They're missing. 849 00:44:50,255 --> 00:44:54,290 - Slight worry but don't worry, we'll take care of ya. - Really? 850 00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:57,727 Amber Alert, missing flight attendants of flight 1524. 851 00:44:59,297 --> 00:45:00,997 What was that? Aussie joke mate, 852 00:45:00,999 --> 00:45:03,066 you wouldn't get the reference. Okay. 853 00:45:03,068 --> 00:45:05,435 It appears you guys are a bit off course 854 00:45:05,437 --> 00:45:07,770 so I'm gonna punch in some new coordinates, 855 00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:10,139 all you have to do is engage the auto pilot 856 00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:12,709 and the plane will literally land itself. 857 00:45:12,711 --> 00:45:15,144 Oh. That's great news, yeah. 858 00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:16,713 You'll be a bloody hero, mate. 859 00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:19,849 Yeah, yeah! 860 00:45:19,851 --> 00:45:21,484 Now you've got to raise the auto pilot lever 861 00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:22,719 and engage the system. 862 00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:24,153 Okay, what does it look like? 863 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:26,255 Big orange stick mate, can't miss it. 864 00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:33,062 Um, can you be a little more specific? 865 00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:36,799 It literally says autopilot right on the thing there, mate. 866 00:45:37,736 --> 00:45:38,736 Um. 867 00:45:39,971 --> 00:45:41,237 Is that all it says? 868 00:45:42,807 --> 00:45:45,208 Big orange lever, 869 00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:48,244 center console, are you bloody color blind? 870 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:51,748 It's the only thing between you and certain death. 871 00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:54,917 I broke it. 872 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:59,422 - I'm sorry what? - I broke off the autopilot by accident. 873 00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:06,363 Sir? 874 00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:08,431 Sir, you there? 875 00:46:11,169 --> 00:46:15,938 Crikey. It would appear there are now a few more worries 876 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:18,541 than my original estimate of no worries. 877 00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:22,211 - How bad is it? - You're fucked, mate. 878 00:46:22,881 --> 00:46:24,847 Oh my god. 879 00:46:25,416 --> 00:46:26,816 Oh my god. 880 00:46:26,818 --> 00:46:28,017 What do you mean I'm fucked? 881 00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:29,085 That's a great question. 882 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,055 Well, you're all types of fucked! 883 00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:36,159 You're totally fucked, you're completely fucked. 884 00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:38,127 You're like a parrot getting raped. 885 00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:40,863 - You're fucked, I'm fucked. - Yeah. 886 00:46:40,865 --> 00:46:42,832 You're a little boy in a windowless van, 887 00:46:42,834 --> 00:46:44,333 you're fucked and you're gonna die. 888 00:46:44,836 --> 00:46:47,003 Speaking of which I don't like talking to dead people, 889 00:46:47,005 --> 00:46:49,806 it really bums me out so I'm gonna cut out early 890 00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,875 for lunch if no one minds and, uh, grab a quick bite. 891 00:46:52,877 --> 00:46:54,076 Right, feeling a bit peckish. 892 00:46:54,078 --> 00:46:56,312 I mind, I definitely do mind. 893 00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:59,048 Well, too bad you're going to be dead soon, Benji out. 894 00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,818 Alright, who wants tacos? 895 00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:06,823 - What a dick. - How could you break the autopilot? 896 00:47:06,825 --> 00:47:08,157 It's not like I did it on purpose. 897 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,526 Oh, oh you didn't do it on purpose? 898 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,428 Well, that's great, everything's just fine then, 899 00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:14,897 right, 'cause Logan didn't do it on purpose. 900 00:47:14,899 --> 00:47:16,532 Give me this stupid thing. 901 00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:21,571 No, no, no. Um, pay, pay no mind to the sound of struggle. 902 00:47:22,574 --> 00:47:24,540 We are fine and smooth as silk. 903 00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:26,823 - Logan, they need to know. - Jenna, no they don't. 904 00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:29,245 I know you're probably terrified right now and I am too, 905 00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:32,048 but what you're doing is not helping. 906 00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:37,353 So just give me the intercom, just hey. 907 00:47:37,989 --> 00:47:41,157 Aw fuck, hey guys if you look to your right 908 00:47:41,159 --> 00:47:43,159 and also to your left you will notice 909 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:45,261 the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. 910 00:47:45,263 --> 00:47:49,198 Oh, the ocean that's so romantic. 911 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,500 Okay, take your fucking shot, Juanpa. 912 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:55,338 Woohoo! 913 00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:57,073 We have to do something. 914 00:47:57,075 --> 00:48:00,109 Yeah, yeah I mean it can be that hard, right? 915 00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:03,012 We'll first we can move these bodies I mean 916 00:48:03,014 --> 00:48:04,294 they're really starting to smell. 917 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,949 Yeah. Up we go. 918 00:48:06,951 --> 00:48:08,551 Oh, I'm impressed. 919 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,019 Yeah, moving corpses is easy. 920 00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:13,389 Oh no, just dry heaves. 921 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:14,924 - Okay. - I won't throw up. 922 00:48:17,962 --> 00:48:19,328 I'm sorry. 923 00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:20,330 Nice. 924 00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:27,237 Ew. 925 00:48:27,906 --> 00:48:29,472 Get the fuck out of my way. 926 00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:31,307 Have you seen my baby? 927 00:48:32,010 --> 00:48:33,010 No? 928 00:48:33,144 --> 00:48:34,477 Oh your breath stinks. 929 00:48:34,479 --> 00:48:35,912 Have you seen my baby? 930 00:48:37,181 --> 00:48:38,214 No. 931 00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:40,950 Oh sir, have you seen my baby? 932 00:48:41,953 --> 00:48:42,985 Your baby's missing? 933 00:48:42,987 --> 00:48:43,987 Yeah. 934 00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:48,157 I know your plight, I'm a new mother myself. 935 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:50,960 I'll help you find him, what does he look like? 936 00:48:50,962 --> 00:48:54,096 Uh, he's a baby and he's white 937 00:48:54,365 --> 00:48:56,399 and he's got little arms. 938 00:48:57,201 --> 00:48:58,334 Is this your baby? 939 00:49:00,705 --> 00:49:01,705 Hey. 940 00:49:02,573 --> 00:49:03,573 Uh... 941 00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:05,374 I don't think so. 942 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,144 I don't think so. 943 00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,480 Look lady, I'm not Dog the fucking baby hunter. 944 00:49:11,482 --> 00:49:13,215 Okay, this baby that I found simply doesn't have 945 00:49:13,217 --> 00:49:14,717 the wherewithal to raise itself 946 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,152 and that's where I come in. 947 00:49:16,387 --> 00:49:17,987 That really looks... 948 00:49:17,989 --> 00:49:19,155 Why you touch baby? 949 00:49:19,424 --> 00:49:20,957 Who do you think you are? 950 00:49:20,959 --> 00:49:24,193 Walking around drunk around this plane losing babies. 951 00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:26,395 You smell like Jack Daniels's dick. 952 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,130 I'm so sorry. 953 00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:31,167 You get the fuck out of our face and you leave us alone. 954 00:49:32,236 --> 00:49:34,403 Why do men hate me so much? 955 00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:36,472 Because it's so easy. 956 00:49:37,709 --> 00:49:40,343 Boo fucking hoo. 957 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:46,248 Do you know what would be a hilarious prank? 958 00:49:49,187 --> 00:49:52,388 If we poisoned every passenger on this plane. 959 00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:56,726 - No, no. - Tell me where the emergency oxygen supply is. 960 00:49:56,728 --> 00:49:57,660 Never. 961 00:49:57,662 --> 00:49:58,594 - Never? - Never. 962 00:49:58,596 --> 00:49:59,662 - Never? - Never. 963 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,432 - Never? - No. 964 00:50:03,434 --> 00:50:05,735 Tell me how I access the oxygen, 965 00:50:05,737 --> 00:50:08,270 or I'll feed this dog cat food. 966 00:50:11,042 --> 00:50:12,575 Never! God no! 967 00:50:14,278 --> 00:50:15,278 Whoa! 968 00:50:16,114 --> 00:50:18,547 The poor dog, no. 969 00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:20,416 Good doggy. 970 00:50:22,020 --> 00:50:24,587 That's not what he's supposed to eat. 971 00:50:24,589 --> 00:50:26,722 It's in the safety glass by the door. 972 00:50:26,724 --> 00:50:28,624 - Why did you tell him, bitch? - It's by the door. 973 00:50:28,626 --> 00:50:31,560 - You're going to pay for that. - Thank you, thank you. 974 00:50:32,163 --> 00:50:34,063 You're going to pay for that. 975 00:50:38,236 --> 00:50:40,036 Oh God, no. 976 00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:44,206 One for me. 977 00:50:47,412 --> 00:50:48,811 One for you. 978 00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:50,513 What are you doing? 979 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:55,451 By the way it was dog food the whole time. 980 00:50:56,621 --> 00:50:59,822 What kind of a man feeds a dog cat food? 981 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:04,393 How sick do you think I am? 982 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:09,732 It's just a prank. 983 00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,802 You're probably not gonna believe me when I tell you this 984 00:51:12,804 --> 00:51:17,440 but you know most people think I'm this huge slut. 985 00:51:19,377 --> 00:51:21,677 But I've actually never even been with a man before. 986 00:51:21,679 --> 00:51:24,480 Really? Maybe I can help you with that, 987 00:51:24,482 --> 00:51:26,582 I've got some experience in that arena. 988 00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:30,719 Aren't you like 16? 989 00:51:30,721 --> 00:51:32,154 Seventeen. 990 00:51:32,356 --> 00:51:35,858 Oh sorry, 17, my god. You're still illegal. 991 00:51:35,860 --> 00:51:37,460 Hey, so what, we're all gonna die. 992 00:51:37,795 --> 00:51:40,663 - What? - Okay, look my dick can't handle anymore. 993 00:51:40,665 --> 00:51:42,765 The pilots are dead and Logan's flying the plane. 994 00:51:44,535 --> 00:51:48,137 - What? - You're so cute, and funny, and Mexican. 995 00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:55,178 That's not funny, I, I took a picture. 996 00:51:55,179 --> 00:51:57,357 - Who is flying the plane? - Logan's flying the fucking plane, alright. 997 00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:59,615 Listen, we've got nothing else left to lose. 998 00:52:00,251 --> 00:52:02,218 This is either the most elaborate pick-up line 999 00:52:02,220 --> 00:52:04,320 I've ever heard or we are really all gonna die. 1000 00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:05,821 Either way you're fucked. 1001 00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:07,656 Good point. 1002 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:17,600 Oh my god. 1003 00:52:25,276 --> 00:52:27,743 Fuck is going on back there? Shit. 1004 00:52:28,346 --> 00:52:31,347 Son of a bitch. Hey, how the fuck you sleeping through this? 1005 00:52:31,349 --> 00:52:33,749 Wake your ass up. I'm sure we about too down in this bitch. 1006 00:52:33,751 --> 00:52:35,818 Wait, wait, I'm not on the pill. 1007 00:52:36,721 --> 00:52:37,786 Neither am I, neither am I. 1008 00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,455 ♪ Oh shit ♪ 1009 00:52:39,457 --> 00:52:41,557 Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 1010 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:42,758 Yeah oh. 1011 00:52:58,543 --> 00:53:00,376 Oh, shit! 1012 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,761 There's a solution to any problem. 1013 00:53:18,763 --> 00:53:21,430 A wise woman once said, "Shake it off..." 1014 00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:26,536 Simba! 1015 00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:33,776 Give this video a thumbs up! 1016 00:53:44,255 --> 00:53:46,922 Give me that selfie stick, give me that selfie stick. 1017 00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:48,791 This is what panicking looks like. 1018 00:54:00,338 --> 00:54:03,672 Yo, flight 1524 we are out here. 1019 00:54:03,674 --> 00:54:06,709 Your boy came back like a movie star. 1020 00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:08,544 Follow me on Twitter at... 1021 00:54:09,380 --> 00:54:11,247 Fuck you Vitaly! 1022 00:54:14,352 --> 00:54:15,718 Brittany? 1023 00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:17,620 Brittany, Brittany, wake up. 1024 00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,388 Wake up, wake up. 1025 00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:23,459 You're being selfish I need this. 1026 00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:24,660 I can tell you're breathing. 1027 00:54:27,665 --> 00:54:28,764 Are you there? 1028 00:54:28,766 --> 00:54:30,599 Leave Brittany alone. 1029 00:54:38,676 --> 00:54:39,942 Hey guys, Nick Bateman here. 1030 00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:41,610 Now, all my life 1031 00:54:42,313 --> 00:54:44,480 people would tell me I'm really good looking. 1032 00:54:44,482 --> 00:54:47,683 That I turn straight guys gay, lesbians straight. 1033 00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,818 Gay guys, gayer. 1034 00:54:49,820 --> 00:54:51,854 But you know what, there's more 1035 00:54:51,856 --> 00:54:54,890 to me than just a pretty face. I'm also a junior pilot. 1036 00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:58,560 I don't know what's going on back there 1037 00:54:58,929 --> 00:55:02,331 but I'm either gonna save the day or die trying. 1038 00:55:02,333 --> 00:55:04,800 Fuck yeah man, fucking do it. 1039 00:55:05,336 --> 00:55:07,336 - Hooray! - Hooray! 1040 00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:10,606 Yeah, let's do this, let's do this! 1041 00:55:21,052 --> 00:55:22,851 Hey you, Yakuza. 1042 00:55:23,587 --> 00:55:25,454 Did you see anything, hum? 1043 00:55:26,557 --> 00:55:27,557 Jackie Chan? 1044 00:55:27,792 --> 00:55:29,925 Jackie, you, you see anything? 1045 00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:31,860 No? Shh. 1046 00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,876 Hello everybody, it's the homosexual flight helper. 1047 00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:50,679 The cabin pressure is still so low, 1048 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:54,350 please put you oxygen masks back on. Thank you. 1049 00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:08,797 Don't do it, Logan. 1050 00:56:08,799 --> 00:56:10,833 Vitaly kazed the oxygen supply. 1051 00:56:11,435 --> 00:56:12,968 Godspeed my little cream pie. 1052 00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:14,937 Jenna wait, don't put that on. 1053 00:56:15,506 --> 00:56:16,438 Why? 1054 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:17,673 Something's wrong with the oxygen. 1055 00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:19,909 How do you know? 1056 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:21,711 I hear gay people. 1057 00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:26,048 I have to go find him. 1058 00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:29,451 Logan no. Please, don't. 1059 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:33,056 Damn it. 1060 00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,090 Hey you. 1061 00:56:41,599 --> 00:56:43,832 Argh. 1062 00:56:46,670 --> 00:56:47,803 Ah, my dick. 1063 00:57:07,992 --> 00:57:10,092 My asshole, my asshole! 1064 00:57:10,928 --> 00:57:12,528 Argh! 1065 00:57:12,530 --> 00:57:15,097 I think it turned inside out! Oh my god. 1066 00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:22,038 Nick! 1067 00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:28,043 Ah, great. 1068 00:57:35,686 --> 00:57:36,785 Not the vodka. 1069 00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,587 Ow! 1070 00:57:40,157 --> 00:57:42,124 Ow shit! 1071 00:57:42,126 --> 00:57:44,593 Holy shit, what the hell are you doing? 1072 00:57:44,595 --> 00:57:45,994 Completing my master prank. 1073 00:57:46,564 --> 00:57:50,098 There's no social media convention with all of you dead, 1074 00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:53,235 all of your followers will be mine. Imagine the power. 1075 00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:01,610 Wait, you've been pranked. 1076 00:58:02,546 --> 00:58:04,947 - What are you talking about? - It was just all a prank, bro. 1077 00:58:05,683 --> 00:58:08,750 Look closely, all these people are acting, see? 1078 00:58:09,553 --> 00:58:10,619 Look at this guy. 1079 00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:14,790 Hello, I'm okay. 1080 00:58:15,192 --> 00:58:16,658 You have been pranked. 1081 00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,628 - Nick? - See? Even that girls in on it. 1082 00:58:26,637 --> 00:58:27,903 Fuck you Vitaly! 1083 00:58:34,645 --> 00:58:36,144 Oh shit, I have a boner. 1084 00:58:36,146 --> 00:58:38,680 Argh! Wha... Wake up you chiseled brute. 1085 00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,582 Oh, we are so fucking mcfucked. 1086 00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:42,284 This crazy Russian, he's gonna crash the plane 1087 00:58:42,286 --> 00:58:44,720 and he threw out all the parachutes except one. 1088 00:58:44,722 --> 00:58:45,722 Holy shit. 1089 00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:48,156 Is that dog eating cat food? 1090 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:55,797 Logan, baby, it's dog food in a cat food can. 1091 00:58:56,100 --> 00:58:57,766 Oh thank God. 1092 00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:01,737 With a hint of Nick Bateman. 1093 00:59:01,739 --> 00:59:04,773 It's just a prank, bro, but I can assure you 1094 00:59:04,775 --> 00:59:07,242 your death will be very real. 1095 00:59:07,745 --> 00:59:10,546 Thanks for covering my tracks, Logan Paul. 1096 00:59:11,615 --> 00:59:12,648 I owe you one. 1097 00:59:12,650 --> 00:59:17,853 No, no, no, no, no, not the button, no, no that... 1098 00:59:28,132 --> 00:59:31,667 If I die I'm taking you with me, you fuck. 1099 00:59:34,939 --> 00:59:38,240 Oh God I'm only 23, sort of. 1100 00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:41,843 I can't hold on anymore! 1101 00:59:50,054 --> 00:59:53,121 Tell my boyfriend Steve to hide all the pornography. 1102 00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:57,926 Maverick, no, no, no! 1103 00:59:58,762 --> 00:59:59,962 Maverick! 1104 01:00:05,035 --> 01:00:06,735 That's my bird! 1105 01:00:11,709 --> 01:00:15,744 Oh God, thank you, thank you, we're all together. 1106 01:00:17,181 --> 01:00:19,181 Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, hey. 1107 01:00:19,183 --> 01:00:21,149 Save the day cum sponge. 1108 01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:25,921 Hey Bruce. 1109 01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,470 Any final advice on how to land this plane? 1110 01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:31,927 If you can get to the cockpit, engage the autopilot. 1111 01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:34,863 The plane will literally land itself. 1112 01:00:37,001 --> 01:00:38,834 Okay. Erm... 1113 01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:47,342 Vitaly, where is Jenna? 1114 01:01:05,729 --> 01:01:07,195 Nice try, ha. 1115 01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:10,766 - Ah! - Oh, shit, I am so sorry, 1116 01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:12,234 I thought I could jump kick Vitaly 1117 01:01:12,236 --> 01:01:13,301 and save the day, it would have been really cool. 1118 01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:15,137 Yeah, shut up and stop him! 1119 01:01:17,708 --> 01:01:18,708 Here. 1120 01:01:22,046 --> 01:01:24,246 - I hope you die! - Argh! 1121 01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:26,181 This is just a flesh wound, 1122 01:01:26,784 --> 01:01:29,351 have a safe flight, captain. 1123 01:01:29,353 --> 01:01:31,453 - Oomph! - Aww! 1124 01:01:31,955 --> 01:01:34,122 Oh shit. 1125 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:50,189 You'll be missed. 1126 01:01:50,190 --> 01:01:52,307 Do you get it? The jet engine turned him into mist. 1127 01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:54,811 Okay. 1128 01:01:59,116 --> 01:02:00,315 You got a plane to land. 1129 01:02:01,452 --> 01:02:02,451 I got this. 1130 01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:08,123 - I don't got this. - Oh no, you do got this. 1131 01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:11,293 - I don't know if I got this. - I mean if you don't got this, then who got this? 1132 01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:12,961 I guess I'm gonna need to get this. 1133 01:02:12,963 --> 01:02:15,030 Oh this best going to get got then. 1134 01:02:15,032 --> 01:02:17,866 It will, it's best gone got and there ain't nobody better to go 1135 01:02:17,868 --> 01:02:20,302 - and get this than get me. - You got to get it while the goings good. 1136 01:02:20,304 --> 01:02:23,004 Oh the goings good and I'm at get it while the getting's good. 1137 01:02:23,006 --> 01:02:25,474 - You got to get it. - I'm gonna get it. 1138 01:02:25,476 --> 01:02:28,009 What the fuck are you people talking about? 1139 01:02:29,813 --> 01:02:31,379 - Get out there, come on. - I'm a get it. 1140 01:02:31,381 --> 01:02:32,781 You're gonna get it. 1141 01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:45,193 Okay. 1142 01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:49,164 You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 1143 01:02:49,166 --> 01:02:53,001 You're not supposed to look down, just do it. 1144 01:02:53,003 --> 01:02:55,937 It's gonna go on YouTube. 1145 01:02:55,939 --> 01:02:58,273 YouTube, YouTube... 1146 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,542 You two, you two, you two 1147 01:03:00,544 --> 01:03:02,344 need to land this fucking plane. 1148 01:03:02,346 --> 01:03:04,780 I did not get laid Logan! 1149 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:11,453 - Jenna, do you have service yet? - Er... Yeah. Yeah, yeah here. 1150 01:03:11,989 --> 01:03:13,555 Oh, well, this is great service. 1151 01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:18,860 Go on get the last scoop out of the carton. 1152 01:03:18,862 --> 01:03:21,863 With the squatty potty you get complete elimination. 1153 01:03:21,865 --> 01:03:23,799 - Skip the ad. - I can't, it won't let me. 1154 01:03:23,801 --> 01:03:26,281 Yes, it will give you the best poop of your life, guaranteed. 1155 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,503 Argh! If I die because of this shit! 1156 01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:31,039 Umm. They're good at pooping. 1157 01:03:31,341 --> 01:03:33,308 Hey guys, it Connor and today I'm gonna 1158 01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,410 be teaching you how to land a passenger jet. 1159 01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:38,180 Flying is easy and with the right education 1160 01:03:38,182 --> 01:03:39,581 and guidelines almost anyone 1161 01:03:39,583 --> 01:03:41,149 can learn the secrets of flight. 1162 01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,818 - Amazing. Ok. - It's easy. 1163 01:03:42,820 --> 01:03:44,186 All you have to do is pay attention... 1164 01:03:44,188 --> 01:03:46,087 Nobody will watch your stupid videos. 1165 01:03:46,089 --> 01:03:47,189 Leave me alone, Becky. 1166 01:03:47,191 --> 01:03:48,890 Fuck you, Becky! 1167 01:03:48,892 --> 01:03:50,826 I'm telling mom about your abortion. 1168 01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:51,827 Fuck you. 1169 01:03:51,829 --> 01:03:53,962 Cool, okay, here are the basics. 1170 01:03:53,964 --> 01:03:56,031 This is the yoke, it's like the steering wheel 1171 01:03:56,033 --> 01:03:57,399 but here's the thing you need to know, 1172 01:03:57,401 --> 01:03:58,867 the controls are inverted 1173 01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:01,036 so, up is down, and down is up. 1174 01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,504 Oh. 1175 01:04:03,907 --> 01:04:05,407 This knob controls the flaps. 1176 01:04:05,409 --> 01:04:07,375 The flaps give the plane lift and drag. 1177 01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:10,011 When landing you want the flaps fully extended. 1178 01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:12,414 Remember, were going for maximum air resistance. 1179 01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,883 - Turn the knob. - Okay, okay. 1180 01:04:17,154 --> 01:04:19,487 The most important part of landing is of course the... 1181 01:04:19,489 --> 01:04:21,256 Connor, your sister said you're 1182 01:04:21,258 --> 01:04:22,891 looking at anime porn again. 1183 01:04:22,893 --> 01:04:24,626 - She's lying. - That's gross. 1184 01:04:24,628 --> 01:04:26,962 - God damn it, Connor! - Fuck you, Becky! 1185 01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:28,930 When you get your own house you can masturbate then. 1186 01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:31,299 - Okay, let's just skip ahead here. - Yeah, skip that. 1187 01:04:31,301 --> 01:04:34,269 Once you've done that it's time to engage the auto pilot, 1188 01:04:34,271 --> 01:04:37,939 the plane with literally land itself, how cool is that? 1189 01:04:40,577 --> 01:04:41,577 It's okay. 1190 01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:45,013 No, my phone. 1191 01:04:45,015 --> 01:04:46,348 Okay. 1192 01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,216 Hey what's that? What is...? 1193 01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:53,521 By the grace of Steve Irwin 1194 01:04:53,523 --> 01:04:55,624 you're still magically on course. 1195 01:04:55,626 --> 01:04:58,226 - Way to go, mate. - Benji, is that you? 1196 01:04:58,896 --> 01:05:01,029 Sure is, mate, and by the look of it 1197 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,898 you're still not out of the woods yet. 1198 01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:05,634 - What? - You're still quite fucked. 1199 01:05:05,636 --> 01:05:08,270 - How fucked? - Mate, you're missing an engine, you're running out of fuel, 1200 01:05:08,272 --> 01:05:10,972 and you're dropping like a dead albatross with diabetes. 1201 01:05:10,974 --> 01:05:13,108 Now normally I'd say check the cross winds, 1202 01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:14,409 20 knots from the southeast 1203 01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:15,677 but I'd bet my last dollar I do 1204 01:05:15,679 --> 01:05:17,078 you don't understand a word of that. 1205 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,047 Yeah no shit I don't, Benji. 1206 01:05:19,049 --> 01:05:21,416 Just try to land on the white line, fly straight and pray 1207 01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:24,085 you don't explode on contact. And Logan. 1208 01:05:24,554 --> 01:05:26,454 - What? - You owe me a dollar you do. 1209 01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:30,158 - I fucking hate you Benji! - Hey lose the tude, mate. 1210 01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,994 Benji, I swear to God if I survive this I'm... 1211 01:05:32,996 --> 01:05:35,463 Oi, wait a second, would you look at that? 1212 01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:37,198 That koala looks like Hugh Jackman. 1213 01:05:37,668 --> 01:05:39,301 I got to go bag me that koala. 1214 01:05:39,937 --> 01:05:41,236 Man the fort, Hansen. 1215 01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:45,340 Fuck the baby, I don't want to die. 1216 01:06:04,161 --> 01:06:06,962 Aw! What... 1217 01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:10,598 - What the fuck? - Get this fucking monkey off me. 1218 01:06:12,402 --> 01:06:13,402 Don't touch her. 1219 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:35,290 Oh my god, Logan, Logan. 1220 01:06:35,726 --> 01:06:37,492 - Logan, we landed. - What? 1221 01:06:37,494 --> 01:06:40,095 - We landed. - Oh shit, oh my god. 1222 01:06:42,032 --> 01:06:43,032 We did it. 1223 01:06:45,202 --> 01:06:48,036 Oh, wait we're not stopping, why aren't we stopping? 1224 01:06:48,038 --> 01:06:49,037 All you have to do. 1225 01:06:49,039 --> 01:06:50,071 Connor! 1226 01:06:50,073 --> 01:06:52,040 Okay, once you've landed 1227 01:06:52,042 --> 01:06:54,275 you're gonna want to hit the breaks with both feet. 1228 01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:56,611 Brakes. 1229 01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:06,388 Thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe. 1230 01:07:15,332 --> 01:07:16,798 Oh my god, you did it. 1231 01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:21,703 No Jenna, we did it. 1232 01:07:22,305 --> 01:07:25,073 Please don't ruin the moment with your cheesy bullshit. 1233 01:07:35,352 --> 01:07:36,651 We should probably get off this thing. 1234 01:07:36,653 --> 01:07:38,219 Following a hijacking 1235 01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:41,489 and an engine failure on board flight 1524 1236 01:07:41,491 --> 01:07:44,325 an incredible chain of events has led to the rescue... 1237 01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:46,294 Fuck her right in the pussy. 1238 01:07:48,498 --> 01:07:50,665 Awesome! 1239 01:07:58,175 --> 01:07:59,307 Aye, mate. 1240 01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:00,642 Benji? 1241 01:08:00,644 --> 01:08:02,410 You're actually alive. 1242 01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:04,245 I owe you a dollar I do. 1243 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:05,613 Don't worry about that. 1244 01:08:05,615 --> 01:08:07,782 Genuinely surprised to see you alive. 1245 01:08:07,784 --> 01:08:10,452 Took a lot of guts to do what you did today. 1246 01:08:16,860 --> 01:08:18,126 Hey buddy. 1247 01:08:18,128 --> 01:08:19,194 Hey man. 1248 01:08:19,196 --> 01:08:20,196 So? 1249 01:08:22,165 --> 01:08:25,700 - I failed, Log, I failed. - Aw. 1250 01:08:26,703 --> 01:08:29,437 - Oh, come on. - I guess blue balls is real. 1251 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:30,705 It hurts, it hurts man. 1252 01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:33,174 No, eh, eh, don't say that man. 1253 01:08:33,510 --> 01:08:35,543 - You're still alive. - I guess. 1254 01:08:36,513 --> 01:08:39,881 Your foreign exchange brother is still a virgin. 1255 01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:43,852 No man, my brother is still a virgin. 1256 01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:48,890 Such a tender moment. 1257 01:08:49,693 --> 01:08:50,693 Hey. 1258 01:08:51,228 --> 01:08:51,893 Hey. 1259 01:08:58,268 --> 01:09:00,869 Eugene, is that really you? 1260 01:09:01,571 --> 01:09:03,705 It's been 70 years. 1261 01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:07,408 The last orgasm I had was in Normandy in your mouth. 1262 01:09:07,410 --> 01:09:10,311 Consider it VD day. 1263 01:09:16,253 --> 01:09:17,552 Bombs away. 1264 01:09:19,589 --> 01:09:20,589 Uh... 1265 01:09:21,291 --> 01:09:22,824 So Australia's pretty nice huh? 1266 01:09:23,593 --> 01:09:24,593 Yeah. 1267 01:09:26,563 --> 01:09:27,563 Yeah. 1268 01:09:29,199 --> 01:09:29,931 Er... 1269 01:09:29,933 --> 01:09:32,567 - Does it like hurt? Aw. - Ow, ow, no I'm fine. 1270 01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,202 - Okay. - I got a bandage. 1271 01:09:35,539 --> 01:09:37,705 - You did good driving that plane. - Thanks. 1272 01:09:38,875 --> 01:09:40,515 Couldn't have done it without my co-pilot. 1273 01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:43,545 What did I tell you about being cheesy? 1274 01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:46,514 - To not be cheesy. - Yeah, definitely stop. 1275 01:09:50,287 --> 01:09:53,788 So I've looked everywhere and I can't find him. 1276 01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:55,524 Aw! 1277 01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:59,661 I think it safe to say that your baby's gone. 1278 01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,266 Have you considered adoption maybe? 1279 01:10:06,736 --> 01:10:10,738 I mean no, I, I thought I'd find him on the plane, you know? 1280 01:10:10,740 --> 01:10:13,641 Right. That's horrible. 1281 01:10:14,411 --> 01:10:15,877 Well, here's some good news. 1282 01:10:16,813 --> 01:10:18,713 When that plane was going down 1283 01:10:18,715 --> 01:10:20,381 and I thought we were all dead, 1284 01:10:21,251 --> 01:10:24,819 I had one split second to ejaculate into this Tupperware 1285 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,422 so I could let my seed live on. 1286 01:10:27,924 --> 01:10:29,524 I made this out of my penis. 1287 01:10:29,926 --> 01:10:32,860 Put it in your vagina, make a new baby. 1288 01:10:34,231 --> 01:10:37,565 Oh my god, this is the nicest thing 1289 01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:39,300 any man's ever done for me. 1290 01:10:39,302 --> 01:10:40,302 It's pretty great. 1291 01:10:42,872 --> 01:10:43,871 - Thank you. - Yeah. 1292 01:10:43,872 --> 01:10:45,432 But it still doesn't bring my baby back. 1293 01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:47,308 What your old baby? 1294 01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:49,577 - Yeah. - This is a brand new baby. 1295 01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:52,513 You ungrateful bitch. 1296 01:10:52,515 --> 01:10:54,749 Give me my seed back you don't deserve it. 1297 01:10:55,018 --> 01:10:56,451 You do not deserve... 1298 01:10:57,654 --> 01:11:01,856 No I'm sorry, spit it out, spit it out put it back in my vagina. 1299 01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:04,292 - Too late! It's too late! - I'm sorry! 1300 01:11:04,294 --> 01:11:05,727 You've wasted my seed! 1301 01:11:05,729 --> 01:11:10,398 No, I'm sorry, put it back in my vagina please. 1302 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:11,666 Please, please. 1303 01:11:11,668 --> 01:11:17,939 It's going back into my penis, I can feel it. 1304 01:11:18,375 --> 01:11:21,276 I have nothing else to live for. 1305 01:11:21,544 --> 01:11:23,411 I'm getting hard! 1306 01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:25,647 I guess this is goodbye. 1307 01:11:25,649 --> 01:11:28,616 Yup, I hope everything works out with your girlfriend. 1308 01:11:29,686 --> 01:11:30,686 That was really brave. 1309 01:11:30,854 --> 01:11:33,021 - Come here. - Bye. 1310 01:11:33,490 --> 01:11:35,857 Thank you so much, I woke up on the toilet. 1311 01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:36,758 Jenna wait. 1312 01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:37,992 Thank you so much. 1313 01:11:39,596 --> 01:11:40,762 I don't even know you people. 1314 01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:42,397 - I'm your brother. - I know you. 1315 01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:53,441 Okay, here we go. 1316 01:11:58,615 --> 01:11:59,615 You're excited? 1317 01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:03,685 - Yeah. - This is it, right? 1318 01:12:03,687 --> 01:12:04,752 This is it. This is it. 1319 01:12:09,025 --> 01:12:10,425 Are you sure about this? 1320 01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:14,595 I've never been so sure about anything in my life. 1321 01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:17,866 Logan! 1322 01:12:18,702 --> 01:12:20,535 Eh, yeah, it's me. 1323 01:12:20,770 --> 01:12:22,070 Er, I'm Logan. 1324 01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:25,373 Wait, you're not Logan. 1325 01:12:26,476 --> 01:12:28,643 - You sound different. - Yeah. 1326 01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:32,714 I'm his foreign exchange brother Juanpa. 1327 01:12:33,016 --> 01:12:34,882 - Mexico. - So? 1328 01:12:35,919 --> 01:12:37,085 And I have an accent. 1329 01:12:43,026 --> 01:12:46,060 What? No, no, I can't understand you though. 1330 01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:47,628 Can you say that again? 1331 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,665 One more time, just, just say it one more time. 1332 01:12:54,003 --> 01:12:57,638 Okay, okay, don't say anything cheesy. 1333 01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:02,076 Jenna? It took me traveling half way around the world to realize 1334 01:13:02,078 --> 01:13:04,512 - that I love you. - I'm sorry your accent is just gnarly, 1335 01:13:04,514 --> 01:13:05,980 can you please just repeat yourself? 1336 01:13:05,982 --> 01:13:08,383 Okay, uh, I guess you worked out 1337 01:13:08,385 --> 01:13:09,625 everything with your boyfriend. 1338 01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:12,854 Oh, yeah, the guac is extra, 1339 01:13:12,856 --> 01:13:14,589 I got it, I got it, I got it. 1340 01:13:14,791 --> 01:13:18,059 Who was that guy, he's fucking hot. 1341 01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:24,165 You're gay, you're a gay man, yeah! 1342 01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:26,634 Oh my god, so are you. 1343 01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,137 - No, no, I'm, I'm here for her, so. - Logan? 1344 01:13:29,139 --> 01:13:31,572 But, but, but just one kiss, that's all I ask. 1345 01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:34,075 Okay, fine, but then you have to leave. 1346 01:13:35,979 --> 01:13:37,779 Now get out. 1347 01:13:38,181 --> 01:13:39,480 Wait, how did you hear my thoughts? 1348 01:13:46,456 --> 01:13:48,990 Whoa yeah, I guess I always thought you were a little bit... 1349 01:14:01,571 --> 01:14:03,471 - Yeah, take it off. - Yeah. 1350 01:14:03,473 --> 01:14:05,139 - Hurry up. - I will, I will. 1351 01:14:05,141 --> 01:14:07,208 Oh yeah. I'm going there. 1352 01:14:07,210 --> 01:14:09,076 - Oh yeah. - Hurry up. 1353 01:14:09,746 --> 01:14:12,747 - Why can't you get it off? - Yeah, yeah I got it. 1354 01:14:13,716 --> 01:14:16,784 - Is... er... aw... Wait, stop. - Trying. 1355 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,920 - Is this the right hole? - No, no, 1356 01:14:18,922 --> 01:14:20,655 - no, no. - No, no? Yes? 1357 01:14:20,657 --> 01:14:22,123 - No? Okay, yeah. - There it is, yeah. 1358 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,791 - Yeah, no, this one? - Yeah, right there. 1359 01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:25,226 Okay, okay, okay. 1360 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:28,563 Juanpa, Juanpa. 1361 01:14:28,565 --> 01:14:30,731 Oh, oh this feels amazing. 1362 01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:33,568 - I love your accent. - I love your accent. 1363 01:14:33,570 --> 01:14:35,236 Talk dirty to me in Mexican. 1364 01:14:35,238 --> 01:14:37,118 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1365 01:14:55,992 --> 01:14:57,925 Wait I, I have to know. 1366 01:14:57,927 --> 01:14:59,727 What happened, like, did she have a penis? 1367 01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:05,500 What the fuck? 1368 01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:08,069 Daddy, I thought you were gone. 1369 01:15:08,538 --> 01:15:13,174 Oh my god, your dad is black. I mean that's, that's cool, he's black. 1370 01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:15,977 I can't stop, I can't stop. 1371 01:15:19,616 --> 01:15:22,016 Daddy you have... 1372 01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:23,918 - Your dad's black. - I'm adopted. 1373 01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:27,288 Oh my god, I'm adopted too, we have so much in common. 1374 01:15:27,290 --> 01:15:29,524 Swear I'm gonna kill your dumb ass. 1375 01:15:29,526 --> 01:15:30,925 I love you, Juanpa. 1376 01:15:30,927 --> 01:15:32,793 It's pronounced Juanpa. 1377 01:15:32,795 --> 01:15:33,895 I'm whooping your ass. 1378 01:15:33,897 --> 01:15:35,530 Run Juanpa, run. 1379 01:15:35,532 --> 01:15:38,099 Daddy stop, run, go, go. 1380 01:15:42,972 --> 01:15:44,906 Get it off, please! 1381 01:15:49,312 --> 01:15:51,712 I love you, Juanpa. 1382 01:15:53,249 --> 01:15:56,117 - I love you my awesome princess. - You're just like your mother. 1383 01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:57,885 - I love you so much. - Put some clothes on. 1384 01:15:57,887 --> 01:16:00,187 - I have clothes on. - Nice to meet you, sir. 1385 01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:03,090 I'm gonna cut your dick off and feed it to the drop bears. 1386 01:16:03,092 --> 01:16:04,792 Motherfucker I'm going to kill you. 1387 01:16:04,794 --> 01:16:06,994 - Daddy, stop it. - Get back here. 1388 01:16:06,996 --> 01:16:09,964 Run, Juanpa run! 1389 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,900 Well not bad. 1390 01:16:13,303 --> 01:16:17,171 ♪ Jungle life I'm living in the open ♪ 1391 01:16:17,774 --> 01:16:21,676 ♪ Native beat that carries on ♪ 1392 01:16:22,145 --> 01:16:25,613 ♪ Burning bright A fire that blows the... ♪ 1393 01:16:25,615 --> 01:16:27,915 Hey Mr. Kangaroo, I just had sex, 1394 01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:30,718 go tell all your kangaroo friends I just had sex. 1395 01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,720 Come on give me a fist bump. 1396 01:16:32,722 --> 01:16:34,355 Alright, let's go, let's go man, let's celebrate. 1397 01:16:34,357 --> 01:16:39,293 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1398 01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:42,930 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1399 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,133 Today we're gonna learn how to make a hang glider 1400 01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:48,769 out of cardboard, duct tape, and a chin up bar... 1401 01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:51,238 No one's gonna watch your stupid videos, Connor. 1402 01:16:53,610 --> 01:16:54,775 Logan Paul! 1403 01:16:54,777 --> 01:16:56,143 You're a fucking hero, Connor. 1404 01:16:56,145 --> 01:16:58,279 - Logan, I love you. - Shut up, Becky! 1405 01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,148 - Let's make that hang glider, buddy. - Yeah! 1406 01:17:04,854 --> 01:17:09,857 Argh! My femurs. Aw! I can see my bones! 1407 01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:13,628 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1408 01:17:13,630 --> 01:17:18,065 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1409 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:22,236 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1410 01:17:22,238 --> 01:17:27,308 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1411 01:17:29,646 --> 01:17:30,662 ♪ Night tonight ♪ 1412 01:17:30,663 --> 01:17:31,679 ♪ Give me the other Give me the other ♪ 1413 01:17:31,681 --> 01:17:32,681 ♪ Chance tonight ♪ 1414 01:17:34,017 --> 01:17:36,083 ♪ Give me the other Give me the other ♪ 1415 01:17:36,085 --> 01:17:37,718 ♪ Night to night ♪ 1416 01:17:38,287 --> 01:17:43,391 ♪ Give me the other Give me the other world! ♪ 1417 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:48,029 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 1418 01:17:57,373 --> 01:17:58,439 Ow! 1419 01:18:02,211 --> 01:18:03,878 Bitch, you saved my life. 106675