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00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:08,074
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
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00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:10,242
* i'm going down
To south park *
3
00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:11,977
* gonna have
Myself a time *
4
00:00:12,411 --> 00:00:13,713
* friendly faces
Everywhere *
5
00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:15,448
* humble folks
Without temptation *
6
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,749
* going down
To south park *
7
00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,918
* gonna leave my
Woes behind *
8
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,219
* ample parking
Day or night *
9
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:21,954
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
10
00:00:21,954 --> 00:00:23,255
* headed on up
To south park *
11
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,858
* gonna see if
I can't unwind *
12
00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,593
( * mumbling * )
13
00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:30,196
* so come on down
To south park *
14
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,364
* and meet some
Friends of mine **
15
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:36,502
( man over loudspeaker )
Ladies and gentlemen,
16
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,105
Give it up for jimmy !
17
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:39,972
Thank you.
18
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,273
Wow !
What a terrific audience.
19
00:00:41,707 --> 00:00:42,575
I know what most of you
Are thinking...
20
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:46,045
"hey, that guy
Stole my shoes."
21
00:00:47,346 --> 00:00:48,647
Wow, what a great audience.
22
00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:50,382
And how about
This michael jackson guy, huh ?
23
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:51,684
I mean, come on.
24
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,853
Wow, what
A great audience.
25
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,021
Uh...
26
00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,190
Lights please ?
27
00:00:59,925 --> 00:01:01,660
Hey, jimmy.
28
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,829
Butters,
Where is everybody ?
29
00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:05,564
Oh yeah,
Well, about that.
30
00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:08,167
Christopher reeve came to town
To do some kind of show
31
00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,902
And everyone
Went to seehim.
32
00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,203
Christopher reeve ?
33
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,938
Christopher reeve !
34
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:13,806
You know,
Christopher reeve,
35
00:01:13,806 --> 00:01:14,673
The guy
Who played superman.
36
00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,408
I know who he is,
37
00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,144
But why is everyone ditching
My comedy show to see him ?
38
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,445
Well, because
He got crippled
39
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,746
But now he can
Move his finger.
40
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,481
He's an inspiration
To us all.
41
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,650
That's why everyone
Ditched on your show.
42
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,385
So then how come
You came ?
43
00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:30,289
Well, because
I said i would.
44
00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:32,458
Aw, i'm a dork, huh ?
45
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:35,060
And so
Without further ado,
46
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:38,097
Here is the most courageous,
Most amazing man on the planet:
47
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:39,832
Christopher reeve.
48
00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:42,001
( cheer & applause )
49
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:48,073
Thank you, thank you,
Wow, what a great audience.
50
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,845
I just flew
Into south park.
51
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,014
Used to be i didn't
Need an airplane !
52
00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:57,183
( all )
Awww !
53
00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,653
As most of you know...
54
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:04,123
I am a strong supporter of
Stem-cell research.
55
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:04,990
Say, fellas,
56
00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:07,159
Thanks a lot for
Going to my comedy show !
57
00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:08,460
We didn't go
To your comedy show.
58
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:09,762
I know that !
59
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,931
I was being fac--
Fac-- facetious !
60
00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,666
Well, dude,
Christopher reeve, dude.
61
00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:14,967
Ooh, christopher reeve !
62
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,268
Whoop-dee
Freakin' do !
63
00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:17,570
Dude,
That's not cool.
64
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,871
You shouldn't make fun
Of christopher reeve.
65
00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:19,738
Yeah, dude,
Not cool.
66
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:22,775
Though it is
Controversial...
67
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:26,245
Stem-cell research
Is critical...
68
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:30,583
In the quest
For helping...
69
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,751
The disabled.
70
00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:34,053
I put together
A comedy show
71
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:36,222
And i was crippled
From birth !
72
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:39,258
Uh, guys, i think we better
Stay out of this one.
73
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:40,559
Yeah, this is
Starting to look like
74
00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:42,294
Something we shouldn't
Be any part of.
75
00:02:42,294 --> 00:02:43,596
Let's go play
With trucks or something.
76
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,764
Can you believe
This asswipe, timmy ?
77
00:02:45,764 --> 00:02:47,499
Timmy !
Why is a celebrity
Who became crippled
78
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,536
More important than us that
Were born that way, very much ?
79
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,837
Timmy !
80
00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:54,874
In the coming days...
81
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,042
I will prove
To the world
82
00:02:57,476 --> 00:03:00,946
That stem-cell research
Is a miracle.
83
00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,681
( imitating trucks )
84
00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:06,151
Hey there,
Fellas.
85
00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:07,887
Oh hey, jimmy,
Hey, timmy.
86
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,622
Say, would you guys
Like to join our club ?
87
00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:11,790
Oh, i'm sorry, you can't,
You aren't crippled.
88
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:13,525
Heh heh,
Ha, ha, ha.
89
00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:14,827
What ?
90
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:16,996
To be in our club not only
Do you have to be crippled,
91
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,731
But you have to have
Been born that way.
92
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,032
You know what that means ?
93
00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:22,201
No butthole-superman-asswipe
Christopher reeve !
94
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:23,936
That's nice, guys.
95
00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:26,105
We're just gonna
Stay out of this one.
96
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,840
Hey, wait a minute, you guys
Can't just start a club
97
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,141
And tell me
I can't be in it !
98
00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:30,876
Sorry, "able body"
You can't join.
99
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,177
Can too !
100
00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:33,479
Hey, timmy, how many
Able-bodied people
101
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,648
Does it take to screw in
A lightbulb ?
102
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:36,949
One !
103
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,118
You know what you call
An able-bodied guy
104
00:03:39,551 --> 00:03:40,419
On the doorstep ?
105
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:43,455
Whatever his name is.
106
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:45,624
Oh, goddammit !
107
00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:46,926
Cartman,
Just stay out of it.
108
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,661
But they say i can't
Be in their club !
109
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:49,528
Cartman, trust me
110
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:50,829
We don't want
Any part in this one.
111
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,601
Hello mr. Ma-- ma
Magillicutty.
112
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:57,770
Hello, boys, what
Can i do for you ?
113
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,372
Timmy and i have made a t-shirt
Design for our new club.
114
00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:02,541
We just came up
With the name this morning !
115
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:08,614
Uh, boys i don't think you
Want to wear these shirts.
116
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:09,915
Why not ?
117
00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:12,518
Well, because
There already is a group
118
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:13,819
That calls themselves
The crips
119
00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:15,554
And i don't think
They'd like it too much.
120
00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:18,590
There's already a crips ?
121
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:19,892
Well, sure,
122
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,193
They're all over
Five-points area in denver,
123
00:04:21,193 --> 00:04:22,494
You've never heard of them ?
124
00:04:22,494 --> 00:04:23,796
No, we never have !
125
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,097
Are they crippled
From birth
126
00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:27,266
Or are they cripple wanna-bes
Like christopher reeve ?
127
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,736
Ooh, i am staying out
Of this one.
128
00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:32,471
Can you believe it,
Timmy ?
129
00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:33,772
All this time
There was a group
130
00:04:33,772 --> 00:04:35,074
For truly crippled people
Like ourselves
131
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,375
And we didn't know it !
132
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:37,242
Timmy !
133
00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:38,544
Come on,
We gotta take the bus
134
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,713
To five points in denver !
135
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:41,580
My guest tonight
Is the brilliant star
136
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,749
Of stage and screen,
Mr. Christopher reeve,
137
00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,918
Who, with the help
Of stem-cell research,
138
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,087
Is now able to move
His arms.
139
00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:49,822
Thanks for having me
On again, larry.
140
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,557
All right, chris,
The whole world is waiting,
141
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:55,894
Why don't you show us what stem
Cell research has done for you ?
142
00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:57,629
( slight grunt )
143
00:04:58,063 --> 00:04:58,931
Amazing.
144
00:04:58,931 --> 00:04:59,798
Isn't that amazing, folks ?
145
00:04:59,798 --> 00:05:01,100
Now, chris, there's
Some people who say
146
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,835
Stem-cell research
Is wrong,
147
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,871
That taking cells from
A fetus is... Unethical.
148
00:05:05,871 --> 00:05:07,606
Well, it just proves
That the public
149
00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:10,209
Needs to be
Educated...
150
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,944
About stem-cell research.
151
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,414
See, the stem cells
From a fetus like this one
152
00:05:15,414 --> 00:05:18,017
Can form into whatever cells
Of the body are damaged.
153
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,619
They are the most powerful thing
On the planet.
154
00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:21,920
And now how does
Someone like yourself
155
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,655
Make use
Of the stem cells ?
156
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,824
Well, it's very simple.
157
00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:30,596
( slurping )
158
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:40,572
And now you can see
My arms have better movement.
159
00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:44,043
Wow-- wow !
160
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:47,079
( sirens, gunshots & screaming )
161
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,850
Excuse me, sir,
162
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,019
We're looking for a group of
People called "the crips".
163
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,188
You are ?
164
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:57,489
Do you know
Where they meet ?
165
00:05:57,923 --> 00:05:59,658
We've already tried
The rec center and the library.
166
00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:03,128
The crips hang out
In that old warehouse
Down there.
167
00:06:03,128 --> 00:06:05,297
But nobody goes in there.
168
00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:07,032
Oh, it's okay,
We're crips ourselves.
169
00:06:07,032 --> 00:06:07,900
Come on,
Tim, tim !
170
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,635
Timmy !
171
00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:13,105
( rap music playing )
172
00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:19,611
Well, hello everyone !
173
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:23,082
I'm jim swanson and
This is my friend, timmy.
174
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,684
Timmy !
175
00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:27,853
Uh... Timmy !
176
00:06:29,154 --> 00:06:31,323
Well, let us tell you
A little about ourselves.
177
00:06:31,323 --> 00:06:33,492
Timmy and i are both
True crips, born and raised.
178
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:35,227
We're the only crips in
South park, where we live,
179
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:39,131
And would love to join
Your fantastic denver chapter.
180
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,035
Is they for real, man ?
181
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,637
We just have one question
Before we join your club.
182
00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:47,806
Do you think it's better
To be born a crip,
183
00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:50,409
Or to become a crip
Later by accident ?
184
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,011
The only real crips
Was born crips, dawg !
185
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:56,048
Yeah, you can't become
A crip by accident, fool !
186
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,349
I agree.
187
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:59,084
I mean, it's like come on,
Why do all these people
188
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,385
Who become crips later in life
189
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,554
Think they have
Such great potatoes ?
190
00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:03,856
Timmy !
191
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:06,892
We're glad you see it
Our way, fellas.
192
00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:09,061
So can we
Join your group ?
193
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,230
All right, you wanna thug
With the five-points crips ?
194
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:12,531
Bitches, all you
Gotta do is
195
00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:13,832
Pop some
Punk-ass bloods.
196
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:17,302
Well, sure, tim and i would love
To pop some punk-ass bloods.
197
00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:19,037
We're terrific at it.
198
00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:20,339
Timmy ?
199
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:22,074
I don't know, timmy,
Just play along.
200
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:23,375
Timmy !
201
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:24,676
So you saying,
You're down ?
202
00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:25,978
Down like
A clown, charlie br--
203
00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,580
Down like a clown,
Charlie brrr--
204
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,617
Down like a clown,
Charlie bah, bah--
205
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,954
Down like a clown,
Charlie b-brown.
206
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:36,822
* kickin' it with
A nigga *
207
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:38,557
* why i have
His wife for dinna' *
208
00:07:38,557 --> 00:07:41,160
* another silly nigga
Wants to fight *
209
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,461
* well fightin'
Is for chumps *
210
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,196
* didn't ya know *
211
00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:45,063
* in the nine yo *
212
00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:46,798
* it's all about
The flow-flo *
213
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:49,401
* i can't stop it we're
Bad apples in a bunch-- **
214
00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:50,269
Say, timmy,
Did you notice
215
00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:52,437
That all the crippled people
In that club are negros ?
216
00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:55,040
Timmy !
That's an amazing
Coincidence.
217
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,076
I mean, there's not one crippled
Colored person in south park.
218
00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:01,980
Hey, you kids.
219
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,282
Well,
Hello, officers.
220
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:05,884
What the hell do you think
You're doing ?
221
00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,921
We're going to pop
Some punk-ass b-bloods.
222
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,523
Timmy !
223
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,066
Look, timmy, there's
A convenience store,
224
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,367
That must be what
The fellas meant
225
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,669
By "pop some punk-ass bloods",
226
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,404
They want us to get them
Some soda pop and treats !
227
00:08:25,837 --> 00:08:27,139
Oh, timmy !
228
00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:32,344
Let's buy them ginger ale
And marshmallows.
229
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,513
Then they'll let us
In the club for sure.
230
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,115
Oh sh-( beep ) !
231
00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:47,526
Suh, s-- s,
S-sunday driver.
232
00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:50,562
Yo yo, listen up,
Y'all.
233
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:53,599
Let me tell you bout my gs
Roller and four legs, here.
234
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,201
They just smoked
13 bloods in one night.
235
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:59,671
That ain't never
Been done before !
236
00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:02,708
And they got us marshmallows
And gingerale.
237
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,479
So does that mean
We can join the club ?
238
00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:08,780
You're not just in,
239
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,949
You're the baddest
Mo-fo crips in town.
240
00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,684
C-pop, turn up the beats
So we can celebrate
241
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,287
Our new gs
Five-point style.
242
00:09:15,287 --> 00:09:16,588
A'ight.
243
00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:20,492
Wow, these guys
Really are crippled.
244
00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:23,095
( rap music )
245
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:25,264
Timmy,
I have a feeling
246
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,866
This is the start
Of something wuh, w-wonderful.
247
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,167
Timmy !
248
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:37,843
Thanks for
The ride home, fellas !
249
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,144
We sure had
A terrific time.
250
00:09:39,144 --> 00:09:40,879
All right,
Keep it real, lil' dawgs.
251
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,614
You dawgs
Keep it real too.
252
00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:49,554
Timmy !
253
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,157
Well, that sure was
A terrific time.
254
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,458
Let's go all around tomorrow
255
00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:54,760
And show everyone
Our new outfits, timmy.
256
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,061
Timmy !
257
00:09:57,362 --> 00:09:58,664
There you are,
Jimmy !
258
00:09:58,664 --> 00:09:59,965
What up, masey,
Yo pops !
259
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,134
Jimmy, your mother was
Getting worried about you.
260
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,001
No need to worry
About me,
261
00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:04,303
I'm cool like a fool
262
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,905
In a swimming
P-- p-- p-pool.
263
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,375
Tom, i'm standing
Out front of
264
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,110
The stem-cell
Research facility
265
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:12,978
With terrific news.
266
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:15,147
Christopher reeve,
Who was once paralyzed,
267
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:17,749
Claims that
He can now stand.
268
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,051
Thank you, everyone.
269
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,653
To most people, this is
Just an ordinary fetus,
270
00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:24,690
But to people like me,
It's hope.
271
00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:27,726
( slurping )
272
00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:29,895
( oohing & ahhing )
273
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:36,835
Mmmm.
274
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:39,004
( cheers & applause )
275
00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,305
What an inspiration !
276
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:42,040
Tom, many celebrities
Have spoken out
277
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,775
In protest
Of stem-cell research,
278
00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:48,547
But after seeing this,
How can they protest now ?
279
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,848
( slurping )
280
00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:52,451
Stay clear, guys,
Stay clear.
281
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,619
Yup, i'm not
Saying anything.
282
00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:01,126
Hey.
283
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,861
Hey, i no want
No trouble !
284
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,162
Hello.
285
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,331
We'd like two orders of
Kung pao chicken, please.
286
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:07,199
I no want
No trouble !
287
00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:09,368
You just take what
You rant and reave !
288
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:10,235
Timmy !
289
00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,536
Aah ! Okay, okay !
290
00:11:11,536 --> 00:11:12,838
I'm opening
Register !
291
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:13,705
Timmy !
292
00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:15,006
What's that ?
293
00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:16,308
Oh, and one
Medium lemonade, please.
294
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,609
Timmy.
295
00:11:17,609 --> 00:11:18,477
Here !
Here $112 !
296
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,645
It's all i have,
You take !
297
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,947
Huh ?
298
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,116
You take !
$112 !
299
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,718
Are you sure ?
300
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:29,321
I no want no trouble,
Just take it and reave !
301
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,923
Well, gee, that's really
Nice of you mr. Chinese person.
302
00:11:31,923 --> 00:11:33,225
Look tim tim,
We got a cash prize.
303
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,827
We must be the 100th customer
Or something.
304
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:38,864
Here, here two order kung pao
Chicken and small iced tea.
305
00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:41,032
Actually, it was
A regular lemonade.
306
00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:43,201
Aaaghgh !
I sorry, i sorry !
307
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:46,671
I no want no trouble,
Here, remonade.
308
00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:47,973
Now go, just go !
309
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,142
Gee, thanks a lot,
See ya next time !
310
00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:51,443
Timmy !
311
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:55,781
Herro, porice ?
312
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,383
I just been robbed
By two gang members !
313
00:12:00,118 --> 00:12:00,986
Jimmy ?
314
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:04,022
Jimmy, could you come
Into the kitchen please ?
315
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,757
Yo, mamsy,
What's up, pops ?
316
00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:08,794
Have a seat, jim, your mother
And i need to talk to you.
317
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,697
( grunting )
318
00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:20,505
Son...
319
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:22,674
Your mother and i have noticed
A change in your behavior.
320
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:26,144
And... We're worried that you
Might be involved in a gang.
321
00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:27,012
A what ?
322
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:28,313
Oh, you mean
The fellas.
323
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:29,181
Well, sure.
324
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:30,482
But i can't talk
About the club
325
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:31,783
On a count of
It's super-secret, dawg.
326
00:12:31,783 --> 00:12:33,084
Then, it's true !
327
00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,820
Oh, ryan,
It's true !
328
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,555
Why you be
Trippin', mom ?
329
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:37,856
I mean, come on,
330
00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:39,157
I'm finally a part
Of something very much.
331
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:40,459
Jimmy, those people
You're hanging out with
332
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,760
Are no good.
333
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,495
Yo, don't be dissing
My niggas, dawg.
334
00:12:43,495 --> 00:12:45,664
They're my f-f-friends.
335
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:47,399
And what about
Your stand-up comedy, jim ?
336
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,568
Huh, are you just
Giving up on that too ?
337
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:50,869
Nobody cared about
My stand-up comedy !
338
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,038
All that hard work
Just to be outshined
339
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,640
By christopher reeve
The super butthole.
340
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,942
Jimmy, we've
Told you before,
341
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,110
God made you the way he did
For a reason.
342
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:00,412
Right, because
You and mom
343
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:02,147
Used to make fun of
Crippled kids in high school.
344
00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:03,014
That's right.
345
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:04,749
You were sent here
Through the vengeful
346
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,918
And angry hand of god to teach
Your mother and i a lesson.
347
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,087
And that's a big
Responsibility, son.
348
00:13:09,087 --> 00:13:10,822
Look, my gang,
Which i can't talk about
349
00:13:10,822 --> 00:13:12,123
Because it's super-secret,
350
00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:13,425
Is the most important thing
To me now.
351
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,726
And if you two
Don't like it,
352
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,329
You can just pass the blunt
To the nigga on your left.
353
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,233
( sobbing )
354
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,269
Where is that delivery
Of new fetuses ?
355
00:13:24,269 --> 00:13:26,438
I'm feeling weak again.
356
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,173
Here's the new
Shipment, sir.
357
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,547
Hello, there,
Christopher.
358
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,716
Well, well,
Gene hackman,
359
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,017
My old nemesis
From the movies !
360
00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:40,318
How are you ?
361
00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:42,053
I'm good and you ?
362
00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:44,222
I'm better with
Each passing day !
363
00:13:44,222 --> 00:13:45,957
Stronger and more agile !
364
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:46,825
( slurping )
365
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,126
Christopher,
366
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:50,729
I've come to ask you
To stop what you're doing.
367
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,898
What ?
368
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,500
Using stem cells
Is like playing god.
369
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:58,537
You should leave
Nature alone.
370
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,272
And go back
To the way i was ?
371
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,007
Is that what you're saying,
Hackman ?
372
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,308
I'm saying that sometimes
373
00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:05,043
You need to just
Live with the cards
374
00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:06,344
You're delt,
Christopher.
375
00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:07,646
Stop calling me
Christopher !
376
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,814
That name no longer
Has meaning to me.
377
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,550
Christopher was someone who
Lived in a wheelchair,
378
00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:14,152
Always being pushed
Around by others !
379
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:16,755
The old christopher reeve
Is dead !
380
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:19,357
From now on i am...
381
00:14:19,357 --> 00:14:21,092
Chris.
382
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:26,731
* 65 bottles of beer
On the wall... *
383
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:32,370
Payback time,
Mother ( beep ) !
384
00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:34,539
Jesus christ !
385
00:14:38,009 --> 00:14:39,744
Holy guacamole !
386
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,516
Freakin' frijoles !
387
00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:50,589
Leapin' lengosta !
388
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,625
Eastside bloods !
389
00:14:57,095 --> 00:14:58,396
We're detectives hyde
And richardson
390
00:14:58,396 --> 00:14:59,698
From the special
Gang unit in denver.
391
00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:00,999
Any word on
Who shot up
392
00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:02,300
Me and timmy's houses,
Officers ?
393
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,602
Word on the street
Is it was
394
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:05,337
A retaliation hit
By the bloods.
395
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,638
The bloods ?
396
00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,807
You know, smart mouth,
Your rival gang.
397
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,542
The bloods are at war
With the crips.
398
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,277
They kill
Each other all time.
399
00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:13,144
They do ?
400
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:14,446
Don't act like
You don't know,
401
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:15,313
You little punk !
402
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:17,048
The crips and bloods
Hate each other
403
00:15:17,048 --> 00:15:19,217
And if you stay in that gang,
You're gonna end up dead too.
404
00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,518
But why do they
Hate each other ?
405
00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:22,687
Look, kid, i used to be
A crip myself,
406
00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:23,989
But i'm not anymore !
407
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,591
Oh, so you used stem cells
Like christopher reeve ?
408
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,326
Come on,
The only way these kids
409
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,929
Are gonna get out of
Their gang is to get killed.
410
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:32,664
( weeping )
411
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:33,965
Sarah !
412
00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,266
Oh boy, timmy,
413
00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:36,134
We should have never
Started a gang
414
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:37,869
For people
Crippled from birth,
415
00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:38,737
Now they're at war
With the people
416
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,038
Who were crippled
In an accident.
417
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,339
Boy, were we wrong.
418
00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:42,641
Tim-my.
419
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,809
Wow, we've got to
Do something, timmy.
420
00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:46,978
We've got to get the crips
And bloods to stop fighting !
421
00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:48,279
I bet if we could
Just get them together.
422
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:50,448
But how ?
423
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,750
Wait a minute,
I've got it !
424
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,051
A lock-in
At the rec center.
425
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:54,352
We did it
For our church once.
426
00:15:54,352 --> 00:15:56,087
All we do is rent out
The rec center overnight.
427
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:57,389
They lock the doors
So nobody can leave
428
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,124
And everyone has the whole night
To play in the swimming pool,
429
00:15:59,557 --> 00:15:59,991
And laugh and talk.
430
00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:01,292
Timmy !
431
00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:02,160
You get all
The crips you can
432
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:03,461
To the rec center
Tomorrow night,
433
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,763
Timmy, and i'll try
To get all the bloods there !
434
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:05,630
Timmy !
435
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,365
This is gonna be
T-terrific !
436
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:10,902
Tom, several years ago
Actor christopher reeve
437
00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:13,071
Had a horrible accident
And was paralyzed.
438
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:14,806
The irony, of course,
Was that the man
439
00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,842
Who played superman
Could no longer walk.
440
00:16:17,842 --> 00:16:19,144
America watched in wonder
As he managed
441
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,746
To move one of his fingers,
Then his arms, and now,
442
00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,915
Seen for the first time
On h-b-c, christopher reeve
443
00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:27,385
Is going to lift a truck
Up over his head.
444
00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,892
Oh, what a fighter.
445
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,627
That brave,
Brave man.
446
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,362
He's an inspiration
To us all.
447
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:39,964
Tom, the irony
Is even more irony-y,
448
00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:42,567
As it appears the stem cells
Have given christopher reeve
449
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,736
Almost super-human strength.
450
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:45,603
Chris,
That's enough.
451
00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:49,074
Hello, gene,
So good to see you.
452
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:49,941
You're cured, chris.
453
00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:51,676
It's time to stop
Using stem cells.
454
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,411
Stem-cell research
Has made me stronger
455
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,146
Than i ever
Thought possible !
456
00:16:55,146 --> 00:16:56,014
Why stop now ?
457
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,183
Uh, tom,
Apparently gene hackman,
458
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,050
The man who played
Superman's enemy,
459
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,351
Lex luthor in the movies,
460
00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,520
Has now shown up
As a celebrity protester
461
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:03,822
Of stem-cell research.
462
00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:06,424
If that isn't ironic, tom,
I don't know what is.
463
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,159
They're affecting
Your mind, chris.
464
00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:09,461
If you won't
Stop using stem cells,
465
00:17:09,894 --> 00:17:11,629
Then we'll stop you.
466
00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:13,364
Stop me ?
467
00:17:13,364 --> 00:17:14,666
Stop me ? Ha !
468
00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:23,341
You won't stop me,
Hack-man !
469
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:25,510
( cackling )
470
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,848
Tom, if irony were made of
Strawberries,
471
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:33,318
We'd all be drinking a lot
Of smoothies right now.
472
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:36,788
Come on in, everybody,
473
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,390
Lots of surprises
And treats inside.
474
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:42,427
Great to see you all,
What a terrific audience.
475
00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:45,029
You sure you got everything
You need, young man ?
476
00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:47,632
We sure do,
Thanks, mr. Applebee.
477
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:48,500
Just remember
To make sure
478
00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:51,102
The kids play it safe
In the pool area.
479
00:17:51,102 --> 00:17:51,970
You bet.
480
00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:53,705
I'll be back at seven
To let you out.
481
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,440
You kids have a good time.
482
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,175
Oh, we will.
483
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,549
The bloods !
484
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:05,850
Oh ( beep ),
It's a trap!
485
00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:06,718
Mother ( beep ) crips
486
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,019
Trying to smoke us
All out !
487
00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:09,754
What the hell
Is going on here ?
488
00:18:10,188 --> 00:18:11,489
It's called a lock-in
At the rec center.
489
00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:13,224
We can use all
The rec center facilities.
490
00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:14,526
We can play basketball,
Go swimming
491
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,827
Or even just kick it
In the lounge area
492
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,562
With games and puzzles.
493
00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:18,863
Timmy !
494
00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,598
But nobody can leave
Until seven a.m.
495
00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:21,900
So if you want
To have a good time,
496
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,068
You're all just gonna have
To learn to get along.
497
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,045
* there's pizza ! *
498
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,081
Tom, over five years ago,
Doctors told actor
499
00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:39,684
Christopher reeve that
He would never walk again.
500
00:18:39,684 --> 00:18:40,985
But the resilient actor
Fought back,
501
00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:42,287
Struggled against all odds,
502
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:46,624
And has now built
His very own legion of doom.
503
00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:47,492
The once-immobile mr. Reeve
504
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,227
Says his new organization
Will be committed
505
00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:51,396
To world domination
And evil.
506
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,565
What an inspirational story,
Tom.
507
00:18:53,998 --> 00:18:56,167
I have chosen each member of
This elite group
508
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,204
Of super villains for
Their outstanding treachery,
509
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,372
Their desire
For world conquest
510
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,975
And their hatred
Of all things good.
511
00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:06,144
And i have assembled
This group for one purpose
512
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:07,879
To once and for all
513
00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:10,481
Find a way to...
514
00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:12,650
Get rid of hack-man !
515
00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:14,819
( cackling )
516
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:16,988
Uh...
517
00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:18,723
How about domination
Of the world ?
518
00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:21,326
Yeah, or death to
The infidels !
519
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,627
Silence !
520
00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:24,796
Our job is to see to it
That hack-man
521
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,531
Is put out of commission !
522
00:19:26,531 --> 00:19:27,832
Ooh boy,
General dissaray
523
00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:30,001
Maybe we just ought to
Stay out of this one.
524
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,170
Not so fast, chris.
525
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,471
Hack-man !
526
00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:36,074
We've just helped pass a ban
On stem-cell research.
527
00:19:36,507 --> 00:19:38,676
Your fetus-sucking days
Are over !
528
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:40,845
No, no !
529
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,146
And now we're going
To put you somewhere
530
00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:46,050
Where you can never touch
Another fetus again !
531
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,352
You stupid mo-fos
Are dead !
532
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,087
Make the first shot,
Punk !
533
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,822
Hold it !
534
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:52,557
Don't you see,
It doesn't matter
535
00:19:52,557 --> 00:19:55,159
If we were crippled from birth
Or crippled in an accident.
536
00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:56,461
We're all brothers !
537
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:58,630
Save it, fool,
Crips ain't our brothers!
538
00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:00,365
Look, we have the whole
Rec center to ourselves,
539
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,967
Can't we all just try
Having some fun together ?
540
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,269
You talkin'
Crazy, dawg !
541
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,004
Yeah, we ain't
Playin', sucker !
542
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,739
Why don't we at least
Give it a chance ?
543
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,474
I mean, come on.
544
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:14,245
Wait a minute,
What did you say ?
545
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:17,282
I said,
"i mean, come on."
546
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:19,884
You know,
Maybe he's right.
547
00:20:20,318 --> 00:20:22,487
I mean,come on.
548
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,788
Come on.
549
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,824
I guess we could at least give
Having fun together a try.
550
00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:28,126
It's like,come on.
551
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:29,861
Yeah, come on.
552
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,162
Yeah, that's right,
Come on.
553
00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:33,765
( all )
Come on.
554
00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,801
( rap music playing )
555
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,043
Gotta give you
Two dawgs props
556
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,344
For puttin' an end
To all this hatin'.
557
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,513
I told you, lock-in
At the rec center always works.
558
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:50,248
And you know,
I've learned something too,
559
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,417
I was player-hatin'
Christopher butthole reeve
560
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,718
Because he got more attention
Than me
561
00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:55,019
But just like you guys,
562
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:57,622
I need to learn
To control my anger.
563
00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,923
Right on.
564
00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:01,526
Hey, lil' roller, try
Some of this chronic ( beep ).
565
00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:02,827
Timmy !
566
00:21:04,996 --> 00:21:06,297
Well, i guess we all learned
That trying to get along
567
00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:08,900
Is way better
Than p-player hatin'.
568
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,069
The gang wrote a song about it,
Why don't we listen in ?
569
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:12,370
* used to
Be crips and bloods *
570
00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:13,671
* didn't get along *
571
00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:15,840
* but now we're all a family
And so we wrote this song *
572
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,443
* na na na
Crips and bloods *
573
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,611
* na na na hope and love *
574
00:21:21,045 --> 00:21:23,214
* na na na
Friendly thugs **
575
00:21:24,515 --> 00:21:26,250
( christopher )
You haven't seen
576
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,552
The last of me,
Hack-man !
577
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,154
I will be backkkk !
578
00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:34,058
Dude, i am so glad
We stayed out of that one.
579
00:21:34,058 --> 00:21:35,360
Meeee too !
580
00:21:37,962 --> 00:21:40,565
Captioning made possible by
Comedy central
581
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:43,167
Captioned by
Soundwriters
38509
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