1 00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:08,074 Captioning made possible by Comedy central 2 00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:10,242 * i'm going down To south park * 3 00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:11,977 * gonna have Myself a time * 4 00:00:12,411 --> 00:00:13,713 * friendly faces Everywhere * 5 00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:15,448 * humble folks Without temptation * 6 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,749 * going down To south park * 7 00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,918 * gonna leave my Woes behind * 8 00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,219 * ample parking Day or night * 9 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:21,954 * people spouting "howdy neighbor" * 10 00:00:21,954 --> 00:00:23,255 * headed on up To south park * 11 00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,858 * gonna see if I can't unwind * 12 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,593 ( * mumbling * ) 13 00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:30,196 * so come on down To south park * 14 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,364 * and meet some Friends of mine ** 15 00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:36,502 ( man over loudspeaker ) Ladies and gentlemen, 16 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,105 Give it up for jimmy ! 17 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:39,972 Thank you. 18 00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,273 Wow ! What a terrific audience. 19 00:00:41,707 --> 00:00:42,575 I know what most of you Are thinking... 20 00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:46,045 "hey, that guy Stole my shoes." 21 00:00:47,346 --> 00:00:48,647 Wow, what a great audience. 22 00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:50,382 And how about This michael jackson guy, huh ? 23 00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:51,684 I mean, come on. 24 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,853 Wow, what A great audience. 25 00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,021 Uh... 26 00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,190 Lights please ? 27 00:00:59,925 --> 00:01:01,660 Hey, jimmy. 28 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,829 Butters, Where is everybody ? 29 00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:05,564 Oh yeah, Well, about that. 30 00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:08,167 Christopher reeve came to town To do some kind of show 31 00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,902 And everyone Went to seehim. 32 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,203 Christopher reeve ? 33 00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,938 Christopher reeve ! 34 00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:13,806 You know, Christopher reeve, 35 00:01:13,806 --> 00:01:14,673 The guy Who played superman. 36 00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,408 I know who he is, 37 00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:18,144 But why is everyone ditching My comedy show to see him ? 38 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,445 Well, because He got crippled 39 00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,746 But now he can Move his finger. 40 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,481 He's an inspiration To us all. 41 00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,650 That's why everyone Ditched on your show. 42 00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,385 So then how come You came ? 43 00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:30,289 Well, because I said i would. 44 00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:32,458 Aw, i'm a dork, huh ? 45 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:35,060 And so Without further ado, 46 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:38,097 Here is the most courageous, Most amazing man on the planet: 47 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:39,832 Christopher reeve. 48 00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:42,001 ( cheer and applause ) 49 00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:48,073 Thank you, thank you, Wow, what a great audience. 50 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,845 I just flew Into south park. 51 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,014 Used to be i didn't Need an airplane ! 52 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:57,183 ( all ) Awww ! 53 00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,653 As most of you know... 54 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:04,123 I am a strong supporter of Stem-cell research. 55 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:04,990 Say, fellas, 56 00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:07,159 Thanks a lot for Going to my comedy show ! 57 00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:08,460 We didn't go To your comedy show. 58 00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:09,762 I know that ! 59 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,931 I was being fac-- Fac-- facetious ! 60 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,666 Well, dude, Christopher reeve, dude. 61 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:14,967 Ooh, christopher reeve ! 62 00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,268 Whoop-dee Freakin' do ! 63 00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:17,570 Dude, That's not cool. 64 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,871 You shouldn't make fun Of christopher reeve. 65 00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:19,738 Yeah, dude, Not cool. 66 00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:22,775 Though it is Controversial... 67 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:26,245 Stem-cell research Is critical... 68 00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:30,583 In the quest For helping... 69 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,751 The disabled. 70 00:02:33,185 --> 00:02:34,053 I put together A comedy show 71 00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:36,222 And i was crippled From birth ! 72 00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:39,258 Uh, guys, i think we better Stay out of this one. 73 00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:40,559 Yeah, this is Starting to look like 74 00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:42,294 Something we shouldn't Be any part of. 75 00:02:42,294 --> 00:02:43,596 Let's go play With trucks or something. 76 00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,764 Can you believe This asswipe, timmy ? 77 00:02:45,764 --> 00:02:47,499 Timmy ! Why is a celebrity Who became crippled 78 00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:50,536 More important than us that Were born that way, very much ? 79 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,837 Timmy ! 80 00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:54,874 In the coming days... 81 00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,042 I will prove To the world 82 00:02:57,476 --> 00:03:00,946 That stem-cell research Is a miracle. 83 00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,681 ( imitating trucks ) 84 00:03:05,284 --> 00:03:06,151 Hey there, Fellas. 85 00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:07,887 Oh hey, jimmy, Hey, timmy. 86 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,622 Say, would you guys Like to join our club ? 87 00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:11,790 Oh, i'm sorry, you can't, You aren't crippled. 88 00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:13,525 Heh heh, Ha, ha, ha. 89 00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:14,827 What ? 90 00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:16,996 To be in our club not only Do you have to be crippled, 91 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,731 But you have to have Been born that way. 92 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,032 You know what that means ? 93 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:22,201 No butthole-superman-asswipe Christopher reeve ! 94 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:23,936 That's nice, guys. 95 00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:26,105 We're just gonna Stay out of this one. 96 00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,840 Hey, wait a minute, you guys Can't just start a club 97 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,141 And tell me I can't be in it ! 98 00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:30,876 Sorry, "able body" You can't join. 99 00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,177 Can too ! 100 00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:33,479 Hey, timmy, how many Able-bodied people 101 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,648 Does it take to screw in A lightbulb ? 102 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:36,949 One ! 103 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,118 You know what you call An able-bodied guy 104 00:03:39,551 --> 00:03:40,419 On the doorstep ? 105 00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:43,455 Whatever his name is. 106 00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:45,624 Oh, goddammit ! 107 00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:46,926 Cartman, Just stay out of it. 108 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,661 But they say i can't Be in their club ! 109 00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:49,528 Cartman, trust me 110 00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:50,829 We don't want Any part in this one. 111 00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,601 Hello mr. Ma-- ma Magillicutty. 112 00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:57,770 Hello, boys, what Can i do for you ? 113 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,372 Timmy and i have made a t-shirt Design for our new club. 114 00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:02,541 We just came up With the name this morning ! 115 00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:08,614 Uh, boys i don't think you Want to wear these shirts. 116 00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:09,915 Why not ? 117 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:12,518 Well, because There already is a group 118 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:13,819 That calls themselves The crips 119 00:04:13,819 --> 00:04:15,554 And i don't think They'd like it too much. 120 00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:18,590 There's already a crips ? 121 00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:19,892 Well, sure, 122 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,193 They're all over Five-points area in denver, 123 00:04:21,193 --> 00:04:22,494 You've never heard of them ? 124 00:04:22,494 --> 00:04:23,796 No, we never have ! 125 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,097 Are they crippled From birth 126 00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:27,266 Or are they cripple wanna-bes Like christopher reeve ? 127 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,736 Ooh, i am staying out Of this one. 128 00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:32,471 Can you believe it, Timmy ? 129 00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:33,772 All this time There was a group 130 00:04:33,772 --> 00:04:35,074 For truly crippled people Like ourselves 131 00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,375 And we didn't know it ! 132 00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:37,242 Timmy ! 133 00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:38,544 Come on, We gotta take the bus 134 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,713 To five points in denver ! 135 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:41,580 My guest tonight Is the brilliant star 136 00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,749 Of stage and screen, Mr. Christopher reeve, 137 00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,918 Who, with the help Of stem-cell research, 138 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,087 Is now able to move His arms. 139 00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:49,822 Thanks for having me On again, larry. 140 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,557 All right, chris, The whole world is waiting, 141 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:55,894 Why don't you show us what stem Cell research has done for you ? 142 00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:57,629 ( slight grunt ) 143 00:04:58,063 --> 00:04:58,931 Amazing. 144 00:04:58,931 --> 00:04:59,798 Isn't that amazing, folks ? 145 00:04:59,798 --> 00:05:01,100 Now, chris, there's Some people who say 146 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,835 Stem-cell research Is wrong, 147 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,871 That taking cells from A fetus is... Unethical. 148 00:05:05,871 --> 00:05:07,606 Well, it just proves That the public 149 00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:10,209 Needs to be Educated... 150 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,944 About stem-cell research. 151 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,414 See, the stem cells From a fetus like this one 152 00:05:15,414 --> 00:05:18,017 Can form into whatever cells Of the body are damaged. 153 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,619 They are the most powerful thing On the planet. 154 00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:21,920 And now how does Someone like yourself 155 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,655 Make use Of the stem cells ? 156 00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,824 Well, it's very simple. 157 00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:30,596 ( slurping ) 158 00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:40,572 And now you can see My arms have better movement. 159 00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:44,043 Wow-- wow ! 160 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:47,079 ( sirens, gunshots and screaming ) 161 00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,850 Excuse me, sir, 162 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,019 We're looking for a group of People called "the crips". 163 00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,188 You are ? 164 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:57,489 Do you know Where they meet ? 165 00:05:57,923 --> 00:05:59,658 We've already tried The rec center and the library. 166 00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:03,128 The crips hang out In that old warehouse Down there. 167 00:06:03,128 --> 00:06:05,297 But nobody goes in there. 168 00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:07,032 Oh, it's okay, We're crips ourselves. 169 00:06:07,032 --> 00:06:07,900 Come on, Tim, tim ! 170 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,635 Timmy ! 171 00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:13,105 ( rap music playing ) 172 00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:19,611 Well, hello everyone ! 173 00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:23,082 I'm jim swanson and This is my friend, timmy. 174 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,684 Timmy ! 175 00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:27,853 Uh... Timmy ! 176 00:06:29,154 --> 00:06:31,323 Well, let us tell you A little about ourselves. 177 00:06:31,323 --> 00:06:33,492 Timmy and i are both True crips, born and raised. 178 00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:35,227 We're the only crips in South park, where we live, 179 00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:39,131 And would love to join Your fantastic denver chapter. 180 00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,035 Is they for real, man ? 181 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,637 We just have one question Before we join your club. 182 00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:47,806 Do you think it's better To be born a crip, 183 00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:50,409 Or to become a crip Later by accident ? 184 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,011 The only real crips Was born crips, dawg ! 185 00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:56,048 Yeah, you can't become A crip by accident, fool ! 186 00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,349 I agree. 187 00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:59,084 I mean, it's like come on, Why do all these people 188 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,385 Who become crips later in life 189 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,554 Think they have Such great potatoes ? 190 00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:03,856 Timmy ! 191 00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:06,892 We're glad you see it Our way, fellas. 192 00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:09,061 So can we Join your group ? 193 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,230 All right, you wanna thug With the five-points crips ? 194 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:12,531 Bitches, all you Gotta do is 195 00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:13,832 Pop some Punk-ass bloods. 196 00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:17,302 Well, sure, tim and i would love To pop some punk-ass bloods. 197 00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:19,037 We're terrific at it. 198 00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:20,339 Timmy ? 199 00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:22,074 I don't know, timmy, Just play along. 200 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:23,375 Timmy ! 201 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:24,676 So you saying, You're down ? 202 00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:25,978 Down like A clown, charlie br-- 203 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,580 Down like a clown, Charlie brrr-- 204 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,617 Down like a clown, Charlie bah, bah-- 205 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,954 Down like a clown, Charlie b-brown. 206 00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:36,822 * kickin' it with A nigga * 207 00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:38,557 * why i have His wife for dinna' * 208 00:07:38,557 --> 00:07:41,160 * another silly nigga Wants to fight * 209 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,461 * well fightin' Is for chumps * 210 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,196 * didn't ya know * 211 00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:45,063 * in the nine yo * 212 00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:46,798 * it's all about The flow-flo * 213 00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:49,401 * i can't stop it we're Bad apples in a bunch-- ** 214 00:07:49,401 --> 00:07:50,269 Say, timmy, Did you notice 215 00:07:50,702 --> 00:07:52,437 That all the crippled people In that club are negros ? 216 00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:55,040 Timmy ! That's an amazing Coincidence. 217 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,076 I mean, there's not one crippled Colored person in south park. 218 00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:01,980 Hey, you kids. 219 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,282 Well, Hello, officers. 220 00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:05,884 What the hell do you think You're doing ? 221 00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,921 We're going to pop Some punk-ass b-bloods. 222 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,523 Timmy ! 223 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,066 Look, timmy, there's A convenience store, 224 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,367 That must be what The fellas meant 225 00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,669 By "pop some punk-ass bloods", 226 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,404 They want us to get them Some soda pop and treats ! 227 00:08:25,837 --> 00:08:27,139 Oh, timmy ! 228 00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:32,344 Let's buy them ginger ale And marshmallows. 229 00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,513 Then they'll let us In the club for sure. 230 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,115 Oh sh-( beep ) ! 231 00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:47,526 Suh, s-- s, S-sunday driver. 232 00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:50,562 Yo yo, listen up, Y'all. 233 00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:53,599 Let me tell you bout my gs Roller and four legs, here. 234 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,201 They just smoked 13 bloods in one night. 235 00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:59,671 That ain't never Been done before ! 236 00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:02,708 And they got us marshmallows And gingerale. 237 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,479 So does that mean We can join the club ? 238 00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:08,780 You're not just in, 239 00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,949 You're the baddest Mo-fo crips in town. 240 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:12,684 C-pop, turn up the beats So we can celebrate 241 00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,287 Our new gs Five-point style. 242 00:09:15,287 --> 00:09:16,588 A'ight. 243 00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:20,492 Wow, these guys Really are crippled. 244 00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:23,095 ( rap music ) 245 00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:25,264 Timmy, I have a feeling 246 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,866 This is the start Of something wuh, w-wonderful. 247 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,167 Timmy ! 248 00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:37,843 Thanks for The ride home, fellas ! 249 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,144 We sure had A terrific time. 250 00:09:39,144 --> 00:09:40,879 All right, Keep it real, lil' dawgs. 251 00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,614 You dawgs Keep it real too. 252 00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:49,554 Timmy ! 253 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,157 Well, that sure was A terrific time. 254 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,458 Let's go all around tomorrow 255 00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:54,760 And show everyone Our new outfits, timmy. 256 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,061 Timmy ! 257 00:09:57,362 --> 00:09:58,664 There you are, Jimmy ! 258 00:09:58,664 --> 00:09:59,965 What up, masey, Yo pops ! 259 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,134 Jimmy, your mother was Getting worried about you. 260 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,001 No need to worry About me, 261 00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:04,303 I'm cool like a fool 262 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,905 In a swimming P-- p-- p-pool. 263 00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,375 Tom, i'm standing Out front of 264 00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,110 The stem-cell Research facility 265 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:12,978 With terrific news. 266 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:15,147 Christopher reeve, Who was once paralyzed, 267 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:17,749 Claims that He can now stand. 268 00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,051 Thank you, everyone. 269 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,653 To most people, this is Just an ordinary fetus, 270 00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:24,690 But to people like me, It's hope. 271 00:10:25,991 --> 00:10:27,726 ( slurping ) 272 00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:29,895 ( oohing and ahhing ) 273 00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:36,835 Mmmm. 274 00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:39,004 ( cheers and applause ) 275 00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,305 What an inspiration ! 276 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:42,040 Tom, many celebrities Have spoken out 277 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,775 In protest Of stem-cell research, 278 00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:48,547 But after seeing this, How can they protest now ? 279 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,848 ( slurping ) 280 00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:52,451 Stay clear, guys, Stay clear. 281 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,619 Yup, i'm not Saying anything. 282 00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:01,126 Hey. 283 00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,861 Hey, i no want No trouble ! 284 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,162 Hello. 285 00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,331 We'd like two orders of Kung pao chicken, please. 286 00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:07,199 I no want No trouble ! 287 00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:09,368 You just take what You rant and reave ! 288 00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:10,235 Timmy ! 289 00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,536 Aah ! Okay, okay ! 290 00:11:11,536 --> 00:11:12,838 I'm opening Register ! 291 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:13,705 Timmy ! 292 00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:15,006 What's that ? 293 00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:16,308 Oh, and one Medium lemonade, please. 294 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,609 Timmy. 295 00:11:17,609 --> 00:11:18,477 Here ! Here $112 ! 296 00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,645 It's all i have, You take ! 297 00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,947 Huh ? 298 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,116 You take ! $112 ! 299 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,718 Are you sure ? 300 00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:29,321 I no want no trouble, Just take it and reave ! 301 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,923 Well, gee, that's really Nice of you mr. Chinese person. 302 00:11:31,923 --> 00:11:33,225 Look tim tim, We got a cash prize. 303 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,827 We must be the 100th customer Or something. 304 00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:38,864 Here, here two order kung pao Chicken and small iced tea. 305 00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:41,032 Actually, it was A regular lemonade. 306 00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:43,201 Aaaghgh ! I sorry, i sorry ! 307 00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:46,671 I no want no trouble, Here, remonade. 308 00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:47,973 Now go, just go ! 309 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,142 Gee, thanks a lot, See ya next time ! 310 00:11:50,575 --> 00:11:51,443 Timmy ! 311 00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:55,781 Herro, porice ? 312 00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,383 I just been robbed By two gang members ! 313 00:12:00,118 --> 00:12:00,986 Jimmy ? 314 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:04,022 Jimmy, could you come Into the kitchen please ? 315 00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,757 Yo, mamsy, What's up, pops ? 316 00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:08,794 Have a seat, jim, your mother And i need to talk to you. 317 00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,697 ( grunting ) 318 00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:20,505 Son... 319 00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:22,674 Your mother and i have noticed A change in your behavior. 320 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:26,144 And... We're worried that you Might be involved in a gang. 321 00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:27,012 A what ? 322 00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:28,313 Oh, you mean The fellas. 323 00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:29,181 Well, sure. 324 00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:30,482 But i can't talk About the club 325 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:31,783 On a count of It's super-secret, dawg. 326 00:12:31,783 --> 00:12:33,084 Then, it's true ! 327 00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,820 Oh, ryan, It's true ! 328 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,555 Why you be Trippin', mom ? 329 00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:37,856 I mean, come on, 330 00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:39,157 I'm finally a part Of something very much. 331 00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:40,459 Jimmy, those people You're hanging out with 332 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,760 Are no good. 333 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,495 Yo, don't be dissing My niggas, dawg. 334 00:12:43,495 --> 00:12:45,664 They're my f-f-friends. 335 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:47,399 And what about Your stand-up comedy, jim ? 336 00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,568 Huh, are you just Giving up on that too ? 337 00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:50,869 Nobody cared about My stand-up comedy ! 338 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,038 All that hard work Just to be outshined 339 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,640 By christopher reeve The super butthole. 340 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,942 Jimmy, we've Told you before, 341 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,110 God made you the way he did For a reason. 342 00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:00,412 Right, because You and mom 343 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:02,147 Used to make fun of Crippled kids in high school. 344 00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:03,014 That's right. 345 00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:04,749 You were sent here Through the vengeful 346 00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,918 And angry hand of god to teach Your mother and i a lesson. 347 00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,087 And that's a big Responsibility, son. 348 00:13:09,087 --> 00:13:10,822 Look, my gang, Which i can't talk about 349 00:13:10,822 --> 00:13:12,123 Because it's super-secret, 350 00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:13,425 Is the most important thing To me now. 351 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,726 And if you two Don't like it, 352 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,329 You can just pass the blunt To the nigga on your left. 353 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,233 ( sobbing ) 354 00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,269 Where is that delivery Of new fetuses ? 355 00:13:24,269 --> 00:13:26,438 I'm feeling weak again. 356 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,173 Here's the new Shipment, sir. 357 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,547 Hello, there, Christopher. 358 00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,716 Well, well, Gene hackman, 359 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,017 My old nemesis From the movies ! 360 00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:40,318 How are you ? 361 00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:42,053 I'm good and you ? 362 00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:44,222 I'm better with Each passing day ! 363 00:13:44,222 --> 00:13:45,957 Stronger and more agile ! 364 00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:46,825 ( slurping ) 365 00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,126 Christopher, 366 00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:50,729 I've come to ask you To stop what you're doing. 367 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,898 What ? 368 00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,500 Using stem cells Is like playing god. 369 00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:58,537 You should leave Nature alone. 370 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,272 And go back To the way i was ? 371 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,007 Is that what you're saying, Hackman ? 372 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,308 I'm saying that sometimes 373 00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:05,043 You need to just Live with the cards 374 00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:06,344 You're delt, Christopher. 375 00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:07,646 Stop calling me Christopher ! 376 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,814 That name no longer Has meaning to me. 377 00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,550 Christopher was someone who Lived in a wheelchair, 378 00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:14,152 Always being pushed Around by others ! 379 00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:16,755 The old christopher reeve Is dead ! 380 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:19,357 From now on i am... 381 00:14:19,357 --> 00:14:21,092 Chris. 382 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:26,731 * 65 bottles of beer On the wall... * 383 00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:32,370 Payback time, Mother ( beep ) ! 384 00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:34,539 Jesus christ ! 385 00:14:38,009 --> 00:14:39,744 Holy guacamole ! 386 00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,516 Freakin' frijoles ! 387 00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:50,589 Leapin' lengosta ! 388 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,625 Eastside bloods ! 389 00:14:57,095 --> 00:14:58,396 We're detectives hyde And richardson 390 00:14:58,396 --> 00:14:59,698 From the special Gang unit in denver. 391 00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:00,999 Any word on Who shot up 392 00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:02,300 Me and timmy's houses, Officers ? 393 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,602 Word on the street Is it was 394 00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:05,337 A retaliation hit By the bloods. 395 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,638 The bloods ? 396 00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,807 You know, smart mouth, Your rival gang. 397 00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,542 The bloods are at war With the crips. 398 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,277 They kill Each other all time. 399 00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:13,144 They do ? 400 00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:14,446 Don't act like You don't know, 401 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:15,313 You little punk ! 402 00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:17,048 The crips and bloods Hate each other 403 00:15:17,048 --> 00:15:19,217 And if you stay in that gang, You're gonna end up dead too. 404 00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,518 But why do they Hate each other ? 405 00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:22,687 Look, kid, i used to be A crip myself, 406 00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:23,989 But i'm not anymore ! 407 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,591 Oh, so you used stem cells Like christopher reeve ? 408 00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,326 Come on, The only way these kids 409 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,929 Are gonna get out of Their gang is to get killed. 410 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:32,664 ( weeping ) 411 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:33,965 Sarah ! 412 00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,266 Oh boy, timmy, 413 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:36,134 We should have never Started a gang 414 00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:37,869 For people Crippled from birth, 415 00:15:37,869 --> 00:15:38,737 Now they're at war With the people 416 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,038 Who were crippled In an accident. 417 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,339 Boy, were we wrong. 418 00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:42,641 Tim-my. 419 00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,809 Wow, we've got to Do something, timmy. 420 00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:46,978 We've got to get the crips And bloods to stop fighting ! 421 00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:48,279 I bet if we could Just get them together. 422 00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:50,448 But how ? 423 00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,750 Wait a minute, I've got it ! 424 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,051 A lock-in At the rec center. 425 00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:54,352 We did it For our church once. 426 00:15:54,352 --> 00:15:56,087 All we do is rent out The rec center overnight. 427 00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:57,389 They lock the doors So nobody can leave 428 00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,124 And everyone has the whole night To play in the swimming pool, 429 00:15:59,557 --> 00:15:59,991 And laugh and talk. 430 00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:01,292 Timmy ! 431 00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:02,160 You get all The crips you can 432 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:03,461 To the rec center Tomorrow night, 433 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,763 Timmy, and i'll try To get all the bloods there ! 434 00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:05,630 Timmy ! 435 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,365 This is gonna be T-terrific ! 436 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:10,902 Tom, several years ago Actor christopher reeve 437 00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:13,071 Had a horrible accident And was paralyzed. 438 00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:14,806 The irony, of course, Was that the man 439 00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,842 Who played superman Could no longer walk. 440 00:16:17,842 --> 00:16:19,144 America watched in wonder As he managed 441 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,746 To move one of his fingers, Then his arms, and now, 442 00:16:21,746 --> 00:16:23,915 Seen for the first time On h-b-c, christopher reeve 443 00:16:24,349 --> 00:16:27,385 Is going to lift a truck Up over his head. 444 00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,892 Oh, what a fighter. 445 00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:35,627 That brave, Brave man. 446 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,362 He's an inspiration To us all. 447 00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:39,964 Tom, the irony Is even more irony-y, 448 00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:42,567 As it appears the stem cells Have given christopher reeve 449 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,736 Almost super-human strength. 450 00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:45,603 Chris, That's enough. 451 00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:49,074 Hello, gene, So good to see you. 452 00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:49,941 You're cured, chris. 453 00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:51,676 It's time to stop Using stem cells. 454 00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,411 Stem-cell research Has made me stronger 455 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,146 Than i ever Thought possible ! 456 00:16:55,146 --> 00:16:56,014 Why stop now ? 457 00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,183 Uh, tom, Apparently gene hackman, 458 00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,050 The man who played Superman's enemy, 459 00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,351 Lex luthor in the movies, 460 00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,520 Has now shown up As a celebrity protester 461 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:03,822 Of stem-cell research. 462 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:06,424 If that isn't ironic, tom, I don't know what is. 463 00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,159 They're affecting Your mind, chris. 464 00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:09,461 If you won't Stop using stem cells, 465 00:17:09,894 --> 00:17:11,629 Then we'll stop you. 466 00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:13,364 Stop me ? 467 00:17:13,364 --> 00:17:14,666 Stop me ? Ha ! 468 00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:23,341 You won't stop me, Hack-man ! 469 00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:25,510 ( cackling ) 470 00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,848 Tom, if irony were made of Strawberries, 471 00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:33,318 We'd all be drinking a lot Of smoothies right now. 472 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:36,788 Come on in, everybody, 473 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,390 Lots of surprises And treats inside. 474 00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:42,427 Great to see you all, What a terrific audience. 475 00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:45,029 You sure you got everything You need, young man ? 476 00:17:45,463 --> 00:17:47,632 We sure do, Thanks, mr. Applebee. 477 00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:48,500 Just remember To make sure 478 00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:51,102 The kids play it safe In the pool area. 479 00:17:51,102 --> 00:17:51,970 You bet. 480 00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:53,705 I'll be back at seven To let you out. 481 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,440 You kids have a good time. 482 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,175 Oh, we will. 483 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,549 The bloods ! 484 00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:05,850 Oh ( beep ), It's a trap! 485 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:06,718 Mother ( beep ) crips 486 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,019 Trying to smoke us All out ! 487 00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:09,754 What the hell Is going on here ? 488 00:18:10,188 --> 00:18:11,489 It's called a lock-in At the rec center. 489 00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:13,224 We can use all The rec center facilities. 490 00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:14,526 We can play basketball, Go swimming 491 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,827 Or even just kick it In the lounge area 492 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,562 With games and puzzles. 493 00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:18,863 Timmy ! 494 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,598 But nobody can leave Until seven a.m. 495 00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:21,900 So if you want To have a good time, 496 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,068 You're all just gonna have To learn to get along. 497 00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,045 * there's pizza ! * 498 00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,081 Tom, over five years ago, Doctors told actor 499 00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:39,684 Christopher reeve that He would never walk again. 500 00:18:39,684 --> 00:18:40,985 But the resilient actor Fought back, 501 00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:42,287 Struggled against all odds, 502 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:46,624 And has now built His very own legion of doom. 503 00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:47,492 The once-immobile mr. Reeve 504 00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,227 Says his new organization Will be committed 505 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:51,396 To world domination And evil. 506 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,565 What an inspirational story, Tom. 507 00:18:53,998 --> 00:18:56,167 I have chosen each member of This elite group 508 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,204 Of super villains for Their outstanding treachery, 509 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,372 Their desire For world conquest 510 00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,975 And their hatred Of all things good. 511 00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:06,144 And i have assembled This group for one purpose 512 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:07,879 To once and for all 513 00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:10,481 Find a way to... 514 00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:12,650 Get rid of hack-man ! 515 00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:14,819 ( cackling ) 516 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:16,988 Uh... 517 00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:18,723 How about domination Of the world ? 518 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:21,326 Yeah, or death to The infidels ! 519 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,627 Silence ! 520 00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:24,796 Our job is to see to it That hack-man 521 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,531 Is put out of commission ! 522 00:19:26,531 --> 00:19:27,832 Ooh boy, General dissaray 523 00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:30,001 Maybe we just ought to Stay out of this one. 524 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,170 Not so fast, chris. 525 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,471 Hack-man ! 526 00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:36,074 We've just helped pass a ban On stem-cell research. 527 00:19:36,507 --> 00:19:38,676 Your fetus-sucking days Are over ! 528 00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:40,845 No, no ! 529 00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,146 And now we're going To put you somewhere 530 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:46,050 Where you can never touch Another fetus again ! 531 00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,352 You stupid mo-fos Are dead ! 532 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,087 Make the first shot, Punk ! 533 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,822 Hold it ! 534 00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:52,557 Don't you see, It doesn't matter 535 00:19:52,557 --> 00:19:55,159 If we were crippled from birth Or crippled in an accident. 536 00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:56,461 We're all brothers ! 537 00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:58,630 Save it, fool, Crips ain't our brothers! 538 00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:00,365 Look, we have the whole Rec center to ourselves, 539 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,967 Can't we all just try Having some fun together ? 540 00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,269 You talkin' Crazy, dawg ! 541 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,004 Yeah, we ain't Playin', sucker ! 542 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,739 Why don't we at least Give it a chance ? 543 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,474 I mean, come on. 544 00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:14,245 Wait a minute, What did you say ? 545 00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:17,282 I said, "i mean, come on." 546 00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:19,884 You know, Maybe he's right. 547 00:20:20,318 --> 00:20:22,487 I mean,come on. 548 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,788 Come on. 549 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,824 I guess we could at least give Having fun together a try. 550 00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:28,126 It's like,come on. 551 00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:29,861 Yeah, come on. 552 00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,162 Yeah, that's right, Come on. 553 00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:33,765 ( all ) Come on. 554 00:20:34,632 --> 00:20:36,801 ( rap music playing ) 555 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,043 Gotta give you Two dawgs props 556 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,344 For puttin' an end To all this hatin'. 557 00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,513 I told you, lock-in At the rec center always works. 558 00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:50,248 And you know, I've learned something too, 559 00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,417 I was player-hatin' Christopher butthole reeve 560 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,718 Because he got more attention Than me 561 00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:55,019 But just like you guys, 562 00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:57,622 I need to learn To control my anger. 563 00:20:57,622 --> 00:20:58,923 Right on. 564 00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:01,526 Hey, lil' roller, try Some of this chronic ( beep ). 565 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:02,827 Timmy ! 566 00:21:04,996 --> 00:21:06,297 Well, i guess we all learned That trying to get along 567 00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:08,900 Is way better Than p-player hatin'. 568 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,069 The gang wrote a song about it, Why don't we listen in ? 569 00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:12,370 * used to Be crips and bloods * 570 00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:13,671 * didn't get along * 571 00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:15,840 * but now we're all a family And so we wrote this song * 572 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,443 * na na na Crips and bloods * 573 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,611 * na na na hope and love * 574 00:21:21,045 --> 00:21:23,214 * na na na Friendly thugs ** 575 00:21:24,515 --> 00:21:26,250 ( christopher ) You haven't seen 576 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,552 The last of me, Hack-man ! 577 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,154 I will be backkkk ! 578 00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:34,058 Dude, i am so glad We stayed out of that one. 579 00:21:34,058 --> 00:21:35,360 Meeee too ! 580 00:21:37,962 --> 00:21:40,565 Captioning made possible by Comedy central 581 00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:43,167 Captioned by Soundwriters™