Original subtitles

Hey, Lisa.

The Riggmas are having a party Friday night. You want to come?

Me?

Invited to one of your broad shoulders?

I mean, parties?

I'd love to.

I'll be there.

Great. I'll see you there.

Yeah.

Good taste, Trevor.

Thank you, Rick.

Hey, Morris.

We've been looking for you.

Hi, Rick. Hi, Trevor.

You guys know my friends.

No. Anyway,

listen, as you know, we only invite the top people to join the Rigmas.

Oh, I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested.

So, Zach, what do you say?

Want to pledge?

Me a Rigma?

That'd be great. What do I have to do?

Well, we'll find you after school and we'll fill you in on the pledge rolls.

All right.

Zach, you are so lucky. They have the wildest parties and only the best

girls. Really?

All right. I've changed my mind.

I'll join.

When I wake up in the morning and the longest I don't want it, I don't think

I'll ever make it on time.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Pledging school clubs isn't for everyone.

You have to take orders, do insane things, and endure constant humiliation.

Sort of like being a teacher.

Hurry up, Belding's coming.

Pledge Zach Morris.

Oh, no.

Now.

Way down upon the Swanee River, far, far from home.

Zach, is it really worth it? Sure it is. Besides, all members had to go for

Rigma Pledge Week. It's important.

It's tradition.

Or in the words of Socrates, it's the pits.

Please leave your quizzes on your desks and read chapter nine.

Or sing chapter nine, if you'd rather.

If I could collect the papers, please. I have a meeting with Mr. Belding.

Thank you.

Nice hat.

Hey, Screech, can I carry your books?

Why? Well, every day he has to do a favor for someone who's not the coolest.

Do you mean a borderline nerd?

Oh, not that bad.

Oh, you mean a dweeb.

That's great. Sure, you can carry my books. Come on, come on. You don't

understand, Screech. This is your chance to get Zach to do anything for you.

Anything. Mikey.

I see.

That's great. Let's not take advantage of the situation.

Now, let's see.

I have this nickname, Phil.

All right. All right, I'll take care of it.

Yes, Mr. Belding. You wanted to see me?

Here, read this.

All principals are to designate an acting principal to act as principal

the actual principal cannot be there to act as principal.

Have you broken this code yet?

Look, the school board now requires a substitute principal whenever I'm not on

campus. There's a one -week trial run. Will you do it?

Mr. Belding, it would be an honor.

Oh, by the way, what's in it for me?

All right, new encyclopedia.

But it's got to be the full set. That's A through Z.

Okay, but the Q book's propping up the short leg on my dining room table, and

now the soup is going to slide into Grandma Belding.

Hi, guys. Have you seen them?

There they are.

That is not funny. You have no idea what they're putting me through.

Whatever it is, it's worth it.

Be all you can be, Zack.

Be a Rigma.

Don't say anything. I just can't do more of this stuff.

Has anybody here seen Zack Morris?

There he is.

There you are. I've been looking all over for you guys.

Mr. Morris, we would like to see you up on stage. Would you like to see him up

on stage, Trevor?

Rick, I would like that very much.

Would anybody like to see Mr.

Morris do...

Ten jumping jacks?

How about twenty?

Twenty? Do you want to hear thirty?

Thirty!

Could have said forty.

Okay, it's forty.

I can't believe they're making you do this. Why don't you just quit?

Red jackets.

Parties.

And girls.

Don't you think enough is enough? This isn't funny anymore.

Oh, come on. We're just having a good time.

He doesn't have to do this if he doesn't want to.

Oh, thanks, guys. Of course, Trevor, he won't become a rigma.

Morning.

Miss Bliss is acting as principal this week, so I'll be taking over all of her

classes.

Miss Bliss usually teaches us from inside the classroom.

Inside.

Substitute. Well, the flu is going around and there is a shortage in the

substitute pool.

And why am I telling you all this? Everyone sit down.

Now, what chapter are we on?

Mr. Balding, this is homeroom.

Oh, well, what do you do in homeroom? Nothing.

Well, that's going to change right now. We are going to do something in

homeroom. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Hey, we can go.

Come on now, let's make this meaningful.

Let's close this generation gap. Let's wrap.

All right, I'll start.

Last night, Mrs. Belding and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary with

eighth, my seventh.

She encourages me to be zany like that.

How romantic.

So, where did you meet the old ball and chain?

We were in high school at a Halloween party.

We were bobbing for apples and our retainers locked.

After that, we were stuck with each other.

Surf's up.

This is so dumb. I don't know how I ever thought those guys were so cool.

So you're not going to their party?

Oh, I'm still going, but I won't dance well.

Mr. Belding, what are you doing here?

Actually, we're just shooting the breeze.

By the way, Zach, cowabunga.

That was really a great homeroom. Thanks for coming.

Take care. See you real soon.

What am I doing?

Zack, you have company.

Hey, Beach Bum.

Look, I've had about enough of this. Why don't you guys just leave him alone?

Get lost.

You're on your own, sir.

Mr. Morris, Rick and I have a little surprise for you.

I can't watch this. Tell me everything that happens.

Excuse me?

Children? Children, would you mind leaving us alone?

Should we leave him alone, Lisa?

I don't know.

What do you think, Nikki?

I think we sound like two jerks, Lisa.

Hi, Zach.

Uh, I know this is none of my business, but, um, don't you think the Rigmans are

pushing this a little too far?

I remember when I was at Carl Apes, they made me eat live goldfish.

Please.

So, Mr. Morris, how about some sushi?

Oh, come on, fellas. Anything but raw fish.

We're just kidding, Morris.

You look a little cold there.

Maybe this will warm you up.

I'm in.

I did it all right. Not so fast, pledge breath.

Are we your friends?

Sure you are.

Then what do you call the people that were just here?

Friends. Correction.

Rigmuth only hang out with Rigmuth.

As of this moment, they're history.

But they've always been my friends.

If you want to wear the jacket, you've got to pay the price.

Kiss them goodbye.

Tracy, tell Mrs. Barnes that I'm approving her field trip under one

This year, she remembers to take her students with her.

I'll hand it to you, Miss Bliss.

You run a happy ship.

I'm sure Mr. Belding would have done the same thing.

Well, it's because of you I got to watch him tow away that blue Yugo.

Felt good.

Thank you, Miss Bliss.

Anything to keep our ship happy.

I don't want to seem ungrateful, Miss Bliss, but, you know, we can really use

electric leaf blower.

My men have been stooping over so much, they're all starting to look up to

Shorty Beeman.

I'm sure we can arrange something, Myla. We'll talk about this later.

Thank you, Miss Bliss.

Did he just thank you for something?

Yes. I helped him out. He was grateful.

Never thanks me for anything.

Well, when was the last time you helped him out?

I don't see what that has to do with it.

Acting Principal Bliss?

Oh, hello, Mrs. Murphy.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yes, I did receive the flowers and the cookies.

Thank you.

Great.

have to go now.

Goodbye.

Mrs. Murphy sent you flowers?

And cookies.

All I ever get from her are complaints that the kids are littering her lawn.

Not anymore.

I got the crossing guard to move over one corner in front of her house.

He keeps an eye on the kids when they don't litter.

I thought of that. I just hadn't gotten around to it yet, that's all.

Oh.

How are you getting on with the students?

Oh, fine.

I'm teaching. They're learning.

I feel as though in a small way I'm making an impact on their lives.

Mr. Belding, you only had homeroom.

Picky, picky, picky.

Okay, Mort, it's time for you to test your loyalty.

Now? Now.

Hey, guys.

I hope you understand that I don't want to do what I'm about to do, but I have

to do it.

What are you talking about?

So, Mikey, still in love with Caitlin over here.

Zach! Hey, Caitlin, this guy's got the hots for you. Go on, ask her out.

What's wrong with him?

That was one of the meanest things I've ever seen.

Come on, you have to understand.

Once I get into the club, everything will be different.

Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember,

remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember,

remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember,

remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember,

remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember,

remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember,

remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember,

remember, remember. Remember,

remember, remember.

For this.

Oh, listen, I'm allergic to meringue. Could you just hit me with a plate? Just

get out of here.

I thought we were friends.

We are.

Look, why would I be friends with a nothing like you?

Hey, Screech.

Screech, wait a second.

You are now a Rigma.

We're in, buddy.

Rigmas. Together.

Forever.

Forever?

Hi, guys.

Come on. I just had to do all that stuff to get in the club.

Did you hear something?

I thought I did.

Did it sound like a knife going into someone's back?

Give me a break.

Hey, Screech, you want to grab a burger after school?

I'd love to, Zach, but nothing.

don't eat burgers.

I'm ready to teach now.

Good morning, class.

As you know, my name is Mr.

Felding.

Today's lesson is Historical Word Association.

What do these names have in common?

James Monroe and Warren G. Harding.

They were United States presidents.

Very good, Lisa.

It was Edwin, and Neil Armstrong's real name was Neil.

Thank you, Samuel.

Judas and Benedict Arnold.

Relatives of Zack Morris. They're both traitors. All right. That's not funny,

Nicky. All right.

It may not be funny, but it's true. All right, all right. That is enough.

Now, our next one is... Just keep them in order.

Come on. Look, now that I'm in, we can all be friends.

On weekends and stuff.

Could we really?

Gee, that's so nice of you.

Wow. Maybe he'd even let us touch his jacket.

Hey, give me that. Oh, sure. Here.

Don't. Let's not throw the jacket.

Don't. Did I tell you not to? All right. All right. That's it.

To the principal's office.

Who?

Everybody.

I'm sure glad I don't have to handle this one.

Let's go.

Single file. Okay.

get this straight.

Mikey got hit in the face with a pie. No, Nikki got hit in the face with a

and Zach only ruined my entire life.

And then he called someone's parents and said Screech went with makeup.

He did?

No, it was my parents, and I got home just in time to erase the message.

Look, we're only in here because these guys had to throw my jacket all over the

room. Mr. Bell, did you have any swag?

Yes, I worked on those cards for six hours.

Is what they're saying true?

No. It wasn't a whole pie. It was a piece of pie.

It was a pie, Zach, no matter how you slice it.

Mr. Bennett, could you please take the students back to class?

Zach, stick around.

I understand. If you want to call his mother, she's number four on my speed

dial. Okay, people, move out.

Miss Bliss, just be fair.

Expel him.

Does trap stick count?

Well, they're just jealous because I'm in the club and they're not.

Jealousy wasn't the emotion that came to mind. It was more, let me see, like

murder. You don't understand either.

Look, if you want to wear the jacket, you've got to pay the price.

I see.

Well, then you better take care of this.

It was very expensive.

Cost you four friends.

So, how's your day gone?

Oh, I'd say it's gone very, very badly.

Oh, come on.

It can't be that bad.

Let me ask you something. Do you really give open book quizzes?

Never.

I knew it.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Sure, that's easy for you to say. You're the perfect teacher and the perfect

principal. Thank you, Miss Bliss. Thank you, Miss Bliss. It drives me crazy.

Calm down, Mr. Belding.

You're right.

Maybe I could learn from this. How do you do it?

Well, there's really nothing to it. I mean, Tina needed supplies, so I took

of it, and Mr. Fetterman wanted Friday off, so I arranged it.

Well, I must say I am impressed.

When I call, they always say no.

Who says no?

People at the Board of Education.

Where you call for approval?

You did call for approval.

I didn't know I was supposed to.

Surely you don't need approval to have a car towed, do you?

Oh, you mean that broken down Yugo that's been there for two weeks?

Right. Why didn't you ever have it towed?

Because it's mine.

Miss Bliss.

There's a Mrs. Murphy on the phone. Something about a crossing guard's

clashing with the color of her house.

Strange lady.

Oh, I'll be right there.

This whole day is really messed up, isn't it?

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're not perfect.

She's not perfect.

Oh, there's hope.

She is not perfect.

Look, I feel really bad about what I did.

Since I have to choose between you and the club, well, I want to be with you.

your Zach is back.

Well, I guess I can speak for all of us when I say, get lost.

But I chose you over the club.

And we're choosing nothing over you.

Thanks!

Hey, Morris, come sit with us.

Yeah, I'd like that.

You would have done anything to become a Rigma, wouldn't you? You know it, and

I'd do it again.

Well, we felt the same way.

Really? What'd they make you do?

They made us find an eighth grader and make him believe he was pledging to

Rigmas. Wow, that's great.

How did the poor sap take it?

You tell us.

Me?

Afraid so.

You mean I wasn't pledging? None of this stuff I did counted?

Oh, look on the bright side.

We got in.

Rigma, together.

Forever. Forever.

Now you know how you made us feel.

So you heard.

Who would have guessed they were setting you up to be a sucker? How could they

do this to me?

Well, they wanted to join the club so bad that they didn't care who they

Sound familiar?

You know, it really seems like a lot of dumb stuff just to get into a few

parties. Well, it was more than that.

I thought this was my chance to really be someone in this school. But you

already are.

Yeah, to you guys I am. But that doesn't count.

You know what counts is what the other guys think of me. What counts is that

really saying dumb things.

You guys are right not to take me back.

What do you think?

Should we invite him along, Nikki?

I think that'd be very nice, Lisa.

What do you think, Mikey? I think that's a very good idea.

Don't you agree, Screech?

About what?

Hey, you coming?

Yeah.

Favorite time in school is when we have a substitute teacher. They can usually

get away with anything.

But one time in junior high, it was different when Miss Bliss brought this

really great guy in to teach us about the Civil War.

We learned a lot more than we had planned on.

Watch and see what happens.