Original subtitles

Hey, Mikey, how you doing? How was your weekend? Can I borrow $300?

Fine, great, not a chance.

Mikey, do you still have those savings bonds?

Okay, Zach, what gives?

It was all my father's fault.

He told me not to fool around with his new video camera. What happened? I

around with it.

I was on my roof taking pictures of the Zepparelli twins doing aerobics in their

backyard. Zach, they live two blocks from your house.

It's amazing what they've done with zoom lenses.

I started to slip.

It was either me or the camera.

I think you made the wrong choice.

When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gets out of warning, I don't think

I'll ever make it on time.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

The computer aid is upon us.

You can bank, shop, even invest without ever leaving home.

Each year, my students chip in $2 and we buy stock.

While they're busy dreaming of riches, They have no idea I'm teaching them

American business.

Pretty sneaky, huh?

Okay.

Can anybody tell me about the Great Depression?

That's what happens when your mother cuts off your phone for the test.

Well, actually, I was referring to the crash of 1929.

I knew that. Before we're completely bummed out, can we check your brokerage

account and see how our stock's doing? Sure. My key far up the computer.

Why bother?

Elliot Airlines hasn't budged since Elliot died.

Let's get our 50 bucks back before they bury his plane, too.

I knew we should have invested in stealth bombers.

There's big money in invisibility.

Now, if you'd all read this morning's newspaper, as you were supposed to, you

would have read some very exciting news.

Purple is the new fall color.

I'm referring to the merger.

TransUniversal Air has swallowed up your airline.

Hey, guys, look at this.

TransUniversal Air has gone up three bucks a share.

Can someone tell me how much we've made?

That's $150.

We're rich.

Right. Get real.

We're comfortable, but not rich.

$150 overnight.

This could have possibilities.

Maybe we should sell and take our profits.

Well, when you invest on the stock market, there are always risks.

You can make money, but you can also lose it.

So what do you want to do? Do you want to stay in or get out?

Let's stay in. Go for it.

All right. Let's go for it.

Is there some way I can do some more studying on these mergers and

thing? Well, you can always do research at the library.

Great, good idea.

Miss Bliss, exactly where is the library?

I'll make four more days until they deliver your hot new convertible.

But the first thing you're going to do, burn rubber in the school zone.

Miss Bliss.

I hate to tell you this, but my men are complaining.

That old clunk of yours just dripped another quart of oil all over the

lot. Milo, it's a parking lot.

To you, it's a parking lot. To me, it's asphalt sculpture.

And a very lovely one, Milo. I promise it won't happen again.

Good. Because woodshop's having trouble turning out enough sawdust.

Liz, what's this I hear about your class making $500 in the stock market?

I better go.

Finance gives me hives.

$500? Care to explain?

I can't help it if their stock keeps going up. After all these years, my

finally picked a winner. It's wonderful.

It's terrible.

I don't like this stock market thing, and I want to go on record right now.

Mr. Belding, you go on record every year.

I own the album.

And it's gone platinum.

Milo, would you please?

Mr. Belding, this is a generation raised on video games, computers, and MTV.

I have to compete for their attention.

Fine. Compete all you want. But I really don't think they should be making more

money than I do.

I always dreamed of breaking out of school, but I never thought I'd break

It's 6 a .m., Zach.

Exactly.

That's the whole idea.

We're going to score.

We're going to make it. We're going to be rich.

Zach, I don't think this is going to work. It's got to work.

I need 300 bucks.

Back's against the wall.

Why does mine have to be against the wall, too?

Mikey. If you could have anything in the whole world, what would it be?

A room full of video games.

Think bigger.

Well, I always wanted to go to Yankee Stadium.

Bigger, Mikey.

On my own jet?

Good, Mikey. And who would you like as your stewardess?

Justine Bateman.

And what would you like her to wear?

What would I like her to wear?

Oh, boy.

How are we going to do this?

Okay. I listened to Bliss and found the library. You know what they have there?

Books?

That's no joke.

I read about a guy who made 300 ,000 potatoes in just 20 minutes.

Potatoes? Yeah. Look, you go to the computer, sell our stock, and buy

Hey, guys.

School doesn't start for a couple hours. What are you doing here?

Would you believe early American history?

No, I don't.

Nobody comes to school early.

Unless they have to use a computer for a very special assignment.

So why did you say so in the first place?

What do you know about potatoes, Milo?

Potatoes go with everything.

You can boil them, bake them, fry them, filet them. They're the food of the 90s.

See?

What else do you know about potatoes?

We're right in the middle of National Potato Month.

Whoa! This is better than I thought.

Thanks, Milo. Hey, don't mention it.

We can't lose. It's a sure thing.

Zach, that was Milo, not EF Hutton.

You heard the man. We're buying potatoes.

Shouldn't we ask the other kids? It's their money, too.

I'll handle them. We're going to make their dreams come true.

And my dad will never know about his video camera.

Unless he sees the video of the Zeppole twins.

What about Bliss?

Are you kidding? She loves it when we show initiative.

Spliss, I received a call from a very concerned parent.

Is something wrong? Is there a problem?

Yes. He wants the name of your broker.

You're kidding.

All right, it was just a little principal humor.

But everybody seems to want to get rich quick these days. We need to teach these

kids that hard work pays off.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Then why are you allowing them to gamble?

They're not gambling. They're investing.

Look at my students.

Have you ever seen such hard work and enthusiasm?

Yes. In Las Vegas.

Therefore, potatoes equal megabucks.

It's time for the few remaining holdouts to come aboard.

I love power lunches.

Same room, my man. What you got there?

Same as usual. Lasagna. My mom puts it in my thermos to keep it warm.

Lasagna thermos?

It'll make millions.

You just want something, Jack.

That's right, Sammy.

I want you blasting through the stratosphere with me.

Oh, you're talking thrusters.

We want you to sell the airline stock and invest in potatoes.

Is that all?

Sure. If he asked you to jump off the Hoosier Dome, would you do that too?

Sure.

So, how many does that make, Mikey?

Well, that's everybody, except Lisa and Nikki.

Forget it.

Lisa? Forget her, too.

Nikki, she has a mind of her own. He's right.

Zach, she's too smart to listen to you.

She's right.

So, in other words, you're just willing to give up a Beverly Hills shopping

spree? Yeah.

No.

So, for a shopping spree, you're willing to just follow Zach blindly?

No.

Yeah. When?

See, Nikki, she does have a mind of her own.

I don't trust them.

They're probably handicapping the races.

Right.

Zach, nowhere in here does it say potatoes are the food of the 90s. Of

not, Nikki.

It's a secret.

Only those in the know know.

Insider information.

Insider information?

Not anymore.

Who are you kidding?

Zach, you're up to something.

Exactly, Nikki.

The P in potato stands for power, prestige.

Somebody quick, give me a P word. We're doing you.

So what about it, Nikki?

Look, Zach, what if we lose the money we've already made?

Big deal. We only threw in a couple of bucks to start with.

Okay. Well, who's going to convince Miss Bliss?

She doesn't care. It's our money.

Fine. I'll go over now. No.

When we cut her in.

We're buying her a set of mag wheels for a new car.

I don't know.

Come on, Nikki. Do it for Miss Bliss.

Give me a break, Zach.

Who do you guys think you're dealing with?

You're right, Nikki.

We could never fool you.

But think of all the good things you could have done with this money.

A habitat for the endangered condor.

A safe harbor for the sea otters.

A better life for all of us?

Enough, Seth.

I'm in. All right!

Moments like these make all my hard work pay off.

I think it is ridiculous for Belding to make me cover detention after school

when no kids are being detained.

Be patient.

The building hasn't done its whole sweep yet.

I wonder what this is.

Well, maybe red leather racing gloves. Too much. A convertible, but it's just a

guess. Oh, Tina.

You shouldn't have.

I'm glad you did.

Thank you.

Oh, I cannot believe that you're getting a sports car. I am so excited.

I can just picture it now.

Music. Blasting.

Hair blowing in the wind.

Guys honking at me.

Tears.

If anybody's getting honked at, it's going to be me.

Great news. We got in on ground floor and that elevator's going straight

the roof.

Where she stopped, nobody knows.

The potatoes have gone up $6 ,000.

That's $300 a piece.

It's all a plot.

Girls make us go to school so they can keep all the money.

I'm not telling my kids either.

See it now.

I'm on that beach.

Used to be called Malibu.

So, city, here I come.

There's only one thing I want.

American Express gold.

Never leave home without it.

Guys, whatever happened to a better life for all of us?

We should save the whales. Yeah, as they swim by.

What do you mean?

We just made six grand. We bought on margin.

What's margin?

If potatoes drop, we can end up owing lots of money. Well, it's not going to

drop. We're hot.

Zach, it's too risky. We've made $300.

Let's get out now.

That's just it, Mikey.

It's the risk that separates the winners from the losers.

I'm warning you. This could end up costing Bliss a whole lot of money.

All right. We'll get out in 24 hours. I've got a feeling. I think there's just

little more we can squeeze out of the potatoes.

Okay?

So, Miss Bliss, when are you taking your class public?

I beg your pardon? From what I hear, they'd be a very good investment.

It's been a big week, hasn't it?

What on earth are you talking about?

Well, rumors are circulating that your class has made over $15 ,000.

Oh, Mr.

Belding, you know kids exaggerate. Their stock has made them a whopping $25 a

piece. Well, the whole school is now obsessed with money. I've had a dozen

requests from students to be transferred into your investment banking class.

But I don't teach investment banking.

Aha! My point exactly.

The plug has just been pulled.

Okay. I hate to do this, but I'm asserting my authority.

Fine. What do you mean, fine?

Just what I said, fine. I don't think you understand.

I'm shutting you down.

Whatever you want.

What's the catch? No catch.

My week -long project is over.

And that's an order.

Zach, something's going on here.

What? What? Zach! Hello, Mikey. I don't have a good feeling about this.

The price of potatoes dropped.

You mean dropped isn't fluctuated? No, dropped isn't dead.

What about my gold card?

What about saving the whales?

There goes my trip to Venus.

Excuse me.

Is it safe to assume we're no longer in the airline business?

Uh, gee, yes, Miss Bliss.

All right, Zach, give it to me straight.

About what?

Samuel?

you've taught us, Zach took our money and dove into the potato market.

That does it. I'm gonna have to staple my lips shut.

So, Zach, you've taken it upon yourself to change the class project.

Well, you see, I didn't exactly change the project, only the investment.

I see.

I'm curious.

How did you buy these potatoes?

On margarine.

You mean margin?

Yeah, yeah, margin.

So you put up a little money to buy a whole lot of potatoes.

That matches my information. Did you know that when you buy on margin and the

price plummets that you owe the difference?

Not exactly.

Punch on my account, Mikey.

How much does it say I owe?

$1 ,567.

That's including commission.

Do any of you children know how much money that is?

I do. I do.

And so do I. And I have to pay it back.

We didn't know that.

Lisa, you were in on this too?

Uh -huh. And Nikki, where were you? Did you think this was okay?

Well, not at first.

But when we started making money, I thought of all the good things money

do. And that was okay.

I expected more from you, Nikki. I really did.

And Samuel?

I was duped.

I get it.

No one can think for themselves.

Right, Mikey?

I guess not.

Well, let me tell you all something.

This is, without doubt, the most dishonest behavior I've ever encountered

years of teaching.

This class has taken it upon itself not only to deceive me...

But to steal my hard -earned money.

But we didn't know that.

Oh, you didn't know that?

Well, Mr. Bigshot, let me tell you something else you didn't know.

You just cost me my new car.

What's going on?

Nothing. Doesn't seem like nothing. Your class is there and you're here.

I just walked out.

I see.

You want to talk about it?

No, I don't.

I was awful. I blew it. I went too far. I let my anger get the better of me. And

I don't want to talk about it.

All right. All right.

If it makes you feel any better, it's happened to me.

Happens to every teacher.

Things build up. All of a sudden, you're screaming at some poor kid because he

just put gum under his desk.

Mr. Belding, they lost $1 ,567 of mine in the stock market.

They what?

Exactly.

It's all my fault.

I should have known better. I let this project get out of control. I should

known better.

I didn't expect it. I just didn't expect it.

Carrie, you're a good teacher. Oh, you bet I am.

I even finance the lessons with my own money.

Come on.

Don't let this incident get you down.

Besides, with your innovative teaching methods, I'm sure something else will go

wrong and you'll forget all about this.

Mr. Belding.

Wouldn't a simple, I told you so, be more humane?

Worst weekend of my life.

I think I finally know what guilt is. You mean that sick feeling in the pit of

your stomach?

I've got it, too.

I couldn't sleep.

I kept having this nightmare.

I was drowning in a sea of mashed potatoes with only a pat of melting

cling to.

I'm a complete phony.

Everything I stand for no longer has any meaning.

In a blink of an eye, I've become shallow.

Ricky, how can you think of yourself at a time like this?

We've got to pay Miss Bliss back.

I'm going to sell my dirt bike.

After I sell my VCR, I pay my father back.

No, sell my computer.

Morning.

Well,

I'm sure we all had time to calm down over the weekend.

I still feel terrible.

I'm so sorry.

So am I.

What for?

We deserve to get yelled at.

Yes, you certainly did.

But not the way I did it. I was so upset I stopped treating you like my kid.

Because regardless of what you do or how awful you behave, I'll always be there

for you.

I'll always love you, no matter what.

Here's the bag you wanted, Miss Bliss. Ah, thank you, Milo.

Class, this is a potato.

Thanks to you, I own it.

And this little guy didn't travel alone. He brought his entire family with him,

all 3 ,000 pounds up.

And they're sitting in the middle of my oil -stained parking lot staring at me.

Potatoes have eyes, you know.

Get your point, Milo. I promise we're going to get them out of there.

Well, I hope so.

They keep staring at me.

Matter of fact, I saw one spud wearing sunglasses with a harmonica singing, Why

Should I Be a Fry?

Okay.

You're masterfying. Now you're going to master selling.

I don't care if you mash them or smash them or dice them or slice them. Just

move them.

It's Liquidation City.

I'm driving with the top down this summer.

Today we're going to discuss the Civil War.

Miss Bliss, you said we were going to see a movie.

You're right. I did promise you a movie.

However, when the film arrived...