Original subtitles

Welcome back. We're talking to the beautiful and lethal Valerie Irons.

Bodyguard to the stars. Beautiful and lethal. That's not a combination we see

lot on the show. People are either beautiful or they're lethal. Really, are

both? Well, do you get non -lethal guests on your show, Jay? We get guests

are lethal to the audience. It would literally murder the crowd in the

But seriously, how lethal are you?

Well, I'm not the lethal one, I have to admit. Really? You're not the lethal

one? No, I have people that do that for me.

Oh, you have someone?

It's like, Desmond, could you come in and shoot this guy? Is that that kind of

thing? Exactly. That's perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, the people that I work

with are on very dangerous assignment as we speak. Really? What kind of

assignment are they on?

Put the gun down.

Come on. Turn around.

Holy cow.

This guy's a professional.

Well, don't listen to him.

Any idea who the target is?

There's a hint.

Oh, God.

Who guards your body from that guy?

Excuse me. It just never happens.

What is that, a beeper? Really important.

Are you really answering beeper messages?

What are you doing?

Listen, I'm going to point out. Hello.

This is great.

You know, you got the job.

What are you doing?

Oh, no.

Okay. Okay, okay. Stay calm. Stay calm. All right?

Yeah, I'm calm.

Listen, I... Is that my set?

Hey. Hey.

Thank you.

Sorry, Jay. Yeah, okay.

I think I almost bumped you for Tony Randall.

You guys don't understand. I got in a lucky punch. I'm not a bodyguard. But we

are. You'd be a figurehead. A name on the door. You'll probably never even

the office.

You'll help us pull in the rich and famous.

We'll do the rest. We're professionals.

We'll take care of all the tough stuff.

So I'll never be in any danger?

Never. Never?

Never.

Excuse me.

I know, uh, cigar smoking's supposed to be cool these days, but...

You know, it's illegal to smoke in here.

Well, what are you, the tobacco police?

You know, your mouth is going to turn yellow and rot.

Let's see how cool you look then.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I was five minutes into a 24 -hour sale at Bloomingdale's.

Please forgive our esteemed leader, Ms. Farthigan, but...

It was well worth the wait to meet the beautiful and lethal Miss Valerie Irons.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Oh, thank you.

So, what can we do for you, Mr.

Cartagian? It's Walter.

I'm having a party at my mansion this weekend. I need some extra security.

Well, say the word and we're all over you like pockmarks on Keith Richards.

I'm not the target.

So you want us to protect someone else?

Not someone, something.

I don't know if you've heard of the Star of Neptune.

Of course.

It's a modified radiant cut diamond, 50 carats of flawless D color, bezel set in

a gold cross.

Value? 100 million dollars.

Currently owned by some big thieves in Switzerland.

I read it in the latest issue of Jane. I'm afraid the article's already out of

date.

I purchased the star three days ago.

And I thought the signs could wear it to the party.

Oh, you want me to go as your date?

More of as an armed escort.

I don't really like the term escort.

Pardon me.

Your beauty and skill would make you an ideal companion to showcase me,

Nicholas.

The rest of you can come, too.

Supervise my existing security team.

No problem.

Discreetly, of course.

It would be an honor to have you.

The honor is ours.

Great.

Now we're a high -priced dating service for Val.

You don't want us to take the job?

Didn't seem one.

Now, you cover the front yard bridge starting at the northern perimeter.

Yes, sir. You take the back. Got it. You come with me.

I used to live in a place this big.

You did?

I thought you lived in an apartment in Newark. One bedroom.

That was earlier. After my mother died, I left New Jersey to live with my rich

grandfather in Pasadena.

Now my whole family lives to the coast.

I'll say your grandfather made you for offering good reviews.

No, I refuse.

I ran away.

I don't know why I brought that up.

So, what do you think?

The latest?

Well, you better pick one out soon.

The party starts in two hours.

Valerie, I'd like you to meet Irving Milbrook of the San Francisco Milbrooks.

Irving Milbrook.

Charmed.

Brilliantly kind.

Look, don't touch her.

Grid Baker 21 secure.

No one's getting in here.

Hey, Mally, how you doing?

You wouldn't shoot your own cousin, though, would you, Nicky?

You're not for good, cuz.

Stop, Gino. I can't let you do this. I'll shoot.

I don't think you will.

I pay you.

And what do I get?

A lot of Monday morning quarterbacking. The police will do all they can, Mr.

Parsegian. But in my professional opinion, your diamonds are in the hands

very slick crew.

Who are we up against?

Like the man said, real pros.

Are you okay?

Yeah, why?

Well, for starters, you've been sitting in your car for four hours.

I'm fine.

Look, if you want to talk, I'm much better with my ears than I am with a

Val, if I asked you something... Anything.

Then you should come with me somewhere.

Tomorrow, 8 a .m.

8 a .m.? Can we make it 10?

Okay, so your cousin Gino works for your grandfather, who's this big mob

gangster guy.

Yeah. And you haven't seen any of these guys for 10 years?

Right.

Hello, Mr. Franco.

Very nice to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you.

Ah, it's mostly lies.

So what can I do for you? We need to talk about a certain diamond -cross

necklace.

Ah, what's it like to run such a prestigious agency, huh?

Great. I get to meet celebrities.

The necklace was stolen yesterday.

So, uh, what's your choice of weapons, Ms. Zions?

You look like a blade girl to me.

Wow.

Does a nail file count?

Hey, did you ever use that thing?

No.

But I'm sure that day will come.

I love this kid!

Grandpa, would you please listen to me?

I haven't had a granddaughter in... Ten years.

Your crew was there yesterday.

That's a lot of baloney. I got a look at one of them.

Gino.

Is that true?

Of course you know he was there.

I mean that she saw him.

Ah, that Gino. He's always making trouble for us.

Always. Pop.

I formaggio nel du cielo.

Hey, Vincente.

Don't top me.

We even sent the kid to the army and make a man out of him.

He gets himself thrown out.

I don't need to know what you're up to. I won't tell the cops.

But I want the star of Neptune back.

Our reputations are on the line.

You want to talk about reputations?

Our necklace wasn't stolen yesterday.

It was returned.

Returned? That's right.

Returned.

Was that you?

In another life.

You are hot.

And now?

Very distinguished.

I'll take it.

Sicily, 1943.

That's the church of Santa Lucia.

And the necklace around the neck of the statue is the cross of Santa Lucia.

Look familiar?

That's the star of Neptune.

It was the Franco family honor to protect that cross.

It's our village's greatest prize.

But then those Nazi...

Bastards that were supposed to be our friends stole everything they could get

their mitts on. Even the cross.

We were disgraced.

We searched for years as it changed hands and names.

We're about to nab it from the Swiss guy that turned up in Tarsigian's

collection.

Mickey, my reputation is at stake. The family honor.

But you don't care about it.

The necklace belongs to Persegian now.

Let's take a walk.

You don't mind, do you?

Oh, no, of course not.

So...

Gino messed up again, huh?

Is he gonna sleep with the fishes?

Gino's my son.

Um... I'm gonna go, uh... Bye.

Hasn't anyone ever told you that family is the most important thing in a

person's life?

Told me when I was nine years old.

So come back to the family.

Happy working for VIP.

Come back.

Hey, I'm sure I can find something for you to blow up.

I see that smile.

Hey, remember this trick?

Now you see it?

Now you don't.

Hey, way to go, huh?

Love you, Grandpa.

But I don't agree with you boosting the star of Neptune.

Santa Lucia or not.

Would you expect to waltz right in here, grab the necklace and walk out?

Forget about it.

You won't rule on your family. You can't. Because deep down inside, you

want to come back.

Hey, Valley.

Bitch.

I love this kid.

Nick, what'd you do? Check your brain at the door?

This could shut us down.

Our reputation is on the line. I know, I know.

Then we have no choice but to tangle with the mob, which is fine with me.

on, you guys are overreacting just a little bit. Do you have any idea what

happens if we don't get that necklace back?

Goodbye, gold card.

Platinum. Guys.

What do you want to do, Nick?

I need some time to figure everything out.

Fine. I'll take the little party favor that your family left behind.

Figure out where they get their hardware.

You. You've got 24 hours.

Thanks for your generosity.

24 hours?

I almost forgot.

The Bloomingdale's bill.

Not buying any.

And I'm not the Avon lady.

Natasha,

good that I got it.

Yes, daughter going.

Badger, how are you?

End of the Cold War was good for business.

Commies never carried cash.

Hey, I miss those perks from Havana.

Badge, with all this stuff in your trailer, how come you have a 50 -year

padlock out on the deep?

Why, Ed returns, huh?

So, come on.

Come on, what you got there for me?

Oh, yeah.

This is interesting.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Very careful with that.

Pattern's not in yet.

What is it? The advanced model taser?

Electroshock device?

Gamma ray at the air pop.

Aim it straight at the back and boom!

Popcorn animal.

I know what this is.

What is it?

They call this the Banshee Divide.

It's a real dreamer.

Come on, Badger.

Help me out.

I can make you happy.

You know those collars that won't shut off and drive you crazy?

Well, this is the same principle on a more sophisticated level.

Auditory overload.

Acute disorientation.

Very, very painful sometimes.

Quite a bit of pain.

No, not always an unpleasant sensation, though.

Who makes it?

Protocon International.

Military contractor.

Very hush -hush.

Thanks.

But I did tell you I could make you happy.

I'm Fidel's private broker.

Not even going to ask.

Listen, Donnie.

Hey,

I

was kidding.

Don, I know him.

Don?

You got anything you want to tell us?

I had a wonderful morning with you at your home.

Yeah? Anything else?

I think Nikki liked it, too.

Forget about that.

How about, I'm sorry, Don Franco.

May my mother's eyes be pecked out by vultures for what I've done to you.

Fake.

Glass. It can't be.

That blonde hand cute smile don't fool us, huh?

Well, they do most people.

Who's asking you?

You were the last person to be seen with the real thing.

We want it returned to us. You understand?

I swear, I don't have it.

Don't play games with us.

You've got 24 hours to return the real necklace to me. Or VIP is going to be

missing the V and the I.

Yeah, and all you're going to have left is the P.

Might as well make it 22 hours because...

Nikki's 24 hours started two hours ago.

Oh, yeah, that's another thing.

Nikki listens to you.

I want her back in the family, capisce?

Capisce.

I don't care how you do it.

Does that 24 hours include that, too? Because that might take a while.

That whole 24 -hour thing is a real wreck.

That was the most intense experience I've ever had in my life. I had no idea.

Oh, the most intense experience of your life?

Yeah.

I had no idea getting into that limo. There'd be 20 gangsters in there with

Uzis. Oh, there were four gangsters and they weren't Uzis. They were Mac -10s.

You can tell because of the little silver thing by the trigger.

Yeah, whatever.

And that big Terminator guy, uh,

Donald Vincent, he was second from blowing us away.

Oh, dude.

Don Franco.

It was out of the limousine like we were rag dolls.

I've got to call my mom. She's not going to believe this.

So what did Don Franco say?

He said I have 24 hours to find the real necklace, which gives me 21 hours and

37 minutes.

I think Parsegian's trying to put one over on us.

Doc's portfolio dipped 30 % last month.

He lost millions on a trucking company strike in San Bernardino.

Alimony payments that could support a small third world country.

Ouch. Parsegian's in debt.

Star of Neptune disappears at a party he arranged.

Does anybody here smell insurance for a minute?

Lloyd's of London.

For a hundred million bucks.

Bingo. Huh? What better way to cash in than to hire the best of the best to

protect it than have it disappear?

Why in the world would I want to steal my own necklace?

For money?

Trust me, Valerie, I have plenty.

We happen to know your portfolio was down.

My corporate portfolio?

My personal trust alone could buy six stars of Neptune.

What about those alimony payments?

My wife and I reconciled last night.

I bet the trucking business is booming.

Hell no.

Hey, maybe you guys could protect my truckers. Make them all go bye -bye.

That's the trouble with you people with no money.

You overestimate its importance.

I want to start for its prestige value.

If I wanted an investment, I'd put the $100 million in Microsoft.

It just closed at an all -time high.

We're sorry we wasted your time, Mr. Percy, again.

Hold on.

While we're on the subject of time, I'm giving you, what, 24 hours to recover my

necklace, or I unleash my lawyers.

Now, they charge $1 ,000 an hour, and I have very sharp teeth.

Have a nice day.

I told you to quit worrying.

We got a place that would take an army to get it.

Yeah, basket in here.

Reno said something about needing an army to get back the necklace.

I downloaded directly from his cell phone's memory chip. Here it is.

At exactly 10 a .m. this morning, he called 721 Sumac Road.

My grandpa did that.

At 10 .07, he called a private residence on Buffalo Avenue.

What did he mean by Army?

Maybe he's hiding it at a military facility.

Then at 10 .14, he called a business on 96th Street. His last call.

And right now, I'm working on a name.

Protocons. Protocons? Protocons?

Government -backed special weapons research firm. I bet Gino bribed his old

buddy to hide it for a cut of the profit.

Right, Gino the genius.

How do we get it back?

Break in, we stand.

Except Protocon's more secure than the set of the next Star Wars flick. Come

you guys. Nikki, we've got to pull this off.

Baker team on south perimeter.

On my necklace?

I told you yesterday I don't have it.

We were supposed to meet alone.

Well, why are those two guys here then?

Enough with the games.

I want my necklace.

Why don't you ask Gino for it?

What are you talking about?

Gino helped you steal the necklace and then switched it with the fake.

Why would he do that?

You tell me. I can't. I haven't been able to find Gino since this morning.

Gino's hiding the necklace inside Protocon International.

So what are we supposed to do now?

We'll go in and get it.

Very good, Sonny. And how many high -end safes have you cracked recently?

Hey, Donnie.

This is no downtown Newark blowtorch job.

I've broken into Russian missile facilities and lived to tell the tale.

You know, can't we all just get along and work together as a team?

You got the brawn, we got the brains. High tech, low tech.

Big, big guys.

Little guys.

That a super deadly martial artist.

That's a very good idea, Val.

I love this kid.

Yeah, but who's going to keep the necklace when we get it back?

We can deal with that later. For now, let's get it out of Gino's hands.

It's party time.

Okay, positions. You get to the roof. I'm going in.

Excuse me.

Well, the computer reads you're Jeff Baker.

That's strange.

Can I see your ID?

Sure.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I've hurt my arm.

It's almost on my arm.

Ow.

Help her with that.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

It's just a game.

It's not going to work.

It's not going to work.

I've got to be here to pull someone up so that someone ain't going to be me.

Come on.

Nikki's injured her shoulder. We're sending Val in.

What? What do I do?

I'm going to lower you down.

But remember, you can't touch the walls or the floor or the inside of the

containment unit.

Let's go.

Take him out.

Follow me.

Look out.

Well, where are you going?

Wherever he wants to.

Back to my house.

The necklace stays with us.

What's the matter? You don't trust me?

Not as far as we can throw you. The necklace stays with us.

What is that, a threat?

That's where you want to take it? You want a piece of me? Absolutely.

Who else?

Let's go.

I've been ready.

How's everybody doing?

I'd like to admit my power.

I'm a third division U .S. Army.

Don't even think about it.

Here you go.

I want the necklace.

Gino, you're my son. How can you do this? I want the necklace, Pop.

Straighten it.

Come on, get out of the car.

Gino.

Oh, Gino, how could you betray your own family?

Believe me, it wasn't too hard, Don.

For about $100 billion.

Now, where is the necklace?

It's in the car.

Good I get away from the car They

got

Gino

I can't believe you blew up that necklace.

You switched it for the fake?

You should have never taught me that quarter check.

And you two just please make up already.

Maybe I've been a little hard on you. A little?

You don't have to be.

With the family.

To be in a family.

To be.

To be.

I hate to let it go.

Well, you're doing the right thing.

Not the diamond.

What the hell's going on here?

Grandpa. What are you all looking at me for?

That's it.

I'm calling the cops. Hold your horses.

Let me explain.

I know my granddaughter.

So I figured that she would switch the necklace with the fake. So I switched it

first. When she thought she was giving me the fake, she was really giving me

real thing.

But I had no idea that she'd blow it up.

Marron, this girl and her bonds.

Nicky blew up the real diamond because of you.

Yeah, that's right.

I paid them to protect it, and they destroyed it? Wait a minute.

Maybe I can make it up for you.

Have I heard that, uh, well, the Skorovako family is, uh... Giving you

headaches with your trucking company in San Bernardino?

Hey, I can straighten all that out for you.

Very tempting.

But I'm still stuck with a fake dime.

Well, it's an excellent fake.

Yeah, it's an excellent fake.

Now, I don't get fooled by the cheap stuff.

You said it wasn't about money.

All right, so I get to look like a top collector?

My trucking business makes a mint?

Everyone's happy.

And no one talks.

I was never here.

Val, are you sure you're done with this?

VIP failing and everything?

We didn't fail.

Like you and your grandpa hanging out again.

I love this kid.

Well, I'm proud of you, Nicoletta.

You've done good.

You can come and visit me anytime.

By the way, I know what necklace I put in the limo.

You did not touch my briefcase.

I didn't?

Well, you know, I forget. I'm an old man.

Huh? What?

Why? You saw the fake in there.

Makes it easy to come by.

You know...

If I didn't know better, I'd think you was accusing yourself.

Enjoy your trip.

Uh, I know what you're up to.

Well, I'm not sure, but...

I think you got the real diamond from the heist, and then you put a fake one

the limo before it blew up, so the fake one blew up, and then the don took the

real one and replaced it with a fake one at Persegian's house, and you let your

grandfather get away with it.

Right.

I am?

I mean, I knew that.