Original subtitles

Everything seems to be working, anyway.

It's not much good having a full group house if you have to keep checking it

every five minutes.

Well, I wouldn't have to keep checking it if he wasn't here.

George, you were the one that invited Betty for the weekend.

She is your sister.

I didn't know she'd married a lunatic, did I?

I spent all Saturday afternoon unjamming the unjammable doors.

Last night, I unblocked the unblockable sink.

And I was up at seven this morning repairing the indestructible waste

unit. I think he finds all your gadgets a bit confusing.

If just one thing goes wrong this afternoon... What could go wrong? You

telling me this house is foolproof.

Foolproof. Not Frank -proof.

Nothing is Frank -proof.

keep jumping through the doors like that.

They're perfectly safe.

My mother wouldn't have liked all these gadgets.

I'm sure she'd have managed very well.

She wouldn't even wear a hearing aid in case it blew her ear off.

I don't know how she'd have got on in that toilet.

I spent half an hour in there looking for the chain.

Well, there isn't one.

Didn't you see the button?

Oh. I thought that was a fire alarm.

I know that George's boss is coming this afternoon.

He's bringing in Mr Fletcher to look around the house.

So we don't want any more accidents.

Oh. Did George tell you about my accident?

You mean the one in the afternoon or the one in the morning?

The one in the evening.

I was halfway in the bathroom and the door jammed. How did George know?

He was halfway out.

We were stuck together for 15 minutes.

He only had his pyjamas on.

It was very embarrassing.

You're not the only one to get embarrassed.

I've spent the last two days apologising for all your behaviour.

And what did you do with the waste disposal unit?

It bit me.

Well, you shouldn't put your hand in it.

I just wanted to see how it worked.

Well, when you finished with it, it didn't. No.

Now, I think it would be best for everyone if this afternoon you went out

nice little walk.

I just put my slippers on.

I don't want this on.

I'll jam it.

But I believe in...

I'll leave it.

upset and desistant.

Yes.

Oh.

How?

How many?

Look, if Frank makes you that nervous, we'll just have to keep him out of the

way.

We could always pretend he wasn't here.

If only I... Now, what am I going to say to Betty?

Now, look, I know you'll tell her this.

I've just been talking to Frank, and he's decided that he's going to go out

a... George.

What's the matter?

George? Look, Betty, it's about Mr Fletcher's visit.

Now, look, I cannot afford to have him upset by anyone.

You're talking about my Frank, aren't you? I thought we could pretend he

here. Wasn't here?

Well, it wouldn't be for long.

Fletcher just wants a quick look round.

It's nearly three now. It's got to be back in London by four.

George, couldn't Frank stay in the bedroom?

Oh, no.

Fletcher will want to go upstairs as well.

What about the cellar?

You're not putting my Frank in the cellar! Betty, Betty, Fletcher builds

If he likes the equipment in this house, he could give our firm an order worth

thousands. But if Frank does any harm... Oh, what harm could Frank possibly do?

that gave them to me. LAUGHTER

The hip.

I know where they are.

They're down the toilet.

How did they get down there?

I don't know.

They just went. Well, don't worry.

Put some shoes on and trot off.

The slippers are bound to come out somewhere or other. No, they won't.

They're jammed.

I hooked them up with a toilet brush, but I pushed them round the pipe. Round

the pipe?

Plus, I had a bit of bad luck.

With the cistern.

the head of the toilet brush, a pair of slippers, and a ball cart.

What's George going to say?

I don't know.

This is Mr. Fletcher of Fletcher Construction. Hello, very nice to meet

I've just been admiring your plants.

Oh, do you like plants?

I do, indeed.

I have a lovely one upstairs, most unusual.

This is swell.

Really swell. And George here is our chief designer. You know, we have to

after him. Shall we sit down?

Well, thank you, Edward.

Okay. Allow me.

Well, well, that's really something.

Each item, chairs, doors, lights, etc., is controlled by a separate circuit with

duplicate controls.

So you can shut down anyone separately if there's any trouble. Oh, which there

won't be.

No, no, no. Of course not. I, um... I was just explaining. I don't see any

television. Excuse me.

You see, we tried to think of everything.

Well, it could suit the kind of houses we're planning to build. Well,

is took away out of sight. You see, there's not a wire showing.

The whole thing's foolproof. Oh, it is.

It is.

think George would notice if he just had a quick look.

Well, he could hardly miss it, could he? He looked like a collection for a

jumble sale.

Look, you move outside for a minute and pretend you've just come in. Keep away

from that.

Now, have a quick glance down and see if it catches your eye.

Yes, it does catch my eye.

Oh, Frank!

Oh, look, I'll have to do something about this water as well.

This pot was only a tempering measure.

I'll have to tell George. He'd want to be catching up with development.

No, don't tell George anything.

You're not supposed to be here.

George knows I'm here. He invited me.

He doesn't want anyone else to know that you're here.

In that case, I'll just have to undertake the job myself.

It's lucky I was here.

Rather interesting, Mr. Fletcher. What the hell's that? A damn hammer.

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

Now, watch this.

Now, this is for the man who wants to find his tools in a hurry.

I wouldn't be in that much of a hurry.

Well, George likes this little joke.

Why don't we all go and have a drink?

That's a good idea.

After you, Mr. Fletcher.

It's no good, Bethany.

you a minute again then.

No, I can't turn the water off anyhow.

I'll have to sneak downstairs and see if I can find the mains.

No, Frank.

No, let me go.

No, you're not... I don't want you to be seen.

Well, what?

You stay here in case anyone comes up. And when I come back, I'll sing to you.

Be like a pathworthy so you'll know it's me.

So if anyone comes up and they're not singing, you'll know not to let them in

and make a noise.

But if I come up and I am singing, then you'll know it's me and you can open the

door. See?

Probably a small cloud overhead.

just a gag.

Why don't we all go upstairs now? No! Hey, George!

Let's all have another drink.

Hey, George.

George!

Here.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

Good Lord, no.

Well,

to be frank, I must be frank.

be frank, by all means.

Don't worry.

I shall attend to the frank matter.

Excuse me. George!

Maybe he doesn't want us to go upstairs.

No. I mean, yes. No, no. Come on, George.

What the hell have you got up there, any other wild man of Borneo?

about this is my pride and joy.

These are the bedrooms and there's a bathroom and separate lavatories.

Oh, hello.

I'm in here.

What is that noise? In here.

Rain drops falling on my head.

There's a lovely garden from here. Is everything running smoothly?

Oh, fine, fine.

George.

Fletcher, the bed.

Yes, yes, the bed, of course.

I'm sorry, George.

I've wet the bed.

Did you say something, George?

George, George, show Mr. Fletcher the bed.

I'll show him the one in our room. They're all the same. Now, come along,

everyone. We don't want to waste any time. That reminds me, I have to get

to town.

I'm done with that.

Then we can look after each other.

I think you'll find this rather interesting. Yeah, but I want to know,

computerise it further?

Has he signed yet?

Well, no, not yet. Well, he surely does.

Fast. Now, could I refer you to this little area here, which I feel could be

Shirley's?

Betty, I think that ball's affecting my ears.

I can hear the sea.

Switch everything off.

Look, don't you touch anything.

There. Well, let's get down to business by all means.

I'll put it back. Yes, put it back.

And I slam right here.

Get him a chair.

Get him a pen, you fool. Is that part of the whole deal? I don't think... A pen,

a pen.

I'm not so keen on that. I can't find the mines anywhere.

I'll have to look in the kitchen.

Wait a minute, what's this?

Randy, for God's sake.

Frank, you'll have to tell George.

I'll try and keep this water away from these butchers.

Now, don't touch her. You'll electrocute yourself.

If you stay here, we're bound to be.

Now, well, this is a man's job. I thought I'd crossed my foot.

I noticed anything.

No, I don't think so, Frank.