Original subtitles

- 1935. You filthy alien garbage heap.

This misappropriation of men's souls is a very serious crime.

(screaming) - Ohh! Oh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ah.

Ahhh!

Ahh! Ahh!

No!

Ahh!

Ahh.

- Come on, don't hang about.

This is torture.

- Exactly, dear boy.

And furthermore, your expression is beginning to capture the mood completely.

- No.

- Practice hard until I'm ready for the shot.

In the meantime, I'll be back after lunch.

- Oh.

No!

No.

Ahh!

Ah, ahh, ahh!

Ahh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- You are watching the program Immortal Film Classics

to Fall Asleep By.

When you hear the tone, it will be 5:00 AM.

Please stay tuned.

(alarm clock ringing)

- At six o'clock, one hour from now, we will present

our daily educational program, University at Daybreak.

Today's subject will be the evils of educational television.

That's in one hour from now.

May we remind you to tune in to our six o'clock news tonight.

Today's events will include one gangland killing,

one accidental killing,

six persons held hostage in a Brooklyn bank,

the Board of Health reopening a gay bar, a venereal disease clinic

at an old-age home in Queens,

and President Ford walking and chewing gum at the same time.

And now, back to our film.

- What a long time.

As you say.

Does he not do it?

Is that your choice?

- Phyllis...

- Oh my God.

- Good morning, love child. - Good morning, love child.

Pleasant dreams?

- It was weird.

I dreamt

I jumped into a large vat of ice water.

- Oh, really?

All alone?

- Uhh, yeah, actually, all alone.

Funny, huh? - Hysterical.

- Who are we gonna have today?

- A critic, I think.

- A critic? Just what I need, an intellectual.

- No, no, a film critic.

- Have we ever had him before?

- I don't think so.

- I don't think I can handle him all by myself.

Do you think we could share him? - Must we?

- Didn't I help you out with the tennis player?

- The things I do.

- Thanks.

- I bet he'll want to take pictures.

- Do you think they mind if I took a picture?

- Uh, no. Why don't you sit down?

Make yourself comfortable.

- Good morning, I'm Jillian Blake.

How do you do? - Charmed, charmed.

- Hi, nice to see you.

Nice to have you on the show.

Can I get some coffee here, please?

Uh, Sam?

- Hello, Phyllis. Mind if I take a picture?

- Do we have a copy of the book? - How's it look up here?

Okay? (all chattering) - I thought you said he was a critic.

- Would you mind saying something into the microphone?

We need levels. - I know.

Actually I'd like to say a few words about-- (others chatter)

- Just say that we're going to be on the air in a few minutes.

Just pretend you're in your own living room.

- Mind if I take a pic, then?

- Oh well, take (chatter)-- - Quiet!

Five seconds.

- Hi, sleepyheads, it's Jillian Blake.

- And I'm William Blake.

- And with us today, we have a very good friend of ours,

the noted film critic and historian,

Harold Harold.

You may not always respect him, but you'll always agree with him.

I think I got that wrong.

- Well, let's do traffic. - The LIE is all jammed up.

The Triborough is a mess. (helicopter noise)

And the East Side Highway is bumper to bumper.

Best way into New York now is the 108th Street footbridge.

- And we're back on the air with Harold Harold.

- The state of the film industry is deplorable.

I see ten to fifteen films a week.

Just the other night, a thing called CRUSH STOCKINGS.

It was a travesty.

First of all, the sound.

I love sound.

No sound.

Also, the photography, completely out of focus.

Now, the script.

I mean, I dunno who's writing these scripts.

I just can't understand them. Nothing.

Every time I started to get into it, I just couldn't understand a thing.

- But Harold,

if the film was so terrible, then why did you give it such a good review?

- Well, actually, I think it was the director.

I think he's a great, great director.

And I have to admire him for being such a great director.

He's a great director, that's...

What I can tell you. Everything he's done, I've loved.

- The FDR is loosening up.

The best way into New York now is the Staten Island Ferry.

- It's 15 seconds before ten o'clock.

- What? Already? - How time flies!

- And thanks to our guests for getting up so early to be with us.

- Until tonight at 5:00, this is Billy's Jillian.

- And Jillian's Billy! Have a nice day.

- Drive carefully. - Off the air.

Off the air. Wrap it up. Careful of it. (all chattering)

- How many times a day are you on?

- Twice a day.

- We get the folks to work and we bring them home.

- And we even appeal to those who roam.

You were wonderful. - When can I hear my interviews?

- I'm not really sure. You see, they delay the interviews.

- Someone at the station decides when the exact moment is right

for that particular subject to go on the air.

It's, it's an astrologer, I believe.

- Oh, that's my hobby.

I'm a bull. - Hah ha! You didn't have to tell us!

- If you won't be needing me anymore, I'll be getting back to town.

I have some problems for Tuesday's programming.

- What problems?

- Uhh, I'll call you later.

(music)

- I told Taylor Hawkins I was trying to see him first thing this morning.

- Aren't you going to see him at the party tonight?

- Uh, well there may be a new agency man there.

You know (indistinct) - oh.

- I'll try and call you later from the city,

okay? Maybe we can have lunch if you're in town.

- Where can I reach you if I have to get in touch with you?

- We may be taping some spots.

I don't know what studio it is yet, uhh.

I'll call you as soon as I get squared away.

(engine starts)

(footsteps tapping)

(street noise)

(whimsical music)

(indistinct conversation)

- I'll be right back.

- All right.

Hey, can I fix anything?

- Yes, I'd love a maraschino cherry juice.

- You've got it.

- And a Two Cents Plain.

- Ha!

- Hiya, Love Bunny.

- Hiya, Love Bunny.

- What's Big Love Bunny going to do to Little Love Bunny?

- Well, Big Love Bunny is going to come and sit down right next

to Little Love Bunny.

- And put his hand up Little Love Bunny's skirt?

- And put his hand right up Little Love Bunny's skirt.

(kissing)

(moans)

- Big Love Bunny's got Little Love Bunny's point.

Ah!

Big Love Bunny's playing with Little Love Bunny's nippy.

(moaning) Ahh.

Ooh.

Oh.

(easy mood music)

Oh, Big Love Bunny got his finger on Little Love Bunny's pussy.

Ooh.

(moans)

- Ahh.

- Ohh.

(moaning)

Big Love Bunny's playing with Little Love Bunny's clitty.

(moaning)

Big Love Bunny's got his fingers in Little Love Bunny's tiny.

(moaning)

Big Love Bunny is going in and out of Little Love Bunny.

Big Love Bunny is putting his other finger

back in Little Love Bunny's fuzzy.

(moaning) (jazzy keyboard music)

- Do you like that?

Should I go on?

Is this terrific?

- Oh, Big Love Bunny.

Scoop egg. I was making little love, Love Bunny.

(moaning)

- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

- Gilly, Gilly, Gilly.

- That's only one bird's opinion.

We'll have to take a more conclusive survey.

- [Gilly V.O.] I haven't let myself go, too much.

- Put Big Love Bunny's finger up Little Love Bunny's ass.

Put Big Love Bunny's great big cock

up Little Love Bunny's teensy weensy ear.

I've got it.

- [Gilly V.o.] You've got it.

You'll cheat.

- I'll cheat.

A little messing around.

- [Gilly V.O.] You've got a lot of reasons.

- I have lots of reasons.

- [Gilly V.o.] Name some.

Number one.. - It'll give me reassurance.

- [Gilly V.o.] Number two... - It'll give them reassurance.

- [Gilly V.O.] Number three... - It'll feel good.

- [Gilly V.o.] No, stupid.

- Well, if I can find a few acquaintances

and appeal to the inner man

in each of them,

well then perhaps I can find the inner man in my own husband.

- [Gilly V.O.] Right on, sister!

- Music.

(sweeping music)

- I don't admit that I did anything wrong, but even if I did,

there's such a thing, Gilly,

as the three-year, five-month itch.

I think you know me well enough.

You know I'm not a sexist.

You see, sometimes men and women have different needs.

- I'm living in a soap opera.

- Well, if it isn't a question of needs, well then sometimes

men and women are just a little out of sync.

- Our marriage is going through its dubbed period.

- I mean, I would understand it perfectly well if you decided

to suddenly get very hung up on, say uh, doing social work.

Or if you just wanted to spend a few hours by yourself once in a while.

- I think they put something in your maraschino cherry juice

and Two Cents Plain.

- Yunno Gilly,

the solitary aspect of modern man is considered by many

to be the most neglected.

- I know they put something in your maraschino cherry juice.

- I mean, who could possibly argue

with the fact that it is the female of the species,

who is by far the more understanding,

and uh, as a result of that proclivity of nature,

the more forgiving.

- I wouldn't forgive you if George Brent asked me to.

- Maybe that's the trouble.

(cocktail party noise)

- She has nothing on.

You know who she's going with now, don't you? My goodness!

Well, that's why she's showing so much of it, I suppose.

- Hey, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers! How are you?

(general chatter)

- Hey, big fella, keep up the good work there.

Hey Morton, where's the booze?

- It's over there in the corner.

- Oh Kenny, my God!

He's gained about fifty pounds!

Of course, you know why.

They're not doing it anymore.

- Everything okay? - Yes, ma'am.

(chatter)

- Do you see her walking down there?

- Oh my god. - Gilly.

- Hi, Ernie. Gee, I think this is the best costume party

I've been to this year.

- Is this a costume party?

- We don't get to see you very often.

- Well, I do have to get up earlier than most people.

- You don't practice the good neighbor policy?

(chuckfing)

- Depends on how good I think the neighbor is.

- Can I have another drink, please?

- Looks like we arrived just in time, Marvin.

Are you having fun?

- A little too many people for my taste.

I don't feel too comfortable. - Put the air conditioner on.

- You better get another case of champagne.

- Well, I really don't know where it is. - Come with me and I'll show you.

Keep me company?

- The music is so loud.

- Are you man enough to lift it?

Come here, let's see.

It's check-up time.

I'm going to blow your mind.

(background party noise)

(moaning)

- Hey Gloria, you're pretty good at that.

- Don't tell Morton what I'm doing.

- Oh no, no, I wouldn't say anything.

- Because if I know my husband Morton,

it'll be all over the neighborhood in 24 hours.

- Not bad.

(moaning)

- Hi, Love Bunny.

I'm sorry, I forgot!

Hey, I could go for you.

- Here it comes.

- I'll bet you use up a lot of champagne at your parties.

- Yunno I heard he lost his job.

At least they demoted him or something.

I can't remember exactly what she told me.

We were under the hairdresser dryer and, uh,

yeah, I think that was it. He's getting half his salary now.

That's why they can't do anything.

- [Gilly V.o.] I've got it!

- You've got it.

You'll cheat.

- [Gilly V.o.] I'll cheat.

A little messing around.

- I think you're running a little low on the champagne.

- I know where it is.

- Wait, do you know where the Chateau Great Western is?

- What? - I'll show you.

(music)

Wait a minute.

Are you man enough to lift that? - Sure.

- No, no. Come here, dummy.

It's checkup time.

- Well, what are you dressed as?

- The cover of After Dark.

- Here we go.

Don't get too excited.

It's not good to get too excited.

It's really growing.

Uh, it's getting big and hard.

Come on.

Oh, isn't this great, baby?

You're really gonna get off.

So big and firm.

It's getting really big now.

It's growing. It's really growing.

We're getting close.

Bring it up. (breathes heavily)

We're really gonna get off now.

Come on.

We're really gonna get off.

Come on, let it go.

Come on.

Let it come.

- You, you already got off once today, didn't you?

- No, I haven't gotten off in two weeks.

- I wish they would do something about those plants.

Yunno, I love plants.

I can't stand to see them all dried up like that.

I think it's a pity, really.

I mean, after all, they can't go walking away and get some water.

It's not like a dog or anything, yunno.

- Hi, team. - Hello, Mrs. Blake.

We have to change tomorrow's interview completely.

- Billy, uh, your slip is showing.

- I don't care.

- I like a girl who likes old-fashioneds.

- Oh, I'll bet you modern girls are the way.

- You'd be surprised.

I really am rather old-fashioned in many ways.

- No hanky-panky, no inzy-outzy?

- Not with you, Mrs. Blake.

I would never fool around with a married woman.

- You really mean that?

- Absolutely.

However, should you decide to leave your husband,

perhaps we could capture a rare moment of lost elegance.

(music)

- [Gilly V.O.] If I can find a few acquaintances and appeal to the inner man

in each of them,

well then perhaps I can find the inner man in my own husband.

Right on, sister.

- Have you ever thought about diseases? I mean,

have you ever thought about how many diseases can attack

your lawn?

Smut, brown patch, powdery mildew.

If you cut the grass too short, it dies out.

If you forget to water it, it dries out.

If you get a hot summer, it dries out.

All that hard labor for nothing.

- Oh, I think I've had it. It's so hot in here.

Come on, let's go. Oh, Jane, yunno it's so nice to see you again.

- Oh, you're not leaving are you? - You look lovely.

You lost about twenty pounds!

It's great. It really used it. I love it. Come on, let's go, dear.

We've had enough, those canapés...

Yunno, there I was, I didn't eat all day, just waiting for those canapés.

It's just simply awful.

Inever tasted such...

- How did you get your pants all dirty?

- I only have to give my name, rank, and serial number.

- What does that mean?

- Welcome to World War III.

We've been talking with the authoress

of the American Lesbian's Quick Weight Loss Diet Cookbook.

- Have a good day. - Drive carefully.

- Thank you very much. That was very nice.

- Thank you.

- How many times a day do you both do this?

- Twice a day.

- Yeah, we take people to work and we bring them home.

- We even appeal to those who roam.

- Thank you. You were wonderful. - Uh, Mrs. Blake?

- Yes?

- This is tomorrow's schedule.

- Oh, very good. Mm-hmm.

- If you don't need me anymore, I'll be going.

- All right. I'll see you in the morning.

(music)

- I thought that went pretty well.

- It was all right.

- Uh, well, I have to get into town.

I have a, uh, a client's meeting this afternoon, so I'll see you later.

- Ernie Miklos, please.

Jillian Blake.

Ernie, Gilly,

I've been a very naughty little girl.

- A naughty little girl?

- A very naughty little girl, and I need to be punished.

- Punished?

- Oh, no, no, no, not that one.

Use this one.

It's so big and black.

- Okay. - Punish me.

Beat me.

- Okay. - Whip me.

Punish me. (whip snapping)

I've been very bad, very bad.

Take me. Punish me.

Oh, yes.

(screams) (shouts)

-Aghh!

Want this one? Okay!

- Ooh! Aahh!

- Oh, I love this.

Ooh! - Ahhl!

- I like this.

Where's my vibrator? Oh, come on.

I love this so much, Jill. It's wonderful!

This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Gilly, I love it! - Ernie?

- Gilly, I love you for letting me do this! - Stop it. That hurts.

- It's fantastic. It's fantastic. - Stop it!

Stop it! (objects crashing)

- That was... wonderful!

Would you beat me here?

Would you beat me right here?

Beat me right here. I got some skin.

Look, I got a bruise here! Beat me right here.

Ouch. Ouch. Come on. Right here. Ow. Ow.

What are you doing? You're not gonna take all the things!

Oh, no, don't take that. I like that.

Ooh! What'd you do with the vibrator? No, wait. Beat me like this.

Beat me. Look. Beat me on the stomach.

Beat me on the stomach! I like being beaten on the stomach.

Ohh, ohh, ohh. Give me something. oh, give me this.

Give me the mouthpiece, too. Oh I want the chain!

I want this, too. Oh, I want this.

Oh, ow. Ouch! I love it so much.

It's wonderful. More, more, more!

Ooh! Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

(playful music)

(laughing)

- Get away. No, really, I don't have time now.

No, not now. Phyllis, I have to get back.

(furniture snaps)

Phyllis, no!

Stop. Phyllis, I don't have time to sit here.

Phyllis!

Phyllis, will you please?

Phyllis.

Phyllis!

Phyllis, I'm tellin' ya. That's enough, okay?

Phyllis. Oh! Phyllis!

Phyllis! Ow!

Phyllis, wait.

Oh, please.

Phyllis!

(moaning)

- Little Love Bunny does that so well.

Okay, honey. You want it?

You got it.

(moans)

Little Love Bunny likes it.

- Little Love Bunny loves you. Big Love Bunny inside.

(moaning)

- That's it. - Little Love Bunny wants a bottle.

Now.

(stirring music)

(moaning)

(coins dropping in payphone)

(phone rings)

- Hello.

Oh Marvin, it's Gilly.

- Oh hi, Gilly.

- I'd like to see you.

- Okay, but someplace very private.

- I'm not gonna eat you.

- I know people think I'm an ineffectual creep,

but I really don't like to be conspicuous.

- I'll work it out.

- Thanks, Gilly.

- Billy. - Yes, darling.

- What do you think of Marvin Goodman?

- I think he's an ineffectual creep.

(piano jazz music)

- Billy.

- Yes.

- Good night, Billy.

(film projector whirring)

- In keeping with our policy of keeping you abreast

of current trends in today's permissive society,

we have with us a very special kind of actress who deals

in a very special kind of film.

One that, in fact, we are watching right here this morning.

And I must say that it is of a very, uh, explicit nature.

I would have to add, it is certainly well acted,

done with enthusiasm, creativity,

and it does deal in a very, uh, explicit fashion.

However, it does certainly have what I would consider redeeming

socialist values.

- Social. - Uh, social values.

I can only say that it is very, uh, explicit.

Uh, Gilly, would you say that?

- Uh, I would say that it's very...

explicit.

- Now we pause for just thirty seconds.

I'd like to thank our guest for getting up so early to be with us this morning.

Have a good day.

Phew!! (chuckles)

- It's quite a show.

- How many times a day are you on? - Twice a day.

- Yes you see, we get people to work and then we bring them home.

- We even appeal to those who roam.

- I have to get back into town because I'm doing some

promos with Taylor today.

So I'll see you later.

(laughter) (street noise)

- I don't know why they don't have smaller parties.

- Marvin, it's Gilly.

Listen, can I meet you someplace?

I promise you it'll be very inconspicuous.

Hi.

Hello, Marvin.

- What's this?

- I couldn't get a taxi anywhere.

- What are you, nuts?

- It'll, come on. - A bus?

- It'll be all right. - It's...

Isn't it a little conspicuous? - It's very nice. It's all to ourselves.

- I want my privacy.

- No one is here. - Gilly, you're crazy.

- Okay, take it away. - Wait a minute.

...on a bus? I asked you for privacy. - Come on upstairs.

- No, but privacy. I'm afraid-- - Don't be crazy.

- I don't have any English money. Gilly. - I have everything under control.

It's all taken care of.

- But I told you I don't like to be conspicuous.

Gilly, you're crazy. - Marvin, they can't see in.

- What do you mean they can't see in? Of course they can see in.

Are you nuts?

- Look, you can see everything up here.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- Look. - I don't want to look, Gilly.

- Isn't it lovely down there?

Isn't it?

(laughs) Marvin, this is silly now.

- If somebody sees me. My office is-- - Marvin, no one's out here looking.

They should all be working, you know that. - I have a business associate right here.

On this block.

- Marvin! - Gilly!

- Marvin.

Let's go to the back.

- The back? - The back.

Stand up. It'll be a lot easier.

Marvin. - I don't want to get up.

- Nobody's watching, Marvin. It's gonna be all right.

You're too uptight.

You should be able to get up. - oh Gilly, you're crazy.

- Marvin, please get up. - I'm saying.

- Marvin. Come on.

Look at that. It's going to be all right. - Gilly. That looks like my wife.

Oh, no.

- Marvin, don't you know the secret of life?

- Secret? What secret?

- You got to tell the whole world to go fuck themselves.

- Tell the world to go--

- Don't you understand that the more people that there are,

the less they see?

(jaunty music)

- Gilly.

Maybe if nobody sees--

- Would you like to get off on Fifth Avenue?

- Gilly.

What are you doing?

Gilly.

Gilly!

I don't think you're completely aware of your position.

(moans)

Hello there. Go fuck yourself.

That's right.

This is Marvin here.

Fuck you all!

How do you do?

Go fuck yourself.

You too, you fucking cab driver.

You little bitch.

Hello, you fucking idiots out there. Go fuck yourself.

Fuck you all. I've got little Gilly right here.

What have you got? Your fucking briefcases.

(laughs) Oh... Oh, Gilly.

(moans)

Oh, this is the only way to travel.

(moans)

(loud moaning)

- Okay, that's enough.

Come on. - No, come on.

- Phyllis, come on. - Come on, Mark, come on.

- All right now, what's happening in Chicago?

Are you sure there is such a thing as naturally refined sugar?

You find out then.

Okay.

Okay, let me know.

Right.

Little Love Bunny.

(baroque music)

(moaning)

- How many times a day do you do this?

- Twice a day.

- We get the folks to work, and we bring them home.

- We even appeal to those who roam.

- I'll be going now, Mrs. Blake, if you don't need me.

- I don't need you.

Yes? - It's Marvin.

Terrific news. - I can hardly wait to hear it.

- You've made a new man out of me. - Congratulations.

- When do I see you again?

- You don't.

- I don't?

In spite of the impression I may have given you, I'm not an adulteress.

- I just borrowed a very nice apartment from a friend of mine.

With a terrace and lots of traffic.

- Thanks anyway, Marvin. I'm flattered.

Take care now, Marvin. Bye-bye.

(receiver clatters)

- Hello, Ethel.

Listen, I'll be home early tonight.

Anything I can pick up for you at the store?

- Perhaps we could capture a rare moment of lost elegance.

- Taylor, Jillian Blake.

Listen I'm in terrible trouble.

You've got to help me.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm so glad you came. Where can we talk?

- Down there.

- Oh, I'm so upset. I'm leaving Billy.

I've had just about all I can take. I really need somebody to talk to.

- Please calm down, Gilly. - (indistinct)

- What's wrong?

- There's such a thing as a three-year, five-month itch.

- Now calm down.

- Taylor, thank you for meeting me.

- Well, what are friends for?

- You're really very nice.

- Now what's all this about you going to leave Billy?

- Going to leave Billy? I've left Billy.

It's over. It's done.

I'm free. I couldn't be happier.

- What did Billy do to make you so happy?

- He's having an affair with another woman.

- What?

Oh, when? Does he sleep out?

- Oh Christ, no, he'd never do that.

- Oh, well, that's a completely different story.

A woman should never be jealous over what happens to her husband

before seven o'clock at night.

- How's that?

- I think you're making a mistake.

- You do?

- Certainly do.

Go back to him.

Fight him on his own ground.

Cheek to jowl.

- Fuzzy to fuzzy, you mean.

- Go back to him. Go back.

If only we could all go back.

Back to a simpler time. A less complicated time.

- Taylor, come on. - When life was so much easier.

- Couldn't I stay single just a little while longer?

- May I invite you to a lovely luncheon?

I know a wonderful place.

- Taylor, you make me feel so je ne sais quoi.

When I'm with you, I feel like something out of a silent movie.

- What?

(projector sputter)

(projector sputter)

(tango music)

(tango music continues)

(projector sputter)

(phone rings)

- Hello?

You may cancel the brandy.

(receiver clatters)

(piano jazz music)

- If you stick your tits out you know you'll look better.

Get over there. Get over there.

Come on, tits out, honey. Come on.

Smile! - Keep it bright, Gilly.

- Come on, Gilly.

I know you hate it, but how often do you do publicity shots?

- Oh, the cheeks. Put out the cheeks. Wait. Wait. Oh, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait.

A little more makeup here. - Keep it bright, Gilly.

- Let's go. Come on. Come on. Attagirl. - Less lipstick.

- Okay. Tits out!

- We had a full discussion.

I expla-- Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Hello? - Hi, Love Bunny.

How are you?

- Hi.

- I have to go take a script out to Gilly.

- Okay, why don't I meet you about 3:3o?

- Okay.

You gonna play with Little Love Bunny's fuzzy?

(clears throat) - Err, okay, yeah.

Er, that's fine.

Yeah.

I'll, uh, we'll have dessert together.

- Okay.

Bye-bye. (smooches) - Bye.

(receiver clatters)

Always something.

- Big, terrific. And please tell Billy I'm so sorry I missed him.

- I'll tell him. - Yes, well, okay.

- Thank you very much. - It's always a pleasure.

Thank you, Gilly. - Bye-bye.

- Bye.

(music box music)

- Hi, Mrs. Blake.

I saw you in the pool and, well, I thought, um-- Do I look as good

as Billy did?

- Better.

Much better.

- I brought the revisions for tomorrow.

- Thanks.

- I wanted to ask you something.

I've been offered this job in television, and I'd like your opinion.

I don't know what to do.

I could go for you.

- Come here.

You like Billy, don't you?

- He's very nice.

- I mean you'd like to be with him?

- Well yes, I do.

- Must you dance every dance with the same fabulous man?

If you're going to leave,

I'd better kiss you goodbye. - What?

I never kissed my boss's wife before.

- Mmm I'm feeling your body.

(moody funk music)

I'm feeling your fuzzy.

I'm going to kiss your little fuzzy.

(moaning)

(fast percussive music)

- Nice, baby.

(gentle music) (moaning)

- I don't understand Billy.

I mean, I never would have left you for me.

- I wouldn't have either.

- I've never been in love before.

I realize that now.

- In love?

- Totally and completely.

I can't wait to tell Billy.

- Billy! Now, just a second.

- Don't worry.

This will always be the one true love of my life,

but it will always remain incognito.

Now I'll have to take that job.

Dear Big Love Bunny, I love you.

I have, I do, and I always will.

Something happened to me today that, well, I hope it happens to you,

except it already has.

I mean, it's hard to explain,

but I've met my one perfect love,

and I'm leaving you.

I'm leaving everything.

I'm getting out of your life, out of New York City,

and out of the apartment I'm subletting.

For the first time, I've experienced

complete emotional and physical fulfillment.

I've known the act of unselfish love.

I am complete.

I think it's time to move to Southern California.

Always think of me as one who loved, not wisely,

but unwell. - Hi.

Have a good day?

- I'm tired tonight.

- Wish I had a glass of wine.

And a joint?

Why don't they throw the garb over it?

- Marguerite, I know why you left Puerto Rico like that.

I know why you said and did

all the things that you tried so hard to make me believe.

You should have told me the truth.

- I meant well, but that isn't enough, is it?

- Who are we going to have tomorrow?

- An explorer.

- Oh, really?

What's he done?

- I think he's the only man with just the stars to guide him,

to ever successfully reach the top of Anita Ekberg.

- Phyllis is leaving the show.

- No one's irreplaceable.

- No.

- No.

We still get the folks to work.

- And we'll get them home. (sighing)

- We even appeal.

- To those.

- But it doesn't.

- It will.

- I feel lousy.

- Poor baby.

- I'll help you, Marguerite.

- Don't start, Gilly.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get it on again.

- I'll make you well again.

- Not even with me?

Do you want to get off?

Hmm?

(elegant music)

(moaning)

Stand up, please.

(sweeping music) (moaning)

- Oh, baby.

(kissing)

(jazzy music) (moaning)

- Show it to me.

Show it to me!

(sweeping music)

(sighs)

What's that?

- Nothing important.

(jaunty music)