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1 Looks like our new neighbors are finally moving in.

Ooh, I hope they're fun and nice.

They're not.

Babe, you haven't even met them yet.

My point exactly. What kind of people

don't introduce themselves to the neighbors?

And especially with all that construction noise.

I hate to say it, but I'm getting a tingle.

What does that mean?

The tingle is my intuition.

And I hope it's wrong, because one new neighbor

can change the whole vibe of a neighborhood.

Yeah. I just hope it's not another Dave.

Me, too. That would be confusing.

But maybe he could be "New Dave."

And I could be "O.G. Dave."

Dave, do you even know what that stands for?

I want to say Olive Garden but I feel like that's wrong.

No, for you it's right.

♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

(RACKETS HITTING BALL)

What the hell is that sound?

It's 6:30 in the morning!

Dave.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but are you on meth?

I wish!

Instead of being gently stirred to greet the day

by my aromatherapy white noise LED sunrise alarm,

- I was jolted awake by that... - (RACKETS HITTING BALL)

Whack! Whack! Whack!

Dave, you don't have to do it. We all hear it.

What the hell are those new neighbors doing over there?

I don't know.

Either they're building something

or they're killing something,

but either way it needs to be finished.

See, this is what I was worried about with new folks moving in.

We have a way that we do things around here.

Now you go over there and you tell them

how we do things around here.

Why are you making me a Karen?

I don't want them to hate me.

Go on now!

Tina, I'm wearing slippers!

You cannot argue with people in slippers.

What if things go wrong? I'm-a need some grip!

- Fine. Go change. - All right, then.

By the way, you know, Calvin, I like the pajamas.

I never pictured you as a pajama guy.

Just laying in bed, all cozy.

Dave, don't picture me in bed.

(SHOUTING)

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

One-button collapsible, portable, lightweight my ass!

(SHOUTING)

I know it's a pain, but my mom really wants

to take Daphne to the beach.

So your mama is in town babysitting for a whole week?

What are you two going to do with yourselves?

Ooh! I know what we should do.

We should go to the Long Beach aquarium.

I want to see them feed that red octopus.

That sounds fantastic.

But actually, I can't. I have a date.

A date, you say.

Yeah, just some guy I met on Tinder.

Tinder, you say.

That's great!

Good for you.

Okay, that's great.

- Yeah. - That's great.

That's great. Great, great, great.

Marty, Marty, Marty.

You are buffering.

You're cool with this, right?

With your date? Girl, of course!

Ain't nobody worried about your date.

No, I'm just... I'm just upset at this

non-portable playpen that I hate with the fury of ten hells!

(CHUCKLES)

We can help you out, little bro.

Oh. Oh.

I was gonna do that next.

Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

All right.

Go on and get your groove back, girl!

Ha!

(CHUCKLES) Ah...

Okay. Okay. Uh...

(CLEARS THROAT) What's going on?

Going on? Man, nothing. I'm great.

I'm great. I'm great.

Don't start that again.

It's fine. It's fine. Courtney and I are not a couple.

You know, we're just co-parents.

So, she's going on a date,

and I'm-a see a red octopus.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(RACKETS HITTING BALL)

All right, now, Calvin, don't worry, if this goes sideways,

I brought pepper spray.

Damn it!

It's just my inhaler.

Hey. Neighbors?

Hey, look. I'm Calvin, right across the street.

This is Dave,

the next house over. Nice to meet you.

I'm Zak. No C, just K.

Okay, look, here's the thing, Zak.

This is a quiet neighborhood.

And there is an awful lot of noise coming from your backyard.

Oh, my gosh. It's my pickleball, isn't it?

Yeah, all I'm asking is

can you not play it at the crack of dawn?

And maybe... not at all?

Oh. I'm so sorry.

We didn't realize the sound carried.

How about we don't play till 9:00 a.m., is that cool?

Thank you. We'll appreciate that.

You know how it is with pickleball, right?

You start playing, you just can't stop.

No, I wouldn't know.

I don't play sports that aren't sports.

Wait, you've never played pickleball?

You must. It will consume you.

Everything okay, honey?

Hey, babe, meet our new neighbors,

Calvin and Dave.

They are pickleball virgins.

Oh, my God, well, let us pop your pickle!

I'm Sara, just an A, no H.

That's a thing with you guys, huh?

Come on in. We have extra paddles.

You know, doubles is twice as much fun as singles.

Nah, I'm good. Thank you.

You hear that, babe? I think our new neighbors are scared.

Whoa. Whoa. Ain't nobody scared to play you at baby tennis.

You must be from that generation

that doesn't want to be beaten by a girl.

First of all, we are allies.

And I will whup a woman.

Whoa...

That came out wrong. Obviously.

Whatever, it's on! Let's pickle.

SARA: Yours! Got it!

Hey, hey. (SHOUTS)

Ooh! Sorry, Calvin. Kitchen violation.

(DAVE SHOUTS)

Oh!

Well, that's game. You're a fast learner, Calvin.

Okay, hey, one more game? Calvin?

Nah. Tina's been texting me.

Plus I've been playing so long,

my drawers are sticking to my leg.

Hey, Marty.

MARTY: Hey. A little birdie told me

Courtney back in these streets.

Is that little birdie six-one with a beard?

Well, let me ask you...

would you like to get back in these streets, too?

You know what?

If she's going to get back in these streets,

there's no reason why I should not be in these streets.

So yes. Give me streets!

Okay. Don't say it like that.

But it just so happens, tomorrow night at Ernie's bar,

I'm hosting a balloon pop.

Oh. What's a balloon pop?

I saw it on YouTube. It's a dating game where

a line of beautiful women hold balloons.

Yes. And I bring out a single guy,

he tells the women about himself,

and the women who aren't interested pop their balloons.

I'm in!

All right. You in, Malcolm?

I mean, your phone's dry.

Wait. So I just stand there,

and let the women decide whether or not

they want to go out with me?

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

You know what, that would take the pressure off.

I am terrible at choosing women.

I always end up overthinking and picking the wrong person.

Yeah, you do that a lot.

- You're notoriously bad. - You don't have to tell us.

Okay, okay, I know. Please. You know what?

- I'm in. - All right!

I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Okay. H-Hey. Give me some.

- All right, all right. - It's gonna be fun, man.

- In the streets. Marty in the streets. - Oh, oh, oh.

It's $50 apiece, with a two-drink minimum.

Really, Trey?

Hey, man, you know when they say love don't cost a thing?

They lied.

Dave hasn't come back. Have you heard from Calvin?

No. You know, I knew I had a bad feeling

about those new neighbors.

I bet you they're those perky, chatty, friendly types

who insist on being your best friend,

and who pop over all the time.

Tina, you realize you just described us.

Yeah, but y'all grew on me.

Hey, babe.

Ugh, there you are!

What took you so long?

We have been pickleball-ing.

Pickleball? Is that what that noise was?

Yup, it's noisy, but it's fantastic.

Hey, and you guys should meet our new neighbors,

the, uh, Zerleckys.

They're fun,

fun people, great hosts,

and you should see their dinks.

(LAUGHING)

Excuse me?

Calvin, they don't get it. They're not p-ballers.

Get your foot off my counter.

CALVIN: Nah, babe.

A dink is the word for a soft shot in the kitchen.

So you play in the kitchen?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

- You hear that, Calvin? - It's hilarious. I know, right?

No, babe, the kitchen is a zone near the net

where you're not allowed to volley.

So did you ask them to stop playing so early?

Yeah.

Yes, yes.

No playing before 9:00 a.m.

Boom.

Oh, but, uh, remember

- they have that brunch thing. - Oh.

Forgot about that.

Yeah, so, except for tomorrow.

We're just gonna get a quick game in at 7:00 a.m.

All right, look at that. Another love connection!

Let's get these ladies some fresh balloons.

All right, let's bring up our next bachelor, Marty!

Good evening, fair maidens.

Oh!

Wow. Uh, okay.

Uh, why don't you tell them something about yourself.

Yes, well, uh, I'm a new father...

Uh, no, see, see, I'm-I'm not with the mother.

It was a one-night stand.

No! No, not like that! She-she works for me.

You'd better start lying.

No. My truth is amazing.

Fun fact about me...

I am quite literally a rocket scientist.

Y'all don't like science?!

What is wrong with you people?!

All right. Well, that went much faster than I expected.

MARTY: Hey.

That phone you're on?

- That is science! - (BALLOON POPS)

Now y'all just wasting balloons!

(RACKETS HITTING BALL)

Oh.

Oh, my God. (GROANING)

That's Calvin and Dave, isn't it?

Hear that girlish grunt?

(HIGH-PITCHED GRUNT)

Yup, that's Dave.

Oh, this is so annoying!

We were gonna go fantasy bathroom shopping.

What the hell is that?

It's this fun activity

where we plan a bathroom remodel that we can't afford.

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

(HIGH-PITCHED GRUNT)

Actually, that's sadder.

These women are brutal!

That's okay.

I'm just gonna lay myself bare out there,

and let the pops come.

The pops sting, Malcolm.

All right, ladies.

Your next victim is my boy, Malcolm.

Whoo! Malcolm!

That's my brother!

Yeah, this should be quick.

Sorry. (MUTTERS, CHUCKLES)

Uh, hey. My name is Malcolm.

I'm a baseball coach at USC.

ALL: Ooh...

Now don't get too excited.

I'm just an assistant coach.

I, uh, I can't be a head coach

because I dropped out of college to go pro.

Yes.

I did not make it. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

I got hurt. Both knees are gone.

It's bone on bone.

(ALL MOANING)

Anyway, uh, after that I kinda spiraled down.

Yeah, until fairly recently, I was...

living on my parents' couch.

ALL: Aw...

Uh, did you not hear him?

He said he was living on his parents' couch!

On-on his parents' c...

Look, Marty, I know you're not having the best of times,

but you gotta buy another drink. It's a two-drink minimum.

CALVIN: Okay. Hey, pickle point.

Oh! Ooh, yeah!

Yeah!

You see that spin for the win, baby.

Way to go, baby.

Sorry to win and run,

but I got to go ice my glute.

No! Hang out! Stay for a victory beer.

I'm making some wings.

Hey, you ain't gotta twist my arm.

Ow!

Is there such thing as pickle elbow?

Actually, yes.

And Dr. Zak says apply a cold beer to it, stat!

(CHUCKLING)

Can't argue with my doctor.

Yeah, I'll "nurse" one of those beers.

This guy is a riot.

Hear that, Calvin? She thinks I'm a riot.

Well, she's dehydrated, Dave.

Okay, clearly I am not getting through to you.

Uh, my dating history is littered

with broken relationships.

And I can honestly say that 90% of them were my fault.

I am terrified of commitment,

so I'm warning y'all.

You do not want this! (CHUCKLES)

Are y'all hearing me?

Look, I am a mess!

He ain't lying.

Malcolm is a mess.

Oh, damn. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, Kayla.

(DEVIOUS LAUGHTER)

Kayla! Here comes Poppapalooza!

Malcolm and I dated for six weeks

and do you know what he did?

What'd he do?

He ghosted me!

Mm.

Guilty as charged.

Pop away.

But this? This is a different man.

This is a vulnerable man.

This is a man who has been working on himself.

Are you kidding me?!

You know what?

Give me one of those balloons.

No, no, no, ma'am.

You aren't in the game. You don't get a balloon.

You don't tell me what I can't get.

But I just did, though.

- (CLAMORING) - Hey, hey, ladies! Ladies!

No fighting. Ladies, no fighting! We got rules!

We got rules! Two-drink minimum!

Tina! Dave just texted that he's eating wings

with the pickle people.

And I made dinner!

Okay, it's a heat-and-serve from Costco, but I heated it.

I burned it.

(SCOFFS) But he doesn't know that.

All right, you know what? I saw this coming.

I told y'all I got a tingle, but nobody listened to me.

Now I'm gonna be the one that's gonna have to shut it down.

Ooh, here's your chance. New neighbor, ten o'clock.

Hi neighbors! Hey.

I just wanted to introduce myself

and drop off a peace offering.

I know we've been making a racket. No pun intended.

(LAUGHING)

I'm Allison.

Isn't that sweet? I mean, we were just talking about

how we were looking forward to meeting you.

I'm Tina.

I'm Gemma.

And intended or not, that pun was delightful.

I cannot believe this.

All I wanted was one date without having to choose.

(LAUGHS) Now I've got seven women calling me.

I don't even know her name.

Hey, hey, hey.

I hate you.

Courtney? What are you doing here?

My date was a little...

Yes?

I don't know, just kind of like...

Yes? Yes?

He was a little off.

(GASPS)

How unfortunate.

(MOUTHING)

I had him drop me off here

because I did not want him to know where I live.

Oh. So you led a crazy man to our house?

Do you need a ride home?

Would you?

I'd love to! I mean, yes, I can.

I got you. Come on. Right this way.

All right, Marty.

You're smiling way too big.

Am I? Yes.

How's this?

That's better. Okay.

Marty, don't skip.

Huh, that is so interesting.

I've never met a dental hygienist before.

Well, not one who didn't have her fingers in my mouth.

Well, now you have.

And I gotta say, your gums are spectacular.

(LAUGHS) Waterpik.

Knew it.

Ugh. Well, I've got to run.

Oh. Great meeting you.

Yeah. You know, Calvin said how much fun you guys are.

You know what? You all have to come over for dinner sometime.

And I am not taking no for an answer.

Then yes!

- Oh, hello. - Hi.

You know, Calvin, I owe you a big apology.

I mean, I was so wrong about our new neighbors.

Okay, thanks, but, uh, who was that lady?

Who? Allison?

Who's Allison?

The woman you've been playing pickleball with.

You mean Sara? Who's Sara?

The woman we've been playing pickleball with.

I've never seen that woman before in my life.

What y'all talking about?

Wait a minute now.

Yeah. Look. On the left.

That's Zak's wife Sara.

GEMMA: But that's Allison,

and she's putting her hand on Zak's back.

That's just friendly.

Now it's going down to her butt.

That's a little too friendly. Okay, I get that.

- How you doing? - Hey, now. (CHUCKLES)

How y'all doing?

Wow.

Well, now Sara and Allison are holding hands.

Okay, and Zak's kissing Sara.

Okay. All right, now.

- Now he's kissing Allison. - Okay. (CHUCKLES)

I knew it. I knew it, y'all.

The tingle is never wrong.

Those people are freaky deaky!

Okay, Zak with a K.

Yeah. Looks like they're doing more

than playing doubles over there.

(LAUGHING, MUTTERING)

Can't wait for that dinner!

(QUIETLY): Not gonna happen.

Okay, girl! (LAUGHS)

- Your pickleball days are over. - Mm-hmm.

I just bought this whole outfit.

Yeah, and I just ordered mine.

What you say now?

I-I can return mine.

I mean, soon as it come, it'll just go right back.

(MUTTERING)

sync and corrections by awaqeded www.MY-SUBS.com