Original subtitles

Mr. Lee says hello.

How kind.

And goodbye too.

- Who are these people? - Mr. Lee's henchmen!

At last.

We're doomed!

No, they are.

Countess...?

Thank you. You saved my life.

My pleasure.

It almost got bad.

How can I ever thank you?

Your skills are many, Hubert.

I do my duty, Countess.

But from now on, beware of Mr. Lee.

And of Chinamen in general.

They covet your Imperial family treasures.

Dirty reds!

Dirty yellows!

No, dirty reds.

My mistake.

You don't know China well, Mr. Bonisseur de la Bath.

Well,

you'll have to show me parts of it.

As private as they may be.

Department of External Archives and Counter-Intel

- Morning, Fayolle! - Morning, de la Bath!

Morning, Lutran.

- Hi, Corbier. - Hi, Hubert.

Morning, de la Bath.

Poulard...

- Morning! - Morning, de la Bath!

- Good skiing? - Excellent, Ledentu.

- Can I see the boss? - Okie-dokie.

That's a good one.

I like that.

Okie-dokie...

Morning, Jean-Pierre. Great disguise!

- Thank you. - My pleasure!

Mayeux, Castaing...

Morning, de la Bath.

No news from Picot?

Not a word. Not since Roussel.

- And Lefranc? - He spoke to Mongier.

What does Borges say?

What can he say? He agrees with Favre.

And with Duvernois.

I'm off, de la Bath.

Say hello to Granville.

Will do.

In fact, Comolet says hi.

Dear old Bernard.

I saw him last with Charpon, Labbouze and Delanois.

Francard too. Time flies!

I'll say!

- What are you looking at? - A blue-print.

For building a duck-shaped paddle boat.

What's it for?

Same as a normal paddle boat.

Keep an eye on it...

Of course.

I have to see Forguier.

Knock-knock!

The chief is waiting for you.

Thanks, Ledentu.

Morning, Armand.

Good to see you, Hubert. How was Gstaad?

Well, okie-dokie. Chilly at dawn, sunny at noon. Great slopes.

Glad to hear it.

A new mission.

Music to my ears!

This is for you.

He is Professor Von Zimmel, a Nazi dignitary.

Or rather...

he was.

American technology.

His name is now Octavio Pela Luerdo,

a South American wrestling impresario.

Clever.

He has decided to blackmail France.

- So we stop him? - No, we pay him.

I'll be damned!

He has a microfilm list of French collaborators with Nazis.

No surprise it's "micro" film. The list must be tiny.

Well, it's not that simple, Hubert.

Didn't General de Gaulle say all France resisted?

He did indeed.

Yes, he did.

Yep...

In any case, you'll go to Rio and buy the list for 50,000.

- Francs? - Yes.

Clever.

Why me? The Postal Service could do it.

I know, Hubert. But Von Zimmel wants our best agent.

Of course. In that case, the usual procedure?

Your papers.

You're a reporter for an evening paper.

Your name is Noël Flantier.

Noël Flantier?

Who picks these names?

Archibald Flétanchard from Undercover.

Noël Flantier...

I'll send a memo.

Look on the bright side.

Rio de Janeiro is beautiful.

The girls are gorgeous.

You'll relax.

- What? - You can relax.

Not a word I know.

Taxi, sir?

Why not?

- Where to? - Copacobana Palace.

Welcome to Rio, sir.

Obrigado!

Obrigado...

This is not the way.

It's an ambush!

Get out! And don't move!

You kill brother in Gsta.

Now die.

Last stop Rio for O-tet-tet 117.

Pardon me?

You kill brother in Gsta. Now die.

I'm sorry...

Gsta. Swizzleland. Ski.

Gstaad!

Gsta...

Find my accent funny?

Not at all.

- You racist! - I swear I'm not!

I lived in Cochinchina!

Farewell O-tet-tet 117, racist. Now die.

Get in, Hubert.

Bill Trumendous!

Dear old Bill!

- Right in the back! - See that?

So, good old Hubert?

Trouble with the Chinese?

Not at all. He mistook me for someone else.

From their perspective, we look alike.

And you, dear Bill?

South America interests the CIA now?

Good old Hubert!

Same old barrel of laughs.

It's so fucking hot!

Kidding aside...

- Why are you following me? - You tell me.

Why are you here, bastard? What's going on?

I'm on vacation. That's all.

I know you, Hubert.

Your presence means trouble.

I'm here for the women and the beaches.

I've heard great things. I came to check out Brazilian women.

Whatever!

Thanks, old chap.

If your memory comes back, call me.

I will, if the Tourism Bureau is closed.

Okay, let's do that then.

Take care, pal.

I'm terribly clumsy.

It would seem that I...

splattered you.

Be my guest.

A woman who splatters a man

is like morning dew in springtime.

Ahead lie beautiful days and fiery nights.

What a wake-up!

I'm for nothing.

The hardy arrogance of your beauty has sprayed me.

You're gorgeous, Mr...

Flantier. Noël Flantier. Reporter.

My pleasure. Carlotta.

Reporting on what?

Brazil.

Vast subject. You need an angle of attack.

I'm currently searching.

Magnificent. Do you exercise?

Not even.

Superb.

I have a good pedigree.

Let me slip into something more comfy.

I'll also be slipping into something comfy.

Carlotta?

Who'd want to harm Carlotta?

Mr. Bonisseur de la Bath?

No, Flantier.

For the microfilm, bring the money to the look-out point.

You'll recognize us.

Get in!

Keep calm, double-one seven.

Delightful voyage.

Sorry to appear rude. We needed a calm spot, double-one 7.

One-seventeen.

But the name is Flantier. Mr. Flantier.

I'm Colonel Staman.

This is Colonel Kutner.

My pleasure. Noël Flantier.

I'm doing an article on Brazil.

Don't bother.

We know why you're here, double-one 7.

One-seventeen.

We want the same man.

Go on.

Professor Von Zimmel.

- Go on. - Enough.

Will you work with the Mossad?

Go on.

It's your turn.

Will you work with the Mossad?

- The...? - Mossad.

Israeli Secret Service.

Hunt down a Nazi with Jews? How strange!

Why?

He'll recognize them.

How so?

Their noses, obviously...

Their ears, fingers,

their eyes.

I didn't mean anything...

You're France's best agent?

I mean...

"The best"... It's not for me to say.

And as I often say...

Mr. 717, this is Dolores Kuleshov.

You'll team up with her.

Thrilled to meet you.

It's an honor, OSS 117.

Your fight against Nazi barbarism is world-renown.

Our teachers wax poetic about your exploits.

For many of us, you're a legend.

A true remedy against savagery.

I must tell you you're a symbol of liberty.

I am moved and honored

to work with you, OSS 117.

Such a pretty secretary!

Excuse me?

I'm happy to have a pretty secretary.

I'm not your secretary.

Whose, then?

No one's.

I'm a colonel in the Israeli army.

We'll be working together, as equals.

Tell me when you have to carry something heavy.

You can spend the night here.

Your assailants won't find you.

The microfilm is of no interest to us.

We want Von Zimmel.

I understand.

- Remember Eichmann? - Of course.

We'll capture Von Zimmel the same way.

Judge him in Israel for his crimes.

Which are...?

Which are...

Abetting genocide.

Oh that! Yeah...

That was some story.

We'll search together.

You get the microfilm, we get the man.

It'll be just you two.

Excellent.

We're leaving for Tel Aviv.

Officially, we've never even heard of you.

Clever.

- Leave the money here. - I can't.

It belongs to France. I can't leave it with just anyone.

Don't take "just anyone" personally.

Don't think I believe what they say about... Jews and money.

It's not the case.

- Want to see your room? - Yes!

Pajamas, toothbrush.

Thanks, I'll only use the toothbrush.

Do as you please. Goodnight.

Thanks for the toothbrush.

You're welcome.

- Goodnight. - Night, guys.

Nice night, isn't it?

I'm sorry for before. I was terribly clumsy.

Don't worry. I'll atone for my sins.

Consider it forgotten.

I realize that I was...

Anti-Semitic?

I was thinking "clumsy".

Same difference.

Don't worry.

You weren't speaking viciously.

We're used to it. Our people have always provoked wild fantasies.

Thanks for admitting it.

You're obviously a little bit responsible.

Don't get angry. We need him.

I'll do what I can, sir.

Goodnight to you too.

Let's begin at the Copacabana Palace.

I'll get some stuff and leave my briefcase.

Fine. I'll start working on my own.

That's too bad.

Why not come see the hotel?

Thanks but I'd rather get working.

Don't be silly. There's a pool.

We'll start this afternoon with a bang.

Thank you, I'd rather not.

Let's meet at 1 p.m.

As you wish.

See you shortly.

You kill brother in Gstaad.

Excuse me?

Say bye-bye to Rio, OSS 117.

Herr Flantier?

Follow us, Herr Flantier.

Great to see you again.

We haven't spoken since Gstaad.

I wanted to thank you.

Excellent mission.

Very pleasant.

Don't be upset I couldn't kill all those Chinks.

I'm sorry.

I know you hate those rice-eaters.

Very stubborn, those litchi-faces.

Those grapefruit heads.

Sturdy, those prune skins.

Pineapple hearts.

Lemon wedges.

Bananas flambé.

Before they get lit.

Just bananas!

I get off here.

The Germans.

Yes, the Germans!

Would it be possible, if it exists,

to consult a list of former Nazis residing in Brazil?

There must be a...

society of former Nazis? A club, an association?

A Nazi Guild?

Germany is a democracy.

In no way does the Embassy know the whereabouts of Nazis.

Among fellow Germans...

All Germans are not Nazis.

I've heard that theory.

I must ask you to leave.

Very well.

Empty-handed, alas.

France is the country of 400 cheeses.

What's cheese in Brazilian?

Are you okay? Is all well?

So? Have you made progress?

Be my guest. You first.

I may be a secret agent, but I'm French nonetheless.

I think I've done some good work.

The CIA has been in contact with Von Zimmel.

Their agent in Rio is Bill Trumendous.

Bravo! I'm very impressed.

We've reached similar ends.

With a slight advantage for me.

Mr. Trumendous' card.

Good old Hubert!

You always have the cutest dolls by your side.

Dear old Bill!

You take every little bird under your wing!

- Too darn hot! - Sure is!

Wendy, bring us 3 Groovy Coconuts.

Shorten those skirts. They make me hot.

Brazil is a mysterious country.

People appear and disappear.

After 20 years here, there must be a trace.

Maybe so...

but I don't know.

Maybe what?

His son Heinrich is here in Rio.

I seem to remember he lives in a favela.

He was involved in hippie sects.

- What? - Hippie sects.

Good God.

Sex with horses...

What next?

Hippie sects.

Because hippic sex...

Hold on.

I may have a picture.

This is Heinrich Von Zimmel.

That hair!

Why look like a girl?

Unusual.

What do they want?

It's a form of protest.

To change the world.

Change the world?

What a strange idea.

The world's fine. Why change it?

They want to make love, not war.

But both are possible.

I've always done both. So far, no complaints!

Good old Hubert!

You too!

Come on...

No sense of humor!

Everyone talks about Jewish humor. It's not too funny!

No, it's not too funny.

Really?

How can it be humor then?

You pull it off.

In your own way.

Indeed.

This city is stunning.

And I know cities.

How do they manage to keep their shoes clean?

They don't have shoes.

Good one! No shoes!

Not bad!

Life here isn't easy for everyone.

As in most dictatorships.

Dictatorships! Listen to you!

You're sweet, but spare me your politics.

You know what a dictatorship is?

People are communists.

They're cold, with gray hats and boots with zippers.

That's a dictatorship.

What do you call a country with a military leader,

secret police, one TV station and censorship?

I call that France, Miss.

Not any France: De Gaulle's France.

I think it's here.

Where is Heinrich Von Zimmel?

I'll ask again. Where is Von Zimmel?

And put that transistor down.

Stupid kid!

Allow me.

The hippies left.

They're on a beach nearby.

Okay, let's go.

Goodbye.

So long, kids.

I saw you talking to that girl.

Know what I thought?

You're made to have children.

This dangerous job is not for you. You need a home.

Kids that you can shower with love.

It's a compliment I rarely give but...

you're a natural-born mother.

Can I ask something?

Of course.

Would you say this to a man?

You know, men are rarely...

mothers.

Heinrich Von Zimmel.

Here's my plan. Simple and efficient.

See that rock?

Bring the kid there.

Use your feminine wiles if necessary.

Don't worry, it'll be fine.

We're reporters. We want your father. Where is he?

- This wasn't my plan. - No, it's mine.

Tell me or I'll blow your brains out.

I have no idea!

- Not good enough! - For me neither!

I want to help, I promise!

I can find his former partner. We'll go to him in Brasilia.

I'll help you arrest him.

I hate my father. He's a Nazi.

He's a bastard.

I'm ashamed.

Don't badmouth your father! Shame on you!

Who brought you up?

I never badmouthed my father!

He was a wheelwright. And we toed the line.

Mother never complained. Neither did we!

His father was a Nazi.

Maybe. But it was his father all the same.

Tell me... Your father was a wheelwright?

No, a diplomat.

I used psychological torture.

But he'd already talked.

Yes...

but it's that systematic denigration.

The parents, the family, then it's...

the flag, the nation.

But his father was SS!

A Nazi.

Not the same thing. Not all Nazis were SS.

Don't generalize.

You can eat here.

- Yes! - No thanks.

We have to go.

As you wish.

Why not split up?

So you can keep an eye on him.

- Is that better? - Maybe.

Are you trying to ditch me?

Not at all.

I'm kidding, Dolores. Why would you?

- Do you do quiche? - What?

Quiche Lorraine.

What is it?

- LSD. - Excellent.

I closed the shutter. With 200 ASA, this light...

is fine.

Change the world!

You're nice but... everyone has to wake up.

The world won't wait. The world is moving.

Moving fast. You'll be left high and dry.

What happens after summer vacation?

We're not on vacation.

Okay, fair enough.

You're on sabbatical.

What about next year?

Thought about that?

The world won't bend to you.

This isn't 1968, Year of Youth!

That's not how it works.

It's the real world out there. The real world gets hair cuts.

Guitars and troubadours are dead and gone.

I have my own.

What was I saying?

Dead troubadours.

That's right.

What about them?

I can't remember.

Don't say that. You disappoint me.

I had to be saying something...

I like what's happening.

But understand... it's our secret and ours alone.

No one has to know any of this.

Out of context, a finger up the butt...

Let's clear this up.

People can get the wrong idea.

They start imagining things...

Strange.

Unusual route.

How did it go last night?

Excellent. I spent a very relaxing evening.

We ate. I took some RSVP and slept like a baby.

Lovely.

Those hippies are actually nice.

Once you get past their hygiene.

What can I say?

It's youth...

Sooner or later, reality will cut their hair.

Dolores, I've been meaning...

Freeze!

You kill brother at Gsta.

Now die.

What does he want?

How should I know?

This plane is now your coffin, OSS 117!

Locked.

And with a key.

Compliments of Mr. Lee!

Got a broach or a knitting needle?

How about a key?

A safety pin?

- Bra buckle? - I'm bra-less.

I have a hairpin!

Hurry, Hubert!

Why don't you have one?

- One what? - A bra.

- Because. - Why?

It's my body and this isn't the moment!

Why look like a man?

Unusual.

Open!

How's it going?

Fine. We're losing altitude,

aiming for the trees, and no landing gear.

So what's fine?

Well, I'm here.

My God!

Thank you.

Almost there?

Hurry, it's on fire! It's going to blow!

Thanks, Noël.

- No problem. - Good work.

I'm intrigued by that Chinaman.

He can't work for Von Zimmel.

He might...

Which Chinese worked with the Nazis?

The Japanese?

The Japanese, exactly. My mistake.

I had a vague theory.

Chinamen from China don't fit into it.

I wanted to thank you again.

I'm proud to team up with you.

I understand.

By the way, I meant to say...

I know how much you admire me, my career,

my life, my profession, my crusade against barbarism.

Alas, it has a price.

Dolores, I'll be brutally honest.

If ever anything happens between us...

I can't commit to women.

My love affairs aren't long-term. They're...

short, compact, passionate.

It's my modus operandi.

Some people have adventures.

I am an adventure.

I just had to tell you.

It's very kind of you.

Thanks, Hubert.

You're welcome.

You're very kind.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

- You don't like men. - Yes, why?

You rebuffed me as if...

Drop it, Hubert.

Because I'm not Jewish?

- Why do you say that? - Your religion is so...

So what?

It's a religion that forbids sausages.

And?

And nothing.

Let's pretend that's normal.

No sausages, no alcohol, veiled women.

Sorry it's sort of...

Sort of?

Sort of "Simon says, no sausages!" Isn't it?

No, it isn't.

- You're confusing Jews and Muslims. - Don't nitpick, Dolores.

Between us, that's what annoys people.

The attitude "I'm a Jew, I know everything."

Sorry if I upset you but I won't apologize.

Your theories on Jews, blacks and women

would be best kept to yourself.

You're the one who's upset.

- Can we cross it? - Negative.

It's a crocodile river.

Too far to swim.

We have to cross it.

Yes, but for the moment we're stuck.

We can't cross it yet.

Since we can't avoid the crocodiles, we'll set up camp.

Any objections?

None.

It's pretty here.

We'll spend the night.

This is what we'll do.

I'll hunt.

Heinrich, I'd appreciate if you cut wood.

Dolores, be nice. Set us up a table.

Something cute.

What now?

I'm taking a dip. To wash.

He'll get tons of germs, that's all.

See, Noël? Maybe this is what it means...

Change the world!

Watch out!

Thanks, I'll never forget it.

My pleasure!

- Now we're friends forever. - Deal!

Next time you change the world, watch out for crocodiles.

Ask whatever you want of me.

Start by wearing underwear.

Who's laughing now?

Here, Dolores. Make us dinner.

What should I do? It weighs a ton.

I don't know. Just something simple.

No one's judging.

Judging what?

I won't cook or set a table. You judge women by their food?

Listen, little lady.

I did my job.

I saved your lives.

I just killed a crocodile.

Want to be equals? Start working.

You can at least make dinner.

She's right. We won't eat that.

She's right?

No need for drama.

Your world sure is changing fast.

I'll get dinner.

I saw some berries up there.

I'll join you!

It figures.

You don't want any fruit? It's very good.

No thanks. I need my vitamins.

That's silly.

Of course.

I'm the silly one.

This thing doesn't cook.

Why doesn't it cook?

- Is it cooking? - Slowly.

Crocodile skin is slow to roast. No big deal.

What do you want?

I want to make peace.

We're very tired.

We should stick together.

Why not ask Heinrich?

You're so close. He'd love to stick to you.

Why are you like this?

Maybe I just dislike seeing an Israeli colonel

flirting with a Nazi's son.

Sorry, I have morals.

Pathetic!

Very funny! Bravo!

Brasilia! We're finally here!

Thank God we crossed that river!

Good thing you can build pedal boats!

I said I'm sorry for the duck head.

It would have taken a lot longer.

It would not have!

The boat's the hard part, not the duck.

The duck's a beak and a head. Forget about it.

Now we need to find a hotel.

Consider it done.

I spoke to Father's partner. He's throwing a party.

But it's a costume ball.

That is a problem.

Unless we wear costumes. Might be fun.

Very.

- But we're here to work. - Of course.

Time to get to work.

Let's meet in half an hour. In costume.

Don't worry about the drinks. My treat.

How did you do that?

I sew.

By the way, here.

For you.

I want a truce. Our countries are allies.

- Let's try harder. - You're right.

A present.

From "Noël".

A pun on "Christmas present".

Concerning my name.

I'd understood.

Otherwise...

I have the balls.

- Christmas balls? - Yes!

Come on, it's funny.

Enough.

I have to tell Armand.

I just thought of it.

I remembered my name was Noël and it popped out.

Christmas balls!

I think I showed her my package!

I said to myself: "That's for Armand!"

I have to go. I see a Nazi.

It's Heinrich. My friend.

I'll call you back.

It's not too...?

No, it's fine. Just fine.

It's all they had left at the rental place.

Okay, it's a rental. It figures.

Now I get it.

I added this.

A peace symbol.

You see? Still our little Heinrich.

No reason to sulk.

It's just a Nazi costume.

It's because she's Jewish.

Here we are.

I smell a trap.

Not so sure. Don't be paranoid.

- Maybe they had the same idea. - Probably.

Or they rented from the same place as Heinrich.

Possible... but hard to believe.

I'll find Father's partner.

Dolores, I owe you an apology.

You may be right. This could be a trap.

No kidding.

Come... Let's try to blend in.

Got an escape plan?

I'm working on it.

Will you have it soon?

Look! It's Professor Von Zimmel!

We're still unnoticed.

Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to interrupt the music,

but we have a special guest.

Let's greet him as he deserves.

Please give a warm hand to Mr. Noël Flantier.

At least I'm still undercover.

Mr. Noël Flantier, also known as

OSS 117!

Heinrich!

Heinrich is finished.

I'm Friedrich!

I'll be damned! Heinrich?

A hairpiech?

You see, there's one thing I didn't lie about.

My desire to change the world!

What do you want, Von Zimmel?

What's this all about?

The Fourth Reich?

The Fourth Reich is a dream doomed to failure.

Everyone tried it. It never worked. I'm moving on.

I've decided to lay the foundation of a real

new world.

A world more unfair,

a world more intolerant,

more unfriendly,

where there will always be war,

always disease.

This world,

my world,

is the Fifth Reich!

Utopists!

Hold this.

My friends!

I understand your anger.

I understand your hatred.

But for God's sake,

don't give into cynicism.

Beware of hasty solutions.

Of course,

I see what you like about Nazism.

Besides, who's to judge?

Sometimes even I get angry.

But are there no other solutions?

Did the children you once were dream of this world?

These children still exist.

I'm speaking to them.

Let me ask them a question.

A simple question.

What if the 5th Reich were the Reich...

of Love?

Instead of inspiring these Nazis I got taunts and jibes.

Enough!

I'll tend to you later. Put them in my office.

You're hurting me!

What the hell?

Don't worry. I blundered before, but I'll save us.

Delightful.

Hitler! I hate that guy!

I found my idea.

I'd say we have half an hour. Plenty of time.

Already?

I was too impatient to see you.

A waste of time! I won't speak!

Not a problem. I haven't asked anything.

You give me a feeling of déjà-vu. Your tired recipes,

secret offices, swastikas, Nazi caverns. It's all so banal.

Of course.

You, on the other hand,

are a reporter.

Are you writing a nice story?

You're teasing me.

Taking nice pictures?

Mr. Noël Flantier!

Nazi humor. Pathetic.

The joke's over, OSS 117!

Turn around!

Welcome to my laboratory!

Zantrax, Blue Devil,

undress him and tie him up!

Why me?

My costume! Fascist dogs, you'll pay for this!

Carlotta!

So that's something more comfy? Those rags of hate and chaos!

I am not Carlotta. I'm Fraulein Freida.

For me you'll always be Carlotta.

For me you'll always be Noël Flantier.

No more games!

Enough boasting, Mr. de la Bath.

Now we'll see what you're really made of.

You won't be the first.

No, I'm talking literally about what you're made of.

What are you doing?

I'm opening my safe.

Years ago, I sewed into your chest two microfilms.

One, a list of French collaborators.

The other, more important:

a list of Swiss bank accounts containing fabulous war treasures.

Why don't I remember?

Thanks to this.

A potion that erases short-term memory.

My God!

I remember!

What are you doing?

I'm opening my safe.

I'm sewing into your chest two microfilms.

One, a list of French collaborators.

The other,

a list of Swiss bank accounts containing fabulous war treasures!

Why won't I remember?

Thanks to this!

A potion that erases all short-term memory.

Intact.

Thank you, OSS 117.

Now you see why it had to be you who came here.

All that best agent stuff was hogwash. But you knew it.

Goodbye, OSS 117.

Kill them.

Untie him!

I paid you'd say. Said you'd pay.

Whatever.

Good going, Dolores. Get the microfilm.

It's not me.

Who then?

I saw. I know. But I won't say.

Friedrich...

My schon.

Why?

Kill them!

Let's go.

Careful, Hubert!

Go on, be more aggressive!

Go on!

Look.

No hair.

Hair we go again!

Your bow and arrows.

You're right. Let's go, Dolores!

This round's not over yet.

Shoot, Hubert.

I don't understand...

Of course! It's a kiddie toy!

Hurry, they're getting away!

Right! Let's tail them!

There they are!

You drive like a man!

We need Von Zimmel. We can't fail.

That was a compliment.

Israel must judge ex-Nazis.

Of course.

It's our responsibility. We're a modern democracy.

You bet!

You surprise me.

You're dogged, brave. You never crack.

Never chicken out.

You're fearless, beautiful, elegant.

It's simple: you're my female alter-ego.

I like you.

A lot.

Know what I want?

I don't get it.

You turn me off.

And I don't get it!

Explain yourself.

I'm a remedy against barbarism, a symbol of...

You're old. Pretentious.

A misogynist.

Full of yourself, vain, borderline racist.

Tacky dresser, childish, not funny. Shall I stop?

A tacky dresser?

It's hot in here.

I like it when you smile.

You have a very sweet smile.

You must have heard it before.

Look, they pulled over.

No more gas. How typical.

The problem with Mercedes.

Follow her.

I'll get him.

Remember. We need him alive.

Count on me.

Where am I?

Von Zim...

Stop.

Von Zim...

Going up?

Are you okay?

Fine, thanks.

Where are my clothes?

The green leotard? It was torn. We tossed it.

Pity.

Got any spare clothes?

The old gardener has some.

But they may not be your style.

Perfect. Not the latest fashion, but it'll do.

Did the old geezer make a call?

With a bit of luck...

Doodles. They make no sense.

Why not ask him?

He said "8 o'clock at the Corcovado."

- May I? - Of course.

It's urgent.

It's ringing.

It's me, Hubert.

- I was worried sick. - You were anxious?

I thought you died.

How kind. Get Carlotta?

She's behind bars.

Von Zimmel is meeting someone at the Corcovado at 8 o'clock.

Let's meet at Bill's office.

See you. Be careful.

Bill, it's Hubert.

Yes, probably. It's about Dolores.

I need your help.

Von Zimmel, the Corcovado, at 8.

Obviously.

Good! It's all clear.

You've helped France. I'm forever grateful.

By the way, where can I find a car?

The old gardener has one.

But is it your style?

Bill?

Dolores?

You gave me a scare!

What's wrong with you?

Except for the heat.

What is it?

Von Zimmel is scared of the Mossad.

He contacted the CIA in exchange for valuable information.

Clever, Bill.

Why protect an SS?

Americans are against Nazis!

The CIA isn't America, OSS 117.

That hurts!

Freeze or I'll slay her.

Free her. Our countries are allies.

We're allies only when you ask us to liberate you.

Meaning?

I'm sorry.

You liberated yourselves.

Chinaman behind you!

How old are you?

You kill brother in taxi.

Put down your gun, OSS 117!

Carlotta, you can still make amends.

The Nazi hunters and the Chinese will never let up.

I beg of you, think it over.

If you help us,

I'll serve as a mediator with the Prime Minister, Mr. Pompidou.

You'll be pardoned.

An international coalition will be immediately organized...

to create a Nazi country.

Like Israel.

Great to see you.

I prayed you'd come.

Really? You've said two nice things now.

- Are you sure? - The first was on the phone...

- We're in a rush, Hubert. - You're right.

Come on!

Give me a second.

Don't I know you?

Yeah!

We slept together on the beach.

Slept together?

You make it sound like...

And what are you up to now?

I'm eating a candied apple.

Want a bite?

To hell with your forbidden fruit!

Don't worry!

Remember, I need him alive.

Surrender, Von Zimmel! It's over!

Trumendous is dead. Carlotta too. And the Chinaman!

They never met.

Be a man, Von Zimmel. Surrender quietly.

I'd rather die first.

Too bad for you, Dolores. I intend to die.

You killed my son, now my fiancée.

You stole it all. My death belongs to me!

He's going to shoot.

He's bluffing.

I doubt it. He knows what awaits him.

By the way,

in case you haven't noticed,

behind the Nazi...

there's also a man.

A man like any other.

A Nazi...

does he not have eyes?

A Nazi...

does he not have hands?

You're right. I think he's sincere.

He's desperate.

If you prick us,

do we not bleed?

If you tickle us,

do we not laugh?

And if you poison us,

do we not die?

Magnificent.

Beautiful words.

Beautiful and overwhelming.

I'm an old man...

I'm 46. My life is over. You've taken it all.

- I'll go around. - Leave it to me.

Farewell, OSS 117.

That's enough!

For France, turn over the microfilm!

And for Israel, turn yourself in!

What now?

He's going to plunge from Christ's arm!

Not if we stop him from taking the plunge!

And your fear of heights?

Each of us must conquer his fears.

Yours is Nazis.

Mine is trapeze.

Halt, Von Zimmel! Surrender!

Surrender?

Find something more persuasive, old pal.

And try not to get one of your dizzy spells.

You'll have to move forward despite your vertigo...

It was an accident!

A simple trapeze accident!

Farewell... OSS 117.

Let go of me!

Let go!

Not this time!

W il k ommen in Israel, Herr Professor!

Bravo, Hubert.

To the spy and the trapeze artist.

Thanks for saving his life.

It's nothing.

I'm proud to help an Israeli save a Nazi.

I see it as a sign.

Why not hope for reconciliation between Jews and Nazis?

Something about you baffles me.

What?

This.

Happy, Noël.

Hello, boss.

Hello, Hubert. Bravo!

We got the microfilm without even paying.

Hats off!

Thank God you sent me.

- Want to show me a movie? - It's broken. Tough luck.

I want to discuss... something irksome.

It's probably nothing but...

your name was on the list of collaborators.

I heard that.

Trying times...

Trying times...

But what's past is past.

France needs to forget. To move forward.

Yes, no doubt.

Now I feel reassured.

I've thought of you too.

You mean?

The Legion of Honor.

I spoke to the Prime Minister, Mr. Pompidou.

It can happen this week.

Thank you, Armand. I'm speechless.

So don't speak.

You're not vain.

Of course I'm not.

Of course!

Let's get down to business.

You have another mission. To China, no less.

A man named Lee

took 50 French hostages and will negotiate only with you.

One condition.

Deal. What is it?

I pick my own name.

For Mr. Lee, I can grant you some lee-way.

Lee-ve it to me!

Although it's not lee-gal.

Be lee-nient!

I think we've about covered it.

You're right.

Follow the lee-der.

It's very strange.

Unintentionally, I just used Jewish humor.

Really? What's that?

It's when it's not funny and there's no mention of sausages.

Subtitles: Andrew Litvack

Subtitling: Eclair Video - Paris