All language subtitles for Hacks.(2021).S01E10.I.Think.She.Will.1080p.10bit.BluRay.AAC5.1.HEVC-Vyndros

- Good morning, Las Vegas.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Can you hear me okay?
- Yeah, it's very loud.

- Softer.
- Too loud.

Right. Good.

Now, it is my pleasure
to introduce to you

the CEO and Chairman

of the Palmetto Casino
and Resort,

the wickedly handsome
Marty Ghilain.

Thank you, Madame Mayor.

I think I'll just project.

I remember the first time
I saw Deborah Vance perform.

Hey. What happened?

I thought we were all
gonna drive together.

I promised Deborah
I'd stop being

"Little Miss Seatbelt Bitch."

Got me.

You two have been sharing
a schedule for weeks now.

Well, she's being
kinda weird.

Like she's avoiding me.

It might be about
your signature scent.

- Did you switch it up recently?
- What?

Well, last summer, I thought
that she was mad at me,

but it turns out that she just
hates Acqua di Gio, so...

Was one of the best
decisions I ever made.

She helped put Vegas
residencies on the map,

and now we're literally
putting her on the map.

So even though tonight
is her farewell show,

she's not going anywhere.

Mayor?

It is my honor and my duty...

Fuck.

To present to you all
Las Vegas's newest street,

Deborah Vance Drive.

You didn't have to come,
you know.

I know you're mad at me,

but I'll always be
your biggest fan, Deb.

Switch with me.
Give them your good side. C'mon.

Over here, Deb.
Over here.

There you go.
Guys, right here.

I've heard a couple
of you out there complaining

about this 115-degree heat.

I'll tell you what, I love it.

Kayla, it's red... red!

Kayla, you just ran a red.

I'm so annoyed.

I cannot believe I have to
rush to Vegas last minute

to clean up your mess.

I'm sorry. I know.

When we get there, drop me off at Arrivals,
not Departures.

- I cannot miss this flight.
- Drop you off?

I'm on your flight,
babe.

2A and 2B. You prefer
the middle.

Wait...

No, I don't prefer the middle.
And what do you...

I can't sit in the middle.

You're not coming on the trip.

What're you talking about?

I told my dad that it was, like,
my first business trip,

and he was, like,
so proud.

But I can cancel the ticket.
There's, like, no problem.

No, no, no. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.

I feel like I'm
gonna throw up.

Just come. Just come.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Yay!

I made us a Vegas playlist.

Oh, no.
That's my sex playlist.

I can't listen to that
without thinkin' of the deed.

- Kayla, watch the road.
- The big D.

Eyes on the road.
Eyes on the road.

Can you get pulled over
for having too much fun?

- Yeah, I think so.
- Oop!

Sorry, I almost...
I thought we were gonna crash.

Thanks for the ride.

- Well, I wanted to talk to you about something.
- Oh, my God.

You're not serving
me again, are you?

No, no.

Oh.

In the show tonight,

I'm gonna be talking
about you and your father

and some other
difficult things

that I've never talked
about on stage before.

Okay.

And, you know, it might not be
the easiest to hear

or to have out there,
so that's why I'm telling you.

Awesome. Thank you.
Got it.

No, I'm telling you

because if you don't want me
to do this show, I won't.

Right. Yeah.

Kinda like how
it was my choice

to do that Weight Watchers
ad with you?

- Like that?
- No.

I mean it.
I'm asking you, DJ.

Oh. Okay.

Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.

You've always known
the right thing to say.

I mean, on stage,
anyway.

So I'm sure that if
you think you should,

then... then you should.

Great. Okay.

- Then I will.
- Okay.

Did I ever tell you
I get recognized

from that Weight Watchers
ad all the time?

- No.
- Yeah.

A woman in the airport
stopped me

and said that
we inspired her.

- Oh.
- I know. It was so sweet.

I almost didn't tell her
we're just naturally thin.

God.

Thanks for
getting lunch.

Well, that's not
all I got you.

- Bam!
- Oh, God. Toe shoes.

- For our trip.
- Oh, they're horrible.

I love 'em.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So how'd it go asking
for time off?

Easy. Almost too easy.

Deborah's been so focused
on this new show

that everything
I do takes a back seat.

I'm sorry.

I know you don't like
when I just complain about her.

No, I don't mind that
you talk to me about Deborah.

I just... I feel like

I'm not the only
one you should be talking to.

- You should talk to her.
- Oh, no.

I've seen Deborah fire drivers
for stopping at a yellow light.

I'm not about to
go there.

Besides, I wouldn't
even know what to say.

Okay, so let's practice.
Tell me what you'd tell Deborah.

Come on, you know
I hate this therapy stuff.

It's not from therapy.
It's from mental health TikTok.

- That's even worse.
- Okay, come on. Do it.

Okay.

Deborah, I have
prioritized

your life and business ahead
of my own.

And now you're doing this
whole new thing

that I'm not a part of,
and it doesn't feel like

you even think about
how it affects me.

I'm starting to feel like
I'm putting my life on hold

for someone who isn't
fully considering me.

You're so cute.

That will not
be her response.

- It might. I mean...
- It won't.

I was entranced. Mm.

Huh.

- Hey.
- Hey... holy shit.

What're you doing?
Why are you wearing lingerie?

Um, it's not lingerie.
It's regular pajamas.

Okay, why are you
wearing regular pajamas?

So it looks more believable that
we're on our honeymoon.

- What?
- Oh, the hotel thinks we're on our honeymoon.

That's how I got us
this amazing room.

Us? Oh, my God.

I thought you were just using
my bathroom.

You need to get your own room
and you need to do it now.

I guess I can ask the guy
when room service comes.

We are not ordering
room service.

What the fuck
are you talking about?

Uh, yeah, we are.
I ordered us champagne.

Why?

To go with the
chocolate-covered strawberries.

What are you not getting
about this, dude?

Wh-wh... Kayla! Jesus!

You are my employee.

You can't share a room with me, okay?
You're gonna get me in trouble.

Uh, why?

- What're you gonna do?
- Nothing!

- What're you gonna do?
- Oh, I don't know.

Answer the phone.
Take messages.

Think of ideas
for emails. My job!

Okay, first of all,
it's not your job

to think of ideas
for my emails, okay?

- You're a buzzkill.
- All right.

And second of all,
you're gonna do that stuff now?

You haven't been doing
your job for six months.

Shh. Settle down,
horsey.

Why are you so mad?
I did good.

I got us the honeymoon
suite upgrade for free.

You're always telling
me to watch expenses.

I've asked you to
watch your expenses,

like Sugarfish
for breakfast.

In Fiji, they do
eat that for breakfast.

I don't care what
you eat for breakfast.

You can't charge $50 breakfasts
to the company,

but you can charge
two separate rooms. I'm your boss.

Okay, well, my dad owns
half the agency,

so it's not really your
typical boss-employee dynamic.

Yeah, clearly.

What did you mean
by that?

- You getting a vibe?
- No!

- Are you trying to give a vibe?
- No! God!

No. What did you say?
No.

Pervert! Ugh!

Great. Trip ruined.

- Kayla. Kayla.
- Awkward.

Kayla... Oh, God.

Kayla, are you upset?

No, I'm going potty.
What're you doing, Mr. Curious?

I'm-I'm writing
an email to HR.

- "Dear Barbara"...
- No, wait, not Barbara.

Yes, Barbara.

"Kayla did it again."

Hey, Mom.

Wait, what? What's going on?

Yeah, I'm sitting down.

Hey.

I'm really sorry,
but I think I gotta miss tonight.

My-my dad had another stroke
and I need to go home.

- You're leaving.
- I know. I'm-I'm really sorry.

Well, good luck.

Thanks?

Look, I said I'm sorry, you know?
I really wish I didn't have to go.

Okay.

Well, I got
you this.

You can leave
it there.

Break a leg.

Will do.

I'm sorry. We're
completely booked.

Everyone is 'cause
of the fight.

All right, can we
at least get a cot?

Oof, with your back?

I meant for you.

What?

Kayla, can you figure this out,
please?

- I gotta handle something.
- On it.

Okay, cancel the cot.

Ava?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hi. Sorry.
- What's going on?

I'm actually in a rush
to get to the airport.

Whoa, whoa, you haven't
returned my calls,

and I just got a
text from Deborah.

She's not doing
the new show anymore?

- Wait, what?
- Yeah, this is really bad, okay?

I used all my connections
to get people here.

Plus, I'm in the middle
of a "Me Too" situation

with Kayla,
and I'm the me, Ava.

Why the fuck
isn't she doing it?

I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Hold on, Ava.

Can you at least tell me
what's happening?

No dice, dude. Sorry.

What's wrong with you?

You're backing out
of the new show?

Why do you even care?

Because we worked
really hard on it.

- Of course I care.
- Do you?

I know you ran back to LA
for a job interview.

And now, it sounds
like you might have a follow-up?

That's why you've
been acting weird?

Okay, yeah. I did go.
But I didn't take the job.

And now you think
I'm lying about my dad?

Is that what you
think of me?

I don't really think
about you.

Yeah, right, lady.

You do think about me.
And I think about you.

It's called a
human relationship.

And sorry,
but we have one.

Our relationship is that
I sign your paychecks.

Paychecks? Oh, my God.

First of all,
it's direct deposit.

And also, this is
why I had to lie to you

about leaving
for that job interview.

Because your ego doesn't allow you to take
in information like a normal human being.

No one's allowed to
communicate honestly with you.

And if they do, you either shut
them out or push them away

or, I-I don't know,
hit them with your car.

- Almost hit them with my car!
- Not a great defense.

Fine. Whatever.
I fucked up. I'm really sorry.

But please, don't throw away everything
we worked so hard on

just because
you're mad at me.

This isn't about you.

I just don't want to do it.
I know what works.

The old stuff works,
so that's what I'm doing.

The stuff we've
worked on is good.

And it's important
that you do it!

You don't get to tell me
what's important!

You're risking nothing here.
This is just a blip.

You can get on
a plane tomorrow.

This is just gonna
be a funny story

about a job you
once had.

This is my life!

I don't need to do
a whole show dwelling on the past!

I move forward. Always have.
End of discussion.

What a giant waste
of time this all was.

Oh, I agree.

And my time is a lot
more valuable than yours.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

What great opportunity
did I keep you from?

Does KFC want you
to be the new Colonel Sanders?

Oh, and that just wouldn't be cool,
would it?

God, I'm so sick
of your pretentious bullshit.

What have you
even done?

What I've done has
gotten all those people in those seats.

What you've done has
gotten you booted out of LA,

and now you're
getting booted from here.

Get the hell out
of my dressing room.

No. You're just
scared to do the hard thing,

so you're jumping
at the first possible chance to bail.

You're gonna do the same
old tired shit you always do

because I was right
the day I met you.

You are a fucking hack.

Hello, my superstars.
Who's ready to be funny?

Who slaps people?

Well... I quit, obviously.

Uh, we're gonna
give you a minute.

Kayla, let's go.

I'll trade you a Xanny
for a cigarette.

You got it.

It's Kayla.
Leave a message at the beep, babe.

Beep.

Kidding.

Hey, Kayla.

Can you send me the emails
of those British writers?

I know they're not
gonna hire me,

but I have some stories
about Deborah

they might want to use.

You're a lucky man.
You're a lucky man to have her.

Oh, no, no, no.
She's my assistant.

- Your sister?
- My assistant.

He wishes I
was his sister.

Messy!

- Okay.
- Can you go get me a drink?

Absolutely. Love to.

Excuse me.

Uh, Deborah, can I talk to you
for a second?

- Um, sure, of course. Excuse us.
- Okay, thank you.

I know this isn't the
best time to do this,

but I'm worried if I don't say it now,
I'll never say it.

I realize that I've
prioritized your business...

And I have completely
taken that for granted.

And I'm sorry.
You were right.

You've been right
the whole time, Marcus.

I was wrong to cancel meetings
with you the last few weeks.

It's just been stupid and...
I want to take my business

to the next level,
and I want to do it with you.

That's... what I
want too, exactly.

Good. Good.

And I want to make you CEO,
effective immediately,

with a 10% raise.

Okay. Um...

- Great. Thank you.
- No, please.

Please don't thank me.
You deserve this.

So did you decide
on the shoes?

Oh, the shoes, yes.
Marcus, help me here.

Do I wear the lower heel,
which I know I can walk in,

or do I go with
the fabulous stilettos?

- Aren't they gorgeous?
- Beautiful.

I think the low heel.
The pain's not worth it.

Hmm. Okay, thanks.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You look great.
- You too.

So I have some good news.

Deborah gave me a promotion,
and I am now the CEO.

That's awesome.

But wait, I thought
you were already CEO.

- I was COO.
- Oh, well, congrats.

- I'm glad you got your E.
- Thank you.

And based on what
I know about capitalism,

I think now you don't have
to worry about paying taxes.

And I actually
didn't even have to go

into my whole spiel.
She just did it.

Wait, so you didn't
actually talk to her?

No, I didn't have to.

If this is about Zion,
we can still go.

- We can still go?
- Yeah.

We're going.
The plan is to go.

Yes, of course.

It's just, I have
this new role,

so I'm gonna have to do
at least a little bit of work,

just to stay on top of things
for the next couple weeks.

The point of the trip
is to not work.

If you want to go
when I have less work,

then we can go
in the summer.

Look, I really like
you, but...

But what?

If you think I'm not ready
for a relationship,

- because I'm...
- No. No, that's not it.

'Cause you're already
in a relationship.

- With Deborah.
- No.

Let's go outside
and then talk.

Whatever you want,
I am in.

- Hey, Deborah's about to do her toast.
- Shit.

Okay, I do have to go backstage.

But come with me,
all right?

We can have some
champagne. We can sit.

No. I'm gonna go.

Wilson, I...

Thank you, every single
one of you,

so, so much
for coming tonight.

And please,
when you're out there,

when in doubt, laugh.

And I beg you,

don't let the standing ovation
go longer than five minutes.

But not less than four,
'cause that's Celine's record.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go say my prayers,

- so I'll see you out there. Cheers.
- Cheers.

Whoo!

Um, Deborah?

- Jimmy?
- I just wanted to say,

when my father passed,

you didn't need to stick with me,
but you did.

Bitch, you got this, bitch!

I believe in you, girlie.

Mmm.

- Get her out of here.
- Okay, let's go.

- Break a leg.
- Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen,
for the very last time

at the Palmetto Theatre,
please welcome to the stage

the one, the only,
Deborah Vance!

I love you. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Las Vegas.
I love you!

You're gonna make me cry.

You're gonna make me cry.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.

It is wonderful
to be at the Palmetto

one last time.

Aww.

I know. I know.

Wow.

I have been up here
on this stage

through so much
over the years.

When the Berlin Wall came
down, I was on this stage.

When people were hiding
in their bomb shelters on Y2K,

I was on this stage.

When Bernie Madoff
got arrested,

I was on the phone
with my accountant

crying hysterically.

And on every one
of those nights,

I told a lot
of the same jokes.

But tonight, I'm not gonna
tell you those same ones.

Instead...

I'm gonna tell you why...

I told those jokes.

- Hi, Mom.
- Oh.

I'm so sorry. I can't
believe I missed him.

Oh, honey.

Ugh, I'm sorry.
I can't hang up right now.

I've been on hold
for 40 minutes.

Um, was your
flight okay?

- Yeah, it was fine.
- Hello? Hello?

No, look, I just...
I can't. I can't do this right now.

- Can you do this?
- Yeah.

- Hello?
- No one's there.

No one's there right now,
but when they get on,

tell them that you need to cancel
the baseball channels

for the account
of Dennis Daniels.

And the reason
for the cancellation

is that he's deceased.

Mom, please, the
baseball channel?

Can... it's so late.
Can we please do this tomorrow?

Tomorrow we have
to call the cousins.

Ugh.

Ava? Oh, good.

- You're awake so early.
- Yeah, I do that now.

I gotta be up before
Kelly Ripa's day is done.

Um, when did you get a cat?

You were here when we
got Mr. Cream Pie.

No, I wasn't.
First of all,

I'm allergic to cats,
and also, if I was here,

I wouldn't have let
you name him that.

- You named him. I remember.
- Oh, no.

- Oh, no, I didn't.
- I said, what do we think?

And you didn't know,
is he male, female?

I said he's male.
You said Mr. Cream Pie.

Yeah, Ma, none of that happened.
Yeah, literally none of it.

Okay. Anyway, look, I...
do you like this image that I... I chose that

for your father's
prayer ca-card.

Yeah. Yeah, it's nice.

"He is survived
by his loving wife Nina

"and his daughter Ava Daniels
of Las Vegas, Nevada"?

Mom, I don't live
in Las Vegas.

Well, last I heard,
yes, you do,

unless you moved again
without telling me.

No, no. I just went
there for a job.

And it ended up
really not working out.

- So I'm not going back.
- Oh, God.

- Mom, are you freaking out?
- Yeah, a little.

'Cause it's just...
you know,

you've chosen such
an unstable career,

and no mother wants
to watch her child suffer.

And now we'll have
to euthanize the cat.

- What?
- Yes!

We have to euthanize
Mr. Cream Pie

because he's going
to have to leave this room

when you move in,
and it is just wrong

to take a cat back to the shelter, Ava.
It's just wrong.

No, I'm not
moving back in.

Can we... Forget it.

Let's just focus
on the arrangements, please.

- Please.
- All right.

For the service,
you're reading Lamentations.

Oh.

Well, I wanted
to read a eulogy.

I just started
working on it.

A eulogy? Ava, please.

It's your father's
funeral.

I don't need you
saying anything crazy,

like when you told
your grandmother

that you were pro-choice.

But I am pro-choice.

Yeah, but you don't
need to say it.

Please, just stick
to the reading.

Okay, I just... I think
it would be more personal

to read something
that I've written,

not, like, just some
stock Bible passage.

Okay, so now you're a better
writer than God.

- I get it.
- Yeah, Mom.

Well, God didn't
write Lamentations,

and also,
he doesn't exist.

Ah! Not now!

Ava, I know that
you think

that everybody needs
to hear from you,

but it's just... it's just...
it's your father's funeral.

Today has to be
about your dad.

You know what? You're right.
You're right.

No one does want
to hear from me

or read what I've written
or say it on stage,

so I'm just gonna
stop trying.

- I'll do whatever you want.
- Okay, great.

Do you want some coffee?

I made some.
Anniversary blend?

- Yeah, all right.
- Okay, great.

Thank you for coming.

Before we
move to the mass

at St. Elizabeth's,
we'd like to invite anyone

who'd like to say a few words
about Dennis to do so now.

Is there anyone
that would like to stand up?

Say a few words?

Oh, God. This is so awkward.

This is painful.
Excuse me.

This is not how you're
supposed to do this.

Excuse me. Sorry.
If-if you wouldn't mind.

Just... um, yeah, see,
you can't just ask people

to come up impromptu
and not warmed up.

Because it's just too hard
to do cold, you know.

There's just
too much pressure.

And these people
are exhausted.

It's exhausting
to lose a loved one.

And now everybody's uncomfortable
because they think that no one has

anything nice to say
about this man.

And I know that you do.

Not because I knew him.
I didn't.

But I know his daughter.

And I know that he had to be
a very special person

to raise someone like her.

So let's try this again.

Uh, you, sir.
How did you know Dennis?

- Uh, he was my cousin.
- Oh, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

So what was the drunkest
you ever saw him?

Oh. Wow.

Well, you know,
when he had so many screwdrivers

the night before
my wedding,

he went back to my room
and threw up in my dress shoes.

He did!

My, God.
I'd forgotten about that.

He'd already have
been dead at my house.

I didn't know about it.
Because he felt so bad,

he switched out
his shoes for mine.

I only realized it
when I got to the altar,

and I looked down
and he's wearing flip flops.

Oh, my God,
it was a blizzard

and he was just
in these little...

Oh, my God.
Hey, excuse me, Miss, you.

Did Dennis ever get you
into any kind of trouble?

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, boy, here we go.

Oh, it involved
an ice cream truck

and a hot wire,
and that's as far as I will go.

Oh, my God, Wendy.

Oh, I love you.
Thank you for coming.

Thank you.

I mean, it's Wendy, right?

Hey, shoes off.

- Really?
- No, I'm just kidding.

It smells like cat
shit in here.

Uh, by the way, this...

positively
extra-terrestrial.

Yeah, you were right
about that.

I've had gigantic
hands my entire life.

Yesterday, I went
into the garage

and I found a basketball,
and yeah,

I can absolutely
palm it.

Sorry, I've been
running around.

Oh.

A lot of people to talk to.
Mm-hmm.

Especially my Uncle Mitch, who really
doesn't want me to do 23andMe,

so now I'm pretty much convinced
he's a serial killer.

Yeah, one in every family.

How're you doin'?

Honestly?

Weirdly fine.

Or, like, numb?

I don't know.
I haven't even cried yet.

When does it,
like, hit you?

Never all at once.

It's just kind of
a bunch of tiny ways.

You know, like,
over and over, just...

Well, that's
how it was for me.

I've mostly just been
busy making sure my mom's head

doesn't fly fully
off of her body.

- Mm.
- Thanks for making her laugh.

Sure.

Being back in this house
is just making me remember

that I always felt

really, really
lonely here.

I think that's why I started
doing comedy in the first place.

Because it was just a way
for me to feel connected

to people who thought
about things the way I did.

But now I'm just like,

maybe I shouldn't shape
my entire existence

around a response
to a shitty childhood.

That's not a very good
reason to pursue a career.

I don't know
if that's true.

I mean, what's a good reason
to pursue any career?

Your grandfather owned
a cement truck,

and your name's already
on the side of it?

Yeah, there's that.

I'm not sure.

But I gotta figure
something else out.

'Cause... I'm done.

Well, no.

You can't quit.

You're too good.

I'm sorry.

You know, crying...

gives you wrinkles.

You need to learn how to cry
without moving your forehead at all.

It's like...

- That's how you cry?
- Yeah, I trained myself.

I'm a pro.

You are.

Plus, you know,
a little injection

here and here
doesn't hurt either.

Oh, shit. The show.

How did it go?

Well, I did
the new material.

And?

I bombed.

You're joking.

Well, a few things
worked, but...

Yeah, I mostly bombed.

Oh, no.

Did you come all the way here
to bury me with my dad?

No. No, I-I bombed.

And I loved it.

I haven't felt
that way in years.

The show didn't work,
but it will.

The pieces are there.

I just have to figure out
how to put them together.

And the best way to do that
is to work it out on the road.

So you're gonna
go on tour again.

Yes.

With you. I hope.

I mean, the show was
your idea, after all.

And you, like,
can't do it without me?

Oh, I could absolutely
do it without you.

But, you know,
it would probably be,

you know,
a lot less fun.

Okay, but you really
can't hit people.

I know. I-I'm so sorry.

So are you ever gonna
do that again?

- No.
- And are you gonna switch

to a health plan
that covers dental?

No.

Deal.

I'm kidding. I'm joking.

Just doing some
last minute approval

of the "Best Of" compilation.

Ah.

You okay?

Yeah, everything's great.

I'm CEO now.

Mm-hmm.

Do you have on
toe shoes?

Yeah.

They're ugly, honey.

Yeah, I know.

Hi. I only have a second.

I'm on my way back to Vegas
with Deborah.

Well,
that's interesting,

because you know those British writers
that Kayla had you meet with?

I just got a call
from their agent

about a very intense
and revealing email

you apparently sent
about Deborah.

What the fuck
did you do, Ava?

- We're cleared for takeoff.
- Thank you.

Uh, Jimmy, I gotta
call you back.

Yeah, you'd better.

River running free

You know how I feel

Buckle up.
Here we go.

You know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun

You know what I mean
Don't you know?

Butterflies all having fun

You know what I mean

Sleep in peace
When day is done

That's what I mean

And this old world
Is a new world

And a bold world

For me

Yeah, yeah

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel

Scent of the pine
You know how I feel

Oh, freedom is mine

And I know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

Oh, I'm feeling good