Original subtitles

You're editor said you were hanging by a thread.

It's the kind of gift you give when you earn out.

Not before you start.

Female riders generally don't do the same sort of work I do.

So I found myself quite perplexed with this request.

But then, of course, I figured out how I could help you.

Great.

I'm the only thing I could have done additionally to fortify

my neighbor's wife would have been to fuck them in, too.

Uh-huh.

I could have, but I didn't want to.

Uh-huh.

So you're not participating in the research? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Not really.

I'm a journalist.

And I'm not.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

What?

You keep using this word.

What are you afraid... What your parents will think?

No.

No, my parents are dead.

So write about it.

Real letters don't give a fuck about anything but the work.

The work supersedes all.

Are you working hard enough?

I... I publish your just through to 100,000 words into the trash, so I think I am.

Of course, shit.

Call me when you're the one throwing 200,000 words in the trash.

How young were you when they died?

Are they 20s?

Oh, you're an adult.

I was expecting you to say something tragic like nine.

So you have grief, you have trauma.

That's good.

I can't write about my parents.

It has to be about sex and specifically sex in America.

Exactly.

And that's why we're here.

So I'll tell you what you're going to do.

You're going to go out there and fuck married men.

You'll keep alive.

Why do they cheat?

And what point do they cheat?

Does it matter if their wives are ugly or old or they just refuse to fuck?

Where have you been in America?

Um, San Francisco, Los Angeles.

Please, New York, the West Coast, that's not America.

You need to get out of the city.

You need to get out in the country and meet people, real people, not New Yorkers.

You need to fuck people.

A lot of people marry people.

Married people hold the key to sex in America.

Yes.

Can you believe that actually happened?

My idol told me to fuck married men.

Well, I managed to finish the book without fucking anyone married.

But as wrong as gay was about who holds the key to sex in America,

he was right about one thing that I was looking in the wrong places.

So I started thinking about my dead parents.

My dad being flung from his Chevy at 65 miles an hour.

My mother being stuck dry from cancer.

I'm like anyone who's alone because of cars

and cancer and doesn't know what they're doing.

I drove across the country and back, and then back again.

And in driving, I found what I didn't know I was looking for.

Lena, a housewife in rural Indiana who's husband

no longer wanted to kiss her on the mouth, who refused, in fact, to touch her at all.

Sloan, the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen up close,

who lived on an island and had a secret it would take me many months to learn.

And Maggie, a girl whose first real experience

of love was with her married English teacher.

So it was simple for me to answer the question when people wanted to know why.

Why this person and not that one? Why her and not me?

Why these three women?

Because these three were unheard in all the lonely ways.

And more than I wanted to tell their stories, I wanted to hear them myself.

Because unlike so many others I spoke to over the course of eight years,

Lena, Sloan, and Maggie were not people who wanted to be watched.

They were women who needed to be seen.

Some parts of the country still don't want to see women at all.

Which is why Lena became so important to me.

Her outsized desire and how she had to hide it away from the rest of the world.

Which was hard for her because Lena still moves like a teenager.

Nervous, guarded, excitable.

She spends hours crafting each movement and approaching her own husband.

All Lena has ever wanted is to be fully in love and forever partnered.

Like a penguin.

There are two kinds of 15-year-old girls.

Lena always knew she belonged to the type that

did more sticker collecting than French kissing.

But kissing a boy, someone who wanted to kiss

her back, was the only thing she ever wanted.

And it's still the thing she wants most in the whole world.

There are duties, the things that we must fulfill as husband and wife.

Lena, you want to add to kiss you.

To be more affectionate as such.

Exactly, and I just don't think that that's too much to ask.

You know, we talk about things that are annoying about marriage.

There's also plenty that just hang on in a moment, darling.

And I understand this is just difficult for you.

I just don't like the way it feels.

How is that? I don't know.

Something, something.

I don't know.

Well, I don't like the feeling of where war feels yucky.

It gives me the heavy geebies.

Yeah, I like that.

And so likewise, Lena doesn't like your itchy cold splanker.

Fair enough.

Now, can you commit to fold it up, save it for game day? Yeah.

See, now, Lena, the yucky way you feel when you

rub up against that, it's your cold splanker.

You need to understand that kissing you in

the mouth that makes the head feel just like that.

Now, he's willing to let go of the blanket for you see.

You need to let go of the kissing for him.

Right.

Did you know that some people just buy stuff?

They don't look at their accounts or plan every single thing?

He used to release the Easter bunny.

It's not for six for 10 months.

This is from last year.

Just buy it when they need it.

Some people or want something.

There hasn't been so valid them for it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Lena wants to ask me.

Do you know how some men are men even when they're boys?

Like they're men.

They hold doors open and they don't hurt you.

And they smell so good.

They're hair and their eyes.

And they look at you like you're beautiful.

And Eden.

Oh, he had this special nickname for her that just lit her whole world up.

I did.

Say yourself.

I'll be mad.

Ma'am.

What?

No.

No one.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Lena Parrish.

Oh, my God.

Stop.

Hey.

No, no.

Four fucking kids.

What the heck with the gloves?

It's not that cold out here.

Well, I got paid in my joints and the docs can't say what's causing it.

Well, that's one of them said that it might all be in my head.

So it hurts us when I keep them warm.

You got to go see Doc Henry.

White, rabbit, body works.

Down on Hendrix.

Doc Henry is a gosh dang miracle worker.

See taking sure and he'll work with you.

Yeah, things are tight.

Tell him I sent you.

Don't give me some coupon.

The only weird thing is he's India.

Like from India.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, not saying it's a big deal.

Never had an Indian touch in my body.

Take some getting used to.

All right.

I better feel four he gets to be in the back bag.

All right.

Sweetheart.

Bye.

So there's two waves that I deal with,

which is sort of a pulsing hum, and then there's a surge

that feels kind of like a cat scratching from the inside.

I do have to say in the last couple days, it's sort of been...

So it's actually happening.

This is an example of the... Oh, wait, it's totally... this is what's happening.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's so funny.

Tell me where the pain is.

What's down below?

Plus, my joints just hurt so bad all the time.

There you go.

Okay.

You got indo lead triosis.

You got five, broke my elder.

Now most doctors aren't here to tell you

that disease don't exist, but I'm educating you.

And it's real, Linda.

And a good number of diseases they derive

some from the brain from decades of heartache.

Life is hard, darling.

It's some of us harder than others.

Does that sound right? Yeah.

Okay.

So tell me.

You want birth control?

Am I in birth control?

No.

Okay.

Yeah.

So we're going to do a regular exam.

And by the way, I do warm my speculate.

Most doctors won't do that.

But we're going to do the regular.

I'm going to give you a low-western.

I'm going to give you a full tear in.

Sounds like Superman's bad guys.

I know only they're not bad guys.

They are good guys.

My girl, I thought she's going to give you some breathing exercises.

You're going to do those at home.

Yeah.

See how all that goes.

You come back here in two weeks.

How's that sound? It's good.

It's good.

Good.

Yeah.

Just the birth control won't that make me gain weight.

Too, what, sweetheart?

Why don't we get all this under control?

Reduce the inflammation?

Then we can start thinking about beach bodies

and drink a penny call out as in the rain.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Back in New York, people ask, what is it about this housewife in Indiana?

I tried to explain it.

I had never met anyone so connected to their desire.

But for someone who wanted to be loved so badly,

there was no worse body to be in than hers.

Not because it wasn't lovely, but because it was always in pain.

And it seems nobody in the world wanted to go near it.

Her husband had not touched her in 45 days.

She kept a calendar and marked the days with a fat red marker.

Straighten your legs out, relax a little bit for me.

Okay.

Okay.

Now, I want you to show me while I pressure to

your diet for him the ones you've been doing.

Like that?

Are you asking me? I know.

I was doing them like that.

Is that okay?

There's no wrong way to do it.

It's a practice just like anything else we put our time into, okay? Okay.

You know what I call a doctor's office of practice?

I never really thought about it.

Because we're supposed to be getting better at this every day.

How am I doing? Good, I guess.

Good.

All right.

You can sit up.

I'm just.

I'm sorry, Laurie.

I'm sorry.

I just can't imagine a man in the world who wouldn't want to kiss you.

I can't.

Oh.

Oh, sweetheart.

Oh, sweetheart.

Yeah.

Hey.

Sorry.

He just makes me... It just makes me feel really ugly.

There you go.

All right.

You know, with women, there comes a day when

you realize you're never going to be a model.

Where was that day for you, Lena? I was 14.

Hmm.

Tell me, sweetheart.

What do you want? What do I.

I mean, I want... I want... I want to drive down a dirt road in an ATV.

But, like, with a man.

I feel like the wind's blowing in my hair and my arms are wrapped around his waist.

And I just want to be with someone who makes me feel hot.

As you should, darling.

Yeah.

All right.

Now that we got the pain under control, I'm going to tell you about my program.

Now, it's for weight loss, sure.

But, it's a whole lot more than that.

It's an overhaul of the mind, body, and soul.

Exercise, hormones, therapy, the life.

And you get one hour with me by monthly.

That's twice in a month.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you

it's going to change your life, but sweetheart,

this is going to change your fucking life.

And I swear to Jesus, darling.

I'm feeling good here and here and there.

He was pain.

Better than medicine in some cases.

You can trust me on that.

And as such, what I know in my soul is there

ain't nothing in this whole world that heals some of those ills.

Not good.

God damn.

Oh, okay.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you can send her in.

All right.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

Hey, everything's going to be OK, Linda.

Oh, you don't surrender.

Yeah.

Yours, baby.

Yours, baby.

Girl, you don't kind of send the face.

Come here, baby.

We're going to find no mercy.

Well, you can wait on your glasses.

John, I got a deal for you right here.

I ain't lookin' for as a pity.

I ain't come around searching for a crutch.

I just want someone to talk to you.

And a little bit of that human touch.

Just a little bit of that human touch.

Sloan's problem was that her light was too bright.

So she'd learned how to turn it down, and how to come off as a hard and pretty show.

Because when your light is too bright, people fucking hate you.

They also love to talk about you.

And they all said to me, oh, you have to meet Sloan.

She's unbelievably gorgeous.

She and her husband are enviously successful.

And she's his ultimate fantasy.

But it's not all perfect.

There's a secret.

Not too many people knew.

But those who did brought it around like a Jewel.

The secret was that she and her husband brought other people into the bedroom.

Other women hated her because of it.

Like she was there to remind their husbands that some wives still liked to fuck.

People thought it was her husband's desire she was feeding.

But it was really Sloan's.

Her mother had embraced her a number of times to take account on her hands.

So who was anyone to judge her if she experienced tenderness

and love with another man or woman that she felt warmth

even watching her husband inside of someone else?

They had rules that they did not break.

But there were other rules, unspoken ones.

She knew, for example, that the other man could not be in any way better than him.

Sophie, then three days in a row.

I got three horses.

Three days in a row.

Where's my cat?

Guess what I'm drawing today.

What are you drawing today?

Just a plain white horse.

Good.

I didn't think it was serious when you said you hated in pools.

Which pools?

You know, fucking with stat hates pools.

Monkey decide.

In the pool, I feel like I'm swimming in my own spit.

When I just saw you're using our $75,000 platoon to clean seaweed.

You just keep dicing those Persian cucumbers in mind your business.

Sophie, I'll be right back, baby.

OK.

Drink a juice.

One moment, Sloan believes she deserves the world.

Her beautiful husband who wants her more than any husband has ever wanted his wife.

One moment, he only person's son aspires to be his her best soul.

And the very next, she believes she should eat shit and dialogue.

I can do it just a little higher.

Yeah, yeah.

Perfect.

People crave parodies.

OK.

Even in their double dance.

Hey you.

The oysters are great.

I'm not great.

Try.

Where's that?

Please tell Brandon to take down the raw bar now.

But it's already set up.

Fuck.

OK.

Look, right, needs to grab her champagne.

It's all right, we're just in a new oyster man.

Oh, well, man.

Wait, are you going to get the best oysters on the fucking coast?

OK.

Here you go.

Oh, man.

Thank you.

What a weird finish you have.

How do you guys?

You're everything, maybe it's just waiters.

We'll get to work.

What do you think? Got him right.

I'm out, boy.

That's what you like about why I do this.

Sometimes Sloan finds the exact right person.

Someone who excites her and is fine by her husband.

Sometimes it satisfies her.

But sometimes she forgets what she likes about other people.

What she wants in them is the very same thing

her husband craves about her, the danger, and the cruelty.

I'm sorry.

Would you serve the gentleman first?

This looks delicious, but I'm going to have a green lemon.

Please.

Neat.

Is it?

A neat night?

That'll boost your zest of it.

Yeah, right.

Let's a place Sloan Saturday night.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

I'm sick.

Fuck.

Sloan only listens to music written, composed, or performed by black women.

It's just that.

Let me do it so much better.

Do what?

Everything.

Fuck.

Is it on my face?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

She prefers it.

Line back.

Here we go.

Oh, God, you are killing your fucking hell, man.

We almost took out a party of farm-to-table influencers

with spoiled virginica, so I am looking for a savior here.

Influencers.

You mean assholes?

You're nasty.

That's what the name is well.

Press it.

This, for example, was not the kind of man you brought home to your husband.

Thank you.

What?

How do you like it?

I don't want to take a million.

How's your wish?

All right, I'm gonna go grow a million oysters.

And I am gonna go and order aforementioned oysters.

Must that glass please?

She's tasty.

Ooh, yes, dress.

You look beautiful.

Tell the fucking Czechs glitter lad.

What's his name again?

Barry the Czechs glitter.

Where is he?

Oh, thank you.

No, it's an open bar, thank you.

Cheers.

Sit with me, have a drink girl.

I am working and I shouldn't be talking.

It's the guests.

Yes, shh.

You're richer than they get.

Shh, come on.

Ooh, raw bar is open.

Forget Barry, I wanna shock that.

All right, okay.

Shh, go away, I'm working.

I'm serious, you're a terrible influence.

Terrible.

Can you take this back and then have a real clean place?

We are in the middle of my day.

Hey.

Oh, uh, hi.

So I've knocked at the other door, but no one answers.

It makes sense.

I thought you were stuck in by tomorrow.

Oh, yeah.

To my fault, I just got off the boat from

Chappie and you were right down the street, so.

I was even thinking, I can come back later.

That would make me a asshole.

- An influencer, you mean? - Exactly.

Let me get you checked.

It's a nice pool.

I really like pools, especially when the ocean's so close.

Yeah.

I hear you, but you can enjoy both.

- I have it here, I just... - It's all right, you know, you take time.

It's not like I need to be out there and make a money or have other shit to do today.

Here.

Thanks.

There's too much.

Everybody at the party couldn't stop talking about your oysters.

All right, then.

Well, you have my number.

If we want to work together again.

- Is that not of interest? - Well, yeah.

But, you know, there's more life than work.

Is there, though?

What is the last time you went into that perfect pool?

Okay.

What's in there?

I've been that pool every night if I were you.

It's really easy to hate a beautiful woman with money and a pretty family.

I saw the way people looked at her

like they wanted to fuck her or kill her or eat her.

The judgment of others can drive an innocent person to the brink.

Maggie, who was also beautiful, at least did not come from a place of money.

She didn't have a way to defend herself.

But what she did have was the audacity.

What they all had was the audacity to believe that they deserved more.

Who just goes out of this shit.

Only dicks get the disco fries.

Hey, got another one.

Yeah.

Uh, Brad Pitt on the beach or Leo on a boat.

Brad is like my dad's age.

So?

I guess, Brad.

Why?

'Cause he played a vampire.

Like any young girl with a crush on an older man, she wanted to be seen.

She picked out of a crowd like the glowing thing she was.

She didn't exactly know what that meant six years ago.

She didn't know if she wanted sex or no sex,

but she undressed in her room when he watched for the sidewalk.

She was 16 then.

Look at her now at 23 on this day that will append her life and many others forever.

Matt.

Okay.

Table 66.

I can order, please.

No.

- Can we get that, please? - Yeah, sure.

And come back because I need to help the microphone.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Please.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

- You guys ready? - Hey, Max.

Hey.

We went to high school together.

Hey.

What are you gonna get?

I feel so bad.

- Can we get an order of choose fries? - Uh, disco.

Disco.

Disco.

Yeah, I feel.

I'm home over.

Fuck yourselves.

- Can we drop that for like ten minutes? - In life ever.

In life ever.

Yeah.

Just like you last night.

I am.

Okay.

I'll have a Greek salad.

Sure.

- Does it Greek mean but sex? - Okay.

Now.

So of the Greek.

So of the Greek tops.

Yeah.

Hello.

Hey, puppy.

Hey, puppy.

Nice.

Remember when we used to think rich people had better lives?

Let's go on.

Hey.

Stop.

What?

Go back out there and do it again.

No.

Maggie.

Mom.

Maggie's go out there and do it again.

Fine, fine.

Don't keep me waiting.

- What? - Put him up.

Put him up.

No higher.

No higher.

Higher.

Oh, there she is.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

That's the girl.

She's got him against her rope.

She's going for the one to one.

Let's see the jab.

Let's see her.

Oh, oh, oh.

He goes down.

The crowd cheers.

Wow.

You'll be able to spit nails kids.

You're gonna eat something and you're gonna crap thunder.

You're gonna become a mystery, dangerous person.

After the brave men cheer, little boys.

Look, look, look.

Look, look.

- Isn't that your... - It wasn't your teacher.

It's Fargo.

Oh, right.

Oh, my gosh.

I was in a diner in Madora, North Dakota, when I read about this young girl

who had spent hours on the phone with her teacher after midnight.

My mother once told me nothing good happens after midnight.

I couldn't believe it.

That entire jury thought she was lying about something going on.

Talking on their phones for four hours and nothing is going on.

I married father and his high school student.

And I could also tell that the teacher himself, he'd been in love.

Perverse or not, there was something deep to this story

and I would never be able to get her name out of my head.

Teacher of a freaking year?

Dr. Washer.

Yeah, well, he's a cunt too.

He's cute.

You know, it's been five years next.

Time to move on, yeah? Fuck you, guys.

Fuck you!

- You want me to vomit? - Yeah.

Dude, I did not know my fault.

I'm not dating somebody last night.

Why?

You look nice.

There you go.

I heard you left school.

Mm.

But for a wild wings.

Perkins.

Perkins.

Perkins.

Is this your dad married?

Oh, yeah, the whole hoop.

Yeah.

Taylor's oldest time trying to piss off her freezer daddy.

That's whatever the guy's got money.

Fire at ice apartment in the cities.

Got to walk in and bust me.

So now I got her to look like her out.

You want to see? d - Mm-hmm.

Tell you what, being practicing for the step test.

Your mom and I started doing all the stairs at the ice room.

I didn't do them every single morning to the retest.

Put my job back.

Isn't it cold, Marina?

Not when you're working up the sweat.

Remember watching you and that arena, you were what? Be mine.

You're so good.

That pirouette near and whatnot?

What?

You were fantastic.

Coach Nimney used to call you what?

You're told loop was like a hummingbird.

Do you make sense?

She was not sad.

Oh, made sense to me.

All she meant was to be a beautiful one here.

Why didn't you stop taking lessons again?

Why didn't you stop taking lessons again?

The worst thing is when you get frozen in place.

And that last person, when it seems like

there could never in the world be a better person than them.

Oh, no, shit.

I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you,

I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you,

Ooh, there you go!

All right, ladies.

No, give me your help.

You need to service.

A Jackson!

Jackson!

- You did it! - You're done.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, no.

It's not a dirty doll.

I think it's too bad.

I'm just trying to get a fresh start here.

No, I like the tattoos.

I'm not a silly as fog, but whatever.

What then?

Tarded, and even a little sassy twat, then.

- What does that mean? - Not bad.

What?

It's supposed to be a thing to do to this thing.

But.

What?

- What the fuck are you guys talking about? - Nothing.

You're just talking bullshit.

But.

But what?

Max, what?

If something happened with you and him, I don't know.

Maybe it could happen again with another girl.

No.

What?

What do you want me to do?

It's, say I'm a freakin' idiot.

No, she doesn't mean... - I mean, I think you should probably do something about it.

What then, tell me?

- What? - I don't know.

Something.

D I go home d

d It's your name, Max d

d Best boy I've done d

d Now I'm down to part of their play d

d I go home d

d I don't wanna make the rest of me d

d I don't wanna be a fool d

d But I'm down to the world d

d Now I'm down to the world d

d Now I'm down to the world d

d Now I'm down to the world d

d We have been friends for a long, long time d

d When you decided you loved me d

d You had just lost another d

d You did not need another d

d But I told you to lean on me d

d Don't cry for me babe when I'm gone d

d Don't cry for me when I'm gone d

Of questions I want to answer.

D It is not me when it is not me when it is not me d.

D Don't cry for me babe when I'm gone d

I've grown up and gave a new respect to my wife.

D When you shared our days and your smile returned d - You didn't.

It is not me, it's not me, it's not me.

It is not me when it is not me when it is not me when it is not me d

d Don't cry for me when it is not me when it is not me when it is not me d

d It is not me when it is not me when it is

not me when it is not me when it is not me d

There will be any of your presenters to prove me well.