Original subtitles

[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME PLAYS ]

Man: GOOD MORNING, MR. PHELPS.

THE MAN YOU'RE LOOKING AT IS MILOS KURO,

MINISTER OF CULTURE AND DIRECTOR

OF THE NATIONAL THEATER OF THE UCR.

KURO HAS BEEN BOMBARDING HIS PEOPLE

WITH VICIOUS ANTI-AMERICAN PROPAGANDA

IN ORDER TO DISCREDIT THE UCR's PREMIER --

LEON VADOS.

CONSIDERED A PROGRESSIVE BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN,

VADOS IS ATTEMPTING TO NEGOTIATE

A NONAGGRESSION PACT BETWEEN HIS COUNTRY AND OURS.

YOUR MISSION, JIM, SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT IT,

IS TO STOP KURO BEFORE HE DESTROYS

ALL HOPES FOR PEACE BETWEEN OUR TWO COUNTRIES.

AS ALWAYS, SHOULD YOU OR ANY OF YOUR I.M. FORCE

BE CAUGHT OR KILLED,

THE SECRETARY WILL DISAVOW ANY KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR ACTIONS.

PLEASE DISPOSE OF THIS RECORDING

IN THE USUAL MANNER.

GOOD LUCK, JIM.

[ TONE SOUNDS ]

[ PITCH INCREASES ]

1...

2...

3...

4...5...

6.

NOW WHAT DID YOU HEAR?

JUST YOUR COUNTING, JIM.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR THE SHOTS?

NO, BUT WHY?

RADAR -- CREATES A SOUND ENVELOPE.

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN HEAR INSIDE IS WHAT'S PIPED IN.

THEN WHERE THE PREMIER SITS WILL BE CRITICAL.

UNLESS HE'S SEATED DIRECTLY UNDER THE DISK,

IT'S ALL OVER, CINNAMON.

NOW HOW ABOUT THE ADS?

THEY START RUNNING IN TOMORROW'S NEWSPAPERS.

I'LL BE DOING PRESS INTERVIEWS RIGHT UP UNTIL THE OPENING.

WELL, KEEP THEM CONTROVERSIAL.

I DON'T WANT KURO TO BE ABLE TO OPEN A NEWSPAPER

OR TURN ON A TELEVISION SET WITHOUT SEEING YOU.

YOU ALL SET FOR THE MOB SCENE, ROLLIN?

YES, JIM, WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH ACTORS

TO POSE AS POLICE AND PICKETS AND, UH,

PROBABLY GET SOME GOOD NEWSPAPER COVERAGE.

ALSO PICKED UP SOME REAL FANATICS.

GOOD, THEN WE'RE ALL SET TO GIVE MR. KURO

THE MOST ANTI-AMERICAN PROPAGANDA WEAPON

HE'S EVER HAD.

[ Slavic accent ] THE SWINE.

HE WAITS TILL I AM OUT OF THE COUNTRY

TO PREACH HIS REVISIONIST POISON.

BUT WHAT HARM DOES HE DO?

HERE IN AMERICA, IT IS REPORTED, YES,

BUT AT HOME, NOT ONE WORD.

IN OUR PRESS,

THE NEWS IS STILL OF AMERICAN IMPERIALISM

IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THESE PICTURES SHOW

WHAT COEXISTENCE REALLY MEANS, MM?

NOW, THIS IS THE KIND OF CREATIVE PROPAGANDA I CAN USE.

AH.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

GOOD EVENING.

LEE CONRAD, STATE DEPARTMENT.

YES, MR. CONRAD.

COME IN, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

YOUR EXCELLENCY...

I'VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO ARRANGE AN EVENING

OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU.

I'VE HAD ALMOST A WEEK

OF YOUR STATE DEPARTMENT'S ORGANIZED BOREDOM.

SINCE TONIGHT IS MY LAST NIGHT IN YOUR COUNTRY,

I'D PREFER TO SPEND IT WITHOUT A WATCHDOG.

I'M NOT A WATCHDOG, YOUR EXCELLENCY.

I'M YOUR HOST.

I'M QUITE SURE YOU'LL ENJOY THE EVENING

I HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU.

I'VE READ ABOUT THIS PLAY.

PREMIER VADOS AND YOUR PRESIDENT

ARE THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS, HMM?

THAT'S CORRECT.

I TRUST YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

I'M CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT YOU AMERICANS THINK...

IS FUNNY.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Woman: WHAT DOES SHE MEAN -- TRYING TO PUT ON A PLAY LIKE THAT?

Woman #2: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULD LET HER DO IT!

Man: WHAT'S THIS COUNTRY COMING TO?!

IT'S OPENING NIGHT, AND THERE'S AN ANGRY

AND ALMOST VIOLENT CROWD HERE AT THE DELPHI THEATRE

WHERE JOAN VINCENT'S PLAY

"AT THE SUMMIT" IS TO HAVE ITS PREMIERE.

Woman: SHE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED!

Woman #2: TRAITOR!

Man: WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT?

[ MOB YELLING ]

GET OUT!

LET'S MOVE IN A LITTLE CLOSER AND SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

[ YELLING CONTINUES ]

IT IS A VIOLENT DISAGREEMENT OVER THE POLITICAL ARGUMENT

THAT'S OFFERED IN THE PLAY.

NOW HERE IS THE AUTHORESS OVER HERE -- MISS VINCENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS DEMONSTRATION?

WHAT'S YOUR REACTION?

GET A SHOT OF THAT.

LOOK, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO,

YOU CANNOT LOCK UP IDEAS WITH A PADLOCK.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP!

YOU LOUSY TRAITOR!

TRAITOR! TRAITOR!

LOOK, DISSENT IS NOT TREASON.

IT IS GUARANTEED BY THE CONSTITUTION

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Man: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT?!

GET OUT! YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, BACK OFF, BACK OFF.

EVERYBODY, BACK.

I WANT EVERYBODY TO CLEAR THIS AREA.

RIGHT NOW. CLEAR THE AREA.

LOOK, THE POLICE CAN CLOSE UP THE THEATRE,

BUT THEY CANNOT STOP YOU FROM READING MY PLAY.

Man: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!

HERE, TAKE A COPY OF THAT.

GO ON, YOU TAKE THAT HOME. READ IT.

GO ON. HERE, TAKE THAT HOME. READ IT, NOW.

GIVE THAT A GOOD READ.

YOU'LL FIND OUT WHAT THAT SAYS

ABOUT THE RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE.

HERE YOU ARE, SIR.

HEY, AREN'T YOU MILOS KURO?

JOAN, COME HERE!

THIS IS MILOS KURO FROM THE UCR.

IT SEEMS THAT GOVERNMENT CENSORSHIP

HAS RUINED OUR EVENING.

GOVERNMENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, SIR.

THIS IS A LOCAL MATTER.

WELL, IT'S GOVERNMENTAL.

IF IT'S LOCAL, STATE, CITY, OR COUNTRY,

ANY WAY YOU MAP THIS, THIS IS CENSORSHIP.

AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS IN YOUR COUNTRY?

IN THE UCR,

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CENSORSHIP.

THERE WE DO NOT FEAR NEW IDEAS.

WE WELCOME THEM.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF DOING THE PLAY IN YOUR COUNTRY?

WELL, IT'S, UH, IT'S NOT FAIR TO ASK THAT

WITHOUT MY HAVING SEEN THE PLAY.

WELL, IF THAT'S ALL THAT IT TAKES,

YOU WILL SEE IT.

YES, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I AGREE,

MR. PREMIER, AN ALLIANCE.

AN ALLIANCE, MR. PRESIDENT,

AN ALLIANCE HAS BEEN DEFINED AS TWO THIEVES,

EACH WITH HIS HAND SO ENTANGLED

IN THE OTHER MAN'S POCKET THAT THEY CANNOT

SEPARATELY PLUNDER A THIRD.

IT APPEARS AT THIS POINT THERE MAY NOT BE A THIRD.

STILL, MR. PRESIDENT...

STILL, IT MEANS PEACE.

"ON THE DARKENED WALL, THE FLAGS OF BOTH COUNTRIES

SLOWLY MATERIALIZE."

PEACE...

PEACE WAS ONCE DESCRIBED AS A PERIOD OF CHEATING

BETWEEN TWO WARS.

A PERIOD OF CHEATING, PERHAPS, BUT STILL A PERIOD.

YES, A PERIOD.

CURTAIN.

IT'S SUPERB.

YOU ARE A GREAT TALENT,

AND YOU GENTLEMEN WERE PERFECT, SUBTLE, SATIRIC,

BUT IN NO WAY CARICATURES.

OH, MARVELOUS.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL ALLOW US TO DO THE PLAY IN THE UCR?

OH, YES.

OUR PEOPLE MUST SEE THIS, EVEN IF YOURS CANNOT.

I PROMISE YOU A TOP PRODUCTION,

AND EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT BOUND BY COPYRIGHT LAWS

WITH YOUR COUNTRY, I PROMISE YOU FULL ROYALTIES

AND DRAMATIST'S PREROGATIVES.

MISS VINCENT, YOU CANNOT DO THIS.

IF YOUR PLAY IS PRODUCED IN THE UCR,

YOU'LL BE BRANDED AS A TRAITOR HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

WELL, I HOPE NOT.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE.

I'VE SPENT TWO YEARS WRITING THIS PLAY.

I WANT TO SEE IT DONE.

WE'RE READY TO LEAVE. THE SOONER, THE BETTER.

YOU, OF COURSE, MUST BE THERE

TO HANDLE WHATEVER CHANGES DURING REHEARSALS,

BUT FOR THE ACTORS, I SHALL USE

THE TWO GREATEST STARS OF MY COUNTRY --

VITOL ENZOR AND ANTON USAKOS.

BUT YOU SAID IT YOURSELF,

EVANSON AND PETERS ARE PERFECT.

WELL, YES, BUT IN THE UCR, THEY ARE UNKNOWN.

WE NEED OUR STARS TO ATTRACT THE AUDIENCE.

BUT I PROMISED SAM AND JIMMY.

I DO IT WITH ENZOR AND USAKOS,

OR I DON'T DO IT AT ALL.

Jim: BARNEY, THIS IS THE AREA ABOVE THE BALCONY.

WHAT'S DEPARTURE TIME?

CONFIRM BOTH RESERVATIONS. THANK YOU.

[ RECEIVER CLICKS ]

YOUR PLANE LEAVES IN AN HOUR.

RIGHT.

JIM, CAN YOU GET BACK INTO THE UCR IN TIME?

YEAH, THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM. WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE.

NOBODY IS ALLOWED INSIDE THAT THEATER AT ANY TIME

WITHOUT A SPECIAL CLEARANCE.

SOMEBODY PLANTED A BOMB IN THERE LAST WEEK,

AND THE WHOLE PLACE IS LOCKED UP TIGHTER THAN FORT KNOX.

THAT'S RIGHT, JIM --

GUARDS INSIDE AND OUT, EACH ONE WITH A SENTRY DOG.

COMRADE ENZOR, HOW DO YOU DO?

MY NAME IS --

I KNOW. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

COME IN.

ASK YOUR QUESTIONS AND GET OUT.

QUESTIONS, NO.

JUST ANSWERS.

ANSWERS? FROM THE SECRET POLICE?

AND SINCE WHEN DOES A MEMBER

OF THE SECRET POLICE HAVE AN AMERICAN PASSPORT?

"DAVID MORGAN."

THE BROADWAY PRODUCER?

YES, I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]

SO "KING LEAR" ON BROADWAY --

THAT IS WHAT YOU OFFER ME.

WITH A 12-WEEK GUARANTEE OF $6,000 A WEEK

IN AMERICAN DOLLARS.

HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO PROVE MY LOYALTY?

HAVEN'T I PERFORMED WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD

WHERE I'VE BEEN TOLD?

ALL RIGHT, FOR THE 100th TIME, I LOVE MY COUNTRY,

I LOVE OUR GLORIOUS PREMIER.

I LOVE PROPAGANDA MINISTER KURO.

I AM HONORED TO BE A PEOPLE'S ARTIST,

AND I HAVE NO DESIRE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I'M NOT FROM YOUR SECRET POLICE.

I AM DAVID MORGAN.

EVEN IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE,

YOU KNOW I AM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

THAT WE CAN TAKE CARE OF.

NOW, THERE IS A CONTRACT --

RUN OF THE PLAY CONTRACT -- ALREADY SIGNED.

HERE IS A CERTIFIED CHECK

FOR $50,000 NEGOTIABLE ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES,

AND THIS WILL GET YOU OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

BUT THIS IS YOUR PASSPORT.

YES, WHICH SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM FOR AN ACTOR OF YOUR RANGE.

[ DOG BARKS AND GROWLS ]

HE ONLY BITES WHEN I TELL HIM TO.

I HAVE A TABLE FOR BACKSTAGE.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AT MAKEUP.

IN OUR COUNTRY,

ACTORS MASTER EVERY NUANCE OF THEIR ART.

NOW I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIGHT PANEL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THEY BROUGHT THE CONFERENCE TABLE.

THANK YOU.

A MIRACLE.

FOR ONCE, THEY SENT EXACTLY WHAT WAS DESCRIBED

IN THE SCRIPT.

IT'S PERFECT.

OH, BY THE WAY,

I HAVE A FEW LITTLE DIALOGUE CHANGES TO SUGGEST.

NOTHING MAJOR.

YOU KNOW, THIS COULD WORK.

OH, YES.

WELL, YOU'D BETTER GET STARTED.

WELL, I'LL GET PACKED.

NO, NO.

ALL YOU CAN TAKE

IS WHAT I BROUGHT INTO THE COUNTRY.

YOU CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING ALONG

THAT CAN IDENTIFY YOU AT THE BORDER.

BUT MY AWARDS, MY PICTURES, MY MEMENTOS.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED

IS IN THE BACK OF MY LIMOUSINE.

BUT TO LEAVE BEHIND A LIFETIME...

I'M SORRY, BUT THERE'S NO OTHER WAY

IF YOU WANT TO START A NEW LIFE.

GOOD LUCK.

ONE THING PUZZLES ME.

IF I HAVE YOUR PASSPORT,

HOW WILL YOU GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY?

I'LL TELL YOU THAT WHEN I SEE YOU IN NEW YORK.

MR. MORGAN.

READY, SIR.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]

[ SIGHS ]

NO, IT'S NOT THE SAME.

THAT CHANGES THE ENTIRE MEANING OF THE SCENE.

IT DOESN'T CHANGE IT.

IT INTENSIFIES THE MEANING,

DRIVES THE POINT HOME.

DRIVES, YES, LIKE A SLEDGEHAMMER.

GOOD. THEN THEY'LL REMEMBER,

AND WE WILL HAVE SUCCEEDED

IN MAKING THEM CHANGE THEIR WAY OF THINKING.

[ SIGHS ] NOT THIS WAY.

IT'S NOT THEATER, IT'S DULL BALD PROPAGANDA.

THE WAR FOR MEN'S MINDS.

WHOEVER WINS THAT WAR WILL WIN EVERYTHING.

Usakos: SORRY TO BE LATE.

I APOLOGIZE, MY DEAR.

I WAS READING YOUR LOVELY SCRIPT

AND LOST ALL TRACK OF TIME.

NONSENSE. EACH OF OUR STARS ARRIVES LATE

BECAUSE NEITHER WANTS TO BE KEPT WAITING BY THE OTHER.

ENZOR IS NOT HERE?

HOW DARE HE KEEP ME WAITING?

Rollin: IT IS NOT I WHO HAS KEPT YOU WAITING.

IT WAS THOSE FOOL GUARDS WITH THEIR DOGS.

WELL, LET'S NOT WASTE ANY MORE TIME.

LET'S GET TO WORK.

Kuro: ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN

FROM THE START OF ACT TWO.

DON'T PRESS.

WE'RE JUST READING FOR UNDERSTANDING.

AND, ENZOR, A LITTLE SLOWER, IF YOU PLEASE,

TO GIVE ME A CHANCE

TO EXPRESS SOME MEANING.

LIKE KURO, I'D BE GRATEFUL

IF YOU COULD JUST EXPRESS SOME UNDERSTANDING.

YOU WOULD BE GRATEFUL?

Kuro: PLEASE, GENTLEMEN. IT'S A READING.

JUST FOR COMPREHENSION.

AND A LITTLE SLOWER.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE WE?

MR. PREMIER,

YOU SHOULD THANK THE GOD YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN

FOR IMPERIALISTS.

ANTI-IMPERIALISM IS FINISHED WITHOUT US.

PERHAPS. YOU KNOW, YOU SOUND LIKE A CLERGYMAN

GRATEFUL FOR THE EXISTENCE OF EVIL,

SINCE WITHOUT IT, HE'D BE OUT OF BUSINESS.

BUSINESS? OH.

BUSINESS IS SIMPLE.

IT'S MONEY.

OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO --

ONLY THE ROOT OF IT.

ENZOR! WILL YOU PLEASE STOP STEPPING ON MY LINES?

YOUR LINE WAS FINISHED.

PERHAPS WHAT MR. USAKOS MEANS

IS THAT THERE'S MORE TO A SPEECH THAN JUST THE WORDS.

EXACTLY, MY DEAR.

THANK YOU.

YOU ARE VERY UNDERSTANDING

TO LET SOMETHING OF MY INNER FEELINGS COME OUT.

IS THAT ALTOGETHER A GOOD IDEA?

ENOUGH!

ENOUGH OF THIS SESSION!

LEARN THE LINES AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!

I WANT TO GET THIS PLAY ON ITS FEET!

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

AS I HAVE SAID...

SIMPLY TRYING TO PERFORM THE ROLE.

YOU KNOW HOW I PERFORM A ROLE, DON'T YOU?

I KNOW HOW...

DID I PROVOKE HIM?

YOU PROVOKED HIM, YOU PROVOKED ME.

YOU PROVOKE ALL OF US ALL DAY LONG!

I WAS SIMPLY TALKING ABOUT THE ROLE.

[ Fainter ] THAT'S ALL I'M INTERESTED IN.

I'M SIMPLY TRYING TO PERFORM A ROLE.

YOU KNOW HOW I PERFORM A ROLE.

WHAT?

YOU PROVOKE HIM, YOU PROVOKE ME.

YOU PROVOKE ALL OF US ALL DAY LONG!

[ YELLING CONTINUES, VERY FAINT ]

I AM INTERESTED IN THE PART.

YOU ARE BEHAVING LIKE A CHILD!

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TRY NOT TO OFFEND THE OLD WOMAN.

YOU BETTER DO MORE THAN TRY, VITOL.

THIS PLAY HAS BECOME VERY IMPORTANT TO ME,

MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FUTURE.

ANY OTHERS?

THAT'S EVERYTHING.

YOU MAY PASS.

WAIT!

THE ARTS MEDAL OF THE UCR.

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

"PRESENTED TO COMRADE VITOL ENZOR."

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

MR. MORGAN IS UNACCUSTOMED

TO BEING QUESTIONED THIS WAY.

WELL, WE ARE NOT UNACCUSTOMED TO DEALING WITH THIEVES.

YOU ARE MISTAKEN.

MR. ENZOR GAVE THIS MEDALLION TO MR. MORGAN AS A MEMENTO.

WHY DID HE NOT DECLARE IT? WHY WAS IT HIDDEN?

AMERICAN CUSTOMS.

WHY SHOULD MR. MORGAN HAVE TO PAY IMPORT DUTY ON IT?

I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL MR. ENZOR

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE'S SAYING?

HAVE IT VERIFIED.

I'LL PAY FOR THE CALL.

CALL HIM IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

THERE IS NO NEED.

YOU MAY PASS.

I WAS SO FRIGHTENED I ALMOST FORGOT.

IN THIS COUNTRY,

THERE IS ALWAYS ONE ACCEPTABLE EXPLANATION IN SUCH MATTERS.

[ DOG BARKS, GROWLS ]

[ DOG GROWLS ]

ANTON,

WHY CAN'T YOU BE REASONABLE?

I CANNOT WORK WITH HIM. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I HAVE HAD A LONG TALK WITH HIM.

HE IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL.

THEN YOU MUST BE THE PROFESSIONAL. PAY NO ATTENTION TO HIM.

WHEN YOU WORK WITH A PIG,

HOW DO YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE SMELL?

ACTORS.

CHILDREN.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S START AGAIN FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF.

YOUR LINE, VITOL.

"I THINK, MR. PRESIDENT,

WE CAN STOP FENCING," ET CETERA.

I'M SURE WE DO.

WE WANT POWER, TOTAL POWER.

Rollin: BUT THAT WE CANNOT QUITE HAVE, NEITHER OF US.

NOT IN THIS ERA OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

MR. PREMIER...

JUST A MOMENT.

INSTEAD OF WHAT IS INDICATED HERE,

WHAT IF I WALK AWAY FROM HIM

AFTER THAT LINE, AS IF --

AS IF I COULD SEE THE IMPENDING HOLOCAUST?

AND WHILE YOU ARE SEEING THIS, UH,

THIS VISION,

WHAT DO I DO, PLAY TO YOUR BACK?

DON'T CHANGE THE BLOCKING.

I AM ONLY THINKING

OF WHAT WOULD BE BEST FOR THIS SCENE,

NOT THE EGO.

CUE, PLEASE.

NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

MR. PREMIER,

DO WE REALLY HAVE A CHOICE?

ITS OWN SUPERIORITY

IS THE ONE THING EACH NATION KNOWS.

IT NEED NOT BE PROVED.

APPARENTLY, IT MUST BE,

AND PROVED AGAIN EVERY GENERATION,

TO THIS ONE, THE NEXT --

HOW, BY DESTROYING THE WORLD?

I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG

YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE STEPPING ON MY LINES.

I AM TRYING TO CONTROL MYSELF,

BUT I AM OPERATING UNDER A MOST DIFFICULT HANDICAP.

YES. LACK OF TALENT.

I WILL NOT STAND

FOR THIS CHEAP SNIDE BAITING ANY LONGER.

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

THERE'S NO REASON FOR ALL THIS.

GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

MR. USAKOS, I KNOW THAT IT'S DIFFICULT

FOR AN ACTOR OF YOUR STATURE

TO BE DOING THE SMALLER ROLE OF THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT.

WHAT?

A SMALLER PART?

YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY

TO KNOWINGLY CAST ME IN A SMALLER PART THAN HIS?

AS STANISLAVSKY SAID, THERE ARE NO SMALL PARTS,

ONLY SMALL ACTORS.

I WARNED YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU GOADED HIM.

HOW COULD I HELP IT? HE'S A POMPOUS ASS.

BESIDES, HE'S TOTALLY WRONG FOR THE PART.

YOU KNOW, HE HAS A POINT.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.

WHO WOULD YOU SUGGEST I GET TO REPLACE HIM?

JIM EVANSON, THE AMERICAN ACTOR

WHO WAS GOING TO DO THE ROLE IN NEW YORK.

HE'S PERFECT FOR THE PRESIDENT.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S TRUE.

THE PART REALLY SHOULD BE PLAYED BY AN AMERICAN.

AT LEAST GIVE JIM A CHANCE. HE'S HERE.

HERE?

WHY?

HE'S MY HUSBAND.

THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE NEPOTISM, BUT JIM'S REALLY A FINE ACTOR.

YOU KNOW THAT 'CAUSE YOU'VE SEEN HIM YOURSELF.

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TRY HIM.

BUT I PROMISE NOTHING.

I'LL BE WAITING IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

IF HE MAKES TROUBLE WITH EVANSON...

IT WILL BE THE LAST TROUBLE HE EVER MAKES.

OKAY, LET'S TRY IT ONCE, ROLLIN.

TAKE IT FROM HERE.

[ With accent ] "NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

"AND IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

THERE IS NO PAPER LIKE THIS TO COUNT."

Rollin's voice [ With accent ] NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

BUT IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

IT IS SAFE IN MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

GOOD. TELL JIM TO KEEP THE SAME PACE

AS WHEN WE MADE THIS TAPE,

NO MATTER WHAT KURO DIRECTS HIM TO DO.

HOW FAR OUT OF SYNC CAN WE BE?

THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH ADJUSTMENT I CAN MAKE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE ME ALL THE HELP YOU CAN.

[ DOG BARKS ]

MR. EVANSON, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

MR. KURO, THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR GIVING ME THIS CHANCE.

I'M GLAD YOU COULD BE WITH US.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE VITOL ENZOR. JAMES EVANSON.

A PLEASURE.

GLAD TO MEET YOU, SIR.

WELL, SHALL WE START RIGHT IN?

I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO WORK WITH A SCRIPT.

JOAN TOLD ME THERE HAVE BEEN SOME CHANGES.

Kuro: OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

Rollin: YOU CAN SIT HERE.

THANK YOU.

[ GROWLS ]

WHAT IS IT, BUJ?

[ GROWLING ]

[ BARKING ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BARKING AND GROWLING ]

[ DOG BARKING AND GROWLING ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BARKING ]

[ HIGH-PITCHED TONE SOUNDS ]

[ WHINING AND BARKING ]

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

[ TONE SOUNDS ]

[ PITCH DECREASES ]

Rollin: "SO AT LAST I THINK WE HAVE FOUND

AN AREA IN WHICH WE ARE IN ACCORD."

Phelps: "YES.

"WE'VE AGREED WE CAN'T HAVE A WORLD WITHOUT WAR --

"APPARENTLY NO ONE WANTS THAT --

"BUT WE CAN MAKE SURE THAT THE WARS WE NEED

"TO ENSURE OUR OWN PROSPERITY BE LITTLE WARS --

LITTLE AND INEXPENSIVE."

LIKE INSURANCE PREMIUMS

AGAINST AN UNPROFITABLE ARMAGEDDON.

"VERY WELL PUT, MR. PREMIER."

UH...YOU KNOW, I REALLY FEEL THAT I COULD DO BETTER

IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS BOOK IN MY HAND.

I'M A VERY QUICK STUDY.

WOULD YOU MIND A SHORT BREAK?

NOT AT ALL.

YOU BOTH WORK SO WELL TOGETHER. YOU'VE MADE MY WORK SIMPLE.

WE'LL MEET BACK HERE IN ONE HOUR.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME.

AH. MISS VINCENT. MR. ENZOR.

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME MANY, MANY MEMORABLE HOURS

IN THE THEATER, SIR.

THANK YOU, YOUR EXCELLENCY.

AND YOU, MISS VINCENT, I UNDERSTAND NOW

THAT YOU HAVE, UH, WRITTEN A SMALL MASTERPIECE

IN WHICH I APPEAR AS ONE OF THE CHARACTERS.

THANK YOU, YOUR EXCELLENCY. THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

I'M WORRIED THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE MY PLAY.

NOT LIKE IT?

I ASSURE YOU, MISS VINCENT, I'M NOT THIN-SKINNED.

I ENJOY SATIRE, EVEN AT MY OWN EXPENSE.

BUT MY PLAY IS NOT BEING PRODUCED AS I WROTE IT.

KURO HAS CHANGED ITS ENTIRE MEANING.

WELL, I'M SURE HE HAS HIS REASONS.

HE DOES.

I THINK HE MEANS TO DISCREDIT YOU SO THAT HE CAN SEIZE POWER.

I HAVE KNOWN KURO FOR 20 YEARS --

FOUGHT BESIDE HIM AT THE WORST TIMES.

IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT HE WOULD BETRAY ME.

THEN, PLEASE, YOUR EXCELLENCY, MAY I SUGGEST

THAT YOU COME TO THE THEATER FOR AT LEAST ONE REHEARSAL?

HEAR THE PLAY FOR YOURSELF.

I WILL COME TO THE OPENING.

NO. YOU CAN'T WAIT TILL THEN.

I MEAN, MR. PREMIER,

I AM BEING DIRECTED TO PLAY YOU

AS A FOOL AND A FRAUD.

FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE, MR. PREMIER.

I WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.

I UNDERSTAND,

BUT WHEN ONE IS WITH ONE'S ADVISORS,

ONE MUST KEEP TRACK OF TIME.

MORE AND MORE SO AS THE YEARS GO BY.

YET, JUST PRESSURES

CAN MAKE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES BEARABLE.

THAT AND POWER. AND MONEY.

I WOULD THINK THAT EVEN IN YOUR COUNTRY

MONEY HAS A CERTAIN VALUE.

NOT IN MY COUNTRY.

AND IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

THAT THERE IS NO PAPER LIKE THIS TO COUNT.

A DEFENSE FUND IS STILL THE SAME THING?

ESPECIALLY IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES.

AFTER ALL,

A LEADER'S FIRST DUTY IS TO RESIST.

MR. PREMIER, IF WE ARE EVER

GOING TO RESOLVE OUR DIFFERENCES...

UH, YOU KNOW,

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CROSS THAT BOTHERS ME.

IT GOES AGAINST THE NEW WORDS.

WELL, WHAT WOULD BE MORE NATURAL?

WELL, I THINK PERHAPS IF I, UM...

IF I CROSS TO HERE JUST BEFORE HIS NEXT LINE...

ALL RIGHT. LET'S TRY IT.

START AGAIN FROM YOUR ENTRANCE, STAGE LEFT.

[ KNOCKS TWICE ]

FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE, MR. PREMIER.

I WAS UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.

I UNDERSTAND.

WHEN ONE IS WITH ONE'S MISTRESS,

ONE LOSES ALL TRACK OF TIME.

MORE AND MORE AS THE YEARS GO ON.

BUT IT IS SUCH PLEASURES THAT MAKES

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES BEARABLE.

THAT AND POWER. AND MONEY.

I WOULD THINK, EVEN IN YOUR COUNTRY,

THAT MONEY WOULD HAVE A --

A CERTAIN VALUE.

NOT IN MY COUNTRY,

BUT IT COMFORTS ME TO KNOW

IT IS SAFE IN MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

[ BOTH CHUCKLING ]

YES, A LITTLE RETIREMENT FUND

IS A GOOD THING.

ESPECIALLY IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES.

AFTER ALL,

A LEADER'S FIRST DUTY IS TO HIMSELF.

STOP!

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!

YOU ACTUALLY INTEND TO PRESENT

THIS OBSCENITY TO OUR PEOPLE?

PORTRAYING ME AS A -- AS A LECHER,

AS A THIEVING -- AS A --

UH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SIR?

OF COURSE NOT.

LOOK. READ FOR YOURSELF.

BUT THIS ISN'T THE PLAY.

YOUR EXCELLENCY, THIS IS NOT THE PLAY WE WERE DOING.

THIS -- THIS IS, UM, PERJURY.

YOU HEARD YOURSELF THE LINES THAT WERE SPOKEN.

YOU HAVE THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR OWN EARS.

YES.

I HAVE EXCELLENT HEARING -- ALSO AN EXCELLENT MEMORY.

DID YOU NOT HAVE MR. ENZOR, WHO IS ME,

SAY THAT HE HAD A -- A MISTRESS,

THAT HE HAD A FUND OF STOLEN MONEY IN A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT,

AND THAT HIS FIRST DUTY IS TO HIMSELF?

BUT, N-NO ONE SAID THIS, YOUR EXCELLENCY.

IT ISN'T -- I-IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I -- I -- I NEVER SAW OR HEARD A WORD BEFORE!

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!

THIS ISN'T THE PLAY!

THERE'S A MISTAKE OF SOME KIND!

I APPEAL TO YOU!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" THEME PLAYS ]