Original subtitles

SHH.

[COUGH COUGH]

[COUGH COUGH]

QUIET!

FROM THE TOP.

SHH!

♪ GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN ♪

♪ LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY

♪ REMEMBER CHRIST OUR SAVIOR ♪

♪ WAS BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY ♪

♪ TO SAVE US ALL FROM SATAN'S POWER ♪

♪ WHEN WE WERE GONE ASTRAY

[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ O TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY ♪

♪ FROM GOD OUR HEAVENLY FATHER ♪

♪ A BLESSED ANGEL CAME

♪ AND UNTO CERTAIN SHEPHERDS ♪

♪ BROUGHT TIDINGS OF THE SAME ♪

♪ AND UNTO THEM A MAN WAS BORN ♪

♪ THE SON OF GOD BY NAME

♪ O TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY ♪

♪ COMFORT AND JOY

♪ O TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY ♪

NO.

♪ GOD REST YE MERRY-- ♪

BOYS. BOYS, STOP THAT.

BOYS! BOYS!

BOYS! STOP THAT!

STOP THAT! STOP IT!

BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

BOYS! BOYS! STOP THAT!

BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

[BELL RINGS]

YOU KNOW MY CORNY GRANDMA--

THE ONE THAT'S NOT DEAD?

SHE WANTS ME TO MAKE THIS LIST

OF WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS,

LIKE SHE'S SANTA CLAUS OR SOMETHING?

THIS IS WHAT I GOT--

I GOT A HOCKEY MASK, I GOT CASH,

BUT I REALLY WANT A BABE.

LET'S SEE.

WELL, HOW MANY BABES DO YOU WANT?

DO YOU WANT 8?

YOU WANT 10? 12? HOW MANY?

2, THAT'S ALL.

2?

I'M NOT GREEDY.

ZERO'S MORE LIKE IT, FISHER.

BETTER MAKE A NEW LIST.

I LIKE HIM. REALLY.

I SEE A LONG FUTURE FOR HIM

IN THE HELPING PROFESSIONS.

SO, YOU DOING ANYTHING COOL FOR CHRISTMAS?

I DON'T KNOW YET. WE'LL SEE.

IT'S THE FIRST CHRISTMAS SINCE DAD MOVED OUT.

HEY, HALLIE.

ETHAN, WHERE WERE YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M 2 MINUTES LATE.

I WAS GOING TO LEAVE.

NO, YOU WEREN'T.

BUT DADDY'S COMING. WHAT IF WE'RE NOT THERE?

WHAT IF HE DOESN'T WAIT? THAT'S POSSIBLE.

HALLIE, LOOK,

DON'T DO THAT EVER, OK?

DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF.

YOU'VE GOT TO PROMISE ME THAT.

WHERE COULD I GO? I'M IN A TUTU.

HALLIE.

I PROMISE.

OK. GOOD.

AND INCIDENTALLY, I KIND OF LIKE THE TUTU.

GOOD. YOU WEAR IT.

NAW. I'LL PUT IT ON WHEN I GET HOME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GOING TO BE AN ACTRESS.

YEAH?

LIKE NANA.

ON PLUTO, BECAUSE THAT'S MY FAVORITE PLANET.

YEAH?

IT'S MY FAVORITE PLANET, TOO.

WHERE'D YOU PUT YOUR MITTENS?

YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

YEAH, I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.

I SOLD THEM.

THAT'S FINE.

HOPE YOU GOT A GOOD DEAL.

COME ON.

SO HOW WAS YOUR ASSEMBLY?

REALLY BABY.

MY WHOLE GRADE JUMPED UP AND DOWN

LIKE IT WAS REALLY THE NUTCRACKER.

BUT, HALLIE, YOU LOVE THE NUTCRACKER.

MOM AND NANA TAKE YOU EVERY YEAR.

TO THE REAL ONE WITH TICKETS.

HAL, THE NUTCRACKER IS THE NUTCRACKER.

GOSH, I'M ON A STREET IN NEW YORK

ARGUING ABOUT REALITY WITH A 7-YEAR-OLD.

NO. IT'S THAT MAN. THAT FAKE GUY.

WOULD YOU GO TO A FAKE SANTA?

IF YOU WENT TO A FAKE GUY,

YOU WOULDN'T GET ANYTHING.

YOU GOT TO GO TO THE REAL GUY

AT MACY'S.

CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

HI. MERRY CHRISTMAS. HAPPY HANUKKAH.

HELLO, DARLING. HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

MY TEACHER SAYS

ALWAYS SAY BOTH THINGS IN NEW YORK

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE REALLY SENSITIVE.

ISN'T THAT A GOOD IDEA?

DO YOU ALWAYS SAY BOTH THINGS?

YEAH, SURE.

I TRY.

MOM, WE'RE HOME!

HI, NANA.

HI, NANA.

HI, DARLING.

BONSOIR,OLIVIA.

HELLO, ETHAN.

LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

THAT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT

THE BEST-LOOKING THING I EVER SAW.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

PLEASE DON'T TAKE A PICTURE.

IT'S EMBARRASSING ENOUGH

TO HAVE TO WEAR THIS IN THE ACTUAL STREET.

THAT'S NOT TRUE. HALLIE, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

IS THE BABY KICKING? CAN I FEEL IT?

NO. HE'S RESTING TODAY. WAIT.

OH. THERE HE GOES. HE KICKS.

GUESS HE'S ALL RIGHT.

I GET SOME MILK.

IT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AND THE BABY.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

BYE, OLIVIA.

ETHAN, HELP ME WITH THE TREE.

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

HI, MOM.

HOW'D IT GO?

FINE.

YEAH? GOOD.

DID YOU BRING ME SOME BOOKS?

YES. OLD YELLERAND SOME MORE MARY POPPINS,

AND FOR ETHAN I BROUGHT SOME LANDMARKS.

OH, COOL.

HI, MOM.

HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. WHERE IS HE?

I'M SURE HE'S ON HIS WAY.

HALLIE, COME ON.

LET'S GET READY FOR YOUR DAD.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

THANKS. YOU, TOO.

MR. O'FALLON.

HEY, STELLA.

HEY. HOW'S MY FAVORITE EX-MOTHER-IN-LAW

AND SECOND LADY OF THE AMERICAN THEATER?

EXCELLENT. AND QUITE GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR YOUR EX-WIFE,

THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED ABOUT HER YET.

UP THERE, HUH?

MM-HMM.

WISH ME LUCK.

YOU'LL NEED IT.

I THINK I HEAR DAD.

BOO.

YOU'RE WEARING MY FAVORITE COLOR,

IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED.

BLACK?

SHH!

Michael: WHY DON'T YOU CUT ME A BREAK, SLICK?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

NOT A GREAT BEGINNING.

AT LEAST HE CALLED HER SLICK.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME.

TRY THE KIDS.

THEY'VE BEEN WAITING OVER 2 HOURS

FOR YOU TO TAKE THEM TO THE MUSEUM

TO SEE THE DINOSAURS.

THE DINOSAURS CAN WAIT.

THEY'VE ALREADY WAITED MILLIONS OF YEARS.

LOOK, THE KIDS UNDERSTAND

WHEN STUFF GOES WRONG AT THE DINER.

WELL, THE DINER?

OF COURSE, THE DINER COMES FIRST.

NOW WE'RE ON TO THE DINER.

HEY, LOOK, LET'S FINISH THE GAME.

[ARGUING CONTINUES]

WE FINISHED IT. I WAS SLAUGHTERING YOU.

LET'S--LET'S PLAY ANOTHER HAND, OK?

CATHERINE, THE KIDS LOVE THE DINER.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

THEY UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME,

AND I'VE JUST GOT THINGS GOING DOWN THERE, AND--

I UNDERSTAND THAT, TOO.

REALLY?

THAT'S FUNNY.

I THOUGHT THAT'S WHY WE SPLIT UP--

'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND

WHY I'D DROP-KICK OUR DIM LITTLE YUPPIE LIFESTYLE

FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING

THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY GIVE US PLEASURE.

GIVE YOU PLEASURE, YOU MEAN.

I DON'T RECALL BEING CONSULTED.

I DON'T INTEND TO GET INTO THIS ARGUMENT.

YEAH, WELL, NOW WE'RE IN IT.

LET'S HAVE IT.

WE'VE ALREADY HAD IT.

HEY, DAD!

HI, DAD.

HEY, YOU GUYS. COME HERE.

YEAH!

WHOA! SORRY I'M LATE.

IT'S OK.

WE KNEW YOU'D COME, RIGHT, ETHAN?

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Lil: CATHERINE, HE'S HERE.

"HE" BEING?

TONY. TONY.

TONY.

BYE, SWEETHEART.

BYE, BABY.

MMM.

BYE, MOM.

LILLIAN, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL...

OH...

AS USUAL.

YES.

LET'S GO, TONY.

THERE'S NO RUSH, REALLY.

CURTAIN'S NOT TILL 8:00.

WE'RE SEEING CATS.

ORCHESTRA SEATS.

LUCKY YOU.

TONY, CAN WE JUST GO?

HI, TONY.

HEY, TONY.

MICHAEL.

MIKE, PLEASE. HOW YOU DOING?

MIKE.

HOW'S EVERYTHING ON WALL STREET?

IS...THAT A LOADED QUESTION, OR--

BYE, SWEETIE.

NO, IT'S NOT LOADED,

NOT EVEN REMOTELY LOADED.

BYE, MOM.

HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY BE LOADED?

I'LL ACCEPT THAT.

BACK BY MIDNIGHT.

HA HA, ONLY KIDDING.

I WISH THAT JUST ONCE HE WOULD SHOW UP

WITHIN 2 HOURS OF WHEN HE SAID HE'D SHOW UP,

SO THAT SOMEBODY COULD PLAN SOMETHING.

I GOT AN IDEA. INSTEAD OF DINOSAURS,

HOW ABOUT IF WE GO TO THE DINER?

SURE. WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT TO DO.

WANT TO COME DOWNTOWN, LIL?

OH, NO, NO.

THIS IS YOUR TIME.

BYE, NANA.

GOODBYE, DARLING.

COME ON, GUYS. SWEET DREAMS, LIL.

COME ON, KID. OH!

READY TO SLING SOME HASH?

YEAH!

[JUKEBOX PLAYING] ♪ TAKE OUT THE PAPERS

♪ AND THE TRASH

LET'S GO! MOVE IT OUT!

♪ OR YOU DON'T GET NO SPENDING CASH ♪

♪ IF YOU DON'T SCRUB THAT KITCHEN FLOOR ♪

♪ YOU AIN'T GONNA ROCK 'N' ROLL NO MORE ♪

♪ YAKETY YAK

♪ DON'T TALK BACK

♪ JUST FINISH CLEANIN' UP YOUR ROOM ♪

♪ LET'S SEE THAT DUST FLY WITH THAT BROOM... ♪

MICHAEL, DANCE WITH ME!

♪ OR YOU DON'T GO OUT FRIDAY NIGHT ♪

♪ YAKETY YAK

[WITH MUSIC] DON'T TALK BACK!

♪ YOU JUST PUT ON YOUR COAT AND HAT ♪

♪ AND WALK YOURSELF TO THE LAUNDROMAT ♪

♪ AND WHEN YOU FINISH DOIN' THAT ♪

♪ BRING IN THE DOG AND PUT OUT THE CAT ♪

♪ YAKETY YAK

♪ DON'T TALK BACK ♪

[BELLS RING]

OK, IT'S BEDTIME, HALLIE.

YOU ONLY MAKE RULES LIKE THIS

WHEN YOU'RE LOSING.

DAD'LL BE UP TO TUCK YOU IN,

AND I DON'T WANT TO GET YELLED AT.

HE WON'T YELL.

IF WE LIVED WITH HIM, HE'D YELL.

BUT WE DON'T, SO HE WON'T.

AND BESIDES, GUESS WHAT?

I CAN'T.

YOU GOT ME STUMPED.

I THINK THEY'RE GETTING ALONG BETTER--

MOM AND DAD--

SINCE LAST YEAR.

THEY GOT DIVORCED LAST YEAR,

SO THEY COULDN'T BE GETTING ALONG MUCH WORSE.

ALL RIGHT. I'M BORED NOW.

WILL YOU READ ME OLD YELLER?

I CAN READ IT MYSELF,

BUT I LIKE THE WAY YOU DO THE VOICES.

YOU MAKE EVERYONE SOUND WEIRD.

WHY DID YOU SAY

THEY'RE GETTING ALONG BETTER?

'CAUSE I'M GOING TO ASK SANTA

TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

SO WE CAN HAVE US BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.

NOW, LOOK, HALLIE,

YOU CAN'T ASK SANTA CLAUS FOR THAT.

WHY NOT?

WELL, BECAUSE...

BECAUSE HE'S JOLLY.

HE'S A JOLLY, FAT GUY,

AND NOT A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.

BUT I REALLY WANT IT.

HEY, KID.

HEY, DAD.

RRRR...

WHY AREN'T YOU IN BED?

I HAVE THIS PROBLEM.

YEAH? WELL...

YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT IT

WHILE I TUCK YOU IN.

SO THE PROBLEM IS,

I HAVE TO SEE SANTA CLAUS TOMORROW.

AND MOM'S BUSY, SO WILL YOU TAKE ME?

UH, TOMORROW...

I GOT TO WORK ALL DAY TOMORROW, HONEY.

HEY, ETHAN.

NO. NUH-UH. FORGET ABOUT IT.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

NO, DAD, NO.

NOW, LOOK, HALLIE,

YOU CAN ASK FOR TOYS, PARAKEETS,

HAIR CARE PRODUCTS-- I DON'T CARE,

BUT YOU MAY NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING

TO DO WITH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. GOT IT?

THIS IS SANTA CLAUS, NOT DEAR ABBY.

SUCKER?

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

OH, NO, THIS IS GREAT.

THIS IS--

OH, MAN, KEVIN MARS.

OH, GREAT.

LOOK, I'M WATCHING YOU, OK?

OH, THIS IS EXCELLENT, THIS IS WONDERFUL.

EXCUSE ME.

HEY, O'FALLON!

HEY, KEVIN!

HOW YOU DOING? I WAS, UM...

JUST CHECKING OUT THESE F-16s.

ARE THESE AIRPLANES, OR WHAT?

WOW!

HO HO HO HO.

WELL, NOW, AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME, LITTLE GIRL?

HALLIE O'FALLON.

HALLIE O'FALLON.

LOTS OF Ls IN THERE. THAT'S A VERY PRETTY NAME.

HOW WAS EVERYTHING LAST YEAR?

DID YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF?

PERFECTLY. NOW HERE'S THE DEAL, SANTA.

MY BROTHER'S WATCHING, SO WHATEVER I SAY,

JUST SMILE AND NOD.

WE SAW YOU WAITING IN LINE TO SEE SANTA.

OH, YEAH, RIGHT.

LIKE I'M HERE TO SEE SANTA CLAUS?

I'M TIRED OF HOLDING THIS FOR YOU, OK?

YOU'RE AN ELF, RIGHT?

NO...NO, NO, I'M NOT.

NO, SORRY.

YES, YOU ARE.

SANTA'S ELVES ALWAYS PRETEND THEY'RE NOT.

IT'S THEIR FLAW.

LOOK, KID.

I'M A PERSON, NOT AN ELF.

COME ON, DEAR.

SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU A SPAZ,

YOU'RE AN ELF?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M AN ELF.

I'M THE ELF KING.

DON'T WORRY. WE WON'T TELL.

OH...

WELL, THAT'S A PRETTY TALL ORDER, YOU KNOW.

I USUALLY SPECIALIZE IN STUFF YOU CAN WRAP.

UH...

SHH!

OH, HELLO!

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

THANK YOU. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COATS IN THERE.

YOU KNOW ALL THESE PEOPLE?

GOD, NO! I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS.

SHOULD WE CALL THE POLICE?

YEAH. LET'S GET RID OF THEM.

MMM! LIL!

LOVELY PARTY!

OH...

HMM? I MAY CALL YOU LIL?

OH, PLEASE.

THEN EACH TIME I HEAR YOU SAY IT,

I'LL KNOW THAT'S MY CUE TO SAY, "YES, TONY?"

YES. UH...

I WAS LOOKING FOR CATHERINE.

OH. WELL, MAYBE OVER THERE.

NEVER USE THE WORD "LOVELY," DEAR.

IT'S THE MARK OF THE JERK.

WELL, DOES THE CONCEPT WORK FOR YOU?

OR IS THE CREME FRAICHE TOO ASSERTIVE?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOOD?

THE ONION RINGS AT MY DAD'S DINER.

YOU SHOULD GO THERE.

BUT DON'T HAVE THE POTATO SALAD.

IT STILL HAS KINKS.

CAN I TAKE SOME OF THESE TO MY BROTHER?

YEAH, SURE.

THANKS.

THANKS.

HERE. TRY THESE.

WAIT. MAKE THE PIG SOUND.

HALLIE!

PLEASE? YOU MAKE THE BEST PIG SOUND

IN NEW YORK.

PLEASE?

CATHERINE!

OH, SUSAN, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I JUST LEFT THE OFFICE.

I HAVE ALL THE JACKET COPY FOR YOUR SUMMER LIST.

OH, STEPHANIE'S HERE! SHE'S IN FROM BOSTON.

HER FATHER AND HIS REALLY DELIGHTFUL FOURTH WIFE

DECIDED TO TRUST ME WITH HER.

LOOK, JUST ONE PIG SOUND, OK?

[SNORTING LIKE A PIG]

[SNORTING CONTINUES]

STEPHANIE, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU, BUT--

I WANTED TO TAKE HER TO THE NUTCRACKERTOMORROW.

Catherine: WE'RE TAKING HALLIE.

Hallie: SEE?

YOU'RE THE BEST PIG IN THE WORLD.

SHE WANTS TO GO

TO THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART.

WOULD YOU LIKE A CANAPE

OR A NICE BOWL OF MUD?

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE! THIS IS THE BIG MOMENT.

NOT EXACTLY ROCKEFELLER CENTER,

BUT MERRY CHRISTMAS, ANYWAY.

[APPLAUSE]

♪ I REALLY CAN'T STAY

♪ BUT, BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT TO GO 'WAY

♪ BUT, BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE ♪

♪ THIS EVENING HAS BEEN ♪

♪ BEEN HOPING THAT YOU'D DROP IN ♪

♪ SO VERY NICE

♪ I'LL HOLD YOUR HANDS, THEY'RE JUST LIKE ICE ♪

♪ MY MOTHER WILL START TO WORRY ♪

♪ BEAUTIFUL, WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? ♪

♪ MY BROTHER WILL BE THERE AT THE DOOR ♪

♪ LISTEN TO THE FIREPLACE ROAR ♪

EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.

♪ SO REALLY, I'D BETTER SCURRY ♪

♪ BEAUTIFUL, PLEASE DON'T HURRY ♪

♪ WELL, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE WHILE MORE ♪

♪ NEVER SUCH A BLIZZARD BEFORE ♪

♪ I'VE GOT TO GET HOME ♪

♪ BUT, BABY, YOU'D FREEZE OUT THERE ♪

♪ SAY, LEND ME A COMB ♪

EXCUSE ME.

♪ IT'S UP TO YOUR KNEES UP THERE ♪

SORRY.

♪ I WISH I KNEW HOW ♪

♪ YOUR EYES ARE LIKE STARLIGHT NOW ♪

♪ TO BREAK THE SPELL ♪

♪ I'LL TAKE YOUR HAT, YOU HAIR LOOKS SWELL ♪

♪ I OUGHT TO SAY NO, NO, NO, SIR ♪

♪ MIND IF I MOVE IN CLOSER? ♪

♪ AT LEAST I'M GONNA SAY THAT I TRIED ♪

♪ WHAT'S THE SENSE OF HURTING MY PRIDE? ♪

♪ I REALLY CAN'T STAY ♪

♪ OH, BABY, DON'T HOLD OUT ♪

♪ AH, BUT IT'S ♪ BABY, IT'S

♪ COLD

♪ OUT...

♪ SIDE ♪

[APPLAUSE]

OH, THAT CHAIR'S BROKEN.

GEE, TONY, THAT'S VERY HELPFUL. THANK YOU.

"HEY, WOW! WHAT A SURPRISE!"

NO, COME ON, THAT SUCKS.

YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.

UM...

"HEY! FANCY MEETING YOU..."

NO, COME ON, THAT'S EVEN WORSE.

WHO SAYS "FANCY" ANYMORE? NOBODY, RIGHT?

COME ON, NOW.

UM...I'LL JUST SAY...

"HEY, WOW!"

NO, THAT'S TOO NINJA TURTLE-ISH.

UM...

WAIT, WAIT, I CAN DO THIS. OK.

[GASPS]

OH!

OH, WOW!

HEY!

HEY, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ON EARPHONES]

HEY...

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GREAT. HOW YOU DOING?

GREAT!

I'M--I'M IN A MUSEUM.

YEAH, SO AM I.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

SO, DO YOU LIKE THIS PAINTING?

IT'S--IT'S... JACKSON POLLOCK,

UH...

BLACK AND WHITE NUMBER 20.

YEAH, I LIKE TO JUST WATCH IT

AND THEN HEAR THE MUSIC,

AND JUST SEE HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL.

DO YOU WANT TO LISTEN?

NO, IT'S--

IT'S GREAT. LISTEN.

OK, SURE.

[YELLING] WELL, FRANKLY, I PREFER

NUMBER 12AND NUMBER 4 YOU KNOW. YEAH, I THINK.

ETHAN, IT'S REALLY-- SHH!

IT'S REALLY LOUD.

THE OTHERS ARE OVERRATED, YOU KNOW.

YEAH.

SO HOW AM I DOING?

YEAH, NEW YORK IS REALLY GREAT,

BUT WHEN MY PARENTS SPLIT UP

AND MY MOM CAME HERE,

I'D ALREADY STARTED SCHOOL IN BOSTON,

SO...

YEAH, WELL, I LIKE NEW YORK.

"THERE'S 8 MILLION STORIES IN THE NAKED CITY."

MY FATHER ALWAYS SAYS THAT.

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS I LIKE BEING ONE OF THOSE STORIES.

AND THE MUSEUMS HERE,

THE MUSEUMS ARE INCREDIBLE.

THEY REALLY ARE.

I BET YOU LIKE TO SPEND HOURS HERE, HUH?

15 MINUTES.

TOPS.

THEN I GET HUNGRY.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

YEAH, WELL, I COULD BE.

STARVING.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SAID

YOU KNEW THIS GREAT RESTAURANT?

I NEVER EXPECTED TO HAVE LUNCH HERE.

THIS IS A GREAT PLACE TO EAT,

ESPECIALLY AT THE GIFT-GIVING HOLIDAYS.

DO YOU LIKE TO EAT?

THESE ARE CREPES,

AND THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.

TRY A WONDER WAFFLE WAFFLEMAKER.

PERFECT WAFFLES EVERY TIME.

THEY'RE NOT FROM FRANCE.

THEY'RE GUARANTEED NONADHESIVE.

AH, GOOD DAY, SIR.

DO YOU HAVE A FISH WISH?

WELL, SUSHI FOR EVERY OCCASION.

SUSHI FOR EVERY CAUCASIAN.

THANK YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

[PLAYING HEART AND SOUL]

HEART AND SOUL, BEAUTIFUL NAME.

[MUFFLED VOICES]

I KNOW YOU DON'T

PARTICULARLY CARE FOR TONY.

HE'S NOT MICHAEL. WE BOTH KNOW THAT,

BUT HE MAKES ME FEEL SPECIAL.

BUT YOU ARESPECIAL.

YOU'RE MY MOTHER. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

SINCE A MAN HAS MADE ME FEEL THAT WAY.

MOM, I'M GOING TO MARRY TONY.

I WISH I COULD DO IT WITH YOUR BLESSING.

THANKS FOR WALKING ME HERE.

YEAH, WELL, UM...

HEY, LISTEN, IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY TONIGHT,

I'D REALLY LIKE TO DO SOMETHING.

OH, I CAN'T.

MOM'S TAKING ME TO SEE CATS,AGAIN.

I HATE CATS.

BUT I'M BUSY, SO...

HOW ABOUT SATURDAY AFTERNOON?

YOU KNOW, I GOT TO GO TO COTILLION.

THEY MAKE EVERYBODY AT MY SCHOOL GO.

I HATE IT.

I HAD TO DO THAT LAST YEAR.

IF YOU CAME, I COULD DANCE WITH YOU

INSTEAD OF SOME GIRL.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

SOME STRANGE GIRL I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO GO BACK TO BOSTON ANYWAY.

WELL, HOW IS BOSTON?

IS BOSTON GOOD?

BOSTON'S GOOD.

YEAH, HEARD THEY GOT LOTS OF BEANS THERE.

BEANS?

YEAH. IT GOES TOGETHER, BOSTON AND BEANS.

FREE ASSOCIATION.

OH. WELL, THERE'S MY TRAIN.

YEAH.

BYE.

BYE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HAPPY HANUKKAH.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. BLESS YOU.

HI, EVERYONE. I'M HOME.

HEY, YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY.

I KNOW. FORGET MY PRETTINESS.

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU NOW!

GET READY. WE'RE LEAVING IN 10 MINUTES.

HE'LL BE READY. I SWEAR ON HIS LIFE.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

SMART BOY.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,

SOMEONE MAKE A TUNA FISH SANDWICH

OUT OF THE LITTLE MERMAID?

DON'T TEASE ME, ETHAN. THIS IS SERIOUS.

WHAT, HALLIE, WHAT IS IT?

I'VE DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLE,

AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

OK, COME ON, TELL ME.

YOU CAN TELL ME.

I ASKED SANTA

TO HAVE MOM AND DAD GET MARRIED AGAIN.

I KNOW YOU SAID NOT TO,

BUT I DID.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.

THE PROBLEM IS...

I FORGOT TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.

AND WHILE YOU WERE GONE,

I HEARD MOM TALKING TO NANA ABOUT MARRYING TONY.

ETHAN.

Catherine: ETHAN, HALLIE, TONY'S HERE!

SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

OK, HONEY, HAVE FUN.

HEY, MOM, COME IN JUST FOR A MINUTE.

WE HAVE TO GET TO THE BALLET.

I KNOW, BUT YOU'VE NEVER

REALLY SEEN THE PLACE YET.

I'VE SEEN IT.

NOT ALL FINISHED.

COME ON, MOM!

I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.

HALLIE, STAY IN THE CAR WITH TONY.

NO, NO.

HALLIE, THAT'S THE PHONE.

HALLIE, YOU'RE SCRATCHING THE...

SO, HALLIE, I BET YOU DON'T KNOW

WHO COMPOSED THE NUTCRACKER.

TCHAIKOVSKY.

GOOD.

VERY GOOD.

EXCELLENT.

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S COOL, MOM?

HUH?

YOU GOT TO ADMIT IT'S COOL.

DON'T YOU THINK?

I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS.

ETHAN, EH...

GIVE ME THAT KISS.

[LOUD KISSING]

THANKS.

HELLO, MICHAEL.

HEY, SLICK.

COULDN'T TAKE ANOTHER YEAR OF THE NUTCRACKER,HUH?

GIVE IT TO ME.

SHEP'S WAITING ON YOU.

HEY, SHEP!

GIVE ME THE BIG ONE.

HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

YEAH!

WE SHOULD GO.

I'LL BE BACK FOR HIM LATER.

WHOA, WHOA. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S NICE. IT'S A NICE PLACE.

NICE?

ANY OF THIS STUFF LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU?

IT'S EXTREMELY NICE.

I MEAN, I HAD NO IDEA...

WHEN YOU MOVED OUT?

THAT IT WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY? NO.

COME SEE THE LOFT.

TONY AND HALLIE ARE WAITING.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

ALL RIGHT, JUST ONE MINUTE.

HEY.

I SAID BURN IT.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

HERE, TRY THAT ONE.

SHE LIKES IT HERE.

IT'S A NICE PLACE.

YEAH, IT'S PARADISE.

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS-- ♪

IT'S VERY PRETTY.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REST OF IT?

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

VOILA.

THE KIDS SEEM TO LIKE IT.

DOWNTOWN, I MEAN.

THE CREATIVE ATMOSPHERE AROUND HERE.

EVEN THE PIGEONS ARE POETS DOWNTOWN.

AH...

YOU REMEMBER.

NEW HAVEN.

YORK STREET.

BREWSTER'S DINER. IT LOOKS JUST LIKE IT.

HOW'D YOU GET IT TO LOOK LIKE THAT?

I HEARD THEY WERE CLOSING--

BREWSTER'S CLOSED?

YEAH.

I TOOK A TRUCK UP THERE.

I GOT ALL THE FIXTURES, THE JUKEBOX.

I EVEN STOLE THEIR MENU.

MICHAEL, I HAVE TO GO.

YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, BUT I DON'T SEE MUCH...

THIS IS REALLY NICE.

YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, TOO.

MICHAEL, I'M GETTING MARRIED.

THAT YOU HAVEN'T SAID.

WELL...

I'M SAYING IT.

SO, UH...

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

YOU BETTER GET A MOVE ON, SLICK.

THE SUGARPLUM FAIRIES ARE WAITING.

NOT BAD.

MM-HMM.

MOMMY.

WHAT, HONEY?

I THINK ONE OF MY GLANDS IS SWOLLEN.

GEE, THEY FEEL OK.

AND I THINK I HAVE A FEVER.

WELL, YOU DO FEEL A LITTLE WARM.

I THINK YOU'LL LIVE.

DON'T CRUSH THE COLLAR.

OH, FEELING BETTER?

MUCH.

HEY, FRANKIE!

HEY, MIKE.

FRANK, CAN YOU HELP ME OUT ON CHRISTMAS?

I'M ALL OUT OF CHOCOLATE!

CHOCOLATE FOR CHRISTMAS, SURE, MIKE.

YOU'RE MY FAVORITE CUSTOMER.

THANKS, FRANK!

I'LL BRING IT 7:00 CHRISTMAS EVE.

THEN I'M OFF TO JERSEY.

OK.

Waitress: DON'T FORGET

TO HANG YOUR STOCKING, FRANKIE.

BY 2 POINTS IN OVERTIME.

HEY, HEY.

POOR FRANKIE, DEAF AS A DOORKNOB.

ALTHOUGH, I'VE KNOWN SOME DOORKNOBS

WHO HEARD PERFECTLY WELL.

YEAH. SO MOM'S SEEN THE PLACE?

RIGHT.

ETHAN, YOU LIKE COMING HERE, RIGHT?

I LOVE IT HERE.

GREAT. I LOVE HAVING YOU AND HALLIE HERE.

YOU KNOW ABOUT MOM AND--

YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR MOM--

YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO.

COME ON, DAD. YOU'RE A SMART GUY.

YOU'RE THE SMARTEST GUY I'VE EVER KNOWN.

NO. NO, I'M SERIOUS, DAD.

ALL THE OTHER DADS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME--

THE SAME TIE, THE SAME HAIRCUT,

EVEN THE SAME CAR ALARM.

BUT YOU'RE DIFFERENT, DAD.

YOU'VE GOT THIS PLACE.

RIGHT.

THE BLUE PLATE SPECIAL-- MIDLIFE CRISIS HERE.

LOOK,

YOUR MOM HAS A RIGHT TO BE...

I DON'T KNOW...HAPPY,

AND MAYBE I DID GO OUT OF MY WAY

TO MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT.

WELL, DID YOU EVER TELL THAT TO HER?

NO. NO, LOOK, JUST-- JUST FORGET IT, OK.

I'M JUST A KID, RIGHT? JUST--JUST--

I NEVER DID TELL HER THAT.

NEVER.

MAYBE I COULD IF WE WERE TRAPPED SOMEWHERE

LIKE A DESERT ISLAND.

NEW YORK'S AN ISLAND.

SO, HALLIE,

I BET YOU WANT TO BE A BALLERINA

WHEN YOU GROW UP, HUH?

I NEVER SAID THAT.

IT'S EVERY LITTLE GIRL'S DREAM, RIGHT?

WHAT IF I'M FAT? WHAT IF MY HEAD'S TOO BIG?

IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE.

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

I KNOW WHAT I WANT.

HONEY, I THINK TONY'S JUST MAKING CONVERSATION.

WAIT TILL I'M IN THIRD GRADE,

THEN I'LL PICK A CAREER.

OK, WHO WANTS A GINGER ALE?

HALLIE, WANT SOME GINGER ALE?

OH, I DON'T CARE.

COME ON, LET'S SIT DOWN.

YOU KNOW, TONY JUST WANTS TO BE

YOUR FRIEND.

I HAVE FRIENDS.

I KNOW, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT, HALLIE.

HE'S MY FRIEND.

HE WANTS YOU TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO GET TO--

HE KEEPS STARING AT ME.

HE GOES, "ISN'T THIS MARVELOUS?"

"ISN'T THIS MARVELOUS?"

LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THIS CUTE STUFF

'CAUSE IT'S MARVELOUS AND--

DO YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, MOMMY?

LIKE, A WHOLE LOT?

OK, 3 GINGER ALES.

THANKS.

ONE FOR YOU, CATH, ONE FOR ME,

AND ONE FOR HALLIE, WITH A CHERRY IN IT.

SO IT'S AN OFFICIAL SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

MOM.

HMM?

I FEEL NAUSEOUS.

NAUSEATED. THAT'S THE CORRECT WORD

FOR THE SITUATION--

NAUSEATED.

YOU KNOW, YOU DO FEEL WARM.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

COME ON.

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS WHAT I HAD BACK THEN ♪

♪ WHEN TIME WAS MY FRIEND ♪

♪ AND LOVE DIDN'T END ♪

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS WHAT I HAD WITH YOU

♪ IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

♪ CAN DREAMS STILL COME TRUE? ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME ♪

♪ WITH COMPROMISE

♪ YOU CAN SEE THE WORLD ♪

♪ FROM MY POINT OF VIEW ♪

HI, HALLIE.

♪ IT'S ALL UP TO YOU

♪ ALL I WANT IS THE PROMISE YOU'LL STAY ♪

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS ONE MORE YESTERDAY

♪ NO, I DON'T MEAN TO OVERSIMPLIFY ♪

♪ BUT I CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE ♪

DESERT ISLAND.

♪ HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS ♪

[HUMMING]

ETHAN! TIME TO FEED THE CHICKENS!

OH, GOSH.

THE CHICKENS, HUH?

OH, WHAT'S UP FOR TODAY,

MORE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING?

NO, NOT TODAY.

TODAY I GOT TO GO FIX A MISTAKE.

OH, FIX A MISTAKE, YES.

FIX A MISTAKE?

HI.

WHERE TO?

UH, WEST SIDE, PLEASE.

HI, MERRY CHRISTMAS. HAPPY HANUKKAH.

SAME TO YOU, SWEETHEART.

HERE YOU GO.

WATCH YOUR HEAD.

TAXI!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

THANKS.

HEY, HALLIETOSIS! WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES.

HALLIE!

OH, SHE WENT OUT ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO.

SAID SHE HAD TO FIX A MISTAKE.

OH, NO!

SUCKER?

EXCUSE ME. CAN I CUT IN?

I WON'T TAKE LONG.

I JUST HAVE TO FIX THIS MISTAKE I MADE.

HAVE CUTS FOR A DOLLAR.

FORGET IT.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. HAPPY HANUKKAH.

DON'T FORGET TO TELL SANTA

WHAT A CREEP YOU ARE.

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.

HA HA HA HA.

OH, YOU'RE BACK.

I'M BACK.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT SOMETHING EASY, WOULD YOU,

LIKE A NICE DOLL?

I HAVE DOLLS YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.

CAN I USE THE LAP?

SURE.

OK,

NOW WE REALLY GOT TO TALK.

EXCUSE ME!

EXCUSE ME! GOT TO GET THROUGH!

GOT TO GET THROUGH! EXCUSE ME!

EXCUSE ME!

THANKS A LOT.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

OF COURSE YOU REALIZE

IT'S LATE IN THE SEASON FOR SUCH A BIG ORDER?

BUT I KNOW YOU'LL DO IT. YOU HAVE TO.

HALLIE, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

OH, AND ONE MORE THING.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. HO HO HO.

ETHAN, THAT WAS EMBARRASSING.

HALLIE, DO YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?

WELL, I'M NOT. I'M NOT KIDDING, OK?

YOU CAN'T GO OFF ALONE IN THIS CITY!

YOU GOT TO PROMISE ME THAT!

DO YOU HEAR ME?

ETHAN, STOP SHAKING ME.

LOOK, DON'T EVER DO THIS.

YOU'VE GOT TO PROMISE ME THAT.

I HAD TO SEE HIM. THIS IS SPECIAL.

NOT ALL MOMS AND DADS SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER,

BUT OURS SHOULD.

IT'S CHRISTMAS, AND HE'S SANTA,

AND I JUST HAD TO SEE HIM, ETHAN.

IT'S OK.

I KNOW YOU DID, HALLIE.

OPERATION DESERT ISLAND.

THIS WEEK, I CAN TALK ABOUT WOMEN'S TENNIS,

SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR, OR NAZI HUNTERS.

YOU CAN PICK THE TOPIC, ETHAN.

ETHAN, WE HAVE TO TALK WHILE WE DANCE.

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

ANYWAY, OK, SO, NAZI HUNTERS.

DID YOU KNOW SEVERAL FORMER NAZI LEADERS

ARE STILL AT LARGE?

SOME MAY EVEN BE IN NEW YORK--

AT THE OYSTER BAR OR ON THE I.R.T.

OR EVEN IN THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

YOU KNOW WHO I HEARD LIKES YOU?

GOD, WHO?

KEVIN MARS, AND HE'S REALLY INTO NAZIS.

GOD, REALLY?

KEVIN, ETHAN TOLD ME WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE.

WELL, I DIDN'T GO BACK TO BOSTON YET,

SO I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY

AND SEE IF YOUR COTILLION IS AS BAD AS MINE WAS.

WORSE.

YEAH, WELL, I THINK WE BETTER START DANCING.

OH, SO I SEE WE'RE DOING THE EVER POPULAR FOX TROT.

YEAH, IT'S GOT SOME GREAT STEPS.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO

GET US OUT OF HERE.

SO THEN THEY SAID THEY FOUND

MENGELE'S SKULL AND EVERYTHING,

BUT I'M NOT CONVINCED.

HE COULD BE RIGHT HERE AT THIS VERY COTILLION.

YOU NEVER KNOW.

NOW YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK?

YOU KNOW, THE FOX TROT CAN BE VERY USEFUL.

I USE IT CONSTANTLY ON THE SUBWAY.

I DANCE A LOT ON THE SUBWAY.

I'M JUST KIDDING. I DON'T DANCE ON THE SUBWAY.

NOT THAT I WOULDN'T. IT JUST HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

WHO KNOWS? MAYBE YOU WILL.

YEAH, RIGHT, WHO KNOWS?

IT'S SO GREAT THAT YOU'RE HERE

'CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

FOLLOW ME.

HEY, HEY! YOU WITH SOMEBODY OR WHAT?

YEAH, UM...

THAT'S RIGHT. HAVE A GOOD TIME.

EVERYONE, PLEASE JOIN OUR BRIDE AND GROOM

ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

COME ON, EVERYONE.

AND YOU REALLY THINK

YOU CAN GET THEM BACK TOGETHER BY CHRISTMAS?

ETHAN, THAT'S 3 DAYS AWAY.

SEE, ALL I CAN DO, IF I'M LUCKY,

IS THE DESERT ISLAND PART

AND HOPE THEY DO THE RIGHT THING.

NOW, MAYBE I'M CRAZY, BUT AT LEAST HALLIE

WILL HAVE ONE MORE CHRISTMAS MORNING WITH THEM.

NOW, IT'S NOT WHAT SHE ASKED SANTA CLAUS FOR,

BUT THIS IS NEW YORK.

YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN, RIGHT?

OK, SO HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN. NOW--

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AT THIS TIME,

PLEASE JOIN THE BRIDE AND GROOM

IN THE CUTTING OF THE CAKE.

[DRUM ROLL]

COME ON, YOU GOT TO ADMIT

IT'S A VERY COOL PLAN.

YOU'RE CRAZY. YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT SEEING A SHRINK.

YEAH, WELL,

MY DAD DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SHRINKS.

YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

WELL, IT'S EITHER ME OR SANTA CLAUS,

AND I'M NOT A BELIEVER.

OK. TARANTELLA TIME.

EVERYONE ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

VOLARE! VOLARE!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HELLO, BOYS. HELLO THERE, PRINCESS.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE-- A PUPPY DOG?

A GOLDFISH?

WE WANT RODENTS.

YEAH, 8, PLEASE.

PLEASE, DON'T TAP THE CAGE.

THAT'S A VERY TENSE HAMSTER.

NOW, RATS OR MICE?

MY MEDIUM-SIZED RATS ARE ON SPECIAL.

IF YOU BUY 8, YOU GET ONE FREE.

MICE.

MICE. CERTAINLY MICE.

WILL YOU PUT THEM IN THIS BOX?

OK.

ALL RIGHT, AND...

ONE--AND ONE AND 2.

AND...

GET OVER HERE.

AND 3.

EXCUSE ME. UM, IS THIS RABBIT DEAD?

NO, HE'S JUST RESTING.

NOT THAT ONE. IT'S DEFORMED.

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

YEAH, HE'S REALLY CUTE. HE'S THE CUTEST ONE.

AND THAT WILL MAKE 8.

YEAH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

RIGHT THIS WAY. ALL RIGHT.

OK, SO HOW MUCH IS THAT, PLEASE?

THAT'S 8 MICE AT 2 BUCKS APIECE.

THAT EQUALS, UH--

16.

PLUS, YOU'LL NEED TREATS AND BEDDING

AND RATSKY WASKY--

A, UH, POPULAR VERMIN TOY--

PLUS, THIS NOVELTY ITEM--

MY OWN IDEA--

A RODENT'S SALAD BAR.

I HOLD THE PATENT.

UM...

WE'RE OUT OF MONEY.

ASK MARSHALL.

HEY, MARSH?

YEAH, WHAT?

WON'T YOU COME IN?

I'M CATHERINE.

OH, YOU MUST BE THE BRIDE.

TONY HAS ME PLAN ALL HIS SPECIAL EVENTS.

AND HE EXPECTS THIS ONE TO BE EXCEPTIONAL.

GREAT!

PERFECT. OK.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ENCHANTING

TO HAVE BRIDESMAIDS IN JODHPURS,

WITH LITTLE RIDING CROPS

FESTOONED WITH BABY'S BREATH.

THAT COULD BE ENCHANTING...

IN A STABLE.

SEE THIS ONE? HE'S THE BEST.

I EVEN THOUGHT OF HIS NAME.

SINCE HE'S WHITE AND IT'S WINTER,

HE'S SNOWBALL, AND HE'S MINE.

HE'LL COME THROUGH, YOU JUST WAIT.

Catherine: SYLVIA, THIS IS MY SECOND MARRIAGE,

AND I WAS JUST THINKING OF KEEPING IT SIMPLE.

AH-CHOO!

EXCUSE ME.

WELL, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT LATER.

LET'S GET ON WITH THE GUESTS.

THERE'S TONY'S 600.

600?

600 WHAT?

WHERE DID HE GET THAT IDEA?

GO THAT WAY! GO! GO!

I WAS THINKING

OF JUST A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS.

COME ON.

I'M GOING FOR A SMALL WALK.

YOU WOULD LIKE TO, MAYBE, COME ALONG?

UM...YOU KNOW WHAT?

I, UH, I, UM, I JUST HURT MY BACK.

I SHOULDN'T GO FOR A WALK RIGHT NOW.

ME, TOO.

I BE BACK SOON.

YOU SHOULDN'T GO, EITHER.

I MEAN, YOUR BABY.

YOUR BABY, IT'S COLD.

COME ON, SNOWBALL.

COME ON. COME TO MOMMY.

OH, MAN! THIS IS GREAT.

THERE'S ONE.

AH, DANG! I MISSED IT.

COME ON.

WELL, WHY DON'T WE SET A LIMIT OF 500--

VERY QUIET, VERY SWEET, VERY VICTORIANA?

I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS 500 PEOPLE.

[SIGHS]

IT'S OK, ETHAN.

YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU'RE A GENIUS.

YOU ALMOST GOT SKIPPED ONCE.

WELL, TONY IS A VERY ESTEEMED FIGURE

IN THE WALL STREET COMMUNITY,

AND HE JUST ASSUMED THAT--

YES, WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT,

PERHAPS THIS TIME,

TONY HAS ASSUMED TOO MUCH.

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT SNOW--

AAH!

BALL!

SNOWBALL.

[DETECTORS CLICKING]

MISS BROOKS, THE HOTEL CAN TAKE US.

THEY WERE BOOKED, BUT I SAID IT WAS FOR YOU.

GOOD. JUST PACK ENOUGH FOR TONIGHT.

YES, MA'AM.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HELLO, LIL.

UGH!

YOU'RE LOOKING PARTICULARLY--

WE'VE GOT RATS.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT VERMIN,

WOULD YOU?

YEAH, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A CAR

IN A TOW-AWAY ZONE.

I THINK IT'S ABANDONED.

BEEN THERE LONG?

YEAH, FOR 3 DAYS.

WHERE IS IT, PLEASE?

ON 12th-- IN FRONT OF THE DINER.

WHAT KIND OF CAR?

BLACK BMW.

OK, ABOUT AN HOUR.

IN ABOUT AN HOUR? PERFECT. OK, THANKS.

THAT'S REALLY STRANGE-- MICE IN MOTHER'S HOUSE.

BUT I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE MORE STEP

IN THE TOTAL COLLAPSE OF NEW YORK. ANYWAY,

WE HAVE TO MOVE OUT FOR THE NIGHT.

COULD I STAY WITH YOU?

WELL, SURE.

YEAH?

CHARLES AND I PLAN ON MAKING THE ROUNDS TONIGHT.

STEPHANIE WILL BE HERE, THOUGH.

WELL, NO, IT'S FINE.

OK, I'LL CALL YOU LATER. BYE-BYE.

CATHERINE HAS MICE.

OH, REALLY?

YES!

HELLO?

HEY, MARSH, IT'S ME.

I CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO.

JUST CALL ME BACK, PLEASE.

UM...ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

SHUT UP AND GET A RAG, WILL YOU?

STOP MOANING, ALREADY!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

IT'S FOR ME! IT'S FOR ME!

I MEAN, I ASSUME IT IS.

HELLO?

OH, IT IS.

THE PHONE-- IT'S FOR ME.

HI, MARSHALL.

SHE DRANK A WHOLE BOWL OF EGGNOG.

LOOK, O'FALLON, I CAME THROUGH.

BUT MY GRANDMOTHER'S PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR--

REALLY? THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S REALLY, REALLY GREAT.

NICE, VERNON. REAL NICE.

SHUT UP AND HELP!

UM, GREAT. I GOT TO GO.

WE'RE GOING TO REVIVE MY GRANDMOTHER

AND THEN OPEN PRESENTS.

GEE, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

UM, I'LL ASK MY MOM IF IT'S OK.

GREAT. NOW YOU OWE ME A FAVOR.

AFTER WE GET YOUR PARENTS BACK TOGETHER,

HELP ME SPLIT UP MINE! GOT TO GO.

OK, YOU GOT IT.

HOLD ON.

HEY, MOM?

YEAH?

MARSHALL WANTS TO KNOW,

CAN I STAY AT HIS HOUSE TONIGHT?

ETHAN, IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

DON'T YOU WANT TO SPEND IT WITH YOUR FATHER?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M AFRAID IT WILL GET

SORT OF SAD, YOU KNOW,

SINCE WE'RE NOT ALL, YOU KNOW...

OH, LOOK,

HOW ABOUT THIS?

TONY AND I CAN SKIP THIS PARTY.

YOU AND HALLIE AND TONY AND I

CAN GO OUT SOMEWHERE TONIGHT.

[COUGH, COUGH] I THINK I HAVE A COUGH.

I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR PLANS, MOM.

JUST GO OUT AND HAVE FUN.

THE KIDS SHOULD DO WHAT THEY WANT, CATH.

I MEAN, IT IS CHRISTMAS.

I THINK TONY'S RIGHT, MOM.

ME, TOO.

AND MAYBE TONY COULD DROP ME OFF

AT MARSHALL'S.

IF YOU DO THAT, I CAN CHANGE AT SUSAN'S.

AND I'LL TAKE HALLIE TO HER FATHER'S.

THIS IS WORKING OUT PERFECTLY.

SO FAR.

TONY, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

YES, HALLIE, WHAT IS IT?

I WANT YOU TO SAY HI TO SNOWBALL.

AND WHO'S SNOWBALL?

THIS FRIEND OF MINE.

AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE SNOWBALL.

NO, YOU CAN SEE HIM, TOO. HERE.

HALLIE, GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!

SEE? SNOWBALL'S RIGHT.

HE THINKS YOU HATE HIM.

I DON'T HATE HIM. I JUST--

TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM.

I LIKE YOU, SNOWBALL.

NOW PUT IT AWAY.

YOU HAVE TO SAY IT LOUDER. HE HAS TINY, TINY EARS.

SNOWBALL, I LIKE YOU!

HE THINKS YOU'RE LYING.

I'M NOT LY-- SNOWBALL, I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

OK, HERE WE ARE.

AH... LET'S GO, HALLIE. COME ON.

HEY, TONY, YOU WANT ME TO BRING HER IN

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY SEE MY DAD?

ETHAN, I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT...

I THINK IT'S KIND OF WEIRD WITH HALLIE--

YOU KNOW, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, WITH 2 FATHER FIGURES.

WHATEVER. DO WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE.

THANKS. UH, COME ON, HALLIE. LET'S GO.

DON'T SLAM THE...

DOOR.

OK, SO YOU GOT THE MOUSE?

NOW LET IT GO AND START TO SCREAM.

[MOUSE SQUEAKS]

I CAN'T DO IT, ETHAN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU'VE GOT TO!

BUT I'LL LOSE HIM. HE'LL BE GONE.

LOOK, HALLIE,

SNOWBALL IS A MOUSE.

I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM, BUT HE'S A MOUSE.

THIS IS FOR US, HALLIE.

IF YOU LET HIM GO, I'LL BUY YOU A MILLION MICE.

COME ON. I PROMISE YOU THAT.

YOU TRUST ME, DON'T YOU?

YOU'RE MY BROTHER.

[MOUSE SQUEAKS]

OK, PUT HIM DOWN.

GOODBYE, SNOWBALL.

NOW SCREAM.

SNOWBALL! SNOWBALL!

SNOWBALL! SNOWBALL!

SNOWBALL! SNOWBALL!

WHAT? WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T KNOW.

SNOWBALL, HER MOUSE, HE GOT AWAY.

QUIET, QUIET. I'LL FIND HIM.

THERE IT IS.

HE JUST WENT INSIDE THE TRUCK.

INSIDE THE TRUCK?

THERE IT IS. IN THE TRUCK.

RIGHT IN THE CORNER, SEE IT?

THAT LITTLE WHITE THING.

IN THE BACK?

YEAH, HE'S IN THE BACK.

HEY! HEY! OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!

ETHAN, HALLIE-- IMMEDIATELY!

OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!

HEY, KIDS. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, UNCLE FRANKIE!

FROM YOUR UNCLE FRANKIE.

THANKS! THANKS!

OPEN THIS DOOR!

OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!

YEAH...

OK, NOW, THE NEXT STEP--

TELL ME AGAIN.

7:15.

AND WHERE AM I?

MARSHALL'S. ETHAN, THIS IS INSULTING.

I HAVE AN EXCELLENT MEMORY.

YEAH, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE PERFECT.

NOW WHAT DID TONY DO?

DROPPED ME OFF OUTSIDE. NOW CAN I GO?

YEAH.

YEAH, THIS IS IT!

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT JERK?

WHO, DAD?

TONY, BABY.

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DROP YOU OFF OUTSIDE.

HE COULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU UPSTAIRS.

DID I SAY THAT ETHAN WAS AT MARSHALL'S?

YEAH, ABOUT 6 TIMES, PLUS IT'S ON THE NEWS.

WHAT'S THAT?

A SUIT. YOU LOOK REALLY HANDSOME IN SUITS.

A SUIT, HUH?

I DON'T WEAR SUITS MUCH ANYMORE.

THAT'S KIND OF WHY I GOT THE DINER,

SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WEAR THEM.

COME ON.

I'LL PUT ON A PARTY DRESS,

AND WE'LL PRETEND

WE'RE IN THIS REALLY NICE RESTAURANT...ON PLUTO--

MY FAVORITE PLANET.

PLUTO, HUH?

WE'RE HAVING CHINESE FOOD.

I DON'T KNOW

IF THEY DELIVER CHINESE TO PLUTO.

YEAH, THEY DO. IT'S ON THE MENU.

COME ON, DAD. IT'LL BE FUN.

YOU GO PUT THAT ON, AND I'LL GET DRESSED.

OK.

OH, AND WEAR THE BURGUNDY TIE.

BURGUNDY?

OK, HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK GREAT, MOM.

THANKS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED TO TONY.

WHAT TIME IS IT, SWEETIE?

ABOUT 7:15...

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

EXACTLY. I GOT IT.

SHE'S REALLY GROWN UP, SUSAN.

HELLO? OH, YEAH. SHE IS.

JUST A MINUTE.

IT'S MR. O'FALLON.

THANKS.

MICHAEL?

YEAH. IT'S HALLIE, SLICK.

WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.

SHE WAS FEELING FINE, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN...

SHE'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR ABOUT HALF AN HOUR.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HALLIE, HOW YOU DOING IN THERE?

TERRIBLE.

[MOANS]

[WATER SPLASHES]

IS MOMMY COMING?

SHE'LL BE RIGHT HERE, SWEETHEART.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE SOLD ALL THOSE TURKEY DINNERS.

I GOT YOU A PRESENT, JEFF.

IT'S A BOOK

ABOUT THE LAST DAYS OF ELVIS.

IT INCLUDES A CASSETTE

OF HIS LAST PHONE CONVERSATION

BEFORE HE DIED.

GEE, THANKS, SONYA.

ISN'T THAT GREAT?

YOU WANT TO COME OVER?

I'VE GOT THE ELVIS CHRISTMAS ALBUM.

OH, YEAH? YOU GOT ANY MISTLETOE?

TONS OF IT.

[SONYA LAUGHS]

I HOPE EVERYTHING'S OK, HONEY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OK, BYE.

WAY TO GO, HAL.

YES.

[DISTANT KNOCK ON DOOR]

WOW, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

SO DO YOU.

OH, YEAH. IT WAS HALLIE'S IDEA.

SHE'S IN HER BEDROOM.

UH...TONY'S NOT WITH YOU?

NO.

OH.

I wonder where he is.

HEY!

♪ OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE ♪

LET ME OUT OF HERE!

♪ IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪

♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,

JINGLE... ♪

I THINK SHE'S OK.

HONEY, ARE YOU AWAKE?

SHE'S DREAMING.

SHE'S LIKE YOU WHEN SHE SLEEPS--

STRANGE TURNS...

SHE DREAMS.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO?

HELLO. MRS. O'FALLON, PLEASE.

YEAH, JUST A MINUTE.

HELLO?

MRS. O'FALLON? IT'S STEPHANIE.

I JUST GOT A CALL FROM MR. BORE.

BOER.

MR. BOER. YES.

HE HAD AN EMERGENCY COME UP.

AN EMERGENCY? WHAT KIND? IS HE ALL RIGHT?

HE'S FINE. HE'S FINE.

HE SAID FOR YOU TO GO ON TO THE PLAZA

AND TRY TO HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.

REALLY? HE SAID THAT?

UM...

NO, STEPHANIE. I'LL COME BACK TO YOUR PLACE.

THANKS. BYE.

I'VE BEEN STOOD UP.

OH...

THIS HAS BEEN THE STRANGEST DAY.

THIS IS GREAT.

THEY'RE UP THERE EATING MUSHU PORK,

AND I'M FREEZING TO DEATH DOWN HERE.

IF THIS WORKS, I'M A HERO.

BUT IF IT DOESN'T...

MAYBE SANTA CLAUS

WILL BRING ME SOME NICE STRIPED PJS

FOR JUVENILE HALL.

HEY, YOU HERE FOR A PICKUP?

YEAH. CATHERINE O'FALLON.

OH, YEAH.

SORRY, SHE CHANGED HER MIND.

CHANGED HER MIND?

WELL, I GOT TO HEAR FROM

THE LADY HERSELF.

I'M CATHERINE.

SOMETHING'S COME UP. IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

HERE. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HI.

HI. HOW YOU DOING?

CAN WE GET IN?

NOW THEY DON'T EVEN PICK UP.

I GUESS I SHOULD GO.

I MEAN,

MAYBE I'LL FIND A TAXI CRUISING.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT BLIZZARD?

GOD, IT'S LATE. I REALLY SHOULD GO.

YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH HALLIE.

TOO PREGNANT. SHE WAS LATE.

YEAH. 4 DAYS.

5.

IT JUST SNOWED AND SNOWED.

YOU RENTED LUCY STOMPING ON THE GRAPES.

YOU READ ME FRANNY.

YOU READ ME ZOOEY...

AND THEN HALLIE.

I HAVE TO GO.

OR STAY.

Yes.

THERE'S A BLIZZARD OUT THERE,

IT'S CHRISTMAS--

YOU'LL NEVER GET A CAB.

I CAN GO DOWNSTAIRS

AND MAKE YOU A BURGER AND FRIES.

NO. I'M NOT HUNGRY.

AND I--I...

NO, I REALLY SHOULDN'T STAY.

Please, please, please.

BUT I WILL...

Yes!

STAY WITH HALLIE...

[Gasp]

SLEEP WITH HER.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU HAVE AN EXTRA NIGHTGOWN?

I'LL GET YOU A SHIRT.

WHAT?

I'VE BEEN SCREWING UP

WITH THESE KIDS LATELY.

NO. DON'T SAY THAT.

YOU'RE A GOOD FATHER.

REALLY?

SO HOW'S THE FOOD?

MMM. IT'S DELICIOUS.

WELL, I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY BOUGHT YOU A MEAL YET.

DON'T--DON'T WORRY.

THIS IS BETTER.

WHAT IS?

TONIGHT...ALL OF IT.

I WASN'T EXPECTING AN ADVENTURE

THIS CHRISTMAS.

I WAS JUST EXPECTING TO BE DEPRESSED.

IS THERE ANY KETCHUP?

OH, YEAH. IT'S, UM, IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

MORE KETCHUP.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU GOT 2 BOTTLES OF KETCHUP

AND THEY'RE BOTH HALF-FULL,

AND YOU EMPTY ONE INTO THE OTHER,

IT'S CALLED MARRYING THE KETCHUP.

THAT'S DINER TALK,

"MARRYING THE KETCHUP" AND EVERYTHING.

BUT, UM...

UNFORTUNATELY,

MOST KETCHUP MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE.

YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY, ETHAN.

DO YOU KNOW THAT?

NO...NO, I DIDN'T.

I MEAN, NOW I DO,

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU JUST TOLD ME,

BUT BEFORE THAT, NO.

YOU'RE NOT EATING YOUR BURGER.

OH, YEAH.

SO, HAS THIS REALLY BEEN AN ADVENTURE FOR YOU?

MM-HMM.

MY FAVORITE...EVER.

THAT'S GOOD.

I MEAN, THAT'S GREAT,

'CAUSE THIS IS MINE, TOO.

EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T KNOW THE END YET.

NOT THAT I'M SAYING I WANT IT TO END,

BUT IT HAS TO, RIGHT?

SO YOU EVER BEEN UP THIS LATE CHRISTMAS EVE?

NO.

ME, NEITHER.

Oh, wonderful.

OH!

This is wonderful.

This is a very merry Christmas.

Ethan: THERE'S A DOG AND A CAT

ON TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

THE CAT GOES, "MEOW."

HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

HEY.

YOU ATE WITHOUT ME.

THAT'S OK, I GOT SOME MORE STUFF FOR YOU.

SO HOW'S IT LOOK?

THEY'RE SLEEPING...

ON THE SAME COUCH.

IT'S LOOKING GOOD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT'S GREAT!

WE DID IT!

GIVE ME FIVE!

WHO WANTS TO GO PLAY IN THE SNOW?

I DO.I DO.

GO, GO, GO, GO!

YAY! WHOO!

[YELLING AND LAUGHING]

Hallie: IT'S SNOWING!

[SLEIGH BELLS JINGLE]

DID YOU SEE-- HA HA!

Ethan: WHO WANTS COCOA?

I DO! I DO! YEAH! YES!

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.

IS HALLIE UP?

NOT YET.

HI.

HI.

WAS I HAVING A DREAM?

YEAH, I WAS.

HI.

YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS?

NO.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MICHAEL? YEAH?

HALLIE!

SHE'S NOT HERE. SHE'S NOT UPSTAIRS.

SHE'S NOT IN HER ROOM. SHE IS NOT HERE.

WHAT?

ETHAN--HE'S AT MARSHALL'S.

I'M GOING TO CALL HIM.

SHE WAS IN HER ROOM LAST NIGHT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE ARE ALL THESE PIECES,

AND THEY DON'T FIT TOGETHER,

BUT THEY DO FIT TOGETHER.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

MARSHALL, IT'S MRS. O'FALLON.

I NEED TO SPEAK TO ETHAN RIGHT AWAY.

UH, ETHAN, YOUR SON?

THAT SPECIFIC ETHAN?

YES. IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

UM...OK, JUST A SECOND.

MARSHALL?

UM, UH...I CAN'T FIND HIM RIGHT NOW.

GIVE ME THE PHONE.

MARSHALL, WHERE THE HECK IS ETHAN?

JUST A SECOND.

HE'S NOT HERE. HE NEVER WAS,

BUT HE MADE ME PRETEND HE WAS,

BUT HE NEVER WAS.

MR. O'FALLON, ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?

I'M AFRAID WE ARE. WHERE IS HE?

I JUST DON'T KNOW, MR. O'FALLON.

I GOT TO GO.

[RING]

HELLO?

CATHERINE, IT'S ME.

TONY, WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M IN NEW JERSEY!

MITTENS.

YEAH, AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF SELLING THEM.

THEY WERE EXPENSIVE.

DON'T POUT. I'VE GOT MORE STUFF AT NANA'S.

YOU DO? LIKE WHAT?

TELL ME.

IS IT BOOKS? IS IT MOSAICS?

IT IS.

HALLIE. HALLIE.

YO, HALLIE.

WHAT?

LOOK.

I KNEW IT. THE MICE. THE PHONES.

HEY, LOOK.

IT'S MOM AND DAD.

TONY'S IN NEW JERSEY,

AND GOD KNOWS WHERE THE CHILDREN ARE.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE?

HOW WOULD I KNOW?

YOU THINK I PLANNED THIS?

I'M COMING.

GOING TO THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

OH, NO.

IT'S ON THE FAN.

NO.

NO, IT'S HIT THE FAN, HALLIE.

IT'S HIT THE FAN.

OK, HIT THE FAN.

NOW WHAT?

WE GOT TO GET HOME.

WE GOT TO GET HOME.

I KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS.

I KNOW YOU'RE THE SERVICE,

BUT I'VE JUST RETURNED

FROM AN EXPENSIVE NIGHT AT THE CARLYLE

TO FIND A $1,200 BILL

FROM YOUR RODENT BRANCH OF MURDER, INCORPORATED

AND NO RATS.

YOU WANT THE BODIES?

NO, I DON'T WANT THE ACTUAL RAT BODIES.

I WANT PROOF THAT SOMETHING'S BEEN FOUND

OTHER THAN A GRADE "A" SUCKER.

MRS. BROOKS.

MRS...

HOLD ON A MINUTE.

NO. NO, PLEASE. PLEASE.

I--I MUST NOT BE

CREATING A NUISANCE, LILLIAN.

PLEASE. NO PROBLEM.

BUT BABY COMES.

YES. NO.

RIGHT NOW.

BUT I DON'T--

NO. NO.

DON'T WORRY. NO PROBLEM.

I WON'T.

OH, MY GOD.

HAVE YOU CALLED THE PARAMEDICS?

THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.

OLIVIA, DON'T WORRY.

MOM, ARE THE KIDS HERE?

I DON'T THINK SO. I DON'T KNOW.

WE JUST GOT IN.

ARE THEY MISSING?

HALLIE.

ETHAN.

ETHAN.

WAIT. WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?

AND IT BETTER BE GOOD.

I KNOW. IT WILL BE.

I'LL TELL THE TRUTH.

[SIREN]

OK. THIS IS THE PLACE.

LET'S GO.

YOU GOT THE OXYGEN TANK?

YEAH, I GOT IT.

[AMBULANCE RADIO]

I THINK WE SHOULD WAIT ONE MORE SECOND.

YOU KNOW, SO I CAN DECIDE

WHAT THE TRUTH'S GONNA BE.

I'M CALLING SUSAN. SOMETHING TELLS ME

STEPHANIE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING

TO DO WITH THIS.

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

WE THINK SO.

LET'S GO.

ARE YOU LILLIAN BROOKS?

YES, I'M THELILLIAN BROOKS.

YEAH, AND I'M THELUIS HERNANDEZ.

COME WITH ME.

UH, SUSAN, NO, I'M SURE THEY'RE OK,

BUT WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER

AND WAIT WITH US?

OK, NOW, THIS WAS MY IDEA,

THIS WAS ALL MY FAULT,

AND YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

NOW, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S POLICE...

MY GOD. WE'RE IN TROUBLE, GUYS.

HELLO.

ANYBODY HOME?

MY GOD. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WE'VE BEEN SO WORRIED.

HI, MOM.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YOU OK?

YEAH.

STARVED, BUT OK.

WELL, OLIVIA'S

HAVING HER BABY IN THE KITCHEN,

BUT--

SHE IS?

CAN I TAKE PICTURES, PLEASE?

THIS COULD BE A GREAT SCIENCE PROJECT.

MAYBE I'LL GET SKIPPED.

WAIT A MINUTE, GLAMOUR GIRL. COME HERE.

YOU, TOO, BUB. COME HERE.

MAYBE I SHOULD CALL MY MOM.

SHE'S ON HER WAY OVER. SHE'S BEEN WORRIED.

SHE HAS, REALLY?

WELL, OF COURSE.

WE'RE ALL GLAD THAT YOU'RE OK.

NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT EVERYBODY'S OK...

WHO WANTS TO EXPLAIN FIRST?

ETHAN.

COME ON, BUB.

THIS IS GREAT.

RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE.

STOP. STOP.

OK. OK.

GIVE ME MY CHANGE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YOU SEE, IT'S KIND OF HARD

TO KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

THERE YOU ARE!

YOU SEE WHAT BRATS YOU HAVE FOR KIDS.

I CANNOT STAND THEM, AND I NEVER COULD.

I HAVE A LITTLE CHRISTMAS ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

THE MINUTE WE'RE MARRIED,

THOSE KIDS ARE GOING TO LEARN SOME RESPECT...

AH-CHOO!

AND SOME DISCIPLINE.

JUST WAIT A MINUTE, TONY.

THESE ARE OUR CHILDREN, NOT YOURS.

ARE YOU SIDING WITH HIM NOW?

TONY, IT'S CHRISTMAS,

AND CHRISTMAS IS FOR FAMILIES.

AND WE'RE NOT ONE--

YOU AND I AND MY CHILDREN--

AND WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE, SO--

OH, GREAT. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S FINE.

OH, TONY.

TONY.

TONY, YOU MUSTN'T BLAME YOURSELF.

HOLIDAYS CAN BE FAIRLY BLOODY.

I THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THE DOOR IS.

AH-CHOO!

NOW WE KNOW ALL THE RATS ARE GONE.

AH-CHOO!

STEPHANIE.

STEPHANIE.

YOU'RE CRYING.

AHEM.

OK.

I GUESS IT'S MY TURN...

TO EXPLAIN.

I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S MY TURN

TO TRY TO EXPLAIN,

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

AND WHEN I DO KNOW, WHICH MAY BE NEVER,

I DON'T THINK IT'LL COME OUT RIGHT.

IF YOU FOLLOW ME, WHICH YOU PROBABLY DON'T,

BECAUSE I DON'T... FOLLOW ME.

SEE,

ALL I KNOW IS,

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED US.

I MEAN,

IT'S BEEN GREAT BEING HERE WITH NANA.

SEE, I KNOW HOW LUCKY I AM.

I HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME

AND PEOPLE WHO I LOVE.

AND I JUST WANTED IT TO BE US AGAIN.

AND HALLIE WANTED IT, TOO.

SO SHE ASKED SANTA CLAUS FOR IT,

EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER NOT TO.

I DIDN'T WANT HER TO BE LET DOWN,

BECAUSE SHE'S JUST A KID.

I DON'T MEAN THAT AS AN INSULT, HAL.

I'M NOT INSULTED.

BUT YOU ARE JUST A KID.

SO I TRIED TO HELP THINGS ALONG

WITH THE MICE, THE PHONE CALLS,

THE ICE CREAM TRUCKS.

AND I DIDN'T DO IT JUST FOR HALLIE.

I DID IT FOR ME, TOO.

NOW MAYBE THAT'S SELFISH,

BUT I HAD TO AT LEAST TRY,

WHICH I LEARNED FROM YOU, DAD.

YOU CAN DREAM ABOUT THINGS

AND THEY MAY NOT TURN OUT,

BUT YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY.

AND WHEN YOU SAID

THAT IF YOU COULD

JUST GET MOM ON A DESERT ISLAND--

DID YOU SAY THAT?

WHY DID YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

WELL, SEE, BECAUSE WHEN YOU--

THAT'S OK, ETH.

YOU'VE DONE YOUR JOB.

GUESS THIS IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE

THE DESERT ISLAND.

UH, LISTEN, SLICK, UM...

I FIGURE I KIND OF WENT OUT OF MY WAY

TO MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT FOR YOU,

FOR ALL OF US.

I WAS TESTING YOU.

AND I FAILED.

IT WASN'T FAIR.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO DO THAT.

NO.

AND I'D LIKE TO TRY AGAIN.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY AGAIN?

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, SLICK.

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, TOO.

COME OVER HERE.

COME HERE.

OOH.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HALLIE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BABY.

NOW IT'S CHRISTMAS.

ALL RIGHT.

COME HERE, HOT SHOT.

HEY, OOH OOH OOH.

WAIT A MINUTE, ETHAN.

I'M WAITING TO HEAR

WHERE YOU WERE LAST NIGHT.

THAT I CAN EXPLAIN.

GOOD, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T AT MARSHALL'S,

YOU WEREN'T AT YOUR DAD'S HOUSE...

HA HA HA, HELLO.

SO, IT'S MY TOUGHEST CUSTOMER,

ISN'T IT? HA HA HA!

DO YOU KNOW

I'LL HAVE TO SPEND A WEEK IN BERMUDA

AFTER YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST?

YOU REMEMBER ME?

OF COURSE I REMEMBER YOU,

AND I'M GLAD IT SNOWED.

YOU KNOW,

I FEEL AWFULLY GUILTY WHEN IT DOESN'T SNOW.

SO, HOW IS EVERYTHING HERE?

AH, YOU KNOW, CHRISTMASY.

OHH, I ALMOST FORGOT.

SNOWBALL.

IS THAT REALLY SNOWBALL?

HEY, LITTLE GUY.

ETHAN.

YOUR FAMILY IS WAITING.

HA HA HA HA HA HA.

EVERYTHING OK?

I MEAN, WITH YOU AND YOUR MOM?

YEAH,

I THINK.

SO THANKS FOR THE BURGERS AND FRIES.

YEAH.

I NEVER DID GET TO BUY YOU THAT MEAL.

NEXT CHRISTMAS.

NOT TILL THEN?

I'LL GO GET US A CAB, HONEY.

OK.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ETHAN.

YEAH. YOU, TOO.

SO LET ME KNOW

IF YOU EVER FINISH THE DREAM.

I DID.

SEE, THERE WAS THIS BOY AND THIS GIRL

AND A LOT OF SNOW, ALL DIFFERENT COLORS.

SOUNDS NICE.

IT WAS.

AND SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM--

THE GIRL WITH THE BOY

IN THE SNOW.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ETHAN.

STEPHANIE.

COMING, MOM.

EVERYTHING OK, ETHAN?

THANK YOU, SANTA!

YEAH!

SEE, TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD'VE MADE A LIST.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 2004 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS WHAT I HAD BACK THEN ♪

♪ WHEN TIME WAS MY FRIEND

♪ AND LOVE DIDN'T END

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS WHAT I HAD WITH YOU ♪

♪ IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

♪ CAN DREAMS STILL COME TRUE? ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME

♪ WITH COMPROMISE

♪ YOU CAN SEE THE WORLD

♪ FROM MY POINT OF VIEW

♪ IT'S ALL UP TO YOU

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS THE PROMISE YOU'LL STAY ♪

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS ONE MORE YESTERDAY ♪

♪ NO, I DON'T MEAN TO OVERSIMPLIFY ♪

♪ BUT I CROSS MY HEART

♪ AND HOPE TO DIE

♪ HEY

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS EVERYTHING I LOST

♪ NO MATTER WHAT THE COST

♪ 'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY PAID ♪

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS A MEMORY OR TWO

♪ LIKE THE ONES I HAD WITH YOU ♪

♪ I CAN'T LET IT GO

♪ DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME

♪ WITH COMPROMISE

♪ YOU CAN SEE THE WORLD

♪ FROM MY POINT OF VIEW

♪ IT'S ALL UP TO YOU

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS THE PROMISE YOU'LL STAY ♪

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ IS ONE MORE YESTERDAY ♪

♪ NO, I DON'T MEAN TO OVERSIMPLIFY ♪

♪ BUT I CROSS MY HEART

♪ AND HOPE TO DIE

♪ ALL I WANT

♪ I MUST CONFESS

♪ IS TOGETHERNESS

♪ WITH JUST A LITTLE TENDERNESS ♪

♪ WITH JUST A LITTLE TENDERNESS ♪

[NEW SONG STARTS]

♪ DON'T

♪ DON'T

♪ FORGET

♪ FORGET

♪ THE LOVE

♪ THE LOVE

♪ UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE ♪

♪ TONIGHT

♪ TONIGHT

♪ GOOD LOVE

♪ GOOD LOVE

♪ UNDER THE TREE

♪ EVERYBODY AROUND THE WORLD ♪

♪ WHEREVER YOU MAY BE

♪ DON'T

♪ DON'T

♪ FORGET

♪ FORGET

♪ THE LOVE

♪ THE LOVE

♪ UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE ♪