Original subtitles

This is Wild Love, the dating show that harnesses the power of adrenaline

to help you fall in love harder...

This is insane!

- Oh, my God, that's a plane! - Shut the hell up.

And more intensely than ever.

Wild Love, baby!

Ten super-hot singles are about to push their love lives to the limit.

Whoa there, I know what you're all thinking.

Is that TV legend, Mario Lopez, on an airfield?

And more importantly, why is everyone wearing so many clothes?

The whole world and her grandma

has heard of Too Hot to Handle, Lana and her rules.

You must abstain from sexual practices.

So to attract another batch of clueless cuties...

I'm nervous, Mum.

Welcome to Wild Love.

We had to create our biggest fake show yet.

- Hey, Mario Lopez here! - Oh, my God!

It's time for your first Wild Love challenge.

Lana is about to reveal her "no sex" bombshell on the airfield.

Please welcome a very special,

world famous, extreme sports expert to reveal all.

But first, let's go back in time

to when these Wild Love horn dogs first met.

To keep Lana's unsuspecting sexaholics in the dark

about the show they're really on,

we've gotten ourselves a brand new villa in the Caribbean!

Damn, we have upgraded everything this season,

and I mean everything.

Even the bootylicious bombshells.

This is so beautiful!

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Shut up! - What is your name?

- I'm Dominique. - Oh, my God, that's beautiful.

- Thank you, what's yours? - I love it.

I'm Brittan, like the country, but spelled better.

Okay.

I think girls who go and have their casual sex

should not be slut-shamed. In the '50s, you were a slut.

Now, you're an icon. And I'm definitely an icon.

Some people are addicted to Adderall, some people are addicted to tobacco.

I'm addicted to sex.

The worst thing that has ever happened to me,

I met this guy and he looked at me dead in the eye, and was like,

"I'm going to make love to you."

I almost vomited, like, my legs shut so fast.

Do you consider yourself wild?

- Yes? Who doesn't? - Okay, cool! So what do you do?

I'm a software engineer.

That's so cool!

I know, I'll literally be at the bar, like, coding.

I'm the sexiest nerd you're ever going to meet.

People always ask me, "Is it hard working in a male-dominated industry?"

I'm always like, "No, because

I'm extremely beautiful, and I'm extremely smart,

so the men are scared of me."

Gotta tell myself that.

If I say it out loud, it's true.

I'm into guys who just basically have big dick energy.

And I have big dick energy also. It's huge.

I'm super excited to be on Wild Love,

I think there's going to be a ton of attractive people.

I was told I wouldn't have to skin any animals or hunt,

so... that'll be good.

What do you think the guys are gonna be like?

Hot.

Seems reasonable to me.

Oh, my gosh.

What's going on?

- Hello! - Hi! Okay, cute!

- Hi, I'm Dominique! - I'm Creed.

- I hear an accent. - I'm from Australia.

Oh, my God!

I've got a great pair of budgy smugglers.

It's actually got budgies on it and "Australia" over the bum.

I can't really live without female company.

I've definitely got more girlfriends than guy friends.

I grew up in a beauty salon, where I learned how to spray tan a woman.

Sometimes you get the women to, like, lift 'em up and you just quickly...

So I've seen everything, honestly.

I've got the nerdy card, I've got the mama's boy card if they're into that.

I'm not worried about the competition at all.

What are you expecting from Wild Love? What do you want to find?

I just want a, like, damn good time, honestly.

- Exactly! - By the way, you guys look unreal.

- Thank you! - Thank you!

It's very nice to be surrounded by good-looking people.

- Of course! - Creed, your good day

is about to get...

- No way. - Okay!

...goddamn tremendous.

- Wait, she's so pretty. Okay! - Oh, baby!

She's unreal!

- Hi! - How's it going?

- Hello! - Oh, my God, she's an angel.

- I'm Creed. - I'm Kayla.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to...

Can I pour you a glass of champagne?

- Yes, please. - Yeah? Is that your only tattoo?

I have this one and then all the way down my spine.

- No way, that's hot. - Can I see it?

Anyone else think Creed might be a fan of Kayla?

Stunning, honestly.

The way to take the perfect selfie, I feel like is tilt your head.

This lighting is fantastic.

Sometimes guys get a little bit obsessed with me.

I'm just a flirt. Like, I don't know how to not flirt.

People sometimes say I look like Mariah Carey.

I cannot sing. It's really bad.

Guys think they're the only ones that are players,

but I love to play the game.

I break hearts, sadly.

Kayla, it might be your heart that's about to break,

because even though you all think you're on Wild Love...

In under ten hours, a talking cone is going to set you right.

- Oh! - Oh, my God!

I wonder how these two hotties will feel about it.

How's it going?

- James, nice to meet you. - Kayla.

- What's your name? - Nick.

What are your types?

I would say, I go for the stereotypical. Tall, dark and handsome.

- Tall, dark and handsome? - Yes.

- Let's go talk about it at that table. - He's gone and stole her!

I'm guessing James is the forward type.

Tall, dark and handsome. What would you say about handsome?

- You're handsome for sure! - I'm handsome for sure.

All I need before a party is two shots of orange juice and I'm lit.

I live in Hawaii and I offer the Vacation Penis Package.

I really embrace all women. I take whatever.

Oh, I take that back. I did not mean that.

I love to win. I love to win at anything.

It could be something as simple as dish washing.

I will beat you in it and I will laugh in your face after.

Am I good in bed?

I don't want to toot my own horn and say, like, I'm the best, but... I'm the best.

Goodness gracious.

Love your necklaces and stuff.

Thank you.

The necklaces are kind of giving me a spiritual vibe?

I love the spiritual side of life very much.

Okay, do you use that sexually?

It might happen. I promise nothing.

What's up?

I'm Nick and I'm a model, an artist, I'm a yogi.

I can't be summed up into one thing. There is no box that you could put me in.

Except for this one.

I'm very expressive. Girls dig my arty side.

I'd say I'm very good with my hands.

When it comes to sex, I'm very direct and forward.

Like, this is how I want it, this is how it's gonna go.

Late night, early morning, middle of the night,

there's been many a times when I don't sleep at all.

I would 100% be down to mate with an alien for a new species.

Wild Love, right?

Hey, how's it going over there?

- How are you lovebirds doing? - She's finished her drink, no?

- Yes, I mean... - No. He didn't pour me one.

He didn't pour you one?

James, looks like you need to add bottle service

to your Vacation Penis Package.

- There's a spot right here for you. - That's what we're doing?

Fun and games, bro.

It sure is, Creed.

- Oh, my God! - And look who else wants to play.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh, she is beautiful!

Amster-Damn, right she is!

I wonder where she's going to plant her two lips.

- Straight up. - Oh, my God!

Look at all these beautiful people!

- What's up, I'm Nick. - Hi, I'm Jawahir.

- Nice to meet you. - Oh, my God, where are you from?

- I'm from Amsterdam. - She's a fire cracker!

- Yeah. - You're awesome!

- Thank you! - Yeah!

Wow! Who is in the building? It's Jawahir! Can I sit here?

I know exactly what I want in life.

Michael B. Jordan. Face, figure, smile,

I cannot resist. Best believe I'm going to get that man.

- Does my lipstick look good? - Yeah, you look great!

Thank you. You sure I have to look at the camera and not you?

Bad boys are just my thing.

My ancestors up in Heaven are just, like, "Oh, my God."

"Poor child of ours, when are you gonna learn?"

"When are you gonna go for a good guy?"

In another lifetime.

When I thought of the word "wild," I was just like, "Oh, my God,

is that, like, hunting for your food or something?"

Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

I was like, "Hell no, don't sign me up for that!"

They were like, "No, it's about partying and finding the perfect match,"

and then I was like, "Signed up for that."

Duped on the dotted line.

Good job nobody paid any attention to the fine print.

Oh, my God!

Mind the fireplace.

That thing can actually get too hot to handle.

Ooh! Hi!

- Pleased to meet you! - Hi! I'm Kayla.

- Pleased to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

Oh, my God, those eyes. They're like electric.

You guys want a wee refill?

- No. We're good. - Sure!

Nah, you're not good, you need a wee bit more, I think.

I feel like you're accent's so cool.

Do you think so?

- Yeah! - Feels good!

You're not even saying a joke, but it's like you're funny. You know?

- I get that a lot. - Yeah.

- I bet! - Still funny when I do it?

I'm a clown.

Even though I'm a racing driver, I don't always come first.

Do you get it? Do you get that?

Yeah...

I wasn't handsome back in the day.

I was an outright ugly kid, but that's why I'm so good at talking

because I had to have the chat.

And now that I've had a glow up, I've still got the gift of the gab.

That's when it gets dangerous.

I've got a really, really good bum.

I've heard it's like a girl's bum. Who wants to touch it?

Somebody touch my bum. You see that?

That's a bunda!

Being a racing driver, I'm not afraid of an awful lot,

but when it comes to commitment, I start to get a bit nervous.

It's like an unknown sector for me.

I've completed Scotland.

This shark is headed to international waters,

so you better be careful.

You all look great, by the way. Everyone looks unreal.

Thank you! So do you!

- Thank you very much! - I like the style.

I'm digging that tattoo.

A laurel wreath it's called, it's like the Greeks...

- Like a Greek god. - Yeah. Kinda.

I'm not saying I'm a Greek god...

- I see it. - Do you see it a bit?

Look, the compliments are flowing now!

- Walking over right now... - Oh, wow! Look at her!

In case this music isn't giving you the vibe,

our next hottie is from Britain.

You know, just like Brittan, but spelled differently.

- I'm Kayla. - You are stunning.

- How are you? - Oh, my God. British accent.

Oh, my God. Finally.

You look like a princess.

- I look like a princess? - Yeah, Kate Middleton, I think.

- Do I? Do you know what? - A little bit!

Everyone keeps saying that. I don't see it.

If Kate Middleton was compared to me and knew about it,

she'd be quite disappointed.

I'm definitely not royalty standard.

I'm the perfect combination of girly and grubby.

When I was growing up, I had a pony called Poppy,

so I am bloody brilliant with a riding crop.

Boys, watch out.

Can't let men dominate you ever.

If I see someone that I fancy, I kind of, like, tilt my head down,

look up, give a little bit of a look away, flutter the eyelids.

It's never not worked for me before.

I don't want anything serious with anyone.

If I wake up in the morning and they're not there, that's great.

I don't need the small talk. God, that's horrible.

Bring me the international boys.

Like, the wild part suits me right now...

100%, me too, like, I feel like I'm here to just, like, have fun.

We are on Wild Love.

Oh, no, you're not.

We have no idea what's happening next.

No, you don't.

Oh, my God. I feel like someone is gonna come out of the sea.

I feel like my Michael B. Jordan is somewhere out there.

She's expecting A-list, Lana.

I hope you saved your best for last.

Wow.

I think he's gonna be popular.

Forget A-list, he just made every girl here's D-list.

He actually looks like Michael B. Jordan!

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

- My Wild Love family. What's up? - Hiya!

- I'm Nigel, nice to meet you! - Hi, Nigel, I'm Jawahir.

Jesus.

- Beautiful! - Come join our group!

Everybody here is beautiful. I'm glad.

From where you are standing, I can see the rainbow.

- That's good. - It's literally the perfect picture.

I should take a picture of you right now.

My dream girl?

Me with a wig.

9:00 to 5:00, I'm Businessman Nigel.

From 5:00 to 9:00, that's when you meet Naughty Nigel.

I'm definitely enjoying everything about being single, man.

You know, I love it.

I think about sex every five seconds of the day.

One, two, three, four, missionary.

Oh, my God. Back shot. It's always just in my head.

Might be an illness.

This has to be the hottest Nigel I've ever seen.

- We're finally here. - Yes!

We're gonna have some fun and we gonna get wild.

We gonna have fun, it's Wild Love, baby! Let's go!

Let's get wild!

He just got his ass out!

Whoa!

- Yes! - You can feel it, go ahead!

Oh, my God. Shit, that is a bunda!

I like Jawahir.

Shit.

But Kayla is like my number one.

I hate to break it to you, Seb, but you're not the only one.

That is a James Bond villain boat!

Oh, my God, who is it?

Oh, Mario, you sexy minx!

Pull on that throttle and give me some wild love!

Mario is my guy. I watched Saved by the Bell every morning.

What's up, guys? What's up?

Welcome to my new dating show, Wild Love.

I'm gonna help you fall in love harder,

faster and more intensely than you could ever imagine.

You had me at harder and faster, Mario, take me there. I'm ready.

Each day, I'm going to be sending you

on a series of wild challenges designed to get the adrenaline pumping.

Oh, my God!

I love a challenge, I love a competition.

I wonder what body part the adrenaline rushes are going to be in.

It's been scientifically proven that rushes of adrenaline

can cause intense feelings of arousal and attraction.

I've made dating an extreme sport.

So I will see you later.

Go wild, have fun. I'll let you know when it's time for the first challenge.

Sound good?

I think they bought it! Anyone got any questions?

Did he come all the way from the US on that boat?

Lana, if that's all that's on her mind,

you may as well take the rest of the day off.

On the contrary, Desiree, my work is only just beginning.

The next eight hours are crucial.

I will gather data and analyze my guest's behavior

before the rules of my retreat are revealed

and the Wild Love fake show is terminated.

Hasta la vista, Cone-y. I'll see you later.

Well, what's first on the agenda for this new batch of beauties?

Explore their new home?

Go for a stroll on the picturesque beach?

- I think they're all top-notch. - They are!

Nope, debriefing on who they'd like to be de-briefing.

If you have one option?

It's obvious that Kayla is an absolute goddess.

Weapon.

- And I'm going to give her a right go. - Yeah...

- I say Kayla, man. - With Kayla. I'm sorry, boys.

It's gotta be Kayla.

These guys are trying to take my girl.

They have her on the top of their lists, but I'm not going to let that happen.

- Let me just tell you, I'm a sniper. - Oh, Jesus.

So whatever is in my scope, it's a confirmed kill, man.

- Confirmed. - I'm sorry, guys.

Obviously, I'm the most beautiful, like, come on.

But besides me, I like Kayla a lot.

I'm maybe shitting myself with... Kayla.

Why do y'all have to choose my bird?

What about you?

Man, I would have to say Jawahir is probably my number one.

There's just something about her from like that first look,

that really is captivating, right?

Everyone's playing their own game right now with Kayla,

but I'm just focusing on Jawahir.

I think Jawahir's a bit of a curve ball here, right?

And I'll tell you why: Bunda.

- Bunda? - It's the bum.

Nick's all in for Jawa here,

but it looks like the rest of the boys want to split Kayla four ways.

Wait, does that sound right? I think it's best that we move on.

If you had to pick right now,

without thinking about it too much, who would you pick?

Can I just let them pick me?

They kinda already did, Kayla.

I can't rule anyone out right now.

I don't know what I want yet, so I don't want to limit myself

to just flirting with one guy.

Oh, the girl likes options and, boy, she's got plenty of them.

- I really like James. - He's, like, the Hulk.

Yeah.

James is so fine. Like ten out of ten looks.

If he wants to come up to me,

then he can get some talk, he can get some action.

I want to keep my options open, but I got my eyes on Nigel.

- I'm gonna say straight away! - Oh, my God!

I have to have Nigel.

I don't care if I have to push another girl off the stairs.

I'm kidding!

Am I, though?

Willing to kill to get her man.

Gotta admire the work ethic.

This season is gonna be like a sexy game of Clue.

I can't wait. My money's on Jawa with her bare hands

in the multimillion-dollar villa.

Which reminds me, we should take a look around! Careful on the stairs.

Oh!

- Shit! - Oh, my gosh!

I think the villa is absolutely gorgeous.

X-ray vision here!

Maybe some people are gonna try some things

they haven't before. Who knows?

Holy...

This is all for us?

I love the villa. What a vibe!

- Oh, my God! Sexy! Stop! - No way! No way!

Where's the weirdest place that each one of you have had sex?

- The green on a golf course. - On top of a Catholic school.

It was good! It was the adrenaline!

I was, like, "Am I gonna fall? Am I gonna come? I don't know!"

No!

It sounds like Brittan has no problem getting wild.

And guess what? She's not the only one!

Right now I'm kind of gunning for Kayla.

I'm going to make it known that that's kind of my territory.

I think I'm gonna sneak in with Kayla first.

I think I'm in there with Kayla.

I want to wait till the time's right, but, trust me, when that time is right,

I'm doing it. I'm horny.

Hats off to you, Kayla. They are under your spell.

Drinks!

Wait a minute.

- What is it? - There's only one.

- I want it. - You want it?

Come get it!

I know what I'm doing.

All in, full throttle,

go for Kayla first and she's instantly off the market.

- This is cute. I'm down for this. - Oh, yeah!

Just like you.

- You have a strong stance. I like it. - Do I?

I feel like I could literally hide behind you.

Protector.

My game plan is play the field, talk to everybody

and then we can do a process of elimination.

What do you want, Kayla?

- Let me hear that. - Tough question!

- It is? Make it simple. - Yeah.

Who do you want?

- It's too early! - That's a good answer.

It's not the right answer, but it's a good answer.

You come on so strong.

- Do I really? - You make me so nervous.

Kayla's definitely feeling me.

My charm's killing it right now. Kayla's loving it.

- Yeah! - I'm trying to win.

- I understand. You want what you want. - No doubt.

Mm-hm. And this is what I want right here.

James is really hot and I like his confidence.

He's definitely on the list, but I'm still keeping my options open.

Just can't see her face behind those enormous biceps.

Not gonna lie, seeing James and Kayla, I'm getting a bit jealous.

I'm going to try to pull her aside for a chat.

I've got the Aussie accent, signed, sealed and delivered, mate.

The race for Kayla has well and truly begun.

And she is going to make those boys do some serious leg work.

Oh, my God. Get up, look at this. Look at that. How beautiful is that?

Wow.

- It's a painting. Picture perfect. - I know. Just like me.

- Just like you. - Just like you.

I got to have Nigel, so I need to make the first move.

What was it? Like, your first impression of me?

"Look at this piece of chocolate." Pretty piece of chocolate.

Do you want to have

- this piece of chocolate? - Ooh!

- You might melt in my mouth. - I want to melt in your mouth.

- Hello! - Damn! Okay.

Nigel is giving me attention and I want those hands to be on me.

Tonight is definitely my night. Hello. It has to be!

I'm just hoping to get to know you better.

Jawahir is beautiful, but I want to do naughty things with Kayla.

That's all that's going through my mind.

Kayla's alone. It's game on. Game on.

Oh, my gosh, the other boys aren't wasting any time here.

I'mma start having to make some Naughty Nigel moves.

Those Naughty Nigel moves are going to have to go on ice for now...

- Hi. - What's up?

...because Creed has frozen you out.

I feel like I've never spoken to you properly.

- No, not really! - How you doing?

How are you?

- Yeah, you look gorgeous, by the way. - Thank you!

- I see you looking at yourself in the... - I'm like, "Thanks!"

- Are you blushing or are you sunburned? - I'm sunburned as fuck.

Creed is really handsome, but he isn't my go-to type of guy.

But I love the Australian accent, so he might be able to change my mind.

Because I want to get to know you.

Honestly, right now, I don't really have eyes for anyone else.

- Besides me? - Yeah.

I want you to keep your options open.

- Honestly. - Okay.

Can we make a promise on it?

- That I keep my options open? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Mission accomplished, Creed! Kayla seems open-minded about you!

How are you going to seal the deal? Make arrangements for later?

Sweep in for the kiss?

Promise?

Wow. A pinky promise? Pulling out the big guns, huh?

Game on.

Pinky promise goes a long way, you know?

I mean, how is she going to resist me?

I am keeping my options open, but he wasn't super specific.

I think Creed thinks the pinky promise means a little more than it does.

Shit.

Kayla, you'll have to choose soon.

All right. Here we go.

Because rehearsals are already underway for Lana to make her grand entrance.

Three, two...

This is the dating show that harnesses the power of adrenaline

to help you fall in love harder, faster and more intensely than ever.

Let me do one more.

I have no idea how this challenge is going to go.

It's gonna be absolutely insane and it's gonna be wild.

It's gonna be doing something in the dark.

With night vision or something like that.

I have no clue what adrenaline rush

could mean to Mario, I know what it means for me.

A rush of adrenaline? That could be a climax!

Jesus Christ, we just got here.

Talking about climaxes, the race for Kayla is heating up.

- It's fair game right now. - It's fair game.

Kayla is beautiful.

She is, like, the go-to, but she's everyone's go-to.

Time for me to make my move.

Finally, the racing driver is stepping on the gas.

Hi!

Uh-oh.

Nigel, look at you!

And he's straight back to the pits.

Shite.

Worst racing driver ever.

We ain't really get a chance to talk yet.

- Yeah, we haven't. - Right?

I've been on the bench watching.

I'm gonna show the boys some dominance and who's top dog.

My plan is I'm gonna just talk to her, you know. My mouthpiece is unmatched.

Everything is just equally as beautiful, the view, you, the...

Ooh! You just slipped that in there, huh?

What do you think they're talking about?

What's your favorite color?

Cool. Do you have a lucky number?

So, what's your sign?

- You weren't far off. - I'm a Libra. What are you?

- A Scorpio. - Are you dangerous?

You like danger?

- Yes. Danger is exciting. - You do?

I'm a red flag.

I kind of have my eyes set on Nigel, but I feel like it's early days,

so got to make him work for it.

You got the type of body where you don't have to work out at all.

- Nigel! You're making me blush. - You know? Making you blush?

You work out a lot?

You know, I try to look good, keep it tight. A little muscles.

Do the thing.

What, the... This?

I know Kayla's into me, and I want to kiss her.

My smile is hard to resist.

What's the best thing about somebody, what do you see first?

I see a smile.

I see the eyes and then the lips.

- The lips? - Yeah.

- Okay. - You know?

I feel like I'm hot and blushing right now.

Gotta remember to play it cool,

but sometimes it's hard for me when it's just sexual tension.

You like mine?

Yeah. They looking juicy.

I'm going in deep.

Let me get a little smooch.

I got the girl everybody wanted. I think she'll be in my bed.

Damn.

It's all bad. All bad.

Shit!

I liked that.

Just felt right.

So I've kissed Nigel, but I'm not going to close myself off

to all other options just yet, because it's still day one.

Hey, babe.

- Hey, girl. I'm good. - How are you?

I really enjoyed that kiss with Nigel,

but I need to talk with Jawahir, and I'm hoping she understands.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

How thoughtful, Kayla!

Mind you, don't get pushed down those stairs, though.

Your hair looks beautiful.

Thank you!

Nice move. Soften her up first. Avoid impending threat to life.

Um...

I have something to tell you.

I know you've been, like, Nigel, Nigel, Nigel.

Yeah.

I just want to be open and honest with you.

We did kiss.

Fucking hell! Are you serious?

I know, I'm sorry! Don't hate me!

Inside right now... I'm dying inside.

How can I forget about Nigel for a night?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

All Jawa needs is a distraction. Nick, this could be your big chance.

I don't think he heard me.

Do you know what, you bugger, Nigel, mate?

Come on! It hasn't even been 24 hours, fam.

It hasn't even been 24... We're only on day one.

I'm absolutely gutted, mate.

It feels like someone's punched me in the stomach.

But you know what? It's a marathon, not a sprint.

But what about you, bro?

- They all got a little splash. - They do.

Kayla is really not on the table right now, for me.

You got to be strategic.

I'm going to go with Brittan.

- Game on. - Game on.

Kayla. What the fuck?

Dude, she made an executive decision.

It don't matter. Don't matter.

I've missed my shot with Kayla.

So, I'm gonna have to change my game plan from now on, I think.

So this is what I was thinking, like, Jawahir is stunning, bro.

Yes, she's tight, bro.

- You can't sleep on her. You can't. - Mm-hm.

I'm going to shoot my shot with Jawahir and see where I'm at.

We hit it off first moment on the beach, like, I noticed that bunda.

Yes, bro.

Come on, Nick, you'll miss your big chance.

I am the master of my ego. I forgive myself. I trust myself.

Hitting on yourself, huh?

Let's bounce before he gets to second base.

Like the old saying goes,

if at first you don't succeed, go for your second choice.

Hang on, let me sort this for you.

Girls laugh their way into bed. You believe me.

Sebby boy knows what he's doing. He's calculating in there.

And in there.

I'm going to be honest, like, I think you're beautiful.

I would like to get to know you more.

Oh, Seb! That's very cute!

That the cutest thing anyone's ever said to you?

No.

I really, really, really like Nigel,

but if he's not gonna acknowledge the fact that I'm there,

I'm just gonna give Seb a chance.

Where is it you're from again? Amsterdam?

Yeah, Amsterdam. I actually speak Dutch, Swahili, Somalian, Ethiopian.

What is, like, the sexiest thing you can say to me in, like, any language?

Napenda macho yako.

It means I love your eyes.

Wow, that's so nice. I'm gonna say that's Swahili.

Yeah, it is.

- What a guess! - Spot on!

- Hit me with something Scottish. - Drop your scants.

Drop your scants? What the fuck is that?

Drop your pants.

Oh! Drop your scants!

Seb is cute.

And he's funny, and funny guys are dangerous for me.

Just end up naked all the time.

Can you speak Spanish?

No, I only know poquito.

Know what "dame un beso" means?

"Dame un beso?" What does that mean?

It means, "Give me a kiss."

- Give you a kiss? - Yeah, that's what that means.

Oh, my God.

Yeah?

That was neat. You're a good kisser.

I hate to say I told you so, but I fucking told you so.

Damn.

We're here to have wild love, and I can't wait to go to bed tonight,

because I'm not sleeping alone.

These sexy sinners are trading saliva like it's Bit coin,

but in less than two hours, Lana's gonna put all transactions on hold.

Come in, Captain Lopez, are you ready for takeoff?

All right, here it goes.

Hey, guys, Mario here.

It's time for your first Wild Love challenge.

Here we go.

Everything you need is in the bedroom.

Go ahead and get changed and head to the front of the building.

Finally, the bit I've been waiting for the whole show.

Lana, you have played this perfectly. Ooh, embroidered outfits!

"Seb!" It's got my name on it!

What is the first challenge?

- Who can have sex the fastest? - Who can finish the fastest?

Would this not be what you would fly in?

Oh, yeah! We're going to be paragliding!

My heart is going, boom, boom, boom! I'm afraid of heights.

Don't make us jump off anything, please, I beg you.

I reckon that we're jumping out of a plane.

- Fuck, yeah. - Oh, my God.

Props to Mario for lending us his private jet.

- You good to go, big guy? - Ready?

How's my wig, most importantly?

If the wig's tight, the show's going to be tight?

I'll take that as a yes.

- What do you think we'll do? - Oh, my God, I'll shit my pants.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! What the hell?

It's a plane!

Naughty Nigel's got this. It's game time.

Holy shit!

Wild Love, baby!

What is this?

What is going on?

Am I jumping out of a plane? What is about to happen?

Your sex lives are about to join the mile dry club.

Welcome to your first Wild Love challenge.

What do you think the challenge is going to be tonight?

- We got to be jumping out this plane. - Would you have a problem with that?

- Yeah. I got a problem with that. - I got you.

If we jump out of this plane, my boobies will fly out.

That would be pretty wild.

I guess it's too late to back out, so we're gonna go with it.

Okay. It's now time to find out what your challenge officially is.

Please welcome a very special, world famous,

extreme sports expert to reveal all.

An expert?

No way.

Or a cock-blocking cone,

who's about to tell you what show you are really on.

Oh, my God!

My heart is pumping!

Inside, my heart is sinking.

The big reveal, without a doubt, my favorite part of the show.

Oh, my God!

But I can't help but wonder how Lana is gonna be able to open the car door.

- Like, a thousand little... - Oh, my God.

Let's put them out of, I mean, into their misery.

Come on. Talk to me.

Look at that!

Talk to me nice!

Smoke is coming out through the sunroof. Like, what the hell?

Oh, my gosh, my heart is gonna stop!

My bad, I forgot Lana could levitate.

No!

- Bitch. - No!

Peace out!

Oh, my gosh!

Why?

Slo-mo screams anyone?

Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

You're taking the piss!

No!

We're on Too Hot to Handle.

- This is Too Hot to Handle. - Oh, my God.

As you can see. This is no longer Wild Love.

Shock of the century. I'm pissed.

"Wild Love" is on the side of the frickin' cars!

Yep. No expense spared by Lana.

This is in fact, Too Hot to Handle.

They're so busy worrying about the sex ban,

they totally missed the small fortune we spent on fireworks.

I didn't even get to, like, pleasure myself to say goodbye.

I'm trying to compute in my brain

how I went from thinking I was jumping out of a plane

to being told my punany was on lockdown?

Somebody bring out Mario, this isn't real.

Mario made me happy.

I don't know how they hid that from me so well.

Shit. Fuck!

There's going to be no pumping.

I don't know what my hips will do. They're gonna seize up.

You have been specially selected because all of you

are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships.

- That's rude. - It's not wrong.

Not wrong at all.

I've broken so many hearts in my life, I feel like this is literally karma.

My ancestors are punishing me right now.

Since your arrival, I have been gathering data on your wild behavior,

but from now on, you must adhere to my retreat rules.

- We're fucked. I'm fucked. - Oh, my God.

Technically, it's the exact opposite.

There goes my plan to kiss everybody.

I was going to, like, taste all the flavors,

and now it's like... No.

That's crazy.

I had plans. I had plans.

Naughty Nigel don't listen to any rules. That's what makes him naughty.

As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000.

That changes everything!

Sex was definitely the plan,

but with 200K on the line, I gotta follow. There's money on the line.

I am a college student. I need it! I need it!

Surely we can spend a couple grand on...

- We can talk that out. - We've got 200 of them, you know?

No.

There's a lot of money... to spend.

You see, now that I can't have it, I want it more.

- No, no, no! - Come on!

No! You are the only person that's gonna mess this up for all of us.

I'm so serious.

So welcome to your long, hard,

sexless...

summer.

This isn't Heaven anymore, welcome to Hell!

Oh, it's much worse than Hell.

At least in Hell, you're allowed to be horny.

Forgive me, Father, because I will sin.