All language subtitles for Killington.2024.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264

- Welcome everyone and thank
you for joining me today.

Okay, I'm just gonna
have you take a second.

- Oh, watching guru lady again.

Cool.

- It's yoga.

- Yeah?

Is it couch yoga?

Are you in couch pose?

- And we're gonna turn those
emotions into a calm serenity.

- Okay, full disclosure,
I don't really understand

why this girl is taking
the internet by storm.

She kinda seems a little bit
boring.

- Okay, Patrick,

people say she's gonna
be the next Oprah, so.

- She's not Oprah.

- Two, three.

- You don't get it.

- No, I know.

That's what I'm saying.

- Out through your mouth.

- I love her.

- Two, three, four.

- Okay, well, we'll keep an eye
on that.

In the meantime, I'm gonna go
make dinner.

I hope you like beans

and cheesecake.
- You will be safe.

You will be happy.

You will be healthy.

- Hi Lu.

- Hey boo, what you up to?

- Not much.

- So I proposed you print that
picture.

- Are you watching Kali.
- In your visual field.

- What?

- Emily, pause the video, look
at me.

I have a fantastic surprise for
you.

- Ooh, okay.

Sorry, what's up?

- We won.

- We won?

We won.

- We won.

- We won the weekend getaway
with Kali.

Shut up.

- Yes, no.
- Shut up.

- No, yes, we won, we
won.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God, what?

- She picked us.

She picked us.

- I feel like I'm gonna cry
right now.

Like I don't even know what to
do.

- Just breathe.

Like, oh my God, we're gonna be,

like when she exhales,
we're gonna breathing,

we're gonna inhale her exhale.

We're gonna breathe the same
air.

- Okay.

And you don't think Allegra's
gonna be pissed, right,

like about her weekend
getting ruined or anything?

- She can't be mad.

This is so much better.

Like your bachelorette is with
Kali.

- So that's why I am
not really a dog person.

- Okay.

- That's ridiculous.

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

- It sounds like it was your
fault though.

- That's what the landlord said.

Anyways, how often do
you guys go to Grand Bar?

Oh, hold on.

Sorry, I have to take this.

Oh my lovely Lulu,

what do I owe this unexpected
pleasure?

Look at these boys.

- Hi guys, hi.
- Isn't he handsome.

That one too.

He's cute, right?

Okay.

Do you need me to send an
itinerary for this weekend?

- I was actually just sent
an itinerary from Kali.

- Shut up.
- We won

the weekend getaway with her.

No, no, we're going to
Killington.

- Like, Vermont?

- Yeah.

I guess I don't know where it
is,

but promise me you're not
mad about Atlantic City.

- Oh my God, no, I'm not mad,
I'm not mad.

I can find a stripper
anywhere, okay, I think.

- Leg.

- Have you called Emily?

- First person I called.

She is the bride to be.

- What about Darcy?

- I think she's filming
something that weekend.

I don't think she's planning on
going.

- No, I think she said in the
group text,

that you're not in, that
she's trying to get out of it.

- You have a group text that I'm
not in?

- Yeah.

Like we have one with the four
of us

and then one where you're not in
it.

And then Darcy and I
text a lot on our own.

- Why would you do that?

I LOL at everything you type.

- Hey, it's the building blocks

of all group friendships, okay.

Just let Darcy know about Kali.

But I gotta go right now.

- Emojis too.

- Okay, okay.

Well just text her, I think
she's on set.

Bye.

- Hey.

Yeah, no, I know I left early.

All right.

Okay.

No, I'm here.

I'm sorry, I'm just, there's
like music

and I'm just distracted, I'm
listening.

Okay.

Okay, no, thank you,

I do not need a reminder
to be on set next weekend.

I have been reminded.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

- She's gonna be so
excited.

- Here's the
bride-to-be.

- Hello.

- Hello ladies.

- Hi Dino.

- Why don't any of you
come to see me anymore?

- Because this bitch has been
too busy planning her funeral,

I mean, wedding.

- I understand.

You gals take care of
our Emily this weekend.

- We will.

I promise.

If we encounter a bear, I'll
make sure she's eaten last.

- Bears?

In that case, remember,
bears don't like ammonia.

Keep some of that handy
this weekend, just in case.

- Did you get that?

- Yeah. I'll get some, I'll try
my best.

- You know, you always
know the most random,

knowledgeable facts.

Why is that?

- I'm a doorman, it's
kind of in my nature.

- I'll take it.

- All right, you girls drive
safe.

- Bye Dino, thank you.

- Bye Emily.

- Thanks.

- See you later.

- Who's ready for a wild
weekend?

- Me.

- How long is the drive?

- It's about seven
hours,

- Seven?
- Maybe six.

- Allegra, you
have your license, right?

- Okay.

We should get there around five.

- Oh, perfect.

Kali's gonna be there at eight,

so it'll give us time
to compose ourselves.

- Oh, so I was skimming

some of my bridal magazines the
other day

and who did I see?

But our very own,

"Hostess with the Mostest."
- No, no.

- God, Darcy, that's so great.

- I wish you would go
cake tasting with me.

I need your help.

- Why?

She doesn't know anything about
cakes.

- Thank you.

The other day they asked me
about wedding cake trends.

I don't even know what that
means.

- Okay Darcy, food is your brand
now.

People expect you to be the
expert.

- That is true.

You should write a book.

- Okay, just because I host a
cooking show

doesn't mean I know anything
about food.

It just means I know how
to read a teleprompter

near food and smile.

- But Darcy, seriously, there's
a lot you can do with this.

- Don't listen to the sellout
star.

- Hey, you're one to talk.

- Hey.

- All I'm saying is I
didn't think the woman

who only showered once a month
in college

would go on to have a
featured line in whole foods.

- I showered twice a month in
college.

- You guys, this thing
on the dash just lit up.

- What does it mean?

- I don't know.

- Darcy, Darcy, this is my
territory.

- Okay, I can't call that close

to the road.
- Stop talking.

I won't be able to go
unless I can concentrate.

- Okay.

- You are something,

you know?
- So you can change a tire,

but you didn't know what

the low pressure tire light
thingy was.

- Okay.

You didn't know what
the thingy was either.

- Okay, all right,

well, I guess the latter's
more important, biatch.

- Wait.

- Yeah, we're good to go.

- Yeah, it feels like we are.

- Oh and this is a serious
weapon, by the way.

- Yeah, it's very dangerous.

Okay, don't swing it.
- Oh my God,

you are legit scary with this
thing.

Get in the car.
- All right let's go.

- Hey, like, how much longer?

- We are almost there.

- Really?

It's like not even a
Starbucks around here.

Oh, this reminds me

of the, "Chilling Killings of
Kalamazoo."

- Oh my God.

You are not allowed to talk
about your creepy crime shows

on this trip.

- Okay, I have a confession.

I've already kind of met Kali.

- You did?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

I did one of her soul chat
things.

- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Like the phone call thing?

- Yeah, it was only 15
minutes, but oh my God,

it was so amazing.

She really opened up my mind.

- 15 minutes for $500.

- Oh, I mean, I don't think
it was that much, but.

- I'm looking at the website

and that's pretty steep Em.

- Well, funny you should say
that

because she actually
burned the money I Venmoed

after our session.

- What?

- Yes.

Well, okay, she burned $500.

- Okay, I'm not getting it.

I'm not getting it.

Tell me what's going on.

- She burned $500.

That's really shitty.

- It was symbolic.

- Okay, well tell that to the
people

who can't pay their rent.

- You guys can say whatever you
want.

I'm serious about her.

I legit think she might be
the last genuine person left.

We need more people like her
with the state of the world.

- Oh yeah, that's exactly what
we need,

another white girl in yoga
pants telling us what to do.

I'm joking guys.

I love her, I'm obsessed with
her.

- Oh, Lulu, will you show us the
video

that you sent to Kali?

I wanna see it.

- Hi Kali, I'm Lulu Sherman,

creator of the skincare line, Oh
Crap,

which you may have heard of.

The four of us have been best
friends

since our native ambitious
days at Sarah Lawrence.

There's Emily, Allegra,
Darcy, and of course me.

Emily is a total marketing
badass.

All my friends deserve it,
really.

They all work so hard and
really just need to kick back.

If you pick us.

I will be indebted to you.

- Wow.
- For the rest of my life.

- Oh, that's really
cute.

- Thanks.

- Oh my God, I can't believe
we won with that fucking video.

I mean, if I saw this,
I would kill all of us.

- That's so big.

- No one jumped at that setup.

- It's not what I expected.

- Well, let's go check it out.

- Woo.

- Still okay.

- Not what I expected.

- Yeah, I don't wanna be
ungrateful or anything,

but I thought it would
be a little bit nicer.

- This is so genuine, right.

- Yeah.

- It is a little cold.

- Let's get drunk.

We'll warm right up.

- Yeah, going in the freezer.

- What the fuck?
- Hi.

- Okay, you guys, I have
brass knuckles stay calm.

- Who are you?

- Hello, she asked you a fucking
question.

- Sorry, you're all just so
radiant.

- Okay, well we are not just
tits and ass.

Actually, you have four
of the smartest ladies

in Manhattan right here.

And we will seriously kick your
ass

if you don't tell us who the
hell you are.

- Geez, I should have known.

Manhattan?

I grew up here.

I'll be your neighbor for the
weekend.

- We don't need your whole life
story.

- I'm here for whatever you
need.

- Well, we need for you not to
be here.

- Allegra, the property
stated it had a caretaker.

He's legit.

Don't be rude.

- All right ladies,

I'll just show you few
things about the house

and then I'll be outta your
hair.

- Okay, thank you.

- What?

- Be nice to him.

- What?
- Will you be nice.

- He stared right into my eyes.

- You're crazy.
- This is like an episode

of, "Chilling Killings of
Kalamazoo."

And there was a guy who wore
overalls.

- No.

- Always.
- You're kidding.

- I like your overalls.

- I think they stocked the
fridge.

Just don't feed the bears.

Got some books by the fireplace
if you're reading folk.

Lemme show you the attic.

Fixing to get a new bulb
before you guys got here,

but suppose I'll have
to bring it by tomorrow.

That's about it.

- Well, thanks for showing us
around.

- You look awful familiar.

- Oh.

- Like a movie star or
something.

I'm sure you get that all the
time.

- She isn't a movie star,
but she is a television star.

- Ah.

- She's the, "Hostess with the
Mostest."

From the show.
- I don't really watch TV.

Have you done any play acting
too?

- I actually consider myself
mostly a theater actress.

I mean, I guess not as much as
anymore.

- Have you ever done anything
at the Williamstown Festival?

In the Berkshires?

- Oh wow, yeah, actually
like five years ago.

- "The Seagull."

That's what it was.

I mean, wow, you blew
my mind in that play.

I mean, I don't understand
how you stay so focused

and everything under all that
pressure.

- Oh, it's really not that hard.

- I mean, I could never do
something.

- I'm sure you could.

I mean, have you even tried?

- Once.

That's how I know I can't do it.

- Hey Dar, Allegra needs
you

for a game we're gonna play.

- Oh, right.

- Yes, and hit Shane, please.
- Oh my God.

He was literally the worst.

- He was awful.

- His friends also sucked.

- Well, have you ever seen
sober people play darts?

- No, okay.

All right, oh my God.

I hope I'm good, okay.

Oh, that wasn't good.

Okay, okay.

- That was kind close.

- He's like,
never been hit before.

- I dunno why, he's smug
enough.

- I know.

Remember when he had
that pantless web series?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

- Oh my God, Kali, Kali,
you're here in this house.

I'm Lulu.

You picked me, our video.

We're bacheloretteing.

We're friends now.
- Why don't you

Let the woman inside?

- Oh my God.

I'm so sorry, please sit down.

- Oh, no, no worries.

I totally get it.

It's really lovely to meet you,
Lulu.

- Thank you.

This is Allegra.

- Hi queen of the bachelorette
party.

- Oh, congratulations.

Or best wishes, I think it's
best wishes

when it comes to the bride.

- Oh my God, thank you so much.

But I'm actually not the bride.

- She meant she's the queen
of getting shit-faced.

Hi, I am Emily, I'm the bride.

And it is truly an honor.

- Ugh, I am the honored one

to be invited on a girls'
ritualistic weekend like this.

I mean, you don't even know me.

- Well, that just goes
to show how good you are

at what you do, because we
feel like we do know you.

- Yeah.

- I think we missed one.

- Hi, I'm Darcy.

Nice to meet you.

- You look awfully familiar.

- Oh.

- She's an actress.

- Ah, how fun.

I love the theater.

- She's on TV.

She has a show, "Hostess
with the Mostest."

- Oh, I don't actually own a
television.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

I'm not actually some anti
television snob or anything.

I just, I really don't have the
time.

- Oh, I bet.

- How do you do it all?

Because you do a fucking lot.

Do you have like an army
working for you or something?

- You know, this weekend
it's all about Emily, right?

- Yes.

- It's enough about me.
- Yeah, good idea.

No offense.

But let's get back to our game.

- We could probably start
winding down.

- You're playing a game?

- Yes.
- Oh, it's just

some silly game.

You don't have to play.

- It's really, it's really
silly.

- It's not silly, I spent
like six hours on it, plus.

- You know, I'd be happy
to lead a guided meditation

if you like.

- Oh my God, that sounds

incredible.
- Yes.

- Just relax.

Go ahead and lie down.

Make yourself feel comfortable.

Just stay still.

Go ahead

and just breathe.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

We are different from our
bodies.

These are a temporary
house for our spirits.

Death is not the end.

We attain perfection through
many lives.

Gaining wisdom from each one.

And becoming closer to perfect

with each life that is lived.

But you will not get it in
the state that you are in now,

in this presence that you are
in.

Renounce your desires.

Renounce those who spread
demonic ideas.

And who merely talk of moral
values

but do not practice them.

- Stop.

- Oh my God.

Well, I really liked Danny
until I met his family.

Oh God.
- Oh God his family.

- So bad.

- Why, what was wrong with his
family?

- They spoke in pig Latin at
dinner, for the entire meal.

No, for the entire meal.

And Danny got really mean when
I wouldn't go along with it.

But I'm just really bad at pig
Latin.

Needless to say it was better
away.

- Don't say that.

- Okay.

Over is what I'm saying.

Over.

- What a colorful dating
history.

- Oh, not even.

You should hear Darcy's tales of
romance.

- No, you shouldn't.

- Darcy, please.

Now that I'm engaged, I live
vicariously through you.

- Yeah, I bet, working in
the entertainment industry,

you meet a lot of interesting
people.

- I meet actors, which
means I usually have

an incredible first date
and by the third date,

all of the trauma's on the
table.

- That sounds sort of
refreshing.

- Allegra is the one with
the exciting dating life.

- Oh, is that what you call
it, Allegra, a dating life?

- Screw you.

- What about you Lulu?

- Oh, Lu is a fellow serial
monogamous.

Oh, this is my husband-to-be.

I'll be right back.

- Your phone is meant
to be on airplane mode.

- Oh, can I just take this real
quick?

I don't want him to be worried.

- I guess you are the
bride, so just this once.

- Thanks.

- Airplane mode?

- To answer your question,
Kali, no, no one at the moment.

I'm obviously really busy
with my company, Oh Crap.

So it's really hard for me
to meet people right now.

- Kali, please tell me
you're not one of those

like anti-sex, yogi people.

- I am intermittently celibate.

I find that it just really
helps me keep a clear head.

I just, I really like being here
with you.

Just like being with a
big group of sisters.

I always wanted sisters,

but I got stuck with brothers.

- Oh my God, me too.

- Oh my God.

You guys are like, so all right.

- Sorry, phone is
officially on airplane mode.

- He called you from his
bachelor party?

It's a little codependent, no?

- Okay.
- Ew, no.

And he's bachelor party is
tomorrow night.

- You've been gone like eight
hours.

- I know.

Isn't that sweet?

- It is sweet.

Don't listen to them.

- Okay, well, I'm exhausted
and I'm gonna go turn in.

- Not gonna check the locks?

She's totally paranoid.

- I already did twice.

All right, goodnight.

And don't be quiet on my
account.

I've got my Air Pods.

- Freak.

- She seems really happy to be a
bride.

What is her fiance like?

- Oh, he's a really nice guy
and he's just crazy about her.

- He's boring, but he's rich.

So she likes him.

- Honestly, he's exactly
what she was after.

He's very secure.

- Oh my God, they're in love.

You're just a sinner.

- So she's ready to quit her
job.

- She wants to be a housewife?

- You know, I really
don't think we should be

talking about our best friend.

- Technically, we're
talking about Patrick.

- You know what?

I'm gonna have to bed too.

Goodnight

- Night.

- She didn't
used to be so sensitive.

- Is there something going on
with her?

I thought you were going.
- Jesus.

I didn't see you there.

God, just need to find
something for my back.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Morning.

- I love you, Dar.

- Oh, what do you want?

- Can you pretty, pretty, pretty
please

get me a cup of coffee.

- Sure.

Why can't you get it?

- 'Cause I need the coffee

to have the energy to get the
coffee.

- Understandable.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Coffee coming right up.

- Hmm, we told her she couldn't
have any until she got up.

- She needs the coffee to have
the energy

to get the coffee.

- Enabler.

- Oh, how many cups have you
had?

- None.

You know I'm off coffee until
the wedding.

The bleaching, it's really
expensive.

- The teeth are the asshole.

Wait, have you guys been having

like weird cell phone service?

- Darcy, you know, we're not
supposed to have our phones.

- You should have gotten up
earlier, Dar,

we did a sun salutation
with Kali at sunrise.

- Yeah.

- That's very cool.

- Yeah, I do yoga three times a
day.

You are under no obligation to
join,

but if you do want to make
the most of the weekend.

- Count me in for the next one.

Leg, you want cream?

- Yes, please.

- Where's the cream?

- Oh, actually I have the
perfect vegan substitute

in my bag.

- I've got something you can use
too.

- Oh, thanks guys.

- Dar, what is my life right
now?

I'm getting married in a week

and all my best friends are
here.

And my idol is like, she's
like one of the girls, right?

She's like one of us.

- It's crazy.

Do you think she's?
- Here you go.

It's just a spoonful.

- Ah, I'm good.

- Here's some vegan
sweetener if you want some.

- Oh, thank you both.

- Is that the Guzzling Farm,
Swuga?

- Yeah, I saw your post
about it a few weeks back.

It's all I use now.

- Yeah, it's garbage.

They're actually the reason

that I don't do sponsored posts
anymore.

I dug a little bit deeper,

child labor, pesticides,
the whole shebang.

- That's awful.

- Your coffee little
lady.

Careful, hot.

- Thank you my liege.

I do not wish to be awake.

- So bach bitch, what's
the plan for today?

- Sadly, I think I've been
dethroned.

But it's only temporary.

I have a surprise for the
weekend.

- Oh God.

It makes me nervous when you say
that.

- Hello, come eat.

- Okay.

- Everyone needs some
protein before our hike.

- Yay.
- Yay.

- Hey Travis.

How can I help you?

- Just, can I grab something?

- Okay, come in.

- Oh, hi Travis.

- Hello ladies.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

To what do we owe the pleasure.

- Oh he just had to grab
something.

- Oh, you must be the one that
helps out around the house.

I think the guy who owns it
mentioned something about you.

- It's not a guy.

It's an old lady.

- Travis, this is Kali the guru.

- Oh, nice to meet you.

- Me too.

- So what do y'all got planned
for today?

- I think we're going on
a hike around the lake.

- No, we don't, we don't
know what we're doing.

- But that's what she said.

- When or where, I think we're
gonna hang around the house

and do some girl stuff.
- Oh thank God.

- Sounds fun.

Well, I get outta your hair.

- Okay, Darcy, you are not
supposed to tell strangers

when your house is vacant.

- Oh he forgot his gloves.

- Is she crazy?

- Hold on.

Hey.

- What is this?

- Oh, that's my dried algae.

- You forgot your gloves.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

- Hey, have you,

have you ever done any
Shakespeare?

- Oh, I was Rosalyn in a
production of,

"As You Like It," in Brooklyn,
like three years ago.

It was before "Hostess with the
Mostest."

- I bet you were good.

You have a really nice way of
talking.

- Oh, thank you.

- Is that what you wanted?

- What?

- Be on TV to blow up?

- I thought it was,

but I understand now why
people call it blowing up.

I think I would call it selling
your soul.

- I mean, you could always
buy your soul back, right?

I mean, you can buy pretty
much anything in this world.

- Darcy, come on.

- I should go back.

- I'll bring that light
bulb by this afternoon.

I'll wait till you're back.

I don't wanna freak out your
friend.

- I'm sorry.

- Don't be.

- You're freaky and I love it.

But it is time to go and I
don't want you to get murdered.

- Okay, okay, let's
go, let's go, let's go.

Go, go, go.

- I'm so grateful for the
community that I built.

- Yes, but how did you build it?

- Build is the wrong word.

It's the community I've
fostered, really.

Those who want more out of life

tend to seek a guide of some
sort

and well, that's where I come
in.

- I always thought people
who took yoga classes

just wanted to get in shape.

- Well, you'd be surprised.

Though I do see many who believe
that's why they're there.

It doesn't take them long to
realize

there is so much more to be
gained.

What are our bodies but
vehicles for our souls.

I mean, we really just need them

to get from point A to point B.

- How fucking old am I, I
can't even tie my own shoe.

Thank you for hanging back.

- Oh no, thank you for the
opportunity.

- I know this is so annoying.

Like, this was supposed to
be like a party weekend.

I was specifically told
that I could be drunk

for two days straight.

And here I am, like hiking
outside.

Honestly, this much fresh
air will make me throw up.

- I know it's the worst.

Emily's just, I hate how
she's being around her.

You know, we never get to
spend a weekend together

and she's just making it
terrible.

- Kali, can I ask you something?

It's a little embarrassing, but

do you remember me?

I did one of your soul chats.

We talked about my engagement
and you burned some money.

- Yeah, the soul chat's

are meant to be strictly
confidential,

and as such, I willed
myself to forget them

as soon as they are done.

But maybe I remember you just a
little.

- Do I wish I was reping people

doing something more important.

Yes, but I don't know, it's
fun and I'm good at it.

It's, I dunno, works for now.

- That's nice.

- Dar, I know you hate the
hosting gig.

Okay, but it's not forever,
okay, you won't be pigeonholed.

Just think of this as
like a jumping off point

for something way more rad.

- Thanks Leggy.

- I know this weekend is awful.

- It's so awful.
- Terrible.

She's crazy, right?

I think it's.

- Yeah, it's terrible.

- Let's begin.

Close your eyes.

Check in with your mind.

Check in with your breath.

Is there something that
is distracting you?

Acknowledge that thought
and wave it goodbye.

Put your hand on your chest.

This is yours.

This is your heart.

It is precious,

but it is temporary.

When you listen too long to
another's,

yours becomes obsolete.

You sacrifice yourself
and lose all who you are.

And then what is the point in
living?

That is supposed to be on
airplane mode.

- Sorry.

I actually need to take this.

- Oh, we are not done here.

- Oh, you can keep going on
without me.

Hey, I told you I'm in Vermont

for my girlfriend's bachelorette
weekend.

No, yeah, no I told you.

That was this weekend too?

I completely forgotten.

Hey, Kels, I can't, I can't
really hear.

I'm losing, I'll call you,

I'll call you when I get back to
the city.

- Didn't mean to interrupt.

- That's okay.

- It's all right, I let myself
in?

- Yes, of course.

What's the situation
with the reception here?

It's pretty terrible.

- It's not terrible.

Shoot actually,

maybe the line's down.

- Great.

- I heard the others outside.

- Oh yeah, they're doing a
meditation.

I think they're about to
rip each other's hearts out

like in that, "Indiana Jones"
movie.

- Oh.

Sounds like a violent
bachelorette weekend.

- Yeah, it might be.

- Hey guys.

Dar, they're about to
start another yoga class.

If you wanna join in.

- Not a chance.

Where are you going?

- I am truly not sure if
there's enough alcohol

for me to get through this
weekend,

but I'm gonna go find out.

- Okay, sounds good.

- I should go fix this light
bulb.

- Travis, can we use the
fire pit that's up there?

- Oh, sure.

I could come by around the
dark and get it going for you.

- Okay.

Yeah, well then we'll see you
after dark.

- One's life is not measured
by the number of days,

but by the number of breaths.

Hey.

Thanks for helping out this
weekend.

- Kali, you posted a video
81 and a half days ago

that really, really spoke to me

when you talked about how to
enter a field

with peaceful intent.

And I wanted you to know you
were.

And I want you to know, a couple
weeks ago

I actually entered a parking
lot,

but like, I got out.

That was me doing it.

You know, that was
really, you know, I just,

hey, have you tried Oh Crap?

I don't know, I just feel like,

and I mean, it's just, I
mean, it was a total accident.

You know, had to go to the
bathroom.

I fell in the feces and it would
just,

I just think.

The pores felt open.

And your pores, well, they're
open,

but I mean, like, Oh Crap.

Your heart is so open and your
pores,

I mean, your skin's amazing,
but your pore you, you just,

- I just really need a moment of
solitude.

- Hey, it's okay.

Sorry.

- It's fine.

She just needed a second.

It's not anything personal.

You're good.

You're good.
- She didn't like it.

She doesn't like it.

- No, she does.

- Yeah, she hasn't even tried
it.

You're good.

- Yeah.

- How was yoga?

- Oh, don't say it like that.

- Like what?

- Nevermind.

How was your urgent phone call?

- Ah, just work stuff, no
biggie.

- Why are you so uncomfortable
with being honest?

- I'm not uncomfortable.

Did Kali say something?

- Did that phone call
have anything to do with

why you didn't think you'd
make it this weekend?

- Em, I said, I don't wanna talk
about it.

- If you don't express
yourself, it'll just fester.

- Yeah, ditto.

- Breathe in and breathe out.

Thank you for trusting me
with your practice today.

And as you go out into
the world, ask yourself,

"Who am I?"

Drop a comment below.

Love to yourself and to others.

Namaste.

- This is good.

It's good energy.

We're we're gonna eat this
delicious meal

made by our good buddy.

- Oh, no thank you, I'm fasting.

- Yep, okay.

- I can't imagine it's gonna
be that fun to watch us eat.

- I'm very disciplined.

- Of course.

Well, shall I?

- Well.
- Yeah, let's cheers.

There are good ships and cruise
ships

and ships that sail to sea.

And the best ships are
friendships,

some may be all we need.
- And cheers to Kali

for being here and being so
amazing.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Sure.

Okay, very, yeah.

- So, I made the salad
even though I hate salad.

- I'm so excited for wings.

- Thank you.

- Leggy, is this like a recipe

you followed from a cookbook or?

- I made it up.

- Oh.

- I once ate chicken wings on a
first date

and everyone thought that
was like really brave

and I just did it.

- Wow.
- That is.

- I don't know about brave.

- It's a bold choice.

- Would you go on
a second date with me?

- I would definitely go
on a second date with you.

Wow, that is, did you crack that
bone?

All right, I'm gonna try it.

- It's okay.

It's just, actually, can
I have the green beans?

- That's asparagus.

- Oh, asparagus.

- Oh, don't sniff it.

Don't want you getting all
tempted.

- So fleshy?
- Who wanted that?

- Excuse me.

- Guess she wasn't that
disciplined.

- I mean, what the fuck was that
about?

- Because fasting is also not
fun.

- So I think the
fire's just about set.

- Looks pretty.

- It's beautiful.

- That's about it.

You ladies have a good night
now.

- Okay, thank you, Travis.

Good night.

- You should stay.

- I don't mind, it's rough.

- Shut up, just stay, it's a
party.

- Stay, stay.

- Does anyone play guitar?

- Ooh.

- Kali, Kali right.

- I can play the sitar.

- Oh, sitar shucks, we left that
at home.

Okay, guitar, Travis?

- Sorta.

- Oh my gosh play, "MMMBop."

- Oh, "Orion" by Metallica.

- Guys, what do you think?

"Orion" by Metallica, or?

- Play us "Run the Game."

- Wow, we are really winning.

- Can you play any Dylan?

- Legally, no, but

- What about, "Neutral Milk
Hotel?"

- What?

"Neutral Milk Hotel?"

- What's so weird about that?

- Well, it's a little serious

and shitty.
- It's dark.

- Leg, I mean, come on,
it's just a little weird

you wanna listen to the
song about Anne Frank

at my bachelorette weekend?

- Well, why?

- It's a little depressing.

- Yeah, it's just like.

- Yeah, we just, we love
you for who you are inside.

- And who is that?

- Oh, you're the one who
reminds us to have a good time.

- Cool.

That's all you guys ever
really think of me, right.

The party girl who used to boof

at the sick, high rush parties.

- It was awesome, yeah.
- Yeah.

- What?

I am so sick and tired of you
guys not taking me seriously.

- Like, you know, I have
like a very legit job now

and I'm doing really well.

And I have to be organized
and responsible and clever

and I'm really fucking

good at it.

- You are.

- And I'm sorry, I just wanted
to have

a fun weekend with my friends.

- All right.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna go inside.

- Leggy.
- What?

- No.

Like he'll play it.
- Yeah.

- Leggy we can play it.

It'll be like really mellow.

- Actually, I think I
figured out the chords

to that one Dylan song.

- We should probably go
make sure Allegra's okay.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, definitely.

- Hey, can we try this again
tomorrow?

- I'll see you at dark?

- Yeah, I'll see you Travis.

Ugh.

- It looks like it's just you.

I guess I'll go fuck myself.

- Your body is made up of 80% of
water.

We should only be ingesting
water-based molecules

and plant-based proteins.

Having meat is murder.

Would you eat your family dog?

- No.

- Would you take your family's
animals

and brutally turn them inside
out, shredding them to pieces,

ripping off their hair,
taking out their insides

and serving it on a plate?

Is just the same as if
you were to eat a human.

Or your cat, would you rip
the heart out of your pet cat?

Would you eat it?

But you sat there and
you ate that chicken?

- Never thought of it like that
before.

Maybe I'll go vegan.

- Well, as much as I love
being traumatically shamed

for eating meat, I'm gonna go to
bed.

- Leggy, I'm really sorry
about teasing you from before.

- It's okay.

- Yeah, we're so sorry.

And we know you're not a party
girl

like a hundred percent of the
time.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- God, I forgot how sensitive
she can be.

- Aw, it's been a while

since we've all been together
like this.

You know, I think tensions,
emotions are just running high.

- Yeah.

No, you're right, Dar.

But I'm just surprised you
went to bed so early though.

That's crazy.

- I don't know, it's kinda late.

Maybe we should all go to
bed and just get some sleep.

Fresh start tomorrow.

- I'm not tired.

- Me neither.

- Yeah, Dar, you just go
on and go to bed, yeah.

- I can stay up with you guys.

- No, no, I mean you should get

some really good sleep tonight.

And like you were saying,
emotions are running so high

and yeah, go on.

- Okay.

Don't stay up too late.

- Okay wait, so beeswax.

- Mm-hmm.

- That's something like
absolutely stay away from.

- That's murder.

- Never have I ever
not let someone do cocaine

out of my butt crack.

- So you have.
- Did, done.

Like I haven't not let them.

- So every time they have to do
cocaine?

- Just wanted to tell
us that you let someone.

- I just wanted to tell you
guys.

- Okay, so we all drink.

- Why do we all drink?

I didn't do that.

- The story of me doing Coke.

- Well drink.

- Okay.

You got me.

- What the hell?

Was that a car door?

- Leggy did say she had a
surprise.

- No, that's never good.

- No.
- Yeah,

I think it's really good.

- I wonder what it is.

- You guys, there's like a cop
here.

- I got a package,

I got a package for a woman
named Emily.

Is that you, Gucci queen?

- No, this is really
embarrassing.

I am engaged to be married next
week.

- Gucci queen.

Ooh.

- This is a pretty big package.

You sure you can handle this?

- Yes.

She'll be fine.

- Do it, do it, I dare you.

- I told you no strippers.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Boom.

Oh, come here.

Oh yeah, it's really hot in
here.

- Oh, no, no.

- What is going on here?

- I know you've been trying
to stamp on the party,

but the party train is full
steam ahead.

I'm the captain.

Chugga, chugga choo, choo.

- You know you can touch
it, you can look at it.

- Chugga, chugga, chugga.

- It's just a little harmless
fun.

- Fun?

This is supposed to be fun for
you?

- Okay bitch, you're
really killing the vibe.

You all act like you wanna be
better,

but you don't really, you
just do whatever you wanna do,

no consequences.

- God, this is a bachelorette
weekend.

You should have known
what you signed up for.

All you do is sit around
and just like judge us

and make us feel like
we're not good enough,

and we are.

- You're not.

- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Go, go, go, go, go.

Drink it, touch it.

- Hey, can I sit?

- Go for it.

They're not coming out here?

- Nope.

They've got enough
entertainment up in there.

I've never met my followers in
real life.

Did you think they're all like
this?

- Like what?

- Basic bitches.

- They're not basic bitches,

they're interesting.

One of them got a pass now.

- Travis, they're repulsed by
you.

- Not Darcy.
- Don't Travis.

- What?

- Oh, you stay away from her,
Travis.

- I didn't tell her nothing.

- Don't get any closer, I mean
it.

- They got that guy up
there?

- They sure do.

Why?

Does that bother you?

- I don't like it.

- It's filthy.

Those women, they're disgusting.

Disgusting.

Oh, Travis,

you said it yourself,

they're up there having
the time or their lives,

paying someone to act interested
in them.

Darcy's kind of the worst of
all, huh.

I think I saw him ratting
on her before I left.

- Why did you bring them
to the house anyway?

What do you need my help with?

- I asked you here to help me

and I know you'll and
I need you, all right.

- You think they even
know that I'm your brother?

- Oh, don't worry about it,
Travis.

It's just better that way.

Which one of them's got
them brass knuckles?

- Oh my God.

- Okay.

Hey, get up.

Okay.

Okay.

Wake up.
- No.

No, fuck off.

It's early, stop

- Please.

- No, shut up.

- Okay.

I will do it.

Get up.

Leggy, where's the guy?

- Travis?

Fuck if I know.

- No, the stripper guy.

- He has a name.

- What's his name?

- I don't know.

- Classy.

- Shut up.

- No, you shut up.

Where is he?

- I don't know.

He probably went back from
wherever he came from.

- Yeah.

Well his car is still here.

- Car is still here?

- Yes, it's in the
driveway.

- He's in the driveway.

- Did I miss the sun salutation?

- All right, everybody, we're
getting up.

We are searching the house.

We are gonna find this stripper.

We gotta search the whole house.

- Emily you watch way too
many of those crime shows.

- Thank God someone does.

And if there's one thing I've
learned

is that people wait too
long to do something.

And if your gut tells
you something's wrong,

you have to act on it.

- But what if yours is the
only gut with a problem?

- I don't think she is the
only gut with a problem.

- Okay, ew, disgusting.

- Don't make
me pull the bride card.

- No, well what about Kali?

- She pulled the card.
- Get up.

- Where is that bitch?

- Okay, please.
- She's probably meditating.

- Okay, be careful.

Text me when you get there.

- I'm so tired right now.

- I know, it feels like
they really need you.

- I know.

Okay.

- Okay.

- All right.

I can do this.

- You should go.

- Who are you?

- No, not in there?

Next go.

- Not in here.

- All right.

Kali, are you in here?

I'm going in.
- Calm down.

I'm going in.

- Okay, well no, let's just
maybe knock one more time.

- Kali, Kali, Kali, Kali, Kali.

Fuck it.

Ooh.
- Please don't touch anything.

Okay.
- Love it.

- Should we check the closet?

- No, I'm not a psychopath.

What do you think she does with
this?

- Just, oh my God.

Put that down.

I don't want her to see it.

- Whoa.

That is a.
- By all means,

please continue to go
in my personal space.

- Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Kali,

we're just, we're here

because the stripper from
last night is missing.

- Missing.

- Yeah.

So his car is here, but he is
gone.

And on the, "Chilling Killings
of Duluth"

there was this guy, he was
a prostitute and he also.

- That's not the same thing.

- Okay, he was a prostitute and
he went missing the next day

and he didn't return.

And it just like has really
freaked out

and we trying to figure out.
- Maybe we can do

some meditation.

- Yeah, that'll find him.

Okay.

Okay.

- So sorry.

I really am so sorry.

I told her not to touch it.

- Basic bitches.

- I feel like absolute shit.

- Yeah, you're not looking that
great.

- Did she make you check the
closets?

- No, I'm not a psychopath.

- Thank you.

- Okay ladies, listen up.

We have a missing person on our
hands.

Yep and we gotta think of
something.

We have to think of something.

- Okay.

- I have an idea.

- What?
- I have an idea.

- Share it with us.

- Do you have pictures of him?

- Yeah, on Craigslist.

- Great, great.

So what if we made lost stripper
posters

and we hung them around?

What?

- Wait, you're not joking?

- No.

Why are you marketing?
- Oh my gosh.

I feel like people would
think that was a joke?

- No.

And make him look legit.

- Honey, I'm not gonna knock a
good idea.

But that's not a good idea.

What if he's like in the woods,

we're gonna like hang him in the
woods?

- He probably just went
out for a nice stroll

and he'll be back.

- He'll be back.

- Yeah.

And you all were flying
high as a kite last night.

So you're not one to talk.

You have a literal dick
on your face right now.

- Guys, there's a
potential kidnapper on the
loose.

- Do I have a dick on my face?
- Emily,

that doesn't even make any
sense.

Yeah, you do, it's fine.

- We have to do something, okay.

We can't just let poor, what's
his name, out in the woods,

maybe by himself getting chopped
up.

- What you wanna do, call the
cops?

- Yeah, I already did.

- What?
- What?

- And fun fact about that is
that

even though the service sucks
out here,

a call to 911 without signal
is routed as a distress call.

To the nearest tower.

- You are actually insane.

- We have too much stuff here.

We can't have a cops show up.

- Okay, well maybe you
should have thought of that

before bringing drugs to
my bachelorette weekend.

- I didn't bring drugs.

- All right Emily, just call
them back

and tell them we don't need them
okay.

Just call them back.

- Fuck, hide the drugs.

- Hello ma'am.

We got a call about a missing
person.

- Yes, we're looking for a cop.

- Well, good news.

I am a cop.

- Not a cop, a UPS employee.

Right.
- What?

- Technically I think I
think more of a mailman.

- Really?

- He was.
- Okay, okay.

Let's play a little game
called want of you speak.

Who placed the call?

- That would be me.

So officer, we met a man last
night who's now gone missing?

- How long has this man you
met last night gone missing?

- Well, somewhere between
the hours of four and six.

- Mm, somewhere between
the hours of four and six,

every other Tuesday, my wife
goes missing,

and she's not really
missing, she's at a hotel

and the parking lot smells like
urine

and the swimming pool
smells like second chances,

so I'm told.

- Do you think he's there?

- What?

- Look, here's the way it rolls
in a small town like this.

I need 48 hours, that's two
days,

see, we have an education system
too,

to report anyone as a missing
person.

So gimme two days and
then I can do my job.

- That just seems like a really
long time.

- Yeah, I mean.

- And he's gone now and you
know.

- Yeah officer, his car.
- Look, I can

take down some information.

All right, let's do that

and then I'll file a Missing
Person Report two days.

- But something you should know

is that his car is here but he
is not.

- And that's the thing.

- So, that's why we're freaked
out.

- Yeah, his car's here.

- Okay.
- Can't find him.

- Again, you know what?

I'll take some information
down, but I still need two days.

So just gimme some facts.

- It's Bobby.

- Bobby.
- Bobby.

- I don't think that's right.
- Peter.

- Peter.
- Peter.

Peter, it's Peter.

- Bobby, Peter.

- Yeah I knew it is one
of the Farley brothers.

- A stage name.

- Okay.
- What's a stage name?

- He's about like this tall.

About like.
- Shorter than you.

Six and a half inches.

- Yeah, pretty average.

Completely hairless.

Like completely.

- He was, he was totally.

- Like his whole body was.

- This is a personal
choice thing going on.

- Okay.
- You know.

- His was too.

- So yeah.

- I'll go look around
for this Bobby, Peter

with no chest hair.

- This is him.

- Jesus Christ.

Ladies, does anybody go
to church in this group?

- That was a lot of house.

- It's okay, Emily.

He probably just wandered off.

I'm sure he'll come back.

- I don't know.

Maybe Emily's right, I
figure this is foul play.

- Thank you.

- Oh my God, do you
think someone hurt Bobby?

- Peter.

- Oh, thank God, do
you think someone hurt Peter?

- I mean, I didn't.

But who do we know who's in the
vicinity,

who clearly didn't like Peter
last night?

- Wait, did Travis even meet
Peter?

- No, no, not Travis, Kali.

- Dar, I think that chick is
crazy too.

But I let it slip to Travis
last night that I got a stripper

and he seemed really weird about
it.

- Oh my God.

Okay, there's no way that you
think Kali

did something to Peter.

That is, that's absolutely
insane.

- What?

Yes, I can.

Didn't you hear what she said
last night?

"You should all be ashamed of
yourself."

- Darcy, why do you hate her?

- I don't hate her. I just don't
love her.

You've been so blind this
weekend

because you're obsessed with
her.

- Okay Darcy, I admit she's not

what I thought she'd be either.

But you've been negative about
her ever since we got here.

- Yes, yes.
- Wow, Dar.

This is like the one weekend
we get to spend with her.

- I haven't spent time
with you in over a year.

And you keep putting the
stranger above everything else.

- She's not a stranger.

- Oh, she's not?

- No.
- She is, Emily.

My God, just because
you spend all your time

consuming her on Instagram,

does it mean you actually know
her?

I think Lulu's right,

I think you are jealous.

- Oh, I'm jealous.
- Yeah.

- I'm so jealous.

- But not because of our
relationship,

but because of how vulnerable
she is

and how authentic she is.
- Oh yeah.

- And you know what?

Guess what, Darcy?

No one made you do that dumb
cooking show.

- Oh, there it is.

There it is.

Screw you Emily.

And the two of you staying
neutral isn't neutral.

Fuck off.

Assholes.

- I was about to jump in.

- Whatever.

- It's ridiculous.

So typical.

- Is everything okay?

- It's fine.
- No, everything's not okay.

Our best friend just ran away.

And my potential soulmate is
missing.

- Potential soulmate?

- Anybody can be a
potential soulmate, okay.

- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

- Yeah, it's fine, it's fine.

She just had to have a moment.

But we're gonna get through it.

- You will.

Well, perhaps someone
should go off to her.

- Don't pretend like you
care about Darcy now.

- Oh, I'm so sorry if
I was upset last night.

But it does make me sick to my
stomach

thinking someone may have
gotten hurt on this trip.

- Guys, whose bag is
this?

This wasn't here before.

- I don't know.

- Yeah.
- Am I crazy?

- I don't know, is it Peter's
bag?

- I don't know.

Did he have a bag on him?
- I don't know.

Open it.
- Okay.

- Oh God what is that?

Oh God, that is blood.

Oh my God, I knew it, I knew it.

This is a real crime scene shit.

- Stop talking about
that show.

- Okay, okay.

We have to call the police now.

- And tell them what?

There's cleaning supplies in our
Airbnb.

No, no, no, no.

It's like what Dino said about
the bears.

maybe it's like that.

- Dino, what?

- Okay, somebody has gotta go
after Darcy.

- Okay.

- Right.

So some of us should go and
some should stay behind.

- Oh my God.

Okay, okay.
- Okay.

- I will stay.

I would like to purify the
air after last night's filth.

- Right.

- Go.

- Okay, okay, we'll go.

- I'll stay behind and wait for
Darcy

while Boulevard here
shakes her crystals around.

- Funny.

- Where'd she go?

- I don't know, but we
should probably split up.

- No, no, no, no, no, we can't
all die.

- Listen, listen, please listen.

You go that way.

I'll go that way.

We'll find her quicker.
- No, no, no, no.

- Would you feel better if you'd
something

to protect yourself?

- Maybe.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Go grab the tire iron.

- Oh, it's in the trunk.

- Okay, okay, it's about five
o'clock.

If you don't find her in a half
hour,

come back to the house, okay.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- You shouldn't be back here.

- I just had to get outta the
house.

- Did something happen?

- Yeah, my friends are morons.

We've been best friends for like
10 years

and they're choosing this girl

who's basically a cult leader
over me,

even though she's clearly
deranged

and probably kidnapped
the stripper or something.

Oh yeah, and the stripper is
missing.

- Are you okay?

- I'm pissed.

- I don't understand why they
keep believing her bullshit.

She's just so fake.

- That really bothers you.

- You live out here, right?

- Back that way a little bit.

- It's kind of freezing.

Do you think we could go?

- I wanna show you something
first.

- Where are they?

- Breathe in.

Breathe out.

- So beautiful.

- You're so warm.

You must be real.

- They think I'm jealous of
Kali.

- Are you?

- No.

I don't know.

Maybe a little bit.

But I wouldn't accuse someone of
foul play

just out of jealousy.

- I mean, people even kill
sometimes out of jealousy.

But you shouldn't be jealous of
her.

- I guess.

I don't know, it's not
even that, it's just like.

- What's wrong?

What are you doing?

- I'm,

I'm.

- Oh, okay.

What am I doing?

I'm gonna, I'm,

thank you, I'm gonna get
back to my friends, thanks.

- Don't go back.

- What are you talking about?

- I can give
you a ride somewhere,

just please don't.

- Okay, you're kind of freaking
me out.

- Go back to the house.
- Do you know something?

What are you saying?

- You need to leave.

Just go.
- Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.
- Please, please, please.

- Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Oh my God, you're alive.

- Of course I'm alive.

- Right, I knew you were,

but Emily was freaking out
and then we found this stuff

in the house and.
- Like stuff?

- Yeah, like stuff.

- Hey, you mind if I come back
in now?

- Yeah, why?

- Your friend Kali told me
I had to leave this morning.

She said go take a hike.

I went and hiked through
the woods all day,

but she said I could
come back at night, so.

- I need to figure out
what's going on, I'm sorry.

- Tell Allegra I said, hey.

Allegra.

- Oh yeah, fuck this.

- It's just a little bit of
harness fun.

- Darcy.

- Emily.

Allegra.

Hello.

Where are you guys?

- Oh, oh, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, Leggy.

Leg, Leg, Leggy, it's okay.

It's okay Leggy.

It's okay.

Lu.

Emily.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

Oh Lu, no, no, no Lu.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Lulu.

It's okay, it's okay, Lu, Lu,

I need you to get up right now.

I need you to get up right now
okay.

I need you to get up lulu.

We need to go.
- Hello Darcy.

- You.

I knew it.

Everyone said it was Travis.

- Guess my brother wasn't
worthless after all.

- Your brother?

- Listen, I gotta make this
quick.

- Fuck.

Please.

- What did you do?

- Oh, come on, I
couldn't save just one

because you liked her.

- Darcy.

- Give it up Trav, she's
dead.

- Darcy.

- Jesus Travis, help me move the
body

before the other ones get back.

Oh, Travy.

You don't wanna do this.

Release me.

- I don't need you.

You need me.

- Oh my God.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh my God.

I just hope Kali's okay.

She was so freaked out.

I just wish she would reach out,
you know,

like we went through
this thing together and,

I dunno.

- And maybe she will
reach out in her own time.

Some people just need more time.

- Yeah, I know.

I just hope she's okay.