All language subtitles for Billions.S01E11.1080p.Bluray.x265-HiQVE

Previously on
Billions...

- Cancer?
- Yeah.

- Shit.
- Pancreatic.

Walter and the kids
gonna have enough?

Nobody's gonna starve,
but I could've done better.

Forty million.

What if we could get you there?

It won't be simple.
It'll require deception.

And your final weeks and months,
they won't be your own.

BobbyAxelrod used Donnie
to feed us information

that he would never live to testify to.

Donnie's gone.

How long you figure it's been
since we've had a session?

I made some decisions.

You shuttered it.

Selling the farm, too.

You know, if you had
listened to me in the first place

and hadn't blown up the deal
with Axelrod,

we would not be in this spot,
would we?

The game has changed,
and you haven't changed with it.

Your advice is no longer welcome.

It was hard on Donnie,

not being able to tell you.

Did other people know?

Hey.
What are you doing here?

He is a candidate
for a drug trial in Pittsburgh

that's been yielding some
pretty interesting results.

Kind of rough for a guy
who's been through a lot already.

It can be.

Maybe we shouldn't bring it up.

What the fuck?

- Mafee wants to see you.
- I just waved him in.

He wanted me to ask you permission.

Permission for what?

He comes in here all the fucking time.

Door's always open.
You know that. I love Mafee.

He wants to talk about BioLance.

Oh.
Well, in that case, fire him.

Yeah. He said that you said
he's not allowed to bring it up.

No, he can, if he wants to get fired.

Right, but if he doesn't bring it up,

he thinks you're gonna lose 400 million.

And since he's executing the trade...

He thinks I'll fire him then.

Sticky.

I can see how that's sticky.

Can he come in?

Of course. I love Mafee.

It's okay?

We'll see.

Axe, special announcement call

from BioLance is in nine minutes.

I've been losing sleep over it,
and I sleep like a bear.

Brown or polar?

Which hibernate?

They all hibernate.

They're bears.

Then both, but not lately.

Uh-huh.

I can pare our position before the call.

We can still make ten percent.

If we hold and I'm right,
what do we make then?

We double our money.

If we were a benchmark fund,
ten would be great.

But we are no benchmark fund.

I'm just afraid we're gonna lose.

All my research is telling me
that approval is a coin flip.

Right. Do Ben Kim
and all the other analysts agree with you?

To a man.

First, I told you yesterday
and the day before

that I understood the risks.

I've done the channel checks.
I've done the homework.

BioLance's inhibitor
is gonna be lights out.

Six other companies have
inhibitors in the works.

Only one's gonna win approval
and market share.

That's why I think
we should wait, get in later.

Oh.
Second, you're fired.

I'm fired?

That's what he said.

We're already in BioLance.
That's where the win is.

I-I just don't see
what the difference maker is.

I'm the difference maker.

I tried.

You tried.

And now I'm fired.

Good-bye, Mafee.

The next voice you hear

will be the BioLance CEO,
Brooks Wellever.

So you all know

how important the development
of our SGLT 2 inhibitor

for treatment of Type 2 diabetes is
to this company,

how deep our investment has been.

And I wish I had better news.

We were just notified by the FDA
that we were denied approval.

Fuck.

We estimate a time
horizon of five more years

to complete fixes.

But at our current burn rate of cash,

we only have three years
of operating ex...

What's the damage?

Stock is halted until the morning,
but there are no bids in sight.

- It's gonna be ugly.
- Shit.

Four hundred
and thirty-million-dollar loss.

Could turn into twice that.

What are you doing?

You fired me.

You know never to listen to me
about shit like that

between 9:30 and 4.

How could I fire you?

I love you, Mafee.

http://hiqve.com/

- Hey.
- Wendy.

Oh, I am so glad
you're thinking about us.

Hey, Roma wants to give you
the tour herself.

How are you?

Work is a happy place now.

Come on, I'll introduce you.

Great space.

I have an eye for it,
even better one for talent.

I knew that as soon
as you snagged Maria.

She's a perfect fit.

We value fit, culture, more than most.

That's why 60% or so
of our PMs are women.

Makes it easier to practice
socially responsible investing.

Is that the mission?

The mission is profit.

But me and a few of the senior partners,
we came up at a time

when Wall Street was
all cock and balls

and no brains.

We try to practice
with a little less ego around here

in a more collaborative,
inclusive environment.

But it's a delicate balance.

You don't want a bunch
of guys running around

with sawed-offshotguns,

but you don't want scented candles
and an aversion to risk either.

That's for fucking sure.

We need someone to curate
that balance,

someone who's been through the wars,
who's seen the other side.

You want me to make
your people assassins.

We want them to be able
to access that mentality when needed,

with great accuracy.

Yeah, assassins.
It's kind of my specialty.

I know.

No other performance coach
in the industry would be a better fit.

And you're already an investor.

We need you, and you want to be here.

I'm curious. Why do you think
you know what I want?

I mean, it's a hard thing
to know even about oneself.

I'm a stock picker and an instinct trader.

Am I wrong?

Look...

we believe there's a better way.

Life doesn't have to be a zero-sum game.

Go. Think.

Let me know.

Brownstone off the Promenade.

Sometimes I forget which caste
you belong to, Chuck.

Ah.

This is a hell of a reminder.

Where'd your dad practice
internal medicine...

the rough side of Highland Park?
Huh?

I have to admit, you surprise me,
even for a man in your position.

There's not many who could cast a spell
and make a federal judge disappear.

There are no other men in my position...

...for I also know

the name being nominated
in committee to replace Wilcox.

Ah.

And let me be the first
to congratulate you.

Thank you.

It's as it should be.

You happy?
You should be happy.

I'd be laughing like Hank Kingsley
if I were in your Florsheims.

"Hey, now!"

Hey, these are Ferragamos.

I like to laugh, too.

But lately...

- Yes, lately.
- And I worry.

With you out of the AG's office,

she'll be even less likely to look kindly
on the work I need to do,

especially when it diverges from...

Whatever whims she
and the White House might have.

Mm.

I was wondering
when the actual tat would come.

Or is this the tit?

When it comes to picking
your replacement,

I need someone
who'll look out for me in D.C.

So you want to pick?

I know a few likely candidates.

I'll need you to foam the runway
for that replacement

on your way out.

Is this really still about Axelrod?

What, he's that much of a burr
under your saddle?

It's about justice.

Of course.

If, as you say, my name's
already been put forth,

I'm not sure what leverage
you still have.

I wanted to tell you this in person
to see exactly how badly you want it.

It would be brutal
to have it get this close

only to stall in Judicial Committee.

The Senate is so polarized these days.

Judgeships get held hostage for...

...months, years.

Are you saying you can guarantee
I sail through committee?

"Guarantee" is a word
that amateurs use in politics.

But I can make it
so that Senator Vandeveer

takes you by the hand
and drags you to the bench.

And what I have to do to get that done
will not be pleasant.

It'll be quite odious,
so I need your assurance.

I'll do it.

But about Axelrod and finding
a way to leg back in...

L-let me be General Bradley
to your Patton

and advise you to practice restraint.

Ah.

Oh, it was good advice
when Omar Bradley gave it.

Safe.

And one of them died
a well-respected and admired general,

and the other one died a legend.

You name my pick for replacement.

I'll lock in your appointment.

And then I'll worry
about the rest from there.

I won't lie.

Having a Michelin chef in house,

it would be an excellent recruiting tool.

What do you think?

Oh, it's a great kitchen.

Love the La Cornue.

But I would really miss,
you know, real people...

"gastros" who light up when they
eat something really special.

You go private serving guys
that might just have

whatever for lunch...

You could lead the effort
to expand our horizons.

Don't let her offthe hook, Lar.

I won't.
We'll talk soon.

Yeah, thanks.

You know, when people
ask you what you think,

you don't really have to tell them.

I could've said a lot more.

Give him some fucking space!

Give me a sec.

Hey.

Something wrong?

Bad day.
Something happened.

Something serious?

I can't make it to Lilly's tonight.

Really?

What happened?

I blew a read, badly.

And I know the reason
wasn't in the numbers.

It was in here.
I'm gonna fix it.

Wendy?

I don't like it.

This isn't three years ago, you know.

She's at odds with you,
with herself, over this battle.

You can't trust her.

Well, she's the only one
who can give me what I need right now.

I know.

She's gonna ask you about Donnie.

You new here?

Maybe.

Nice.

Now all we need is a pole.

I can't cook for a bunch of animals

who will eat anything,
shit on anything, fuck anything.

Don't be ignorant.
That's just a stereotype.

Okay, you hate the place. Fine.

I was just trying to help
with your situation.

Well, I wouldn't have a situation
if it weren't for this place.

Well, you probably wouldn't have
your own kitchen

for another ten years either.

Look, I'm sorry.

But what happened
to my badass big sister

who says what she wants
and doesn't waste two shits

on what the world thinks of her?

I'm right here in front of you.

When's the last time you even hung out
in the old neighborhood?

What are we supposed to do,

go back to fucking McCrory's
and shoot pool with the guys?

And the night takes shape.

So?

We break it down.

Put it in boxes.

Well, this is where we get off, Dale.

This tight little team can handle it.

FBI doesn't do clerical?

Not on this one.
It's, uh, too sad.

Yeah, since it's over,
I'm supposed to start

on this synthetic-marijuana thing
up in Orangeburg.

Oh, it's not over.

When it starts going back
into boxes, it's over.

The FDA adverse reporting
database flagged 20 cases

of acidosis associated
with similar SLGT2s.

It was in the file.

Yeah, we didn't fuck up.
He did.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, thanks for coming back.

Hope you didn't get all the way home.

Where were you?

I'm here now.

Hey, everybody,
you can go home. Thanks.

I made a mistake today
that I shouldn't have.

It could cost me a billion dollars
after we've sifted through the wreckage.

That's quite a mistake.

I need an adjustment.

You're finally ready for a real session.

Yeah.

If I talk it through with you,

sharpen my focus,

I'll be able to start
digging out tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Yeah, I already know the reason
I made the mistake was mental error.

Now I just need to find out
why I wanted to make it.

This might take a while.

Hey.

Carrie?

Uh...

I was waiting for Wendy.

Yeah, she called, said you were
both gonna be out.

Yes, I have things to do.

I thought she was in
with the kids tonight.

Must've gotten our signals crossed.

Her thing sounded kind of last-minute.

Okay.

Must've had this on silent.

Uh...

the kids are already in their rooms.

Eva's asleep.
Kevin might want another story.

Uh...

would you mind
cleaning up the dog food?

Thank you.

See you later.

Tell me about today.

If you're successful enough,

people think you can do anything,

and then you start to believe it, too.

You mean you do.

I'm not Superman.
That's what I'm trying to get across.

But today?

I might've forgotten.

It's hard not to engage
in a little magical thinking

when everyone else is looking at you
like you're some combination

of Warren Buffett and God above.

I don't buy that.

Magical thinking is...

if I clean the house,
then school gets canceled tomorrow.

And this?

I'm not wishing or guessing,
and I'm not usually wrong.

And when you are,
you take your medicine and move on.

It's what makes you great.

But today, your own words,

you missed something.

Somehow the idea that all the guys...

I asked Mafee,

and the moment he said
that everyone else agreed

that it was the wrong move...

...I had to stick it out,

had to prove that I was
the difference maker.

To who?

Mafee? Danzig?

Of course not.

I agree.
They all idolize you already.

It wasn't about proving anything
to any of them.

Look, you want me to fix
the part of you that makes money.

But it is attached to the rest, so...

Like I said, this is gonna
take a little while.

Why do I hate
these guys so much?

Well, they're criminals...

and they're a lot richer than you.

Are we really doing
what we're doing...

for the reasons we say?

Well, you mean does making
these arrests, dealing fines,

actually do anything
to keep markets fair?

When you put it like that...

This kid I went to school with,

Jim Gagne...

most brilliant guy I've ever met.

Gagne was a double major
in chemical engineering and premed.

I felt like he was gonna cure cancer.

Well, cancer's still going last I checked.

He's no scientist.

He works the medical sector
for Spartan-Ives,

made 20 million last year.

Society's fucked when that happens.

Incentives all out of whack.

So someone has to do something.

And we use laws and fines and jail.

We try.

Got this made 'cause I was
so fucking proud of Chuck

for pushing back.

It's Axe's settlement check,
but I forgot to give it to him

by the time it came back
from the framer,

with the, uh, Donnie of it all.

I'm gonna leave it on his desk.

I know where Chuck keeps his stash.

Come on.

Sounds dangerous.

Let's talk about you for a sec.

That's not how this works.

We've never done anything
the way it works,

and we're not exactly starting tonight.

How are you handling everything?

I want to know before we go on.

Grant me this indulgence.

The Donnie thing threw me,
to be honest.

There's an empty space
in the world without him.

The fact that...

...I missed it.

This man, this...

patient of mine, dying.

And he wouldn't let me in,

despite whatever
was going on with him...

and you.

People withhold crucial information
all the time.

We learn to manage our expectations

about those close to us, don't we?

So they don't turn into mistrust or...

paranoia.

When I was young, I figured if I was
truly there for my patients,

I could get them to be
truly open with me.

I quickly learned that's not the case,
but you still hope.

Really?

That's what you were thinking about
when you were young?

Fuck.

You chose the right line of work.

I was just thinking
about getting rich and getting even.

Have you?

Yeah, mostly.

Does it make everything all better?

Why doesn't it?

Because the world isn't simple...

...like with Donnie.

You keep going back there.

I don't think we can ignore
that you missed today,

for the first time in forever,
right after he died.

Okay, go ahead, Doctor.
You connect those dots.

Well, you used the words...

"getting even."

- When I was a kid.
- And today?

Bombing the trade,

were you somehow evening
the score for Donnie?

What does that even mean?
Donnie was a friend.

Everyone here matters to me,
and I go out of my way for all of them.

That's why I got him
the best medical care.

The same as when Mick Danzig
gets tackled on his lawn

with a machine gun
in his fucking hands.

I'm the one who pays offthe cops
to make the problem go away.

That's what I do here.

I take care of my people,

and they know that.

And so should you by now.

So are you ready to tell me

who you were trying
to prove something to?

Yeah.

Should we say it in unison?

And were you trying to prove you were
a difference maker for good or bad?

Were you trying to reward
or punish yourself?

Come on.

Where you going?

- We're not done!
- Come on!

God, that was awful.

You don't even go there anymore.

You're a Michelin chef.

You live in Bushwick with the hipsters.

The only reason we ever went there
is 'cause they didn't check IDs.

God!
What were you thinking?

I just... I thought we could do something
like we used to,

before everything was all work
and you were all...

Then let's do something, better.

Where else did we used to go?

Nowhere I want to go now.

- After you got your car...
- Oh, that fucking Fiero.

Man, we'd just drive around, joyriding.

Then let's go joyriding.

Come on. Come on!
Come on.

I thought I might not see you here
for a while.

Well, I may have been...

overly harsh with you before.

"Overly harsh"?

I don't know.
I'm...

I'm getting up there in years.

I don't really, uh, understand
these things anymore.

I don't even know why you're here.

There is a favor I need.

Ah...

Now we get to it.

What can I help you with?

I need a senator

on the Judiciary Committee

to push through a nomination...

...your senator.

And I'm supposed to just
materialize Marcia Vandeveer?

A United States senator?

And get her to do what you want?

I know that you and Marcia...

I must still know how the game works
to be able to do something like that.

I must've spent a lifetime

building relationships,

collecting chits.

Whatever law-and-order issue
that she's running on,

my office will make it a priority.

Accommodations will not be necessary,
not necessary at all.

She owes me a favor.

She'll be happy to sit with you.
I'll just give her a call.

Well, as long as it's not
too much trouble.

Anything you'd like to say to me?

Thank you, Dad.

And?

I'm sorry.

There's the boy.

No.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ Get up ♪
- Close!

♪ Ow! ♪

Oh!
Unbelievable!

I'd have given 30-to-one odds
you'd miss with the phone.

Then you are definitely
not seeing the market.

I can do a phone.

It's got to be bigger than a phone now.

♪ Well, they say it's kinda frightenin' ♪

♪ How this younger generation swings ♪

♪ You know, it's more
than just some new sensation ♪

♪ Well, the kid is into losin' sleep ♪

♪ And he don't come home
for half the week ♪

♪ You know it's more
than just an aggravation ♪

♪ And the cradle ♪

Do you remember our first building?

Ooh! Globe would've gone
through the floor.

Okay, double or nothing...
I want to do a computer.

Oh, my God, you're like Kobe
firing up shots when he's two for 18.

No doubt in your mind
the next one's going in.

Kobe?
Steph Curry, Jordan, maybe.

Don't give me Kobe.

Shooter's got to shoot.

Unwavering belief
in our own capabilities,

it's essential to a point,

keeps us functioning at a high level.

Until it isn't, right?

Maybe your self-image is creating...

a blind spot.

We're not on a break, are we?

No.

Why couldn't I have seen it before?

Well, let's assume your blind spot
usually works for you.

It's fairly essential if you don't feel
indestructible like Superman.

How are you gonna risk
billions every morning?

But it's not working for you now.

So you need to figure out

what part of your self-image is false.

And then you either need
to live up to it or lose it.

Interesting word..."false."

Like, uh...

when someone knows
that they have to tell a lover good-bye,

but they can't quite do it,

so, instead, they sleep
with them one last time.

Then they have
their own unspoken good-bye,

not letting on
that everything's changed until...

after the night is over.

I'm not sure
that's what we're discussing here.

No, maybe not.

But it came to mind, so I said it.

Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

In a sense.

Something I said?

Let's go outside.

Mm.

- That was...
- Sorry. So cliché.

Oh, the worst!

Oh.

You think Chuck's ever had sex here?

- Oh, time to leave right now.
- Ohh. Oh, God.

Oh!

- Oh.
- Oh.

I still want to do something dangerous.

Hey, Nancy. Chuck Rhoades.

Looking for Wendy.

Wondering if you knew
what she was up to.

Maybe her phone died.

Uh, anyway, when you get this,
let me know if you know.

Thanks.

I'll have, uh, another Bulleit.

All right, same thing...

splash of soda and, uh, little...
uh, little lemon zest.

- Okay.
- Oh. Will you bring us two?

Sure.

I was beginning to think
you were a no-show.

I'm beginning to wish I no-showed.

I don't see the appeal.

See it now?

Oh, Christ.
Ira.

Don't make me indict you for child porn.

She's of age.
She just sent that to me.

God bless these 23-year-olds.

They grew up with porn...

...and daddy issues.

Maybe granddaddy issues in your case.

Ow.

What do you talk
to a 23-year-old about...

Taylor Swift?

Did you meet her on Tinder?

Actually, I did.

How do you do it?
I mean, get 'em to...

swipe left or right or whatever
on a mug like yours.

You put the Porsche in the Tinder photo.

You can't be subtle on Tinder.

- Mm. Thank you.
- Wow.

Mm-hmm.

How'd it go?

Not as bad as you thought, I'm sure.

Mm.

Worse, I think.

I believe that he used "I told you so"
in all its myriad constructions.

I understand how it must make you feel
to have to ask for a favor like that.

But everyone has a roof.

Accept it.

A roof?

Those two years I was in Russia,

it was right after the Wall came down.

There was money and crazy women.

The Wild West of capitalism.

Anyway, in Russia, you had
to pay someone to protect you,

either the cops or the mob,
and then they were your "roof."

- Mm.
- That's what they called it.

You're down right now.
It's not a moment for pride.

It's a moment for, uh...

consolidation,
positioning, a little security.

Senior's your roof.

- Everyone needs a roof.
- I may need one.

It doesn't mean I have to fucking like it.

Yeah, but if you don't have a roof,

you can't be surprised
when it starts raining on you.

Well, it's like the man sang,

"It may be the Devil,
or it may be the Lord,

but you're gonna have
to serve somebody," right?

Hey.

Hi.

What do you think about that?

- All right.
- Mm-hmm.

Tyler, go to the bar.
I'll... I'll find you later.

Okay.

How are you able to keep
it so light, brother?

In law school, you were just
as weighted down as the rest of us.

Light, heavy...

- Who even thinks in those terms?
- Mm-hmm.

Weekends and on Wednesdays,
I'm with my kids, and I'm one way.

And when I'm not,
I'm here or somewhere like it.

Otherwise, what...
watch harness racing on TV?

No, you should know that that's rigged.

They can shift the results
just by dinging one wheel of the sulky.

I don't actually bet the fucking trotters.

Where are you, fella?

'Cause you're not here.

It's one thing if I check my phone.

Could be some girl telling me
she just turned 21.

What the fuck are you doing?

Wendy.

I don't...

I'm not sure where she is tonight.

Ah.

- Fuck.
- Yeah.

And, uh, it doesn't feel like
a "we're just out of pocket for a minute."

There's some kind
of continental drift going on.

Worse.

Tectonic collisions.

You know, no offense, man, but...

all of this is not for me.

So it scares the shit out of me
that it could be where I'm heading.

It's not really for anyone,

tell you the truth.

No one chooses it.

Even if they think they do
when they walk out the door, it's...

not what they think it'll be,

especially after the first few months.

Everything I said to you
about the young girls is true.

They're wild and free, and...

they'll lick your dirty places and smile.

But the one thing they are not is...

...my Elizabeth...

or Wendy.

I know.

I remember nights with Liz,
and she'd be asleep,

and I'd have all these things
that I'd want to tell her.

Then I wouldn't wake her up.

I'd just sit with it, and...

...by morning, they'd be gone.

Plowed under with the routine.

If I could get one of those nights back...

I'm not saying I'd give up
all these nights, but, uh...

Yeah, I probably have
a few things like that I should say.

Then why the fuck
are you still sitting here with me?

'Cause one thing's for sure,
you got absolutely no game.

I never cried over Donnie, you know.

You wanted to?

I think I should have, maybe.

Last time you did?

- Oh, I don't know.
- Sure you do.

Let's turn here.

I like to wander from time to time.

It's our little expeditions
that keep me around.

Digging in the dirt,
getting under the process,

but I was supposed
to be home hours ago.

Last time you cried.

Fuck. Okay.

You know what really nails me?

These YouTube videos...

soldiers coming home,
surprising their kids at school.

Even better... baseball game.

So the guy subs for the catcher.

Kid goes to the mound,
he gets ready to pitch.

He throws one.
He hasn't noticed.

And the catcher goes to the mound,

takes off his mask, kid sees him,

and the dad just wraps him in a hug.

I have no idea why,
but if I stumble across one of those,

I am gone.

Does it feel good after?

Yeah, it does.

Jesus.

Nobody knows that, not even Lara.

It's okay for that to be private.

Do you know what's going on?

You're not gonna tell me
it's because my dad never came home?

Well, I think that might be in there,
but I think we resolved a bunch of that.

No, I think about the mask itself.

I think about what it means
that the dad pulls offthe mask,

and he's not only seen but loved
for who he is

underneath that hard metal exterior.

Well, that guy's a hero.
He deserves the love.

And you?

What happens when you take it off?

Will you still be loved...

...by the guys here, your kids, Lara?

What if you're not perfect?

What if you miss one every few years?

Yeah.

What then?

Let's stay with Donnie a minute more.

♪ Subpoenaed in Texas ♪

♪ Sequestered in Memphis ♪

It's not the same without the Fiero.

Yeah.
Can't feel the road in this.

And you can't hear the fucking engine.

Are we going somewhere?

Nah.

We're just gonna joyride.

♪ I think she drove a new Mustang ♪

♪ I guess it might be a rental ♪

No.

♪ I remember she had satellite radio ♪

♪ I guess she seemed a bit nervous ♪

♪ Do you think I'm that stupid? ♪

- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Fuck, yeah.

You know, I think
you're right about me, Lou.

I'm not your ballsy big sister
who doesn't give two shits.

The old me would've told Bobby
to go fuck himself

for blowing me offto talk
to Wendy Rhoades all night.

So why didn't you?

Because I'm different than who I was.

Improved, supposedly.

You didn't need that kind of improving.

I do need something, though.

What?

What do you want?

I tell you,

this beats hitting the mall
and shoplifting earrings.

Mm.

God, we'd always end up
at that stupid mall.

Remember when Mom
bought us scratch-offs

and we agreed, if either of us won,
we'd go on a shopping spree?

Yeah.

You kind of won.

We've now gone
as far as we possibly can

without getting to it.

Donnie.

Fine. Donnie.

But first, tell me
what you've put together.

I know you used him as a shield.

I don't know how exactly.

And I know you left his family
well off afterwards.

That's all true.

So you should feel great.

You saved your kingdom

and rewarded richly the knight
who fell on his sword so you could do it.

A king who does not mourn that knight

and who goes on building
his own castle...

Oh, so that's why
you missed on the trade.

You loved him,

so, subconsciously,
you're punishing yourself.

I stole from him.

His time...

...without his permission.

Doctor presented me
with a chance to get Donnie

some experimental treatment,
not a cure.

But it could've extended
his life a few months...

...and maybe long enough for him
to have seen Christmas.

But also maybe long enough
for him to testify against me.

And...

I stopped that from happening
because it didn't suit my purposes.

And I'm punishing myself

because I cannot believe
I have the capacity

to do that to someone I care about.

That's your fear?

That even when you care about someone,
you can use them for your own ends?

If that is true, I don't like
what it says about me.

It may be true,
but that's not what this is.

You're punishing yourself

because you're understanding
that you didn't care...

about Donnie...

...not really.

That's what scares you.

Yes.

When I heard about Donnie's death, I...

...I felt relief.

And all the rest...
the sorrow, the sadness...

it was... it was buried way down.

Like it didn't exist at all.

That's right.

So the question you've been
afraid to ask out loud...

but have been whispering
to yourself ever since,

do you want to ask it?

- Do I have to?
- I think you do.

I can't say it for you.

Well, people who have
the capacity to feel nothing...

...they call them sociopaths.

Is that what I am?

What do you think?

I don't know.

This is how you manifest guilt.

If you didn't have it,
you wouldn't have lost the money,

you wouldn't be punishing yourself.

But it is a...

crucial time.

Your switch plate is removed.
Your wiring is exposed.

Your blue ones go
where your red ones should.

That's for sure.

A normal person wouldn't engage
in the behavior.

A sociopath wouldn't give a shit.

You're somewhere in between.

You are practiced
at turning off your feelings.

Do it enough, it's a pattern.
Keep going, they die.

So it's either fix it...

...or close yourself back up
and see what happens.

Thank you, Anil.

Really, thank you.
I know this is weird.

Anytime.

Just keep it open till we're done.

- Okay.
- Holy shit, Lar!

Yeah, holy shit.

Aah!

♪ Shadows on the wall
cross my face in black lines ♪

♪ I'm so disconnected
at the foot of the bed ♪

♪ Don't know what to say ♪

♪ Don't know what I said ♪

- Bright.
- So cool.

♪ Maybe every promise
anybody makes ♪

♪ Is destined for the rocks ♪

♪ The longer it takes ♪

♪ Daylight is so close,
I can almost taste it ♪

♪ It's all I got, it's not right ♪

♪ Everything is broken... ♪

♪ In my mind ♪

- Key part of breaking the law...
- What?

- ...is getting away. Come on.
- Ooh!

♪ Don't wanna lose control ♪

♪ Baby, I just might ♪

What we did tonight was pretty heavy.

There might be aftershocks.

Yeah, I know.

You did to me what I do to companies.

Took me apart, put me together again.

You seem tired.

Or are you just disgusted
at what you heard?

Take this away with you.

You are a difference maker,

but you're not a god.

Pancreatic takes everyone.

It's like the market.
It does what it wants.

And no magical thinking
was ever gonna change that.

So, no, I'm not disgusted with you.

For whatever reason,
when it comes to you, that's...

...that's just not on the table.

You know, some of your wires
aren't where they should be either.

I can't argue.

Is that why you've been looking
at other shops?

That's what
you've been drilling for all night.

Where were you thinking about?

Was it Insight, Point One Four?

No, Zenobia.

Yeah, Zenobia.

You think you'll be different there?

Fixed?

Working in a simpler, safer way
will allow you to step back from the edge?

That's for a different session.

Wait.
Pull over here.

Kill the lights.

Take me back to the city.

♪ As my bones creak ♪

♪ And my veins scream ♪

♪ While my spirit breaks ♪

♪ I hear you calling me ♪

♪ As my heart aches ♪

♪ And my hands shake ♪

♪ While my mind fades ♪

- Enter.
- ♪ From these dark days ♪

♪ In the valley where I come from ♪

♪ They'll cut your wrists ♪

♪ And hang you by the neck ♪

Mr. Martinez.

♪ I like your suicide ♪

It's been a long time.

- Yes, it has.
- ♪ I like your suicide ♪

I can only assume...

you've been a wretched...

...speck of shit.

♪ As my heart aches ♪

♪ And my hands shake ♪

♪ While my mind fades ♪

Red.

♪ From these dark days ♪

Red!

I'm sorry.

Did I not pick up the body language?

- It's been a while.
- No. Fuck!

No.

It's me. I can't.

I, uh...

I didn't get permission.

You didn't get permission
from Mrs. Martinez?

Oh, my God.
What are you doing here?

- I don't know.
- Go get permission.

Yeah, it's not so simple.

Does Wendy not role-play anymore?

The workshop went so well.
She was a fucking all-star.

It's like she's...

...she's intractable.

And she's so...

...so distant.

Chuck...

you guys should go see someone.

You can both come here if you want.

Who the fuck are you?

What the fuck you doing, man?

What the fuck?

Asshole was taking pictures.

Give me that.
Give it to me!

You've been following me all night?

Oh, my God.
I can't be here.

I got to go.

Must've been some party.

We didn't go.
We made our own.

How are you?

I feel young again.
Want to go to prom?

I know better than to go with the bad boy.

Do you?

Maybe.

I cry sometimes...

at sentimental things.

Commercials.

And I don't tell you.

Okay.

I'm glad that tonight helped,

but don't ever fucking do that
to me again.

I don't think I will.

♪ You may be an ambassador
to England or France ♪

♪ You may like to gamble ♪

♪ You might like to dance ♪

♪ You may be ♪

♪ The heavyweight champion
of the world ♪

♪ You might be a socialite
with a long string of pearls ♪

♪ But you're gonna have
to serve somebody ♪

♪ Yes, indeed ♪

♪ You're gonna have
to serve somebody ♪

♪ Well, it may be the Devil
or it may be the Lord ♪

♪ But you're gonna have
to serve somebody ♪

♪ You may be a rock-and-roll addict ♪

♪ Prancing on the stage ♪

♪ You might have drugs
at your command ♪

♪ Women in a cage ♪

♪ You may be a businessman ♪

♪ Or some high degree thief ♪

♪ They may call you doctor ♪

♪ Or they may call you chief ♪

♪ But you're gonna have to... ♪

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