All language subtitles for Love.Sex.and.Pandemic.2022

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Original subtitles

- This is Bartek, my cousin. - Hello.

He's a son of Jehovah's Witnesses.

He's 24, and has never seen naked tits. Drink.

Please, wait, Bartek. Nora can help you with that.

Look at that beautiful MILF.

Excuse me... how old are you?

- Bartek... - 43.

So you're almost twice my age.

Is it some deviance?

There he is.

- Who? - A fuck boy from Tinder.

Yet another Melvin?

- No, it's number one. - What does it mean?

There's one scale. Either you fuck or not - one, zero. I fuck.

You're the hottest chick I've ever seen.

You're saying that to get laid?

And you're smart as well.

It turned out...

the guy's into BDSM.

He took me to a hotel room, and made me wear a mask and leather clothes.

He stormed in, threw me against the wall, and started fucking me in the ass.

Then, he tore the mask off me,

put a leash on my neck, and pissed on the floor.

He rolled me in it, and dragged me to the bathroom.

There, he was drowning me in the sink.

And when I was washing his jizz off my face, I suddenly heard the door slam.

I went back into the room,

and noticed the fucker had stolen my phone.

I can't listen to that.

Goodnight.

I need to get fucking wasted.

Hey!

- Whisky. - Chest out.

Don't slouch, dude.

Remember Johnny's words? Every second of hesitation is a step away from success.

- Is it some fucking school of seduction? - Yes.

- Just don't talk to her. - Oh, no.

Talk to me.

How does it work?

We're still learning. At Johnny's course.

Johnny has fucked 948 chicks.

948...

Which one's Johnny?

I'll write an article about a seduction guru. Will Chief approve it?

- It's his 50th birthday. - And?

His family forgot about it. Tell him something nice.

Happy birthday to you!

To whom? To Slawek!

Blow. Let me take you out to lunch.

- Let's go back to the office. - I have a better idea.

Let's go to my place.

Seriously?

How often do you get to have birthday?

Wait here, I'll be back in a moment. I'll go get ready.

Happy Birthday to you...

If you fire me now, people will think we've been having an affair.

- Will you let me write that story? - I've seen Johnny.

- I'll write that. - Okay, will you fuck him?

- No, because he's straight. But I can. - How come?

I'll do a little role play. I'll be his number 949!

You'll sleep with a guy just to write a story?

What does it matter? One more, one less.

I don't know, Kaja. It's banal.

Why don't you fuck him, then?

Can't you see it's lame. Be the first one he can't get it up with.

Write a story about a seduction guru turned limp dick.

Why aren't you in bed, yet?

- They're too noisy. - Shut the window, son.

Go to bed, son.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, ma'am...

Excuse me.

Excuse my imposing but...

but would you care...

for a dance?

Fuck off.

Each passing second takes you away from success.

Excuse me?

Wanna pick up a girl?

Don't think - act.

Go and get her.

Chicks love self-confident guys.

Sign up for my seduction training.

Johnny. You can read about me on the net.

Turn it off.

- Where am I? - 4 Kolska Street, a drunk tank.

Your hotel stay is over.

- Is this a hotel? - 299 zlotys,

breakfast not included. Shall we go eat something?

This is Wojtek, we were doing a show together.

I played a farmer last night.

I'm a son of Jehovah's Witnesses. I am 24,

and have never seen a naked woman.

- You're about to see one. - But I'm too shy.

Come, I'll show you something.

Come.

Come, I said.

- Hi, is your name Google? - Why?

You have everything I'm looking for. I'm Kuba.

- Nice chest. - I come from a family of warriors.

Really?

My great grandfather fought in the Barbarian war.

Where?

In Poland in 1740. There was a 100-year war.

We were invaded by Barbarians on elephants.

That's why we say "a hundred years behind the Barbarians".

Listen, sweetie, my homie here is dying of cancer.

He's 24, and he has never seen a naked woman before.

You have a chance to be the first and last girl in his life,

and to remain in his mind as such forever.

- Would you show him your pussy? - Okay, but here?

Since we've got the pleasantries out of the way.

- Since he's dying... - Get down, Bart.

- Will you give him a blowjob? - Here?

I've got to go.

All five of them...

sitting here...

have an alcoholic brother.

- How are they supposed to get married? - I'm sorry.

Say that to Jehovah.

If He forgives you,

so shall I.

And for now...

get out of my house.

I've nowhere to stay.

But...

- I have no money. - You'll pay in kind.

- Are you gay? - Quite the opposite I'm a stripper.

I have a "Chippendales" ensemble. My buddy's left it,

so you'll fill in for him.

How?

And now, when it's in your mouth, swallow it.

Look who's talking?

- What was that? - It was...

Forget about it.

- Who does she take after more? - You don't know him.

- Why would you say that? - Your chauvinism pisses me off.

- Have you washed the dishes? - No. - It won't get done by itself.

We, the modern feminists,

fight for something our mothers and daughters need...

Something the Judge needs.

I accuse the president of the supervisory board

of addressing my client as "Mrs. President".

You should call her "presidentette". It's a fucking huge problem.

Mrs. Prosecutor...

- We don't want Arabs in Poland! - Poland for Poles!

No to Arabs! No to refugees!

Off with the leftist ideology!

"The Cow - My Sister". The hardships of milk cows determined by their gender.

- It can be good. - Exactly. And it's in "Koneser".

"Too Far is Too Close" Baha Al-Has am. A Poet and a Warrior.

In the "Vagabond" round the corner.

- "I am the fire and water... - No way.

- "A man and a woman of modern poetry". - I won't listen to any rag head!

Baha Al-Has am.

Sal am alaikum. Good evening.

Why do you toy with me?

With my white attire.

Why do you toy

with my papers...

sprinkled with ink.

I can't believe I'm here.

With my generous

melancholy...

I can't listen to that bullshit.

Listen to him as to an opera. What matters is the melody. Fuck the libretto.

What is this world as weak as my heart?

Cruel and vast as my hate.

I'll never go with you anywhere.

Self-proclaimed as my misfortune. What is this horribly empty vessel?

Thank you. Shukran luk.

He's ogling you all night long. Talk to him.

Kaja, please, I used to live with six Pakis in a dorm.

Screw the go at fuckers, who humiliate women.

It's good he can't understand Polish.

I understand Polish, but my English is better.

See? He understands.

Beautiful women.

- I'm taking off, girls. - Where are you going?

- I have a hearing in the morning? Take it. - But...

I'm a feminist.

Fuck me, what a junk.

Olga.

Should I press charges against you, rag head?

That's actually true.

"I have met 20,000 women.

But when I met you, love.

I knew my life had just begun."

Come on...

Surprise!

It's the last time I've popped out with a birthday cake!

Since the brain tumor surgery...

I haven't been with a man. And my sexologist...

advised me to have regular sex,

to teach my brain normative behavior.

- Hey. - This is Roksana.

A model. I have to go, I have a session.

- Alf, I'm about the advertisement. - Who?

Alfred, for the shoot.

You might be wondering why I'm so much into nudity.

The vagina is full of symbolism

and it evokes strong emotions, primarily abashment.

As an internal organ it's undiscovered even to the women themselves.

- What about a penis? - It's just a living vibrator.

Darlings, I want to capture your bodies during sex.

Such a beautiful constellation,

that will pass in a moment - just like frost on the windowpane.

Of course, sex won't be for real.

There's the bathroom, if you want to get ready.

Get your hand lower. Focus on the touch.

Good.

Start with the back.

Very good. You're both beautiful.

Great, Roksana.

From behind. As if you were taking her from behind.

Good.

That's good.

Very good.

Let it loose...

That's right. Good.

Even more...

More...

I've never had a session like that.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

If not, I'll come back again.

That's a miss.

Did it hurt, when you fell down from the sky?

Even worse.

I've just lost you. Do you know why?

Because you're a douche.

A douche...

that can see a beautiful woman, but fails to see a person.

Mademoiselle, my favorite perfume.

He sees a beautiful object that he wants to claim,

and for that reason he uses lines from the Internet.

Instead of listening to you.

What if you did?

Maybe I'd find out you're a sensitive,

intelligent person with a great sense of humor.

And that makes you fascinating to me.

- Am I yours yet? - Now I'm beginning to be afraid.

And you're right.

- Of what? - Of saying something wrong and losing you.

That's better.

Because I mean it now.

Take off your clothes.

Too crampy here. Fuck me on the hood.

Fuck.

Hey. What are you doing?

Ruining your career, motherfucker!

Wait!

All the fucking teenage girls will be mine.

You'll get in between her legs...

And then I'm not going to get out.

Hi, guys.

Hey, look, some fucking faggot.

Gentlemen, there's been an accident.

- A chick stole my clothes. - A chick?

Was her name Steve?

Knock it off. I'm in deep shit...

- Fuck me. - You'll be, when you're a pansy in jail.

- Fuck. - Forget about it.

- Fuck me! - We're not done yet!

- Get him. - Fuck faggots!

- Screw him! - Fucking pansy!

Before you start swinging your salami before a bunch of pies,

I gotta know your range.

You want me to brandish my penis in front of women?

What else? A vacuum cleaner cable? What have you expected?

Chill out. You won't be as comfortable with them as you are with me now.

Show me, what you got.

Seems like I've got some competition.

My ovaries hurt.

We haven't made love for a month.

Get yourself a rubber doll and stop objectifying me.

I'm afraid of women.

You're awesome. The chicks are waiting for you.

I have no sexual experience.

There must be the first time. Go to the stage.

Get the pecker out!

Swing the salami!

Get undressed!

- Come on... - That's it! Move it!

Move it!

He's the first Chippendale that didn't get laid!

- Oh, it's you. - Yes. It's me.

I also run courses for women.

Here's my card.

I meant the paper.

"The master of seduction? Naked truth about an impotent"

Bitch.

- Oh, you bring me flowers now? - Why did you want me to come?

- The photos didn't come out well. - Will Roksana come?

- No. I need your photos. - Won't you put them in a vase?

I'll leave them to dry. And when they are wrinkled and ugly,

I'll photograph them.

- Why? - It's a metaphor.

- Metaphor which is... - Did you go to college?

A vocational school. Upholstery. There was no other available.

Dried flowers will be my self-portrait.

Undress.

Lie down.

Every cell of your body...

is filled with desire.

Yes... such real emotions.

No...

They Sold Me January Ham. Half a column on fifth.

You can't come in here.

What the fuck have you done?

Oh, you tried to screw me, but you failed. I wrote the truth.

You wrote shit, cunt!

Slawek, we have a continuation: Master apologizes to Margarita,

I'll see you in court and sue you for all you have.

Calm him down, I've got enough problems.

Stop. Wait.

- Fuck off. - I did you a favor

and I didn't misspell your name. You should be grateful.

- You've ruined me. - Everything can be rectified.

I can write another article and present you as a god of sex.

Just give me a chance. We may even write a book...

- You think I'm an idiot? - Yes.

Thanks for your honesty. You won't make any more money off me.

- Fuck... - Now, I shall destroy you.

Fuck him and his lawsuit. Look.

Here's an article about him breaking into our office and trying to assault me.

Spin and one and two and higher chin. Three and chest out, and four...

Massage the stick. Five and six, and seven, and eight.

Grab her hair. And one, and two, and three, and four, five, six, seven...

You're tone-deaf.

Did I get you in the mood or should I bring some incense?

Let's focus on the good side.

You have a big dick. You'll take an erection pill,

and run around the stage with a stiff lizard.

Quiet.

- Do you work out a lot? - I help my father with his work.

You must be as agile as a tiger.

Are you as agile down there too?

I took a blue pill and don't know what to do with it now.

I'll help you. I live nearby. Are you in?

I'm in.

Have some Arabs move in here?

They advertise kebabs on transformer booth.

"Good morning, love. Let's have some good coffee together

on this beautiful morning."

Here you go.

...bayt, dar,

mask in, sakan, gurfa, marwa...

- How did the photos come out? - Unfortunately, not very well again.

Retake?

Oh yes...

- What now? - At this time I take bubble bath.

I play music, drink wine.

Do you have a big bathtub?

Why do you have sex with me?

Because I want to. And you?

Because I want to.

It's good we both want the same thing.

Do you know all those people?

I took those photos.

Loads of famous actors here. I wanted to become an actor too.

- You're not cut out for that. - Why?

There are mediocre guys whom the camera loves and pimps up 1000%.

And there are handsome ones like you who lose a lot in the frame.

You don't lose much, because it's a lousy career for a man.

Maybe I could give it a try? Could you recommend me to someone?

You'd be bitterly disappointed.

You're alive like bamboo.

Fucking hell.

Look, it's him again.

"A furious attack by an impotent"

Want something to perk you up?

I guess I'm no longer afraid of them.

That's awesome.

- Shall we dance? - I don't dance, I fuck.

I see.

- I work for a corporation. Time's money. - You're not at work now.

Dance with me.

- You don't like me at all. - I do like you a lot.

I am Boลผenna.

With double "n". One "n" and the other.

They rush to their homes...

To their children and wives.

But I don't have to do anything.

That's why I have good results.

Why did you come here with me?

You were so...

Ugly, old, and pissed off.

Sadly beautiful.

For fuck sake.

Something wrong?

No, no.

Keep talking.

Thank you for that night.

And that you didn't leave me here alone.

But I have to go to work.

What's that?

You were nice.

Buy something cool. Bye.

He got me spinning off into space, explode, and fall into thousand pieces.

He's an Arab. They wait years before they can go to bed with their Muslim wives

- after the wedding. - They don't have to wait for goats.

He's a man one hundred percent

and I can feel like the center of his universe.

Give us the details.

You know I have bunions. I hide my feet.

And he asks why. I tell him I don't like my feet.

And what does he do?

I will kiss them

until you like them.

Here's my sweet ass, sorry, girls.

I just have to...

- Will you pay for me? - Yes, sure. Go.

- Love you. Bye. - Bye.

For me, every guy is just a pecker.

Now, I have mine too.

Congratulations. How's sex with him?

- Awesome. - And after sex?

I see no point in talking to him. He didn't go to college.

- He's primitive but look at that. - Wow... looks good.

He's photogenic. If someone took care of him, he could make a career out of it.

- I thought you're taking care of him? - For my own sake.

Otherwise he'd fly off into the world, and I'd lose a lover.

You're horrible, but I love you!

By credit card.

Declined.

Your account has been blocked. Debt enforcement.

What enforcement?

- You have some debt. - I have no debts.

Why have you blocked my bank account?

Is your name written across your face?

Your ID, please.

The court has issued a decision to secure the debtor's assets toward the debt.

- What debt? - The future one. 200,000 zlotys.

- What does the plaintiff expect? - There's no fucking plaintif.

Kaja, that guy is a plaintiff and you are the defendant.

It's Greek to me.

- What does he want? - A penalty of 200,000.

A disclaimer in the paper...

- and an apology. - The case will go to court,

they'll analyze the content, witness statements...

When will I get back my account?

Considering the efficiency of Polish courts, it may take over two years.

What are you doing?

- I thought that... - You were wrong.

- I can see you want it. - Am I your sex toy?

- What are you talking about? - "No" means "no".

- Get out of here! - You're fucking crazy.

When I'm back from work, you have to be gone. Now, scram to the living room.

- Why so few chicks out there? - They're afraid of getting infected.

- With the corona virus? - What else do you think? Gonorrhea?

I'm sorry.

You're gone by 6 p.m. or I'll charge you with harassment.

I'll give you three hundred for this,

five hundred for this, four hundred for this,

eight hundred.

Not more than twelve hundred for the watch.

Hi...

You smell like my Baha.

I had a kebob today. So he's moved into your place?

He's brought in his stuff. Not much of it, though. He's a Bedouin.

You may let him into your bed, but into your house...?

Aren't you confusing sex with love? You come from different cultural backgrounds.

- What about multiculturalism? - They're not into that.

They are homogenous, patriarchal, fanatic, while women...

Didn't you say they didn't respect women?

- No one has ever respected me like him. - No one has fucked you like him.

If you're right, my butterflies will fly away, and I'll kick him out of my house.

- What if you won't? - Then, as an ancient Arab proverb says:

"Legs will follow wherever love takes them."

- Sounds like Japanese to me. - What does it mean?

It means that legs will follow wherever love takes them.

Baha?

Olga! Hurry up! The series is about to begin!

- What's going on? - They closed the office down.

The boss in Germany is afraid someone may catch a virus and sue them.

You'll work from home. Your salary will be reduced to 80 percent.

My bank account is blocked anyway. But what can I write about from home?

You'll make something up. We do it all the time.

There's a ban on public gatherings, because of COVID.

Till when?

Until further notice. CDC imposes huge fines and they file criminal charges.

My place, or yours?

Where's your mask?

I thought since we were supposed to fuck...

Put it on.

- Are you happy? - That's better.

- Come in. - Do you really want to fuck me in a mask?

Appreciate the fact I've agreed to meet in the first place.

What's the point, since you're going to penetrate me, anyway?

You won't infect me in a rubber. Hurry up, my wife's coming back at five.

Who's that?

- It's me. - You have to go.

Why?

I had a tumor surgery.

If I catch the corona virus, I'm surely going to die.

We can't be seeing each other until it's all over.

Athletes, actors, and celebrities

have all come together in the national "Stay at Home" project.

Hello, mom.

That's for Ania, that's for Maล‚gosia,

for Marta, Dorotka

and for... Paul ink a.

- And this is for you, mom. - You shouldn't have...

- What are you doing here? - That's for you, dad.

Have you confessed your sins to the congregation's elders?

- I left the congregation. - Then you don't belong with us either.

He's our son.

If your hand were to commit a sin, chop it off.

- It's a pity I didn't get you an axe. - Get out.

Give him back everything. You may get infected.

You know what, dad?

You sin.

You're advised against going outside, unless absolutely necessary.

Stay at home. Stay safe by limiting your errands...

Shall we meet?

There's a pandemic. Have you heard of "Stay at Home"?

Will you come to my place?

Are you nuts?

Leave the food on the doormat.

Alarming news.

The number of infections in Poland has exceeded 15,000.

Another 11 people have died today.

Stay at home. During the pandemic you're advised against going outside,

unless absolutely necessary.

Stay safe by limiting your errands to those absolute necessary,

like walking your dog...

- What's up? - Hi.

Hello, girls!

- Hello, my cousin. How are you? - I'm going to church.

Have you gone crazy?

Since the WW2 there's been nothing that would have

such a mass effect on humankind.

- Everything will be all right. - What if it is not?

What do you mean?

Maybe it's going to stay this way.

Maybe the world is coming to its end.

Bullshit.

I'm reading the Bible.

Healing the body,

restoring eyesight,

curing leprosy...

those have always been the ways to heal the soul.

We're experiencing the epidemy of loneliness.

We have easy access to emotionless sex,

Yet find it difficult to build a close relationship with another person.

We've turned a blind eye to the disease of our souls.

Until the disease of the body overpowered us.

Perhaps the disease of the body will become our chance to heal our souls?

I'll be at the Holy Virgin's tomorrow at 12. Join me there, if you want.

I don't know what I'm doing here,

but let's have it your way.

- The Lord be with you... - And with your spirit.

The words of the gospel according to St Matthew.

Glory to you, Lord.

That same day

Jesus went out of the house and sat by the sea.

Soon large crowds gathered round him

and he told them many things in parables:

"Listen, a sower went out to sow."

As he sowed, some seeds fell on the edge of the path,

and the birds came and ate them up.

Others fell on patches of rock where they found little soil

and sprang up at once, because there was no depth of earth;

but as soon as the sun came up

they were scorched and, not having any roots, they withered away.

Others fell among thorns,

and the thorns grew up and choked them.

Others fell on rich soil and produced their crop,

some a hundredfold,

some sixty,

some thirty.

Anyone who has ears

should listen.

So pay attention to the parable of the sower.

When anyone hears the word of the kingdom without understanding,

the Evil One comes

and carries off what was sown in his heart:

this is the seed sown on the edge of the path.

The seed sown on patches of rock is someone who hears the word

and welcomes it at once with joy.

But such a person has no root deep down and does not last;

should some trial come, or some persecution on account of the word,

at once he falls away.

The seed sown in thorns is someone who hears the word,

but the worry of the world and the lure of riches choke the word

and so it produces nothing.

And the seed sown in rich soil

is someone who hears the word

and understands it;

this is the one who yields a harvest and produces now a hundredfold,

now sixty,

now thirty...

The Gospel reminds us that we are responsible for the choices we make.

And the only thing that makes sense in this situation,

is to make a decision,

whether we're going to head toward darkness or the light of Christ.

I treated Alf like an object. I have never gone out with him.

I didn't take good photos of him, because I was afraid...

that if he looked great, he'd take to the big world, and I'd lose him...

I'll call him and help him with his career.

I have sex with women and they pay me for it.

I'm not going to do it anymore. And I'll start paying the tithe.

The what?

One tenth of my income for the needy.

I've castrated the father of my child.

I was the one wearing the pants at home and I did not allow him to be a man.

I have not married, because I was afraid I'd lose my independence,

which now I have relinquished to my lover for sex.

I'm going to give Kamil the second chance.

Pick it up, please.

- What do you want? - Thank you for calling me back.

- I'm not going to drop the lawsuit. - It's not about it.

What about, then?

I'm completely alone...

scared...

I know I've deserved it...

I didn't give a shit about hurting you...

The only thing that mattered was the number of views...

To have my five minutes of glory,

to be like the celebs I write about.

I really wish you all the best...

Goodbye.

- Yes? - It makes me feel like shit, too.

With all the madness going on around, does it even matter?

I'd like to and apologize to you personally.

- Will you meet me? - Will you come to my place?

Or shall I come to yours?

- What will you have to drink? - What do you have?

Whisky.

I'll have whisky then.

Do you remember what you said when you saw me?

You asked if I believed in love at first sight.

- If not, I'd come again. - Did you lie?

When I saw you...

I was honestly struck.

I meet a lot of women,

but I hadn't felt anything like that for a long while.

- It could've been different. - Yes. But you ruined me.

What happened to you?

He raped me.

You'll tell me everything.

Can you do it?

- Come. - I just have to record it.

- I have a recording too. - What kind of recording?

Of him doing it to me...

Come here.

- I don't want it! - You do!

Motherfucker! Leave me alone!

You fucking whore!

He got me in the hall. That's where he finished.

Why did you film it?

Sometimes I'm afraid of the dudes from Tinder.

I bought a camcorder. It's motion activated.

He sued me. He called me suddenly and said he wanted to talk.

I didn't know what it was about,

so I taped him for my safety.

This footage will land him in jail.

But you must be seen by a forensic doctor.

He used protection, didn't he?

He came inside me.

He's a goner.

God bless.

Oh...

I got you the masks and the protective gloves.

- Great, we need them. - I've also transferred you some money.

And you want to check if we're not squandering it?

No, I just...

want to be better.

Than who?

Than myself.

That's our boys' home.

We strive to make sure that no square inch resembles an institution.

It's just a home - the only place where these boys live.

And it's not a facility. We remind everybody not to call it that way,

because it's associated with temporality.

And a home is a place where people are born and where they die.

- Hello, boys! - Hello.

Come, Bartek, you'll meet Krystian.

- Hello, Krystian. - Hello.

- Hi, Krystian. - This is Bartek.

Krystian is a cool guy, because he does relaxing hand massages.

- Does he? - He can show you his abilities.

- All the tension is coming off. - Bartek likes it.

- Now I'll have.. - A better day.

Yes, exactly.

And this is a dream room for sensory integration.

We're very happy to have it.

And the boys love spending a lot of time here.

- The red one. - Are you holding on?

Here they practice balance

so that they can function properly in the world,

because they have many disorders

in that matter.

- It's like a PE lesson at school. - Right.

- Will you jump to me? - Yes.

- To me? - Yes.

- Aren't you afraid? - Where is Kacper?

If he wants to.

And...

Need a ride?

I could use a lift to the train station.

- Bartek. - Roksana.

Can I take my mask off? I can barely breathe in it.

Sure. I'm fed up with it too.

O, it's you...?

You punched me in the face in the club. I deserved that.

In these circumstances... are you still willing to drive me to the station?

- I'm heading straight to Warsaw. - That's even better.

So you're not a nun, are you?

- Do I look like one? - More like a model.

- I am a model. - Do you help the nuns as a volunteer?

Have I said something wrong?

My brother is there...

Jarek is fifteen, and is an amazing boy, but...

he needs professional care.

- The one you played scrabble with? - We were fooling around.

He has FAS.

Vodka made him ill.

Did he drink?

Our mother did.

She was pregnant.

Jarek was born with 3.5 per mil of alcohol in his blood.

Horrible...

I don't know why I'm telling you that.

Maybe because you can listen.

Are you okay here?

Thank you...

It was...

a very good day.

Because you've done something good.

Look...

Are you in a hurry?

No.

I don't want to leave you here.

Neither do I.

My mother held a baby shower and burnt to death in her own bed.

I was sixteen then and I couldn't look after a little baby.

Now I'm twenty six, I drudge as much as I can.

When I earn some dough,

I'll quit whatever I'm doing now, and I'll take him to my place...

Are you in a relationship?

I'm afraid of love.

Why?

Love is a mental disorder.

It's on the WHO's list, and has a number assigned to it.

It is a mixture of hormones and endorphins. It passes after two years.

I don't think I'm able to love someone.

That's what I used to think, too.

Are you?

Do you want to go to my place?

I thought you'd never ask.

- What do you actually do? - Nothing interesting.

Wait.

I'm a stripper.

I've fallen into sex addiction, made love to every chick in the club that wanted it.

They paid me for it.

I was getting to hate myself and those women.

But I'm not going to do it anymore.

What a shame!

And now you'll have to dance for me after all that trauma.

Due to the pandemic, you're advised against going outside,

unless absolutely necessary.

I didn't expect to feel something like that.

Neither did I.

I don't mean the orgasm.

Neither do I.

I don't want you to leave.

I don't want that, either.

Stay, then.

Hi.

Hi.

- Thank you for agreeing to see me. - It's great you called me.

All the bars are closed, so we'll have a bench party.

Public gatherings of up to two people are legal.

- They may bust us for drinking in public. - Or for not wearing a mask.

Everything?

Pathology.

I'm sorry.

I love you anyway.

I don't want to be like that anymore.

What do you want, then?

I want us to try again.

Should I move back in?

No.

Let's take it easy.

Let's meet. Enjoy each other.

Let's try to remember why we used to want to be together.

Let's go away, once they open the hotels.

Are you by any chance trying to seduce me?

- By no chance. I've had it all planned. - What about sex?

Have you planned sex as well?

No, I want no foreplay.

- What do you want, then? - Sex. Come here.

Give it to me.

Wait...

Don't get it out from me like that.

Harder.

Harder.

Harder.

Shh.

Al-Shabab Rijad,

- Aren't you afraid anymore? - No.

- Shall we go to bed? - Not now. I have a lot of work.

What are we going to do, then?

You need a good portfolio.

What for?

For casting directors, for castings.

- Will you get me a job with the TV? - I'll open a few doors for you.

- Do I need an agent? - You already have one.

- Radosล‚aw Sikora? - Yes.

We have a warrant for your arrest.

Whoever uses force, illegal intimidation, or deception

to force another person into sexual activity is subject to imprisonment

from 2 to 12 years. Article 197, section 1 of the Criminal Code.

- Do you plead guilty? - She wanted that.

- Do you think women like getting raped? - It wasn't a real rape!

- You'll be held in executive detention. - That bitch is setting me up!

- May I, prosecutor? - I haven't seen anything.

He crapped his pants.

Yes?

God bless. I've read you're building an orphanage

for a hundred children in Tanzania. I'd like to help you with that...

Do I look younger in this?

Don't you feel old anymore?

A woman feels young as long as she is loved.

You know what? Slide your mask off and kiss me.

I have to tell you something.

Do you have covid?

Can I continue?

I have thought things through.

I want to share my life with you. I want to marry you.

- I want to have more kids. - Do you know how to make kids?

Imagine I do...

Then stop fucking around, and fuck me.

Nora and her young lover. "A passionate kiss with no masks on."

That's good.

- Show us your beef. - I don't understand.

- Show us your beef. - The papers - what you're in for.

I don't have it on me.

We'll help you find it.

One hundred ninety seven. An assault with a deadly dick.

I haven't raped anyone. It's some misunderstanding.

When will you start building the infirmary wing?

As soon as we have enough money, Bartek.

- But I did send you 10,000 dollars. - Yes, but we got only 8.

I'll call you right back.

Renata Magier, welcome to our bank's helpline.

I've transferred the equivalent of $10,000 to Tanzania, but they've received only 8.

Our bank had to convert the currency from zlotys to dollars.

I sent money for an orphanage, and you robbed the kids of 2,000 dollars?

Fuck you!

European. No manners.

You have casting for the TV series at 3 p.m.

- What should I wear? - You'd better think what you'll say.

And remember, I believe in you.

Hi. My name is Alfred Rutkowski, but you may call me Alf.

I'm 26. I live in Warsaw. And I dream of becoming an actor.

Ok, let's go with the lines.

How could you do that to me?

Did you think about how I felt when I saw you with him?

- That didn't mean anything. - It did to me. You were holding hands.

- Fuck, I have no rubbers. - I do.

- What do you need them for? - I got a discount in the club.

Katarzyna Chojnacka, Cinkciarz. pl?

I transfer donations to an orphanage in Tanzania.

I saw your ad on a condom wrapper.

How much can I save while buying dollars from you?

Compared with the bank, even up to 8%.

We do international money transfers, so you can transfer dollars

straight from the Cinkciarz. pl website.

I need you today.

Olga, please,

tell me who did it to you?

Just be with me today. Hug me and tell me everything will be fine.

- I can't. - You're safe, I'm with you.

I'm sorry.

Have I done something wrong?

You got the part!

- What? - Yes!

We must celebrate it.

Let's order a takeaway.

I'll make veggie burgers. I used to work at the Central Train Station.

I've never eaten anything as good as this.

I've been invited to a session in Italy for the weekend.

Let's go together. I don't want to be away from you even for one day.

I'd love to, but I'll be working from morning till late night,

so we wouldn't be together anyway.

I've found a way to transfer money without being ripped off on conversion.

I've just sent more money. Let me know, when you get it.

The money has already come through, 10,000 dollars.

- What? - How could you do that to me?

It's all your fault. Did you think about how I felt when I saw you with him?

- It didn't mean anything. - It did to me. You were holding hands.

I'll talk to him. I'll call you back, okay?

Thanks.

- Have you heard of Fame MMA? - You bet I have.

They want you to fight there with some Youtuber.

Well, I don't really like that idea, because...

they'll break your nose, bruise your face and you won't be able to act. No.

How much do they pay?

50 thousand zlotys, but wait.

Make a career and they'll offer you 500 thousand...

Nora, it is watched by 10 million people...

Ready? Ready?

Come on!

Stop!

Yes! Good!

Wow! Super!

- What do you feel now? - All I could feel in the ring was focus

and adrenaline, but I knew I had to win,

because my beloved woman was rooting for me in the audience.

Love is the most important thing.

- A stroll. - Are you going for a stroll, sweetheart?

- You're making me fucking jealous. - You fucked his ass, but I love him.

Bye, love.

- Don't you want me to give you a ride? - I hate goodbyes. I'll cry.

- I love you. - I love you too.

We've just finished the roof, Bartek.

Just look at it. We're very, very grateful to you.

The children have learned a song for you.

Come, children.

Will you marry me?

Kamil...

You're good man, but I won't be with you.

Why?

You do everything in a godly manner. But I need a roller coaster.

If you're doing 300 km/h with one guy, 150 with another won't make you happy.

Tell me, why the hell did you go to bed with me, then?

- My bad. - Your bad?

Yes.

Because you fuck in a godly manner too.

- The babe has hanged himself. - Don't go there.

My rapist hanged himself in a cell. Let's write about it.

- How do you want to write about it? - I'll make a story.

People love it.

The crime and the punishment. And it'll be my therapy.

They offered me a part in the second edition of "Love Hotel".

- People have sex on that show. - Don't worry about me.

I'm in love with you and I don't care about other women.

I might as well fuck chicks on the set for that matter.

- Your shopping is on the house. - Why?

Because you're not afraid to write about it.

I've done it for us... for all the women.

- Does the end justify the means? - What's at the end?

- Success, fame, and money. - I can fend for myself.

As a "Love Hotel" participant are you ready for everything?

- Since the day I was born. - Undress.

- All the way? - No, to your fucking underwear.

Call me, when you get bored with Nora. Get dressed.

Did I get in?

Do you want to be a prime time star watched by a couple million people?

Do you think it comes for free?

Working for me comes at a price. Off you go. Time is money.

Pull my hair.

Slap me.

Slap me.

- Will you make me a star? - Once again.

- Will you make me a star? - Once again.

Paulina makes me feel myself, I give a 100% of what I've got.

I enjoy every moment I spend with her.

Sex is just sex,

but deep in my heart I feel I love Alf.

I want you to see it. It's coming out tomorrow. I'm sorry.

Roksana!

Will you marry me?

Are you sure?

We're meant for each other.

How are you different from that producer? You're both MILFs.

You both found a rook to fuck, because you're going into a menopause

and wanted to feel a dick for the last time.

So you've felt it, and don't tell me you didn't like it.

Get out.

Sure, and in the evening you'll call to ask me to come back.

Be gone forever.

You'll regret it.

Bart, the fridge is empty, I'm going to get something for dinner.

I'm back!

Bart?

You fuck for money abroad?

You're a whore.

And who are you? How are you different from me?

A guy who fucks is a fucker.

Sure...

- You've lied to me. - No.

- I'm really saving money for my brother. - By fucking?

That was my plan.

Plan? You had a plan? What fucking plan?

- It doesn't matter. - Go ahead, tell me!

I'll be happy to hear it!

I make 10,000 euros on a single trip.

Twice a month gives 20,000, times 12 is 240,000 a year.

It amounts to two million euros in ten years.

I rent an apartment for 4,000 zlotys, add to that gym and spa fees - 2,000,

the cost of comfortable life is 5,000.

During a year I save almost one million zlotys a year.

I've planned to work like that until I'm thirty,

and save 10 million by then.

Apart from that I invest in bonds and real estate.

Until you're thirty?

And what then?!

I was going to have a plastic surgery on my vagina,

reconstruct my hymen, meet a nice boy, and tell him I got an inheritance.

One thing I did not predict was meeting you on the way.

I hate you!

Bartek.

You hate yourself. You look at me, and you see yourself.

Fuck off!

We're both in a rut right now. Do I condemn you?

I could quit all that for you.

Please forgive me. Forgive me.

Let's start a new life together, leaving the past behind.

Dude, you proposed to me an hour ago.

So you no longer think we're meant for each other?

Go ahead, say something.

You broke my heart, whore.

I'll post them on our website. We'll lampoon him as...

a male slut.

He'll go down so hard he'll never be able to get up again.

We'll ruin him.

I'm not giving you these photos.

After all he's done to you?

I'll make an exhibition.

- It could have been different. - Yes. But you ruined me.

Can I make up for that?

I don't know.

But on the other hand, I fell in love with you at first sight.

Life is fucked up.

I'm scared.

Kaja...

- I like rough sex. - What exactly do you want?

- Rape me. - What?

Fuck me. That's the only way I get orgasm.

Seriously?

Hit me back. Come on...

Hit me back.

That's what you want?

- I don't want it! - You do!

Motherfucker! Leave me alone!

You fucking bitch.

An exhibition? My private photos? Do you want to ruin me?

I'll pay you 100,000. Just don't put them out.

All the photos taken in my studio belong to me. They are not for sale.

Okay, 150! Do you hear me?

Okay, 200! I'll pay you 200!

Spider, the boys.

- I thought you'd be alone. - Have you heard of a gang bang party?

- I watch porn. - So, are you in?

SISTER RUT

I hate you all, whores...

Shove a bottle up your ass.

This exhibition represents a certain chapter of my life. A closed chapter.

My life is such a constant fight of two wolves.

One is darkness and identifies all evil qualities:

pain, hatred, revenge.

The other one is light,

love.

Which of them wins?

The one I feed.

Can love be photographed? You'll have to answer it for yourselves.

Got any change to spare?

Not for booze. For life.

You've made a mistake.

I don't need it.

- I'm already dead. - Are you ill?

Yes, ill with loneliness.

And the worst thing about it is that I'll never get better,

- because no one is waiting for me. - You don't know that.

Do you know what the chances are of me still finding the love of my life?

Null.

For God, nothing is impossible.

Thank you.

What happened...?

The paraglider failure. Are you all right?

I guess so...

Don't get up. Let's wait for the paramedics...

How are you?

My leg hurts, but my spine is in one piece.

My name is Piotr...

Nora...

LOVE, SEX AND PANDEMIC

DIRECTED BY

WRITTEN BY

PRODUCER

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