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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,872 --> 00:00:08,124 ♪♪ 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:14,292 ♪♪ 5 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:35,748 -And henceforth let this land be plagued By Ogres! 6 00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:50,080 -It was the Green-eyed Lady of Banebower 7 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,292 who banished the Wizard who cursed the King 8 00:00:53,292 --> 00:00:56,664 whose Queen had died giving birth to the Princess 9 00:00:56,664 --> 00:00:58,624 who was about to be married. 10 00:00:58,624 --> 00:01:05,708 -And will you freely take this Princess to be your wedded wife? 11 00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,624 -I guess most people know that. 12 00:01:10,124 --> 00:01:11,748 -Oh, absolu-- 13 00:01:11,748 --> 00:01:14,000 But how does a beautiful 14 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,708 Princess like her --- 15 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,748 only daughter of a great king, like him -- 16 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:21,664 end up betrothed to this guy? 17 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,748 Well, it's complicated. 18 00:01:25,748 --> 00:01:27,664 But, it's a great story. 19 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,248 The land had been known far and wide 20 00:01:34,248 --> 00:01:36,748 as the Contented Kingdom. 21 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:39,832 But these days, nobody called it that. 22 00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:41,040 Because of the Ogre problem. 23 00:01:46,792 --> 00:01:48,540 And it really was a problem. 24 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,080 For years the Kingdom had been plagued by Ogres 25 00:01:56,292 --> 00:01:58,248 but the lowly Goatherd 26 00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:01,372 was also plagued by something else. 27 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:05,748 Try as he might he could not find Love. 28 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,292 Or, perhaps you could say, love had not yet found him. 29 00:02:11,292 --> 00:02:12,580 Heh. 30 00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:21,208 ♪♪ 31 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:27,456 ♪♪ 32 00:02:28,664 --> 00:02:29,580 Whoa! 33 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,372 -Ha! Typical. 34 00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:39,540 -He's okay. 35 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,664 Maybe not. 36 00:02:41,664 --> 00:02:43,164 Uh-oh. 37 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,416 That was close. 38 00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,208 -Come on champ, shake it off. 39 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,956 We'll be late to the festival. 40 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,624 -When he arose, 41 00:03:14,624 --> 00:03:17,792 the dancing figure had vanished from sight 42 00:03:17,792 --> 00:03:20,708 and that might have been the end of the story 43 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:23,000 but in fact... 44 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,664 it was just the beginning. 45 00:03:24,664 --> 00:03:33,248 ♪♪ 46 00:03:33,248 --> 00:03:41,872 ♪♪ 47 00:03:41,872 --> 00:03:50,456 ♪♪ 48 00:03:50,456 --> 00:03:54,248 ♪♪ 49 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,580 -Oh. 50 00:03:59,332 --> 00:04:01,080 Looks like something the cat dragged in. 51 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,164 -Ugh, and smells like something the cat pooped in. 52 00:04:04,164 --> 00:04:06,832 -Come on guys, there's no sense crying over spilled milk. 53 00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:08,292 -How 'bout crying over being covered in sh-- 54 00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:09,748 -It's mud. 55 00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,500 And maybe a little Ogre goo. 56 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,792 -I love the smell of Ogre goo in the morning. 57 00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:15,000 Smells like... 58 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,624 Ogre goo, mainly. 59 00:04:22,124 --> 00:04:23,832 -I saw something, Mum. 60 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,580 On the down. -Ogres, was it? 61 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,540 -A woman. 62 00:04:31,956 --> 00:04:33,580 Dancing, like... 63 00:04:37,664 --> 00:04:39,332 -Clean yourself up. 64 00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:40,664 We'll be late. 65 00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:42,292 -See you at the festival neighbors! 66 00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:44,916 Save the first dance for me! 67 00:04:47,416 --> 00:04:54,748 ♪♪ 68 00:04:54,748 --> 00:05:02,080 ♪♪ 69 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,164 Go on. 70 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,664 Make sure you dance this year. 71 00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:12,248 -Mam, I can't dance. 72 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,956 -Going my way? 73 00:05:15,956 --> 00:05:18,832 Go on. 74 00:05:18,832 --> 00:05:20,124 -Oh. -Oh, well. 75 00:05:20,124 --> 00:05:21,872 Age before beauty. 76 00:05:21,872 --> 00:05:24,000 -Well, that's me bringing at the rear again, isn't it? 77 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,664 -I know, I have just the one for you. 78 00:05:35,664 --> 00:05:36,872 She's perfect. 79 00:05:36,872 --> 00:05:38,248 -Mam, I can't dance. 80 00:05:40,164 --> 00:05:42,540 -No Princes have come this year, Sire. 81 00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:44,080 Third year in a row. 82 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,708 -When the Plague of a Thousand Ogres is ended, 83 00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:52,708 my child, I promise you shall be betrothed. 84 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:53,956 -You say that every year. 85 00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:57,208 Is there anyone left to get betrothed to? 86 00:05:57,208 --> 00:06:00,208 -We seem to be fresh out of idiot Princes these days. 87 00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:01,708 My lady. 88 00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:03,416 I should explain. 89 00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:05,208 When the princess was of age 90 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:07,708 the King declared that any Prince or Noble Lord 91 00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:09,208 who vanquished the Ogres 92 00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:11,080 would earn his child's hand. 93 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,292 ♪♪ 94 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,792 -Every year valiant Princes 95 00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:19,040 from far and wide came to test their might, 96 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,832 and rid the Kingdom of its curse. 97 00:06:20,832 --> 00:06:22,208 ♪♪ 98 00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:24,292 Oh, no. 99 00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:27,000 -Which said that as long as the Ogre's lived 100 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,748 the Princess would marry no man. 101 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,832 But none of them could best the foul Ogres. 102 00:06:36,748 --> 00:06:38,872 And these days, on her birthday 103 00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:40,580 the Princess had no one to dance with 104 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:42,000 but the King's Dancemaster. 105 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,292 -Which... 106 00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:48,124 Well, he was an excellent dancer. 107 00:06:48,124 --> 00:06:56,708 ♪♪ 108 00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:05,332 ♪♪ 109 00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:16,080 ♪♪ 110 00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:20,208 -Mam, I don't want to dance. 111 00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:22,624 -Yes, you do. 112 00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:29,916 Go on, go on. 113 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,208 Oh! 114 00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,872 Ow! 115 00:07:39,372 --> 00:07:40,624 Whoa! 116 00:07:40,624 --> 00:07:41,832 Ah! 117 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,624 -Oh. 118 00:07:51,624 --> 00:07:54,540 -Never thought he'd top the year he fell in the pig trough. 119 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,956 But he did it! 120 00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:58,332 -He's a little unlucky. 121 00:07:58,332 --> 00:08:00,000 -Clumsy as a three-legged camel 122 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,292 with two humps, that's the truth. 123 00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,708 -You can't handle the truth. 124 00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:10,248 -I ain't never had a wife. 125 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,664 -Never even a sweetheart. 126 00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:21,164 Why is that, Mum? 127 00:08:24,456 --> 00:08:25,500 Mum. 128 00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:28,040 Why is that? 129 00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:34,248 Is there something wrong with me? 130 00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:37,580 -Yes. There is. 131 00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:40,832 You're cursed. 132 00:08:43,292 --> 00:08:45,164 -Like... 133 00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:46,540 metaphorically? 134 00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:50,956 -Evil magic. 135 00:08:52,372 --> 00:08:53,916 At birth. 136 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,916 -I'm passed two score years old. 137 00:09:03,332 --> 00:09:06,124 For no good reason I've never had a single sweetheart, 138 00:09:06,124 --> 00:09:09,040 not a single kiss, or a single sweet word, 139 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,292 not even an enjoyable picnic with a maid, 140 00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:14,372 and you 're just now telling me 141 00:09:14,372 --> 00:09:16,456 that I'm cursed. 142 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,164 By magic. 143 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,456 At birth?! 144 00:09:22,832 --> 00:09:24,164 -Eat your soup. 145 00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:39,792 -All his life, 146 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,624 he had been invisible to love. 147 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,916 And now, 148 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,792 at last, he knew why. 149 00:09:49,748 --> 00:09:55,292 That night his dreams were dark and full of terrors. 150 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:09,624 -This child shall never take a wife... 151 00:10:09,624 --> 00:10:11,208 no not a single sweetheart, Nay! 152 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,872 Not a single kiss. Not a single kiss! 153 00:10:13,872 --> 00:10:19,500 No, not even an enjoyable picnic with a maid shall he have! 154 00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:23,124 -Nevertheless, in his heart 155 00:10:23,124 --> 00:10:27,372 he began to feel a faint stirring of hope. 156 00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:35,916 ♪♪ 157 00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:44,000 For if he could but undo the curse, 158 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,000 perhaps, his luck would change. 159 00:10:50,292 --> 00:10:52,500 -It was the Evil Wizard who done it. 160 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,872 "He'll never take a wife." That's what he said. 161 00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,456 -Can I break it? The curse. 162 00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:03,248 You could visit the Witch. 163 00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:05,500 The Hag of Banebower. 164 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:06,872 -Can she break curses? 165 00:11:06,872 --> 00:11:08,416 -Absolutely! 166 00:11:10,248 --> 00:11:13,040 Hey aren't you forgetting something! 167 00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:20,372 Where can I find her? The Hag. 168 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,664 Take the Ogre's road. 169 00:11:23,664 --> 00:11:25,580 If you get to the Ogre King's Keep, 170 00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:26,872 you 've gone too far, 171 00:11:26,872 --> 00:11:28,000 the Ogres will eat ye. 172 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:33,540 ♪♪ 173 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:35,248 And mind you, boy. 174 00:11:35,248 --> 00:11:36,872 Don't eat her soup! 175 00:11:36,872 --> 00:11:39,748 ♪♪ 176 00:11:39,748 --> 00:11:42,248 -You're a brave hero now is it?! 177 00:11:42,248 --> 00:11:44,580 And you'll be betrothed to the Princess 178 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:47,956 by next year on her birthday, will ye? 179 00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:50,916 And who'll milk the goats when you're dead? 180 00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:56,248 -And so with his Mother's fond encouragement -- 181 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:57,956 he left with high hopes 182 00:11:57,956 --> 00:11:59,708 to set out for Banebower Wood. 183 00:12:01,664 --> 00:12:04,708 And we went with him, because that's what friends do. 184 00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:06,956 Except Donkey. 185 00:12:06,956 --> 00:12:08,500 He doesn't love to travel. 186 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,416 -I prefer a staycation. 187 00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:11,624 Or should I say... 188 00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:13,624 a braycation? 189 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:21,040 ♪♪ 190 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:26,080 ♪♪ 191 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:31,124 ♪♪ 192 00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:36,164 ♪♪ 193 00:12:38,748 --> 00:12:46,832 ♪♪ 194 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,292 -I see dead people. 195 00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:51,292 -Feels like a wild goose chase to me. 196 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,456 And I should know. 197 00:12:53,456 --> 00:12:55,372 He knows what he's doing. 198 00:12:55,372 --> 00:12:56,792 Ow! 199 00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:58,416 Fiends! 200 00:13:00,332 --> 00:13:02,332 Fiends! 201 00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,872 Do you know how long I searched for her? 202 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,248 Do you?! 203 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,748 She was perfect! 204 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,872 She was beautiful! 205 00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:19,080 She fit me like this hand fits this glove! 206 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,916 I was bound to her with my life and do you know what they did?! 207 00:13:21,916 --> 00:13:23,792 Do you?! 208 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:26,000 They ate her! 209 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,872 They pulled her right out from under me 210 00:13:27,872 --> 00:13:29,456 and ate her! 211 00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,332 -Ugh, a maiden?! 212 00:13:32,332 --> 00:13:33,916 -I'm the Captain of the King's Guard 213 00:13:33,916 --> 00:13:35,748 I don't have time for maidens! 214 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:36,916 My horse! 215 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,332 The Ogres ate my horse! 216 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,124 I'm in shock. 217 00:13:43,124 --> 00:13:45,500 Why am I in shock? 218 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,292 Look at my leg. 219 00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:49,872 Ah! Look at my leg. 220 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,664 -Oh. 221 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,748 -Don't... 222 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,208 tell me what it looks like. 223 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,332 Just tell me if it's still attached to me. 224 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,000 They ate my horse. Ow! 225 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,416 -Can you move the foot? 226 00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:02,832 -Uh-huh. 227 00:14:02,832 --> 00:14:04,332 -Then it's still attached. 228 00:14:05,956 --> 00:14:08,040 -Lost a horse but... 229 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,872 kept a foot. 230 00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,916 That's a bit o' luck. 231 00:14:14,332 --> 00:14:16,208 -You have some skill at healing, fellow. 232 00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:23,872 You're very brave to venture thus far into the hinterland. 233 00:14:23,872 --> 00:14:26,500 Or very foolish. 234 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,500 Shall I guess which? 235 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,872 -I'm after gettin' a wife. 236 00:14:30,872 --> 00:14:32,748 -In Banebower Wood? 237 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,040 Well... 238 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,456 I'm a fighter not a lover, 239 00:14:35,456 --> 00:14:38,124 so I'm no expert but... 240 00:14:38,124 --> 00:14:40,748 there's nothing in this foul place but death and dark magic. 241 00:14:43,292 --> 00:14:46,040 -You've done me no small service, countryman. 242 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,748 I will remember. 243 00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:54,208 Call at the Castle for the Captain of the King's Guard. 244 00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,080 I will requite thee. 245 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,164 And if you find that wife... 246 00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,500 tell me if she has a sister. 247 00:15:00,624 --> 00:15:03,372 But Banebower is cursed, man. 248 00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:06,124 You'll not find what you're looking for in there. 249 00:15:06,124 --> 00:15:14,124 ♪♪ 250 00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:22,208 ♪♪ 251 00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,832 -Uh, guys? 252 00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:26,292 Do you smell that? 253 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,456 -I can't smell a thing over the stench of 254 00:15:27,456 --> 00:15:28,540 Ogres. 255 00:15:29,748 --> 00:15:30,956 -Duck. -Duck. 256 00:15:30,956 --> 00:15:32,040 -Goose. 257 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,000 -No, not Goose. Duck. 258 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:39,040 ♪♪ 259 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:44,080 ♪♪ 260 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:49,080 ♪♪ 261 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:54,124 ♪♪ 262 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,124 -Whoa! 263 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:09,208 Ah! 264 00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:15,456 Ah! 265 00:16:20,416 --> 00:16:22,624 Ah! 266 00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:30,124 Ah! 267 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:53,500 Ah! 268 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,124 -Uh... 269 00:16:58,124 --> 00:16:59,708 He's over here. 270 00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:00,916 -Is he dead? 271 00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:02,416 -No. 272 00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:04,540 He's, uh, napping. 273 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:05,832 -Looks dead. 274 00:17:07,164 --> 00:17:09,332 -Oh. 275 00:17:11,456 --> 00:17:13,000 Oh. 276 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,248 -He's okay. 277 00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:15,664 -Oh. 278 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000 -What? 279 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:26,372 ♪♪ 280 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,000 -Cats. 281 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,164 Very dangerous. You go first. 282 00:17:34,164 --> 00:17:38,624 ♪♪ 283 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:46,164 ♪♪ 284 00:17:48,164 --> 00:17:56,624 ♪♪ 285 00:17:56,624 --> 00:18:05,040 ♪♪ 286 00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:12,080 Why have you come? 287 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:15,708 -I seek the Hag -- 288 00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:22,208 What is your wish? 289 00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:23,832 -I wish -- 290 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,292 I wish -- 291 00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,292 Water. 292 00:18:31,292 --> 00:18:32,916 -If you wish for water, go to a well! 293 00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:34,456 If you have a wish, you go to a Witch. 294 00:18:34,456 --> 00:18:36,040 If you want to live a long life, 295 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,292 you don't interrupt a Witch when she is working! 296 00:18:38,292 --> 00:18:39,456 Oh! 297 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,748 -Fine. Water. 298 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,208 All better? 299 00:18:53,372 --> 00:18:55,124 Leave payment on the table 300 00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:56,416 on your way out -- What have you got? 301 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,708 a rock. 302 00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:58,916 Not surprised. 303 00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:01,580 Are you a Wizard?! 304 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:04,000 -A Goatherd, actually. 305 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,456 Can I, please, have my stone back. 306 00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:07,456 -No refunds no exchanges! 307 00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,456 I -- 308 00:19:08,456 --> 00:19:09,832 wish for another wish! 309 00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:12,292 -Technically make three wishes. 310 00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:14,456 And I warn you, the more wishes you make, 311 00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:17,664 the more complicated your life will become. 312 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,292 What's your wish? 313 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:24,748 -A wife. 314 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,332 I wish -- for a wife. 315 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,292 That's why I came. 316 00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:30,456 -Why? 317 00:19:30,456 --> 00:19:31,664 -I'm lonely. 318 00:19:31,664 --> 00:19:33,000 -Get a pet. 319 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,748 -Well, I sleep with my Donkey... 320 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:36,416 -And you 're wondering why you don't have a wife? 321 00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:37,792 You don't want a wife. 322 00:19:37,792 --> 00:19:40,080 Aggamemnon, look what happened to him. 323 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,580 -I don't know who that is. 324 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,292 But I know I want to take a wife. 325 00:19:43,292 --> 00:19:46,664 -No! You want a maidservant! A trophy! 326 00:19:46,664 --> 00:19:50,292 A baby oven! A mother! That's what you want! 327 00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:51,416 -No. -Yes! 328 00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:52,792 You don't even know 329 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,580 what you want! 330 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,040 I do! 331 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,580 I want... 332 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,248 that thing. 333 00:19:59,248 --> 00:20:02,000 That thing where you just look at someone, 334 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,456 and they look back at you, 335 00:20:03,456 --> 00:20:05,456 and you see them. 336 00:20:05,456 --> 00:20:08,208 You see them, and they see you, 337 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,792 and you're just there, together, 338 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,456 Two people that know each other. 339 00:20:12,456 --> 00:20:14,292 That know what's inside each other's heart, 340 00:20:14,292 --> 00:20:16,540 and you laugh, and you quarrel, 341 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:19,332 and you just are more yourself when they're there, 342 00:20:19,332 --> 00:20:21,080 than you could ever be when they aren't. 343 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,500 That's what I want. 344 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,416 For a wife. 345 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:31,832 -You... 346 00:20:31,832 --> 00:20:34,040 have someone? You feel that? 347 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,292 For someone? 348 00:20:35,292 --> 00:20:36,416 No. 349 00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:38,248 But I can. 350 00:20:38,248 --> 00:20:40,708 I know there is someone like that for me. 351 00:20:42,416 --> 00:20:44,248 You need a matchmaker. 352 00:20:44,248 --> 00:20:45,580 Not a Witch. 353 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,416 -I'm cursed. 354 00:20:47,416 --> 00:20:48,916 At birth. 355 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,956 By the Evil Wizard. 356 00:20:50,956 --> 00:20:53,000 He said I'll never take a wife. 357 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,416 Can never take a wife, eh. 358 00:20:56,416 --> 00:20:58,000 Exact words? 359 00:21:01,832 --> 00:21:04,956 Sit. 360 00:21:04,956 --> 00:21:07,292 Eat. 361 00:21:07,292 --> 00:21:10,124 -Now, mind you boy, don't eat her soup! 362 00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:16,164 -How was it? 363 00:21:16,164 --> 00:21:18,332 -It's not... 364 00:21:18,332 --> 00:21:19,372 half bad. 365 00:21:20,832 --> 00:21:22,540 -Take off your clothes. 366 00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:24,580 -Is that... 367 00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:26,080 necessary? 368 00:21:27,332 --> 00:21:28,708 -Yes. 369 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:36,292 Mirror, mirror, old and grey, 370 00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:38,916 show me true things far away, 371 00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:40,792 show me where this Man resides, 372 00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:43,332 and who he lives with there besides. 373 00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:46,000 You live with your mother? 374 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,164 There's definitely something wrong with you. 375 00:21:51,456 --> 00:21:53,332 I'll take the job. 376 00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,872 Can you close your eyes? 377 00:21:59,872 --> 00:22:01,372 Please. 378 00:22:01,372 --> 00:22:03,372 Close them! Good! 379 00:22:03,372 --> 00:22:05,292 I will help you break this curse. 380 00:22:05,292 --> 00:22:08,956 But first you will accomplish three tasks of my devising. 381 00:22:08,956 --> 00:22:12,500 It shall be done before thirteen moons have waxed and waned. 382 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,080 And not a second longer. 383 00:22:15,372 --> 00:22:17,208 Close them! 384 00:22:17,208 --> 00:22:19,332 And... 385 00:22:19,332 --> 00:22:20,916 I will be paid! 386 00:22:20,916 --> 00:22:22,624 For this service, you shall give me, 387 00:22:22,624 --> 00:22:25,748 for my very own to keep... 388 00:22:25,748 --> 00:22:27,124 your first born child. 389 00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:31,500 You want a wife or don't you? 390 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,332 -Give me your three tasks, Witch. 391 00:22:33,332 --> 00:22:35,956 I shall accomplish them within thirteen moons. 392 00:22:35,956 --> 00:22:37,916 And when I have a wife... 393 00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:39,872 I shall give to you my first born child 394 00:22:39,872 --> 00:22:41,164 for your very own to keep. 395 00:22:41,164 --> 00:22:42,332 Done! 396 00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:49,332 And you don't think this wife of yours 397 00:22:49,332 --> 00:22:50,748 will have anything to say about it? 398 00:22:51,956 --> 00:22:53,580 -About... 399 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,124 Chucking away your firstborn. 400 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:57,500 -Wait. Was that bit negotiable? 401 00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,080 Could have haggled. 402 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,624 Just blithely promised away 403 00:23:00,624 --> 00:23:02,580 some poor, sweet gal's little pookie. 404 00:23:02,580 --> 00:23:05,456 Nine months of nausea, stretch marks, 405 00:23:05,456 --> 00:23:07,372 aching back, swollen ankles, 406 00:23:07,372 --> 00:23:09,708 and 18 hours frequently deadly 407 00:23:09,708 --> 00:23:12,000 excruciating labor... 408 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,416 Hubby just grabs the little bean, head all steaming, 409 00:23:14,416 --> 00:23:17,248 and gives it to some old lady he met in the woods! 410 00:23:17,248 --> 00:23:18,580 Yeah, I'm sure she'll be very happy 411 00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:19,708 when she finds out about that! 412 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:21,000 Just interesting. 413 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,664 Weensy bit man-centric thinking 414 00:23:22,664 --> 00:23:24,040 if you ask me. 415 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,580 Nevertheless... Ready-set-go! 416 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,708 Can you... 417 00:23:31,708 --> 00:23:32,956 not do that... 418 00:23:32,956 --> 00:23:34,040 -Do what? 419 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,372 -Look at me. 420 00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:38,248 -Oh, em, yes. 421 00:23:38,248 --> 00:23:40,372 Sorry. 422 00:23:47,248 --> 00:23:49,664 -Can you, please, give me the first task? 423 00:23:49,664 --> 00:23:51,624 I'd like to get started. 424 00:23:52,872 --> 00:23:56,124 -You will lift the Sacred Caber of Tam Lin. 425 00:23:57,456 --> 00:23:59,456 -Lift the Caber... 426 00:23:59,456 --> 00:24:00,832 Great. 427 00:24:00,832 --> 00:24:02,872 -Ten thousand times. 428 00:24:02,872 --> 00:24:05,456 -Ten times! It shall be done. -Thousand. 429 00:24:05,456 --> 00:24:07,708 -A thousand, em... 430 00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:11,372 -Ten thousand liftings of the Caber. 431 00:24:12,540 --> 00:24:14,624 -Can we have a second task, then? 432 00:24:14,624 --> 00:24:16,248 Maybe come back to the caber lifting one? 433 00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:17,708 You will lift it by the strength 434 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:20,832 of the body the gods gave you alone. 435 00:24:20,832 --> 00:24:24,372 Return the instant it is done. 436 00:24:25,372 --> 00:24:27,164 13 moons. Three tasks. 437 00:24:27,164 --> 00:24:29,164 No one's getting any younger. 438 00:24:29,164 --> 00:24:31,332 You want a wife? Get started. 439 00:24:31,332 --> 00:24:32,332 Go! 440 00:24:38,624 --> 00:24:42,080 Here's looking at you, kid. 441 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,332 -Um, lost my kid. Sorry. 442 00:24:45,332 --> 00:24:48,124 -Genius. Go back in there. 443 00:24:48,124 --> 00:24:53,456 ♪♪ 444 00:24:58,292 --> 00:24:59,792 -Rosebud. 445 00:25:01,624 --> 00:25:04,000 -I don't know why I said it! 446 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,500 Firstborn child. What a cliché. 447 00:25:09,664 --> 00:25:10,956 Oh. 448 00:25:10,956 --> 00:25:16,916 ♪♪ 449 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,792 It's a poisoned shirt. 450 00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:35,416 I'll boil him! 451 00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:43,580 ♪♪ 452 00:25:48,248 --> 00:25:51,372 -10,000?! -You won't lift it once. 453 00:25:51,372 --> 00:25:53,708 You can't even lift that butter churn! 454 00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:55,416 -What did you pay her with, my lad? 455 00:25:55,416 --> 00:25:58,248 -You didn't promise her any goats, you halfwit? 456 00:25:58,248 --> 00:26:00,332 -No, Mam! 457 00:26:00,332 --> 00:26:02,040 Do you take me for a fool? 458 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,624 -Yes! 459 00:26:06,916 --> 00:26:08,916 I'll lift it. 460 00:26:08,916 --> 00:26:11,832 10,000 times. 461 00:26:13,292 --> 00:26:15,748 -Well, at least you didn't eat the hag's soup! 462 00:26:15,748 --> 00:26:22,916 ♪♪ 463 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:30,080 ♪♪ 464 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,000 -What's the fool doing? 465 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,416 -He's gonna lift it. 466 00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:39,332 -Eventually. 467 00:26:39,332 --> 00:26:40,580 -No. 468 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,164 -He has no technique. 469 00:26:44,164 --> 00:26:46,540 And not a lot of muscles, if we're being honest. 470 00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:48,164 -Heck of a try, though. -What?! 471 00:26:48,164 --> 00:26:49,956 Inspiring effort. 472 00:26:49,956 --> 00:26:51,664 -What? He's really trying! 473 00:26:51,664 --> 00:26:55,372 -No, there is no "try." Only "do." 474 00:26:58,872 --> 00:27:00,164 -Should we go with him, 475 00:27:00,164 --> 00:27:02,208 or do you think he needs some space? 476 00:27:02,208 --> 00:27:04,248 -Aaaah! 477 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,208 -Space. -Yeah. 478 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:08,500 -And as a function of fiscal policy, 479 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:10,664 the justification for any supply side analysis 480 00:27:10,664 --> 00:27:12,872 in the distribution of essential goods and services 481 00:27:12,872 --> 00:27:15,080 in the peasant class -- 482 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,708 Oh, God, am I boring you? 483 00:27:17,708 --> 00:27:19,624 -I'm boring you, aren't I? -No, milady. 484 00:27:19,624 --> 00:27:20,792 Not at all. 485 00:27:21,792 --> 00:27:24,580 Okay, so, anyway, 486 00:27:24,580 --> 00:27:26,580 Reginald the Terrifically Opaque 487 00:27:26,580 --> 00:27:28,580 in his treatise on feudal economies 488 00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,416 often cites stochastic disruptions 489 00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:33,956 in agrarian supply chains, caused by ogres and the like. 490 00:27:37,792 --> 00:27:43,080 ♪♪ 491 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:53,332 ♪♪ 492 00:27:53,332 --> 00:28:01,540 ♪♪ 493 00:28:01,540 --> 00:28:04,000 -Oh! You idiot! 494 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:11,124 ♪♪ 495 00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:18,292 ♪♪ 496 00:28:18,292 --> 00:28:25,416 ♪♪ 497 00:28:31,332 --> 00:28:32,664 -Well? 498 00:28:32,664 --> 00:28:34,124 Did you lift it? 499 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,124 -No, but -- 500 00:28:37,124 --> 00:28:38,248 -What did I tell you? 501 00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:43,000 -I could lift a house when I was your age. 502 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,124 Of course, I took good care of the body the gods gave me. 503 00:28:50,124 --> 00:28:52,208 -Hey, here's one for you. 504 00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:55,292 A donkey, a mule, and a horse go in a bar. 505 00:28:57,124 --> 00:28:58,080 No, hang on. 506 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,208 So, imagine, right, 507 00:29:00,208 --> 00:29:02,248 there's three mules in a bar, right? 508 00:29:02,248 --> 00:29:03,416 Actually, that's every... 509 00:29:03,416 --> 00:29:09,792 ♪♪ 510 00:29:09,792 --> 00:29:16,124 ♪♪ 511 00:29:17,292 --> 00:29:20,208 Barman says, "No, there's no -- only donkeys allowed." 512 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:24,124 ♪♪ 513 00:29:24,124 --> 00:29:25,748 Two mules and a donkey go in a bar. 514 00:29:25,748 --> 00:29:27,332 The barman says to the donkey, 515 00:29:27,332 --> 00:29:28,956 "Are you in the -- Are you part of this lot?" 516 00:29:28,956 --> 00:29:30,708 And he goes, "No, I'm nothing to do with them. 517 00:29:30,708 --> 00:29:31,956 Entirely different species." 518 00:29:35,332 --> 00:29:36,792 Have you heard the one about the three-legged goat? 519 00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:38,456 Have you heard about this one? 520 00:29:42,164 --> 00:29:43,580 Yeah, you heard that? 521 00:29:43,580 --> 00:29:47,664 A mule works -- is working at a monastery. 522 00:29:47,664 --> 00:29:52,208 ♪♪ 523 00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,500 -The ogre stone! 524 00:29:56,956 --> 00:30:00,792 A goatherd who possesses the ogre stone? 525 00:30:01,956 --> 00:30:03,248 -...walk into the bar. 526 00:30:03,248 --> 00:30:05,500 The barman says, "Why the long face?" 527 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,748 -I won't be long. 528 00:30:07,748 --> 00:30:09,040 -Oh, you've heard that one. 529 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:16,456 ♪♪ 530 00:30:16,456 --> 00:30:23,872 ♪♪ 531 00:30:23,872 --> 00:30:25,580 -Hello, Mother. 532 00:30:31,792 --> 00:30:34,792 Darling, you look horrible. 533 00:30:37,956 --> 00:30:40,708 Ah! You found it! 534 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,580 -It found me. 535 00:30:44,540 --> 00:30:47,000 -It found you! 536 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,792 -A goatherd gave it to her. -Who? 537 00:30:52,792 --> 00:30:54,292 -A goatherd! 538 00:30:54,292 --> 00:30:58,124 -A gopher? Imagine that. 539 00:30:58,124 --> 00:31:00,956 Amazing things, gophers. 540 00:31:00,956 --> 00:31:04,372 -She thinks it's the one the Evil Wizard had. 541 00:31:04,372 --> 00:31:08,500 -Is it the one the Evil Wizard had? 542 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:13,708 Imagine it falling into the hands of a gopher! 543 00:31:13,708 --> 00:31:15,416 -Can you use it, husband? 544 00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:18,040 -You know I can use this. 545 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:24,248 To transmute the power locked within is trivial! 546 00:31:24,248 --> 00:31:30,248 Simply channel the plasmic radiance of a thousand suns 547 00:31:30,248 --> 00:31:32,872 through the ogre stone's 548 00:31:32,872 --> 00:31:37,916 crystalitic meta-transmagoric substrata, 549 00:31:37,916 --> 00:31:42,456 while invoking the phantasmica esoterica 550 00:31:42,456 --> 00:31:47,372 so that the transmutation doesn't start a chain reaction 551 00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:52,456 that consumes Earth's 34 astral planes 552 00:31:52,456 --> 00:31:55,040 in apocalyptic fire, 553 00:31:55,040 --> 00:32:01,000 freeing the thousand demons of Beelzebub the Destroyer! 554 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,248 To think, this divine power hiding for years 555 00:32:06,248 --> 00:32:10,664 in the clever paws of a lowly gopher! 556 00:32:10,664 --> 00:32:14,832 Be done in a jiffy if I go then, alright. 557 00:32:16,664 --> 00:32:20,124 -The Sultan offered a hundred goats for your hand, darling. 558 00:32:20,124 --> 00:32:22,916 Stay and meet him. You cannot hold out forever. 559 00:32:22,916 --> 00:32:25,040 -I'm sick. 560 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,208 -Are you, darling? 561 00:32:33,872 --> 00:32:36,248 My snot has turned to honey. 562 00:32:36,248 --> 00:32:37,956 What is it, Mother? Is it fatal? 563 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:42,000 -Darling, have you met someone recently? 564 00:32:43,124 --> 00:32:45,164 -No. 565 00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:47,208 Just the goatherd. 566 00:32:47,208 --> 00:32:49,164 He begged me to take a curse away. 567 00:32:49,164 --> 00:32:51,500 -But you cannot break curses. 568 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,292 -He doesn't know that, does he? 569 00:32:53,292 --> 00:32:55,208 Hmm. 570 00:32:55,208 --> 00:32:56,624 He said he can never take a wife. 571 00:32:56,624 --> 00:32:58,872 It was pitiful. 572 00:32:58,872 --> 00:33:01,956 He had the ogre stone. 573 00:33:01,956 --> 00:33:04,124 He could be Zeus. 574 00:33:04,124 --> 00:33:06,248 Sometimes he disguises himself as a -- 575 00:33:06,248 --> 00:33:07,872 -He is not Zeus. 576 00:33:07,872 --> 00:33:11,624 I think I would know Zeus if I saw Zeus naked. 577 00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:16,872 -You saw the goatherd naked? 578 00:33:16,872 --> 00:33:19,124 Well, well, well, well, well. 579 00:33:19,124 --> 00:33:20,792 That's progress. 580 00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:26,500 -Mother, he is just an ordinary, garden variety goatherd! 581 00:33:26,500 --> 00:33:28,832 With blue eyes. 582 00:33:28,832 --> 00:33:33,000 -Fire in the hole! 583 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,664 -So, how many goats does he have? 584 00:33:34,664 --> 00:33:37,872 No! He's -- 585 00:33:37,872 --> 00:33:39,916 He's a lowly halfwit goatherd 586 00:33:39,916 --> 00:33:42,624 I hoodwinked out of the ogre stone. 587 00:33:42,624 --> 00:33:45,292 Smell this. Is it enchanted? 588 00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:50,872 -No, darling, it's rancid. 589 00:33:50,872 --> 00:33:52,748 It's not enchanted. 590 00:33:57,664 --> 00:33:59,248 -Voila! 591 00:34:01,872 --> 00:34:03,792 I hope this helps. 592 00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:13,500 ♪♪ 593 00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:15,248 -Is this for the butterflies, the honey snot, 594 00:34:15,248 --> 00:34:16,956 and the rainbows? -No, dear. 595 00:34:16,956 --> 00:34:19,832 It's for your hair. It's a disaster. 596 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,248 If the goatherd has a lot of goats, or a castle, 597 00:34:25,248 --> 00:34:28,416 you could do worse. Maybe ask him, if he comes back. 598 00:34:28,416 --> 00:34:30,248 -He isn't coming back. 599 00:34:31,624 --> 00:34:34,248 The task I gave him is impossible. 600 00:34:34,248 --> 00:34:42,080 ♪♪ 601 00:34:44,956 --> 00:34:52,332 ♪♪ 602 00:34:52,332 --> 00:34:59,664 ♪♪ 603 00:35:02,164 --> 00:35:03,664 -Yeah! 604 00:35:03,664 --> 00:35:05,956 You did it! I knew you could do it! 605 00:35:05,956 --> 00:35:07,332 Whoo-hoo! 606 00:35:07,332 --> 00:35:11,748 ♪♪ 607 00:35:15,248 --> 00:35:19,040 -Only 9,999 to go! 608 00:35:20,332 --> 00:35:22,500 -Well, I once ate 50 eggs. -Huh? 609 00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:24,248 -What is wrong with you?! 610 00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:32,664 ♪♪ 611 00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:41,124 ♪♪ 612 00:35:41,124 --> 00:35:49,540 ♪♪ 613 00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:58,000 ♪♪ 614 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:06,416 ♪♪ 615 00:36:06,416 --> 00:36:14,872 ♪♪ 616 00:36:14,872 --> 00:36:23,292 ♪♪ 617 00:36:23,292 --> 00:36:31,708 ♪♪ 618 00:36:31,708 --> 00:36:40,164 ♪♪ 619 00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:48,580 ♪♪ 620 00:36:48,580 --> 00:36:57,040 ♪♪ 621 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:05,456 ♪♪ 622 00:37:07,456 --> 00:37:16,708 ♪♪ 623 00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:25,916 ♪♪ 624 00:37:47,416 --> 00:37:48,748 -Bit longer than I was hoping. 625 00:37:48,748 --> 00:37:52,124 -11 months. First task of three! 626 00:37:52,124 --> 00:37:53,540 -I thought you'd be impressed that I -- 627 00:37:53,540 --> 00:37:56,208 -Impressed? Why would I be impressed? 628 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:57,624 You can't impress a witch. 629 00:37:57,624 --> 00:38:00,080 Succeed, fail -- makes no difference to me. 630 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,208 You probably don't even want me to give you the second task. 631 00:38:02,208 --> 00:38:03,664 -I do! 632 00:38:03,664 --> 00:38:04,792 -Probably think it's a big accomplishment, 633 00:38:04,792 --> 00:38:06,792 lifting a silly piece of wood. 634 00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:09,164 "Oh, look at me. I tossed the Caber. 635 00:38:09,164 --> 00:38:13,000 Look at my big muscles. Look at my strong legs. 636 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,708 Look at my exceedingly toned stomach." 637 00:38:15,708 --> 00:38:17,540 You'll probably spend your life drunk, 638 00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:20,872 bragging about it with your mates at the tavern. 639 00:38:20,872 --> 00:38:23,040 -Are you upset about something? -No. I -- 640 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,624 -You seem upset. -I'm fine. 641 00:38:25,624 --> 00:38:28,416 -Did you...do something to your hair? 642 00:38:30,416 --> 00:38:31,664 -Bless you. 643 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,956 Would you like to give me the second task? 644 00:38:35,956 --> 00:38:37,416 -Why should I? 645 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:38,956 -I thought we had a bargain. 646 00:38:40,124 --> 00:38:44,164 -Each task is harder than the last, you understand. 647 00:38:44,164 --> 00:38:46,916 Set any travail, witch. 648 00:38:46,916 --> 00:38:49,292 I shall accomplish it. 649 00:38:49,292 --> 00:38:51,248 -Do you still live with your mother? 650 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,456 -Yes. -Uh-huh. 651 00:38:54,456 --> 00:38:57,956 You shall seek out the ogre's keep. 652 00:38:57,956 --> 00:39:01,500 You shall slay the ogre king and his many henchmen, 653 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,916 and you shall take possession of his castle. 654 00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:06,664 And redecorate it. 655 00:39:08,416 --> 00:39:09,956 -I'm not all that experienced -- -You said any travail. 656 00:39:09,956 --> 00:39:11,416 -I meant metaphorically speaking. 657 00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:13,040 I could kill, like, many, many spiders or -- 658 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,540 -Ogres. Just kill the ogres. -Or if you had, like -- 659 00:39:14,540 --> 00:39:16,292 an infestation of termites -- -Just do it! 660 00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:17,792 -...like, a big mound of them -- -You said, "Any travail." 661 00:39:17,792 --> 00:39:19,416 -The ogres have plagued our land for 20 years. 662 00:39:19,416 --> 00:39:21,080 -"I will accomplish it." -Whole armies have tried -- 663 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,708 -Like, in a big, manly voice, only you didn't mean it 664 00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:24,040 'cause you're a liar! -It's just very difficult 665 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,580 for someone who's not very experienced 666 00:39:25,580 --> 00:39:27,792 with swords and things to kill a huge number 667 00:39:27,792 --> 00:39:31,080 of well-defended ogres inside their castle! 668 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,664 And redecorating, that's like "two for one" tasks, anyway. 669 00:39:33,664 --> 00:39:38,124 -It's not a suggestion. It's a travail. 670 00:39:38,124 --> 00:39:41,372 To aid you in this dangerous trial, 671 00:39:41,372 --> 00:39:46,708 I will bestow unto you a weapon of unusual power. 672 00:39:48,292 --> 00:39:51,124 -Well, I've fought the ogres plenty in my day, 673 00:39:51,124 --> 00:39:53,540 but never with one of these. 674 00:39:53,540 --> 00:39:57,208 -So, but...can you teach me to fight? 675 00:39:57,208 --> 00:40:00,208 -I could, but it would be a sore trade 676 00:40:00,208 --> 00:40:02,832 for the service you did my leg. 677 00:40:02,832 --> 00:40:04,124 Better you take back your crook 678 00:40:04,124 --> 00:40:05,956 than take up a sword at your age. 679 00:40:08,292 --> 00:40:10,332 Did you find that wife, by the way? 680 00:40:11,832 --> 00:40:13,332 Not yet. 681 00:40:15,792 --> 00:40:18,080 -And so, with the mighty spoon at his side, 682 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,416 he would bravely set out 683 00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:22,372 to lay siege to the ogre's keep... 684 00:40:22,372 --> 00:40:24,164 by himself. 685 00:40:24,164 --> 00:40:26,416 Which in retrospect was... 686 00:40:26,416 --> 00:40:28,748 but anyway, it took a lot of courage. 687 00:40:28,748 --> 00:40:31,208 -They 'll sing songs about this. -No, they won't. 688 00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:33,080 -If we win, they will. -We won't win. 689 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,416 -But if we do somehow win, 690 00:40:34,416 --> 00:40:35,916 they 'll go off on the songs about it. 691 00:40:35,916 --> 00:40:37,916 -No, they won't. We're all going to die. 692 00:40:37,916 --> 00:40:39,500 Some of us will get eaten. 693 00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:41,872 -I long for the gardens of Cordoba, 694 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,500 but first must come the fighting. 695 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:46,040 But then the gardens. -God, you're weird. 696 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:48,540 -The man with the plan! 697 00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:50,416 -What plan? There's no plan. 698 00:40:50,416 --> 00:40:52,916 -There is a plan. He's got the spoon. 699 00:40:52,916 --> 00:40:54,624 -What spoon? That spoon? 700 00:40:54,624 --> 00:40:57,792 -Yeah. That spoon! 701 00:41:01,916 --> 00:41:04,080 -Off you go, bucket-head! 702 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:10,872 ♪♪ 703 00:41:17,456 --> 00:41:18,748 -Hmm. 704 00:41:18,748 --> 00:41:20,748 -We're going to need a bigger spoon. 705 00:41:22,292 --> 00:41:23,832 And a bigger hat... 706 00:41:23,832 --> 00:41:30,456 ♪♪ 707 00:41:37,248 --> 00:41:39,832 -Honestly, that went better than I expected. 708 00:41:39,832 --> 00:41:45,832 -Aaaaaaah! 709 00:41:50,748 --> 00:41:53,164 -It was around this point that the man began to see 710 00:41:53,164 --> 00:41:55,124 that his assault on the ogre's keep 711 00:41:55,124 --> 00:41:56,916 may have been hasty, 712 00:41:56,916 --> 00:41:58,832 and once inside the courtyard, 713 00:41:58,832 --> 00:42:02,624 the flaws in his plan quickly began to reveal themselves. 714 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,792 He'd thought a great deal about how to get in, 715 00:42:06,792 --> 00:42:09,956 but hadn't given as much thought to how to get out. 716 00:42:09,956 --> 00:42:18,624 ♪♪ 717 00:42:18,624 --> 00:42:27,292 ♪♪ 718 00:42:29,292 --> 00:42:36,792 ♪♪ 719 00:42:36,792 --> 00:42:40,164 -No! You idiot! What?! 720 00:42:40,164 --> 00:42:41,792 Not like that! 721 00:42:41,792 --> 00:42:50,332 ♪♪ 722 00:42:54,292 --> 00:42:59,500 ♪♪ 723 00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:04,708 ♪♪ 724 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:16,748 ♪♪ 725 00:43:16,748 --> 00:43:23,664 ♪♪ 726 00:43:23,664 --> 00:43:30,624 ♪♪ 727 00:43:30,624 --> 00:43:35,248 ♪♪ 728 00:43:35,248 --> 00:43:44,500 ♪♪♪♪ 729 00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:51,416 ♪♪ 730 00:43:56,664 --> 00:44:00,872 How are you going to get a wife if you 're dead? 731 00:44:00,872 --> 00:44:04,000 You think that wives want dead husbands?! 732 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,124 -Maybe! Some of them do! I don't know! 733 00:44:07,124 --> 00:44:08,916 You said take the ogre king's castle! 734 00:44:08,916 --> 00:44:10,708 -Yeah, but with a spoon! 735 00:44:10,708 --> 00:44:13,916 -Well, I couldn't club a field mouse to death with this! 736 00:44:13,916 --> 00:44:15,872 -It's not for clubbing! -Ow! 737 00:44:15,872 --> 00:44:17,580 -It's for cooking! 738 00:44:17,580 --> 00:44:20,292 Soup! Cook soup! 739 00:44:20,292 --> 00:44:23,208 Poison the soup with the spoon. 740 00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:25,956 Ogres eat soup. The soup kills them. 741 00:44:25,956 --> 00:44:28,832 and you take their castle! -Ow! 742 00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:30,416 -And redecorate it! 743 00:44:32,292 --> 00:44:34,832 -Aye, that's a better plan. 744 00:44:34,832 --> 00:44:36,292 Why didn't I think of that? 745 00:44:36,292 --> 00:44:38,248 Could have been a little clearer, but anyway. 746 00:44:38,248 --> 00:44:40,540 -Instructions were on the spoon! 747 00:44:40,540 --> 00:44:42,164 Read the instructions! 748 00:44:42,164 --> 00:44:44,164 What kind of man doesn't read the instructions? 749 00:44:47,456 --> 00:44:51,040 -"The Spoon of Unusual Power. 750 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,248 Add ogrebane. 751 00:44:53,248 --> 00:44:54,748 Stir." 752 00:44:54,748 --> 00:44:56,872 -The instructions were simple. 753 00:44:56,872 --> 00:45:00,956 He was to make a soup, add the little herb of ogrebane, 754 00:45:00,956 --> 00:45:04,080 and stir with the mighty spoon. 755 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,664 After that, the soup would kill a mountain troll. 756 00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:10,164 Or a castle full of ogres. 757 00:45:10,164 --> 00:45:12,208 -Can you make soup? 758 00:45:12,208 --> 00:45:13,540 -Of course. 759 00:45:14,540 --> 00:45:15,872 Mam! 760 00:45:17,832 --> 00:45:19,664 I need your recipe for soup. 761 00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:24,708 -Oh, he wants to be the great and mighty cook now, so he does. 762 00:45:25,792 --> 00:45:27,540 -Mam! 763 00:45:27,540 --> 00:45:30,456 Do you want me living here forever with you? 764 00:45:30,456 --> 00:45:33,208 -And carrots...and turnips. 765 00:45:34,956 --> 00:45:37,292 I was talking to your mother -- 766 00:46:02,708 --> 00:46:04,124 -Oh. 767 00:46:04,124 --> 00:46:11,664 ♪♪ 768 00:46:17,124 --> 00:46:20,372 ♪♪ 769 00:46:20,372 --> 00:46:22,916 -Captain, you are a man. 770 00:46:25,248 --> 00:46:28,748 -Yes, sire, I've always felt that I am. 771 00:46:28,748 --> 00:46:31,916 -And why should a king look down on any worthy man, 772 00:46:31,916 --> 00:46:34,500 so long as he has valor in him? 773 00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:38,624 Give it out among all my people that any soul 774 00:46:38,624 --> 00:46:42,164 who rids me of this never-ending curse of ogres 775 00:46:42,164 --> 00:46:44,372 shall earn my daughter's hand. 776 00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:47,580 -Anyone, my king? 777 00:46:47,580 --> 00:46:52,040 -Anyone -- be it the lowliest goatherd or... 778 00:46:54,708 --> 00:46:57,080 ...the captain of my Guard. 779 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,292 ♪♪ 780 00:47:03,956 --> 00:47:05,624 -I made it myself. 781 00:47:05,624 --> 00:47:07,456 A little help, but... 782 00:47:08,708 --> 00:47:13,040 Is it not good? -It's...not half bad. 783 00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:17,372 You 'd be mad to go to the ogre's keep until dark, anyway. 784 00:47:17,372 --> 00:47:18,832 -Maybe you could stay -- -Maybe I could stay -- 785 00:47:18,832 --> 00:47:20,456 -...and have lunch. -...and have lunch 786 00:47:20,456 --> 00:47:21,832 before I go. 787 00:47:23,832 --> 00:47:29,124 ♪♪ 788 00:47:29,124 --> 00:47:34,372 ♪♪ 789 00:47:34,372 --> 00:47:36,164 -The Evil Wizard... 790 00:47:37,540 --> 00:47:39,624 He said I'll never take a wife. 791 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,080 But I'll break that curse. 792 00:47:45,580 --> 00:47:48,164 With your help, I know I can do it. 793 00:47:48,164 --> 00:47:52,580 I see it, like...in my mind. 794 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,580 -You're laughing at me. -No. 795 00:47:56,580 --> 00:47:58,956 -Should have known you can never trust a witch. 796 00:48:02,872 --> 00:48:04,624 I should get going. 797 00:48:07,664 --> 00:48:09,164 -There's one more thing. 798 00:48:10,164 --> 00:48:13,664 We'll need to help you become invisible. 799 00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:16,872 -With magic? 800 00:48:16,872 --> 00:48:19,956 -The witch bestowed on him a mighty disguise, 801 00:48:19,956 --> 00:48:22,292 and with it the ogre stone. 802 00:48:22,292 --> 00:48:24,372 She warned him he must bring to her 803 00:48:24,372 --> 00:48:28,248 the ogre king's golden scalp and his deadly scepter. 804 00:48:28,248 --> 00:48:30,124 And once again she made him promise 805 00:48:30,124 --> 00:48:32,708 to return the instant the task was done. 806 00:48:32,708 --> 00:48:35,792 -I promise I shall return the instant it is done. 807 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,540 -And... 808 00:48:39,832 --> 00:48:41,580 ...don't forget the ogrebane. 809 00:48:41,580 --> 00:48:43,416 -The ogrebane, yeah. I won't forget. 810 00:48:51,664 --> 00:48:53,540 -Goatherd, wait! 811 00:48:53,540 --> 00:48:57,164 Don't...die. 812 00:48:58,164 --> 00:49:02,292 ♪♪ 813 00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:11,332 ♪♪ 814 00:49:16,416 --> 00:49:17,664 -Mm. 815 00:49:24,956 --> 00:49:27,748 -Oh, go on, hurry up! 816 00:49:27,748 --> 00:49:29,332 Quick! 817 00:49:29,332 --> 00:49:35,040 ♪♪ 818 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:40,748 ♪♪ 819 00:49:42,748 --> 00:49:47,792 ♪♪ 820 00:49:49,792 --> 00:49:56,748 ♪♪ 821 00:49:56,748 --> 00:50:03,664 ♪♪ 822 00:50:03,664 --> 00:50:10,624 ♪♪ 823 00:50:10,624 --> 00:50:17,580 ♪♪ 824 00:50:17,580 --> 00:50:24,500 ♪♪ 825 00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:31,456 ♪♪ 826 00:50:33,456 --> 00:50:43,332 ♪♪ 827 00:50:43,332 --> 00:50:53,208 ♪♪ 828 00:50:55,208 --> 00:51:02,956 ♪♪ 829 00:51:04,956 --> 00:51:13,832 ♪♪ 830 00:51:13,832 --> 00:51:22,664 ♪♪ 831 00:51:22,664 --> 00:51:31,540 ♪♪ 832 00:51:35,540 --> 00:51:41,748 ♪♪ 833 00:51:43,748 --> 00:51:52,792 ♪♪ 834 00:51:52,792 --> 00:52:01,792 ♪♪ 835 00:52:01,792 --> 00:52:10,832 ♪♪ 836 00:52:10,832 --> 00:52:19,832 ♪♪ 837 00:52:19,832 --> 00:52:21,916 -The horror. 838 00:52:21,916 --> 00:52:23,580 The horror. 839 00:52:23,580 --> 00:52:26,916 ♪♪ 840 00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:37,000 ♪♪ 841 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:45,080 ♪♪ 842 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:53,164 ♪♪ 843 00:53:02,916 --> 00:53:09,708 ♪♪ 844 00:53:09,708 --> 00:53:16,540 ♪♪ 845 00:53:16,540 --> 00:53:23,332 ♪♪ 846 00:53:23,332 --> 00:53:30,124 ♪♪ 847 00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:36,956 ♪♪ 848 00:53:36,956 --> 00:53:43,748 ♪♪ 849 00:53:43,748 --> 00:53:46,124 -What are we doing here? 850 00:53:46,124 --> 00:53:48,664 -We're waiting. -Waiting for what? 851 00:53:48,664 --> 00:53:51,040 -She wants us to meet the gopher. 852 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:53,916 -Goatherd? 853 00:53:53,916 --> 00:53:55,416 What goatherd? 854 00:53:56,416 --> 00:53:58,748 -Don't ask me how many goats he has. 855 00:53:59,748 --> 00:54:02,248 -How many goats does he have? 856 00:54:03,416 --> 00:54:06,748 -Are you sure he's coming, darling? 857 00:54:06,748 --> 00:54:09,080 Yes. 858 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,916 He better be. 859 00:54:10,916 --> 00:54:14,500 -Stand aside! We've come to lay siege to the ogre king's keep! 860 00:54:14,500 --> 00:54:16,000 And the princess's hand 861 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,624 to that man who takes his golden scalp! 862 00:54:20,956 --> 00:54:23,040 We meet again. 863 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,416 I hope you've left some ogres for the rest of us, countryman! 864 00:54:25,416 --> 00:54:27,332 I've yet to avenge my horse! 865 00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:31,040 Is it your mighty spoon you hide behind your back? 866 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:35,372 Show me your hands, fellow. 867 00:54:38,872 --> 00:54:41,040 The ogre king's fell scepter. 868 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,624 And his golden scalp. 869 00:54:44,624 --> 00:54:47,000 Is this some trick, or... 870 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,624 did you truly best these ogres, by the gods? 871 00:54:49,624 --> 00:54:52,664 -Basically...yes. 872 00:54:52,664 --> 00:54:56,708 But -- -Behold, countrymen, 873 00:54:56,708 --> 00:54:59,040 at long last the Plague of a Thousand Ogres 874 00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:00,872 this day has ended. 875 00:55:02,664 --> 00:55:05,164 And our kingdom has a new champion! 876 00:55:05,164 --> 00:55:07,832 All hail the mighty goatherd! 877 00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:10,792 -Bring him to the King! 878 00:55:12,372 --> 00:55:14,832 -Please, please! I must go to the Banebower Witch! 879 00:55:14,832 --> 00:55:16,080 Please! 880 00:55:31,164 --> 00:55:34,040 -Make way! -Make way for the King's Guard! 881 00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:35,292 -Make way! 882 00:55:35,456 --> 00:55:37,080 -Make way! 883 00:55:38,956 --> 00:55:42,624 -Oh, joyous day! 884 00:55:42,624 --> 00:55:46,872 Captain, I see that here you have brought your king 885 00:55:46,872 --> 00:55:52,164 the very tokens of the enemy he dared never hope to see. 886 00:55:52,164 --> 00:55:59,000 And valor, so nobly and so freely given, must be rewarded. 887 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:03,416 Thus, as I have decreed, you have earned the hand of -- 888 00:56:03,416 --> 00:56:05,664 -Wait. Wait, sire. 889 00:56:05,664 --> 00:56:07,500 Beg pardon, my king, not to interrupt, 890 00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:10,792 but...truly, sire, such valor that I have 891 00:56:10,792 --> 00:56:13,000 I would not steal from any man. 892 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,832 It was not I who slew the ogre king -- 893 00:56:14,832 --> 00:56:17,872 ...but this... 894 00:56:19,624 --> 00:56:22,372 ...this, uh... 895 00:56:22,372 --> 00:56:28,664 very worthy...person...here. 896 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:35,372 -And, um...what is he? 897 00:56:35,372 --> 00:56:38,416 -A goatherd, my sovereign. 898 00:56:41,872 --> 00:56:44,872 -Oh. -How many goats does he have? 899 00:56:49,500 --> 00:56:52,292 -Thus, with the Plague of a Thousand Ogres 900 00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:54,748 finally vanquished, let it be known 901 00:56:54,748 --> 00:56:59,208 that to this common-born man I give my consent 902 00:56:59,208 --> 00:57:02,624 that he be betrothed to my daughter, 903 00:57:02,624 --> 00:57:04,164 the prin-- 904 00:57:07,916 --> 00:57:11,416 -My king...the thing is... 905 00:57:11,416 --> 00:57:12,872 -The thing is? 906 00:57:13,872 --> 00:57:16,124 -Well, the thing is... 907 00:57:16,124 --> 00:57:18,248 -I think I would honored to accept! 908 00:57:18,248 --> 00:57:21,040 -He's honored to accept! 909 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:25,540 The lowliest among us raised on high this day! 910 00:57:29,372 --> 00:57:31,080 No! Wait! 911 00:57:33,580 --> 00:57:37,000 -Not so fast. 912 00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:42,832 Has my face changed so much 913 00:57:42,832 --> 00:57:45,792 since we made our bargain, oh, king? 914 00:57:46,872 --> 00:57:48,500 -"Oh, king"? -Or have you forgotten 915 00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:52,748 the price you promised me then, and so owe to me now, 916 00:57:52,748 --> 00:57:56,416 the wish I granted you, to rid the land of ogres, 917 00:57:56,416 --> 00:57:59,916 now having been fulfilled? 918 00:57:59,916 --> 00:58:01,580 -No man can forget 919 00:58:01,580 --> 00:58:04,500 the Green-Eyed Lady of Banebower Wood, 920 00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:07,248 though time has changed us both. 921 00:58:07,248 --> 00:58:12,540 You did promise me, witch, to break the Evil Wizard's curse 922 00:58:12,540 --> 00:58:14,708 and banish the Plague of A Thousand Ogres, 923 00:58:14,708 --> 00:58:17,792 those many years ago. 924 00:58:17,792 --> 00:58:20,580 But truly, I believe it was by the valor 925 00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:22,416 of this brave goatherd, 926 00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:25,872 and not by any art of yours that we are delivered this day. 927 00:58:25,872 --> 00:58:29,000 -And what does this... goatherd have to say? 928 00:58:30,164 --> 00:58:32,416 -It's your word or hers, my son. 929 00:58:32,416 --> 00:58:34,624 Be careful how you answer. 930 00:58:34,624 --> 00:58:37,000 Here stands my daughter. 931 00:58:45,292 --> 00:58:46,956 -My king... 932 00:58:48,708 --> 00:58:51,456 ...it was she. -Speak up! We can't hear you! 933 00:58:51,456 --> 00:58:53,000 -There's a little gray area, but -- 934 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,832 -Louder! 935 00:58:54,832 --> 00:59:00,916 -The witch it was who gave me The Spoon of Unusual Power -- 936 00:59:00,916 --> 00:59:05,248 -The Spoon of Unusual Power? -It's a spoon. 937 00:59:05,248 --> 00:59:12,000 And she it was who gave me the secret of besting the ogres, 938 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:15,080 the herb of ogrebane. 939 00:59:19,708 --> 00:59:22,872 -Then it seems we must grant the witch her price. 940 00:59:24,872 --> 00:59:26,708 -Father... 941 00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:28,164 what price? 942 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,872 -Go on, king, 943 00:59:34,872 --> 00:59:38,956 tell your extremely fashionable and rather tall princess 944 00:59:38,956 --> 00:59:40,416 what you agreed to. 945 00:59:42,208 --> 00:59:44,664 -That, um... 946 00:59:44,664 --> 00:59:47,832 How did it go, again? Um, yes. 947 00:59:47,832 --> 00:59:52,872 That no man may marry the princess, unless... 948 00:59:52,872 --> 00:59:54,208 -Unless what? 949 00:59:54,208 --> 00:59:57,164 -Unless he pass a trial of my choosing 950 00:59:57,164 --> 01:00:00,000 and thereby earn my consent to marry the princess. 951 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,540 -Wait! What?! -What?! 952 01:00:01,540 --> 01:00:04,124 -Might not be as bad as it sounds. 953 01:00:04,124 --> 01:00:05,792 -Her consent?! 954 01:00:05,792 --> 01:00:08,456 For me to be married? Hers? 955 01:00:08,456 --> 01:00:11,500 A witchy shut-in who wouldn't know heroic true love 956 01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:13,708 from a bloody hole in the ground? 957 01:00:13,708 --> 01:00:17,456 Oh, that's bloody brilliant, that is! 958 01:00:17,456 --> 01:00:20,332 Alright! Let's have it, then. 959 01:00:20,332 --> 01:00:25,416 Tell us, you -- you -- you witch! 960 01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:29,624 What is this super-duper special trial? 961 01:00:29,624 --> 01:00:30,916 -You don't want to know. 962 01:00:30,916 --> 01:00:33,708 - We do! - We definitely do! 963 01:00:35,916 --> 01:00:40,208 -The princess may be betrothed only to such a skillful soul 964 01:00:40,208 --> 01:00:43,664 who shall perform here, before you all, 965 01:00:43,664 --> 01:00:47,956 the Dance of A Thousand Steps! 966 01:00:50,332 --> 01:00:53,624 -Dance Master! Dance Master! 967 01:00:53,624 --> 01:00:56,872 What's the Dance of a Thousand Steps?! 968 01:00:56,872 --> 01:00:59,580 Is it something the kids are doing these days? 969 01:00:59,580 --> 01:01:01,292 And one thing more -- 970 01:01:01,292 --> 01:01:03,580 this task will be accomplished 971 01:01:03,580 --> 01:01:08,872 before the last grain of sand falls from this hourglass, 972 01:01:08,872 --> 01:01:10,872 or... 973 01:01:10,872 --> 01:01:14,208 she shall never be wed at all! 974 01:01:17,956 --> 01:01:24,792 ♪♪ 975 01:01:24,792 --> 01:01:26,748 -How long will that take? 976 01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:29,916 -One week. 977 01:01:31,164 --> 01:01:33,208 -How do you know that? 978 01:01:36,456 --> 01:01:38,040 -How does he know that? 979 01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,416 -Hag! Are you in there, hag? 980 01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:44,040 -I am not a hag! 981 01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:45,248 -You're right. That's a fair point. 982 01:01:45,248 --> 01:01:46,624 I did notice that, actually. 983 01:01:46,624 --> 01:01:48,372 But anyway, you said you would help me. 984 01:01:48,372 --> 01:01:49,956 -Have I not?! 985 01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,792 I have done all that I have promised and more. 986 01:01:52,792 --> 01:01:54,332 More than you were worthy of! 987 01:01:54,332 --> 01:01:56,832 -You said you would help me break the curse! 988 01:01:56,832 --> 01:02:00,916 I said you must help yourself to break it! 989 01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:02,456 -Had me slay the ogres. 990 01:02:02,456 --> 01:02:05,124 That second task wasn't even for me, was it? 991 01:02:05,124 --> 01:02:06,500 It was so that you could keep your promise 992 01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:07,748 to help break the curse of the king, 993 01:02:07,748 --> 01:02:09,540 which -- fair point, again -- 994 01:02:09,540 --> 01:02:11,540 might be a little bit more important than my curse. 995 01:02:11,540 --> 01:02:12,540 -First come, first served! 996 01:02:12,540 --> 01:02:14,208 -You were serving two customers 997 01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:15,832 with one bowl of soup! 998 01:02:15,832 --> 01:02:18,000 -What if I was!? -Well, you might have told me! 999 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,372 You might have kept your promise 1000 01:02:20,372 --> 01:02:22,164 and come straight back! 1001 01:02:22,164 --> 01:02:23,248 You might not have fallen in love 1002 01:02:23,248 --> 01:02:24,664 with the first royal floozy -- 1003 01:02:24,664 --> 01:02:27,540 -Love?! Who said anything about love! 1004 01:02:28,540 --> 01:02:30,872 The king wants me to marry the Princess. 1005 01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,372 What am I going to say? 1006 01:02:32,372 --> 01:02:34,248 -You're old enough to be her father! 1007 01:02:34,248 --> 01:02:37,956 -Look, witch, there aren't an infinite of candidates 1008 01:02:37,956 --> 01:02:41,080 lining up to marry a goatherd! 1009 01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:42,916 I mean, look around. 1010 01:02:42,916 --> 01:02:44,872 There's no one else, is there? 1011 01:02:48,248 --> 01:02:51,372 The third task! You promised three! 1012 01:02:51,372 --> 01:02:53,124 -I gave it to you! 1013 01:02:53,124 --> 01:02:54,832 Or weren't you listening? 1014 01:02:54,832 --> 01:02:58,332 Go! Learn the Dance of A Thousand Steps 1015 01:02:58,332 --> 01:03:02,080 so you can have your princess and live happily ever after. 1016 01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:03,872 -But -- -Do you want a wife? 1017 01:03:03,872 --> 01:03:07,416 Or don't you? -I can't dance! 1018 01:03:07,416 --> 01:03:09,792 I can't dance! 1019 01:03:09,792 --> 01:03:13,040 I can't dance a dance of two steps, never mind a thousand! 1020 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:14,748 And even if I could dance, 1021 01:03:14,748 --> 01:03:16,624 I certainly couldn't dance in front of other people! 1022 01:03:16,624 --> 01:03:17,792 I don't know why. My mouth goes dry, 1023 01:03:17,792 --> 01:03:19,248 my knees start to shake. 1024 01:03:19,248 --> 01:03:21,124 It makes me want to lose my soup -- 1025 01:03:21,124 --> 01:03:23,416 in both directions! 1026 01:03:23,416 --> 01:03:25,208 You saw me out there! 1027 01:03:25,208 --> 01:03:27,624 The only thing I am capable of doing 1028 01:03:27,624 --> 01:03:31,872 in front of a crowd of people is drooling on myself! 1029 01:03:31,872 --> 01:03:37,040 A dance?! Are you daft, witch?! 1030 01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,124 How will I even learn it? 1031 01:03:40,124 --> 01:03:41,580 -Figure it out. 1032 01:03:42,580 --> 01:03:44,456 -The payment. 1033 01:03:44,456 --> 01:03:49,372 My firstborn -- there won't be one if I fail. 1034 01:03:49,372 --> 01:03:51,332 Don't you want a child, witch? 1035 01:03:58,248 --> 01:03:59,748 This isn't fair. 1036 01:04:04,124 --> 01:04:07,540 -No. It isn't. 1037 01:04:07,540 --> 01:04:15,580 ♪♪ 1038 01:04:15,580 --> 01:04:23,624 ♪♪ 1039 01:04:27,416 --> 01:04:30,164 You! -Him. 1040 01:04:32,164 --> 01:04:34,832 -My liege. My lady. 1041 01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:43,080 I lifted the Sacred caber of Tam Lin 10,000 times. 1042 01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,500 I slew the ogre king and his ogres, 1043 01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:49,540 took his castle, and redecorated it. 1044 01:04:49,540 --> 01:04:53,040 If I can do these impossible things... 1045 01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:56,456 I can learn the Dance of a Thousand Steps... 1046 01:04:57,872 --> 01:04:59,124 ...in a week. 1047 01:05:00,124 --> 01:05:03,708 -Fairly spoken, lowly goatherd. 1048 01:05:03,708 --> 01:05:05,456 Dancing Master, have you found 1049 01:05:05,456 --> 01:05:08,832 this so-called Dance of a Thousand Steps in your scrolls? 1050 01:05:08,832 --> 01:05:10,456 -Oh, here's a lovely one -- 1051 01:05:10,456 --> 01:05:12,916 the Dance of Many Abstract Movements. 1052 01:05:12,916 --> 01:05:15,248 -No, no, no! We all heard her. 1053 01:05:15,248 --> 01:05:18,040 It must be no other than the one she commanded -- 1054 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,124 the Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1055 01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:21,624 You don't know it? 1056 01:05:21,624 --> 01:05:23,916 -Sire, it is but a legend. 1057 01:05:23,916 --> 01:05:25,956 -What do I pay you for, you clod?! 1058 01:05:25,956 --> 01:05:27,664 -Yes! Found it. 1059 01:05:28,664 --> 01:05:31,916 The Bouncing Banshee of Loch Licht, in her 80th year, 1060 01:05:31,916 --> 01:05:33,624 hung up her famous clogs for good 1061 01:05:33,624 --> 01:05:35,664 and set to recording -- -Never mind that. 1062 01:05:35,664 --> 01:05:37,832 Let us see it! 1063 01:05:37,832 --> 01:05:40,372 -"The Dance of a Thousand Steps... 1064 01:05:40,372 --> 01:05:41,872 Scroll one..." 1065 01:05:44,580 --> 01:05:46,832 -"Of five." 1066 01:05:46,832 --> 01:05:51,872 -My lady, I shall do all I can to learn this dance. 1067 01:05:51,872 --> 01:05:53,748 -It's only the future of the kingdom at stake. 1068 01:05:53,748 --> 01:05:55,292 So... 1069 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,000 ...no pressure. 1070 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:04,372 ♪♪ 1071 01:06:04,372 --> 01:06:05,832 -Any chance he pulls it off? 1072 01:06:05,832 --> 01:06:07,580 -Oh, God, I hope not. 1073 01:06:07,580 --> 01:06:16,000 ♪♪ 1074 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:24,416 ♪♪ 1075 01:06:24,416 --> 01:06:26,124 -That's looking pretty good. 1076 01:06:26,124 --> 01:06:28,500 Right? -Wrong. 1077 01:06:28,500 --> 01:06:30,708 Maybe take it from the top. 1078 01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:37,080 ♪♪ 1079 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:41,124 -Lifted a big stump like a dolt for months on end, 1080 01:06:41,124 --> 01:06:45,872 slew that ogre king, and all for what? 1081 01:06:45,872 --> 01:06:49,916 He can't dance, never could. 1082 01:06:49,916 --> 01:06:52,624 Could have married a princess, 1083 01:06:52,624 --> 01:06:55,080 but oh, no, not him. 1084 01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,624 Worthless! 1085 01:06:56,624 --> 01:06:59,540 Just like his father, so he is -- 1086 01:06:59,540 --> 01:07:04,456 his worthless father who wanted to be a wizard! 1087 01:07:04,456 --> 01:07:06,748 Oh, I wasn't good enough for the likes of him, was I? 1088 01:07:07,956 --> 01:07:12,000 And there you were, a sweet little babe at my teat. 1089 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,832 And into a rage he goes and curses you, 1090 01:07:14,832 --> 01:07:17,000 his only son! 1091 01:07:18,292 --> 01:07:20,916 So, if you want to know why you 're a lonely, 1092 01:07:20,916 --> 01:07:24,540 worthless, daydreaming eejit who'll never take a wife, 1093 01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:30,164 just your nefarious evil wizard of a father who cursed you! 1094 01:07:30,164 --> 01:07:38,416 ♪♪ 1095 01:07:38,416 --> 01:07:46,664 ♪♪ 1096 01:07:46,664 --> 01:07:48,872 -You're too hard on the boy. 1097 01:07:48,872 --> 01:07:51,748 It ain't his fault he's the son of the wizard. 1098 01:07:51,748 --> 01:07:56,000 ♪♪ 1099 01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:11,040 ♪♪ 1100 01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:15,080 -The goatherd despaired of his future... 1101 01:08:16,664 --> 01:08:20,332 ...while the witch despaired of her past. 1102 01:08:25,124 --> 01:08:28,164 -For though she had banished the wizard, 1103 01:08:28,164 --> 01:08:33,456 his third curse had caught her at last. 1104 01:08:33,456 --> 01:08:42,708 ♪♪ 1105 01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:51,916 ♪♪ 1106 01:08:51,916 --> 01:08:57,872 -I doom you, I doom you by this hand to never love, 1107 01:08:57,872 --> 01:09:03,332 except it be to love the betrothed of another! 1108 01:09:03,332 --> 01:09:06,540 ♪♪ 1109 01:10:05,248 --> 01:10:10,708 ♪♪ 1110 01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:16,124 ♪♪ 1111 01:10:16,124 --> 01:10:18,164 -It was you. 1112 01:10:18,164 --> 01:10:24,124 ♪♪ 1113 01:10:24,124 --> 01:10:26,500 I've seen you. 1114 01:10:26,500 --> 01:10:28,416 I've seen you dance. 1115 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:35,332 You dance like wind in fields of golden wheat. 1116 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,164 You move like the light of a full moon 1117 01:10:39,164 --> 01:10:41,372 on a surface of a swift stream. 1118 01:10:42,372 --> 01:10:45,916 You dance -- You dance the way music dances in ears, 1119 01:10:45,916 --> 01:10:47,792 the way hearts dance... 1120 01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:50,832 ...when they are in love. 1121 01:10:53,832 --> 01:10:56,208 The Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1122 01:10:58,208 --> 01:10:59,792 It's not a legend. 1123 01:11:00,832 --> 01:11:03,000 You created it. 1124 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:04,416 Your dance. 1125 01:11:05,416 --> 01:11:06,748 Teach it to me! 1126 01:11:06,748 --> 01:11:08,292 Teach it to me in these three days 1127 01:11:08,292 --> 01:11:11,080 and let me lift this curse from our land! 1128 01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:15,580 I'm a good man! 1129 01:11:17,248 --> 01:11:19,164 A kind man! 1130 01:11:20,916 --> 01:11:23,248 A loyal man! 1131 01:11:25,332 --> 01:11:27,664 And I'm a strong man. 1132 01:11:29,664 --> 01:11:31,580 You taught me that! 1133 01:11:32,832 --> 01:11:35,164 Teach me your dance! 1134 01:11:38,332 --> 01:11:40,164 Please, witch. 1135 01:11:41,164 --> 01:11:42,372 -Teach you? 1136 01:11:43,372 --> 01:11:45,792 So you may be betrothed? 1137 01:11:47,456 --> 01:11:53,040 -Can you truly not understand what it is to be cursed? 1138 01:11:54,748 --> 01:11:58,580 Yes...I can. 1139 01:12:01,664 --> 01:12:03,416 I'll teach you. 1140 01:12:07,792 --> 01:12:09,500 -Why are you laughing? 1141 01:12:12,208 --> 01:12:14,124 -I'm really not sure. 1142 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,500 But remember, 1143 01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:21,708 each task is harder than the last. 1144 01:12:21,708 --> 01:12:24,416 One...two... -One... 1145 01:12:24,416 --> 01:12:26,624 -And my dance is only for the true of heart. 1146 01:12:26,624 --> 01:12:30,792 Three...four. -Three...four. 1147 01:12:30,792 --> 01:12:34,624 -Five, six, seven... 1148 01:12:34,624 --> 01:12:35,916 16. 1149 01:12:35,916 --> 01:12:37,832 -Why 16? That's only eight. 1150 01:12:39,664 --> 01:12:41,456 Eight for me. 1151 01:12:42,540 --> 01:12:44,292 Eight for you. 1152 01:12:45,540 --> 01:12:46,832 16. 1153 01:12:48,124 --> 01:12:51,540 -The Dance of a Thousand Steps. 1154 01:12:51,540 --> 01:12:54,040 It's a dance for two people. 1155 01:12:55,164 --> 01:12:57,748 I don't need to learn a thousand steps. 1156 01:12:58,748 --> 01:13:02,456 I only need to learn 500. 1157 01:13:02,456 --> 01:13:10,124 ♪♪ 1158 01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:17,792 ♪♪ 1159 01:13:17,792 --> 01:13:25,456 ♪♪ 1160 01:13:25,456 --> 01:13:33,124 ♪♪ 1161 01:13:33,124 --> 01:13:40,792 ♪♪ 1162 01:13:40,792 --> 01:13:48,456 ♪♪ 1163 01:13:48,456 --> 01:13:56,124 ♪♪ 1164 01:13:56,124 --> 01:14:03,792 ♪♪ 1165 01:14:09,956 --> 01:14:11,540 I can't. 1166 01:14:12,540 --> 01:14:14,080 I can't. -You can. 1167 01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:16,248 It's just a few steps more. 1168 01:14:16,248 --> 01:14:18,664 -It's not the steps. 1169 01:14:18,664 --> 01:14:21,080 I can do the steps. 1170 01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:23,872 Here. Alone. With you. 1171 01:14:26,540 --> 01:14:28,332 It's in front of everyone. 1172 01:14:29,332 --> 01:14:31,416 I just go blank. 1173 01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,792 I'm hopeless. 1174 01:14:34,792 --> 01:14:36,372 -Close your eyes. 1175 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,416 Close them. 1176 01:14:43,540 --> 01:14:45,208 Just finish the dance 1177 01:14:45,208 --> 01:14:47,208 with your heart, 1178 01:14:47,208 --> 01:14:49,372 not your feet. 1179 01:14:49,372 --> 01:14:50,708 Slow. 1180 01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,748 996. 1181 01:14:57,500 --> 01:14:59,416 97. 1182 01:15:01,208 --> 01:15:03,000 Eight. 1183 01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:04,456 Nine. 1184 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,708 A thousand. 1185 01:15:15,164 --> 01:15:16,708 And one. 1186 01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:18,748 Now, just do it a hundred times. 1187 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,248 -The dance? 1188 01:15:21,248 --> 01:15:23,124 Or... 1189 01:15:40,292 --> 01:15:41,872 It's my mother. 1190 01:15:42,956 --> 01:15:45,040 She wants to watch us practice. 1191 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:51,792 ♪♪ 1192 01:15:51,792 --> 01:15:58,540 ♪♪ 1193 01:15:58,540 --> 01:16:05,292 ♪♪ 1194 01:16:10,124 --> 01:16:12,124 -That's all of it, then, is it? 1195 01:16:13,416 --> 01:16:15,040 -She seems nice. 1196 01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:20,664 -Now, what's for supper? 1197 01:16:43,248 --> 01:16:47,000 -You enjoy witching, then, do you? 1198 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,540 -I make my own hours. 1199 01:16:48,540 --> 01:16:52,208 -It's potions and unguents and that, is it? 1200 01:16:52,208 --> 01:16:55,580 -I turn people I don't like into mushrooms. 1201 01:16:55,580 --> 01:16:58,372 -Do you cook? Do you sew? 1202 01:16:58,372 --> 01:17:02,332 -I dance naked by the light of the full bright moon. 1203 01:17:03,416 --> 01:17:05,540 -I should have been a witch. 1204 01:17:06,624 --> 01:17:11,248 Two score years, and my son is finally a man. 1205 01:17:11,248 --> 01:17:13,080 A fine, strong man. 1206 01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:16,164 Has this palace to live in now. 1207 01:17:16,164 --> 01:17:19,040 Dances, so he does! 1208 01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:22,792 He was always a good lad. I'm so proud of him. 1209 01:17:22,792 --> 01:17:24,956 So proud, I am. 1210 01:17:26,124 --> 01:17:29,624 I never believed in his father's stupid curse. 1211 01:17:29,624 --> 01:17:32,208 -His father? 1212 01:17:32,208 --> 01:17:34,372 -The Evil Wizard. 1213 01:17:34,372 --> 01:17:37,500 Abandoned us. Cursed the boy. 1214 01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:40,792 I was just a young thing. Love's fool. 1215 01:17:40,792 --> 01:17:43,292 But then, aren't we all? 1216 01:17:43,292 --> 01:17:51,332 ♪♪ 1217 01:17:51,332 --> 01:17:54,292 He'll dance this strange dance of yours. 1218 01:17:54,292 --> 01:17:56,208 I know he will. 1219 01:17:56,208 --> 01:17:59,624 And then he'll marry the princess, 1220 01:17:59,624 --> 01:18:02,956 and their firstborn, my grandchild, 1221 01:18:02,956 --> 01:18:05,456 will one day sit on the throne, 1222 01:18:05,456 --> 01:18:09,500 and I can die a happy soul knowing that, I can tell you. 1223 01:18:12,292 --> 01:18:15,748 You've never had a child, have you, witch? 1224 01:18:15,748 --> 01:18:23,332 ♪♪ 1225 01:18:26,372 --> 01:18:29,456 -She's not always...like that. 1226 01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:34,708 -So, you are a wizard? 1227 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,292 -The son of one. 1228 01:18:39,292 --> 01:18:41,332 It's not the same. -You didn't tell me. 1229 01:18:41,332 --> 01:18:42,456 -You never asked. 1230 01:18:42,456 --> 01:18:44,540 He left when I was a babe. 1231 01:18:45,540 --> 01:18:47,916 I'm just a goatherd. Truly. 1232 01:18:47,916 --> 01:18:49,540 -A goatherd who breaks curses. 1233 01:18:49,540 --> 01:18:52,580 -I haven't! Not yet. 1234 01:18:52,580 --> 01:18:54,580 Would you like to practice some more together? 1235 01:18:54,580 --> 01:18:57,540 -You know the dance. And you will succeed. 1236 01:18:57,540 --> 01:18:59,832 -How can you be so sure? 1237 01:18:59,832 --> 01:19:03,832 -Because...I'm cursed. 1238 01:19:03,832 --> 01:19:06,208 -I don't understand. -But I do. 1239 01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:10,080 So clever. So evil. 1240 01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:11,416 -Who? 1241 01:19:11,416 --> 01:19:13,956 -Your father, the wizard who cursed me. 1242 01:19:14,956 --> 01:19:17,580 He cursed you, he cursed the king, 1243 01:19:17,580 --> 01:19:19,208 and before I banished him forever, 1244 01:19:19,208 --> 01:19:20,916 he cursed me, too. 1245 01:19:20,916 --> 01:19:25,792 Three curses, and one unbreakable chain of misery! 1246 01:19:25,792 --> 01:19:27,624 -Can you not just give yourself three tasks? 1247 01:19:27,624 --> 01:19:29,456 -It doesn't work that way. -Well, it worked for me! 1248 01:19:29,456 --> 01:19:31,040 -You 're a wizard! 1249 01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:33,292 -I'm just a goatherd! That's all I am! 1250 01:19:33,292 --> 01:19:35,124 -No! -I am not a wizard! 1251 01:19:35,124 --> 01:19:39,832 -You must be because the tasks I gave you were impossible! 1252 01:19:39,832 --> 01:19:41,416 That was the whole point! 1253 01:19:41,416 --> 01:19:43,372 -Why would you give me impossible tasks? 1254 01:19:43,372 --> 01:19:45,416 -Why did you accomplish them?! 1255 01:19:45,416 --> 01:19:47,456 Why did you keep coming back?! 1256 01:19:47,456 --> 01:19:51,624 Why didn't you quit, when there was no hope?! 1257 01:19:51,624 --> 01:19:58,456 ♪♪ 1258 01:19:58,456 --> 01:20:05,248 ♪♪ 1259 01:20:05,248 --> 01:20:07,124 -What was your curse? 1260 01:20:10,164 --> 01:20:15,372 -I may only love the betrothed of another. 1261 01:20:15,372 --> 01:20:22,208 ♪♪ 1262 01:20:22,208 --> 01:20:24,792 Tomorrow, you will win the princess' hand 1263 01:20:24,792 --> 01:20:27,080 and be betrothed to her. 1264 01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:32,916 And I -- oh, what a fool. 1265 01:20:34,664 --> 01:20:36,456 What a fool I've been! 1266 01:20:36,456 --> 01:20:39,332 -Wait, come back. Please, witch, don't go! 1267 01:20:39,332 --> 01:20:42,664 -The witch finally understood the cruel fate 1268 01:20:42,664 --> 01:20:45,208 the Evil Wizard had set down for her. 1269 01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:47,164 -Keep your bargain! 1270 01:20:47,164 --> 01:20:51,080 -And so, she fled, unsure what she must do. 1271 01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,540 Keep her bargain with the goatherd, 1272 01:20:54,540 --> 01:20:56,624 only to lose him forever, 1273 01:20:56,624 --> 01:20:58,708 or break her promise, 1274 01:20:58,708 --> 01:21:02,000 knowing he would never forgive her. 1275 01:21:04,872 --> 01:21:06,540 The day had come, 1276 01:21:06,540 --> 01:21:09,792 and the kingdom's hopes hung by a thread. 1277 01:21:09,792 --> 01:21:13,000 All that night and into morning, no one -- 1278 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:16,000 not the king, nor the princess, 1279 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:19,292 not the man's mother, not the neighbor, 1280 01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:23,164 nor the man, not his closest friends, 1281 01:21:23,164 --> 01:21:26,500 perhaps not even the witch herself could guess what pain, 1282 01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:31,208 what joy, what fate this day might contain. 1283 01:21:31,208 --> 01:21:37,832 ♪♪ 1284 01:22:10,748 --> 01:22:12,956 -Is our champion ready to perform 1285 01:22:12,956 --> 01:22:15,416 the Dance of a Thousand Steps? 1286 01:22:16,708 --> 01:22:19,080 Well? What's the matter with him? 1287 01:22:19,080 --> 01:22:21,416 -Don't tell me I put on this getup for nothing. 1288 01:22:21,416 --> 01:22:23,832 -You look very beautiful. 1289 01:22:23,832 --> 01:22:25,208 Thank you. 1290 01:22:26,332 --> 01:22:27,500 So do you. 1291 01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:29,080 -Goatherd! 1292 01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:32,080 The sand in the glass draws low. 1293 01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:34,248 Will you dance and give your king -- 1294 01:22:34,248 --> 01:22:36,748 and all this kingdom -- hope? 1295 01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:47,416 ♪♪ 1296 01:22:49,416 --> 01:22:55,456 ♪♪ 1297 01:22:55,456 --> 01:22:57,664 She's dancing with him. 1298 01:22:57,664 --> 01:23:00,208 -Of course! A partner dance. 1299 01:23:00,208 --> 01:23:07,792 ♪♪ 1300 01:23:07,792 --> 01:23:15,332 ♪♪ 1301 01:23:17,332 --> 01:23:24,708 ♪♪ 1302 01:23:26,708 --> 01:23:29,372 ♪♪ 1303 01:23:31,372 --> 01:23:39,872 ♪♪ 1304 01:23:41,872 --> 01:23:45,872 ♪♪ 1305 01:23:47,872 --> 01:23:54,956 ♪♪ 1306 01:23:56,956 --> 01:24:03,456 ♪♪ 1307 01:24:07,456 --> 01:24:16,916 ♪♪ 1308 01:24:16,916 --> 01:24:26,416 ♪♪ 1309 01:24:26,416 --> 01:24:35,872 ♪♪ 1310 01:24:37,872 --> 01:24:46,832 ♪♪ 1311 01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:55,792 ♪♪ 1312 01:24:57,792 --> 01:25:03,248 ♪♪ 1313 01:25:03,248 --> 01:25:08,664 ♪♪ 1314 01:25:10,664 --> 01:25:16,372 ♪♪ 1315 01:25:16,372 --> 01:25:22,080 ♪♪ 1316 01:25:28,916 --> 01:25:31,040 -He's done it! 1317 01:25:31,040 --> 01:25:33,540 -Bravo! Bravo! 1318 01:25:36,080 --> 01:25:38,916 -Mine! He's mine! 1319 01:25:45,372 --> 01:25:48,540 -Wait! Goatherd! 1320 01:25:48,540 --> 01:25:50,500 How many goats do you have?! 1321 01:25:51,500 --> 01:25:55,708 -Kneel, most determined sir. 1322 01:25:55,708 --> 01:26:00,372 And before take the hand of your princess, 1323 01:26:00,372 --> 01:26:05,080 I bestow unto you this name and title -- 1324 01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:08,624 Lord Ogrebane the Very Fortunate. 1325 01:26:10,416 --> 01:26:16,416 And let this very day there be a royal wedding, 1326 01:26:16,416 --> 01:26:20,372 the likes of which none have ever seen! 1327 01:26:28,208 --> 01:26:30,540 -Put that on. It's one of my finest. 1328 01:26:54,916 --> 01:27:02,248 -And in such holy union as no man nor woman may dissolve, 1329 01:27:02,248 --> 01:27:05,248 we are gathered to witness... 1330 01:27:11,540 --> 01:27:16,540 For when two loving souls are so enthralled to one another, 1331 01:27:16,540 --> 01:27:19,080 who can stand between them? 1332 01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:27,416 ♪♪ 1333 01:27:27,416 --> 01:27:34,792 ♪♪ 1334 01:27:34,792 --> 01:27:42,124 ♪♪ 1335 01:27:42,124 --> 01:27:44,000 -Not half bad. 1336 01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:45,832 -I'm trying! 1337 01:27:45,832 --> 01:27:53,208 ♪♪ 1338 01:27:53,208 --> 01:28:00,580 ♪♪ 1339 01:28:00,580 --> 01:28:03,000 -Maybe ask him if he comes back. 1340 01:28:04,292 --> 01:28:06,208 -What was your curse? 1341 01:28:06,208 --> 01:28:10,416 -I may only love the betrothed of another. 1342 01:28:10,416 --> 01:28:15,500 ♪♪ 1343 01:28:15,500 --> 01:28:20,580 ♪♪ 1344 01:28:20,580 --> 01:28:23,456 The exact words! 1345 01:28:23,456 --> 01:28:26,748 -Should anyone present know of any reason 1346 01:28:26,748 --> 01:28:31,748 that this man and woman should not be joined in matrimony, 1347 01:28:31,748 --> 01:28:35,540 speak now or forever hold your peace. 1348 01:28:35,540 --> 01:28:41,748 ♪♪ 1349 01:28:41,748 --> 01:28:46,040 And will you freely take this princess 1350 01:28:46,040 --> 01:28:48,748 to be your wedded wife? 1351 01:28:48,748 --> 01:28:53,624 ♪♪ 1352 01:28:53,624 --> 01:28:56,164 -Oh, absolutely not. 1353 01:29:00,624 --> 01:29:02,040 Oh, it's not you, Princess. 1354 01:29:02,040 --> 01:29:04,000 You're far too fair and fine 1355 01:29:04,000 --> 01:29:06,872 for a scruffy old goatherd like me. 1356 01:29:06,872 --> 01:29:11,080 And besides, sire, I promised my firstborn child to the witch. 1357 01:29:11,080 --> 01:29:13,956 Can't imagine that would sit very well with your daughter, 1358 01:29:13,956 --> 01:29:15,164 would it? 1359 01:29:17,872 --> 01:29:21,124 But really, I'm old enough to be her father. 1360 01:29:24,208 --> 01:29:25,956 -Are you serious? 1361 01:29:27,416 --> 01:29:30,040 Are you actually serious with this? 1362 01:29:30,040 --> 01:29:34,664 10 years waiting patiently, biting my tongue, 1363 01:29:34,664 --> 01:29:36,416 while an uncountable hoard 1364 01:29:36,416 --> 01:29:39,292 of universally objectionable dead fiancés 1365 01:29:39,292 --> 01:29:41,748 piles up at my feet, 1366 01:29:41,748 --> 01:29:43,540 and after that -- 1367 01:29:43,540 --> 01:29:46,916 after years of meekly enduring all that, 1368 01:29:46,916 --> 01:29:48,416 what happens? 1369 01:29:49,416 --> 01:29:54,000 I am farmed out like some piece of livestock 1370 01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:58,248 to this ancient, bumbling, addle-witted, 1371 01:29:58,248 --> 01:30:01,456 appallingly pungent goatherd -- 1372 01:30:02,540 --> 01:30:04,372 ...no offense -- 1373 01:30:04,372 --> 01:30:06,832 with the sole object of producing an heir 1374 01:30:06,832 --> 01:30:10,040 to perpetuate the insupportable charade 1375 01:30:10,040 --> 01:30:13,540 of a morally retrograde patrilineal monarchy. 1376 01:30:13,540 --> 01:30:15,456 And what's it all in aid of? 1377 01:30:15,456 --> 01:30:18,416 What's the grand finale to the clichéd trope 1378 01:30:18,416 --> 01:30:23,080 of marrying off your princess to some random bumpkin 1379 01:30:23,080 --> 01:30:28,124 who wins a spectacularly weird dance contest? 1380 01:30:28,124 --> 01:30:31,000 Yes, that's right. 1381 01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:34,664 The big "wow" finish to her personal narrative 1382 01:30:34,664 --> 01:30:38,292 is to suffer the rank humiliation, 1383 01:30:38,292 --> 01:30:40,792 the utter ignominy, 1384 01:30:40,792 --> 01:30:43,580 of being summarily abandoned at the altar 1385 01:30:43,580 --> 01:30:46,292 by said senior citizen, 1386 01:30:46,292 --> 01:30:49,540 who was going to give my firstborn child 1387 01:30:49,540 --> 01:30:55,540 to a cantankerous con artist he met in the woods! 1388 01:31:04,040 --> 01:31:05,956 Wait, witch! 1389 01:31:10,872 --> 01:31:12,164 -You're married. 1390 01:31:13,164 --> 01:31:14,708 -Betrothed. 1391 01:31:16,372 --> 01:31:19,500 -But not...married? 1392 01:31:23,124 --> 01:31:25,000 I love you. 1393 01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:26,540 -You do? 1394 01:31:28,208 --> 01:31:29,872 How do you know? 1395 01:31:29,872 --> 01:31:33,124 -Because I'm more myself when you 're there 1396 01:31:33,124 --> 01:31:36,040 than I could ever be when you aren't. 1397 01:31:37,748 --> 01:31:41,872 But, you know, I've been told 1398 01:31:41,872 --> 01:31:44,456 I can never take a wife. 1399 01:31:44,456 --> 01:31:48,000 -Then will you let a witch take you? 1400 01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:50,000 -Yes, witch. 1401 01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:51,748 That I surely will. 1402 01:31:51,748 --> 01:31:56,292 ♪♪ 1403 01:31:56,292 --> 01:31:58,664 -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 1404 01:31:58,664 --> 01:32:01,580 You're the one who said I had to marry Lord Ogrebottom -- 1405 01:32:01,580 --> 01:32:03,500 Ogrebrain -- Ogrebane. 1406 01:32:03,500 --> 01:32:05,624 Who am I supposed to marry now? 1407 01:32:09,248 --> 01:32:13,292 -Princess, if you're truly so keen on getting married, 1408 01:32:13,292 --> 01:32:17,832 then I think you should marry anyone you like. 1409 01:32:17,832 --> 01:32:26,540 ♪♪ 1410 01:32:26,540 --> 01:32:35,248 ♪♪ 1411 01:32:35,248 --> 01:32:36,664 -Oh. 1412 01:32:36,664 --> 01:32:39,792 ♪♪ 1413 01:32:53,540 --> 01:32:55,208 ♪♪ 1414 01:32:55,208 --> 01:32:57,832 -♪ Mm, yeah ♪ 1415 01:32:57,832 --> 01:33:02,080 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1416 01:33:02,080 --> 01:33:06,332 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1417 01:33:06,500 --> 01:33:10,832 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1418 01:33:10,832 --> 01:33:12,792 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1419 01:33:12,792 --> 01:33:15,208 ♪ Hey, alright now ♪ 1420 01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:17,164 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1421 01:33:17,164 --> 01:33:19,416 ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ 1422 01:33:19,416 --> 01:33:20,708 -Mazel Tov! 1423 01:33:22,040 --> 01:33:25,956 -And that's the legend of how my best friend, a lowly goatherd, 1424 01:33:25,956 --> 01:33:29,164 became Lord Ogrebane the Very Fortunate 1425 01:33:29,164 --> 01:33:30,580 and how he came to marry 1426 01:33:30,580 --> 01:33:33,416 the Green-Eyed Lady of Banebower Wood 1427 01:33:33,416 --> 01:33:35,916 and how the Cursed Kingdom came to be called 1428 01:33:35,916 --> 01:33:38,080 the Contented Kingdom once more. 1429 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:39,624 Because in the end, 1430 01:33:39,624 --> 01:33:42,832 even an Evil Wizard's curses are no match 1431 01:33:42,832 --> 01:33:45,872 for the mischievous child they call Love. 1432 01:33:45,872 --> 01:33:48,080 -He had her at "hag." 1433 01:33:48,080 --> 01:33:51,292 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the Evil Wizard -- 1434 01:33:51,292 --> 01:33:53,580 what about that mean, old whackadoodledoo? 1435 01:33:53,580 --> 01:33:54,664 -Oh, him. 1436 01:33:56,664 --> 01:34:03,040 ♪♪ 1437 01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:09,372 ♪♪ 1438 01:34:09,372 --> 01:34:12,332 Well, that's a whole 'nother story. 1439 01:34:14,332 --> 01:34:16,416 ♪♪ 1440 01:34:16,416 --> 01:34:17,792 -♪ Ow! ♪ 1441 01:34:17,792 --> 01:34:21,416 ♪♪ 1442 01:34:21,416 --> 01:34:24,080 ♪ Mm, yeah ♪ 1443 01:34:24,080 --> 01:34:28,456 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1444 01:34:28,456 --> 01:34:32,624 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1445 01:34:32,792 --> 01:34:37,208 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1446 01:34:37,208 --> 01:34:39,124 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1447 01:34:39,124 --> 01:34:41,580 ♪ Hey, alright now ♪ 1448 01:34:41,580 --> 01:34:43,500 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1449 01:34:43,500 --> 01:34:45,416 ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ 1450 01:34:45,416 --> 01:34:47,080 ♪♪ 1451 01:34:47,080 --> 01:34:50,248 ♪ I used to think maybe you loved me ♪ 1452 01:34:50,248 --> 01:34:53,664 ♪ Now I know that it's true ♪ 1453 01:34:53,664 --> 01:34:55,708 ♪♪ 1454 01:34:55,708 --> 01:34:58,500 ♪ And I don't want to spend my whole life ♪ 1455 01:34:58,500 --> 01:35:01,956 ♪ Just a-waitin' for you ♪ 1456 01:35:01,956 --> 01:35:04,372 ♪♪ 1457 01:35:04,372 --> 01:35:07,708 ♪ Now I don't want you back for the weekend ♪ 1458 01:35:07,708 --> 01:35:10,664 ♪ Not back for a day ♪ 1459 01:35:10,664 --> 01:35:12,292 ♪ Ah, no, no, no ♪ 1460 01:35:12,292 --> 01:35:16,416 ♪ Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1461 01:35:16,416 --> 01:35:20,624 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1462 01:35:20,792 --> 01:35:25,124 ♪ I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh ♪ 1463 01:35:25,124 --> 01:35:26,956 ♪ And don't it feel good? ♪ 1464 01:35:26,956 --> 01:35:29,748 ♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪ 1465 01:35:29,748 --> 01:35:33,332 ♪ Oh, don't it now? ♪ 1466 01:35:33,332 --> 01:35:37,540 ♪♪ 1467 01:35:38,832 --> 01:35:48,664 ♪♪ 1468 01:35:48,664 --> 01:35:58,500 ♪♪ 1469 01:35:58,500 --> 01:36:08,292 ♪♪ 1470 01:36:08,292 --> 01:36:18,124 ♪♪ 1471 01:36:18,124 --> 01:36:27,956 ♪♪ 1472 01:36:27,956 --> 01:36:37,792 ♪♪ 1473 01:36:37,792 --> 01:36:47,580 ♪♪ 1474 01:36:47,580 --> 01:36:57,416 ♪♪ 1475 01:36:57,416 --> 01:37:07,248 ♪♪ 1476 01:37:07,248 --> 01:37:17,080 ♪♪ 1477 01:37:17,080 --> 01:37:26,872 ♪♪ 1478 01:37:26,872 --> 01:37:36,708 ♪♪ 1479 01:37:36,708 --> 01:37:44,080 ♪♪ 1480 01:37:44,080 --> 01:37:51,456 ♪♪ 1481 01:37:51,456 --> 01:37:58,792 ♪♪ 1482 01:37:58,792 --> 01:38:06,164 ♪♪ 1483 01:38:06,164 --> 01:38:13,540 ♪♪ 1484 01:38:13,540 --> 01:38:20,916 ♪♪ 1485 01:38:20,916 --> 01:38:28,292 ♪♪ 1486 01:38:28,292 --> 01:38:35,664 ♪♪ 1487 01:38:35,664 --> 01:38:45,456 ♪♪ 1488 01:38:45,456 --> 01:38:55,292 ♪♪ 1489 01:38:55,292 --> 01:39:05,124 ♪♪ 1490 01:39:05,124 --> 01:39:14,956 ♪♪ 1491 01:39:14,956 --> 01:39:24,748 ♪♪ 1492 01:39:24,748 --> 01:39:34,580 ♪♪ 91983