Original subtitles

-(grunts) -We have 10,000

signatures! That's enough to get a hearing

signatures! That's enough to get a hearing

at the next city council meeting and I will shut you down!

DORIAN:Everyone in Henson

will take a nice, long nap.

will take a nice, long nap.

Lady Spiderwick, it's an honor.

I don't have time to waste.

I need to purchase a favor.

I need to purchase a favor.

I need to find the Goblin Market.

My son ran away and I don't know what's going on.

My son ran away and I don't know what's going on.

SIMON: I came all the way to New York to see you.

You have to tell him the truth.

Parenting is not my... I'm not, I'm not built for it.

Wait, you knew about this, Mom?

Calliope, is my brother going to die?

Calliope, is my brother going to die?

Yes. I want you to look at me.

To see who I really am.

SIMON: I think you're beautiful.

SIMON: I think you're beautiful.

Help me save Jared.

(laughter echoing)

THIMBLETACK: Mulgarath wants Spiderwick's page

THIMBLETACK: Mulgarath wants Spiderwick's page

on dragons.It's hidden here in the house.

I haven't been there for my brothers, for my family.

I haven't been there for my brothers, for my family.

Can you make me better?

Point, Mallory.

You've struck me in the heart.

I will tell you everything.

THIMBLETACK:The people you love

will always leave you.

will always leave you.

■ ■

(low growling)

(roaring echoes)

(roaring echoes)

■ ■

JARED: "When night...

"blooms...

"blooms...

a cure."

Evening primrose only blooms at night

and has healing properties.

and has healing properties.

So...

so come on, Emiko.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Please.

(Jared panting)

(Jared panting)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(scoffs) That's my hoodie.

That's a nice way to say hello.

Give me one reason why I shouldn't

Give me one reason why I shouldn't

punch you in your dumb face again.

-Because I'm your brother. -No.

Y-You're with them.

Y-You're with them.

Calliope is my friend.

Emiko is your friend, too.

And she can't wake up because the ogre

And she can't wake up because the ogre

is raising dragons

to poison the whole town and eat everybody!

-(scoffs) -He's manipulating you, Simon.

-(scoffs) -He's manipulating you, Simon.

-What? -All of you!

He kissed mom and now

you're staying on a pullout sofa in his guest room

-like it's a damn sleepover! -Listen, you don't know the truth, okay?

Mom and Dad lied to me.

All right? To us.

I mean, I can't go home and smile and eat

I mean, I can't go home and smile and eat

mac and cheese like everything is kosher.

Stings, doesn't it?

Hmm? Being betrayed

by people you love.

I'm trying to save your life.

I'm trying to save your life.

Look, Mulgarath hasn't lied to me.

Look, Mulgarath hasn't lied to me.

He can't.

I know what I'm doing.

Simon...

Whatever.

NARRATOR: The hero's journeyis never easy.

I warned youthis is a dark fairy tale.

I warned youthis is a dark fairy tale.

And like all fairy tales, things grow darker

as we near the end.

as we near the end.

■ ■

VALENTINA: The vorpal sword, it's an enchanted weapon.

It's the only thing that can kill an ogre.

One stab through the heart

will cleave him from this world.

Yeah, my-my mom

used to tell bedtime stories about the sword.

A blade forged

from the entropy of a comet's tail.

BREE: And the lament of lost wars.

BREE: And the lament of lost wars.

My mom told me bedtime stories, too.

I still don't understand.

I mean, you're far more skilled than either of us.

I mean, you're far more skilled than either of us.

I fought the monster at your great-aunt's appeal,

but I lost both hands

and much, much more.

Uh, Lucinda wanted you to kill the ogre?

Have you ever heard that...

Have you ever heard that...

if you catch a fairy, they have to grant you a wish?

You're a fairy?

Half naiad, half human.

A strega of sorts, a witch.

But Lucinda,

But Lucinda,

as vibrant as she was,

she captured my heart, and so I could not refuse

she captured my heart, and so I could not refuse

her wish to slay Mulgarath.

But I failed.

So now I'm oath-bound.

I'm shackled to Henson until Mulgarath is dead.

Since Valentina can't kill Mulgarath,

Since Valentina can't kill Mulgarath,

she's training us to do it.

VALENTINA: I can't hold the sword, I'm half-magic.

VALENTINA: I can't hold the sword, I'm half-magic.

And only a pure human

with pure intent

can wield the vorpal sword.

(scoffs) I leave that little bit of milk in the carton

and put it back in the fridge. I'm hardly pure.

and put it back in the fridge. I'm hardly pure.

You wouldn't be here if you weren't deserving.

I've honed young women into warriors,

I've honed young women into warriors,

all of whom had the potential for greatness.

But, unfortunately, no one has been able to find the sword.

So what happened to those girls?

So what happened to those girls?

Mulgarath happened.

He killed them all.

(Bree sighs)

-MALLORY: Bree. -VALENTINA: Let her go.

-(door opens) -We are each the hero

-(door opens) -We are each the hero

-of our own story. -(door closes)

Bree's grappling with her journey, but...

Bree's grappling with her journey, but...

...what will they write about you, Mallory?

MALLORY:Jared?

Where are you? I know you're in here.

I can smell the boy stench

of pimento cheese and insecurity.

(Thimbletack laughing)

Eat liquid iron!

-Burn, you creature! Burn! -(screams) Stop! Stop!

You're staining my favorite shirt, you sentient fart!

Jared, maybe she's not a faery spy.

She sounds a ton like your sister.

Mm-mm, no way.

Mm-mm, no way.

Mallory never wants to talk to me.

She treats me like I'm a plague.

Look.

Look.

I need your help to find the vorpal sword.

It's the only weapon that can kill Mulgarath.

Double reverse psychology is such a Mulgarath-y tactic!

Double reverse psychology is such a Mulgarath-y tactic!

Whoa! Careful! You almost got it on me.

Jared, you know I have body dysmorphia

Jared, you know I have body dysmorphia

and major sensory issues.

And the iron isn't working on her, dumdum.

(Thimbletack laughing)

(Thimbletack laughing)

How the hell are you even doing this?

Apologize.

And I might...

And I might...

-let... -Jared!

-you go. -Stop.

(exhales) You know, gloating is gross.

(exhales) You know, gloating is gross.

-And small. -You look at me like you want me dead.

It's just resting-sibling face.

No.

No.

You've never been there for me. Never.

Not in Brooklyn, not when I need you most.

So tell me...

why should I help you, huh?

Superglue?

-(exclaiming) -Stop doing that,

-whatever you are. -No, no,

let Thimbletack go! You're gonna hurt him!

let Thimbletack go! You're gonna hurt him!

This thing that ruined my hair? No.

I should put him in the microwave.

I can feel my spleen! Okay.

I can feel my spleen! Okay.

-You asked for it! (laughs) -(Mallory gasps)

(scampering footfalls)

You know what, I thought that you could help me

find the vorpal sword. My mistake.

You're so paranoid.

You're so paranoid.

Jared, it's lonely

when they think you're crazy

when they think you're crazy

and you know you're not.

-Sucks. -Mm-hmm.

Jared, you can't tell or trust anyone.

Jared, you can't tell or trust anyone.

But I procured

a treasure from the Goblin Market.

a treasure from the Goblin Market.

They sell dreams by the pound.

And trade nightmares.

You can buy swart-headed mulberries

and bright-fire-like barberries.

The dread minotaur's horn

and the ephemeral

vorpal sword.

vorpal sword.

(stammers)

No, no, this-this didn't happen.

No, no, this-this didn't happen.

You-you took out a Hot Pocket and a seeing stone,

but you didn't mention a vorpal sword.

Careful, child.

Careful, child.

Gold and coin won't help you,

the Goblin Market extracts its payment

in body and soul.

I know where the vorpal sword is.

Lucinda told me.

Lucinda told me.

I think it's in the Goblin Market which is somehow

connected to Nielsen's.

Okay. Excellent. Amazing.

If we do this,

you have to do everything I say.

you have to do everything I say.

-(scoffs) -For the first time ever, you,

Mallory Grace, have to listen to me.

Mallory Grace, have to listen to me.

You know, just because you're pissed at Simon

doesn't mean you have to be a prick.

Yeah, well, you're no hero, either.

Let's pack up and go.

(quietly): Simon already stabbed you in the back.

Maybe keep your eye on that Hatcher.

He was acting all sketchy about the iron.

This is war, Jare-bear. You can't trust anyone.

I, uh, I put your laptop charger in the side pocket.

And some Claritin in case the pollen gets heavy.

And some Claritin in case the pollen gets heavy.

I love you so much and I'm s--

I love you so much and I'm s--

Mom, can we not do this right now?

(sighs) I know it's hard, but...

You know, it takes someone very brave.

Give him some time.

Give him some time.

Allow him to process.

We're so lucky to have you.

Well, the feeling is very mutual.

-Mmm. -Mmm.

Mmm. You're Jared's therapist and my boss,

Mmm. You're Jared's therapist and my boss,

and Lisa in HR has been super clear

and Lisa in HR has been super clear

about work relationships, and

the city council meeting about Meskwaki is today,

so, maybe we shouldn't kiss.

-Should or shouldn't? -(chuckles)

Oh, that's, uh, very pragmatic.

Oh, that's, uh, very pragmatic.

-(laughs) -Yeah.

I'll see you at city council?

Can't wait.

Can't wait.

Okay.

(door opens, closes)

Ah. Someone is a smitten kitten.

Watch yourself, Little Fetch.

We're on ice so thin, we're practically a margarita.

We're on ice so thin, we're practically a margarita.

Something's wrong with the dragons.

Something's wrong with the dragons.

They're dying.

I can feel it.

CALLIOPE: See? The twins aren't eating.

You are remarkably courageous.

You are remarkably courageous.

I'm not scared of dragons.

Or ogres.

SIMON: Lucinda said you wanted the Field Guide

SIMON: Lucinda said you wanted the Field Guide

so you can kill everyone.

What happened to the real Dr. Brauer?

I know you can't lie.

I want the Field Guide...

...to help the magical creatures

...to help the magical creatures

your great grandfather chronicled.

Lucinda hid them from me.

She blamed me for Arthur's disappearance,

which I had nothing to do with.

She only ever saw me as the ugly ogre of lore.

She only ever saw me as the ugly ogre of lore.

I used Dr. Brauer to convince your mother

to come here so you could help me put the Field Guide together.

It's always been about you, Simon.

It's always been about you, Simon.

Jared found most of these pages, though.

-But you know what to do with them. -Right.

-But you know what to do with them. -Right.

CALLIOPE: We can translate the pages

and care for the creatures.

(scoffs) Yeah.

(scoffs) Yeah.

Well, you still didn't answer my question.

Dorian was eaten by the troll.

-He was trying to help me. -Hmm.

I... I blame myself.

Their-their deaths are my fault,

Their-their deaths are my fault,

but... I'm desperate.

Like these dragons, we are on the verge of extinction.

Like these dragons, we are on the verge of extinction.

Our-our homes paved over.

Relegated to living in the shadows.

We are fighting for our very survival.

We're all creatures of the world,

and they will die without your help, Simon.

and they will die without your help, Simon.

Jared has Spiderwick's dragon page,

and if I can get it,

and if I can get it,

then we'll know what they really eat and how to keep them alive.

I'm counting on you to do the right thing.

I can't do this without you...

...son.

(knocking)

-Hey. -Hey.

You're, uh, training a lot these days.

You're, uh, training a lot these days.

-Yeah, got to keep sharp, you know? -Mm-hmm.

En garde! Pr■ts? Allez!

En garde! Pr■ts? Allez!

(laughs) And, uh, who are you dueling?

Mm. Gonna save Meskwaki

Mm. Gonna save Meskwaki

from Tanner and gentrification.

Ooh, Mama, no, not in those basic pumps and raggedy feet.

Ooh, Mama, no, not in those basic pumps and raggedy feet.

-Come on! -What?! My feet...

Here. Wear mine.

Well, these don't go with my suit.

Well, these don't go with my suit.

Trust me, they really, really do.

-Try them on. -(sighs)

I'm, uh, sorry it's all has been such a blah.

Yeah, you know, "blah" seems to be our new normal, so...

Nothing's gone the way I hoped.

All this drama is so distracting.

I haven't... I haven't even been there for you.

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

Yeah, I'm al... I'm always okay.

It's okay if you're not okay.

It's okay if you're not okay.

Am I a good person? (laughs softly)

Honey...

Honey...

...you are an incredible,

smart, talented and

smart, talented and

"I don't even know what else to say

because I am in constant awe of you" person.

because I am in constant awe of you" person.

I'm going to make you proud.

I'm going to makeyou proud.

■ ■

All right. The Goblin Market is hidden somewhere in here.

Let's get hunting... hunters.

(soft music playing)

(soft music playing)

Dweebs.

WOMAN (over P.A.):BJ, cleanup in aisle two.

BJ, I need youfor cleanup in aisle two.

BJ, I need youfor cleanup in aisle two.

Goblin Flakes have riboflavin and marshmallows,

-but no vorpal sword. -How did you know to come here?

I've been doing this a lot longer than you have.

Why did you run off like that?

Why did you run off like that?

I thought we were doing this together.

This isn't your fight.

I get it, okay?

I get it, okay?

You're upset about Chris and the sleeping disease.

No, you don't know me.

Whose fault is that?

Whose fault is that?

Only one of us can wield the sword.

-This isn't a competition, Bree. -Everything is a competition.

JARED (over P.A.): Mallory to the deli counter,please.

Mallory to the deli counter.

This is Hubert.

He knows Lucinda, and

he'll take us to the Goblin Market.

He looks like he makes video game tutorials

in his mom's basement.

It's my cousin's basement,

and my videos are fire,

and my videos are fire,

-thank you very much. -Oh.

(chops loudly)

-He's totally gonna kill us. -Yeah.

The Goblin Market trades in life and death, child.

And they have pumpkin spice lattes all year round,

but we have no time to waste.

but we have no time to waste.

Because the Goblin Market magically moves

every day like Krull?

Because I only have a 20-minute break.

Because I only have a 20-minute break.

NARRATOR:The next step in the journey

is the Threshold Guardian...

Grab a loaf of bread and follow me.

NARRATOR:...who takes our herofrom the world they've known

straight into the heart of the unknown.

Hey. He seems dangerous.

Well, too bad, Mallory. You're not in charge.

Well, too bad, Mallory. You're not in charge.

Now grab some bread and come on!

(running footfalls)

Okay, should I take focaccia or rosemary ciabatta?

Okay, should I take focaccia or rosemary ciabatta?

(door squeaks closed)

Guys?

Guys?

(sighs)

Welcome to the last refuge

for magical creatures in Michigan.

-(birds singing) -Wait.

We're still in Henson?

We're in the alley outside Nielsen's.

How has no one ever found this place?

You have Lady Spiderwick's warrior spirit.

You have Lady Spiderwick's warrior spirit.

We cast glamours to make sure

no one wanders into these hallowed grounds.

no one wanders into these hallowed grounds.

And these enchantments are not only outside, they're in.

If we don't Hansel-and-Gretel our path,

If we don't Hansel-and-Gretel our path,

we could get lost forever.

Forever and ever. (chuckles softly)

Forever and ever. (chuckles softly)

-(gavel bangs) -WOMAN:And now the representatives

from Meskwaki will speak.

The Meskwaki Hospital has been an essential part

The Meskwaki Hospital has been an essential part

of Henson for 150 years,

providing vital counseling and social rehabilitation services.

providing vital counseling and social rehabilitation services.

It's already been the victim of national budget cuts--

going from 500 beds to just 50.

going from 500 beds to just 50.

My grandson, Hatcher,

has severe body dysmorphia,

has severe body dysmorphia,

and he won't take off his robot helmet.

and he won't take off his robot helmet.

Because of Dr. Brauer, for the first time,

I've actually seen him smile.

I've actually seen him smile.

Thank you, Barbara.

Meskwaki treats all kinds of issues.

Issues we've ignored.

Issues we've ignored.

People we've stigmatized for generations.

It has to stop.

It has to stop.

Our loved ones need to be seen and heard,

instead of pretending there isn't a problem.

instead of pretending there isn't a problem.

She has a son at Meskwaki.

Obviously, her opinion is biased.

I wouldn't send my son if I didn't believe

I wouldn't send my son if I didn't believe

in Dr. Brauer's work.

Look around.

So far, 43 people have come down with this sleeping disease,

So far, 43 people have come down with this sleeping disease,

and none of our health professionals understand why.

We don't know if there's a pathogen in the water,

We don't know if there's a pathogen in the water,

or if this is some kind of mass hysteria.

But only Dr. Brauer has offered to open beds

and figure out what's going on here.

These scare tactics don't change the fact

These scare tactics don't change the fact

that these disturbed patients,

who won't take off a robot mask, are the real threat!

who won't take off a robot mask, are the real threat!

-Yes. -(crowd murmuring)

We'll take a ten-minute recess

and reconvene to hear counterarguments.

(indistinct crowd chatter)

(indistinct crowd chatter)

Hmm.

-Can I help you with something? -(sighs)

-Can I help you with something? -(sighs)

DORIAN: You did this to yourself, Tanner.

-Tanner? -What were we talking about?

-Tanner? -What were we talking about?

(indistinct chatter)

(birds singing)

Come, come, children. The Goblin Market awaits.

Come, come, children. The Goblin Market awaits.

MALLORY: Hey.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah. Fine.

Let's get that sword.

Mm-hmm. Let's go.

(phone buzzing)

(sighs)

What?

SIMON:Hey, uh, your location sharingturned off.

Are you okay?Where are you?

I'm in none of your business.

Look, Jared, I-I don't want to fight, okay?

I'm-I'm just worried about you.

You're acting angrier and more erratic than ever.

You're acting angrier and more erratic than ever.

Jared?

SIMON:Are you there?

JARED:I'm fine. I'm totally fine.

Have you translated the Field Guide pages Mulgarath stole?

I studied them, yeah. Why?

I think I found a creature.

He seems human, but he smells like broccoli farts

He seems human, but he smells like broccoli farts

and has warts all over his hands.

Sounds like he could be a hag.

HUBERT: Hey, keep up.

Follow the bread crumbs.

Follow the bread crumbs.

You don't want to get lost forever.

Hags have incredible hearing, and they love gambling.

They lure naive humans into deadly traps.

Spiderwick said the only way

to escape a hag's trap is to set it off.

to escape a hag's trap is to set it off.

Thanks.

Just, uh, call me when you getback from not-being-with-a-hag

so I can make sure you're alive, and we can really talk?

I'd like that... a lot.

I'd like that... a lot.

Jared will call us when he's on his way.

Hopefully, it'll give us enough time to find the dragon page.

You're doing the right thing.

You're doing the right thing.

(metallic creaking)

He disabled the way into the attic.

Hey, I think I got something.

Hey, I think I got something.

Hmm. No.

These are just his drawings.

CALLIOPE: Is that supposed to be you?

CALLIOPE: Is that supposed to be you?

He really hates your guts.

He drew something similar back in Brooklyn.

It got him in super deep, the cops and everything.

It got him in super deep, the cops and everything.

No wonder he hid these then.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, is Jared still going to die?

Hey, is Jared still going to die?

If we can find the dragon page

and help Mulgarath get what he wants,

and help Mulgarath get what he wants,

he'll make sure nothing bad happens to your brother

or your family.

Hey, Calliope! Oh, my God!

Hey! Hey, look at me. Are you okay?

Hey! Hey, look at me. Are you okay?

He sprayed everything with iron.

It's all over the place. I can't breathe.

It's all over the place. I can't breathe.

I actually admire his moxie.

Hey, you need to go home, okay?

Okay, it's not safe for you to be here.

Okay, it's not safe for you to be here.

All right, I'll find the page myself.

Oh, Simon.

HUBERT: Your tiny minds will melt,

HUBERT: Your tiny minds will melt,

and you'll be cleaning out the mess

with Q-tips for months after you see...

the Goblin Market!

the Goblin Market!

(electrical buzzing)

This used to be a grand bazaar

selling thistle-down to manticores

while will-o-wisps juggled dandelions fire.

while will-o-wisps juggled dandelions fire.

Now everyone shops online.

Still, we have everything from phoenix bones

Still, we have everything from phoenix bones

to our famous pumpkin spice latte.

We need the vorpal sword.

Vorpal sword. Hmm.

I think we had one in home goods.

I think we had one in home goods.

Hang on.

Listen, Hubert is going to try to trap us here.

He's some kind of hag.

He's some kind of hag.

Then maybe we should go?

No. We can't leave without the sword.

It's the only way to kill Mulgarath.

It's the only way to kill Mulgarath.

(quietly): There's got to be another option.

We have to trick him into giving us the sword and then escape.

(Hubert whistles)

(Hubert whistles)

Here we go.

One vorpal sword.

One vorpal sword.

And one pumpkin spice latte.

Um, we... we, uh, didn't order the latte.

Um, we... we, uh, didn't order the latte.

-But I already made it. -MALLORY: All right.

How much is all this gonna cost?

1,024 teeth. 1,028 with the latte.

-Teeth?! -That is the preferred tender, yes.

You're telling me that this latte costs four teeth?

Well, you can really taste the cardamom.

Okay, we don't have 1,024 teeth.

Okay, we don't have 1,024 teeth.

Then you just wasted my entire break!

Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.

What if we played some sort of game

to earn the teeth?

to earn the teeth?

You must think that I am some kind of degenerate

that I would gamble with four children for their teeth.

Because I totally would. (laughs)

Because I totally would. (laughs)

(Dorian humming Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries")

(urinal flushing)

(urinal flushing)

(humming continues)

I know one of your patients was responsible

I know one of your patients was responsible

for the disappearance of my wife.

I'm shutting you down.

(urinal flushes)

(urinal flushes)

No, I'm shuttingyou down.

(whimpers)

(Tanner coughs, gasps for air)

(Tanner coughs, gasps for air)

(guttural gasping)

I think this is terrifically ironic.

I think this is terrifically ironic.

This is the same way I killed your wife.

Eh, you know those mushrooms you yank out of your prim lawn?

Eh, you know those mushrooms you yank out of your prim lawn?

-That's your wife, Tanner. -(whimpers)

That's Julia.

That's Julia.

I'm an ogre, shape-shifter.

And you ingested a part of me

that I can transform into anything I want.

From this fleshy form to an ophiocordyceps unilateralis,

From this fleshy form to an ophiocordyceps unilateralis,

otherwise known as the zombie fungus.

I can't make you do anything too complex.

I can't make you do anything too complex.

Nothing I don't know how to do already.

So, no flying planes or Sudoku.

So, no flying planes or Sudoku.

You're more like a puppet.

-(Dorian whistles) -(Tanner groans)

(water running)

TANNER: Hmm.

(sighs)

-I need you, Tanner. -Hmm.

After our meeting, you're going to go out there

and withdraw your motion to close Meskwaki.

I really need a win here. Got a lot on my plate.

Not only am I trying to poison the water supply of Henson

with a sleeping sickness.

I'm also trying to impress a lady.

See. (sighs)

I don't have your L.L. Bean catalog chin,

I don't have your L.L. Bean catalog chin,

but I did recently read in Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop

that competence is the new handsome.

that competence is the new handsome.

-(rock music plays) -NARRATOR: In the unknown,

the hero must makea personal sacrifice...

Oh. So beautiful.

Oh. So beautiful.

NARRATOR:...losing part of themselvesin the process.

All right. That's our collateral.

All right. That's our collateral.

So, what's the game?

An ancient game of wits

An ancient game of wits

that has been played through the ages.

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

-(laughter) -Ow. Ow. Aah.

-(laughter) -Ow. Ow. Aah.

Laugh, but each turn is worth double,

and it escalates quickly.

Win enough teeth, you'll get the sword and the latte.

But if you lose, if you can't pay your debt,

you'll work here until you die.

Now then,

how much do you care to wager?

how much do you care to wager?

NARRATOR:And the more the hero losesof themselves...

NARRATOR:And the more the hero losesof themselves...

Let's throw.

NARRATOR:...the deeper they go

into that dark abyss.

(sighs) Shall we throw again?

Oh. You're a ringer.

Yes.

-Only 1,026 left. -HATCHER: Come on, Jared.

(soft grunting)

(soft grunting)

-Oh, come on! -Now that's 32 teeth you owe me.

32? How? He only played five rounds.

Each turn is worth double,

and I'm going to need another deposit to continue.

and I'm going to need another deposit to continue.

Hatcher, give him your teeth.

Dude, I don't take off my helmet.

Dude, I don't take off my helmet.

BREE: Unbelievable.

We're wasting time.

You can take my molars.

-(laughs) -Let's go.

MALLORY: Bree? Bree, stop it.

No.

MALLORY: Bree? Bree, stop.

Bree, seriously, stop!

Bree, seriously, stop!

That's now, 512 teeth,

512 delightful teeth that you owe me.

512 delightful teeth that you owe me.

(door opens, slams)

(birds singing)

(footfalls approaching)

I messed it all up.

I messed it all up.

I was jealous.

-(sighs) -Of me?

Duh.

Duh.

Bree, I'm not even near you.

(quietly): What?

(quietly): What?

I studied for two years with Valentina

before I passed her test.

And then, you just did it in two hours.

And then, you just did it in two hours.

I had to be the one to find the vorpal sword

and kill the ogre,

and kill the ogre,

and it's not because of Chris or competition,

but because...

(voice breaking): Because my mom's mask

is on Valentina's wall.

Mulgarath killed her.

And I let everyone down.

My mom, my dad.

You.

Oh, no sword, no hope, no nothing.

Oh, no sword, no hope, no nothing.

-I get it. -(sighs, sniffles)

The need to prove yourself to your family.

The need to prove yourself to your family.

The pressure to be excellent.

Fighting to be seen, just hoping it'll make them love you.

Fighting to be seen, just hoping it'll make them love you.

(sniffles)

Well, I'm just petty and vengeful and pathetic.

Well, I'm just petty and vengeful and pathetic.

Yeah. Well... same.

-Okay, not same, same. -(laughs)

-But... maybe similar? -Mmm.

(Bree sniffles)

(Bree sniffles)

Thank you for listening to me.

Thank you for listening to me.

Thank you for telling me.

Thank you for telling me.

(Bree sniffles)

(thudding)

THIMBLETACK: Oh, no, no, no.

You chose your side, Simp-Simon.

You chose your side, Simp-Simon.

Now, get out of here!

Go ride a bike with your new ogre-dad or something.

Ride it straight off a cliff!

Thimbletack, I'm only trying to help, okay?

You need to believe me. I need to get that dragon page.

Well, it's not in the attic, I swear.

Well, it's not in the attic, I swear.

There's just a bunch books and formaldehyde

and my collection of lint that looks like Elvis Presley.

And that is all! Promise!

And that is all! Promise!

Okay.

Okay.

-(groaning) -(Thimbletack laughing)

(Simon grunting)

The more Simon sneaks, the more superglue leaks!

(Simon grunting)

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

(echoing): No!

(blades sharpening)

HUBERT: ■ Oh, don't you hearthe old man say? ■

■Hurrah, me boys, we're homeward bound ■

■Hurrah, me boys, we're homeward bound ■

■Oh, don't you hear the old man say? ■

■Goodbye, fare-thee-well,goodbye, fare-thee-well ■

■Goodbye, fare-thee-well,goodbye, fare-thee-well ■

■Oh, don't you hear the old man say? ■

■Oh, don't you hear the old man say? ■

■Doo, doo-doo,doo, doo-doo... ■

512 teeth.

512 teeth.

I'm going to take all of your chompers,

and you still owe me.

One of you is staying here,

forever making pumpkin spice lattes.

-I'll do it. I'll stay. -No, no, no, no.

Dope! Let me get you a smock.

Dope! Let me get you a smock.

Mallory! No. Don't be a martyr.

There's no other option, Bree.

There's no other option, Bree.

You guys have to go back and stop Mulgarath.

(quietly): No, no, no. We can still get the sword.

Why are you whispering?

Why are you whispering?

Hubert hears everything.

(air whooshing)

(air whooshing)

(knuckles cracking)

That's why he won so many times.

He listens to our muscles move into Rock, Paper or Scissors.

He listens to our muscles move into Rock, Paper or Scissors.

We need to fool his ears... and change it the last minute.

You're just guessing.

Simon told me.

He translated it from the Field Guide. Come on.

It's the only way he could have won that many times.

It's the only way he could have won that many times.

So now you trust Simon?

When Hubert was sharpening his knife, I saw him flinching.

When Hubert was sharpening his knife, I saw him flinching.

-We have to trick him. -Okay, look.

We cannot risk everything on a "maybe."

We cannot risk everything on a "maybe."

What did I do to make you hate me so much?

You never believe me. Not now.

You never believe me. Not now.

Not when I told you creatures were real.

Not in Brooklyn when the whole world told me I was messed up.

Not in Brooklyn when the whole world told me I was messed up.

Because...

I thought you deserved it.

I wanted you to be punished.

I wanted you to hurt.

I wanted you to hurt.

Same way that you hurt me

by wrapping everybody else up in your crap.

Listen.

You're an incredible fencer.

And I know... I know you can win.

And I know... I know you can win.

But please, please believe in me as much as I believe in you.

But please, please believe in me as much as I believe in you.

■ ■

MALLORY:Double or nothing, right?Let's go.

■ ■

(pounding echoing)

(pounding echoing)

-Yes, yes! (whoops) -Yeah!

No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no.

We-we have to go again.

You only have 1,024 teeth,

You only have 1,024 teeth,

and you owe me 1,028 for the sword and the latte.

I didn't order the latte.

-(roaring) -BREE: Guys, come on! -HATCHER: Oh, no, no, no, no.

Run, run, run!

Run, run, run!

Hubert's gonna catch us!

Run faster!

(groaning)

(groaning)

You can't escape me.

(distant roaring)

I don't think that's gonna work, Jared.

I don't think that's gonna work, Jared.

Wait, wait, guys. Guys, I have an idea.

I know you, fibbers. I know where you live.

I know you, fibbers. I know where you live.

We have to change the bread crumbs.

Great. We can lose him and get out of here.

I'll find you.

Go, go, go, go!

(distant roaring)

-Yes. -Yes!

(chuckles, exhales)

(snarls)

(roaring)

(roaring)

Careful, careful. Ooh!

-(giggles) -(Jared chuckles)

-(giggles) -(Jared chuckles)

-Yes! -Yeah, we did it.

(laughs)

SIMON: Help, please.

Somebody help me, please!

(grunting)

Simon! Crap! Are you okay?

Mallory, thank God. Please get me out of here.

Oh, my God. Okay, I'm coming.

He came to steal the dragon page for Mulgarath.

I heard him. He's betraying you.

See? You can't trust anyone.

Not even your own blood.

Don't touch him. Don't anyone touch him.

Don't touch him. Don't anyone touch him.

Let him suffer some more.

He's our brother.

Grace family rules. Don't be a d-bag.

SIMON: Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you, thank you.

Well, I say back stabbers get stabbed back.

Well, I say back stabbers get stabbed back.

SIMON: Thanks, bro.

JARED: It's just a hilt.

He tricked us.

That old hag tricked us. Look, there's no sword.

That old hag tricked us. Look, there's no sword.

This is rot! Like you'd ever want my help.

There was never a sword.

This is some kind of distraction

This is some kind of distraction

so you could help Simon find the dragon page for Mulgarath.

That's not what's going on, okay?

-Really? -We were a team.

Things between us didn't suck for once.

All of you are against me.

We all want to help you!

I broke my arm. I'm missing teeth.

I broke my arm. I'm missing teeth.

You haven't done a damn thing except avoid iron at all cost.

I'm not a creature.

I'm not a creature.

Take off the helmet.

Show me you aren't hiding horns or elf ears. Hmm?

Show me you aren't hiding horns or elf ears. Hmm?

You know why I can't do that.

Because you're lying!

Everyone in this room is a phony

Everyone in this room is a phony

pretending to be something that they're not.

Pretending to care.

Pretending to care.

Dr. Brauer, Hubert, all of you.

I'm your friend, Jared.

Then prove me wrong.

Take off the helmet, Hatcher.

Take off the helmet, Hatcher.

(phone chimes)

Is it bad news?

Uh, they're not shutting down Meskwaki.

Uh, they're not shutting down Meskwaki.

Tanner backed down. We won. We won!

That's amazing. (chuckles) Thank you.

That's amazing. (chuckles) Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

-Mmm. -Mmm.

-Mmm. -Mmm.

(moans)

(gasps)

Oh. Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry.

-(Hatcher yells) -SIMON: Stop it! -MALLORY: Jared!

Come on.

(overlapping arguments)

MALLORY: Jared, please stop!

SIMON: Get off of him, Jared. Let him go!

-HATCHER: Ah! -Show me who you are.

-Get off of him, Jared! -MALLORY: Stop!

SIMON: You're gonna hurt him.

SIMON: You're gonna hurt him.

Shut up. Just shut up! Shut up!

I'm not letting any of you trick me again.

MALLORY: Jared, please!

(groans)

Jared! What did you do?

(panting)

(panting)

Don't look at me like that!

Don't look at me like that!

Like I'm the bad guy here.

He's the monster.

He's the monster.

Lucinda tried to warn you and you didn't believe her.

Lucinda tried to warn you and you didn't believe her.

It's not too late.

Lucinda's alive. I saw her.

(sobbing) We can fix this.

We can make this all right.

Mom...

Mom...

Mom, you have to believe me.

("Smile" by Timi Yuro playing)

■ ■

-■Now you should smile ■ -(dialogue inaudible)

-■Now you should smile ■ -(dialogue inaudible)

■Though your heart is aching ■

■Though your heart is aching ■

■Smile even though... ■

■Smile even though... ■

DORIAN: Okay. Here's the intake form.

■When there are clouds ■

■When there are clouds ■

■Way up in the sky ■

■Way up in the sky ■

■You're gonna get by ■

■If you smile... ■

MALLORY: Sorry, it's just the hilt.

MALLORY: Sorry, it's just the hilt.

■Fear and sorrow ■

It's not a hilt. It's a test.

It's not a hilt. It's a test.

■It may be ■

■Maybe tomorrow ■

■You'll see the sun... ■

The other dragon didn't survive.

■For you ■

(muffled): This is all for the best.

■Light ■

■Light ■

■Light up your face... ■

Hey...

Hey...

It's gonna be okay.

■Hide every trace ■

■Of sadness ■

■Although a tear ■

■Although a tear ■

■May be ever so near ■

■May be ever so near ■

■That's the time... ■

Why her?

Why her?

Why not me?

It's simple, really. It's because she...

She...

-VALENTINA (whispers): Mulgarath. -Valentina.

NARRATOR:In the darkest momentsof despair,

NARRATOR:In the darkest momentsof despair,

having destroyedthe companionship

of friend and family,

the hero faces their nemesis...

the hero faces their nemesis...

alone.

■If you just smile... ■

■If you just smile... ■

LUCINDA:It's lonely when they thinkyou're crazy

and you know you're not.

and you know you're not.

You have to keepyour head on, Jared.

Stay strong.

Believe.

■Do you see it too? ■

■I don't know what to do ■

■Call me on the telephone ■

■Call me on the telephone ■

■Because I'm feeling all alone ■

■So where you wanna go? ■

■So where you wanna go? ■

■We can hit the road ■

■We canhit the road ■

■We'll find the sun out there ■

■We'll find the sun out there ■

■No need to run out there ■

■Another fire, I'm not afraid ■

■To see new worlds come off the page ■

■I'm not a hero but I can see ■

■There's something specialin you and me ■

■There's something specialin you and me ■

■There's something magic in the sky ■

■And no one gets it like you do ■

■And no one gets it like you do ■

■There's something magic in your eyes ■

■And no one gets me like you do ■

■Ooh ■

■Ooh-ooh ■

■Ooh-ooh ■

■There's something magic in the sky ■

■There's something magic in your eyes ■

■There's something magic in your eyes ■

■There's something magic in the sky ■

■There's something magic in the sky ■

■There's something magic in the sky ■

■And no one gets it like you do ■

■There's something magic in your eyes ■

■There's something magic in your eyes ■

■And no one gets me like you do. ■

■ ■

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■ ■

■ ■

■ ■

■ ■

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