All language subtitles for The.Hangover.Part.II.2011.1080p.Bluray.x264.anoXmous_eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali Download
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam Download
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian Download
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
tt Tatar
te Telugu
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,524 You've reached Dr. Stuart Price. 2 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,992 The office will be closed until the 24th. If this is an emergency, please try... 3 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,167 Hi. This is Dr. Stu Price. 4 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,580 I'm getting married, so I'll be out of the country for two weeks. 5 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:24,343 I'm not sure if I'll have cell service. If this is a dental emergency, plea... 6 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,794 Nothing. 7 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,015 Daddy, please. You're not helping. 8 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,524 I looked into his eyes. Not the eyes of a man. 9 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,026 The eyes of a coward. 10 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,781 Excuse me. 11 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,787 - Phil. - Tracy. 12 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,702 I'm sorry. 13 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,833 Where the hell are you? 14 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,708 It happened again. 15 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,044 Don't say that. 16 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,207 Please. 17 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,468 No, this time we really fucked up. 18 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,176 Seriously, what is wrong with you three? 19 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,595 So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin. 20 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,726 Oh, God. How bad? 21 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,392 Like no wedding bad? 22 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,897 Yeah. 23 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,852 Little worse than that. 24 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,128 Mm-hm. 25 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,586 You really need to floss more. 26 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,881 Fuck that. That's why I come here. 27 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,469 Then you should come more than once every two years. 28 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,978 - So you could bleed me of all my money? - I never charge you a dime, Phil. 29 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,186 - Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Uh, you don't, actually. 30 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,350 Come on. Just one hit. 31 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,317 Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems? 32 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:35,534 Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand. 33 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:39,663 For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there. 34 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,289 My mother-in-law's watching the kids. 35 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,701 Now she's got this whole new thing to hold over my head. 36 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,869 Plus it takes five days to get there. 37 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,540 It's a 16-hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there. 38 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,834 - Whatever. it's a hassle. - It is kind of far. 39 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,712 Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet-lagged. 40 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,051 It's where her parents are from. It means a lot. 41 00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,309 Who gives a shit about her parents? Her dad hates you. 42 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,890 He doesn't hate me. 43 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,727 He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing. 44 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,938 Why can't you get married in Vegas like last time? So much easier. 45 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,229 Why can't you just be excited for me? 46 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,568 This is my wedding. 47 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,574 You're really happy, huh? 48 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,081 I really am. 49 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,253 All right. I'm happy too. 50 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,540 Thank you. 51 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,924 It's gonna be fun. 52 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,927 Phil? Put the prescription pad back. 53 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,573 Thank you. You know that's a felony, right? 54 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,278 Fuck you, man. 55 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,620 - Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep. 56 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,951 - Oh, my God. I just realized. - What? 57 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869 I forgot to renew my passport. 58 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,287 Oh, no. 59 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,707 Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer. 60 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,591 You're the best. 61 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,468 Hey, we're a team. 62 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:22,474 No, I mean, you are a good guy. Like, a really good guy. 63 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,725 Thank you. 64 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,728 So I know you're not gonna get mad. 65 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,264 Mad? What...? Mad at what? 66 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,727 Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding. 67 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,940 So? 68 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,981 So he's heartbroken, Doug. You guys are like his family. 69 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,149 No, your family is like his family. 70 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:44,079 All Alan talks about is the three of you. And that weekend. 71 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,831 Wait. Is he the one that keeps calling and hanging up? 72 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:51,670 He does that when he's upset. He doesn't understand why he's not invited. 73 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,834 Could you just run it by Stu? 74 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,466 Just run it by him. 75 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,210 For me? 76 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,009 No fucking way. 77 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,515 Absolutely not. 78 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,142 Come on, Stu. it's killing him. 79 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,678 I don't care. 80 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,938 Honestly, the two of you were barely invited. 81 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,848 - Oh. - All right. I get it. I really do. 82 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,360 Just, you know what? Alan considers you to be one of his best friends. 83 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,065 I consider Alan to be insane. 84 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,354 Stu, throw him a bone. 85 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,819 His dad pays for everything he eats and breaks. 86 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,701 We should squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party. 87 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:24,907 That's good. 88 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:30,122 I'm glad you brought that up, because this is the bachelor party. 89 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,956 - What? - What are you talking about? 90 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,041 Yeah. it's my bachelor brunch. 91 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:39,506 Go crazy. Get some chocolate-chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress. 92 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,176 That's bullshit. Ha, ha. You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu. 93 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,934 You see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top. 94 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,812 Do you know why? So nobody roofies me. 95 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,770 Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party. 96 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,026 Come on. Don't you think you're overreacting? 97 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,278 No, I don't. 98 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,400 I'm still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back together. 99 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,027 And you know what the glue is? 100 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,494 Lauren. And I'm not doing anything to screw that up. 101 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,785 - You wouldn't be with her if it wasn't for us. - Oh, this'll be good. 102 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,420 Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa. 103 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,672 Two years later, you met your true soul mate. 104 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,586 You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt. 105 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,092 It's okay. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party. 106 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,723 Drink up, everybody. 107 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,680 Wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fucking IHOP. 108 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,938 Well, it's my decision and it's final, so how about a toast? 109 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,942 - This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car. - Come on, Phil. Where you going? 110 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,569 I just don't get it. He's getting married in Thailand. 111 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,607 That's great for him, but what about us? You're just selfish. 112 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,741 Come on, sweetheart. 113 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,118 Shame on you. 114 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,246 Don't worry, Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what. 115 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,705 Thank you. 116 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,792 But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing. 117 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,376 Guys, I can't tell you how much this means. 118 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,046 Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the wedding. 119 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,259 I'm sure he has. 120 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,642 Yeah, he's been standing outside by the mailbox every day. 121 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,474 - Wow, that's rough. - Yeah. I, uh... 122 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:18,142 I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas, you know? He really needs this. 123 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,477 [KNOCKS ON Doom 124 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,815 What? 125 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,357 Sweetie, it's Pa Pa. You have visitors. 126 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,323 Go in slowly, give him a chance to acclimate. 127 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,331 Hey, Alan. 128 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,788 Hey, guys. 129 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,457 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, bud. 130 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,336 Uh... Uh, you guys wanna come in? 131 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,718 - Sure. - Yeah, absolutely. 132 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,007 - Hey. - Hey. 133 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,296 Hey. 134 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,800 - Hey, Stu. - Okay. See you on the court in half... 135 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,929 Pretty cool room, Alan. 136 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,645 Oh, thanks, Phil. My dad pays my rent. 137 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,525 Alan, what the fuck? 138 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:04,187 We were supposed to delete these. You made a promise. 139 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,233 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell? 140 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,277 I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these. 141 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,329 - Ha, ha. - Chillax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here. 142 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,081 Total violation of trust. 143 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,368 Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here. 144 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,962 Sorry, honey. I'll be right up. 145 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,044 Can't believe you stopped by. This is cool. 146 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,958 Wait a second. Al, is that Mr. Chow? 147 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,173 Yeah. We still keep in touch. 148 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,966 Stu. 149 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,382 - The guy that kidnapped us? - He didn't kidnap us. 150 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,300 He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember? 151 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,060 It was a whole big misunderstanding. He's actually quite charming. 152 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,057 - Alan, he's a criminal. - Excuse me, boys. 153 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,941 - Hi, Linda. - Hi, Dougie. 154 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,979 I guess we don't do dessert any more. I didn't get that memo. 155 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,364 Well, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back. 156 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,733 Would a cupcake kill you? 157 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,996 - I don't think this was a good idea. - Uh, Alan, we have a little surprise for you. 158 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,791 Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. 159 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,660 Well, only if you're not busy. 160 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,627 Stu. 161 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,914 Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town. 162 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,333 No. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend. 163 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,672 Mm. 164 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:12,715 Are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me? 165 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,225 Yeah, why not? Could be fun, right? 166 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,104 - Phil, are you going? - Of course. 167 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,278 Then it will be fun. 168 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,621 - Ah! - Whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man? 169 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,541 It's my immunizations. This is the last day I can do it. 170 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,957 That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse. 171 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,623 I am a nurse. I'm just not registered. 172 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,758 Oh, Stu, look at this. 173 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,760 I bought this because I thought of you. 174 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,833 - Hey, there he is. - Hey, Stu. 175 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,503 - Teddy. What's up? How are you? - Good to see you, man. 176 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,638 - All right. - Who's this guy, Stu? 177 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,720 This is Teddy, Lauren's little brother. 178 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,635 Goes to Stanford. Premed. This is Phil, Alan and Doug. 179 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,432 - Hey, nice to meet you, man. - Wow, Stanford? How old are you? 180 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,267 - I'm... - Uh, he's 17. Kind of a genius. 181 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,901 Actually, I'm 16. 182 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,439 And I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early. 183 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,278 Because you're a genius. 184 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,202 - So, what are you, a doctor? - No. Not yet. I'm premed. 185 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,989 Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? 186 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,409 - Yeah. - Well, he turned out to be a gay. 187 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,294 - Alan. - It's true. I read it in Teen People. 188 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,582 Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane. 189 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,840 You guys want anything? 190 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,047 - No, thanks. - I'm good. 191 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,882 I would actually love a Smartwater. 192 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,258 Cool. 193 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,514 Thanks. 194 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,719 - What’s the matter with you? He's 16. - Yeah, Alan. Take it easy. 195 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,728 I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what? 196 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,060 - How does this work? - How does what work? 197 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,191 Is that person coming to the wedding? 198 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,905 Yes, Alan. My bride's little brother is coming to the wedding. 199 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,315 Is that okay with you? 200 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,156 Well, it's just the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me. 201 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,659 Don't overreact. it's gonna be fine. 202 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,330 Hey. Mind if I sit? 203 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,672 - Wolf pack only. Find another chair. - There's no wolf pack, Alan. 204 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,053 - Come on. - It's no problem. I can find... 205 00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:00,886 - Don't be ridiculous. You're sitting here. - Careful. That's a Louis... 206 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,926 That is a Louis Vuitton. 207 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,478 Thanks. 208 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,070 That's a nice neck roll. 209 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,404 Thanks. You can use it if you want. 210 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,277 Okay. 211 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,684 LAUREN; Baby! Hi! on, my God! 212 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,443 Ah. 213 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,364 - How was your trip? - It was long, but good. 214 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,954 This is so absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. 215 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,208 Of course. 216 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,620 Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. 217 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,164 Pretty soon you'll have two doctors in the family. Ha, ha. 218 00:15:56,539 --> 00:16:00,669 You have to realize that in my country, we don't consider dentist to be real doctors. 219 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,087 Dad. 220 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,675 Okay. 221 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:07,593 Anyway, I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight. 222 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,055 See you. 223 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,722 - Ouch. - I'm so sorry. 224 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,270 Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother. 225 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,356 Teddy is my dad's prized possession. 226 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,486 It's always been that way. 227 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,782 He'll warm up. I promise. Okay? 228 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,819 If you just fax it over to me, I'll pick it up from concierge. 229 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,408 Okay. Ha, ha. Thanks, Pa Pa. 230 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,572 Bye-bye. 231 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663 That was, uh, my dad. I'm a stay-at-home son. 232 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,874 We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense. 233 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:39,166 Oh, that's so unnecessary. 234 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,051 I've been, uh, meaning to ask. I noticed it's a fishing village. 235 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,212 Is there a Long John Silver's on the island? 236 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,222 You know, no, I don't think so. I'm so sorry. 237 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,760 But we are actually sewing some great fresh seafood. 238 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,680 - Better than Long John's'? - Yes. 239 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,099 I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. 240 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,109 You too. Okay. 241 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,474 All right. 242 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,692 Thank you, Teddy. 243 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,117 The hands of a brilliant musician... 244 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,495 and one day, a great surgeon. 245 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,290 I admit it. 246 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,168 When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold. 247 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,090 He seemed unattractive. 248 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,173 He lacked intelligence and imagination. 249 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,427 He was missing that spark you look for in a man. 250 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,812 But then I look into Stu's eyes. 251 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,349 He reminded me of my sweet brother, Chaiyo. 252 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,022 For those who do not know... 253 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,188 Chaiyo is learning-disabled and lives in a group home. 254 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,203 But Chaiyo loves chok. 255 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,034 And that's when I realized... 256 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,368 Stu is chok. 257 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,373 What's chok? 258 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,874 Chok is soft white rice in lukewarm water. 259 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,294 It has no taste. 260 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,806 We feed it to small baby and very old people. 261 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,727 It is nourishment that everyone can digest. 262 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,221 The world needs chok. 263 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,482 Just as the world needs people like Stu. 264 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,822 To my sweet daughter and Stu. Congratulations. 265 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,359 - Hear, hear. - Cheers, guys. 266 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,739 And now I believe that Teddy has something to say. 267 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,127 Sit down. I got this. 268 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,753 Sit down, boy. 269 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,208 That was, uh, a great speech, sir. 270 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:31,763 I like the comparisons between, uh, Stu and rice. 271 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,684 I've also prepared a few words. 272 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,770 "Hey, everybody, here are some fun facts. 273 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,687 The population in Thailand is 63 million people. 274 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,022 It is twice the size of Wyoming. 275 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,444 Its chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. 276 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:55,863 Each year, approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. 277 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,871 - The climate in Thailand is..." - Alan, uh... 278 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,580 Alan, why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy? 279 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,536 Okay. Sorry. 280 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,459 "None of you know Stu like I do." 281 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,549 Not you. Not you. 282 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,427 Not you. Not you. 283 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,887 Not nobody knows Stu like I do. 284 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:21,771 No one. 285 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,103 "I can't even tell you what we've been through... 286 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,145 because we made a pact more important than blood. 287 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,063 What I can tell you is this: 288 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,278 This is not Stu's first marriage. 289 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,786 There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..." 290 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,823 All right, time's up. You can sit down, bud. You can sit down. 291 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,543 - It was good. I did good, though. - Oh, God, you killed it. 292 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,454 - Okay. Thanks, Phil. - Sit down. Yeah. 293 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,589 In your face. 294 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,100 Well, that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be. 295 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,139 Ha, ha. Sorry. 296 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,525 Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? 297 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,439 - Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Phil. - Be nice, Phil. He's extra sensitive tonight. 298 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,701 Get over it. He's your father-in-law. He's supposed to hate you. 299 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,032 Come have a drink with me and the guys. 300 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:23,496 You know, I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash. 301 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,410 I spoke with the manager. He'll let us have a beach bonfire. 302 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,329 That sounds fun. 303 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,500 Nah. I'm good. 304 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,712 He's tired. 305 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,754 Stu. One drink with your friends. They came all this way. 306 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,641 - I just wanna hang out with you. - Oh, come on, just go and do me a favor: 307 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,018 Take Teddy with you. 308 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,678 He never gets to have any fun. 309 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,892 That is a great idea. Bring the kid. 310 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,557 - All right. One drink. - Perfect. 311 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,725 - See? - You win. 312 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,394 - See you later. - Have fun. 313 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,359 - Got your key? - Uh, yep. Got it right there. 314 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,401 - I'll see you in 20 minutes. - I love you. 315 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:03,372 My Uncle Roger said that he once saw an albino polar bear. 316 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,408 Really? Polar bears are white. 317 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,417 How would he know if it's an albino? 318 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,042 This one was black. 319 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,506 Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear? 320 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,757 Whatevs. 321 00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,602 - Okay. Here we go. - All right. 322 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,808 - American beer. - Let's do it. 323 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,439 Sealed bottles. 324 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,099 Thank you. All right. 325 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,110 Um, I'm not really old enough to drink. 326 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,022 Yeah, it's illegal. Be a shame if somebody reported you. 327 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,904 Nobody's reporting anybody. 328 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,114 It's fine, Teddy. Have a little fun. 329 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,200 - Careful. - What? Oh. 330 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:46,783 What is this? Roasting marshmallows? Nice touch. 331 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:50,453 - That was Alan's idea. - Oh. Good thinking, Alan. 332 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:55,708 You know, I gotta hand it to you, Stu. This place is paradise. 333 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,172 Not bad, right? 334 00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:01,430 And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. 335 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,637 I mean, Lauren is an angel. 336 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,801 Yeah, she really is amazing. 337 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,220 Wow, you guys are sweet. 338 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:12,358 Not big breasts on her, but still, solid rack for an Asian. 339 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,984 Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. 340 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,523 That's okay. 341 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:21,068 That is just wildly inappropriate. And yet I'm really glad you're here. 342 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,735 All you guys. 343 00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:24,153 Even you, Alan. 344 00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,995 It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you. 345 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,500 Wouldn't miss it, buddy. 346 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,496 Great. Now can we have our one fucking beer, Dad? 347 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,788 Mm-hm. 348 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:36,966 All right. Toast. 349 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,172 Come on, stand up, guys. 350 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:41,670 Come over here, Alan. 351 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,971 To Lauren and Stu. 352 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,226 - You did it, buddy. - You sure did. 353 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,853 Cheers. 354 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,474 What the hell? 355 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:49,969 What? 356 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,306 No. 357 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,330 Phil? 358 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:20,546 I think it's happened again. 359 00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:23,336 Alan, what the fuck did you do? 360 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:26,343 I didn't do anything. I swear to God. 361 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,263 Your hair is gone. 362 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,391 No, no. 363 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,184 UP... 364 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,146 Where the fuck are we? 365 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,153 Phil, I'm scared. 366 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,883 Stu, come on, get up. We got a situation. 367 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:17,181 Oh, holy shit. 368 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,854 Where are we? 369 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:25,394 Oh, my God, Alan. Your head. 370 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,396 No, your head. 371 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:29,065 He's bald. 372 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:32,030 Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be okay. 373 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,320 Why? What's...? Is it my teeth? 374 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,703 - It's not your teeth. - No. 375 00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,206 - Are you sure? - Yep. 376 00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,492 - Did you check the bottoms? - I did. 377 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,917 Oh, my God. 378 00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:47,257 What the fuck? Ow! 379 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,424 That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off? 380 00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:52,930 It's not coming off! 381 00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:56,850 This is a real tattoo! 382 00:27:57,467 --> 00:27:59,390 Alan, what did you do? Did you roofie me? 383 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,898 - I didn't do anything. - Stu, he swore to God. 384 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,726 What happened? 385 00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,568 - Oh, jeez! - What is it?! What is it?! 386 00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:12,699 Help! Back there! What are you'?! 387 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,572 Did you see that jump? 388 00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,454 - Oh, what the hell?! - Oh, it's a monkey. 389 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,707 Look at the cute little vest. Hi, little monkey. 390 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,618 Alan. Alan. 391 00:28:23,452 --> 00:28:24,578 Butthole. 392 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,169 - Phone. - Hi, monkey. 393 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:30,426 Look, Alan, Alan, go find the phone. 394 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,965 I got it. 395 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,635 Doug. Doug. Where the hell are you? 396 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:38,596 I'm at breakfast. By the pool. You guys coming down or what? 397 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:41,387 Oh, Jesus. Thank God. Doug's fine. 398 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,806 Stu, Doug's fine! He's at the resort. 399 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,645 Why aren't we at the resort? 400 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,354 What's going on? Where are you? 401 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:51,063 I don't know, man. We woke up in some shithole room in some city. 402 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,483 Oh, God. What city? 403 00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:56,653 I don't know, Doug. Fucking Asia Town. 404 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:59,120 I don't know. I told you. 405 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,997 Where are we? 406 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,079 I have no fucking idea. 407 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,497 - Hey, Stu. - What? 408 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,004 Check this out. 409 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,504 You ever seen anything like this? 410 00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,854 - What is that? - Careful! 411 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:27,357 Might be a spider's nest. I've tangled with those before. 412 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:32,238 I don't get it, man. I mean, we each had one beer last night, right? 413 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:35,320 - I mean, you too. - Yeah, but I left early, remember? 414 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:37,029 I don't remember shit. 415 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,695 Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me. 416 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,993 Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys? 417 00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,328 Teddy? What? What are you talking about? 418 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,869 They've been looking for him all morning. 419 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,709 - Teddy went to Stanford, right? - Yeah. Why? 420 00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:51,547 Fuck! 421 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:54,884 I just found his finger. 422 00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:56,924 What? 423 00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,049 I just found his fucking finger, Doug. 424 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,637 Phil, what is going on? 425 00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:05,228 All right. All right, all right, all right. 426 00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,061 This is what we're gonna do. Tell the girls that we woke up early... 427 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:10,225 and went on a fishing trip. That's where we are. 428 00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:12,486 - Right. - All right, stay by the phone. 429 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:15,359 Shit! 430 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,786 All right, we got a little bit of a problem. 431 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,744 What is that? 432 00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:27,292 We don't know. 433 00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:29,995 Is it a worm? 434 00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:32,381 It's a mushroom. 435 00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:35,758 Yeah, shiitake. 436 00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:39,805 Monkey, taste it. What do you think? Is it shiitake? 437 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,215 He can't understand you. 438 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:43,926 He just did. 439 00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:45,768 Why is he pulling on it? 440 00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:47,554 He's probably hungry. 441 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,689 Wait a second. Is that...? 442 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,772 Aah! What the fuck, man?! 443 00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:55,232 Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone! 444 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,692 Chow'?! 445 00:30:57,439 --> 00:30:59,407 You fucking crazy. 446 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,119 Ah, so fucking light in here. 447 00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:03,449 Alan. 448 00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,572 Grab me my sunglasses. 449 00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:10,620 - It's great to see you, Leslie. - Mm. Nice to see you too, my little hobo. 450 00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,709 Chow, what the fuck are you doing here? 451 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,546 Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to wedding. 452 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,881 - Excuse me? - What? He's my plus one. 453 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:21,138 You didn't have a plus one. It's $200 a plate. 454 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,641 Guys, guys. Just focus, okay? Chow, what happened? 455 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,475 You guys texted me, said you fucked up and looking to party. 456 00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:38,731 I picked you up in my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. 457 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,865 And we had a sick night, bitches! 458 00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:44,324 Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Chow. 459 00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,238 Chow, we're in Bangkok? 460 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:50,126 Holler! City of squalor! 461 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:51,626 Do you know how I got this tattoo? 462 00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:55,130 Uh, yeah. From a fucking tattoo guy. 463 00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:57,791 Come on, Stewie. Use that big Jewish brain. 464 00:31:57,958 --> 00:31:59,756 Hey, what's the monkey holding? 465 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,051 That's a finger! 466 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,433 Stu, I got some bad news. 467 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:09,720 Teddy was with us last night. 468 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,392 That's his finger. 469 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,978 Teddy... Teddy's dead? 470 00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:18,191 Ha, ha. Teddy not dead. He party with us all night. 471 00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:19,525 Well, then where is he? 472 00:32:19,688 --> 00:32:21,281 Don't you remember anything? 473 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,860 - No! - No. Nothing, Chow. 474 00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:27,996 Okay, okay. I explain it all, okay? 475 00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,700 Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. 476 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,868 Come to papa. 477 00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:36,046 - Okay. - That's a big... 478 00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:45,173 You ready for craziest fucking story of... 479 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,895 Chow. 480 00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,737 Mr. Chow, are you okay? 481 00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:05,696 You gotta be kidding me. 482 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:13,499 Fuck, he's dead. 483 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,507 - Help! - Stu. 484 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,009 - Help! Help! - Stu, shut up. 485 00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,340 Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up! 486 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:27,510 - Call an ambulance! - Shut up! 487 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,677 He's dead. Look, if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine... 488 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:34,312 we'll spend the rest of our lives in a Thai prison. Shh! 489 00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,103 Alan. Alan, please stop crying. 490 00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:44,281 All right. All right! I just need a second to figure this out. 491 00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:21,647 This is the worst idea ever. What the fuck is this place? 492 00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:25,531 "Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its population is 12 million people." 493 00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:28,283 Alan, put the cards away and help. 494 00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,452 Elevator. 495 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,788 I'll get the button. I'll get the button. 496 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:42,623 What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? 497 00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:44,837 That monkey gets it. 498 00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,928 - Come on. - Oh, fuck. No, the power's out. 499 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,464 - We gotta take the stairs. - Ah, fuck! 500 00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:52,136 Come on. 501 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,521 Here it is. 502 00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,268 Feet first, feet first. I've done this before. 503 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,816 Alan. 504 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,862 All right. Careful. Careful. 505 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,839 - Stu. - What? 506 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,972 We still have to find Teddy. 507 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,058 Oh, God. 508 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:47,896 The roof! 509 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:49,814 - Teddy! - Teddy! 510 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:54,202 - Teddy! Teddy! - Teddy! Teddy! 511 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,620 ALAN; Teddy! 512 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,749 - You guys see anything? - No. 513 00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:09,339 Come on. Where are you, buddy? 514 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,010 He's not here. 515 00:36:16,049 --> 00:36:19,223 I can't believe this is happening again. 516 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,938 Okay. Look, we'll handle this. You get back there. 517 00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:29,605 You tell them that Alan and I got drunk with him, we're still partying. 518 00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,990 - You gotta go get married. - No, no. 519 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,776 I'm not going back without Teddy. 520 00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:37,787 It's Lauren's little brother, he's lost, he's injured. 521 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,867 If I fuck this up... 522 00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,661 I lose everything. 523 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:48,460 Okay. 524 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,130 All right. 525 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,883 Alan, check your pockets. 526 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,468 - What? - You know the drill. 527 00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,804 Come on, there might be clues. 528 00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:02,267 - Check your phones. Numbers, texts. - Oh, that's a good idea. 529 00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,723 - I got nothing. Fuck. - Me neither. 530 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:06,812 - I got a text from Chow. - What time? 531 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,977 Uh, 10:00 last night. 532 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,646 What's it say? 533 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,531 "On my way, niggas." 534 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,816 Oh, niggas. Okay. 535 00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:16,280 Hip-hop. 536 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:22,992 We are so fucked. 537 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,332 - Hey, Phil. - What? 538 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,337 Look who's back. Hi. 539 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:33,001 We gotta get you out of the sun. Get you a hat. 540 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,966 Yeah. Yeah. 541 00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:38,799 Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate. 542 00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:41,718 For what? Report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine? 543 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,855 Are we gonna keep walking in circles? That's real productive. 544 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,812 I'm trying to figure this out. Your attitude is not helping. 545 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:51,103 Well, I'm sorry. It's 100 degrees and we don't have a plan. 546 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,363 And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas. 547 00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,864 What? it's a bag of Fanta. 548 00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:57,617 - All right, what do you wanna do, Stu? - I don't know. 549 00:37:57,776 --> 00:38:00,370 - Then stop yelling at me like it's my fault. - It is your fault! 550 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,369 All I wanted was a bachelor brunch. 551 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:05,704 Shit. Shut up, it's Doug. Talk to me. 552 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:09,041 Just got off the phone with Bangkok P.D. They got him. He's okay. 553 00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:12,378 Oh. Thank God. Doug found him. 554 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,213 - What happened? - He got arrested. 555 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:17,219 - Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct. 556 00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,551 - Seriously? - Yeah. He's okay, though. 557 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:23,264 They'll release him to you, no questions asked. No one here has to know. 558 00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:25,474 He's at the, uh... 559 00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,811 "Ratchawang Police Station." 560 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,226 Okay. Okay, I'll call you when we get there. 561 00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:35,147 - Teddy's in jail, but fine. We gotta get a cab. - Okay. All right. 562 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,904 - Yes, I have his paperwork here. - Okay. 563 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:45,073 - He has been cleared. - Sounds good. 564 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,038 - Of course. - Thank you. 565 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,703 We're good, we're good. They're processing for release. 566 00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,752 Yeah, they threw him in the drunk tank. He's fine. 567 00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:57,052 Sixteen years old, spent a night in jail. Can you imagine? 568 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,092 We love to party. 569 00:39:04,217 --> 00:39:06,015 Here we go. 570 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,105 - Wait, who's this fucking guy? - Teddy Srisai. 571 00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:10,766 What...? No, no, no. I'm so... 572 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,559 It's the wrong guy. Sir. 573 00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,773 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Uh, there's been a mistake. 574 00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:17,610 He brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy. 575 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,616 Of course it is. We have his IDs and everything. 576 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,283 These were in his pockets when we made the arrest. 577 00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:25,571 They were in his pocket? 578 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:28,787 Excuse me, sir. 579 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,123 How did you get this stuff? 580 00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:34,080 Hello? 581 00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:35,882 Teddy doesn't speak. 582 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,385 We tried English, Thai, Chinese. Nothing. 583 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:40,966 Let me ask you something. 584 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:45,600 Does he look like he works out at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California? 585 00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,311 Look, we arrest a lot of people. 586 00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:52,644 We cannot analyze everything. All right? 587 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,980 Well, what do you expect us to do with this guy? 588 00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:56,269 Not my problem. 589 00:39:57,687 --> 00:39:59,064 Hey, guys? 590 00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:01,483 I think he knows us. 591 00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:03,322 Hi. Hello. 592 00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:11,251 Do you know where our friend is?! Teddy! He's missing! 593 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,503 Stu, forget it. The guy's worthless. 594 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,006 He knows something. He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt. 595 00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:19,796 What if he just doesn't understand? 596 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:23,839 Uh, I'll act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch. 597 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,257 - Two words. - Is it a movie? 598 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,185 This is not for you, Alan. 599 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:34,349 American teenager in Asia. 600 00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,643 Karate Kid with Jaden Smith. 601 00:40:37,352 --> 00:40:39,696 It's easy because you were talking through it. 602 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:41,610 Stu, it's a waste of time. 603 00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,696 Just leave this fucking guy here. 604 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,613 Oh, here's something. "There are 500,000 monks living in Thailand. 605 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:51,875 It is not uncommon for some monks to take a vow of silence... 606 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:55,378 at the age of 8." - There you go. 607 00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:58,255 - Is there anything else in that envelope? - No, it's empty. 608 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:00,841 Whoa, hang on. 609 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,471 A drink card from White Lion Bar, Bangkok? 610 00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:08,141 Worth a shot. 611 00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:12,854 Jesus Christ. Is this the right street? 612 00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:14,229 That's what it says. 613 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:23,569 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the White Lion. 614 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,905 What the fuck happened here? 615 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,411 Holy shit. 616 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:36,336 - Oh, okay. Just keep walking. Yeah. - Okay. Yeah, we should probably... 617 00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:41,758 - Ah! - All right. it's okay. 618 00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:44,256 What the fuck is going on here? 619 00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,924 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, check it out. 620 00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:52,678 Holy shit. Stu, look. 621 00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,266 That's my face. 622 00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,181 Go, go, go. 623 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:58,103 Nice work, Alan. 624 00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:03,021 - Hello? - Be with you in a minute. 625 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:08,576 Excuse me. 626 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,453 Oh, look who it is. 627 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:13,038 So, what do you think? 628 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,369 What? I'm sorry? 629 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,534 The tattoo? You love it? 630 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,541 Uh, no. Actually, I hate it. 631 00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:21,798 No refunds. Get the fuck out. 632 00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:23,879 - Wait a second. - Read the sign. 633 00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:28,637 We don't want a refund. We just have a couple of questions. 634 00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:30,924 Trying to figure out what went down last night. 635 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,387 "What went down"? 636 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:35,269 Look what you did outside. Half the neighborhood went down. 637 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,475 We did that? 638 00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,641 You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion? 639 00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:41,559 Starting a full-on fucking riot? 640 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:45,230 No, sir. We don't remember anything. 641 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:52,703 Hold this. Oh, boy. 642 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,327 Check this out. 643 00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,666 Holy shit. 644 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:06,585 Fuck the police! 645 00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,503 Fuck the police! 646 00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:13,303 There's Teddy. He was with us. 647 00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:29,399 Jesus Christ. 648 00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:32,489 That's when the cops arrived, started cracking skulls. 649 00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:34,950 I took you guys and hid you in the shop here. 650 00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:38,996 Then you decided to get a tattoo. Cried like a little bitch. 651 00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:42,705 This kid's fucking 9 years old. He's got balls twice your size. 652 00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:46,208 - Show him your balls, man. - No, no, no. That's okay. 653 00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,379 Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him? 654 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:52,513 Not since last night. What happened? 655 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:56,017 Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kind of lost him. 656 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:59,728 Oh, well. Then fuck it. 657 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:01,355 What do you mean, "fuck it"? 658 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:06,227 Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go. 659 00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,067 You hear that? Huh? 660 00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:10,197 - Is this what you wanted? Happy now? - Phil. 661 00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:14,156 You're wasting your time. These monks take their vow shit seriously. 662 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,490 Look at this. 663 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,702 That's the sign of the Chiang Mei monastery just outside of town. 664 00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,705 Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk. 665 00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:30,210 Can we just go over this one more time? You got the beer from...? 666 00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,595 The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. 667 00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:35,723 - Right. But who gave it to you? - The bartender. 668 00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:37,429 Right. Okay. 669 00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:39,765 And then you brought them out and I opened them. 670 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:43,431 Yeah, and Doug had one and he was fine, so it's not the beer. 671 00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:45,858 - So, what the hell happened? - I have no idea. 672 00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:49,021 Hey, guys. Check it out, he's got a Chinese boner. 673 00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:51,440 Alan, come on. Cut it out. 674 00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,869 The monkey is a pervert. 675 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,905 Come on, that is so wrong. 676 00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,790 Hey, don't stop, monkey, keep doing it. 677 00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:13,132 When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language. 678 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:17,469 Oh, keep doing it! 679 00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:21,143 All right. Thank you. 680 00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,804 We good? 681 00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:26,858 Bye, Shannon. Bye, Lil Wayne. 682 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,902 Wow. 683 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,655 So beautiful. 684 00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,871 What is this, a P.F. Chang's? 685 00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:48,705 Ah, they're meditating. 686 00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:52,629 - Such a peaceful people. - Yeah. 687 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:54,464 Knock, knock! Hello?! 688 00:45:54,627 --> 00:45:57,506 Alan, Alan, show some respect. Don't get up, guys. 689 00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,425 We brought one of your guys back. 690 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,344 He's really funny. He's really nice and cool. 691 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,231 Hi, how you doing? Uh, are you the one in charge? 692 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,022 - Hey! Aah! - Excuse me. Ow! 693 00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,437 - Wait! Ah! - stop in 694 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,355 Just calm down! Aah! 695 00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:15,614 Hold on! Ah! 696 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:18,151 It's because" Ow! We're talking! Ah! 697 00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:20,490 Stop talking. Goddamn it! 698 00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:21,996 Don't! Stop! 699 00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:23,371 Wait! it's me! 700 00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:24,657 Stop hitting me! 701 00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:25,871 Oh, I get it. 702 00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:32,047 No talk. No talk. 703 00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:35,551 Shh. Okay. We no talk. 704 00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:40,594 Okay. 705 00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,054 - Asshole. - I get it, I get it. 706 00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:06,325 Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery... 707 00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:12,247 shouting out question about love, marriage and the meaning of life. 708 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:19,175 Poor Brother Han was meditating alone in the garden and you took him. 709 00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,840 Oh, my God. 710 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:24,183 We kidnapped a monk. 711 00:47:24,633 --> 00:47:26,852 Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle. 712 00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:31,938 And we are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night. 713 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,773 Yup, things kind of spun out of control a little bit. 714 00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:38,940 But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. 715 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,484 Can you find out if he knows where our friend is? 716 00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:44,905 Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago. 717 00:47:45,071 --> 00:47:47,073 It would be useless to try. 718 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,619 Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper. 719 00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:54,460 Actually, that would be cheating. Right, Grand Wizard? 720 00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:57,466 - Alan. - I'm afraid Fatty is right. 721 00:47:57,625 --> 00:47:59,627 See? What? 722 00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:03,219 None us will ever know what Brother Han knows. 723 00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:04,633 Oh, all right. 724 00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:07,928 So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. Come on, let's go. 725 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:11,815 Hey, you know what? FYI, you may wanna put some signs up that say "no talking"... 726 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,816 ...before you unleash your dragon. - Yeah, that was a little rough. 727 00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:19,230 You're welcome for bringing him back safe. You know, we found him in a drunk tank. 728 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,115 We did take him in the first place. 729 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,071 Come on, guys, let's go. 730 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,323 Wait. 731 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:27,663 The Buddha teach: 732 00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:31,625 Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 733 00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:36,505 Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation. 734 00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:39,550 - Did you understand a word he said? - About two-thirds. 735 00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,676 Something about the garden of meditation? 736 00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:44,760 No, he said he's farting because of his medication. 737 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:46,340 I get that. 738 00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:55,149 This is a waste of time. I don't remember anything. 739 00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:57,318 Do you? 740 00:48:57,476 --> 00:49:00,104 No. I got nothing. 741 00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,573 Alan? 742 00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:06,284 Alan? 743 00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:12,708 Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 744 00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:14,710 - Sweetie? - What? 745 00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,542 You have visitors. 746 00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,547 - Hey, Alan. - Hey, guys. 747 00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,379 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, buddy. 748 00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:24,045 - Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. - Is this true, Stuart? 749 00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:26,468 Yeah, why not? it'll be fun. 750 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,218 - What the fuck? - To Lauren and Stu. 751 00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:32,728 Cheers. 752 00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:37,854 - Chow? - We had a sick night, bitches! 753 00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:40,895 - Yeah! - Alan, what the fuck? 754 00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:44,069 Is that person coming to the wedding? 755 00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:45,608 There is no wolf pack. 756 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,448 - Alan, don't do that! - "The population in Thailand is..." 757 00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:52,081 And we're the three best friends That anybody could have 758 00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,420 Hey! 759 00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:04,085 Yeah! Fuck the police! Fuck the police! 760 00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,140 I know where to go. 761 00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:22,937 What do you think, Alan? 762 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:25,105 Uh, this is the place. 763 00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:26,569 Come on, let's go. 764 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,199 I don't remember any of this. 765 00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,788 Yeah, Alan, are you sure this is the place? 766 00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,953 Yeah, pretty sure. 767 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:48,387 Bros, finally! 768 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,220 Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him. 769 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,642 Uh, I'm sorry. Waiting for who? 770 00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,394 Chow, that dick-ass fuck. 771 00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,310 - Why, what's wrong? - Nothing. Nothing's wrong. 772 00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:01,271 Okay, good. Look at this. 773 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:04,312 Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh? Huh? 774 00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:07,486 - No, no, no. - $6000, American. 775 00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,742 Wow, it looks so real. 776 00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,079 Sorry. Ahem. Sorry. 777 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:19,744 Alan! What the fuck?! 778 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:23,665 It's okay! it's okay. The gun, very sensitive. Very sensitive. 779 00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:25,674 - Everybody okay? - Yeah, okay. 780 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:29,087 Okay? Then get the fuck back to work! 781 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,470 Come on! Music, please! 782 00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,307 Who has my $6000? 783 00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:37,265 No, no, no. That's Chow's deal. We got nothing to do with that. 784 00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,180 Un-fucking-believable, man. 785 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:43,396 This guy, if he backs out again, this shit is gonna catch up to him, okay? 786 00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,859 He's made a lot of enemies in this town and now they're your enemies. 787 00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:48,147 That's not fair! 788 00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,988 Okay, listen. We're just looking for a little kid. 789 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,868 - Two thousand dollars. - What?! 790 00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:55,871 I don't know. Maybe more. How young you want this kid to be? 791 00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,034 No! No, no, no. Sorry. You misunderstood. 792 00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:03,545 We're looking for our friend, 16 years old, Teddy? 793 00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:06,378 Teddy? Yeah, he was here with you guys last night. 794 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,463 He was? You remember if he left with us? 795 00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:12,176 You were in the corner all night with Kimmy. I didn't see you leave. 796 00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,181 Kimmy? Kimmy? Is she here? 797 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:17,560 Yeah, she's in the back. She just came for her shift. Go talk to her. 798 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,767 Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened. 799 00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,102 Pay attention what I'm gonna talk to you now. 800 00:52:23,265 --> 00:52:27,520 When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says hello. 801 00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,654 - Okay. - But do it like that, okay? 802 00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:31,736 Hello. Like threatening. 803 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,196 Like ironic. 804 00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,535 - Hello. - Okay. 805 00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,661 - Hello. - Hello. 806 00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,201 - Hello. - More O. Hello. 807 00:52:42,368 --> 00:52:43,415 Hello. 808 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:46,171 Go away, go away. Fucking make me crazy. 809 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:50,380 Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone. 810 00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:53,921 Nice kid. His parents must be so proud. 811 00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,510 Yeah. You have no idea. 812 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,175 Okay, so do you remember if he left with us? 813 00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:02,722 Yeah, you all were leaving together, but you almost forgot this one right here. 814 00:53:02,888 --> 00:53:05,311 - Right, superstar? - Hmm. 815 00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:09,854 This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night. 816 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:13,240 Saying how he fall in love with me and ask me to marry him. 817 00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,701 Classic Stu. 818 00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:20,698 - We didn't get married, did we? - Of course not. 819 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,866 We just had some fun in the Chardonnay Room. 820 00:53:23,325 --> 00:53:25,544 What, uh... What happens in the Chardonnay Room? 821 00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,626 Let's just stay on task here. 822 00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:30,632 Oh, you know. Dance for him. He tickle me. We had sex. 823 00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,919 - I massage his shoulders. - Fuck! 824 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,463 It's okay. You're not married yet. It's no big deal. 825 00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:37,757 It's cheating, okay? 826 00:53:37,923 --> 00:53:42,224 No offense to you. You're a lovely woman. It's a violation of my moral code. 827 00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:45,060 Don't be sad. Stu, you love it. 828 00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:47,896 You were crying, saying how special it was. 829 00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,981 Wait. Ha, ha. I'm sorry, he was crying? 830 00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:51,487 What a baby. He was crying. 831 00:53:51,645 --> 00:53:55,741 You should have seen him. He was so sexy, the way he move around. 832 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:59,241 I had to ask him slow down so I don't drop my load too quick. 833 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,832 Load? What load? 834 00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:06,665 Oh, you know. My sperms. 835 00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:11,590 Eh, I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperms. 836 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,297 Where would your sperm come from? 837 00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:15,837 From my balls. 838 00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:17,300 Hold on. Back up. 839 00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:20,012 Wait, wait. Are you...? 840 00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,643 Hey. You in Bangkok, sweetie. 841 00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:24,849 There's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt. 842 00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:26,605 Oh! 843 00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:32,353 Oh, my God. 844 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:34,738 Wow. 845 00:54:36,356 --> 00:54:38,950 I don't get it. Is this a magic show? 846 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:44,203 Come on, Stu. It was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time. 847 00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,454 How's that work? 848 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,712 Shoot my load into you, you shoot your load on the floor. 849 00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,214 - Okay. - You shot your load in me? 850 00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,878 In my bottom? 851 00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:57,086 Oh, God. 852 00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:07,062 Stu, it's not the end of the world. 853 00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:09,394 I'm sorry, but I am so confused. 854 00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:13,728 I made love to a man with boobies. 855 00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:17,569 Listen, I promise you no one's ever gonna find out about this. 856 00:55:17,731 --> 00:55:19,233 But we just found out about it. 857 00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:21,697 And then we forget. That's what we do. 858 00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,739 I've done so much fucked up shit, and I just forget about it. 859 00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:28,535 - You have? - Yeah. You just forget. It goes away. 860 00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:32,747 That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen. 861 00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:34,756 That's what I'm gonna do. 862 00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:37,088 I'm just gonna forget about it. 863 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:38,753 - Never happened. - Right. 864 00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,757 Phone. Phone. Who is it? Answer. 865 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,425 Lauren's dad. 866 00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:45,888 It just reminded me. 867 00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:47,598 - Answer it. - I can't. 868 00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:50,514 He might know something about Teddy. We still have a shot. 869 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:54,561 - I can't. - Get your head back into the fucking game. 870 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,617 - Hello? - Who takes an all-day fishing trip... 871 00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:03,573 the day before a wedding? 872 00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:07,080 Yeah, ha, ha. I guess it was kind of stupid. 873 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:08,786 Put Teddy on the phone. 874 00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:13,871 - Uh, Teddy's seasick, actually. - Seasick? 875 00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:16,711 Teddy's been a maritime deck cadet since he was 9. 876 00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:19,297 Well, that's weird, because he's puking everywhere. 877 00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:22,554 I'm gonna tell you something that you did not know. 878 00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,090 I don't like you. 879 00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:26,930 - Yeah, I knew that already. - My daughter chooses you... 880 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:29,094 that's her problem. - Hey, it's Phil Winnick. 881 00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:32,515 Listen, I apologize. We've been reeling in some crazy marlin, and I just want... 882 00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:36,147 - Phil! - Phil! 883 00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:37,311 Jesus. 884 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:39,571 - Phil? You're okay. - Fuck me. 885 00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:40,982 Give us back our monkey. 886 00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:42,775 What monkey? Get your own monkey! 887 00:56:43,191 --> 00:56:45,319 Come on, you asshole. The fucking monkey. 888 00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,329 Come on. 889 00:56:47,487 --> 00:56:49,615 Any time, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us. 890 00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,124 This is our monkey. 891 00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:54,913 Alan, no one's getting shot over a fucking monkey. Hand him over now. 892 00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,252 Oh, God, I never get to keep no monkeys. 893 00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:05,214 Hey, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet. 894 00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:07,678 - These guys are the real deal. - What's happening? 895 00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:10,845 Hold on. How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is? 896 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:13,855 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, 16 years old, Asian kid? 897 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,023 No, I don't understand what he said. 898 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:20,612 What did he say? What did he say?! 899 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:23,445 He said, "Fuck you and your question." 900 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:26,694 Oh, my arm! 901 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,033 Poor Phil! Phil, are you okay? 902 00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:33,409 Oh, I got shot. Fuck! Fuck, guys. 903 00:57:33,575 --> 00:57:37,876 It's all right, Phil. We'll figure this all out and get the monkey back. I promise. 904 00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,006 No one gives a fuck about the monkey, Alan! 905 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:42,384 Oh, shit, look at my arm. 906 00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:45,386 What the fuck is going on?! 907 00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:48,139 Stu, am I gonna be okay? You're a doctor. 908 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,017 I don't know. Let me look, let me look. 909 00:57:52,552 --> 00:57:54,225 What? What? 910 00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:55,890 Stu, come here. No, look at it. 911 00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:59,230 Stuart Price, get your ass back over here! 912 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:00,815 - You got shot! - I know! 913 00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,459 - Hey. - Yo. You all right? 914 00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:21,373 Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay. 915 00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:26,137 Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches. 916 00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:28,756 Only cost $6. How's that even possible? 917 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,721 How's any of this even possible? 918 00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:37,936 I mean, if I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead. 919 00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:42,440 What are we gonna do? 920 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:50,118 I'm sorry, guys. This wasn't part of the plan. 921 00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:53,785 What plan, Alan? 922 00:58:55,073 --> 00:58:56,700 I've said too much already. 923 00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:07,795 Alan, what plan? 924 00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:11,139 This is all Teddy's fault. 925 00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:12,800 What are you talking about, Alan? 926 00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:15,139 Why is he here? He's not part of the wolf pack. 927 00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:18,146 Alan, what did you do? 928 00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:21,434 It's not my fault. Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag. 929 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:24,235 What bag? 930 00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:27,489 The marshmallows. I had a separate bag just for Teddy. 931 00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:31,151 But it was dark, it was hard to keep track, and then you almost sat on them. 932 00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:33,662 I couldn't tell which was which. It was mayhem. 933 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,868 What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan? 934 00:59:36,281 --> 00:59:38,784 Alan? What did you do? 935 00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:42,705 Well, isn't it obvious? I spiked them with muscle relaxers. 936 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,169 And, plus, my ADHD medication. 937 00:59:45,332 --> 00:59:47,300 - What?! - You drugged us again?! 938 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:51,134 Not you. I just wanted to knock out Teddy so we could enjoy the weekend. 939 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,972 "Enjoy the weekend"'? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything. 940 00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,807 Alan, you swore to God. 941 00:59:57,969 --> 01:00:00,222 I just wanted things to stay the same. 942 01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,561 Look at my face! 943 01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,351 You ruined my life! 944 01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:05,940 You're not my friend. 945 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,856 Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America? 946 01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:12,868 - Yes! - Oh, God. Don't say that, Phil. 947 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,369 Don't start crying, Alan. 948 01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:16,030 You're the bearded devil! 949 01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:19,325 You liked it. You smiled at me when I held up the marshmallows. 950 01:00:19,741 --> 01:00:23,371 Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho! 951 01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:27,341 Hey! Whoa, whoa, hold on! Stop! 952 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,046 - Guys, guys. Enough. - Why?! 953 01:00:29,209 --> 01:00:31,382 Why, Alan?! Why?! 954 01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:34,386 Because we're the three best friends, remember? 955 01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:36,216 Remember? 956 01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:39,557 Stu, that's enough. That's enough. 957 01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:41,187 Fuck. 958 01:00:42,764 --> 01:00:45,563 Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together. 959 01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:55,532 - Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh? 960 01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:59,574 "Lebua Hotel. Saturday, 6 p.m." Did you write that? 961 01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,161 No. 962 01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,832 Shit, that's in 20 minutes. 963 01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:07,164 What about England? Are we friends there? 964 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:09,583 I told you, it was in the heat of the moment. 965 01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:12,753 We're still friends, all over the world. 966 01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:15,638 - Even Great Britain? - Yeah. Mm-hm. 967 01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:19,514 Well, what about you, Stu? 968 01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:22,061 We'll see. 969 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,682 Gentlemen, follow me. 970 01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:29,815 All right. 971 01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:40,952 Here you go. 972 01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,077 Well. 973 01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,588 It's about time. Sit down. 974 01:01:48,747 --> 01:01:50,715 - Come on, sit, sit, sit. - Okay. 975 01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:53,210 Wow, you guys look like shit. 976 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,550 - Uh, do we know you? - Hey. 977 01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:01,935 Take off your fucking hat. You're in a restaurant, for chrissake. 978 01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:09,650 Okay, listen. Uh, we have no clue what's going on here. 979 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:13,939 You know, they sell a plum whiskey here. It's fucking unreal. 980 01:02:14,105 --> 01:02:16,949 Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up. 981 01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:21,322 Oh, I'm sorry, you guys already got fucked up, didn't you? 982 01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:25,788 Uh, listen. I'm a little confused. How did you...? 983 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:28,500 Yeah, you know what? I'm a little fucking confused. 984 01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:29,663 Where's Chow?! 985 01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:35,632 Where is Chow with the fucking account code and the fucking password?! 986 01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:46,309 We don't know anything about any codes. We're just trying to find our friend. 987 01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:52,106 - Teddy. - Yes. Teddy. 988 01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:53,361 Have you seen him? 989 01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,356 Come here. 990 01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:59,777 Hmm. Let's see. Oh. 991 01:03:00,568 --> 01:03:01,694 There's Teddy. 992 01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:06,659 - Holy shit. it's from last night. - Hmm. 993 01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:09,620 Who are you? 994 01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,083 I'm a businessman... 995 01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:14,625 and I have invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow. 996 01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:19,300 And in return, he was supposed to transfer our profits electronically... 997 01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:22,807 about five fucking minutes ago. 998 01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:27,350 So last night, we took Teddy as insurance. 999 01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:30,686 Oh, my God. Is he okay? 1000 01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:33,397 Oh, my God. I wasn't done talking. 1001 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,487 You tell Chow... 1002 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:41,322 that we are having breakfast on the roof of this hotel tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. 1003 01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,737 Now, if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy. 1004 01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:47,999 If not, well, then, hey, you know? It's Bangkok. 1005 01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:52,203 That's your cue to get the fuck out of here. 1006 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,671 Hey, you know what? Leave the hat. 1007 01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:04,011 Alan, leave the hat. 1008 01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,765 Attaboy. 1009 01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:20,778 We're fucked. Chow's dead. What do we do now? 1010 01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:25,320 The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow. This whole thing's about a bank account. 1011 01:04:27,072 --> 01:04:29,450 Let's just go back to the hotel, Search Chow's body. 1012 01:04:29,616 --> 01:04:32,369 And hopefully the password's in his wallet or something. 1013 01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:35,289 What if it isn't? I mean, they're gonna kill Teddy. 1014 01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:40,052 Just relax. We have until 8 a.m. tomorrow to figure it out. 1015 01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,348 First the monkey, now my hat. 1016 01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,226 How much worse can this day get? 1017 01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:53,811 Jesus Christ. 1018 01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:05,619 Well, we're living here in Alantown 1019 01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:11,326 And he's driven our lives into the ground 1020 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:16,208 When we woke up We were wasted and drunk 1021 01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:18,544 Phil got shot 1022 01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:22,586 We got beaten by a monk 1023 01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:28,725 I was happy, and my life was good 1024 01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:34,189 Getting married like a dentist should 1025 01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:38,318 Roasting marshmallows on a stick 1026 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,355 I got fucked in the ass 1027 01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,240 By a girl with a dick 1028 01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,903 I remember that. 1029 01:05:50,155 --> 01:05:54,456 And we 're living here in Alantown 1030 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:58,788 There's water everywhere. 1031 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:01,963 Yeah, that's because it melted, Stu. The fucking power's out. 1032 01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:05,129 "With an inadequate electrical grid serving millions of people... 1033 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,219 Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1034 01:06:08,381 --> 01:06:10,224 Seriously, Alan, that's enough. 1035 01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,435 Out of the way. 1036 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:20,193 We got it. 1037 01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,235 Ghost! There's a ghost! 1038 01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:27,571 Motherfucker! 1039 01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:31,534 Chow, calm down! Chow, calm down! 1040 01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:34,491 - Fucking kill on me! - No, no, no. Ah. 1041 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,079 It's okay. 1042 01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:40,918 Relax. 1043 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:46,006 - Shh. - Shh. 1044 01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:53,435 That's it. it's just us. Breathe. 1045 01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,846 - Chow so cold. - I'm gonna warm you up. 1046 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:58,606 Chow so cold. Chow so cold. 1047 01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:01,109 You did good, buddy. You did good. 1048 01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:02,519 Chow did good. 1049 01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,697 Feeling better? 1050 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:12,070 You all right? You warm enough? 1051 01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:15,161 I don't know. Come feel my balls and tell me. 1052 01:07:15,323 --> 01:07:18,953 I've been locked in a fucking ice box all day. 1053 01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:22,797 Hey, Alan, you want my awesome sunglasses, you just ask Chow. 1054 01:07:22,956 --> 01:07:24,629 You don't have to kill me. 1055 01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:28,762 Chow, nobody killed you. You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse. 1056 01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,672 Oh, you never do blow before? 1057 01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:34,217 Sometime your heart stop, start up again. Read a book. 1058 01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:36,644 Look, I'm sorry. We're just having a bad day. 1059 01:07:36,803 --> 01:07:40,148 Oh, you having a bad day? Did you die? 1060 01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:42,141 I got shot. 1061 01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,810 But did you die? 1062 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:48,027 Chow, some guy told us that you've got a bank code or something... 1063 01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:52,740 and if we don't bring it to him first thing in the morning, he's gonna kill Teddy. 1064 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,826 Who, Kingsley? Pfft. He harmless. 1065 01:07:55,989 --> 01:07:59,414 Don't worry. I got the bank codes. 1066 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:03,083 Great. All right, we gotta meet him at 8 a.m. 1067 01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:04,964 Who is that fucking guy, anyway? 1068 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:06,670 Invest in my business. 1069 01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:08,547 Yeah? What business is that? 1070 01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,884 It's called Not Your Business, okay? 1071 01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:14,181 So where's the monkey? 1072 01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:15,849 - The monkey? - Yeah. 1073 01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:20,355 I stashed the account number and password in his vest. Where is he? 1074 01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:25,818 - Why would you do that? - Safekeeping, pretty boy. 1075 01:08:25,977 --> 01:08:28,025 I got a lot of heat on my ass. 1076 01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:33,284 I got FBI, Bangkok P.D., Interpol, MSNBC. 1077 01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:36,029 That monkey snorting coke with me all night... 1078 01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:38,744 jerking me off while I watch Stu fuck with ladyboy. 1079 01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,326 - Ugh. - He not going anywhere. 1080 01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:43,039 We don't have the monkey, Chow. 1081 01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:46,001 No, some Russian thugs took him from us. 1082 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,041 Oh, you fucking guys. 1083 01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,965 Okay, no problem. 1084 01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:53,175 We just have to get him back. 1085 01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:56,224 - From where? - Same place we took him from. 1086 01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,990 This monkey isn't just normal monkey. 1087 01:09:33,086 --> 01:09:36,431 Think of him like monkey drug mule. 1088 01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:40,389 He take coke to buyer... 1089 01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:44,392 and deliver cash to dealer. 1090 01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:47,187 He middleman. 1091 01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:50,194 Dealer never handle drug directly. 1092 01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,525 He clean. 1093 01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:54,907 That's terrible. 1094 01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:58,286 Not terrible. What you talking about? It's fucking genius. 1095 01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:01,163 You ever see monkey go to jail? 1096 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,576 We just signal monkey for deal, he come close... 1097 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:07,245 we take his vest and that's that. 1098 01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:09,790 Maybe get some blow too. You know, just bump. 1099 01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,378 No. No more bumps, Chow. 1100 01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,795 Okay, this is ridiculous. 1101 01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,470 Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Signal monkey. 1102 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:35,656 - All right, here we go. - Come on. 1103 01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:42,613 How'd we wind up with the monkey last night? 1104 01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:46,830 Well, I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute, so we stole him. 1105 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,590 So stupid. 1106 01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:02,100 Stu, ready to grab vest? 1107 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,474 I... Okay. I just grab it? 1108 01:11:05,636 --> 01:11:08,264 - Yeah, just do it, Stu. Just do it. - Hey, monkey! 1109 01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,149 - Alan, shh. - Hi. 1110 01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:15,692 - Fuck! - We gotta go right now. 1111 01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,824 Pull that fucking monkey in! 1112 01:11:18,983 --> 01:11:20,155 I'm trying! 1113 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:25,865 Aah! Fuck! 1114 01:11:29,702 --> 01:11:31,204 Get that monkey in here, Stu! 1115 01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:33,623 He won't let go! 1116 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:35,671 Stu, get back in the car right now! 1117 01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,630 I'm trying! Slow down! 1118 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:46,852 He's so strong! 1119 01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:52,016 Let go, you fucking monkey! 1120 01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:55,061 - Look out! - Aah! 1121 01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:56,901 Oh, shit. Tight squeeze. 1122 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:02,361 I got him! I got him! 1123 01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,206 - Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest. 1124 01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:13,003 - You got it, Alan? - Yeah, I got it, Phil. 1125 01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:16,382 - Slow down, slow down, Chow! - Hold on, gay boys! 1126 01:12:20,253 --> 01:12:22,176 - Holy shit! - Fuck. 1127 01:12:23,548 --> 01:12:25,266 Don't worry, I got this shit. 1128 01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,307 Pig! 1129 01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,229 Oh, my word! 1130 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:36,269 Ha, ha. Sorry, Stu. My bad. 1131 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:43,283 Oh, shit. 1132 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:45,949 Get down! 1133 01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:47,409 What the fuck?! 1134 01:12:48,865 --> 01:12:51,459 Oh, no! They shot the monkey! 1135 01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,294 They shot the monkey! 1136 01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,046 I'm at my wits' end! 1137 01:12:58,958 --> 01:13:00,756 He's coming back around. 1138 01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:02,841 Look out! 1139 01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,264 - Holy fuck. - Oh, no. 1140 01:13:29,030 --> 01:13:31,249 - Everybody all right? - Yeah. 1141 01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:35,412 Whoo! I have such an erection right now. 1142 01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,341 Are you for real? 1143 01:13:45,463 --> 01:13:46,589 Shh. 1144 01:13:46,756 --> 01:13:50,181 It's okay. it's okay. it's okay. 1145 01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,767 It's okay. 1146 01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:57,937 They're gonna take good care of you here, okay? 1147 01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,400 What's that? 1148 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,942 Oh, yeah. Of course. 1149 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:08,861 Cigarettes, got them right here. Here you go. 1150 01:14:13,324 --> 01:14:14,701 There you go. 1151 01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:20,001 Deep breath. 1152 01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:21,882 Good. Good. 1153 01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:24,544 Smoke it in. 1154 01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:27,213 Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. 1155 01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,723 There you go. 1156 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:32,017 It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker... 1157 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:35,480 but, boy, does it look cool on you. 1158 01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:38,141 Alan! Come on, let's go! 1159 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,320 I'm gonna miss you, monkey. 1160 01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:48,735 I wish monkeys could Skype. 1161 01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,905 Maybe one day. 1162 01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:02,378 - Come on, get in. - Scoot over. 1163 01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:05,510 - Oh, we gotta go see Kingsley. - He's gonna be fine. 1164 01:15:20,891 --> 01:15:23,861 If I could save time in a bottle 1165 01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:28,775 The first thing that I'd like to do 1166 01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:32,153 Is to save every day 1167 01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:36,036 Till eternity passes away 1168 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,117 Just to spend them with you 1169 01:15:38,325 --> 01:15:40,168 Are you guys seriously this calm? 1170 01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,080 Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo. 1171 01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:45,375 I give him money, he gives us Teddy. 1172 01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,919 Ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff? 1173 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:51,339 I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this. 1174 01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,223 I met my wife at one of these things. 1175 01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:55,976 You have a wife? 1176 01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,433 Yeah. We married 15 years. 1177 01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,725 What, Chow not good-looking enough for woman? 1178 01:16:02,391 --> 01:16:03,563 No, that's cool. 1179 01:16:05,853 --> 01:16:07,696 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Tower Club. 1180 01:16:07,855 --> 01:16:10,529 Blah, blah, blah. Who cares? 1181 01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:14,115 - it's okay. - Stop. Chow crossing. 1182 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,159 Hey, Kingsley. 1183 01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,578 - Well, well. - Propecia looking nice. 1184 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:24,497 Whew, you been hitting the gym? 1185 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:28,171 Yes, I am, actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow. 1186 01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,712 Hey, guys, have a seat. 1187 01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:32,179 Where's Teddy? 1188 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:35,012 He's waiting downstairs in my car. We'll send him up... 1189 01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:37,677 ...when the transfer is complete. - Tell you what: 1190 01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:42,189 Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy. And I throw in this other fat fuck for free. 1191 01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:45,025 Oh, jeez. Chow. 1192 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:47,278 Can we move this along? 1193 01:16:47,812 --> 01:16:50,156 Alan, account number? 1194 01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:52,241 Come On, Come On, Come On. 1195 01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:56,654 Uh, eight-one-four... 1196 01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,407 K, as in "knife"... 1197 01:16:59,573 --> 01:17:02,292 two-three-nine-eight. 1198 01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:04,874 Password? 1199 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,380 "Baloney1 1200 01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:08,420 Your password is "baloney1"? 1201 01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:11,506 It used to be just "baloney." Now they make you add number. 1202 01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:15,381 Really fucking annoying. Okay. 1203 01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:26,809 - And it's that easy. - Ta-da. 1204 01:17:28,185 --> 01:17:29,812 Oh, look, you sunk my battleship. 1205 01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:33,362 Great. Now can we please have Teddy? 1206 01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:37,032 Uh, yeah. Bring him up. 1207 01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,742 Good to go. 1208 01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:42,909 Ha, ha. See? We go to your wedding, we have fun, I bust a nut. 1209 01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:46,079 We did it, Stu. it's over. 1210 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,556 This is Bangkok Police. Everybody down. 1211 01:18:00,926 --> 01:18:03,930 No! Kingsley, you're fucking 5-0? 1212 01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:05,602 Gotcha, Leslie. 1213 01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:06,936 Get him out of here. 1214 01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:08,521 Go. Good, good! We're good! 1215 01:18:13,772 --> 01:18:15,695 How the fuck...?! 1216 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,451 Samir? 1217 01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,782 You fucked me over 6 grand? You camel jockey. 1218 01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,033 You spit to me? 1219 01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:25,959 You spit to me? 1220 01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:28,291 Hey, 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time. 1221 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:30,582 It's not the money, man. It's the principle. 1222 01:18:30,748 --> 01:18:33,627 Principle? Nigga, please. We both dead inside. 1223 01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,794 You call me nigga? Huh? Don't call me nigga. 1224 01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:39,135 - Toodleoo, motherfucker! - Called me nigga. Racist asshole, man. 1225 01:18:40,799 --> 01:18:43,268 - You guys okay? - What the fuck's going on? 1226 01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:45,304 Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol. 1227 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,144 - You're a cop? - Yes. 1228 01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:49,729 This sting operation's been in place for weeks. 1229 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:53,112 When Samir told us that your friend was lost... 1230 01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,106 we took advantage of that information. 1231 01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:58,158 - I'm sorry. - Oh, no. 1232 01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:02,117 - So can Teddy come out of the car now? - No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fucking car. 1233 01:19:02,279 --> 01:19:04,782 They don't have him. They never had him. 1234 01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:07,168 They just needed us to bring them Chow. 1235 01:19:07,534 --> 01:19:09,252 They used Teddy as bait. 1236 01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:12,123 Do you have any leads at all? 1237 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,010 No. We've checked everywhere, no one has seen him. I'm sorry. 1238 01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:19,179 If you haven't found him by now... 1239 01:19:19,546 --> 01:19:22,095 I'm afraid Bangkok has him. 1240 01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:29,266 Why do people keep saying that? 1241 01:19:31,308 --> 01:19:32,810 Stu... 1242 01:19:33,686 --> 01:19:35,404 it's time. 1243 01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:41,653 Phil. 1244 01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:43,658 I'm sorry. 1245 01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:47,158 Don't say that. Please. 1246 01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:49,418 No, this time we really fucked up. 1247 01:19:49,576 --> 01:19:51,499 Oh, God. How bad? 1248 01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:53,539 Like no wedding bad? 1249 01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:55,208 Yeah. 1250 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,927 Little worse than that. 1251 01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:04,179 I don't know what to tell you. 1252 01:20:24,028 --> 01:20:25,746 Okay, how about this? 1253 01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,872 He fell off the fishing boat and drowned. 1254 01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:30,659 No. 1255 01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,579 Okay, I got it. 1256 01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,874 Teddy was hit by a truck. 1257 01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:39,051 - Alan. - Not a good time, Phil. Kind of busy. 1258 01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,052 How many people get run over here? 1259 01:20:41,211 --> 01:20:43,509 Ugh. Over 1200 a year, Phil. 1260 01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:46,767 Perfect. His body was too mangled to recover. 1261 01:20:46,925 --> 01:20:48,051 Case closed. 1262 01:20:49,803 --> 01:20:51,430 Can I have more ice, please? 1263 01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:54,066 I'm not gonna lie to Lauren. 1264 01:20:54,224 --> 01:20:57,398 Stu, do you want this or not? 1265 01:20:57,728 --> 01:21:00,231 Look at what I've done, Phil. 1266 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,658 What I do. 1267 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:07,788 I have a weakness for prostitutes. 1268 01:21:08,155 --> 01:21:09,873 All kinds, apparently. 1269 01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:17,214 I have a demon in me. 1270 01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,754 So what? 1271 01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:25,724 Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren. I'll just let her live her life without me. 1272 01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:26,928 Stu. 1273 01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:30,391 I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back. 1274 01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,267 I'm getting off the hamster wheel. 1275 01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:36,559 I'm gonna stay here in Bangkok. 1276 01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:38,853 I think I belong here. 1277 01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,693 Open up a little dentist office. 1278 01:21:42,564 --> 01:21:44,566 Teeth cleanings with a happy ending. 1279 01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:50,785 You sure about this? 1280 01:21:57,955 --> 01:22:00,253 Hey! What the crud? 1281 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,009 Power's out, Alan. 1282 01:22:07,631 --> 01:22:09,258 - Phil. - Doug. 1283 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,677 I need answers, man. 1284 01:22:10,843 --> 01:22:13,346 - I know, um... - Doug, who are you talking to? 1285 01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,640 - Give me the phone. - No, that's a private... 1286 01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:17,524 - Who is this? - Lauren? 1287 01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:20,357 Phil? Tell me what's going on right now. 1288 01:22:21,019 --> 01:22:22,612 We lost your little brother. 1289 01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:24,110 What? 1290 01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:26,696 Bangkok has him now. 1291 01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:35,538 We gotta take the stairs. 1292 01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:37,169 You're in Bangkok? 1293 01:22:40,956 --> 01:22:44,381 Ew! That's a finger! 1294 01:22:44,543 --> 01:22:45,886 Put Stu on the phone. 1295 01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,349 "Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1296 01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,601 Stu really just doesn't wanna talk to anybody. 1297 01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:54,644 - Water. - Power's out. 1298 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,727 Come on, Stewie. Use that big Jewish brain. 1299 01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,143 He's just not up for it... 1300 01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,732 - Phil? Phil. Phil, give me the phone. - it's Lauren. 1301 01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:06,991 - I know. I need to talk to her. - I'm handling this. I'll handle this, Stu! 1302 01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,868 - You're gonna break her heart! - Hey, sweetheart, it's me. 1303 01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,074 I'm so sorry! 1304 01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:14,831 Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he mean, you lost Teddy? 1305 01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:17,038 What? Is that what Phil said? 1306 01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:19,829 No, no, no. We misplaced Teddy. 1307 01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:23,295 But we're all good now. We're headed back to the resort. See you soon. 1308 01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:25,751 I love you so much. 1309 01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:29,843 And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye. 1310 01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:33,926 Stu! 1311 01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,225 - Stu...! - Ah! 1312 01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:42,355 Taxi! Taxi! 1313 01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:45,943 Come on! Come on, Alan! Come on! 1314 01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:49,484 - Hey, you mind filling us in? - Okay. 1315 01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:51,903 - Now, when we woke up, the power was out. - Yeah. 1316 01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:53,946 And you found Teddy's finger in what? 1317 01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:57,787 - In a bowl of water. - But it didn't start out as water. 1318 01:23:57,950 --> 01:24:00,544 - It was ice. - Exactly. Teddy got ice from the machine... 1319 01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:03,501 came back to the room, put his finger on ice, fell asleep. 1320 01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:07,043 What do you do if you wake up and your finger's in a bowl of melted ice? 1321 01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:10,964 I'd get more ice, Stu, on the 15th fucking floor! 1322 01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,224 Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out... 1323 01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:17,512 Holy shit. Of course. 1324 01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,430 Of course, he's in the ice machine. 1325 01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,644 Alan, no! 1326 01:24:25,102 --> 01:24:26,570 It's on 10! 1327 01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:27,980 Sir, is the elevator stuck? 1328 01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:31,988 - Come on. - Go. Go, go, go. 1329 01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,492 Ten! This is it! Teddy! 1330 01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:37,907 Teddy! Teddy! 1331 01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,996 Look out, look out. 1332 01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,844 - Oh, my God! Teddy! - He's okay! He's okay! 1333 01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,346 Hey, you okay? 1334 01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,681 You okay, man? 1335 01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:55,841 Where am I? 1336 01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:58,181 You're in an elevator in the middle of Bangkok. 1337 01:24:58,343 --> 01:25:00,687 But we're gonna get you out of here. It's gonna be fine. 1338 01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:02,268 Hey, Stu... 1339 01:25:02,514 --> 01:25:04,312 nice tattoo. 1340 01:25:06,143 --> 01:25:08,316 - Thanks, man. - All right, let's do this. 1341 01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:09,946 Come on. Come on, come on. 1342 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:12,858 Doug, we found him. Yeah! 1343 01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:16,700 I know, I know, but we're on our way. Okay, bye. 1344 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:20,207 All right, guests are arriving, people are starting to ask questions... 1345 01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,367 but we can still pull this off. 1346 01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,787 - How? - I don't know. Like, a taxi? 1347 01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,626 - Chow's speedboat. - What? 1348 01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:29,337 Last thing I remember was getting off Chow's speedboat. 1349 01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,297 Chow has a speedboat? 1350 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,428 The Perfect Life. 1351 01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,051 Come on. 1352 01:25:38,925 --> 01:25:41,144 Stu, get that back line. 1353 01:25:42,763 --> 01:25:44,606 Good jump, Phil! 1354 01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:48,519 - You all right? - Yeah. 1355 01:25:48,894 --> 01:25:50,487 You sure you know how to drive this thing? 1356 01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,278 Please. I was raised in yacht clubs. I know what I'm doing. 1357 01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:19,591 You know where we're going? 1358 01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,101 Please address me as "captain." 1359 01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:24,763 Oh, fuck you, Alan. 1360 01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:29,568 Do you know where We're going, captain? 1361 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:35,066 Affirmative, cadet. We're going south, through the Gulf of Thailand. Ha, ha. 1362 01:26:35,232 --> 01:26:36,404 Good. 1363 01:26:57,671 --> 01:27:00,971 Hey. You okay? 1364 01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:04,136 - Feeling a little better. - All right. 1365 01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:10,108 Listen, Teddy, I'm really sorry. We didn't mean for any of this to happen. 1366 01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:15,023 It's funny. I can't remember anything... 1367 01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:18,317 but when I woke up... 1368 01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,407 I was kind of happy. 1369 01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:22,450 Yeah! 1370 01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,660 By the way, you have any idea where my finger is? 1371 01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,171 Yeah, we gave it to a drug-dealing monkey. 1372 01:27:34,166 --> 01:27:35,543 Bangkok. 1373 01:27:36,001 --> 01:27:37,844 Yeah, right? 1374 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,801 Fucking Bangkok. 1375 01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:50,019 He's on his way, I'm telling you. Dad's always doing this. 1376 01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,021 No, it's just... 1377 01:27:53,810 --> 01:27:55,562 I apologize! There will be no wedding! 1378 01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,152 No, he is on his way. He will be here. 1379 01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,943 Please, if you will all move to the bar. 1380 01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:03,362 We are going to clear this area. Please. 1381 01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:06,661 Daddy, how can you do this? 1382 01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,785 I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming. 1383 01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:13,546 You don't understand. 1384 01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:16,174 Look. There they are. 1385 01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,801 Stu! 1386 01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,179 Alan, there's no dock. 1387 01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,393 Just hang on. 1388 01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,808 - Alan, it's not funny. Turn the boat. - Hang on. 1389 01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,647 Is that Alan driving the boat? 1390 01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:36,403 What? Uh... 1391 01:28:36,561 --> 01:28:39,815 We should probably move back a little bit. Come on. 1392 01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,358 - Alan, slow down! - Please! 1393 01:28:41,525 --> 01:28:44,324 Turn the boat! Turn the boat, Alan! Turn the fucking boat! 1394 01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:46,159 Everyone, back up a little bit here. 1395 01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,666 Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Come on, sir. 1396 01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:50,917 Hold on! Hold on! 1397 01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,753 Fuck! 1398 01:29:05,465 --> 01:29:06,512 Hi. 1399 01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,518 Hi, everybody. 1400 01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:12,264 We came in a little hotter than we planned. 1401 01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,607 And sorry we trenched the lawn here. 1402 01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:17,611 Totally fixable. A bit of sod, we'll be fine. 1403 01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:19,112 - Baby! - Oh, my God. 1404 01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:22,366 - Hi. - Ah, I'm so happy to see you. 1405 01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:24,777 Teddy. 1406 01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:26,699 Teddy, here. 1407 01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:28,956 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, Teddy. 1408 01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:32,209 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm okay. 1409 01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,869 No! Your hand! 1410 01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,961 I know. We had an accident. I'm okay. 1411 01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:41,589 - This is your fault. - No, Dad. 1412 01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,628 He's right. Mr. Srisai, Lauren. 1413 01:29:43,795 --> 01:29:46,048 - I haven't been completely honest with you. - Stu? 1414 01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:47,261 - Yeah? - Don't do this. 1415 01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:49,722 Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it. 1416 01:29:50,260 --> 01:29:52,558 You said I'm chok. 1417 01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:55,099 Well, I'm not. 1418 01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:59,987 I'm not some weird milky, ricey, watery goop... 1419 01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,773 that you feed to infants and old people, okay? 1420 01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:06,409 Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper. 1421 01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:13,371 I wish I was a boring dentist who had a boring life and boring friends... 1422 01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,002 but I don't, I'm not. 1423 01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:18,622 I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack. 1424 01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:22,258 Hey, it's not weird. it's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee... 1425 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,670 I have heard enough of this. You come here. 1426 01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,383 Whoa. 1427 01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:29,015 Here's the deal, man. 1428 01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:32,097 I got a dark side. 1429 01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,973 There's a demon in me. 1430 01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:38,020 It's true, he has semen in him. 1431 01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:40,982 I said "demon." 1432 01:30:41,144 --> 01:30:43,021 But you also have semen in you. Remember? 1433 01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,941 That's not relevant, but thank you, Alan. 1434 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:48,656 Point is... 1435 01:30:48,818 --> 01:30:53,369 this demon takes me to some pretty weird places. 1436 01:30:53,531 --> 01:30:56,785 And we lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok. 1437 01:30:57,369 --> 01:31:01,215 But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him. 1438 01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:03,876 We took on Bangkok and we won. 1439 01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:08,388 And that's pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Right? 1440 01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:15,430 I love your daughter and I'm gonna marry her... 1441 01:31:15,595 --> 01:31:17,689 unless you have any problem with that. 1442 01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,144 - I'm good. - All right. 1443 01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:22,815 But all that said... 1444 01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:25,777 it would actually mean a great deal to both of us... 1445 01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:29,318 if we could just get your motherfucking blessing. 1446 01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,215 Hey, Alan. 1447 01:31:48,211 --> 01:31:49,884 Your head looks pretty cool shaved. 1448 01:31:51,006 --> 01:31:52,178 Thanks, Phil. 1449 01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,434 You should shave your head too. 1450 01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,140 Why would I do that? 1451 01:31:56,302 --> 01:31:58,930 Well, that way, we would look exactly alike. 1452 01:32:10,066 --> 01:32:11,693 Take good care of my daughter, Stu. 1453 01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:15,326 - I will. - Thank you. 1454 01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:24,289 I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat. 1455 01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:26,550 Just happy you're here. 1456 01:32:29,127 --> 01:32:32,882 Don't worry about the tattoo. I'll have it lasered as soon as we're home in L.A. 1457 01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:34,641 It's okay. I can get used to it. 1458 01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,473 Really? 1459 01:32:40,221 --> 01:32:43,395 - But for now, let's switch sides? - Yeah, okay. 1460 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,310 Thank you. 1461 01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:47,771 Much better. 1462 01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:51,491 Dear family and friends... 1463 01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,322 on behalf of Stu and Lauren... 1464 01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:57,160 I welcome all of you for this marriage celebration. 1465 01:32:57,655 --> 01:33:01,455 We are here today to encourage, celebrate... 1466 01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:37,988 I walk along the avenue 1467 01:33:39,197 --> 01:33:43,168 I never thought I'd meet a girl like you 1468 01:33:43,785 --> 01:33:46,129 Meet a girl like you 1469 01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:53,011 And I ran Iran so far away 1470 01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:55,680 I couldn't get away 1471 01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:58,717 Thanks, buddy. Can you hold on for a second? 1472 01:33:58,883 --> 01:34:00,305 Thank you. Ahem. 1473 01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,896 Hello? Hi, everyone. 1474 01:34:11,896 --> 01:34:14,240 I'm, uh... My name's Alan Garner. 1475 01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:20,702 Um, I want to thank the Asiatic people for allowing us in your land. 1476 01:34:22,407 --> 01:34:26,537 I wanted to, um, say that, um, I'm really happy to be here... 1477 01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:30,753 and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu. 1478 01:34:31,124 --> 01:34:35,220 Um, and a lot of thought have gone into this... 1479 01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:39,554 and I hope that you appreciate it as much I di... Are going to. 1480 01:34:39,716 --> 01:34:40,763 Okay. Guys. 1481 01:34:55,106 --> 01:34:57,825 Bangkok, Oriental setting, and the city Don't know what the city is getting 1482 01:34:58,026 --> 01:34:59,619 Oh, fuck! 1483 01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:02,368 In a show with everything But Yul Brynner, ya know? 1484 01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:09,080 One night in Bangkok And the world's your oyster 1485 01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:12,958 The bars are temples But the pearls, they ain't free 1486 01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:17,800 You'll find a god in every golden cloister 1487 01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:21,558 And if you're lucky, then the god's a she 1488 01:35:21,799 --> 01:35:23,016 Alan! 1489 01:35:23,176 --> 01:35:25,429 I can feel the devil walking next to me 1490 01:35:25,595 --> 01:35:27,563 What the fuck, man? 1491 01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:30,601 - So, what do you think? - It's insane! How did you do that? 1492 01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,691 My dad had to make a lot of calls, and then I told Mike, I said: 1493 01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:36,151 "You gotta do it. It's for my third best friend." 1494 01:35:36,898 --> 01:35:39,742 Alan, it's amazing. I love it. 1495 01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,948 Thank you so much. 1496 01:35:41,110 --> 01:35:44,740 We only have him for the night. We don't own him permanently. 1497 01:35:45,531 --> 01:35:47,408 Understood. 1498 01:35:47,951 --> 01:35:52,001 One night in Bangkok Makes the hard man humble 1499 01:35:52,538 --> 01:35:55,917 Not much between despair and ecstasy 1500 01:35:56,668 --> 01:36:00,343 I can feel the devil walking next to me 1501 01:36:03,091 --> 01:36:04,968 You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? 1502 01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:09,393 Mike, you were great. 1503 01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,774 It's true, that was incredible. 1504 01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:15,187 Thanks, guys. Thank you. That means a lot. Really, it does. 1505 01:36:15,353 --> 01:36:18,482 By the way, you really need to remove that fucking tattoo from your face. 1506 01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,650 Yep. On it. 1507 01:36:23,069 --> 01:36:25,197 Sorry about the last-minute performance change. 1508 01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:27,286 - Don't worry. - What are you talking about? 1509 01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:30,543 Well, he was supposed to sing "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers... 1510 01:36:30,702 --> 01:36:33,046 but then I remembered you don't like indie rock. 1511 01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,377 Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe this. 1512 01:36:35,540 --> 01:36:37,918 - Is that your phone? - Yeah. 1513 01:36:38,084 --> 01:36:40,007 How come you never tried calling us? 1514 01:36:40,169 --> 01:36:41,762 It's been dead for two days. 1515 01:36:41,921 --> 01:36:44,219 But I recharged it and found all these photos. 1516 01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:45,975 - What? - Oh, shit. 1517 01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:47,727 Some of it's pretty messed up. 1518 01:36:47,885 --> 01:36:50,889 - Awesome. Let's check them out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1519 01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,557 No one needs to see this stuff. 1520 01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:55,147 Come on, man. I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything. 1521 01:36:55,727 --> 01:36:57,855 - It'll be fine. - What...? 1522 01:36:59,397 --> 01:37:01,024 All right. But we look at it once... 1523 01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:04,410 And then we delete them. It's gonna be okay. 1524 01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,829 Motherfucker. 114048

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.