All language subtitles for Game.Over.Man.2018.1080p.NF.WEBRip

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Turn my vocals up A
little more, please ♪

♪ A$AP ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ A$AP ♪

♪ Yeah, a little bit more ♪

- ♪ Yeah, I'm on it, yeah!
♪ - ♪ Woof! Woof! ♪

- ♪ I'm on it, I'm on it ♪ - ♪ Woof!
Woof! Ay! ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪ - ♪ Oh! ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new
level ♪ - ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level
♪ - ♪ Uh, uh, yeah! ♪

♪ Bought me a new shovel ♪

♪ Put these niggas in the dirt ♪

♪ Chain with the new bezel ♪

♪ All my niggas put in work ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

♪ I'm on a new level ♪

♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪ -
♪ Bought me a new shovel ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪ - ♪ Put these
niggas in the dirt ♪

♪ Used to be sleeping
on itchy beds ♪

♪ Bedbugs in the motel ♪

♪ Now your bitch give me head ♪

♪ Twenty bitches in the hotel ♪

♪ On a ramen noodle diet ♪

♪ Tour life wasn't so well ♪

♪ All my niggas starting riots ♪

♪ Mosh-pitting on
your toenails ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪
- ♪ I'm on a new level ♪

- ♪ Bought me a new
shovel ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ All my niggas put in work ♪

Housekeeping!

Arm yourselves, gentlemen.

Okay, this is the last time I'm gonna
say it, and then I'll drop it.

But what about my
jeans club idea?

Right? Twenty dollars a month

for access to over
10,000 pairs of jeans?

Who wouldn't buy that?

Well, almost everybody we
asked about it. Right?

What about my hot-tutor idea?

Kids would study harder if their
tutor was really hot, right?

We just needed to build up our...
our stable of tutoresses.

Yeah, well, maybe when you called
them a "stable of tutoresses"

on the Craigslisting...
that was a bad idea.

We could come up
with other names.

The whole point is that
it's a weird concept

to hire women to take off
their clothes for children.

Why am I coming up with the ideas, right?
I'm not the idea guy.

Darren, that's you.
You're the idea guy.

I'm the "why."
You're the "what."

Baby Dunc, you're the "how."

So let's put it into high
gear right now, baby.

Why? Because our lives suck.

I did my part. What are we
gonna do about it, Darren?

And how are we gonna
do it, Baby Dunc?

Let's go! Let's freakin'...

put it into high gear.

Yeah, let's kick it into high gear.
Sell me some salvia.

- I'm about to get high.
- Darren.

Darren, you're a drug addict.
And I'm here to help.

- I got you. There you go.
- Thank you, baby.

Enjoy that.

- Ooh.
- What the hell are you doing, man?

I'm a hustler. "I'm a...
I'm a hustler."

I'm basically the Rick Ross
of our friendship tripod.

What's the big deal?

Weed does not do
the trick anymore.

- This stuff does.
- Really great.

I'm not gonna become the
mom from Moonlight.

Yeah, no. I know what
that movie's about.

I steered clear of that one.

I'm more of a La La Land guy.

La-la boy.

Bye-bye.

Latro.

- Gonna start tweakin'.
- Yeah.

He's gonna start tweakin'!

Oh, my God. Look at the
size of this dude's load!

- What?
- Look at this thing!

Don't touch it.

That's a heavy hitter.

Whoa. Yeah, no.

It's like Nickelodeon Gak.

- The consistency's thick, like flubber.
- Mm.

Rub some on our shoes, see
if we can play basketball.

I mean, his nut sack
must be gigantoid.

- Yeah.
- Right? Just big old sack

- to produce that.
- I don't really wanna imagine

any nut sacks,

but I will say the only thing that
would make me blow a load that big

is a really hot babe, right?
I am right?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

I mean, look. They're
everywhere, man.

There's one. There's one.

This guy's busting loads
all over this room.

That's what we should be doing.

We should be busting
loads into condoms

or maybe even not into
condoms if she's tested.

He's chuggin' champagne
like a freakin' boss!

I'm over here... I'm holding on to
the poop side of this scrubber.

Sure, yes. I've heard
all of this before.

We should be wearing diamonds, collecting
albino pythons, dating on Raya.

Raya?

We're not, okay? We're here.

This is our life.

That's still fizzy. It's pretty good.
You might want some.

- What was that?
- Oh, he's tweaking.

Here, here. Grab a condom. Put it
on his face. I'll take a picture.

Oh, you are a dog.

- That's what he gets.
- Oh, my God.

Ooh, we got the snakeskin.

- Don't do drugs.
- No!

- Okay.
- No!

- Put it on his face.
- Take the photo.

- Take the picture. Take a photo.
- No.

I will as soon as you
put it on his face.

- I'm not going to. Just take the photo.
- Just put it on his face.

- He'll get an STD.
- All the ejac is inside of the condom.

Take the photo.

Grab it!

The outside, the woman...

She could have one, obviously.

- Well, she...
- Hey!

What's wrong with him?

- Yep. Darren!
- No!

- All right, just stop.
- Darren.

Okay. Joel, I got this. Come on.

You want some salvia? Huh?

Get the fuck out of my room.

Get out, maids.

We're not maids.
We're housekeepers.

- Not even that hot.
- Yeah, dude, you're not even that hot.

I was talking about
the chick, Baby Dunc.

Yeah, so was I.

It's 2018. You can
call chicks dudes now.

- Okay.
- You can.

What the heck are
you guys doing?

Hey, dude. See?

Is he high again?

No.

I don't think he's being truthful.
I have to call Mitch.

Wish you wouldn't.

- Don't do that!
- Hi, Mitch.

- It's Cassie.
- Don't do that to your boy.

- Jesus Christ.
- What?

Pick him up. Put
him on the cart.

Come on, Darren.
Come on, come on.

Jesus.

♪ Dollar-dollar bill, y'all Cash
rules everything around me ♪

♪ C.R.E.A.M., get the money ♪

♪ Dollar-dollar bill, y'all ♪

So they were yelling at hotel
guests and smoking dope.

- Is that right?
- Yes.

Yelling at guests,
screaming obscenities.

Well, Tums... boys will be boys.

You still want that associate
manager promotion, don't you?

Well, honey, tonight is
your chance to prove it.

All right?

Hope you got your balls on, now.

No, I have...

Uh, yes, I have giant, uh, lady...
lady parts

that hang like balls.

They're also called ovaries.
Those are inside.

Good, 'cause we have got a shit storm
of a party heading our way tonight.

Boys, I'm gonna need
you working too.

Toni... what? Are you serious?

Corky! This is Mr. Ahmad.

He is the personal attaché
of the Bey of Tunisia.

Oh, like the butler
from Fresh Prince?

Very neat.

- I'm far from a butler.
- Wonder what happened to that guy.

Oh, that dude's paid.
He's doing fine.

Bey Awadi. The rich
dude from Instagram?

This is who we speak of.

Aw, I love that dude.

He takes all the pictures
with the hot models

and the guns and
the hovercrafts,

and the hot models shooting
guns on hovercrafts.

Yeah, didn't he poop
off the Eiffel Tower?

- Mm-mm, no.
- Yeah.

He paid a man $10,000 to
poop off the Eiffel Tower.

That's what's up.

He pays dudes tons of
money all the time

- to do, like, stupid shit.
- Wow.

- Dudes.
- What?

We should pitch him the...

We should... pitch in tonight.

At the party. And
be a team player.

Also, I should mention, uh, no cameras.
That includes cell phones.

- Privacy... a great concern of the Bey.
- All right, copy that. Give them up, boys.

- What, now?
- Yeah.

Hashtag "right now." What is it with
you kids and the phones? Come on.

You'll get 'em back at
the end of the night.

Okay. Now...

you guys have some place to be?
I bet you do, huh?

So fucking get there!

Oh, hey!

Sack up now, Tums.
Big night, right?

Yes!

I can't get in there.

I call her Tums 'cause she
relieves my heartburn.

Always been a nickname guy,

even when I was
back QB-ing at USC.

Our security team should
be arriving soon.

Great.

Hey, wanna go for one?

- No.
- Blue.

- Forty-two! Hut, hut, hut, huh?
- What are we doing?

- Wanna go?
- I don't know what...

All right. Fuck it.

Oh!

Right in the numbers!

I still got it.

I'll race you down there.
Come on!

Don't be stingy, papi.

- Kisses.
- You like that?

It's for you.

- Uh, I have to go.
- Okay, bye. Bye, sexy.

Hey. I'm Ray.

Mitch usually has me run security
for these special events.

Uh, but you look like you
know what you're doing.

I'm just here for
the payday, right?

That makes two of us.

Aah!

Donald, get linked up with
our offshore bank accounts

as soon as possible.

Well, you didn't bring me along

'cause I look like the black
nerd from Die Hard...

'cause I don't.

Roger, I'm sick of it.

We need to secure the
building and arm the exits

with our explosive triggers before
we can take control of the rooftop.

So until then, consider
yourselves "hotel security."

And once the Bey gives us
his account access codes

and Donald transfers
the money...

we pull out.

Gentlemen... let's move.

Oh, and... someone
get rid of the body.

You should grab his ankles.
You're good at that.

- Fuck off, fag.
- Ooh.

You'd seriously wanna
pitch the Bey of Tunisia

one of our million-dollar ideas?

- Yeah.
- If we're pitching an idea...

- We're pitching!
- What are we pitching?

We could go with my
jeans club idea.

Hot tutors.

Medieval Times: breakfast,
lunch, and tournament?

I don't ever wanna hear about
Medieval Times BLT ever again.

Okay, they only do dinner.

We would do breakfast and lunch.
That's two more meals!

We would totally knock 'em out
of the medieval dining space.

Oh, that's a huge market.

Okay, you guys have good ideas? I wanna
hear 'em. I'm excited to hear 'em.

I feel like I'm the only one

crushing ideas out the gate.

Skintendo Joysuit?

Uh, what? No. Baby Dunc...

Yeah, we're going Skintendo.
I like it.

All right, you know what?
I hate to be this guy,

but that dude's not gonna
invest in Skintendo.

Not in a million Willenniums.

So, it's like that?

We finally have a shot

to fulfill our childhood dreams

and you guys wanna let
it float on past?

It's... like... dat?

I don't know about you,

but I don't wanna be picking
up nut-stuffed condoms

for the rest of my life without knowing
what type of sex they had with it.

Was it missionary? Was it doggy?

Was it doggy butt? Was it side-style butt?
I don't know.

Yeah, Alexxx, we all wanna know how
people are fucking each other, okay?

- Obviously.
- It's obvious.

- Mostly all I think about.
- Yeah, I mean, I can keep going.

- Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl.
- Plow-girl.

- Where you take the legs and you...
- Yeah.

I'm just saying, we
don't have the Joysuit.

Right? There's no screen
to play Lumber Jackson.

- Right.
- Okay.

You ready? Okay, you're the QB.
You're the running back.

Giving you the ball.
Run with it.

You need to write down all
the technical mumbo jumbo

so the Bey understands
what this thing is.

- Right?
- That's a lot of work.

Darren, I'm gonna get you
markers, a poster board.

You're gonna draw Lumber Jackson

so beautifully...
muscles just popping.

Shredded, baby!

And you're gonna draw the Skintendo.
Right? The whole Joysuit.

Make it look pretty, and then I'm
gonna pitch that motherfucker.

- Okay.
- Dollar-dollar bills, y'all.

Boom! Put it in.

Dew'd Crew in full effect!

Finally fulfilling our destiny
of being childhood billionaires.

Let's do it! Hands in.

Everybody put your hands in.
Hands in.

Put your fist in.
Put your fist in.

Dew'd Crew!

- I fucking love you guys. I'm so excited.
- Okay.

- Yes! I'll go get supplies.
- All right.

Yeah, just, uh, go get
those markers, man. Sick.

What the fuck was that?

What?

I mean, c-come on. He's
gonna pitch something.

It might as well be Skintendo.

Listen, dum-dum.

We can't pitch any
of the upgrades.

We can't pitch the wireless connectivity,
the friend-controller mode.

Because if we do,
Alexxx is gonna know

that we've been working
on Skintendo without him.

I'm just sick of working
here, all right?

We should've told him
from the beginning.

No, no. What?

He would've turned it into
some moneymaking idea,

and that's not what it is to us.
Right?

- Right.
- And we're not gonna tell him now,

'cause he'll probably just...

kill himself. Or someone.
I don't know.

I can just see him going into a rage and...
biting people. Children.

Bitten children.
Blood on your hands.

Fine.

So we pitch Bey,
he laughs us off,

and we go back to working on the idea...
together, secretly.

The fuck is that?

- It's a vape pen, Baby Dunc.
- Okay.

Well, you look like a
tool smoking that thing.

Well, I'm not "smoking" it.

I'm vaping it.

Ah, these your boys?

I believe so. Mr. Drothers.

- Mr. Ahmad. We, uh, spoke over the phone.
- Please. Conrad.

- This is Donald. This is Erma.
- You brought your girlfriend, huh?

I'm not his girlfriend.

Noted.

So did you guys, uh,
meet up with Ray?

Ray isn't going to make it.

But I assure you, he briefed me.
Thoroughly.

Okay, Conrad.

If Ray briefed you
so thoroughly...

he left out the most important
detail of the evening.

No hats.

No hats. I guess the Bey likes to
be the only guy wearing a hat.

Which I get, you know,
'cause I'm a hat guy myself.

But, uh... really, love
the Kangol, but...

Maybe call you Kangol-roo.

Uh...

Kangol-roo, huh? How about that?

Come on. Let's go
have a party, huh?

Let's have some fun.

I'm gonna dance with
you tonight, my dear.

♪ Have a word for your brother ♪

♪ Have some time
for one another ♪

♪ Really love one another ♪

♪ It's so hard to find ♪

♪ Have a word for
your brother... ♪

Whoo!

Catch me, dudes!

- ♪ Really love one another... ♪

Yeah, so I met Bey... Uh,
he was doing a TED Talk

in Vegas... on being 'bout it.

We had a moment, and now
we're good friends.

Well, we're not good friends, actually.
I w... I would say... acquaintances.

You know what? I'm hoping
to meet him tonight.

Keep your eyes peeled. The
Bey's somewhere here.

Whoa! Oh! Action Bronson
right over here.

Excuse me, Mr. Bronson. Can I
interest you in a pulled pork...

barbecue quesadilla...

with corn relish.

Fuck, that's fuckin'
delicious, man.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

- He spit it out but said it was delicious.
- Yes.

Maybe he's watching his calorie intake.
He is wearing athletic wear.

Ho-ly shit.

There he is...

the Bey.

Oh, my God, he is the man.

Even his little dog has
100,000 followers.

- Wow.
- Yeah, I don't know,

it looks like he's having fun.

We should probably just
let him do his thang.

Maybe we, uh, hang in the cut?
You know, have him come to us?

"The cut"? There's no cut.

Action's in the cut.

We're not gonna be in the cut if...
Whatever.

Let's go. It's game time.

Hey, yo, I had this pet
hyena once, right?

Then that motherfucker died.
Ehh!

More appeteezees for the Bey.

Then I had that motherfucker
stuffed, put a Fleshlight in back,

and then I fucked the
shit out that bitch.

It's like necrophilia
and bestiality in one.

It's hilarious!

That is hilarious.

Pulled pork quesadilla...

- with a corn relish, anyone?
- Yo.

That sounds bomb as
fyuck right now.

Throw one into my open mouth.

- Really?
- Yeah, bro.

- Okay.
- Ah...

- Oh, I nailed it!
- Make it rain!

- Makin' it rain!
- Come on!

Oh, that shit was dope. I'm
covered in grease, baby.

- Yo, you're my dude.
- Thank you so much.

And this shit is on punto.

Hey, um...

Bey-Bey, may I ask
you a question?

- What that, bro?
- Do you like black people?

Because Lumber
Jackson is the first

full-body-controlled
blaxploitation video game ever.

Now, using our revolutionary
Skintendo Joysuit technology...

Excuse me. Step
away immediately.

Yo, Ahmad, chill
the fuck out, bro.

I'm trying to listen to the man.

- Thank you.
- I'm chilled out.

I arranged this
chilled-out party.

I got Shaggy to perform.

Uh, Shaggy?

Man, busted-ass Shaggy ain't
performing shit, a'ight?

And put that dusty-ass
BlackBerry away.

This primitive-ass,
prehistoric motherfucker.

I'm sorry, guys, 2018, this
dude ain't got a touch screen?

You big fucking tree.

Goddamn.

What a bitch-ass.

- He's just a butler.
- Yeah, you suck.

Yeah, you got low self-esteem.
Fuck off, bro.

Anyway, you were
saying, my dude?

That suit controls that
video game character?

- Yes, actually.
- Oh, yeah.

- And here...
- Yeah, this is the schematics right here.

You know, I built
it, programmed it.

Oh, my God.

Bro, please approach us and
just unzip your trousers

and pull that dick out
so we could just see

what the penis head of a
genius really looks like.

- Know what I'm saying?
- Pull your dick out.

Well, to be honest, uh, it would
be my penis head pulled out.

I'm the genius that came up with
the whole concept, the idea.

I'm not gonna pull my dick out.

Oh, okay. That's a
cute little cartoon,

but did you build
the motherfucker?

- Yeah, no, we have.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we built it.

And there's actually
some new features too,

like, uh, friend-control mode,

where, uh, you can actually control the
person wearing the Skintendo Joysuit.

It's... it's revolutionary.

Damn. Oh, yo, yo, I'm gonna
need, like, three of those

for, like, blap, blap, blap.
You know what I'm saying?

'Cause I love fucking white women.
Makes me feel powerful,

especially if I can control
them, you know what I mean?

Yes! I forgot about friend-control mode.
But you know who didn't forget about it?

Sony and Microsoft when we
pitched them this idea.

And they were super into it. But
you know what I said to them?

Fuck y'all!

'Cause the Dew'd Crew wants
to do business with the Bey.

The Dew'd Crew? Wait, wait, wait.
Time-out, time-out.

'Cause y'all drink
mad Mountain Dew?

You got it!

Yes, that's exactly right.

- How did you...
- Wow.

Yo, motherfucker, me too!
Holy shit, dude!

- You ever fuck with Baja Blast?
- Oh, you know I do. You know I do!

- So good.
- Ah, man...

- Code Red over here!
- This is Code Red boy.

Fuck, I love you guys!

Let's talk numbers. How much
money we talking about?

Bey Awadi. Sorry, this...
this feels like

just the sort of frivolous investment
we spoke about not partaking in.

My dude, just because you told me not to,
why don't you "par-take" my checkbook out

and then write these
motherfuckers a check

for
200-frivolous-fucking-thousand-dollars

so they can chase their goddamn dreams?
Am I right? Yezzir.

Oh, and then please scrub
out my hyena's pussy,

'cause I'm trying to
fuck that shit later.

You should fuck it.

Treat yo'self. Oh, my God!

Cool. Get the fuck out of here.

- Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay.
- Go. Get out, get out.

We'll talk more numbers later.

- Thank you.
- Bye, take care.

All right, y'all. I'm
spending paper tonight.

It's just the beginning!

Not happening.

Apologies, Corky. Let's go, boys.
Let's go.

Let's go!

Cassie! Cassie! Tums!

Tums, meet me at the elevator.

- Come on, boys.
- But our check.

- Fuck off.
- Yeah, I was just...

Yeah, we're going.

- Get up. Get out of here.
- Ow. Goddamn.

These three idiots just tried to sell
a goddamn video game to the Bey!

I thought I told you to sack up!

I'm sorry. I didn't...

You didn't... You didn't
want that promotion?

Yeah, you made
that pretty clear.

Boys! You're fired.

- Yeah.
- No fucking way, Mitch.

He was assaulted.

Out! Out you go!

- We're going.
- Cassie...

- get back to work.
- Yes, sir.

That's quite a stiff arm
you got there, huh?

You all right? Huh? That paw
of yours need a little ice?

- My hand is fine.
- Ah.

Well, how about a little ice
for those nipples, huh?

Oh-ho-ho-ho.

Yeah, you like that, huh?

Oh, that's hot.

Oh, that is hot, lady.

You wanna play?

- I do.
- Okay.

- Oh, I knew it. Oh.
- What about this?

- Yeah. Ooh.
- Mm.

Speaking of stiff...

Not my pecker!

Whoopsie-daisy.

All I'm saying is,

you win some, you lose some.

The key to our jiggy fuckin' lifestyle
is tucked in that butler's pocket.

My name is Alexxx with three Xs.

I'm about to go explosive
on these motherfuckers!

Three X means
"poison," by the way.

- Uh, it's also a Vin Diesel movie.
- Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, well, it's also
spicy barbecue sauce.

But I think we all know I meant
it in the explicit fashion!

My darling, have you
lost your fucking mind?

Get him out of here. If they see
him before we secure the build...

Lock down all exits.

We have three waiters on
the run and they know.

Donald, it's time.

Copy that.

Hey, fellas. Bey Awadi's security here.
We just have one question.

What's your question?

- Do you wanna die?
- What?

Whoa, hey, hey.

What, y'all don't pack a lunch?

Man, take these clowns up
to the roof with the rest.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

Easy, man.

Locking down perimeter now.

Attention, all units. Operation
Trespass begins now.

Sweep the hotel.

Lock and arm all exits
with breach sensors.

We are taking over.

- Move! Get down, stay down.
- Hey, everybody be calm!

Just do what they say.
Everything's gonna be okay.

Right? Right?

Oh!

Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, fuck!

Shit. Fuck.

Yo, what the fuck, man? You're
supposed to be guarding the party.

Party's over.

Darren, stop vaping, all right?

- I can't breathe!
- Just shut up! Okay?

As these doors open,
they're gonna be waiting,

ready to cut cocks.

We'll hide. Hide in the shaft.

- Here, just help me up. Help me up.
- What?

- Ow. Just... what are you doing?
- Oh... oh!

- I found the latch.
- Oh, seriously?

- I think I found it.
- Well, go... get in.

Shit.

They climbed into
the elevator shaft.

They could be anywhere.
Keep your eyes open.

Gotta just get the thing...

- You said you found a latch.
- No, I said I think I found a latch.

Shut up, Baby Dunc.

Whoa.

No one's there.

Follow me.

Wait, I think we should
turn ourselves in.

What? No. Go!

Not turning ourselves in.
That's pussy shit.

They might appreciate
the gesture.

Yeah, and they might cut our dicks off.
We gotta get out and go for help.

We're not gonna go for help.
Slide down this rail.

- It'll be badass.
- What?

Yeah.

Oh! Oh, shit.

- I need help.
- That was not badass. Come on!

All exits confirmed as locked.

No sign of the waiters.

They locked the doors and
we don't have our phones!

- We're screwed!
- No shit, Baby Dunc.

We gotta get a landline.

Clear.

- I got two.
- Quick, take 'em up with the rest.

- Ándale, bitch.

Let's move.

Tie them together.

One collar per group.

Now, listen up... if
you want to live.

These collars are
linked to sensors

that we have placed at every
entrance of this building.

Anyone who attempts
to enter or exit,

they detonate.

It's fucked up, right?

- You missed me.
- Collect their cell phones

if they still have them.

And if they try
anything funny, well...

refrain from killing
anyone unless I tell you.

We're not here to murder.

We're here to collect
a toll from Bey Awadi

for trespassing
on American soil.

You ain't touching
my stacks, bro.

Really?

"In case of threat of
violence or act of terror,

please do not challenge
or defy assailants.

Comply with their
demands at all times."

Did you read that in the
manual or something?

No.

Well, yes, but... who cares?

It gives me everything I need
to keep the hotel in order,

- no matter what.
- This lady just shit her pants.

Is that in the manual too?

I... I did... I did
not shit my pants.

I just want to make that clear.

Are you calling me a liar?

No, I'm saying you're very smart and
you're picking up on something.

Maybe someone... someone
did shit their pants.

And I'm not gonna say who.

- But someone.
- Get her out of here.

- Yeah, get her out of here. Damn it.
- Get you out of here.

Oh, it's dripping.

And now it hit my anklet.

And my toe ring.

We are locked down, boss.

And I'm very close to accessing
the offshore accounts.

I know, I know.

"Close only counts in
horseshoes and hand grenades."

I wasn't gonna say that.

The phones are dead.

No Internet either.
No Wi-Fi, no DSL.

Jesus, this guy has so many tabs open.
It's stressing me the fuck out.

Guys, they cut the lines.

It's what they do.

It's... what I'd do.

Hey, stop talking cool. Okay?

Clear.

Oh, my God. There's two
guys out there with guns.

- They're coming this way.
- That's it. I'm done.

Wait, what are you...
What's with the pockets?

- I'm showing them I'm unarmed.
- Shut up.

We can think of something.
We can take 'em.

Darren, just think of something.

I can't. I got nothing, man.

- I...
- Fine.

- What are you...
- I got an idea.

I haven't done this
in a long time.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Whoa!

What the fuck?

Look at this freaky fuck.

Hey, Rich, come in here.
You gotta see this.

Jesus.

Rest in peace, you
horny bastard.

What's your problem?

I just don't like the
way this job is going.

- Everything's falling apart.
- Ah. Hey, hey, hey.

By this time tomorrow,
we'll be sitting poolside

sipping Coronas in Cabo, right?

I just don't wanna see
you getting hurt.

You're sweet.

I love you.

I love you too.

- Yeah.
- Real quick.

Okay, yeah.

Ew, right?

- Stop!
- Sorry. Hey.

Hmm?

You go around, grab the
corner of the sheet...

Psst!

Hit 'em with the lamp!

Wha...

Oh, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.

Are you all right?

Rich? Rich?

- Ow.
- Uh...

Oh! Freeze! Shit.

You just killed the
man of my dreams.

- Now you're gonna die.
- No, no.

He's just knocked out. Like the movie
Friday. "He got knocked the fuck out!"

I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I killed him.

I'll be your boyfriend.

I didn't do it.

Baby Dunc, are you okay?

I think you killed him.

Sorry I didn't help,

but I got punched in the
chest really hard one time.

We killed the bad guys.
My plan worked!

What... hey, stop it!

Your plan didn't work.
You got them horny

and got me 300
kicked in the chest.

- Are you all right?
- I'm fine!

We got these bitches right
where we want them.

- Now we gotta just go through their shit.
- Alexxx, no! No!

Leave their stuff alone.
You're gonna make them madder.

Baby Dunc, what are you talking about?
This is video games 101.

- You kill bad guys, you take their shit.
- It's true.

Like you never
played video games.

- Go close the fucking door.
- Okay, yeah.

We got zip ties.

We got a fucking gun.
We got a big-ass knife.

By the way, I get next kill. You
guys are being total kill hogs...

- What did you do?
- Okay, and that is where the trigger is.

- Oh, my God.
- Now we know that.

I'm gonna go put on pants, so...

Oh, yeah, no. Good
call, good call,

you're gonna wanna be fully clothed when
you fucking blow your head off, man!

Why are you getting
dressed in the closet?

We've already seen your
dick, balls, and butthole.

- You guys saw my butthole?
- A lot.

- I haven't shaved in months.
- Okay, this is it.

I'm stressing out. Alexxx, get back
here and sell me salvia right now, man!

Yeah, Darren, I'm not gonna
sell you salvia right now

'cause we're kind of under
attack from terrorists.

Every time you open that, I see your dick.
We need to get outta here.

We need to get away from bad people.
We need to get help from good people.

If you wanna bail on the Bey and the
Skintendo Joysuit to go get help,

fine, we can do that.

But we gotta do it
in a badass fashion,

or we're gonna look like
total fucking pussies.

We are pussies!

- We don't have to look like it, Baby Dunc!
- Don't call me that.

Darren, think of something
dope and badass to get us out.

- What?
- Baby Dunc, implement the thing

that Darren's about to think of.
Go.

I'm not coming up
with the plan, okay?

- Shit! I thought of something.
- What?

Is it something I can build?

- Yeah.
- Fuck.

Why do I have to be so
goddamn industrious?

Hey, guys? If you guys
thought my dick was small,

it's 'cause the AC was
really blasting earlier.

So that's the reason.

- It's super hot, right?
- It's very hot.

Alexxx, I...

you've got nothing
to be ashamed of.

If you... don't pull too much on this
one, 'cause then this one gets pulled.

What the fuck, man?

Eagle Eye has been
watching you, Bey Awadi.

The... the U.S. militia faction?
What do they want with him?

Sometimes the government's
politically correct hands

get tied in knots, forcing
people to protect their lands

from unwanted invasions.

"Invasions."

I'm not a fuckin' invader, bro.

I love America. I went
to Florida State.

Peep the bill, bro.

I'm here to have fun, fuck,

drink, pop Molly.

What's more American
than that, bro?

Money.

Five hundred million dollars
transferred into an offshore account.

Five hundred million? You are crazy, Mr.
Albino Bad Guy.

That's not gonna happen.

He doesn't have that
kind of cash flow.

I-it's all tied up in
assets, uh, bonds...

Does this free up
some of those assets?

I get it.

This is a prank. It's just
kind of dark, man, like...

Knoxville, you can come out now!

No! Steve-O! Steve, you okay?

- Come on, man. We told you we can't.
- Th-th-there is a way.

Oh, dear.

An account a-access code. Only,
uh, he and his father have it.

What the fuck are you doing?

He's playing nice.

Now it's your turn.

I can't, okay? If... if
I give you those codes,

- my dad'll kill me, a'ight?
- What's its name?

Wh... what?

The dog.

The dog?

- Mm.
- Lil Puma.

Little Puma. Hi, pal.

Oh, that's a good boy.

Come to Uncle Conrad.

We have a couple of those
extra breach sensors.

Get them with a
corresponding collar.

Be careful with his hip
dysplasia, please.

Of course, of course. You know,
I love dogs. Big dogs, usually.

Little dogs not
much, but this one

has a great personality.

No, no, no. What...
what are you doing?

There you go, Lil Puma.
Go get it, boy.

- Oh, thank you very much.
- Don't do it.

Puma, stay. Stay, Puma.

No!

Why is this thing beeping?

Oh, shit!

I must have given you the nine...
which was upside down.

That is my bad.

The lesson still stands.

The account numbers, or there
will be more bloodshed.

Do it, Bey Awadi.

Okay. Okay, clear. Go.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Zip-tie zip line. Baby
Dunc, you genius.

Uh, it was my idea. You know,
I saw the scaffolding.

I said, "Home
Alone-style zip line."

- Okay, it's fine. Good work.
- Thanks.

Okay. Are you ready to be Tom Brady?
Because that's what's about to go down.

You're gonna become
Tom Brady, Alexxx.

- Fuckin' Tom Brady, dog.
- Yes.

- Yeah, you're Tom Brady.
- Tom Brady, dog!

Yeah, you're Tom Brady.

Shh.

Here we go.

I'm Tom Brady!

- Tom Brady!
- ♪ We the Brady Bunch ♪

- ♪ We the Brady Bunch ♪ - The what?
What? Brady Bunch?

Do you think Tom Brady
is in The Brady Bunch?

Yeah, it's the dad, right?

- No.
- No, he isn't.

Oh, I thought that's who we...

He was cool, though. He was really cool.
He had a hell of a... arm.

Okay, why don't you just show
us how my zip line works, Joel?

- Yeah.
- Right, right. Um...

Okay, so basically, I rigged
up this ironing board,

- like a harness.
- Right.

And then you kind of use it
like a hang glider. Okay...

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Kevin McCallister
would be proud.

Maybe even Tom Brady.

- Don't talk about Tom Brady.
- Who's he?

- Just don't talk about him.
- All right.

Quarterback.

Here's what we're gonna do.

We are gonna shoot rock, paper,
scissors to find out who goes first.

Okay, but no "two out
of three" bullshit.

- Whoever wins wins.
- Right.

- Fair and square, right? Okay.
- Yes, yeah.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

- Yes.
- Fuck!

- Thank God.
- Fuck!

Let's go again. Two out of three.
Let's be fair.

- What? You just said...
- No, do not do this, okay?

It could've happened to any
of us, just happened to you.

Yeah, maybe, or maybe hella
long ago, you guys were like,

"If we ever do rock, paper, scissors
with Alexxx, we should shoot paper."

Because two guys shooting
paper, that's suspect.

- I can't...
- Yeah.

Okay, just forget it.
Let's shoot again.

- What? No.
- Yes, thank you, Baby Dunc.

- How about, don't be a sore loser?
- Don't call me a loser.

Hey, guys, stop fighting.

We'll make a dummy
and do a test run.

- We have a dummy right here.
- No, we'll just use one of the dead bo...

Oh, my God!

Oh, God!

A little help.

Help!

Oh, fuck.

Hey, give me half
your Which Wich.

Well, if I wanted to
eat a half a sandwich,

I'd have brought half
a sandwich, Chet.

Think you're pretty smart, huh?

You the one installing
a seven-layer firewall

to mask a $1/2-billion transaction
at the world's third-largest bank

using only your wife's
tablet, or is that me?

Oh, that's right. It's me.

- Way to go, Baby Dunc.
- Huh?

What? You... This is your plan!

No, I said, "Home
Alone-style zip line."

This is Home Alone 3 at best.

We were supposed to look cool as
shit coming out of the window,

doing a badass exit.

Now we look like a bunch
of losers hanging up here.

Oh, God.

- What the fuck?
- The police!

Hey, we're up here!

Thank you so much.
Thank you, God.

Police! Yeah! Holla! Hooty-hoo!

- Oh! Oh, shit.
- What the fuck?

- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing up there?

There are people in
the hotel with guns!

- No!
- Shooting people!

- You're all fuckin' pigs!
- Get us down!

Fuck you, copper!

They're here to help us.

We're not gonna look cool as
shit getting saved by the LAPD.

Do you even listen
to Kendrick Lamar?

Are there people up
there with guns or not?

Yes, there are! That
is one right there!

He is a man with a gun. He
tried to cut off our dicks.

Oh, fuck you. You wish
I touched your dick.

We're coming up there.
What room number is that?

- Nine seventeen!
- We're coming up there now!

Don't fucking move.

LAPD. Open the door.

Are you aware you've
got three waiters

hanging outside the
ninth-floor window?

Sir, walking away from
a cop is a bad idea.

I will arrest you for obstruction.
Open the fucking door!

Shit.

Officer down! Officer down!

Hank, I need backup!

I got you, Danny. I'm calling for backup.
I'm coming right now.

- Stay there!
- No! No, no, no!

- Don't leave us up here.
- Guys, it's too late. Okay?

Let's wiggle our
asses back in there,

kill some bad guys, and get
our fucking check back.

I'm not risking my
life for the check.

Why not? It's our dreams, right?

No! The check is your dream. My
dream is just working on Skintendo.

But now you can!

And we are! Okay? We have been!

- Baby Dunc...
- Without you!

Oh, what the fuck?

Band-Aids and butter beans!
We're online.

Conrad, we're online.
Awaiting an access code.

Speak clearly.

And speak quickly.

Fuck. Fuck!

Fifty-three...

Twenty-two...

Zero two...

Zero two...

- Thirty-three...
- Thirty-three...

- Sixty-nine.
- Six-nine.

I want verbal confirmation
from you, Darren.

Are you working on the
fucking game without me?

Affirmative.

You motherfuckers!

I'm gonna wiggle us back in
there, you backstabbing bitches!

Sixty-nine, 420, 69.

- I'm serious!
- Sixty-nine, 69, 69.

Oh, shit!

What the fuck?

Conrad, hold on.

Shit.

We've had a breach.

Oh, God.

Sixth floor, security room.

What do you mean? Who...
who is it?

Who the fuck are you? Huh?

Huh? You SWAT?

Are you SEALs?

Transporters?

Answer me right the fuck now, or
I'll plug you in three seconds.

Uh...

- One...
- No.

Please.

- Two...
- Please.

- No!
- No, no. Wait, wait, wait...

Three!

Oh, fuck.

Oh... oh, my God.

I'm a genius! I
wiggled us back in.

Whoo!

Donald, kill them and
then enter the code.

You do have the code,
right, Donald?

Donald?

Donald?

There's a cop at the lobby door.
We shot him.

But he got away.

Why are you looking
at me like that, huh?

You're the sneaky fucks.

The backstabbers, the
betrayers, the Judas...

Judases? Judas?

The one that betrayed Jesus?
Judas, right?

Yeah, you're the
fucking Judases.

Let's stop with the
name-calling, guys.

- Backstabbers.
- Great.

Okay, guys, new rule:
always double-check

that dead bad guys are
actually dead bad guys.

Holy shit!

This is a dead bad guy!

I don't know, I feel like my dead bad guy
is way worse than your dead bad guy.

"My dead bad"? That's
not your dead bad guy.

These are just dead bad guys.

Looks like a human-sized
ketchup packet exploded.

- Damn it.
- What?

Computer's busted. I
can't get online.

Yeah, he is full-on spaghetti
and meat sauce down here.

- Guys. I found a phone.
- What?

Wait a second.

Why does the dead bad guy
have this dude's number?

- Who?
- What are you, a fucking owl?

Yeah, I would love to
be an owl, Darren.

So I could soar off into the
night hella majestically.

Wait, you have a phone? You
have to call for help.

Shh. No.

I think he just screened me.

He screened the dead guy.
Don't take it personally.

Shut up. Voicemail.

Hey, this is Darren and Joel.

Yeah, I'm here too, so...

And Alexxx. The, uh... the
Dew'd Crew from the roof.

- Remember?
- Say "Skintendo."

We are calling to find
out what's going on.

There's, like... people
shooting and stuff.

Please give me a call back at this number,
uh, when it's a good time for you.

Okay, give me the phone.

- We'll talk then.
- It's not a conference call.

We're not waiting for
him to call back.

You didn't even bring up the
two most important things:

the Bey and, I don't know,
how about the fucking check?

- Come on.
- The check.

Mention a dead body.
That'd be nice.

Been a while since
I've left a voicemail.

I'm gonna call him back, so...

It's rude to just call right back.
You leave a message,

- let them call you back.
- Darren...

Ahmad, you dumb fuck. You
gotta call somebody, yo.

- Fuck the police. Except for right now.
- You're gonna get us killed.

You didn't turn it in. You're
putting everyone's lives at risk.

I'm sorry, is there something
we should be discussing?

No.

Hold up.

Why aren't you taking his phone?

No, I don't see any phone.

Um, you guys just
be quiet over here.

Your fucking creepy blue eyes
don't see the phone lighting up

in his pocket right there?

Also, it's making a noise.
It's going, "vuh, voo, vuh."

It's over!

Cut me free. Now!

Wait, wait, wait. Hey...
this is not my fault.

Erma derailed the entire operation
the moment she got here.

And has anyone
noticed her accent?

The German accent? It's fake!
She grew up in Pacoima!

Come on. She's a lunatic!

Is this true, Erma?

Yeah, I'm a lunatic.

No, no, no. No. Give me...

- Give me the gun.
- Gladly. See, told you.

- I mean, what was I supposed to do?
- Right.

Kill her. Like this.

Lovely.

Honestly, did not know
I was gonna do that.

This whole thing was you?

Mm, giving orders the whole time

from the... "dusty-ass
BlackBerry" in my pocket.

Physical keyboards aren't
so stupid now, are they?

Nah, they're still dumb as fuck,

and you still got atrocious-ass
halitosis, but I'm surprised.

Yeah, well, at least my breath doesn't
smell like old-ass hyena pussy.

Oh, God.

- Hello, Donald, you cheeky sausage.
- What?

No, I think that
Donald guy's dead.

He either was sucked
out of a window,

or he choked on a computer.
So what's going on up there?

- Speakerphone.
- Who is this?

- Speaker.
- I'm going on speakerphone.

- Dew'd Crew here.
- Hey.

Lumber Jacks...

- What? Uh, hi?
- How's the Bey doing?

Wait, why do you have
this guy's number?

Wait, are you a bad guy too?

Well, I suppose so, yes.

But, um, you have just forced me
to become... unmistakably evil.

Oh, fuck.

I'll take the access codes now.

Nah.

Sorry, motherfucker. Can't do it.
That dude? I didn't know him.

Shit, he might've let me live
if I gave him the codes.

But you? Fuck you.

I know if I give you
the codes, I'm dead.

And I know why.

'Cause I made you eat
that hooker's booty

at my birthday party, isn't it?

This motherfucker ate a hooker's booty.
You had crabs in your teeth for a week.

Remember shoving your face

right up in that crab-infested
booty hole, bro?

'Cause I do, you fucking loser.

You dumb fucking fuck-hole.

- You fucking suck.
- Very well.

I'll acquire my
compensation another way.

And while I wait to
get paid, I'll...

torture you. And kill you.

Erma! We are sending a video to
the United States government.

Oh! Also... bring me Shaggy.

What the hell's going on?

The fucking butler?

Hey, guys, check it out.

Whoa.

Pigs brought the whole farm.

- Yeah.
- Turn on the news.

Turn on the news.

Okay.

Steve-O!

- There, there, there.
- Steve-O!

Give me that mic.
Give me that mic!

Steve-O, if you can hear
me in the spirit world...

I love you, brother.

It should've been you!
It should've been you.

You. And Channel 8.

Uh, okay, I'm... I'm just being
told we've received a video

from the terrorists.

Warning: what you're about to see may
not be suitable for younger viewers.

Good evening.

As you probably know, I've taken control
of the Level Hotel, Los Angeles.

I had intentions of
only taking money

from a disrespectful and
arrogant billionaire child...

but that was derailed by
some idiotic waiters.

Are we the idiotics?

No, stupid. We're maids.

So now I'm holding 106 hostages
until I receive $500 million

and a helicopter, which I
will fly out of the U.S.

and release... the
remaining hostages.

Oh, I should add: any breach of
this building will trigger...

an explosive collar,

creating a mess no one
wants to clean up.

Additionally, I will kill one
hostage every 15 minutes

to ensure prompt payment,
starting... now.

Oh, shit. That's hot.

Bro... listen, man, listen.
We brothers. We brothers.

We're supposed to
be brothers, man!

- I could get you
Stacey Dash's number.

Oh, shit!

No, no, no, no. What?

As you can see, I'm holding
up my end of the bargain.

I hope you do the same.

And now, on a lighter note,
another must-see TV moment:

a very chill performance...
by Shaggy.

Yeah, uh...

Don't kill Shaggy. I
fuckin' love Shaggy.

- What is happening?
- Don't kill Shaggy. Don't kill Shaggy.

I wanna do this song that I wrote for
the earthquake victims of Haiti.

- Sing "It Wasn't Me"!
- Uh...

Dude, that's not really appropriate for...
for what...

No one wants to hear
that Haiti shit!

Okay? They want "It Wasn't
Me." I want "It Wasn't Me."

Sing "It Wasn't Me."

- Sing it!
- Shaggy, please!

Sing it, Shaggy!

♪ H-honey came in And she
caught me red-handed ♪

♪ Creeping with the
girl next door ♪

♪ Picture this, we
were both butt-naked ♪

♪ Bangin' on the
bathroom floor ♪

♪ How could I forget That I
have given her an extra key? ♪

♪ All this time, she
was standing there ♪

♪ She never took
her eyes off me ♪

♪ How ya fi give the woman
Access to your villa? ♪

Shaggy goes on to finish the song
and is unharmed, as far as we know.

Round everybody up!
We're going inside.

Shag, too soon, but I'm out.

Yeah, yo, by all means.

What's the nearest room
that can accommodate us?

Uh, the conference room.

But, ooh, it's dressed for
a convention tomorrow,

so if you don't mind, I would
appreciate if we just stayed upstairs,

not to mess it up.

- Take everyone to the conference room!
- Okay.

Come on, let's move.

I don't herd cattle.
I'll be hunting waiters.

Bilbo, Dildo, you come with me.

You don't ask for respect, little girl.
You take it.

Move it, ladies. You got legs.
Use 'em.

- Move it, people.
- What the fuck is the holdup?

- Everybody out.
- Keep moving! Let's go!

Come on!

Darren, look.

They're going inside.

So what?

So they're contained.

You can't contain
machine guns, Darren.

How much salvia did you smoke?

Shit, how much more
do you have of that?

I mean, there's a lot here,
but it is covered in glass.

Not the sandwich, your salvia.
How much?

Oh, so now you want my help.

Hmm, sure.

Grab those guns and follow moi.

You got glass. You got
glass in your hair.

I'm flippin' keys.

Well, not yet, actually. I've got
some serious rebranding to do.

Turns out salvia isn't a very sexy drug
and no one likes it except for Darren...

And, weirdly, the
JV softball team.

- Those girls get fuckin' wild.
- Okay, yeah, whatever, man.

- This is perfect. This is great.
- Okay.

Alexxx? Do you live here?

Because it looks
like you live here.

I don't live here. No, you
know who I think lives here?

Josué.

Yeah, the maintenance guy? That guy's...
that guy's a weirdo.

Yeah, like I was saying
about the rebranding...

um, you know, like the Marlboro
man, but this is "Uncle Sal."

Sal-via? Get it?

Dude, there's, like, a "Buffalo Bill went
to Costco" amount of lotion over here.

- Pfft. Hey, the salvia's back here, so...
- Yeah, yeah.

Oh! And what is this?

This is an oil painting
of you on a throne

with money hanging
out of your pockets

and a bunch of tits
hovering around your head.

Seems like he... he's a true
artist for real, but...

that is weird, admittedly.

- Salvia is this way, so...
- Yeah, okay.

So Josué is up here
painting you and...

beating off to a porno parody of your
favorite childhood movie, Flubber?

"Flubbher." That's funny.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Huh.

Fine! Yes, I live here, okay? I jerk
off up here. I paint myself here.

I jerk off while painting myself.
Is that what you wanted to hear?

- Jesus Christ.
- This isn't that bad.

I'm saving up all the money,

so I'm gonna buy a Maybach
in like six years.

I'm an adult homeless man
stuck in a balling-ass body,

but I put my pride aside

and took you to my grow house
to save the fucking day.

- So you're welcome.
- Well, it's a grow closet at best,

but it's definitely enough salvia to
hotbox the whole conference room.

I mean, we can knock them on their
asses, take their weapons, lock them in.

- We could kill 'em.
- No, not kill them.

What do you mean? You
guys already got a kill.

I haven't gotten a kill yet, so it's...
It's kind of fair that I'd get one.

You can have my kill.

I don't want your kill.
I want my own.

Look... I like this plan.

Cool, good. We gotta figure out how to
get the smoke into the conference room.

I'm thinking the maintenance breezeway.
The vents there?

If we can go in the ducts...

No, I don't... I can't.

Figure it out. Look at all this.

- Build something, man.
- I mean,

there's a ton of lotion.

What, we should just jerk the
goons off into submission?

Just build something, man!

This is a trash heap. There's
nothing I can use here.

Yeah, this is all my
belongings, so...

Hold on.

I got it. I got it! I'll draw it up
so you know what I'm talking about.

Oh, the wheels are turning!

All right. So what
do I get to do?

You? Oh, nothing.

You just stay out of the way.
Okay? You've done enough.

On your feet!

On your feet now!

- Ooh, tough guy.
- Shut up.

- Shut up!
- Yeah, you smell bad.

What, did you shit
in your pants?

Shit.

Wow, wow. You think
I'm scared of you

'cause you got a gun in my face?
Fuck off.

Bet you think you're
gonna buy respect

with all that money too, huh?

Well, it bought you respect.

What, you think these people like
you because they follow you online?

You know, half his
followers are bots.

Okay? He's not as
famous as you think.

Yo, point is, I blow
their fucking minds.

All you do is hate and take.

Well, um... why don't we...

"blow their minds" now?

You there. Bring him over here.

I didn't do anything.
What's going on?

Oh, no, no. Jesus... oh, God.

Please don't hurt me.

My intentions are to
do quite the opposite.

Strip his pants. Bend
him over the table.

No. What the fuck?

What...? No.

Oh, Jesus.

Let me up.

You made me eat that...

hooker ass.

Yeah.

Now let's see you
muster any respect

after you toss this
fat fuck's salad.

Whoa, whoa. Ahmad! Ahmad.

Whoa, it's so dark.

Do it, or he's a dead man.

All right, I just wanna
say one thing, dog.

Didn't have to be this way.

Oh!

Stop...

What the fuck? Ooh,
what the fuck?

- Yeah.
- Ooh. Wait... wait, okay.

Whoa. Are you guys seeing this?

Do you see this?
Bey's eating my ass.

I'm getting my salad
tossed by Bey!

Someone 'Gram this!

- Right, enough...
- I'm not done, motherfucker!

All right, stop it! Get him up.
Up. Enough, enough!

Just a little bit longer.

What happened?

You tried to embarrass me?

I done fucked 10,000 women.

You don't think I ate a grip
of dude-booties along the way?

Yeah-yeah!

You may not be able to feel
embarrassment. I get it.

But prepare to feel suffering.

Let's try this again.

Bring me the correct
corresponding breach sensor.

Oh, I-I hope he can swim.
Ah! Oh!

- What...
- Oh, oh, oh.

- What the fuck, man?
- Squat.

Okay.

These. We know what these do.

- No. Ahmad, Ahmad...
- Yeah.

Oh, oh. Oh, is that... yeah.

Lower.

Lower.

Perfect.

Fuck, they got Chet!

How the fuck is that possible?
They're fuckin' waiters.

Weren't you just

a fucking garbageman
a few years ago?

This way.

I don't really appreciate you putting
my résumé in the street like that.

Tell me you were driving

- the fucking truck.
- Fuck you, man.

- That should do it.
- Good.

All right, so we patch
into the air duct.

We hit the switch. We
wait 30, 45 seconds.

Until the bad guys pass out. We
zip tie them, take their guns,

and free the hostages. I know.
It's my plan.

Okay, cool. You can have
a sticker or something.

- What are you doing? Come on.
- Sorry.

All right, pick a gun.

No, no. I am not using a gun.

All right? My brain
is my weapon.

And it is fully loaded, sir.

Okay, fine. Then you
wheel the cart.

What did I say? Please don't
do that, okay? Just...

grab the extension cord.

Let's go.

- You feeling tired yet?
- Fuck you.

You're like the worst
Bond villain ever.

You might as well just
kill me, 'cause...

I ain't gettin' tired.

Well, Lil Puma looks
kind of tuckered out.

Maybe we should put him
out of his misery.

Wowee!

Now, that... that was fun.
Oh, God.

Take respect.

- Don't ask.
- Yeah!

- Take.
- Oh!

Did you see all the fuckin'
blood in that water?

How much blood was in that dog?
It's like a fuckin' bloodhound!

All right, mister!

I think we have all had
just about enough! Right?

Your treatment of our hotel
guest is unacceptable,

not to mention your complete and
utter disregard for hotel property!

And you killed the
little rat puppy!

As acting manager of the Level
Hotel, I am telling you,

this ends now!

Oh, God.

Just... There you are.

That's better.

Look at the time.

It appears the U.S. government
doesn't care about you.

In 60 seconds, someone will die.

But, uh, I think I'm
done with killing.

For a little while,
at least, um...

Don't talk.

- You.
- Oh, shit.

No. Babe.

Do something.
Volunteer as tribute.

- Do something!
- Up.

Do something! Oh, God. Okay.

And...

No way. You.

Cut them free, please.

Step forward.

Now...

fight to the death.

What? No.

I'm sending this... Oh!

To the news next.

- Look, I'm not killing her.
- Okay.

One of you kill the other...
or I shoot you both.

Look, anybody who can see
this, I don't wanna do this!

I am not a murderer!

You got that right!

- Christ.
- Shit, I killed him.

J-Joel...

Now, that's what I
call television.

But let's not do it again.

Bring me my money,
my helicopter.

- Did they put the money together yet?
- Just now.

Tell 'em to get the
chopper up now.

Yes, sir.

Hey, dude. Keep it down.

Hey. Hurry the fuck up.

Okay, do you want me
to be fast or quiet?

'Cause that guy's about
to kill somebody.

Come on, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Come on, come on, move it.

It was just working. Oop.

You're gonna die so
fast compared to me.

Okay. It's ready.

- I got the torch. Need a lighter.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here.

Okay, just hand it to me.
All right.

And, uh, plug in the fan.

- Hurry!
- I'm going to. Where's the extension cord?

Oh, was I supposed
to bring that?

Yeah, I said bring it.

Yeah, well, you also said
you didn't need my help.

Then you cut me out
of the Skintendo.

So, I don't know, I guess I
was just a little confused.

- Alexxx, no.
- Dude.

Please do not be a
complete piece of shit

and tell me you brought
that extension cord.

Mm-mm-mm.

You're playing games because we
wouldn't let you be in charge?

Dude, those people
are counting on us.

Forget it. It's fine. Just... you're
gonna have to build a longer tube,

some kind of conduit.

Just get some more fucking...
grocery bags or...

- Uh...
- No, no, no.

Fuck you.

You are so fucking
selfish, it's disgusting.

I'm serious when I say
this, as maybe a friend,

but you better...
watch your back.

Dude, you watch your back.

- No, dude, behind you!
- Watch your back!

Fuck!

Don't shoot them, you idiot.

They're mine.

Damn it.

Well, well.

Looks like Little Miss Tough Girl
ain't so tough anymore, is she?

We gonna have some fun.

- Split up!
- Split up!

Shit! Go this way!

- No!
- Oh, shit!

What are you doing? Split up!

- Yeah, we did!
- I meant all of us.

I need a minute, man. I got to
take a little trip somewhere.

What? Oh, fuck no.

You're gonna smoke salvia while
we're being hunted by murderers?

That's right. Know why?

'Cause I don't wanna know I'm
being hunted by murderers.

Oh, yeah, suck it down,
you fuckin' sicko.

What about Alexxx, man?
We got to find him.

Shit!

Get ready to be my first kill!

Yeah? Be prepared
to be my millionth.

Yeah, right!

If you'd said nine or ten,

I'd be like, "This guy's a
murderer," but a million?

It's way too many!
That's too many murders!

No!

No!

Oh, God!

I'm gonna fucking kill
you, you son of a bitch.

My bad.

Oh! I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry! I don't want to!

Fuck you!

Follow me.

Great. Back in El
Jizzblaster's room.

- So what now?
- Nothing.

Okay? We're done.

You ruined our best shot
at ending all this.

Fuck you!

Okay, good. You're fired up.

So I won't take that personally.
Now let's use that energy...

Alexxx, take it personally.

We're done following
you around for good.

Whatever. You guys are doing
A-okay without me, right?

Working in secret on
the Skintendo Joysuit?

How long has that
been going on, huh?

Jesus Christ. Years.

I can't believe I followed a
loser like you around for years.

I'm not a loser!

Whoa! Hey! No!

You just shot at me?

I shot near you, bitch.

Okay.

Me too, then.

You son of a...

Guys! Stop.

Shut up, Baby Dunc.

My name is Joel, you idiots!

Oh, shit! Oh!

Oh!

Oh, I wish this were
fucking loaded, dude,

'cause then I would put it there
right through your skull!

Well, if this was loaded, I'd
come sideways on you like ka-kow.

Really? 'Cause it'd come out the other
side, and I'd just suture it up.

Oh, okay, well, then my
gun has a bayonet on it,

and I'd, ugh,
un-suture your face!

Oh, really? Guess what.
I got more sutures.

- Suture, suture, suture.
- What, motherfucker? You spell "suture"!

You spell "suture"!

I'm doing this too.

I wish this were
fuckin' loaded, dude.

This is loaded.

Rich to Mr. Ahmad. I
found those waiters.

We're housekeepers.

Perfect timing. Bring them to the
conference room. I'll kill them next.

Too late. They're already dead.

Oh, good.

Erma got them?

No, me. I'll be up in five.

Mr. Ahmad. There's a
chopper approaching.

You guys look exhausted.

Let's hit the spa.

Move!

I've been waiting for these
pics for a long-ass time now.

Yo, the guys are
gonna love this.

You look motherfucking insane.

Come on, that shit is funny. I know
you got a big-ass dick on your face,

but hey, poo-poo head?

- That's some funny shit right...
- Mm-mm.

I thought that shit was funny.

Okay, okay, okay.
You hate America.

Man, I get that.

Slavery, drones,

they just discontinued the KFC
Double Down out of nowhere,

but, like, come on,
man, we're good guys.

I'm here for the money.

And after this job, Jared and I were
finally gonna get away from it all.

Is that the, uh...
the guy upstairs?

- Yeah, it's the guy upstairs.
- What is that?

What is that?

You don't know what it's like
to lose someone like that.

I do.

I pushed them away myself.

Oh, fuck.

Don't fuck with me, asshole.

I'm just getting started.

Now, you know what? Let's
relax a little bit.

Let's turn these off.

There you go.

Now...

What's next on your spa menu...

Have you guys ever had...

a lava stone massage?

No.

We're maids, man.

We can't even
afford a lava lamp.

Oh, they're fabulous.

Oh, this is gonna feel so good.

For me. It's gonna
really, really hurt you.

No. No, no, no!

- Oh, yeah!
- Fuck!

Let's get out those knots!

- Stop it! Just stop! Stop doing it.
- Stop!

Please. We're sorry we killed
your friend, seriously.

My what?

- My what?
- Your friend.

My friend?

- You sound like my dad!
- Okay.

He wasn't my friend!

He was my everything!

Ow!

Hey, fuckface!

- Alexxx, stop. What are you doing?
- No, no, no, no. Fuck this crybaby.

Oh, why you being such
a fucking cwybaby?

"Ooh, my lover's dead."

You know what you should do?

Take your own dick, shove
it up your own butt,

impregnate it, have a butt baby.

You know what I'd call him?

Jared Jr.

- Hey, fuck you.
- Fuck you.

You just earned
yourself a deep tissue.

This guy and the fucking
puns, am I right?

Oh, my God.

♪ You fucked up You
fucking Nazi whore ♪

♪ Well, you dicked me over ♪

Alexxx, look.

♪ You fucked up ♪

♪ ...you bitch You
really fucked up ♪

Ohh!

Am I dead?

Is he dead?

Ew.

This dude definitely just
shit himself, didn't he?

Yeah.

That was a really good
idea about the oil spill.

Yeah, thanks. I wasn't, uh, sure
what your plan was, but yeah.

Yeah, I didn't really
have a plan, per se.

I mean, it is me,
after all, so...

I just wanted to do something
selfless for you guys for once.

Yeah.

And that's what you bring
to the table, man.

When we're ready to just lay
down and die, you step up.

I would cry if it wasn't such
a bitch-ass thing to do.

So I'm not going to.

- Don't cry.
- Do not cry.

Got this.

But I will let you guys know...

that I fucking love you, dog.

- I really love you.
- Darren, I fucking love you.

Count me in.

What's up?

- And also with you.
- Take it, just take it.

That's fine. I'm okay with you
repressing your emotions for now,

because I understand the type
of upbringing that you've had.

And just know that if we
make it out of here alive,

I wanna see those upgrades.

I wanna be that dude that...

that helps you guys
get your ideas made.

I wanna be the fertilizer.
I am the shit.

And you guys are the little idea seeds
that are gonna be planted within me,

and we are gonna blossom...

and make a little
Skintendo flower.

You know what?

Let's build Skintendo right now.

Don't know what I said. I
sort of was just talking.

Let's do it. Tonight.

But why? For what?

To kill bad guys.

- Fuck yes.
- So what do you say?

Baby Dunc, you ready?

Sorry.

Joel.

- You up for this?
- Yeah.

I can make it happen.

And I think I know how. Oh!

- Just got my baby hairs.
- Sure.

How exactly does this
friend-control mode thing work?

Okay, so you know how the suit can
control the character in the game?

I do, yeah.

Friend-control mode takes that
concept to another level.

But I didn't have any of my material,
so I had to use the electro stim pads

to control his muscles. Unfortunately,
I ran out of stim pads,

so it can pretty much
just walk and spin.

Which is why I loaded the fists
full of those lava stones.

So it's kind of like a, uh,
swinging sledgehammer type thing.

Nice work, Joel.

Sledgehammer spin-punching
robo-zombie.

- Yeah.
- Cool.

And the air fresheners
are because...

- He shit himself earlier.
- Mm-hm.

- So...
- In the spa.

- Little funky.
- Right, okay. Let's see something.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, punching. Oh.

- Ooh, shit!
- Nice.

- It's good.
- Cool.

Okay, uh-oh.

- Give me a shimmy-shimmy.
- We should, uh...

Shake-a-shake-a-shake.

- Dab it on him. Dab it on him.
- Attack?

- Alexxx, let's attack, please.
- Wiggle, wiggle.

Yep, okay, yep.

Nope, nope! No, no, no, no.

- Okay, all right.
- It's just actually...

no, I'm not ready.

I have to tell you
guys something,

and it's been weighing
on me for a long time.

- I am...
- A gay guy.

Yep, we know. Zero to hero, go!

Just don't have time, sorry.

Rich, where have you been?

And what...

what are you... what
are you wearing?

Yo. It's the suit.

Fuck you, bad guys.

Fuck you, bad guys!

♪ Gimme fuel, gimme fire
Gimme that which I desire ♪

Be prepared to meet your
maker, motherfucker!

Fists of fury, bitch!

♪ Yeah... ♪

Yeah! Oh, I spun right...
you saw that.

What do you mean, "we know"?

You've come out to us a hundred times.
It's your drunk thing. Get the guy.

Yeah, the first time was
prom our senior year,

and then a bunch of
times in New Orleans.

Something about Bourbon Street, man.
It brings it out of you, and then...

Then when we got Osama bin
Laden, we all got really drunk,

and you wouldn't shut the fuck
up about how gay you were.

Why didn't you say anything?
This shit weighs heavily on me.

You've never brought it up sober, so
we were kind of waiting for you to...

well, do what you're doing now.

This is the moment, yeah. I
suppose this is the moment.

And by the way,
congrats on coming out.

- This is a big deal.
- Yeah.

- Huge.
- That is huge.

Hey, look, the Skintendo Joysuit's working.
That's awesome.

- Damn right.
- Yeah, I'm actually really surprised

the Dirt Devil batteries
aren't overheating.

♪ Quench my thirst
with gasoline ♪

♪ Gimme fuel, gimme fire
Gimme that which I desire ♪

Oh, God, and that is the Dirt
Devil batteries overheating.

That was fucking dope.

Let's do this.

Well, let's fuck some shit up.

Whoa, Joel, suddenly not
scared of everything.

Yeah. That was when I
was in the closet.

Now I'm the most powerful
thing in the world...

a pissed-off gay dude.

Stay in the back, because
we have guns and you don't.

- Yep.
- Don't need one.

- Ready?
- Let's do this.

Let's do this! Let's
do this shit!

Dew'd Crew!

Bump it, bump it...

Stop shooting, or he's dead.

Yo, butler dude! It's over, man.

I am not a butler!

Yeah, right, and
we're not waiters.

We're not.

- Well, we're waiters.
- We're like... okay.

Look, cops have the place
surrounded, so drop your guns!

Good advice.

Put... your guns... down.

Erma!

- What happened to your face?
- Shut up!

Go get the money.

Let's go!

Excuse me, ma'am.

I do not appreciate the way you've
been trying to kill us tonight.

- I don't think she cares, man.
- Mm.

Erma, have your fun and
get up to the roof.

Alan, grab what you can.

Oh, shit, your boyfriend's leaving. You
should probably roll with him, right?

He is not... my boyfriend!

Okay, you're single.
Cool. What's up?

I... am a trained
killer on a job.

And you...

are in my office.

Uh, Joel, what are you doing? She's
gonna blow your brains out, man.

You... need to apologize.

Okay?

He's gay now.

Oh, shit.

I don't do apologies, faggot.

Ooh, I know you didn't
just call me the F word!

Joel, you haven't even
fucked a dude yet.

Yes, I have.

And in the butt's
better than vagina.

- Way better.
- Chicks have butts too, though.

Oh! Whoa, dude, I just
slapped the shit out of her.

- Yeah, you did.
- That was awesome. Nice, Joel.

- Look out!
- Watch out!

Oh!

This ends now!

- Oh, man!
- Oh, no.

- Get him, Erma!
- Come on, Joel!

Let's go, Joel!

Take that!

- Yeah!
- Little fucker!

Yeah, fuck you, bitch!

You like that? You like picking on
people 'cause they're different?

No, no! Joel!

Right in the numbers.

Yes!

Yes!

- You get outta here.
- Ha!

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Baby Dunc with the slam dunk.

Yes! Tom fucking Brady!

- Not Tom Brady.
- No.

- He plays football, not basketball.
- Slam dunk.

If anyone's Tom Brady,
it's my man Mitch.

- We thought you were dead, dude.
- Mitch, your dick.

Eh, don't worry about it, boys.

We live in Los Angeles.

Eh, I give it eight weeks before me
and the Swamp Thing get reattached,

or regrown, or whatever the hell
they're gonna do to get us back

to fuckin' half this
town, am I right, boy?

Is everybody okay? Huh?

Cassie, huh? You okay?

Yeah, I-I'm a little shaken, but I feel...
Oh, I feel okay.

Hey... that promotion is yours.

- Really?
- You earned it.

- Yes.
- Now put my pecker on ice, huh?

Wow, what a night, boys.

I have been crawling around
this hotel for hours.

- Ooh.
- You know what, Mitch?

- Huh?
- I have a better idea.

How's about I call corporate and
tell them what a disgusting

excuse for a man you are and demand
that you be fired immediately?

No, not because I want
your job or a promotion.

Because I want you to know
that if you behave like a pig,

you deserve to get
stuck like one.

- Wow!
- Sixty-one yards.

New Mexico High School
state record, boy or girl.

I'll make it up.

Let me just get my head together,
and we'll talk about it, all right?

Hey!

Somebody get my dick for me there, huh?
A little help?

- Where's Erma?
- She's gone.

What, you didn't grab any money?

No, I just want...

Get this thing in
the air already.

Okay, but I haven't actually
technically flown this type of...

Alan, helicopter, air, now!

I'm not the one that
shot the pilot!

- Hey!
- Wait!

Why are their pockets inside out?
Why are their pockets inside out?!

We're the waiters from before!

We want to buy the Bey back!

Please, we got all your money, look!
You can have it all!

We just want the Bey!

If I give you the Bey, they
shoot me out of the sky.

We brought an empty bag! The
Bey can just climb inside!

What?

They'll never know that
he left the helicopter,

and you get all your money!

Okay! Hurry!

Goddamn.

Get in. Come on.

Look, I'm saving you, dude.
I'm saving you.

Shut the fuck up.

You fucking asshole!

I will fucking kill you, dog!

- Don't you fucking close that...
- Let's get him out of here.

- All right, you got all the money.
- Right.

Thanks. You're not
gonna regret this.

Let's make sure of that.

Oh!

Jesus.

- Get rid of him.
- Goddamn it.

Alan, let's go.

Open it up!

Come on, open it.

He's alive.

- Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
- Are you okay?

Fuck, that motherfucker shot me!

I can't believe he's getting
away with this shit!

He's not. Watch this shit.

Cassie.

Time to let the dogs out.

Over. You gotta say "over."

Okay, everybody, that's it!
Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go!

Faster!

No.

No!

It worked!

He fucking blew up.

Yes! Oh, man. It's kind
of fun being badass.

Yeah, yeah, it is,
uh, pretty exciting.

- I told you guys.
- You did.

You did, man. I'm
sorry I doubted you.

- Get me to a fucking hospital!
- Yep, okay.

Dumb fucks!

Okay, so, you know,

we'll start working on the
Skintendo Joysuit right away

and then keep you in the loop.

Yeah, and we are going
to need another check.

Yeah.

Our lives are in a pretty
bad place right now,

and that check is gonna
change our lives forever.

Fuck are you talking about? I'm not
writing you guys another check.

Hold on. Wait one second.

Why aren't you gonna... Oh,
he's concussed, right?

He's got something up with his brain?
Is it jiggling around in there?

Bitch, the only reason I wrote
that check was to piss off Ahmad,

'cause that shit made me laugh.

Oh, my tummy.

Get me the fuck up out of here.

Come on.

And play with my balls. Make
sure my dick still works.

I do not get that. He seemed like
such a stand-up guy on the Instagram.

- He's an asshole.
- Piece of shit.

Excuse me. Hey, guys,
um, I'm Mark Cuban.

I'm a friend of the Bey's.
I was up there tonight.

- I saw you guys had that bodysuit thing.
- Yeah.

Holy fuckin' shit!

Oh, yeah, yup, we're
gettin' Shark Tanked.

Mark Cuban wants to buy
the Skintendo Joysuit!

Skintendo Joysuit? That's
what you named it?

- Yeah, I named it.
- Good name, right?

That's bad. No. I'm
definitely not interested.

However, what you just went through
tonight was pretty hard-core.

I'd like to buy your story,
turn it into a video game

starring you guys,

voiced over and visually modeled
after famous actors, of course.

- I call Sean Astin.
- Mark-Paul Gosselaar, please!

Uh, Cara Delevingne.
I don't know.

- Whoever we can get.
- I don't know.

- All right, guys.
- Awesome. Thank you so much.

Oh, he even walks cool.
Sick blanket.

- See you, Marky Cubes.
- Ring-a-ling.

- Sweet.
- That was awesome!

That's funny. Wow.

Announcement! Announcement!
Shut... shut up.

Shut up real quick. I'm
gonna make an announcement.

Hey, look. Now, I know

we are the millionaire video game mavens
that chartered this Costa Rica cruise

for 100 of our closest
friends, yes,

but I wanna congratulate
you guys for having...

the best butt-cheeks
in the business!

You guys are hot as fuck.

And shake 'em if you got 'em!

Whoa!

Dinner bell's ringing.
Come and get it, boys.

- Come and get it, huh?
- Joel, I am so proud of you, dude.

Not a day goes by that I miss

that shy, closeted bitch that
you once were, and I mean that.

- Thanks, man.
- And Darren?

I am beyond thrilled that you are
no longer a controlling asshole

who needs to smoke
salvia just to get by.

Haven't touched the
stuff since that night.

- Good.
- You know that.

Yeah.

Just, uh, doing cocaine now, you know.
But for fun.

It's better for you.

Ah! This is the best, guys.

Look at us. Rich beyond
our wildest dreams.

- Darren doing cocaine for fun.
- Shh.

Joel is, like, fricking wiggling his
dick around, just begging for cock.

Hey, I'm not... I'm
not begging yet.

Oh! Darren, tell Alexxx
about that video game idea.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

New idea, new game:

leprechauns... but they're tall.

Oh, that is a clever twist.

No. Nope. I'm not all about
making money anymore.

You know what I'm about?
Best friends.

Put your hands in.

Dew'd Crew!

Booty bump, a-booty bump!

Yes! We're gonna live forever!

We're never gonna die!

♪ If you'll be my bodyguard ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I can call you Betty ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Now let's get it
all in perspective ♪

♪ For all y'all enjoyment A
song y'all can step with ♪

♪ Y'all appointed me
To bring rap justice ♪

♪ But I ain't five-O Y'all
know it's Nas, yo ♪

♪ Grey Goose and a
whole lot of hydro ♪

♪ Only describe us as
soldier survivors ♪

♪ Stay laced in the best
Well-dressed with finesse ♪

♪ In a white tee,
lookin' for wifey ♪

♪ Thug girl who fly
and talks so nicely ♪

♪ Put her in the coupe So she
can feel the nice breeze ♪

♪ We can drive through
the city No doubt ♪

♪ But don't say my car's topless
Say the titties is out ♪

♪ Newness, here's the anthem ♪

♪ Put your hand up that you shoot
with Count your loot with ♪

♪ Push the pool stick in your new
crib Same hand that you hoop with ♪

♪ Swing around like you stupid ♪

♪ King of the town ♪

♪ Yeah, I been that ♪

♪ You know I click-clack Where
you and your men's at ♪

♪ Do the Smurf, do the
wop, baseball bat ♪

♪ Rooftop like we
bringin' '88 back ♪

♪ They shootin' ♪

♪ Aw, made you look ♪

♪ You a slave To a page
in my rhyme book ♪

♪ Gettin' big money
Playboy, your time's up ♪

♪ Where them gangstas at?
Where them dimes at? ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ Bravehearts ♪

♪ I see niggas runnin' Yo,
my mood is real rude ♪

♪ I lay you out, show
you what steel do ♪

♪ Mobsters don't box
My pump shot obliges ♪

♪ Every invitation To
fight you punk hazas ♪

♪ Like Pun said You ain't
even in mi clasa ♪

♪ Whatever you choose,
whatever you do ♪

♪ Make sure he a thug
And intelligent too ♪

♪ Like a real thoroughbred is ♪

♪ Show me love Let me
feel how the head is ♪

♪ Females who's the sexiest
Is always the nastiest ♪