Original subtitles

30.

- Down. - Oh my God.

Unreal.

Soon as you let your guard down,

something takes advantage of it.

I got to get this stored in a different cache.

Yeah!

Look at that big freaking coney.

I'm all for storing as many fish

as we can possibly get because winter's here.

I can now go out and I can find animal sign.

. No activity at all.

It's going to be OK.

I am going to be OK.

Look how chewed away this half of fish is.

Been taking the risk for the last couple days

that a wolverine or a bear won't come.

I'm not taking the risk anymore.

Right now I'm going to secure this.

There's a little anxiety.

The snow is starting to stick because I don't know

how bad winter is going to be.

Behind, like, that, I think.

But I know I'm staying for it.

I'm not tapping out.

I'd rather die.

Here goes nothing.

Whoa!

Yes!

Oh, [bleep].

This is the harshest location possible.

We're 125 miles in the Arctic Circle.

Ah!

Never had an environment make me feel like

like a complete amateur before.

Everything is against us out here.

Mother Nature went and bitch slapped me.

Looks like I've got grizzlies and wolves as my neighbors.

Holy crap.

They're just hunting the shoreline.

Mother Nature is about to dim the lights on us.

We're heading into total darkness.

Hey, bear.

The cold in the dark is going to sap people's souls.

Really makes you wonder if it's worth it.

There is no camera crew.

There's no support system.

I'm completely alone.

Yeah!

People go in one way...

Stop bleeding.

And they come out entirely different.

Ahh!

This is the most difficult survival

challenge in the world. - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

$500,000.

That's completely life-changing money.

It's beautiful!

Whoever can thrive the longest...

Anything out here ought to be afraid of me.

Whoever can push through it wins.

I hope I made the right choice coming out here.

I'm making a range hood-style smoke flap

in my shelter out of moose skin.

It'll trap and conduct the smoke out the chimney,

making it safe to be in the rest of the house.

Upon my return,

we shall finish this fish juice.

Until then, fare thee well.

Stay safe.

Who are you talking to?

Why, you, sir.

You there in the green cloak.

There's no one here in a green cloak.

It's not green.

Red, then. Whatever.

Doesn't matter when it's on a peasant.

Are you saying peasants don't matter?

Of course, I'm not.

Peasants matter to me a great deal.

I need as many of them as I can get on my estate.

Sir, you are positively

medieval in your manners.

The times are medieval.

Must I not be medieval then?

Bring me a hare or a rabbit.

Sir, there's only hares here.

I don't want the hairs.

I want the meat.

Sir, I mean hare as in

the animal hare.

I've eaten animal hair before,

and it's disgusting. It stuck in my teeth.

Sir, H-A-R-E.

I can spell, peasant.

Get to work or I'll stone you.

My range hood is going for now.

There is smoke in here, but not that bad.

I guess I'm ready to go check the snare line.

First, I've got to hang up my jerky so the mice don't get it.

Last night, I had a piece of jerky.

It was stuffed up in a rafter directly over my head.

And during the night, a mouse climbed up on it

and fell off on my head, and then screwed around

in a panic on my sleeping bag.

Mice are totally out of control right now.

So it's pretty snowy this morning.

It's looking Arctic-y.

And I have some jerky, so just going to eat

this while I go do stuff.

My teeth are so sore from jerky, so very sore.

I think not everybody would have

so many problems chewing on the jerky,

but I've got problematic teeth.

And I could eat four times as much fish right now,

but I'm rationing it because I want it to last.

So if I'm going to stay out here for a long time,

I need fresh meat.

Nothing in the snares.

No fresh tracks.

Crap.

I'm going to just walk for a while.

I can't sit inside the shelter anymore.

I'm almost over here to where I killed the moose.

And it's been a while since the last time I was out here.

I do see something really cool.

I have found some of the moose bones.

That is so cool.

Now I can mess around on some projects.

There's a lot going on in my head.

And the big question that I'm dealing with out here

is, what's next for my family?

We've moved 37 or 38 times since we've been married.

I know it affects my kids, and they've picked

up a lot of stress from it.

They have not had the normal, solid context

of just being in a home and going to school

and growing up that way.

Totally chewed up by wolves or a bear.

And that's why I want to win this,

because I want the money.

I want to build a house, still be

able to do our humanitarian aid work,

which I think is very important for my kids.

If you only have a certain amount of money,

you've got to spend it on one or the other.

But I'd like to have this money

so that I can have a home

to put my family in, so that my children,

when they think of home,

they always have a place to picture.

Got some.

Now, they look kind of gruesome and bad, but I got some.

Ooh, is the sun coming out?

Ooh, the sun is coming out.

I did the hand skin test this morning,

and I am lacking in hydration, for sure.

You know, that's when you pinch your skin on your hand.

And if it goes right back, you're hydrated.

If it doesn't, that means you're dehydrated.

And it just kind of hung out there where I pinched it,

so not good, not good at all.

So I'm going to heat up my broth,

get some hydration in me.

Oh, man.

Stupid how tired I feel just from lack of water.

I wonder how my fellow contestants are doing.

Lock in a little of the heat, how we warm up our soup.

How I warm up my soup.

I don't know why I'm on this we thing.

I guess it's just...

guess I'm just alone.

As hard as I am on myself, I haven't once gone to bed

hungry, and I'm still here.

So I may not be great at what I'm doing,

but I'm stubborn enough to keep trying,

and that's the important thing, and that's

what I need to remember.

OK.

I need to cut firewood.

Got a pain right below my rib.

It's obvious my body is degrading because I

can't feed it properly.

Pain-wise, it's not, like, agonizing,

but it's uncomfortable.

My body is so depleted right now.

I feel the weakest that I've felt in my entire life.

I can ignore the signs of my body if I want something,

and I want to win this so bad.

I'm trying to stay positive, but damn it,

I feel my body weakening and I'm getting scared.

I still have fight in me.

I'm going to keep on fighting.

I'm not done yet, and that's all that matters.

All right.

Woke up and got hungry a little bit,

so I'm digging in my stash right now.

And I realized how kind of insane this is.

I have a fish head on my bed, and I'm just cutting at it

like it's a normal thing.

It should be good.

All right, let's cook it.

If you ain't keeping white fish heads

and burbot heads at the foot of your bed that y'all can cut

into on a whim when you get a midnight snack craving,

then you ain't even living yet.

Come on.

"Alone," you are something else, man.

What have you done to me?

You know, I'm very tempted to go peek at that gill net.

I mean, I don't know what time it is,

but I think I'm going to strap on a camera

and go right now

because there could be a damn fish in there.

I think these fish come in there,

and they're in there, like, all night, twisting and turning.

And then I sometimes lose some because

I don't check it often enough.

I'm hearing wolves howling over here.

They're not that far this way.

That's kind of spooky.

Hopefully, those wolves don't come

through here tonight and get too worried

about all my damn fish.

Out here, it's like one day at a time, man.

And if you can grind through, then eventually,

you'll make it to the end.

And that's what I did in school.

Boy.

Yeah, this thing's going to be iced up tomorrow.

School was hell.

The fact that I finished high school

was amazing because I wanted to quit.

I mean, I almost just bailed out.

In fact, I remember a day where I

was going to drive to northern Minnesota

with a canoe on top of my car and just freaking disappear.

Nothing.

What a bummer.

I hope those coneys keep coming.

Man.

And I thought, damn, I can get away from these people

in the wilderness, man.

I can get away from people in general out there.

There's no place for me safer than in the middle

of a deep, dark, nasty forest in the middle of the night

because nobody is going to be out there trying to hurt me.

Sounds like a damn good place to be most of the time.

Clear night out.

Crystal clear.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, dude.

I was going to look at the stars,

and I have my glasses in my pocket.

That part that was cracked right there, and now...

now they're really screwed.

I've got to go fix my glasses now because I sure

can't hunt without glasses.

Damn.

Going pretty bonkers tonight.

Hunting mice.

The nights are getting so much longer,

but I sleep less and less.

It's just, laying still for that long,

your kidneys start to hurt.

Your lower back can start to hurt.

He may not come back out.

He's going to stay back behind the firewood

where I can't shoot him.

But I mean, I'm not tapping out because of pain.

That'll never happen.

Run around, little mousey.

I ate fish, so now it's time to remake

my glasses out of willow.

I want to try heating up this paracord

and then dripping the burning dots

along the edge of the lenses to try to seal

them in there that way.

It'll be like welding it.

Yeah, that's strong.

And then I've got to attach the arms.

We've got glasses again.

Ehhhhh.

Most nights, I'm thinking too many things at once,

and I come up with actually a lot of good ideas.

Well... yeah, so.

Ahh.

Oh, man.

I've been up for hours.

My left kidney is freaking screaming at me.

Hurts so bad, no matter what position I get in.

I don't know what's going on, but oh my God, it hurts.

It's like there's just a knife just, like, plunged into it.

I just don't want to cause long-term damage, you know?

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

It's horrible.

Oh, [bleep].

Last night, I was up all night long with what

I suspect is kidney pain.

It feels like it's work to hold my body upright.

My core is, like... .

That's weird.

Oh, come on, core.

Get strong.

We can do this.

I'm going to go take a bird walk.

Hopefully, like, find a bird and maybe,

like, be able to shoot a bird.

I've never in my life had pain like this.

It's like a knife is being stuck into my kidney.

Oh, where are you, little game birds?

Fly up, little birdies.

Let me see you.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Think I'll keep walking.

The pain is so bad, my brain is spinning.

Ooh, [bleep].

Did I not boil water?

Did I eat something I shouldn't have?

You know, what is happening that I

have this agony inside of me?

Oh, come on, body.

I need you to hang on.

I might be causing serious damage if I don't get help.

Oh my God.

This sucks.

It [bleep] hurts.

This is harder than I thought it was going to be.

It's the right decision, even if it hurts.

It's the right decision.

This is Sarah, and I am officially tapping out today.

I was having some what I thought was

a muscular pain in my back.

But last night, I realized it wasn't muscular.

It was more kidney-related.

I'm normally a suck it up and ignore the medical issue

kind of person, but I made a promise to my husband

that I would tap out one day before I

break physically or mentally.

And I can't afford to have organ issues.

That would be breaking, and I'm going to keep this promise.

It's extremely hard to leave here.

My spirit says I can keep fighting.

I just don't think my body can.

This has been the most challenging thing

I've ever done, challenging physically,

mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

But I feel like there's a certain

inner strength I found.

You know, I was out here for 42 days,

and that's an accomplishment.

You can't do that if you don't have any skills.

I slayed some demons out here.

The voice that has been following me around

and screaming in my ears about not ever being good enough,

you know, to have that down to a whisper

is an amazing, amazing thing when it's been yelling

in my head for my entire life.

I truly feel like I'm walking out a better person,

and not just for me, but for everybody

around me, especially my daughter and granddaughter.

I'm excited to go and lift them up.

It's not just about lifting myself up anymore.

I'm thinking bigger picture.

I am starting to see that I am a beautiful person,

and I am worthy.

I wish it was constant, but I'm learning.

I may not be all the way there but definitely getting closer.

There's an old saying, you know?

Take what you need and use what you take.

And you know, if you're going to survive off the land,

you've got to respect the land.

And you know, don't abuse it, and the land

will always provide for you.

Always.

Well, well, well.

Yeah.

A hind beaver foot.

Take the whole pile.

That's going to be much.

Food cache, just wish we had more to cache here.

That'd be an ideal situation.

Yes, sir.

I don't want to eat all the beaver right now because just

trying to extend my food supply right now

is the biggest challenge.

This beaver's much smaller than I want.

It's a little papoose, but I'm not seeing anything else,

and it's all I've got at the moment.

I'm just waiting for that ice to get safe enough to walk on

so I could get more fish.

I've got a feeling.

Probably be a couple days.

All right.

Here we are.

See what we've got here.

Oh my gosh.

See?

Look at all that luscious fat.

That's just from the paw alone.

There's only three sayings that I really do believe in.

Pain is only weakness leaving the body,

when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

That's all that's left, these little claws.

A fantastic dinner.

Yes, sir.

Looks like the start of a good day.

The first order of business, as always,

have a look at the snares.

Nothing here and nothing there.

Have a little peep down here.

Next stop, food cache.

It's time to rock up to my food cache

and enjoy some delicious beaver meat.

I've got nothing else to eat anyway,

so I've got no other choice.

All around my cache setup here.

I'm not going to take it all at the moment.

I'll just take so much to guarantee

that I keep moving forward.

Some of these rocks are heavy.

I'm not seeing my beaver meat.

No way.

This has got to be a trick.

There's no way anything can get in there.

That's got to be a trick.

There's no effing way.

There's no way.

I'm sick to my stomach.

I find that hard to believe.

I don't believe it.

I hardly see it proper.

I'm not kidding you.

I am not kidding you.

It's all gone.

Holy [bleep].

It can't be.

Even the tail is gone, the little tail.

Not a sign of anything.

I'm in a critical state.

This is probably the worst state

I've been in since I got here.

Not a freaking thing.

The only safe place I had left.

I'm completely out of food.

And now looks like I might even have to fast.

It's freaking devastating.

Here goes for a project.

I'm making gorge hooks, fish,

from rib bones.

I'm going to try to bust it up.

Let's see if I can get edge bits like this.

Gorge hooks are basically like a big splinter,

and they go inside the bait straight ways,

and the fish swallows it.

And then the sharp point catches in the fish's throat,

and they turn sideways.

I'm excited about this one, really excited about this one.

I hope it works.

You guys know how many hooks I have left?

Four steel hooks.

Four.

If these work, there's no limit to the fishing I can do.

This one's different.

I'm going to make this one in a crescent moon design.

This is cool.

Here's our half-moon shape, crescent moon shape

with a hole in the middle.

The wire leader's going to go to that,

and then it's got two really sharp ends there.

We'll deploy these tonight.

Man, I hope these work.

But right now, I'm ready to go check the snare line.

Well, I'm just out on my snare line, chewing on jerky.

All right.

I had five snares set up in here.

My thoughts are always running along the lines of,

how long will this season go?

And that's why I need to stock up on as much food as I can.

OK.

I see one empty snare.

When I first heard where it was going to be,

it's all scary.

Ooh!

Deep Arctic!

And I'm like, this could be a short season.

Two empty snare.

Well, I'm convinced that it's going to be the opposite.

I think it's going to be a long season.

I think it's going to easily go past 70 days.

Three empty snare.

There's tough people on this season.

William is tough.

Jake is tough.

And I think Dub is ridiculously tough.

I bet you that dude sticks in a long time.

So I'm going to keep pressing through this and do my best.

Gonna check a snare up in here.

I've got one back in this brush.

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh.

Guys, almost last snare.

I've got a hare, but it's still alive.

I've got to get a stick and get over there.

All right, buddy.

Yeah, OK.

Come on.

Awesome!

I got one!

I got food for today.

And that's a big one too.

That's a big hare.

So grateful.

Getting this hare really encourages me because it

directly affects my longevity.

If I were only eating hare, I would

be concerned because you can starve

to death eating lean meat.

There we go.

I'm going to skin its head and eat it.

It's called protein starvation.

Your body needs the oils and the fats

more out here in this cold weather

especially than it needs all the protein from that meat.

But the great fact is that I have this moose lard,

and I think that will be a good balance

to keep me with enough fat to process

the proteins from the hare.

And I think that way, I could have a ton of longevity.

So as I was holding it, you could hear its heartbeat...

pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap... slow down.

To me, that's a big moment because life is

so precious, like every life.

I just honor life right now.

Life is special.

Life is very special.

And I'm alive.

I'm alive in the Arctic.

And I've still got it.

I'm still dangerous.

I'm still good to go.

Because of the hare, I'm filled with a most comfortable

feeling at this moment.

But I've worked in a lot of different countries,

and I realized how many people live in fear, you know?

So many of you,

you know that I'm a humanitarian aid worker,

but I guess I've never taken the time

to explain exactly what that is and what that means.

Like, here's my motivation.

When I was a kid, I grew up in a lot of fear.

There was a lot of things I was told about, you know,

the government.

I remember going to bed every night

thinking that SWAT team would steal all of us

kids away in the middle of the night.

And then one of my great fears was realized.

My brother, who I was super close with...

we did everything together...

he was shot by a gang while he was delivering pizza

one night to pay for college.

He lived.

But I remember standing on the street corner the next morning,

seeing where he'd been shot, and there was so much blood

on the street, like buckets of blood.

And I sensed the end of life right there.

I sensed that it's meaningless unless there's something

more than fear to live in.

So a chance came up to go on a missions trip

through my church.

We went to Ukraine, and there were orphanages.

And all the folks from the church

were doing their programs, and I was there,

and I would help out.

But I began to see something take place there in a way

I'd never seen before.

I began to see people loving others

less fortunate than themselves.

Those orphans were living in fear, and as people loved them,

the fear went away.

And I knew there was something there that I had to pursue

with everything I had.

And God found me there.

So I go to places, war zones sometimes,

countries where people don't have as much.

People judge me all the time.

They think it's... they think I do shady

stuff in other countries.

No.

I just can't talk about everything that we do.

Because in some countries, you wouldn't believe it,

but it's illegal to help.

I want to see fear go away from somebody's eyes

like it went away from mine when love found me.

So now you know Timber a little better.

That's me in a nutshell.

I'm telling you, to lose that beaver meat is devastating.

But it's not the trouble that'll get you.

And that's out here too.

It's not trouble.

It's how you deal with trouble.

It's how you handle trouble is going to make a big difference.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going,

and that's true, you know?

You've got to... that's just it.

You've got to... just got to go.

So all is good.

Never cry over spilled milk.

The beaver's gone.

I think my best option right now...

First order of business, I'm making

an ice ladder to get out to the heavier ice in the center.

Look at that.

Whoo-hoo!

Get some fish back on the menu, boy.

This is quite risky.

I don't know how thick the ice is, but...

I've got to do whatever I can

to get fish quick because I can't fast for too many days.

I'm in a critical state, and this is my best chance

to get some oily, greasy food.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

This would be a blessing.

Oh my God.

Isn't that lucky?

Oh my God.

Oh!

Oh, that is so lucky.

I'm going to go over and cook him now pretty soon.

I feel blessed.

I really do.

You would never, ever, ever... you

can't beat the smile off my face with a hammer

here right now.

This is a fantastic day.

Whoo!

And now I'm going to have a fantastic meal.

Thank you, Lord.

Oh, it's time of need again.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm going to do the happy dance this time.

Yeah! I'm going to.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh my God.

Officially out of food.

Like, I was out.

I was completely out.

I mean, the beaver, that was...

that was the plan.

And when you go up and your beaver's gone,

well, there goes the plan.

Now I'm going to drink the water out of my pot.

This is huge.

It can buy me some time so I'll be able to hopefully

get some fish.

Oh, beautiful, beautiful grouse.

Now, I've got to show you this.

All right.

So this right here is the gross crop.

It was in his throat.

People back home in Labrador, you blow it

up and tie the other end over.

And you know, people hang them on their Christmas tree.

They hang them up along their window sills.

See here now?

I'm going to...

You blow it up there and tie it over.

It's much nicer with needles in it.

Is that amazing, or what?

Yeah, look at this.

Good old raw, grouse liver.

Get that down there.

Oh, stomach's going to love that.

Ahh.

Dude, I'm going to puke.

Ooh.

Stop feeling like this, dude.

Oh, [bleep] my life.

All right.

I just opened up my door for the first time in a long time.

And then I've got to tell you guys some stuff

been going on here.

I've been sick, really sick, for three days.

I barely left bed.

I go check my burbot lines, I come back here,

and I go back to bed.

That's all I've done.

And I'll probably do the same thing today.

So going to check the gill net, that sort of thing.

My stomach is feeling pretty rotten.

It's all bubbly.

I had really, really bad diarrhea for three days.

I don't know what I did, if it was food poisoning or what,

but this is physically and mentally draining.

Dude, when I was sick, I have some freaking

reindeer moss hanging on my wall for a long time.

So I boiled it, like, four times,

and then I ate that whole damn pot.

My stomach stopped hurting a bit.

The carbs might have helped, or maybe they

soaked up some of the toxins.

I ate some charcoal.

That might have helped a little bit too.

Who knows?

Just trying to make it through.

Another empty gill net.

Damn, man, these days.

It's freaking rough out here, you guys.

On every "Alone: they say that, but...

they're not kidding, man.

They are not kidding.

This is hell out here.

This is like a damn survival battlefield out here.

You're hungry.

You're tired.

You may not be sleeping at all.

And you're worried every single night

that you're going to have a grizzly bear

come knock your door down.

It is hard.

Just cooking up some sort of fish,

whatever the hell I can find.

I know that burbot is on top.

I'm forcing down food.

I won't stop eating because I'm not going to let

myself get too far gone.

Really cold hands.

I'm worried I'm going to run out of energy.

I've got a long ways to go to win this thing.

Soon as I eat this, I'm going back to bed.

I'm a little upset right now, to be honest,

because I don't know if I could pull through

this unscathed.

Here we go.

Please don't make me sick.

Oh, [bleep].

Wish I hadn't seen that.

Oh, I really wish I hadn't just seen that.

Oh, [bleep] me.

Dude.

.

Oh, [bleep] me.

Right there

is worm inside my burbot fillet.

And...

you know what's crazy is,

I'm thinking about eating the rest of the burbot.

I don't like wasting the best-tasting fish I have

because I found a worm in it when I can just boil the hell

out of it and probably not get sick,

"probably" being a very important word.

Man.

But if I go through another bout of sickness,

then I'm probably gone.

My body can't handle that again.

The day I caught that burbot just

so happened to be the day I started to feel like holy hell.

That's the day I started eating it.

OK.

We're just going to lay off that burbot.

Tell you guys what, man.

The tapping urge

starts really small, and it builds.

It builds on itself until it's all you can think about.

And it will not stop.

I totally get why people tap out

when there's something wrong with their stomachs

on this show.

It's brutal, man.

You can't do anything.

And it only gets worse the further along it gets.

Like, the more you don't get water,

the more you don't get food, the worse your body's getting.

It would be so easy to push the button

and just go home and end it

because this hurts.

And I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

I don't like this feeling, man.

I never thought it would be able to creep

into my consciousness the way that it has.

It had me thinking about tapping so much.

It's like there's one little hole that says, ooh,

you can tap.

And then, like, a finger goes in the hole,

and it tears the hole bigger.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Please, tap, tap, tap, tap.

It all starts pouring through, and then more and more and more

and more, more and more.

And then before you know it, you're surrounded.

Everything is a reason to tap.

I don't know how much more time I got in me, man.

Man, this would be so cool if we have a fish

on these old gorge hooks.

It is cold outside, but it's very warm in here.

Going to show you a couple little

projects that I'm working on.

See, I've got two little boys.

They'll definitely want Daddy to bring them

home something hand-carved, so I'm making

these little furry foxes.

This is a little fox face.

And I've got two little heads finished.

I'm going to cut this one off.

My sons, they've had a hard life.

Because of this humanitarian work,

they've had to say goodbye permanently to many friends

that they've made in various countries.

They accept a lot of what's going on.

These little tails in the holes.

But I want to find a way to live this life

that doesn't hurt them.

My nine-year-old son, Levi, made me promise.

He's like, Daddy, promise you won't

tap out because you miss me.

I said OK.

So that was a fun little project,

and I think they turned out pretty good.

Man, I'm getting skinny.

Good Lord.

Wow.

I'm getting so skinny that it's almost scary.

I'm eating, but I'm still just burning so many

more calories than I'm eating.

How is that possible?

I don't know.

I'm going to go have a look at the fish lines.

Man, I'm hoping some fish bites.

Oh, it looks like the mink is out here.

Yep, there he is.

Ooh, the line has moved.

This fish line has a gorge hook on it,

and it's pulled straight.

I hope like crazy there's a fish on there.

That'd be so cool.

There's something on there.

There's something.

There's something. There's something.

I think it's a fish.

I don't think it's a log.

Oh, yeah.

I got a fish!

I got a fish on a gorge hook!

I got a fish on the gorge hook!

Don't get off! Don't get off!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Guys, I got a fish on a piece of bone,

on a piece of moose bone!

Ha-ha!

Now if you can see, that bone, the wire

is going down his throat, and that bone is sticking

out the side of his throat.

There was no way in the world he was getting off of that.

That's the coolest thing ever.

I just caught this fish on a piece of moose bone.

Rah!

It's been a great day.

I'm happy living out here wild and free

like a wild beast.

When the wind howls like this

and the cold north wind blows in,

it stirs my blood!

I'm thinner than I need to be, but I'm not too thin.

I'm hungrier than I want to be, but I'm not too hungry.

I'm just having a good time.

And that's what my wife told me right before I left.

She said, just have fun.

Get drunk on the wilderness like you like to do.

And I did that today.

Ahh!

This is my north country!

Ha-ha!

Wa-pshh!

Now this is "Alone."

Now it's the real deal.

Now we get cracking.

Ahh!

I don't know what the hell's going on with my gill net

right here.

There's got to be a fish in there, right?

Yeah, there's a fish in there.

Yes!

Probably the last day for this gill net.

Then we'll be ice fishing.

I don't know how big these things are supposed to get,

but that's freaking huge, man.

Oh my God.

Look at the size of that thing.

Count our blessings, man.

We got a big fish today.

That's... at this rate, it's probably, like, a week of food.

It's nice, cleaning fish with the snow.

Man, you finally don't have dirt all over them.

To make it through this, you've got

to be, like, stubborn as hell.

I had a rough childhood.

I got picked on a lot.

But to be frank, I don't think I would change a thing.

If you don't have those hardships and those turmoils,

you could end up weak.

I don't think I turned out weak.

And wouldn't trade any one of those punches

and any one of those insults or remarks for anything.

Yeah, I'm excited.

You know that feeling you get when you're, like...

after you've been sick for a few days and you're recovered

and you just finally feel normal again?

I feel pretty good.

Just throw it in the cooler.

Jeez.

.

A mouse has been eating and defecating...

defecating.

That's the nicest word I've used all day.

Usually I just say all over my fish.

I'm not sure what to do with it.

, man.

Come on, bro.

They got this pike about ruined,

because they've been, like,

inside of it, eating like crazy and just crapping

all over inside of it.

Look at that.

That's all mouse crap in there.

Man, what a nightmare.

This fish here, that pike is...

I can't... I'm not going to eat that pike,

man, because it's probably what got me sick.

That's why I've been sick for a week is because of this,

because of this mouse crap.

I've been eating... I've been eating it.

I'm sure of it.

It's like in it, and it's been...

and it's been in there, seeping into the meat

for days and days.

I just can't.

That's such a bummer.

That was my last pike.

My entire food stash is trashed.

Man, it's like, look at how they've

chewed all right there, all right there,

and then all that dark stuff.

That's all mouse crap.

All that, it's all mouse crap.

Everything.

I mean, how can I eat that?

I mean, I can...

I can cut this tail; that I can save.

I've literally been eating mouse crap that I thought

was dirt, and here I am.

The future of my life is in the hands of a shrew.

That's a day's worth of food, maybe a little more, spared.

Everything, man.

Every piece of freaking food you got out here,

you've got to...

it's hard.

It's hard to keep safe.

Unsavable, all that.

I've got a week of food right there.

Plus, I've got a freaking two weeks

probably on that damn inconnu.

Like, every bit of food I have, I need, man, to make

it to the end of this thing.

Don't know how much I can handle here.

If I wasn't so stubborn, I'd tap right now.

Oh, Jesus, it did move.

Whoa! Oh!

Yeah!

Something making a weird noise with my food cache.

I'm going to go look.

♪ I think it's about time for me to go ♪

. [bleep].