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Gordon: Previously on Gotham...
You can trust me.
We don't work for you and we don't work with you.
Your captain says otherwise.
Gordon: 80 penguin's guys are gonna beat and torture their way through the city.
Get off of him.
You better pray.
I can clean up your mess on this one, Harvey.
- It has to be a trap. - (Muffled screaming)
Hey! Got him!
Oh, no, patel.
Selina: The demonz. They have a chop shop across town.
- Let's hit it. - (Groans)
Barbara: We've got a business to run.
Nygma: I came here with grundy, to make some money
to get me smart again.
I'm looking for the person in charge here.
You're looking at her. Hey, go get the doc.
Fight!
(Groans)
Grundy fight now?
Yes!
Yes! Grundy, Ed's best friend. (Laughs)
Male announcer: And now, the most hated man in Gotham.
The penguin.
(Crowd booing)
(Imitating penguin) I'm so happy to be here.
You love me, I knew you loved me.
(Indistinct shouting)
You don't love me?
You don't love me? You've asked for it.
I'm going to sic my lackeys onto you.
My hoods and the gcpd.
Get 'em, boys.
Get 'em.
You work for penguin. You work for penguin.
Nygma: You gotta do what I want
or they're gonna enter your homes and terrorize your families.
Get 'em.
You do what I say.
Crowd: (Chanting) Grundy! Grundy! Grundy!
Grundy! Grundy!
(Roars)
Now, you leave me alone, you monster.
(Roars)
(Indistinct shouting)
(Choking)
- Stupid lame bird brain. - Crowd: Bird brain!
He'll never learn. You can't mess with the narrows.
(All cheering)
It is time,
for the main event,
a title defense.
No refs, no rules.
Crowd: No rules.
Our challenger, Mr. Murderface.
Yeah!
(Crowd booing)
And our champeen,
straight from the slaughter swamp.
- It's Solomon grundy. - (Crowd cheering)
They really ate it up tonight. (Laughs)
I think they hate penguin almost as much as I do.
You know what, I may or may not find a cure for you
but at the rate you're going you may not have a chance.
What does that mean?
You don't just have these people laughing,
you have them ready for a fight.
So what happens when penguin hears about all this?
Well, let that bird waddle in here, I have grundy.
I'm gonna be fine.
And what about them? Your fans?
Not my problem.
Ed, you put yourself on the front line of something.
You can't just bail when fighting starts.
Okay, doctor, if you would like to stop hiding from your past
and do some leading, you go right ahead.
- It's not what I'm here for. - Well then, case closed.
Neither of us are willing to put our necks out.
(Bell dings)
(Crowd shouting)
(Groans)
(Yells)
Tabitha: Hey, butch.
Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, butch.
Crowd: Oh!
(Crowd cheering)
- (Bones cracking) - (Groaning)
(Crowd gasping)
(Screams)
All: Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!
Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself.
| love this. (Laughs)
I love it!
Congratulations, captain Gordon.
A promotion?
Harvey bullock is captain of Gotham central.
Bullock's lost the rank and file, Jim.
That debacle in the narrows, teaming up with penguin's goons?
Sending cops into the pyg's trap.
You know, he's a disgrace.
What does that make you?
- Excuse me? - Last time I checked,
you signed over the entire gcpd to penguin, wholesale.
What does he think of this?
Well, perhaps I've earned that kind of cynicism, Jim.
But I wanna assure you with hand on heart
that this has nothing to do with Mr. Cobblepot.
- I won't take Harvey's job. - Someone is going to,
and trust me, none of our other candidates share
your misgivings about penguin.
Why don't you just take it with you?
When you decide, all you have to do is sign on the dotted line.
And you'll be the new captain of Gotham central.
Demonz boss: Nobody steals from the demonz, Mr. Penguin.
Why do I pony up for a license if some crook
who can just swoop in and rip off our swag?
Your swag might as well have been a lollipop in a baby's hand.
You admit it. She admits it, Mr. Penguin.
Oswald, what say we resolve this like professionals?
The ladies and I will take out the rest of these so called demonz
and split their goods with you 50/50.
Demonz boss: Uncivilized is what these girls are.
Outside the bounds of a proper criminal society.
- (Whispers) - (Shouts) What?
Repeat that for my guests.
Ed nygma, who owes his life to Mr. Cobblepot's mercy,
is repaying that generosity by aping his benefactor in a crude
commedia Dell'arte.
What?
He's making fun of me in a clown show in the narrows!
(Exhales sharply)
(Laughing)
(Laughing)
(Laughs nervously)
Pretty funny, the riddler's doing a penguin act.
(Chokes)
Penguin: That is not his name.
His name is ed. Plain, dumb, ed.
And you don't know him, so you don't get to laugh.
Well, thank you, oswald, for clearing our account.
Not cleared, babs. The debt you owe him, you now owe me.
Of course, what will it be?
Seeing as you love a good laugh,
I would like you to go to the narrows
and see Ed's act for yourself.
Then I would like you to bundle him up
and bring him back to me by nightfall!
We're not your toadies.
(Laughs) Dear child, what was that you said?
What do we get if we bring you nygma?
Very well.
In exchange, I will not set every criminal in this city after you.
I will not let them cut out your eyes and feed 'em to you
along with your ears and then your noses
and then your tongues.
That is what you get.
- Acceptable? - Yes, oswald, that is acceptable.
Ladies.
Mr. Penn will put you in contact with my narrows informer.
If those three do not have ed in hand promptly,
you will go down there and burn them all to cinders.
What about feeding them their eyes and all that?
Trust me, it's a great idea.
But far too messy to be practical.
Barbara: So give me the scoop on this cherry's joint.
Selina: It's mainly crazy prize fights. Chainsaw matches and stuff.
Well, back in the day, we'd settle our beefs in the ring.
Winner takes all.
The code of the narrows.
Right, well, I want to get in, grab ed,
deliver him to his doom and then go find a Martini.
Okay?
Hello? Earth to tabby?
Sorry, thinking about getting my hands on him.
Barbara: Yeah, as much as I hate doing penguin's dirty work,
this job is like a little dream come true.
Tabitha: Gonna be Ed's nightmare.
Aren't we worried about him setting a trap though?
He's a genius.
Well, word is, ed lost a step when penguin put him on ice.
But, we should be ready for anything.
(Imitating penguin) You insist on persisting in this misbehavior.
You leave me no choice, but to scold you.
You've asked for it! I'm going to sic my lackeys upon you.
Get 'em, boys, get 'em.
All: Grundy! Grundy! Grundy! Grundy! Grundy!
- Grundy! Grundy! - (Grundy roars)
Butch?
(Crowd cheering)
(Opponent screaming)
(Roars)
(Opponent whimpering)
All: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Stop hitting yourself!
Butch, it's butch. Do you know what this means?
Yeah, it means you owe me an apology for electrocuting me.
(All cheering)
I gotta find a way to go talk to him.
Have fun.
Tell him, it was nothing personal when I shot him in the head.
Wow, I have got to know what is up with this outfit.
(Indistinct shouting)
Could've sworn we had a job to do here.
All: Grundy! Grundy!
Good morning, harv.
- Where have you been? - Sorry, got stuck in traffic.
What you got there?
It's the bullet hole club today.
These are the slugs they pulled from the wounded cops
in the narrows raid.
It was the pyg that set the trap.
But I was the one who sent those cops in.
Yeah, you did.
But now we gotta move on, and we gotta catch the pyg
before he can hurt somebody else.
Yeah.
You're right.
- Captain bullock, detective. - What's the word, Lucius?
The word is "absence," as in all of professor pyg's crime scenes
demonstrate a marked absence of useful physical evidence.
- How is that possible? - Harvey: He's a loony.
But a crafty one.
We have to dig deeper,
try and get ahead of whatever he's planning.
I'm at your disposal.
Hey, Jim, uh, about the bullet hole club today.
I'd really appreciate it if you could be there, too.
- It would just help me a lot if... - Of course.
I knew you had my back, partner.
Of course, harv, I got your back.
Lucius: The bullet hole club?
Gordon: Cops shot in the line of duty.
- New members joining today. - How does that work?
It's unofficial, little ceremony in a bar.
Commanding officer hands them the bullet they were shot with.
This batch of cops were wounded in pyg's trap.
And Harvey has to give them their bullets?
Yeah, including the officer he shot.
No wonder he wants a friend there.
Yeah, no wonder.
Leave it to ed nygma to find a way to turn his idiocy
into a tool for revenge.
And everything was running so tidin.
Now I have nothing but headaches.
No one appreciates how hard it is to be a crime lord.
I did actually spend my childhood being raised by one.
My very point.
In fact, I thought we would have lunch together
and talk over the vagaries of this capricious calling.
I'd love to help, but I have to see the caterer
for the orphanage fundraiser.
Of course, can't expect you to be at my Beck and call.
You need a different source of relaxation, oswald.
You need chickens.
I'm sorry?
Do you remember my father's chickens?
(Chuckles) I seem to recall the Don's predilection for poultry.
He understood that life couldn't just be about business.
When his troubles were greatest, he spent time with his birds.
You think I need chickens?
An interest outside the business.
Give it some thought. We can talk about it when I get back.
Chickens.
Chick, chick, chickens.
(Indistinct chattering)
(Boys laughing)
Boy, come here this instant.
What do you think you're doing?
You cannot do things like that.
Your enemies will know it was you.
Crowd: (Chanting) Grundy! Grundy! Grundy! Grundy!
(Softly) Butch.
(Sighs)
Oh, you're alive.
Huh?
Oh, butch.
What happened to you?
(Growls)
Guess who?
Psycho killer stalker?
Got it in one.
Please, if you were going to pop me, you would've done it already.
(Grunts)
Oh. That felt good.
I've been waiting a long time to do that.
Other cheek?
I'm good, thanks.
So what are you doing down here, Barbara?
This is a low rent neighborhood for you.
Yeah, if it wasn't for penguin, you wouldn't catch me dead
- in a place like this. - Oh.
You're working as penguin's flunky? That suits you.
Yes and you seem to be thriving with your current life choices.
We don't all make decisions based on what it can get us.
There are other people in the world.
Wow. Sexy and self-righteous.
What does Jim think of this new you?
Jim who?
Well, I have to go see a man about a kidnapping,
but this has been interesting.
Toodles, poodle.
Kidnapping. Oh, crap.
Selina: You play a great penguin, mister.
Yeah. Sure, sure, thanks, kid.
Oh, crud.
(Thuds)
I thought you were supposed to be smart.
Relax, Jim, no one followed me.
I have oswald wrapped around my finger.
If you have such a good grip on him, explain that.
Why would he want me promoted? What's his plan?
Sofia: Oswald has nothing to do with this.
The commissioner and the mayor can feel the winds changing
and they want to be out ahead of it before it blows.
It was you, you put them up to this.
You must've made a hell of a contribution to get the mayor
to defy penguin.
No contribution necessary, Jim.
Just the Falcone name and everything that it implies.
Well, I won't do it. Not like this
and not at Harvey's expense.
Harvey is weak.
How much longer do you plan on propping him up
and how many more cops need to die because of his incompetence?
I need to go and you need to stop pretending
like you're not taking that job.
I'm not pretending.
So you say, Jim, but I don't see you rushing to throw that piece of paper
in the trash.
Come see me tonight,
after you take command and we'll celebrate.
(School bell ringing)
Revenge is never as simple as a mere tit for a tat.
Revenge must be specific in nature.
Now when you imagine revenge against your two juvenile tormentors,
what do you see?
(Penguin chuckles)
That might be a little overly ambitious.
We must be crafty.
For instance, friendship can be an especially deadly tactic.
How do you think you might use friendship to drive a wedge
between your two antagonists?
"They're both flunking math."
And you, I imagine, are very good at math?
Excellent, tell me more.
Psst! Psst!
Girl: Hey, Martin.
Thank you.
(School bell rings)
Girl: What's wrong, Martin?
Who did that to you?
Hey.
Are you picking on Martin?
Boy: You like that dummy so much, go play with him.
He's not a dummy.
- Yes, he is. - (Indistinct shouting)
Yeah, get him, get him!
Penguin: Well done.
Feels good, does it not?
Minions are so much better than friends.
"But I'm your..."
The greatest friend I ever had turned into my worst enemy.
Shun friendship.
You and I, we're more than friends.
We're conspirators.
Peekaboo.
(Muffled protesting)
Well, look at the little go-getter.
Yeah, well, you and tabby decided to freak out.
So someone had to be the professional.
Teenagers, ed, don't you love 'em?
Do you remember anything, butch?
Do you remember anything about us?
Doesn't this mean anything to you?
(Door opens)
- Ed? - Tabitha: Butch.
Tell zombie butch to back off.
Grundy kill everyone!
Butch, ed is not your friend.
Rip 'em to pieces.
- (Growls) - Tabitha: Butch!
All right, everybody, just take it easy.
Selina, what are you doing with these two?
Looking for trouble.
Well, you found plenty of it trying to take ed.
- Let him go. - You're such a bleeding heart, Lee.
I thought you changed, but turns out (Clicks tongue)
- You just got a new hairdo. - (Growls)
Code of the narrows, code of the narrows.
Let's settle it in the ring, champion against champion.
The winner would take ed.
So, your best fighter against my fighter?
(Scoffs)
Yeah, let's do that.
Nygma: (Imitating penguin) Honk-honk, honk-honk.
You narrows trash have been very, very naughty.
You've been hiding someone from me.
Don't listen to him, he's not my friend.
No, ed, no one's gonna save you.
(Groans) Grundy.
No one can save you. Save me.
Help, help, save me.
(Crowd cheering)
(Grundy roars)
Ladies and grundy fans.
Tonight is a special edition of fight night.
A good old narrows grudge match.
Winner takes me.
(Laughs)
And featuring your champion, Solomon grundy.
Versus tabby.
The tigress. (Meows)
- Tabs, I know this was my idea... - No, it's okay.
Butch is still in there, I know he is.
He loves me too much to hurt me.
Grundy kill!
Babe, I love your faith, but I really think you should take this.
No, he won't hurt me, I'll just choke him out, no problem.
(Bell dings)
(Crowd shouting)
Tabitha and grundy were lovers, before he got this way.
What if he goes easy on her?
Grundy will win, not that it makes a difference anyway.
What does that mean?
The penguin wants ed, he's gonna get him.
Come on, butch, I know you could never forget me.
You're still in there, I know it.
Grundy.
(Grundy roars)
Barbara: Tabby, get up! Come on, tabs. Come on, get up!
Get up. Tabby, get up.
- No! No, butch! No! Butch! - Tabs!
(Groans)
Tabitha: Hey, butch.
Tabby?
Crowd: Oh!
Butch?
(Indistinct chattering)
Come on, buddy.
Female bartender: Are you detective Gordon?
Yeah.
Harvey said as how I should give this to you.
Said you'd know what to do with it.
When was he here?
A couple of hours ago,
before you all started coming in here.
Thanks.
(Sighs)
(Crowd shouting)
Come on, butch. Come on, baby, wake up.
- Come on, butch, come on, baby. - Tabitha, we gotta go, now.
Ladies, let's am-scray.
- Come on. - I'll come back for you, butch.
What happened to this code of the narrows?
Give me up, Barbara. You're getting out of here empty-handed.
In the name of penguin, everybody back the hell off.
Look at that, cavalry.
Bridgit: Not so fast. Boss gave you a deadline.
- You missed it. - So what?
We got ed, we are literally champions here.
What you are is four courses of barbecue.
Crispy skin.
Nygma: Grundy, wake up.
Grundy, get up, big guy. Come on.
(Fire crackling)
Grundy kill!
(Grundy whimpering)
What's the matter, gruesome? Afraid of fire?
Come on, bridgit, don't do this, you're from the narrows.
Yeah, and I couldn't be happier to be out.
Penguin's right about this place. It's a sewer.
Only way to kill the stink is to burn it.
Hey, firefly, you're the only thing that stinks around here.
(Laughs)
(Groans)
You know what you've done? Firefly is penguin's enforcer.
And who is the one that got firefly down here, cherry?
She informed on ed to penguin.
What?
(Panicked chattering)
Shut up.
Shut up.
This is my club, it's my turf.
You guys just do what you're told like the scum you are.
They're the ones that are the problem.
They work for penguin.
Crowd: Oh!
I would like to announce that we just quit working for penguin.
(All cheering)
Whoo!
Well, they sure love their cold-blooded murder down here, huh?
Yeah, well, we better split before they decide they want more.
Hey, it's okay, big guy, fire lady, she can't hurt you.
Grundy: Grundy safe.
Where were you, Harvey?
Hey, Jim.
I was just having a
little drinkie-poo.
Why don't you join me?
- Not right now. - Come on, Jim,
don't be like that, come on, sit down
and have a drink with me.
Those cops were waiting for you.
Yeah, to spit in my face.
If that's what they wanted to do, you owed it to them to be there.
You stand in front of them, look each one in the eye.
If you'd have done that,
maybe you couldn've gotten their respect.
I don't deserve their respect.
Jim, I shot officer patel, what the hell was I supposed to do?
Stand in front of her and hand her the bullet that I shot her with
that came from my gun?
That's the job.
Take responsibility for what happens to your cops, that's the job.
So now, you're telling me what the job is?
Yeah.
Today, Jim, I just couldn't do the job.
So I sent you, because I knew you could.
It's not good enough.
Not today.
They needed you there.
We", ain't nothing that I can do about it now.
You got a pen?
For what?
Harvey bullock, you are relieved of duty.
As of this moment, I'm assuming the captaincy of Gotham central.
Well, well,
look who finally got what he always wanted.
But what I'm wondering is,
what did you have to do to get it?
- All I did was my job, same as... - Nothing in Gotham is free.
Captain Gordon.
You just better hope you can pay up when your bill's due.
And it'll come due.
Huh?
Now you try.
Ah. You've met Martin, I see.
Shh. He's practicing.
No, it's...
Upward, Martin, so that way you drive the blade under the ribs
- and into the heart. - Oswald.
Entirely theoretically speaking, of course.
- Mr. Penn? - Urgent matters, Mr. Cobblepot.
It seems that miss kean and her associates have failed
to retrieve Mr. Nygma.
- Did you dispatch firefly? - I did.
And Ms. Firefly was herself in turn, disabled.
(Loudly) What?
- There's more. - Yes!
The mayor at his own discretion has seen fit to promote
detective Gordon to the rank of captain.
That is, um...
That is quite a lot to go awry in one day.
Very good, Mr. Cobblepot.
You see, oswald, business is not the end-all of life.
There are other rewards to be had. Companionship, peace of mind.
Friendship.
Oh. I have to get back to the estate,
I still have so much to do for the fundraiser.
Will you be joining me later for dinner?
I think not.
- Martin needs some more practice. - Okay.
Martin.
Remind me.
What did we learn today?
What did we learn about friendship?
Exactly.
Sometimes if you're not very careful, friendship can blind you
to what is staring you right in the face.
Nygma: "Hey, firefly.
"You're the only thing that stinks around here."
I get melodramatic under pressure.
How are you feeling, big fella?
Grundy confused.
Yeah, tell me about it.
What's with them?
They're, uh...
They're acknowledging their new leader.
We", like I said, they love you.
Uh, Lee, I'm supposed to be the stupid one.
You heal their children, you stitch up their warriors.
You've slain a fire breathing monster and you've helped topple the queen.
This is your turf now.
No, no, no, I am not a leader.
Okay, well, if you don't do it, somebody else will.
Probably worse than cherry.
Where do I start?
I don't know, just make 'em happy, give 'em something to cheer for.
Drinks on the house!
(All cheering)
Good move.
Sofia: Why, captain Gordon,
you came to celebrate after all.
I'm not here to celebrate.
What's wrong? I made you captain, didn't I?
You made me?
Is that what you think?
Jim.
You can toy with penguin all you want.
But I am not your puppet.
No, you're not. You're my partner.
Your partner?
I just stuck a knife in my partner's back.
A mercy killing, if you ask me.
Grow up.
You wanted a gangster to help you get rid of penguin.
This is what that help looks like.
Harvey had to go.
I don't need your help anymore.
I think it's time you left Gotham.
I'm not going anywhere, Jim.
I came to restore the Falcone name and that's exactly
what I'm going to do.
So, do you want to come in and celebrate, captain?
I think I'll stay out here where I can breathe.
English - sdh
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