Original subtitles

HELLO?

HEY. YOU NAKED? 'CAUSE I AM.

CARLOS, IS THAT YOU?

LISA? I THOUGHT I WAS CALLING GRANDMA.

HA HA HA!

HEY, DREW, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, SINCE WE MISSED OUR SECRET CONVERSATION AT WORK TODAY,

I THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT UP TO YOU OVER THE PHONE.

RIGHT NOW I'M LAYING IN THE TUB, SIPPING CHAMPAGNE,

WEARING NOTHING BUT BUBBLES.

REALLY?

YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT ON THE COUCH... EATING PIZZA?

NO, I TOLD YOU, I'M IN THE TUB.

HA HA HA! OK, TUB. GOT IT. KEEP GOING.

WELL, IF I WAS THERE WITH YOU,

I WOULD KISS YOU OVER EVERY INCH OF YOUR BODY.

OH...

I'M GONNA RUB YOUR TUMMY TILL YOUR LEG SHAKES.

HOLD ON A SECOND, THIS PIZZA'S SLOWING ME DOWN.

NO, I'M WASHING THE DOG. KEEP GOING.

OH.

OH, DAMN, I GOT ANOTHER CALL. CAN YOU HOLD ON?

GO AHEAD AND TAKE IT. I GOT TO ADD THE FLEA SHAMPOO.

OH, SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO BE IN THAT SINK.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HELLO?

HI, DREW. IT'S OSWALD.

I'VE BEEN TALKING SLOW ALL DAY.

HEY, LISTEN, OSWALD, CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

I GOT LISA ON THE OTHER LINE.

NO. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. I'LL HOLD.

ALL RIGHT.

OK, NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

I BELIEVE I WAS KISSING MY WAY

STRAIGHT TO YOUR NIPPLES.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN YOU GET THERE?

OSWALD?

LISA?

YEAH?

OH. SO WHERE WERE WE?

I BELIEVE I WAS KISSING MY WAY SOUTH...

OH, GREAT. NOW I'VE GOT ANOTHER CALL.

GO AHEAD. I'LL WAIT.

HELLO?

HI, LISA, IT'S KATE.

HEY, KATE.

LISTEN, DREW'S ON THE OTHER LINE,

AND HE'S IN THE MOOD FOR SEX TALK.

OH! WELL, THAT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

I'M AT THE WARSAW.

LET ME PUT SOME MORE MONEY IN THE MACHINE.

OH, MAN, THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER.

HEY, OSWALD, YOU STILL THERE?

MM-HMM.

LISA.

OK, BACHELORETTE NUMBER ONE,

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME SOMETHING IN YOUR SEXIEST VOICE.

HEY, BABY, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

DAMN YOU, OSWALD.

LISA?

YEAH, IT'S ME.

HEY, LISTEN.

LET'S AGREE NOT TO TAKE ANY MORE CALLS, OK?

NO MATTER WHAT.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT. ALL RIGHT...

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU.

MR. CAREY, I HAVE A REQUEST

FOR AN EMERGENCY INTERRUPT FROM YOUR MOTHER.

WILL YOU ACCEPT?

AW, MAN, IF THIS ISN'T HER

KNOCKING ON THE BATHROOM DOOR ALL OVER AGAIN...

YEAH, OPERATOR, I'LL ACCEPT.

IT'S NOT YOUR MOM, BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

WHAT IS IT, LEWIS?

WELL, I HAVE TO MAKE A BET.

WHO DO YOU THINK'S FASTER... A MIDGET OR A PIG?

♪ MOON OVER PARMA, BRING MY LOVE TO ME TONIGHT ♪

♪ GUIDE HER TO CLEVELAND UNDERNEATH YOUR SILVERY LIGHT ♪

♪ WE'RE GOIN' BOWLIN' ♪

♪ SO DON'T LOSE HER IN SOLON ♪

♪ MOON OVER PARMA TONIGHT ♪♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

WHAT'S WITH YOU GUYS,

YOU MAKING A TOM PETTY VIDEO?

DREW, YOU'VE GOT TO CHECK

THE BIG REMODELING SALE DOWNSTAIRS.

THEY'RE SELLING ALL THE OLD DISPLAYS,

ALL THE FIXTURES FOR, LIKE, NOTHING.

THIS PENCIL COST ME A DOLLAR. YEAH!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH IT?

A DOLLAR, THIS PENCIL. YEAH!

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK THEY HAVE THESE REMODELING SALES

JUST FOR SUCKERS LIKE YOU.

HEY!

THEY ACCEPTED MY BID ON THE GIANT PUMP.

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST PUT IT IN THERE

AND WHEEL IT TO THE BREAK ROOM?

MAN...

THE CUTE ONES ARE NEVER IN YOUR SIZE.

BOY, I'D LIKE TO MEET HER BROTHER.

DREW... TOOK A MESSAGE FOR YOU.

YOUR DOCTOR CALLED ABOUT SOME BLOOD TESTS.

WHAT?

TURNS OUT YOU REALLY ARE A PIG. HA HA HA!

I HOPE THOSE RUG BURNS TEACH YOU A LESSON, SPANKY.

WHAT, IS IT NOON ALREADY?

HEY, MIMI, YOU'RE WANTED IN JERRY'S...

OH, MR. BELL'S OFFICE.

OH. I GUESS I'M BATTING CLEAN-UP.

SO, UH... SUZIE,

THIS IS...

KIND OF EMBARRASSING.

I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO PUT IT,

BUT YOUR SWEATER'S ON INSIDE OUT.

OH. I MUST HAVE PUT IT ON WRONG

AFTER I HAD SEX WITH MR. BELL.

SO I GUESS IT WON'T BOTHER YOU

THAT YOU HAVE UNDERWEAR STICKING OUT OF YOUR SHOE.

YES, MR. BELL?

CAREY, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID

YOU WANTED TO HAVE AN ASSISTANT?

THIS ISN'T LIKE THAT TIME

YOU GAVE ME YOUR KEYS TO YOUR PORSCHE

AND THEN HAD SECURITY BEAT ME UP, IS IT, SIR?

HEH, HEH. NO, NO.

AND THAT WASN'T MEANT TO GO THAT FAR, CAREY.

LISTEN, CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'VE GOT AN ASSISTANT.

WHAT... WOW! THERE... THAT'S GREAT, MR. BELL.

YOU... YOU'VE GOT A HEART AS BIG AS A...

WELL, YOU HAVE A HEART.

ASSISTANT TO MR. CAREY...

WOW.

HEY...

HEY, MIMI.

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO'S GETTING HIS OWN ASSISTANT.

I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT... HE HATES YOUR GUTS.

AND IT'S NOT THE FREE-SAMPLE GUY FROM HICKORY FARMS.

OHH... WHAT ARE YOU DOING...

BRINGING SOME GOODIES FOR MY NEW ASSISTANT, HUH?

WELL, THAT'S GREAT, MIMI.

WOW, A TROLL STARTER KIT.

THAT'S REALLY SWEET OF YOU.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE,

UNLESS YOU'RE MY NEW ASSISTANT,

IN WHICH CASE I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF WITH MY TAPE DISPENSER.

HERE'S A LETTER OPENER.

I'LL GET A BUCKET.

NO! YOU CAN'T BE MY NEW ASSISTANT.

MY NEW ASSISTANT'S GOING TO BE SWEET AND CHARMING

AND SAY, "YES, SIR" AND "NO, SIR."

YES, SIR... LUNCH-A-LOT.

AW, THIS IS STUPID.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHAT DID I DO?

MR. BELL'S MAKING SUZIE HIS NEW ASSISTANT.

IT'S THE ONE POSITION SHE HASN'T HAD WITH HIM YET.

OW.

EW.

SO, HOW MANY TIMES DID MIMI KICK YOU?

LET'S SEE, I SAID,

"GET YOUR FEET OUT FROM UNDER MY SIDE OF THE DESK."

AND THEN, "OW, OW, OW, OW, OW..."

"I MEAN IT. OW, OW, OW, OW.

"STOP THAT... OW, HURTS.

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW."

15.

UHH! OW! WAIT! WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

SEE? NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A HAPPY FACE.

OH...

AAH! JEEZ! GOD!

NEEDED A NOSE.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST FIRE MIMI?

OH, I CAN'T. THERE'S NO WAY MR. BELL WOULD LET ME.

YOU KNOW, DREW, MAYBE YOU'RE

SUPPOSED TO LEARN A LIFE LESSON HERE.

I MEAN, WE HAD THESE 2 GUYS AT DRUGCO WHO HATED EACH OTHER.

THEY FOUGHT FOR A WHILE, BUT THEN THEY WORKED OUT THEIR DIFFERENCES,

WENT TO A BAR TO CELEBRATE,

GOT INTO A FIGHT OVER A WAITRESS,

AND ONE GUY KILLED THE OTHER.

WE LAUGH ABOUT THAT AT WORK A LOT.

HAS ANYONE EVER SURVIVED A JOB AT DRUGCO?

SURE. THERE'S, UH, ME AND COMA JOE.

OH, I'M DYING. I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.

LIE DOWN. I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

OOH.

SHH.

I SAW THIS ON THE NATURE CHANNEL.

JAY'S BACK IS OUT. I'M JUST MASSAGING HIM.

THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY SEX

UNLESS HE COUGHS UP THE EXTRA 20 BUCKS.

OH, I GOT 20 BUCKS.

WE'RE SHORT-HANDED 'CAUSE MY EX-WIFE

HIRED AWAY MY BEST MEN FOR HER MOVING COMPANY.

I'M SORRY I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MOVE THOSE OLD DISPLAY CASES

OUT OF THE STORE THIS WEEKEND.

HEY, WE COULD HELP YOU.

WAIT, LET'S SEE WHAT THE EX-WIFE PAYS.

I'LL HELP YOU, TOO, BUDDY.

YOU SURE YOU CAN? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?

SCABIES.

MIMI KICKED HIM AT WORK TODAY.

WOW. IF SHE'S YOUR ASSISTANT,

WHAT DOES YOUR BOSS DO TO YOU?

HEY. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

SHE'S WORKING FOR ME NOW.

FROM NOW ON, I'M NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF HER CRAP.

UHH.

COME ON, LET'S GO CELEBRATE.

UHH UHH UHH UHH UHH.

MIMI'S DAYS OF MESSING WITH ME ARE OVER.

HEY...

"KICK ME" BRAND JACKETS.

I USED TO WEAR THESE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

YEAH, THEY WENT REAL GOOD WITH YOUR NIMROD HAT

AND YOUR WEDGIE JEANS.

"KICK ME." REAL CLEVER.

YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE "LICK ME."

OH. THAT EXPLAINS THE TROUBLE I HAD ON THE BUS TODAY.

HA HA HA!

MR. CAREY...

I'M KIM DECKER. I'M HERE TO INTERVIEW

FOR THE HOUSEWARES POSITION.

OH, WHAT A COINCIDENCE. I'M HERE TO INTERVIEW PEOPLE

FOR THE HOUSEWARES POSITION.

T.G.I. FRIDAY'S IS NOW OFFICIALLY OPENED.

PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

YOU COLLECT TROLL DOLLS.

NO. UH, THOSE BELONG TO MY ASSISTANT.

I USUALLY PUT JUST PICTURES

OF MY FAMILY ON THE DESK.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.

OH, I SEE YOU WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN.

HE SAID, LOOKING AT HER CHEST.

THAT'S RIGHT. AND I MADE DEAN'S LIST ALL 4 YEARS.

AH, VERY IMPRESSIVE.

I ONLY HAVE, UH, ONE IMPORTANT QUESTION...

COULD YOU EVER BE ATTRACTED TO A FAT MAN?

OK, THAT'S IT.

WOULD YOU MIND, UH, WAITING OUT IN THE LOBBY?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO RIGHT NOW...

I DON'T WANT ANY WITNESSES.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT, MIMI.

I AM YOUR BOSS NOW.

AND I EXPECT YOU TO TREAT ME

WITH A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT.

HOW LITTLE?

LIKE WHEN YOU PUT ON A LITTLE EYE SHADOW.

AND, YOU KNOW,

ALL THIS STUFF, IT'S JUST LIKE...

IT'S JUST VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.

DON'T TOUCH THE TROLL!

IS THAT WHAT YOUR MOM USED TO SAY TO YOUR DATES?

PUT THE TROLLS DOWN,

OR I'LL PUT A STAPLE RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR EYES.

YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.

TRY ME.

PUT THE TROLLS DOWN.

FINE.

OWW! OHH! OH!

MIMI DID IT!

DREW DID IT! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!

YOU TWO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING

SINCE THE MOMENT YOU MET!

WELL, IT'S GONE TOO FAR!

YOU'RE BOTH SUSPENDED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.

AND IF THIS CONTINUES WHEN YOU GET BACK,

ONE OF YOU WON'T BE STAYING.

YEAH, BUT, MR. BELL,

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. SHE...

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

I HAVEN'T BEEN SUSPENDED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

AND JUST KEEP AWAY FROM ME,

BECAUSE I KNOW 15 DIFFERENT WAYS TO KILL A MAN.

DOESN'T THAT VIOLATE SOME SORT OF CLOWN COLLEGE RULE?

COMING!

WHO IS IT?

Jay: TRIPLE "A" ACTION MOVING.

WE GOT YOUR DELIVERY FROM WINFRED-LOUDER.

HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SOME CREEP

THAT JUST WANTS TO GET INTO MY APARTMENT?

BECAUSE IF I WAS A CREEP, I'D JUST DO THIS...

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

BUT I'M WARNING YOU,

IF YOU TOUCH ANY OF MY STUFF, YOU'RE DEAD.

TOUCH IT? I CAN'T EVEN STOP IT FROM SPINNING.

BRING IT IN THE BEDROOM.

WHOA. WHOA.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GO TO A YARD SALE,

AND YOU WONDER WHO BUYS ALL THAT CRAP?

EXCUSE ME, BUT THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF SUBTLETY OVER THERE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET RID OF THAT.

YOU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT!

LOOK, I'M SORRY. BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT MY FRIEND WAS GONNA BE

MAKING A DELIVERY HERE, I HAD TO COME OVER AND TALK TO YOU.

WOW, MY EYES WON'T FOCUS.

UH, WHILE YOU TWO TALK, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST POINT US TO THE BEDROOM?

BEHIND THE BEADS AND PAST THE WIGS.

AND DON'T TOUCH MY LIFE-SIZE ANTONIO BANDERAS.

LOOK...

I TRIED BEING YOUR BOSS. THAT DIDN'T WORK.

I CAN'T FIRE YOU.

AND YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, EITHER.

SO, WOULD YOU CONSIDER JOINING ME IN SENSITIVITY TRAINING?

BITE ME, DOUGHBOY.

HELPED A LOT OF PEOPLE AT MY COMPANY.

BITE ME, STICK BOY.

Oswald: IT SPRAYED ME! ANTONIO SPRAYED ME!

Jay: IT'S NOT THAT BAD, MAN,

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

I TOLD THEM NOT TO TOUCH ANTONIO.

STAY HERE AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

DREW, LET'S GIVE IT UP AND WAIT DOWNSTAIRS.

I DON'T WANT TO GET SPRAYED, MAN.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HER?

WHY WON'T SHE EVEN TRY TO WORK THIS OUT?

H-H-HOW COULD SOMEONE HATE ME SO MUCH?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK'S IN THE CUPBOARD?

I DON'T KNOW. WHY?

'CAUSE IF THIS IS THE STUFF SHE KEEPS OUT HERE,

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE HIDES?

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, IT'S YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

PICTURES OF YOU, HUNDREDS OF PICTURES OF YOU.

OH, MY GOD.

LOOK. IT'S ME AT THE COMPANY PICNIC. HUH.

THIS IS ME AT CHRISTMAS.

THIS IS ME AT THE OFFICE.

THESE ARE ALL JUST PICTURES OF ME.

AND, HEY... SOME DAMN GOOD PICTURES OF ME.

HMM, DREW, NOT THIS ONE AT THE WATER PARK.

THIS IS SCARY, MAN.

OH... I THINK SHE'S COMING. PUT EVERYTHING BACK.

LET'S JUST GO WAIT OUT IN THE TRUCK.

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO TALK TO HER.

YEAH. NOT ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO GET MY HANDS

ON ONE OF THESE BIG BOYS FOR QUITE A WHILE.

LIKE THE WAY IT HANDLES?

AW, WHO CARES?

YOU SAW THE SIGN, BUDDY!

HOW AM I DRIVING? I WANT TO KNOW NOW!

WAIT TILL I MAKE A WIDE TURN.

IT'S LIKE A LICENSE TO KILL.

WHY'D YOU GET OUT OF THERE SO FAST, DREW?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU FOUND OUT THAT MIMI BOBECK

HAD AN ENTIRE CABINET FILLED WITH SNAPSHOTS OF YOU?

I KNEW A GIRL WHO COLLECTED PICTURES OF ME,

BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE...

OH, MY GOD. SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU?

SHH. NOT SO LOUD.

WHOEVER'S IN CONTROL OF IRONY COULD BE LISTENING.

DREW, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT TO YOURSELF.

I KNOW, I KNOW. SHE'S... UGH... IN LOVE WITH ME.

BUT HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE.

WHO'S THEY...

ALL THE LITTLE TINY JACKASSES INSIDE YOUR HEAD?

YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING IS CRAZY.

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE... OH, GOD, PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING.

O.K. HERE'S WHY NOT...

BECAUSE, UH, SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO GET ME FIRED.

AND THEN I'D BE OUT OF HER LIFE FOREVER.

OR YOU'D BE ON THE SKIDS AND VULNERABLE.

"I'M SO SORRY, DREW.

"LET ME LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS.

HERE, PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER."

"THAT'S NOT YOUR SHOULDER."

"WHO CARES? TAKE ME NOW, MY PORTLY STALLION.

TAKE ME, TAKE ME!"

YOU KNOW, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA SAY TO MIMI.

YOU KNOW, DREW, YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING TOO MUCH OF THIS.

MIMI'S A REASONABLE PERSON.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, SHE IS A WOMAN.

OH, YEAH, HERE WE GO.

WHAT? IT'S A WELL-KNOWN FACT

THAT IF WOMEN RAN THE WORLD, THERE'D BE NO WARS.

UH, I'M SURE NO ONE WOULD START A FIGHT FOR NO REASON

IF WOMEN RAN THE WORLD. RIGHT.

"HI, THIS IS ENGLAND.

HOW COME I'M BEING INVADED?"

"OH, I THINK YOU KNOW WHY."

OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

OH, I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

OH, WELL... SUZIE'S HERE.

AT LEAST THAT'S ONE PROBLEM I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE.

SUZIE, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

SO, MR. BELL'S REALLY GOT YOU BACKED UP HERE, HUH?

LOOK. ANOTHER ONE OF THESE THINGS IN YOUR "IN" BOX.

OH, THESE ARE JUST THE ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE "IN" BOX.

THERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH THESE DESK JOBS,

YOU'RE JUST SITTING DOWN ALL DAY.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO.

THAT, AND, WELL, YOU KNOW, JUST...

OH, MY GOD, I'M NOT.

WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY FOR ME TO SAY... HOLY COW!

AAH. IT IS BIGGER.

I HATE THIS JOB.

AND I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA ADD TO IT.

I NEED YOU TO POST THIS OPENING.

IT'S FOR A NEW BUYER IN JEWELRY.

WE HAD TO FIRE THE OTHER ONE

BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO EASY TO STEAL FROM THERE.

WHEW.

AHEM.

MIMI.

YEAH?

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE...

YOU KNOW, WE KIND OF GOT INTERRUPTED YESTERDAY, AND...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS EXACTLY.

IT'S KIND OF DELICATE.

OH? YEAH. YOU KNOW, UH...

SOMETIMES WHEN PEOPLE ACT LIKE THEY HATE EACH OTHER,

WELL, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE MAY BE HAVING FEELINGS

THAT ARE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY SEEM.

REALLY?

YES AND TO PROTECT THOSE REAL FEELINGS...

OR MAYBE THEY FEAR REJECTION,

OR MAYBE IT'S JUST A TOTALLY SCREWED-UP INDIVIDUAL.

JUST A GUESS.

UH... THEY ACT TOWARDS THE OTHER PERSON

WITH A LOT OF, YOU KNOW, HOSTILITY.

UH-HUH.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MIMI, YOU HAVE A CUPBOARD FULL OF MY PICTURES.

NO, I DON'T.

I SAW IT.

WELL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE CUPBOARD.

LITTLE? IT'S LIKE A MUSEUM OF ME IN THERE.

IT'S LIKE THE... DREWVRE.

SO, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME! THERE, YOU SAID IT!

IN LOVE WITH YOU?

I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S GONNA LOVE YOU.

I'VE BEEN SENDING THOSE PICTURES

TO LONELY MALE PRISONERS ALONG WITH THIS LETTER.

"I HOPE YOU COME SEE ME WHEN YOU GET OUT"?

YOUR FIRST DATE SHOULD BE IN ABOUT... SIX MONTHS.

THREE WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR. HEH HEH HEH.

HOW M... HOW M... HOW MANY OF THESE DID YOU SEND OUT?

NONE.

I REALIZED IT GOT OUT OF HAND

WHEN MR. BELL ALMOST FIRED US.

YEAH, NO KIDDING.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?

OH, THIS?

I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF THIS.

3, 2...

YES, MR. BELL?

IS MIMI THERE?

YES, SIR, I'M RIGHT HERE.

MIMI, LISTEN, I NEED YOU BACK AT MY DESK IMMEDIATELY.

SUZIE'S TO BE MOVING TO A DIFFERENT POSITION.

I BET IT'S STILL UNDER MR. BELL.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, SIR.

OH, AND, CAREY, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS.

I KNOW I'M PULLING RANK IN A VERY ARBITRARY AND HAPHAZARD MANNER,

BUT... YOU REALLY HAVE NO CHOICE.

OOH, YOU... ARE REALLY GOOD.

WHERE'S SUZIE GOING?

SHE'S THE NEW BUYER IN JEWELRY.

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER ME?

WHAT... OH, WOW, THE JOB WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT FOR YOU.

OH, IT WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER PAY, SHORTER HOURS,

YOU WOULD'VE GOT TO TRAVEL.

IT WOULD'VE BEEN YOUR DREAM JOB.

BITE ME, DOUGH GIRL.

I GUESS I DESERVE THAT.

OH. I ALPHABETIZED YOUR RECENT HIREES

AND RESCHEDULED YOUR APPOINTMENTS

SO YOU COULD TAKE A LUNCH BREAK.

WOW. Y-YOU MEAN I'M ALL... CAUGHT UP?

YEAH. IF YOU WANT TO REVIEW THE DISKS,

THEY'RE IN THE TOP LEFT-HAND DRAWER.

OH...

GEE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

JUST... THANKS, MIMI.

MY PLEASURE.

HA HA HA!

GOOD ONE.

YEAH, HI.

CAN YOU GET ME THE ADDRESS

FOR THE CUYAHOGA COUNTY WOMEN'S CORRECTIONAL CENTER?

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

AN AUTHENTIC PAIR OF ANTONIO BANDERAS' BOXER SHORTS.

WORN... BUT NOT WASHED.

OHH.

WAIT A MINUTE, IF THEY'RE AUTHENTIC,

HOW DID YOU GET THEM?

OH, YOU WANT TO KNOW MY SOURCE?

TWO WORDS... BITE ME.

THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE.

OF COURSE.

WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME FOR THEM?

WAIT A MINUTE.

POLY-COTTON BLEND?

IF YOU READ YOUR ANTONIO BANDERAS FAN LITERATURE,

YOU'D KNOW HE ONLY WEARS 100% COTTON.

UH...

THEY'RE FROM A MOVIE WARDROBE.

YEAH, RIGHT. GET OUT!

TAKE YOUR SCHEMING UNDERWEAR WITH YOU.

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!

UH... DANNY BONADUCE?

OUT!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE www.ncicap.org...