Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

HEY, DREW.

LISA.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OVER HERE.

RELAX. I KNOW THE RULES...

WE CAN'T DATE, YOU'RE MY BOSS,

PEOPLE CAN SEE US. EVERYTHING'S COOL.

OK, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW IT'S COMPLETELY WRONG AND UNACCEPTABLE,

COME ON IN.

WOW.

WHAT BEAUTIFUL TASTE YOUR MOTHER HAD.

YEAH, I SLEEP UPSTAIRS IN A BIG RACE CAR.

SO, UH, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

I BROUGHT OVER YOUR INVITATION

TO THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY.

YEAH, YOU COULDN'T JUST GIVE THIS TO ME AT WORK?

YOU SAID WE COULDN'T SEE EACH OTHER AT WORK.

OH, OK, SO YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING I SAY NOW?

WELL, IT'S NOT QUITE THAT EASY, DREW.

OK, WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU NEED A BETTER REASON.

YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET AT MY PLACE.

THAT'S NOT MY JACKET,

AND I'VE NEVER BEEN TO YOUR PLACE.

THEN YOU LEFT YOUR PURSE?

GIVE ME THAT. THIS ISN'T MY PURSE.

THIS IS MY MONEY.

HEY!

I JUST WANTED TO TALK.

HOW ABOUT A BEER?

OH, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING.

I REALLY WASN'T EXPECTING ANYBODY.

ALL I HAVE IS COORS, BUDWEISER, MILLER,

AMSTEL LIGHT, HEINEKEN, RED DOG, RED TAIL.

OOPS.

ONLY HALF A BUD.

OH, GOD, DREW.

THIS IS SO CRAZY.

HERE I AM, ENJOYING YOUR COMPANY,

AND I FEEL LIKE SOME CRIMINAL

WHO HAS TO SNEAK OVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

ISN'T THERE SOME WAY WE CAN MOVE THIS RELATIONSHIP FORWARD?

YEAH. NOT WITH HALF A BEER.

COME ON. WE'RE YOUNG.

I'M ATTRACTIVE.

X-FILES IS OVER.

WHAT'S STOPPING US?

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SHOW CALLED 20/20?

LOOK, YOU KNOW HOW BAD I WANT TO BE WITH YOU,

BUT I WORKED 10 YEARS AT THIS COMPANY

TO GET FROM HERE TO HERE. WELL, YOU KNOW, HERE.

I CAN'T RISK LOSING IT.

ALL RIGHT, BIG GUY. I GIVE UP.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW AT WORK.

WELL, WAIT.

YOU, UH...

YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET AT MY PLACE.

AAH!

PLEASE TELL ME THAT WAS A CLIMAX.

OH, GOD. IT'S JUST KATE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?

SORRY. I SAW 2 PEOPLE KISSING,

AND I THOUGHT I WAS AT THE WRONG HOUSE.

YOU SEE THAT? AND KATE JUST HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY.

WHO KNOWS WHO ELSE COULD'VE BEEN OUT THERE?

Man: AH-CHOO!

Second man: GOD BLESS YOU.

ALL RIGHT, WHO ELSE IS OUT THERE?

NOBODY.

OK. WHO WANTS A BEER?

HOW ABOUT YOU, JULES?

Jules: NO, THANKS. HOW ABOUT YOU, MILLIE?

♪ MOON OVER PARMA ♪

♪ BRING MY LOVE TO ME TONIGHT ♪

♪ GUIDE HER TO CLEVELAND ♪

♪ UNDERNEATH YOUR SILVERY LIGHT ♪

♪ WE'RE GOIN' BOWLIN' ♪

♪ SO DON'T LOSE HER IN SOLON ♪

♪ MOON OVER PARMA TONIGHT ♪

WHO HASN'T PICKED THEIR SECRET SANTA

TO SEE WHO THEY'RE GIVING A GIFT TO?

THERE'S ONLY A FEW LEFT.

OH, PERFECT.

OH, NO, NOT YOU!

UH, SO, MIMI,

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?

DIAMONDS.

SHE STUFFED THE BOX. I GOT MIMI, TOO.

THERE'S A MIMI 2?

HOW COME THEY'RE ALWAYS MAKING SEQUELS

TO THINGS I DON'T LIKE?

HEY, BUDDY. HEY.

HEY. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

OH, GETTING A JUMP ON OUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING.

WE MADE UP A LIST OF THINGS

WE WANT YOU TO BUY AT THE STORE FOR US

WITH YOUR COMPANY DISCOUNT.

WE FOUND SOME THINGS FOR YOU

YOU ARE REALLY GONNA LOVE.

YEAH, RIGHT THERE.

OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I GOT TO BUY MY OWN CHRISTMAS GIFTS?

RELAX. WE'LL PAY YOU BACK.

WITH WHAT?

EVERYONE'S GETTING

BIG FAT CHRISTMAS BONUSES DOWN AT MY COMPANY.

YOU KNOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,

DRUGCO ISN'T BEING SUED FOR SELLING PRODUCTS

THAT CAUSE DISABLING SIDE EFFECTS

OR PREMATURE DEATH.

PROUD?

DAMN RIGHT, WE'RE PROUD.

SO HAVING A SECOND ROW OF TEETH

IS NO LONGER CONSIDERED A SIDE EFFECT?

SO, DREW,

AM I YOUR DATE AGAIN

FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY FRIDAY?

NO. NOW THAT YOU WORK HERE,

I CAN'T TELL EVERYBODY YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE.

IT'S ABOUT TIME, DREW.

IT'S KIND OF SAD YOU'RE ALWAYS TAKING

YOUR FRIENDS AS DATES.

LEWIS, YOU WANT TO GO TO A PARTY?

ONLY IF YOU CALL ME JULIO.

SO, I GUESS YOU'LL BE NEEDING SOMEONE

TO SPIN SOME HOLIDAY TUNES

ON THIS, THE MOST MAGICAL OF ALL SEASONS.

WILL YOU WORK FOR $20?

WILL YOU PAY ME IN CASH ALL AT ONCE

SO IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING?

WILL YOU WEAR A TIE SO YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING?

DEAL.

HEY, I GET TO GO TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY!

HEY! OH, HO HO!

SO, DO THOSE THINGS GET PRETTY WILD?

WILD?

THEY'RE INSANE.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOME COUPLE

LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM

GOING AT IT, WHILE OUTSIDE...

ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT GOES ON OUTSIDE.

DREW, I JUST GOT A CALL

FROM MRS. LOUDER'S SECRETARY.

MRS. LOUDER WANTS YOU

TO HAVE LUNCH WITH HER...

TOMORROW AFTERNOON

UPSTAIRS IN THE CRYSTAL ROOM.

WHAT?

IS THAT MRS. LOUDER AS IN THE WINFRED-LOUDER

DEPARTMENT STORE?

YEAH, IT'S LOUDER'S WIDOW.

GEE, I WONDER HOW HE DIED.

I NEED AN AMBULANCE RIGHT AWAY.

WELL, WHAT'S THE NAME? LOUDER.

WHAT'S THE NAME? LOUDER.

WHAT'S THE NAME?! LOUDER.

HE DIED WAITING FOR A LIVER TRANSPLANT.

WHO'S THAT LIVER FOR? LOUDER.

WHO'S THE LIVER FOR?! LOUDER!

WHO'S THE LIVER FOR?!

AH, NEVER MIND. HE'S DEAD.

WAIT, WAIT. HERE'S HIS WIFE

ASKING HIM TO TURN UP THE STEREO.

"TURN UP THE STEREO."

"OH, YOU WANT IT LOUDER?"

"YES!"

AND THEN HE SAYS IT, LIKE, A BUNCH OF TIMES,

AND EVERYBODY LAUGHS.

NO?

THAT'S OK. MAYBE NEXT TIME. ALL RIGHT.

MAN, I WONDER WHAT SHE WANTS ME FOR.

MAYBE SHE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEONE

TO INHERIT THE STORE, AND SHE PICKED YOU.

YEAH.

THAT'S PROBABLY POSSIBILITY NUMBER ONE MILLION.

WONDER WHAT ELSE IT COULD BE?

SHE'S REALLY RICH.

MAYBE SHE WANTS TO SEND YOU

OFF IN THE WILDERNESS AND HUNT YOU FOR SPORT.

WELL, SEE, NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING WRONG?

MAYBE SHE WANTS TO FIRE YOU.

FIRE ME?

BUT I'M... I'M A MODEL EMPLOYEE.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SAID SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW, UH...

THESE STORES HAVE BUGS

AND MICROPHONES EVERYWHERE.

WHY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS MRS. LOUDER

HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO

THAN TO BUG HER EMPLOYEES.

"I STOLE PENS. TONS OF PENS."

"SHUT UP, OSWALD."

DEAR PIZZA,

I DO NOT CARE OR GIVE A WHIT

THAT YOU ARE ONE DAY OLD.

I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL...

EVEN WHEN YOU'RE COLD.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

JULES!

JULES!

HEY, DREW.

FELIZ NAVIDAD.

JULES, TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS.

OH, COME ON, DREW.

WHERE'S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

IT'S MORE THAN A MONTH TILL CHRISTMAS.

THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T PUT ALL THE LIGHTS IN YET.

OH, DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE BABY JESUS.

YOU'LL GO BLIND.

OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA USE HIM FOR,

SIGNAL AN AIRCRAFT?

HEY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE SANTA CLAUS

UP THERE IN THE MANGER FOR?

HE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH NOTHING.

WHO IS HE, MARY'S LAMAZE COACH?

HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO WIN THE CONTEST

FOR THE BRIGHTEST CHRISTMAS DISPLAY.

WHAT CONTEST?

FROM THE POWER COMPANY.

WINNER GETS $50 OFF HIS NEXT BILL.

OH, YEAH, GREAT THINKING, JULES.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU CUT YOUR LEGS OFF,

YOU CAN PARK ANYWHERE FOR FREE.

I NEED MY SLEEP.

I GOT A BIG MEETING WITH THE OWNER

OF MY COMPANY TOMORROW.

NOW TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND THE DOGS,

OR I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS.

GO AHEAD, CALL 'EM.

WE AIN'T DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL.

BE KIND OF STUPID UNDER ALL THIS LIGHT.

AH, WHOEVER TURNED THAT OFF,

THANK YOU.

ACTUALLY...

THE BLINKERS JUST KICKED IN.

OK.

DON'T BE NERVOUS, DREW. EVERYTHING'S GONNA GO GREAT.

YEAH, BUT WHAT DOES SHE WANT?

WHAT AM I GONNA TALK TO HER ABOUT?

SHE'S 80.

WELL, THAT'S NOT SO OLD,

COMPARED TO, SAY, THE OCEAN.

JUST MAKE SMALL TALK.

YEAH, ABOUT WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'LL TALK ABOUT YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS,

AND SHE'LL TALK ABOUT THE FIRST CHRISTMAS.

GOOD LUCK, DREW. BREAK A HIP.

HI. I'M DREW CAREY.

I'M HERE TO SEE MRS. LOUDER.

SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

LOOK, UH, YOU PROBABLY SEE HER EVERY DAY.

DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE?

WELL, IF SHE LIKES YOU, YOU'RE GOLD.

IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU...

I'M MIKE.

WE'LL BE WORKING TOGETHER.

THANK YOU.

MRS. LOUDER?

UH, HI. I'M DREW CAREY.

MR. CAREY!

WATCH IT WITH THE TONGUE, MR. CAREY.

BUT I DIDN'T...

OH! HA HA HA. GOOD ONE.

HA HA. RIGHT BACK AT YA.

I LIKE YOUR LOOK, MR. CAREY.

IT'S COMFORTING.

IT'S AS IF THE FIFTIES NEVER WENT AWAY.

WELL, MAY I JUST SAY, MRS. LOUDER,

WITH YOUR PEACHES AND CREAM COMPLEXION,

IT'S LIKE YOUR FIFTIES NEVER WENT AWAY, EITHER.

AW.

THE FIRST BUTT-KISS OF THE DAY

IS ALWAYS THE SWEETEST.

OH, ALLOW ME.

YOU'RE ONE OF A DYING BREED, MR. CAREY.

SO ARE YOU.

I MEAN, UH...

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME.

OH! IF IT'S ABOUT THE PENS, I'LL PAY YOU BACK.

RELAX, MR. CAREY. THIS ISN'T ABOUT PENS.

YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO OFFER YOU

A NEW POSITION.

OH, A PROMOTION!

WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE ME

OUT TO LUNCH PERSONALLY.

I MEAN, UH, I KNOW IT'S BEEN 7 YEARS,

YOU PROBABLY FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY.

THAT'S ALL WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL JUST EAT A LITTLE EXTRA.

WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.

MR. CAREY,

I'D LIKE YOU TO BECOME MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

HEAD OF PERSONNEL?

OH, YEAH! I'VE WAITED SO LONG!

THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID. I SAID PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID! I JUST WANTED TO FEEL GOOD

FOR 2 LOUSY, STINKING SECONDS!

IT'S A GOOD JOB.

I KNOW IT'S NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED,

BUT IF YOU DO THIS FOR ME,

YOU'LL BECOME HEAD OF PERSONNEL

FASTER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED.

WELL, IT SOUNDS GREAT,

BUT, YOU KNOW, HOW COULD I JUST

GIVE UP MY JOB LIKE THAT?

YOU COULD GIVE UP YOUR JOB FOR ANY NUMBER OF REASONS.

FOR EXAMPLE,

YOU COULD OFFEND MRS. LOUDER.

WELL, CAN I AT LEAST, YOU KNOW, THINK ABOUT IT?

YOU CAN LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU PICK ME UP

FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.

OH, BY THE WAY,

THE POSITION PAYS TWICE WHAT YOU'RE MAKING NOW.

MR. CAREY?

OH, I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST, UH, HOOKING UP MY NEW STEREO.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?

WHAT?

THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.

COME ON, CLEAR OUT!

HEY, DO YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

BOY, DO I?

LOOK AT ALL THESE GAWKERS

FIGHTING FOR A GLIMPSE OF A GLOWING REINDEER.

THEY'VE TOTALLY LOST TOUCH WITH THE TRUE MEANING

OF CHRISTMAS.

THE POP'S 3 BUCKS A CAN.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, TOUGH.

I'M THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN.

OH, GOOD. LIVESTOCK.

HEY, DREW!

YOU GOT ONE OF MY SHEEP?

WHY IS THERE A SHEEP IN MY BACKYARD?

SHE'S PART OF THE LIVE NATIVITY SCENE,

EVERY NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS,

THEN WE SHAVE HER AND EAT HER.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. SHOW'S OVER.

COME ON, CLEAR OUT OF HERE. LET'S GO!

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!

I'M TURNING ON THE SPRINKLERS.

WHOA!

OH, NOW WHAT?

OH, GREAT. I'LL BE SINGING THAT ALL WEEK.

DREW, ARE YOU REALLY LONELY? WHY?

I JUST SAW A HERD OF SHEEP RUNNING FROM YOUR HOUSE.

SO, DREW, HOW'D IT GO WITH MRS. LOUDER?

SHE WANTS ONE OF YOUR LUNGS, RIGHT?

NO.

SHE PUT ME ON THE FAST TRACK

TO BEING HEAD OF PERSONNEL.

WOW. WHAT WOULD YOUR TITLE BE?

UH, YOU KNOW, PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

OH, SO IT'S LIKE DRIVING MISS DAISY.

TIME TO GO TO THE PIGGLY WIGGLY, MISS LOUDER.

NO. YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS A... LIKE A SHORTCUT UP THE CORPORATE LADDER.

IF I COULD JUST SUCK IT UP

FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, I'M IN.

AND YOU WANNA KNOW THE BEST PART?

I CAN START DATING LISA.

I MEAN, THIS IS HUGE.

ARE YOU SURE SHE'S GONNA LET YOU DATE?

I MEAN, WHAT IF YOU HAVE

TO SERVICE THE OLD BROAD?

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

A LOT OF OLDER WOMEN STILL HAVE SEX.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING...

YOU BETTER BE IN SHAPE

'CAUSE IT TAKES THEM A LITTLE LONGER.

SOMETIMES THEY NAP IN THE MIDDLE.

YEAH.

HEY, DREW. GUESS WHAT I AM?

LAWRENCE OF CLEVELAND.

I'M A WISE MAN.

ANY TAKERS?

NO.

OH, THIS CAME FOR YOU TODAY.

I SIGNED FOR IT.

IT CAME LIKE THIS.

OH, YEAH, WAS THERE BARBECUE SAUCE

ALL OVER IT, TOO?

UH, I BETTER GET BACK TO THE MANGER.

SEE YA.

OH...

IT'S FROM MRS. LOUDER.

AND THERE'S A NOTE ATTACHED.

AND IT'S A DIRTY NOTE.

LISTEN TO THIS.

"THE PENIS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD."

GIVE ME THAT.

THAT'S "PEN IS," YOU MORON.

"THIS PARTICULAR PEN BELONGED TO MR. LOUDER.

"I SEE IN YOU MANY OF THE QUALITIES

"I SAW IN HIM.

WELCOME ABOARD. LOVE, DOTTIE."

OH, YEAH.

SHE WANTS SOME DREW CAREY BAD.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY CLASS.

I MEAN, WHY WOULDN'T I TAKE THIS JOB?

IT'S GOOD PAY, GOOD FUTURE, GOOD PEN.

AND GOOD LUCK SAYING NO,

'CAUSE IF I DON'T TAKE THE JOB,

SHE'S GONNA FIRE ME.

WOW. SHE'S REALLY GOT YOU BY THE PEN IS.

OH, YEAH.

AND NOW AT NUMBER 15 IN THE CHRISTMAS

TOP 20 COUNTDOWN

FOR THE 142nd STRAIGHT YEAR,

HARK, THE HERALD ANGELS SING.

AND, OOH, BABY, DO THEY SING.

MAN, WHAT A BASH.

HEY, THANKS FOR INVITING ME, KATE.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER GO TO THE DRUGCO

CHRISTMAS PARTIES ANYMORE.

I MEAN, THE PUNCH IS GOOD,

BUT, UH, MADE ME INVISIBLE.

WHO SAID THAT? I DON'T KNOW.

HO HO HO!

OH, MAN,

WOULD YOU LOOK AT MR. BELL?

SOME SANTA CLAUS.

HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'VE BEEN

SLEEPING, ALL RIGHT,

'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN HE GETS UP

AND MAKES A DASH FOR HIS CAR.

HEY,

LOOK WHO'S HERE...

HAROLD AND MAUDE.

WOW. THE THINGS YOU CAN LEARN

AT A BOARD MEETING.

YOU REALLY CAN CHEAT THE GOVERNMENT

OUT OF EVERYTHING.

AND IT REALLY IS ONLY JUST SUCKERS

LIKE ME THAT PAY TAXES.

DREW, YOU'RE DOING SPLENDIDLY.

IF YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,

I MIGHT EVEN

LET YOU SEE MR. LOUDER'S

CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN HEAD.

I KNEW IT!

THAT'S JUST A JOKE, SWEETIE.

I TOLD HIM I'D DO IT, BUT I NEVER DID.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DREW.

MRS. LOUDER, IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE

TO MEET YOU.

I'M MIMI BOBEK.

OH, MIMI, GUESS WHAT?

I'M WORKING FOR MRS. LOUDER NOW.

YOU ARE?

YEAH. LET'S SEE WHAT MY SECRET SANTA GAVE ME.

NO! I MEAN...

OH, I'VE MADE A MISTAKE.

I MUST'VE BURIED YOUR GIFT.

OH, THIS IS A SQUIRREL I HIT LAST MARCH.

UH, YOUR PRESENT'S OVER THERE UNDERNEATH THE TREE.

MY NEIGHBOR'S SHEEP MADE IT.

MRS. LOUDER, THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU

IN THE CRYSTAL ROOM.

OH, THANK YOU, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE, DREW,

THE BOARD IS ABOUT TO EXCHANGE

THEIR OWN SECRET SANTA GIFTS.

JUST, UH...

DON'T GIVE ME AWAY TO ANYBODY.

OH, YOU LITTLE DEVIL!

SO, WORD HAS IT YOU'RE SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES.

WHAT?

MIMI'S SPREADING IT AROUND THAT YOU'RE MRS. LOUDER'S

NEW BOY TOY.

OH, YEAH?

WOULD, UH, MRS. LOUDER'S BOY TOY DO THIS?

HEY...

WHAT ABOUT ALL YOUR STUPID RULES?

I'M NOT MANAGEMENT ANYMORE.

HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME! I GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

AW, GEE, DREW, WHAT A LOUSY TIME

TO TELL YOU I'M GAY.

SHE'S NOT VERY FUNNY,

BUT SHE'S THE BEST I'M GONNA DO.

YOU KNOW, UH, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

I'M NOT REALLY JEALOUS OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE

LOCKED IN THE BATHROOMS.

AW, YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED INSIDE

YOUR SHARE OF BATHROOMS.

WELL, MAYBE AT HOME.

YOU MEAN, UH, YOU'VE NEVER?

NO.

WELL, UH, YOU WANNA?

YEAH.

SURE, OK.

COME ON.

UH, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SEX, RIGHT?

EXCUSE ME.

UH, HAVE YOU SEEN DREW?

I LEFT SOME GIFTS IN THE CAR,

AND I NEED HIM TO HELP ME.

UH, NO, BUT I'D BE HAPPY

TO HELP YOU.

I'M KATE O'BRIEN.

AND, BY THE WAY, LET ME TELL YOU

WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS TO MEET

A FELLOW BUSINESSWOMAN,

SOMEONE WHO'S BROKEN THROUGH THE GLASS CEILING

AND SHOWERED THE REST OF US

WITH THE POINTY SHARDS

OF HER SUCCESS.

CAN YOU SEE ME?

LISTEN, KIDS...

KIDS, THERE'S SOME FREE CABS DOWNSTAIRS.

HELP YOURSELVES.

FREE CABS?

WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS

TO YOU, TOO, MRS. LOUDER.

LISTEN, THERE'S NO SMOKING HERE.

BELL'S OFFICE HAS A WINDOW THAT OPENS. COME ON.

HA HA HA! SHH!

THANK YOU, SANTA.

PARDON ME, MRS. LOUDER.

I THINK I FOUND DREW.

HE'S IN MR. BELL'S OFFICE.

OH, THANK YOU.

BELL!

MRS. LOUDER, I... I... I CAN EXPLAIN.

JERRY, I'M SHOCKED.

THIS IS A FAMILY BUSINESS.

UH, CAN WE PLEASE

TALK ABOUT THIS IN PRIVATE?

FINE, BUT I'M NOT GOING IN THERE.

UH...

AAH! AAH!

DREW!

CAREY?

SANTA?

HO HO HO!

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT OUR TOY DEPARTMENT

WHERE THIS AFTERNOON EVERYTHING IS 10% OFF.

RIGHT, TRIXIE?

THAT'S RIGHT, MR. CLAUS.

SANTA PIG.

DEVIL ELF.

OH, BOO HOO.

SO LOUDER KICKED YOU BACK TO YOUR CUBICLE.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,

AND I'M STUCK HERE EVERY LUNCH TILL CHRISTMAS.

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

YOU'RE LUCKY BELL DIDN'T FIRE YOU

FOR GETTING HIM IN TROUBLE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

HEY, THE ROOM WAS DARK.

I SAW A FAT MAN STRIKING OUT WITH A WOMAN.

I ASSUMED IT WAS YOU.

UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT AREN'T THE ELVES

SUPPOSED TO BE SMALLER THAN SANTA?

HERE YOU GO, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HERE YOU GO.

HEY.

HEY.

IT WAS WORTH IT, WASN'T IT?

OH, YEAH.

SURE WAS.

UH, SAME TIME NEXT YEAR?

YEAH.

SAME PLACE?

NO.

YOU SURE MRS. LOUDER WON'T MIND US DOING THIS?

HEY, SHE SAID FREE CAB RIDES HOME.

AND SHE DIDN'T SAY WHAT ROUTE WE HAD TO TAKE.

CHICAGO SURE WAS FUN.

MM-HMM.

I REALLY ENJOYED PHANTOM.

HMM, I THINK THE CABBIE DID, TOO.

IT'S KINDA COLD HERE, THOUGH.

I THINK IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE WARMER DOWN SOUTH,

UH... RIGHT AROUND GRACELAND.

Lewis: GRACELAND!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE www.ncicap.org...