Original subtitles

♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo... ♪

I don't understand why we have to drive seven hours to see a psychiatrist.

Because... we want the best care possible for you.

When Jules was eleven years old,

her mother took her on a road trip.

♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪

♪ Oh, oh! ♪

- Wasn't Dali, like, a sexual predator? - Was he?

I hadn't heard that before.

Would you like me to take it down?

No. It's a cool painting.

It is a cool painting.

He was actually really sweet, though.

They talked for over an hour,

and only later did Jules realize that she hadn't lied once.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

After the session, they wanted to give her a tour of the Unit.

Well, what's the Unit? Think of it like a second home,

where children can learn how to feel better about themselves.

Okay.

Let me give you a tour.

So, this is our common area,

where we have group sessions,

watch movies, play games,

have art class.

Um, on Tuesdays we have canine therapy.

Uh, Thursdays we have music therapy.

- Dr. Kay! - Allan!

Suck my dick, you fucking cunt!

Allan!

Usually there's two to a room,

depending on how many patients are with us.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

So the kids live here?

For short periods of time.

And this is the quiet room.

I'm gonna fucking rape you, Dr. Kay!

You just bought yourself

another 30 minutes in the quiet room, Jesse.

It was around then when Jules thought

she had just about had enough of the tour.

I think I wanna go home.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

And that's when Jules realized,

this wasn't a tour at all.

It was an elaborate plan to admit her

to a fucking psychiatric hospital.

Mom! Mom!

No, no, no, no, no!

No! No! No!

During the ensuing struggle, Jules accidentally

scratched an RA across the face,

which she felt really guilty about.

But quickly, that guilt turned into anger...

and that anger, into defeat.

Hi. I'm Jules.

- How are you feeling? - Better.

Good. Good.

Why don't you tell the group a little about yourself and why you're here.

I don't know.

Maybe because I was, like, sad for a really long time.

What do you mean by a long time?

Maybe since I was seven or eight or something.

And I've been to see, like, a bunch of doctors.

I've been on, like, a bunch of medications,

but nothing's really helped, so...

Maybe these mitts will do the trick.

And, Jules, do you self-injure?

The truth was, Jules hated herself.

She hated how her brain worked...

the way it would get stuck on a thought,

like choking.

All right. Keep present.

And it would just play on an infinite loop,

until she couldn't think

or breathe or stand to be alive.

This is hard, Jules. You're going to get through it, okay?

She didn't just hate her brain, though.

She hated her body, not every part,

just her shoulders, and her arms,

and her hands.

Also her chest, her stomach, her thighs.

Her knees were the worst.

Plus her ankles, and her big, fucking, stupid feet.

She hated her life, not because it was bad,

but because when you hate your brain and your body,

it's hard to enjoy the rest.

So, Jules developed a few coping mechanisms.

None of them healthy, and a few scary enough to land her in...

So, how are you liking the Unit?

It's okay.

- Are you making any friends? - Not really.

Well, that'll change.

Wait. Can you leave me the rest?

Sure.

- This guy did some damage. - Allan?

I did something really stupid.

Is everything okay?

I'm so sorry.

Please don't be mad at me.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

Eventually Jules got better and came home.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

But her mom got worse and went away.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

And her dad quit his job to be closer to home,

which she liked, 'cause she loved her dad.

By 13, she started to transition.

And by 16, Jules had gotten a little slutty.

And every guy was the same:

cis, white, married,

engaged, in long-term relationships,

and always, always...

I mean, I'm a hundred percent straight.

Um, cool.

So do you like top?

- No. - Cool.

'Cause that's, like, not my thing.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

- Some were sweet. - Some were weird.

And a few were aggressive.

Spit.

And whenever anything got too uncomfortable...

...Jules would just imagine that she wasn't really herself,

and this wasn't really her life.

She was just a character in a book or a movie or a show.

That none of it was real, and if it was, how did it matter?

It's not like her body ever really belonged to her in the first place.

But fuck it. She'd save it for the memoirs.

'Cause that was the night she met her new best friend.

And although she had never really been in a relationship

or even in, like, love,

she imagined spending the rest of her life with her.

How they'd live together in some shitty New York apartment,

and maybe date other people, but always sleep in the same bed.

She even said it to her once, which was probably a mistake,

for, like, a lot of reasons.

Plus, that was before she fell for Tyler,

like, hard, like, really hard.

What are you smiling about?

I don't know. Just... life.

♪ I never felt so alone ♪

♪ Felt so alone, no, no, no ♪

♪ And I never felt so alone ♪

♪ Felt so alone, no, no, no ♪

There's nothing I'm really passionate about.

You know, like, I'm not dying to say or do anything, really.

And every time I admit that to people,

they're like, "Oh, my gosh, that's so sad." But...

I think that's the case for most people.

You know? Like, when I look at my mom or...

like, the kids at my school...

like, their profiles or their posts and their Tumblr rants...

you realize they're all just fucked up, too... and lost.

They just have a reason to mask it...

whether it be, like, their, their families

or their boyfriends or their hashtag activism.

And they're just reaching for something

- to make it all seem meaningful. - Rue...

But sometimes I just sit and think...

- Rue. Rue. - ...like, what's the point?

Rue, I don't give a shit.

- Why'd you call me? - Honestly...

I didn't really have anybody else to call.

Well, what happened to make you call?

Um...

you know...

just like...

Open the fucking door!

Fuck!

...just the usual bullshit.

Rue, you know that drug addicts don't reach out for help

unless there's no options.

So what happened?

Um...

I was with my best friend.

Okay, well, she's... I mean, she's a new friend,

but we hang out every day.

And, um...

It's stupid. It's stupid.

- What? - I just...

I misread... the whole situation.

And now it's gonna be really, really, really...

really fucking awkward.

And I guess that

hanging out with her was...

was the best thing that's happened to me in a while, so...

Does the way in which you feel about her remind you of anything?

- What do you mean? - You know, like... the obsession,

the feelings, the withdrawal.

What, like drugs?

Bingo.

Okay, but this is a good thing.

Didn't drugs feel real good the first time you tried 'em?

Shit.

♪ Everybody now is doin' their thing ♪

Yeah. It's gon' be a good night, tonight, man.

Let's get this money.

♪ If you wanna have a good time ♪

♪ Just grab your partner and step on a line ♪

What's good, bro?

Fuck.

You wanna go on the Gravitron? Uh, no.

- The Ferris wheel? - Nope.

Why? Because I don't wanna die.

Where are you? I'm standing by the fucking Ferris wheel.

I don't see you.

Why do you always do this to me?

- Whoa! Whoa! Aah! - We're gonna die, die!

Oh, my God.

Stop! Stop!

Stop! You're rocking the fucking thing.

- You're rocking... - Oh, my God.

Yo, are you at this Ferris wheel or that Ferris wheel?

Well, how the fuck am I supposed to know which one you're at?

You don't fucking tell me...

Yeah, I know, I know. I'm on my way. I...

How am I supposed to know that there's two Ferris wheels?

Yo, why are dressed like a hooker? What?

Jesus Christ, Maddy. I'm here with my parents.

- So what? It's the carnival. - No. It's the chili cook-off.

It's very important. I can't have you hanging out at the booth dressed like that.

Yeah, well maybe it'll sell better.

Yo, this isn't a fucking joke, okay?

Why are you being like this?

- Listen, my parents already don't like you. - What?

Go home, get changed,

and come back looking like a person. Fuck.

Well, did you break up again? No.

- Looks like you broke up again. - No, we didn't.

If you ask me, she's a distraction.

Hurry up, guy, go!

- Oh! - Ew!

Hold on.

Oh, my God. Jules!

Come!

Hands and feet inside the ride unless you want to die.

- Hey. - Hey.

I'm really fucking scared.

Oh, no!

- Hi. - Hey.

- I missed you. - I missed you, too.

Um, I think she's in love with her.

Really?

Yeah, like... Rue is in love with Jules, I think.

- Are you mad at me? - No. No, no.

Are you mad at me?

- No. - Okay.

Don't you think?

I hadn't really thought about it.

Oh. I don't know.

Can we just pretend like what I did wasn't super-weird?

- It wasn't weird. It... - It was weird, but...

we don't have to talk about it.

Talk about what?

- Nothing. - Right.

Okay, um... Anyway, I'm gonna go catch some friends.

- All right. - Okay.

- Uh-oh. Mr. Jacobs. - Oh!

- Stingray McKay. - I see you...

I see what you got going on over here. All right, chili.

Let me get some.

- Yo, what's up, brother? - How you doin', man?

Yo.

What are you... Are you guys, like, in a relationship?

- Nah, we're just chillin'. - Are you just chillin'?

Yeah, we're chillin'.

Okay.

- Okay. - Why haven't I seen you on the field?

Uh...

Just freshmen got to earn their due, that's all.

You take that attitude, you'll spend the rest of your life on the bench.

It's really not that big of a deal, Mr. Jacobs. It's just the first season.

No, it is a big deal.

You got one of the best slide-steps I've ever seen.

You've got promise. You've got talent.

You're not pushing yourself hard enough.

Dad, I think McKay's gonna be just fine.

I'm just trying to help him keep a girl like her.

Why? It's not like we're in a relationship.

- Plus, I don't even care about football. - Whoa.

It's not just football.

It's life.

It's about maintaining your focus.

It's about putting your all into everything you do.

Why do you think I have the business I have?

Why do think I have the family I have?

The success that I have?

Why do think this chili

has been voted best chili in the county five years in a row?

'Cause you refuse to lose.

No.

It's about who you want to become in the world.

I'm just lookin' out for you.

- Bye. - Cassie.

What the fuck is her problem?

Come on, bro.

Yo, Cass. Cass.

Cass, stop.

Why would you say that?

That we're just chillin'?

It's not that big of a deal, Cass. It's a figure of speech.

- It is a big deal. - It's really not.

You literally just told me that you loved me.

What does that have to do with anything?

You just told Nate that we're not even in a fucking relationship.

That's because I know the guy. He's just gonna talk shit.

- Like what? - Like about you.

Or whatever, Cassie.

What do you mean, whatever?

Like whatever the fuck you've done.

What have I done, McKay?

Look, I don't want to talk about this right now, Cass.

We're in the middle of a fucking carnival.

I don't know what you're talking about.

It's not like it's that big of a fucking secret, Cassie.

You know what? It's cool.

We should just call it a night. I got to get back, anyway.

So, what you was lookin' for?

Molly.

Oh. She over there workin' at the pretzel stand.

Thank you.

Hey.

- Hey. - You're not having fun?

- No. - Yeah, me, neither.

You wanna do Molly?

Welcome to Pretzelmania. Can I take your order?

How many pretzels do you want?

- We don't eat carbs. - Two, please.

That'll be forty.

So, you think Nate's cheating on you?

I don't know. He's just been acting super-weird lately.

Have you gone through his phone?

I've never not gone through someone's phone.

Bitch, you're my soul mate.

Thank you.

Yo, what's going on with you and McKay?

I thought you two were in love.

Nate asked McKay if were were in a relationship,

and McKay said that we were just chillin'.

- What? - Yeah.

Honestly, fuck them both.

Right?

Okay, so if I tell you something,

you swear on your fucking life you won't say a word?

Yeah. What?

I went through Nate's phone.

And it was weird.

- Oh, my fucking God. - What?

- That's him. - Who?

The guy.

- What guy? - The one from the motel.

Okay, what guy are we looking at, exactly?

Okay, the one in the apron, serving the chili.

I swear to God.

No fucking way. Jules, do you know who that is?

- Yeah, the guy from the motel. - That's Cal Jacobs.

- Who's that? - Nate Jacobs's dad.

- That's Nate's dad? - Yes, that's Nate's dad.

- No fucking way! - Yes, fucking way.

- You're full of shit. - No way.

You're full of shit.

Do you... Do you know who he is?

He fucking owns half this town. He built it.

All the apartment buildings past Kemper, they're his.

- Rue, I swear to God. - There's no way.

- That's the guy I fucked. - There's no way.

Bullshit.

I'm being a hundred percent serious.

- You... You don't believe me? - No, actually.

- I don't. - Okay. Watch.

- Excuse me, sir. - Hmm?

Hi. Can I help you?

Uh, can I please have a small cup of chili?

Yeah, sure.

Oh.

Shoot.

Sorry.

Uh, it... it's okay. It was my fault.

I'll get you another cup.

Hi. It's two dollars. All the proceeds go to the football team.

Uh... cool.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Yo, Nate, who was that?

Her name's Jules. She's new here.

She goes to East Highland?

Yeah. She's a junior.

Damn. That's jailbait.

That's too bad.

...nuts! Why the fuck did you let me do that?

I didn't let you do that! You just fucking...

- You just did it. - You went over there and you did it.

Did you see that his hands were fucking shaking?

- Yes, and then he dropped... - And then he fucking dropped the chili!

- Oh, my God. - He dropped the fucking chili.

Oh, he dropped the fucking chili. And then he...

And then you looked at me.

Yeah, because I was screaming inside.

Yeah, well, that made him fucking look at me.

- He looked at me in the fucking eyes. - I'm sorry.

I feel so bad. That was literally the meanest thing

- I've ever done. - Oh, shit, hold on. It's my mom.

Hey, Mom.

Yeah. Yeah, no.

Well, because she's been in the Gravitron for like 20 straight minutes.

Yes, yes. I promise. We will be home by ten.

Okay, I love you, too.

Apparently, Gia's not answering her phone.

Uh... It's just going straight to voicemail.

It burns.

It's so weird to think that, like,

no matter what happens,

the universe is just out here giving, like, zero fucks.

Wow.

You look super cute. Thanks. You, too. I love that shirt.

Thank you. Even though I have the same body as Bruno Mars.

- Shut up, you look hot. - No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't, 'cause these right here, they're cutlets.

No, they're not. Trust me, these guys are super chill, okay?

Do not worry.

- Your mom's, like, all organic, right? - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- There's your issue. - What do you mean?

Uh, organic food doesn't have any good hormones.

You got to get her to buy, like, the regular stuff, okay?

What's the regular stuff?

Trust me. Oh, and milk, and milk. No!

- I hate milk! - At least three glasses a day. Three glasses.

That's how I went from a small A to a full B.

Mm-hmm.

- Fine, I'll try it. - I'm telling you.

- You got to do it. - How old are the boys again?

They're, like, our age. Yeah.

That's a lot.

- I know. - They are so good.

Right?

I could drink these, like, every day of my life.

Yes. Uh, how 'bout you grab another slushie,

I go get more tickets, and then get super drunk and ride the Ferris wheel?

Deal.

- Okay. - Okay. All right.

All right.

- Thank you. - No problem.

Just tell your sister I really need her

- to cover my shift on Wednesday. - Okay.

For real. She's not answering any of my texts.

I promise you I will say something.

I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend's family for the first time.

It's really important.

Yeah, I got you.

Thank you. You're the best.

Honestly, fuck that whole family. For real.

'Cause right now I'm looking at a thousand versions of myself,

and not only do I look good, I fucking feel good.

- It's a bitch. - So, if they've got something to say,

they should just say it to my face, right?

Or you could just say it to their fucking face.

Right?

That's what I would do.

- I feel like this is a turning point. - Totally.

We should just pick the hottest,

most confident, bad bitch version of ourselves,

and be that for the rest of the school year.

Yo.

And this year's winner of the chili cook-off is...

Cal Jacobs!

Make it six years and running!

Yeah, I'm not supposed to be here right now,

because I'm dressed like a hooker,

and none of you like me,

but I just wanted to say congratulations.

Maddy, get out of...

Ooh!

What in God's name is your problem?

You, cunt.

- Hey. - 'Sup, Cass?

You wanna ride the carousel?

Cool.

Shit. She's not answering.

- It's just going straight to voicemail. - I mean, she can't be too far.

Well, I have to get her home in like, 30 minutes.

- Gia! - Gia!

Excuse me. Sorry.

Gia!

- Gia! - Gia!

Fuck. Okay. Uh...

It'd be faster if we split up.

- Yeah. Okay. Text me. Thank you. - Okay.

I'm not gonna let you fucking embarrass me

like that again, I swear to fucking God.

Shut the fuck up! I'm fucking done with you!

- I'm so fucking done with you. - So what else is new?

- I'm not fucking joking. - Yeah, fucking right.

Calling my mom a cunt. What the fuck is actually wrong

- with your fucking brain? - I think you're overreacting.

You're fucking dead to me.

Fuck you.

- I do have one question, though. - Yo, what?

Man, I'm telling you, that girl has some real, fucking issues.

I have to use the bathroom.

Gia!

Gia!

Gia!

Got an extra cigarette?

Damn, you're so fucking hot.

I could ride the carousel for hours!

- Emma. Yo. - Yo, Rue. What up?

- Have you seen Gia? - Yeah, like, over there.

- Over where? Where is she? - You know. Like, the Gravitron.

- Is she in the Gravitron? - No, she's like, by it.

I... I really have to pee.

Gia!

Gia!

Gia!

Aren't you Luke Kasten?

Yeah.

You used to go to East Highland, right?

Yeah, like, fuckin' forever ago.

I used to hear stories about you, like, all the time in middle school.

Oh, yeah? What kind of stories?

That you had a...

have a really big dick and fucked every girl in your grade.

Basically.

That's cool.

How old are you?

Sixteen.

I'm just saying, as your girlfriend,

those pictures are a little suspicious.

It's not what it looks like.

Yeah? Well, then, explain to me why you have

someone else's dick in your phone.

It's really fucking complicated.

How many reasons could there be?

I can't explain it to you right now.

Yeah, what does that mean?

Look, I'm going through a lot of shit right now.

I need... I just... I need you to promise me

that you're not gonna tell a soul.

I am not gonna tell anyone, I promise.

- Like, on your life. - Yeah, on my life.

I'm sorry I got so angry at you before.

I am sorry.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Maddy, I love you.

I got a lot of sh...

a lot of shit going on right now and I'm really confused.

I don't know what to do.

Mmm!

Ho, ho, ho. Nasty!

Gia!

What the hell? I've been calling you.

Rue.

- Are you stoned right now? - Nah. Um-mm.

- We're just chillin'. - Yeah, that's my sister.

- Yo, Roy. - What's up?

This is Rue's little sis.

Oh, yeah. I knew that by the way she was hittin' the weed.

That's me.

All right, Gia, get up. Let's go.

- What do you mean, let's go? - You see we're having

a funky good time.

- That's great. - I'm having the best time.

- We need to go, now. - We having the best time.

Gia, get the fuck up and let's go.

I'm not playing with you. Let's go. Wow.

What'd you do? Decide to just clean up,

- and, like, oh, I wanna become a mom? Like... - Right?

Relax. Gia, get the fuck up. Let's go.

- Now. - Mom. What's your problem, Mom?

Hey, if she's a mom, you know she a MILF.

Get up.

Yo, for real. When'd you become such a bitch?

Excuse me?

Was it after you fuckin' OD'd?

Yeah. It's good. I know it's only weed,

but you might get addicted.

Get up.

Just hope you don't get addicted again.

All I'm saying is, if I were you,

I wouldn't be taking advice from her.

Yo. Text me.

Don't do that shit again, all right?

You fucking scared me.

Hey.

Look, I know you have the power to ruin my life right now.

I'm begging you,

pleading with you,

please don't.

I know you already told your friend. I saw her look at me.

She won't tell anyone.

- I promise. - 'Cause if this ever came out,

I'd lose everything. I'd lose everything.

I'll do whatever you want me to do.

I have no intention of, like, hurting you or anything.

I'm sorry about earlier.

That was kind of dumb.

That's okay.

I just wanted to...

It won't be a thing.

- Don't worry. - Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Where were you?

What's wrong?

I just think the Molly's, like, way too strong or something.

So... did you come?

No.

Uh, do you think Mom's gonna be

sitting in the living room when we get there?

- No, she won't. - Okay.

Because, if, um...

If I walked in there, I wouldn't know what to say.

- I wouldn't say hi. - No, she's... She's gonna be in her bed.

Trust me. Look, I need you, when we get home,

to just go straight to your room and hide under the covers. Okay?

Just let me deal with her.

Wh-what are you gonna tell her?

I don't know yet.

What are you laughing at?

You good?

Come here.

She's still a little sick from riding the Gravitron so many times.

- Should I check on her? - Oh, no. It's good. I got it.

Thank you for looking out for her tonight.

- Of course. - Love you.

- Love you, too. Good night, Mom. - Good night.

Hey. Shut the door.

Hey.

Tyler?

No. No!

No, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not.

I'm not here to hurt you.

I know that you have these ideas about me,

based on the first time that we met, and I understand that.

But I'm not the person that you met that night.

Can you let go of me?

You know, over the past few weeks...

I've spent...

every moment of every day getting to know you.

At night...

I fall asleep to you.

And in the morning...

I wake up to you.

I kind of feel closer to you than I do to anyone in the whole world.

I don't trust you, Nate.

I don't trust you, either.

Open your mouth. Nate...

Wider.

Nate. Nate, stop.

God, are you broken inside.

And that's precisely why I don't trust you.

Because you're so broken you don't even trust yourself.

And that's scary.

Not just for you, but for me.

And for my entire family.

I wouldn't answer that. You're gonna wanna hear this.

Over the last three weeks,

you have knowingly produced and distributed child pornography.

Including obscene images that were taken on school property.

I've compiled all these photos,

along with an IP address, and an account that's linked to your name.

I don't know if you're familiar with child pornography laws in this state.

But they apply to minors just as they apply to adults.

I sent them to you.

No. You sent them

to an account of a person that doesn't fucking exist.

And I mean, anyone can anonymously report child pornography, right?

- Then I'd tell them everything. - Okay.

You could do that, but, um...

here's what would definitely happen.

You'd end up on a sex offenders list.

It means no more college.

It's gonna be very fucking difficult to find a job.

And everywhere you go,

for the rest of your life,

you'll be harassed, and spat at,

and treated like a fucking animal.

You deserve better than that. 'Cause I know you.

You're kind.

You're smart. You're generous.

You got a big heart.

You deserve whatever the fuck it is in this world that you want.

So keep your head down.

Keep your mouth shut.

Don't try to ruin my life,

and I won't have to ruin yours.

You know what I think?

I think you're a fucking faggot, just like your daddy.

You have a nice night.

- Hey. - Hey. Do you think I could, uh, sleep over?

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Come on.

Is everything okay?

Um...

Here.

So how'd the date go with Tyler?

Um...

He didn't look like his picture.

Come here.

Are you sure you're okay?

What?