Original subtitles

That's two mochas, a flat white with an extra shot.

Freshly ground Columbian brew.

We're offering eight lattes for 80, if you order before 8pm.

And have you heard of our loyalty card programme?

We don't sell coffee. We sell coffee.

No, I... I can see the confusion.

I think you might be better off popping into a cafe?

Good? For now.

Place your bets.

Lady Gabby's doing well.

I got this totally random text out of nowhere

with all these coffee code words.

Turns out they were offering some top drawer Charlie Chang.

This mystery text, good service, was it?

Oh, superlative, mate.

Ask Her Ladyship if she needs any jazz salt

and I'll pass on the details

because we both get a discount, if she uses my code name.

What's your code name? The Panty Patrol.

Someone will be along shortly.

OK, thank you. Thanks for your business and tell all your friends.

Oh, my God, you're so disgusting!

Es?

Urgh!

Dealing is wrong. You know this.

Never forget that.

Now, be wise, stay in school all the way till the end,

until you're 18.

Don't risk your education for anything.

Drugs don't love you

and they will take you away from everyone who does love you.

Hey, Myrna,

we're all in agreement with the "drugs are bad" thing,

but can you turn their lives around

after we've paid back The Dean and avoided certain death?

Right, I want you to give one of these to everyone who buys from you.

And don't just dump them in the bin.

I will know.

We need more staff. Staff?

Bigger demand means bigger workload.

We need to recruit more runners.

Are you serious?

Look, I can't be ruining no more kids' lives.

How else are we going to deal with the demand?

We really need to do this?

I'm sorry. I don't know.

I just...

It's just four weeks.

Four more weeks.

How are you finding things in here?

My masseuse ain't great but Margarita Wednesday's a sweet touch.

Who's running your line, while you're inside?

You got any pull with the governor?

Have you been doing business with someone called The Dean?

Plumbing in here is proper old-school,

so when anyone on the floors above yanks their flush,

their shit bubbles up into the toilet in my cell.

It's like brown lava.

Nasty ain't the word.

I could have a word about a transfer...

..if you tell me about The Dean.

It's aight.

I'll get used to having a shit volcano in the corner of my bedroom.

I'll call it...

..CRAPatoa.

How about them?

No, no, no, I'll speak to them.

Kids get intimidated by adults, so a woman's less threatening.

Hello. Um, I was wondering if I could ask you a quick question?

Um...

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

In your vagina.

You're a disgusting young man.

You want me to show you how disgusting?

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

Let me.

Do you lot want to make some money?

Do we have to hold your thing?

Brook Hill are recruiting, right now.

Anyone that you bring to us that we take on, earn yourself a fiver.

You've got one hour or the deal's off.

What are you waiting for?

Mr Halloran,

I don't see anything on your CV about computer experience.

Why is that?

Well, I mean...

..can a computer sell fully floating two-piece brake rotors

to the Swedish World Rally team?

We're developing AI algorithms that can, yes.

Which is why I've recently purchased a Toshiba laptop...

..voted Which? magazine's best mid-price all-rounder,

two years in a row.

You all know what working for Brook Hill entails, right?

Are you Jamie Honeywell's nephew?

Later, then.

Hey.

What's up?

What's wrong with him?

His uncle's a fed.

But we need bodies. No, we can't just take anyone.

But...

Can you give me an example of a conflict you've experienced at work

and how you resolved it amicably?

Yeah. Actually, yes.

A lady at work was asking for endless days off.

She said she had long Covid

and I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as you do,

then saw her abseiling at Chessington World of Adventures.

And how did you resolve this conflict amicably?

Fired her.

It was fine, though. She had a zero-hours contract, so...

How old are you? I'm eight.

Ten.

Get to school!

I mean it. Go!

Bye.

I don't think you're quite right for us

but feel free to grab a Nespresso on the way out.

Nah.

Come on, B. No, not you, Tyler.

I done this before, I know the drill.

I'm a hard worker, punctual, and I got my own bike.

No.

Why? Because I don't trust you. OK.

Can I speak to you, please?

Why can't we use him?

We're going to run out of people at this rate.

Tyler is 18. If he gets nabbed, he's going to do time.

Plus, he's not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.

OK, well, we're not auditioning for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

We need drug runners, people who can count in tens and run fast.

Trust me, we don't want him.

OK, but we need him!

Tyler, you're in.

All right, step up.

Come take your phone.

What are you doing? Have you never painted a door before?

No. Half the time, I don't open them for myself.

Well, that's not how you do it. Give it here.

Right, look.

You get about a centimetre of paint on the end of the brush, all right?

And we're going to go up.

Pull up, pull up, pull up.

Understand? Not really. Could you show me again?

Right, look and learn.

We're pulling up, we're pulling up, we're pulling up.

Nice and neat, yeah?

Hello?

Hi, yes. Can I place a coffee order, please, for delivery?

What do you want?

The cleanest way to wash and transfer this money

to The Dean's Swiss account is to set up a shell company.

Well, we need an offshore tax haven for that, don't we?

Gibraltar or Virgin Islands or something.

You'd think so, but those places have tightened up the rules.

We need somewhere that doesn't bother with their due diligence.

Like Azerbaijan?

Britain. Britain?

We're one of the best places in the world for fraud.

This country really doesn't bother with all that expensive,

time-consuming due diligence stuff.

So, I went on the Companies House website,

and for £12, I set up a company.

And since 11am, we've been trading as Laycock Logistical Services.

You're welcome.

Right.

But it's not all good news.

I was thinking, why don't I take you to the beach tomorrow?

We don't have time for a mini-break.

It's just for the day, just to get away, get a bit of perspective.

It's nothing big. But I have so much to do,

and what if we're needed suddenly? Then...

Rani, you can take the afternoon off

to spend some time with your boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Aren't I?

We just haven't used those words before.

Yeah, I know, but...

..we care about each other.

We share a flat, beds.

Are you not my girlfriend?

Yeah?

Oi, Bonnie and Clyde, problem.

When we come to the lock, that is a different kettle of fish.

OK, I'm going to keep it low, keep it loose, keep those hips loose...

..and really simple, clean line down, creep off.

Creep and pull off. Yep, creep and pull off.

Excuse me, excuse me. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Have you got a permit?

What is going on here?

You're bringing in too much money.

You're like the West Country Pablo Escobar and her boyfriend.

We can't put it all through Casino's and Gabby's client account

without drawing attention.

We need to diversify, find a third way to launder all this cash.

OK. So, what's your plan?

I don't know. I ran out of ideas after Laycock Logistical Services.

Get out of here!

I'm going to put out a tweet that will shred you.

What is the matter with her?

You come back tomorrow and...

All right, stop!

Can you believe this?

After all our hard work.

What?

The council is selling this place

to some telecommunication corporate arsewipes,

so they can demolish it and build a mobile phone mast.

I mean, guys, I love my mobile phone

but we have spent ages renovating this place.

I've told them we're going to do a demo here tomorrow.

We are going to bring down the media and we are going to raise a stink.

Who is with me? Greg? Yes, obviously.

Is he?

We all have a lot on our plates at the moment.

We need to save this place from developers.

We're not the Goonies.

What?

Myrna, I mean, you're on my side, right?

We'll get your group on board.

Yeah, I mean, I can bring it up at a meeting, but as Rani says,

I've got a lot on my plate at the moment.

What's wrong with you?!

Ben?

We are going to the beach tomorrow.

The beach?

Diane?

Well, in order to organise a demonstration,

you need to give the police written notice at least 24 hours before.

You've only got 19 hours left.

So, if you did do that, I would have to take you down.

Why does nobody care about this?

We could raise the funds and buy the place ourselves.

I am so disappointed in all of you.

I thought we were a team.

Yeah?

Is that the Panty Patrol?

Speaking.

Coffee delivery.

Yo, hang loose, my G. Let me get your money.

Come in, shut the door, man.

150, there you go, mate.

Sweet watch, bruv. What is it, a Rollie?

Thanks, bruv. It's actually a Patek Philippe.

It's actually worth a bit more than a Rolex.

Where do you buy a watch like that?

I didn't buy it. It used to belong to my grandfather.

But you know what they say, you don't own one of these,

you just look after them for the next owner.

Hah.

Yeah, which is me, innit?

I'm sorry, what?

I'm the next owner.

So, give me my watch and I own that laptop

and how much cash have you got in here? Cos I own all of that, too.

OK, that's... Yeah, honestly, take whatever you need, mate.

Take whatever you need.

We could use social media presence to raise awareness,

which I would be happy to do.

What is going on?

I'm just bringing everyone up to speed with our campaign.

What campaign? To save the community centre, as we discussed.

We didn't discuss anything.

I said I would bring it up with the group.

And that's what I'm doing.

Greg.

Well, the 2012 Localism Act means that a group like yours

can "stop the clock" on the sale

and nominate it as an "asset of community value",

which allows you time to prepare a bid,

so you can actually buy it yourselves

for the "wider benefit of the community".

One - can you "stop doing that"?

And two - what would we do with a building like that?

Open a community hub.

Rehab centre, pre-natal advice, groups for local kids.

It's a great idea.

Yeah, well, obviously, but how do we buy a building?

Fundraising.

It was Greg's idea.

Oh, was it, now?

We are planning a demo for tomorrow.

Right, well, you can't do that.

Because you need to give the police 24 hours written notice

before you can have a demonstration.

Since when do you care about the police?

Has anyone thought about the optics?

Optics?

An over-privileged white woman, no offence,

fronting a black civil rights organisation.

She wouldn't be fronting it.

She'd be an enthusiastic celebrity supporter

with a million followers on social media.

It is 1.2 million.

Right, so, that's what we've become now, have we?

Getting into bed with fame whores.

No offence.

These days, any campaign has to cut through the noise

to the wider public. Her Ladyship could help us with that.

Just think of the fundraising potential. No.

I am the Director of the BJC

and, no, I am too uneasy about this.

Then we have to put it to the vote.

All those in favour?

Yeah.

Greg, can I have a word?

What are you doing?!

Gabby is the only thing that links me to that stolen money

and you're bringing her down here

with some crazy idea about buying the community centre.

Yeah, because this is how we launder the rest of the drug money. What?

Brownie? Oh, brownie, yeah, thanks very much. Lovely.

No, thanks, Beth.

You're right. A moment on the lips, a lifetime...

Off your tits.

That's Acid Beth.

Eat one of her brownies, you ain't coming down for days.

Now, what were you saying about laundering money?

Right, look, BJC fundraise to save the community centre, all right?

Real people make cash donations, all right?

A fiver here, a quid there.

To those real donations, we add the drug money,

mix 'em all together, give 'em a good wash,

pay that into the BJC account,

and then, transfer out what we need to Laycock Logistical Services.

No! I am not using the BJC to wash dirty money.

We need an organisation that regularly deposits big sums of cash

into the bank without causing suspicion.

Claire is already suspicious of everything I do.

How do I explain this?

You don't have to explain it. You just make me the BJC treasurer.

Say that Gabby demands that

her lawyer has independent financial oversight.

Yeah, right, cos that sounds like her.

Grant me access to the BJC account, I'll take care of the whole thing.

Plus, Gabby was right.

Do we really want to see that building torn down

after all the work we've done?

No, that could be a community hub, owned and operated by the BJC,

helping the people of Bristol.

That could be a real thing.

That could be our legacy.

My legacy. No, our legacy.

So, this may be nothing but a bloke just came in,

says he was robbed at knife-point

and the thief just walks in the front door, no mask, nothing.

All sounds a bit suspect.

What do you think?

Drug buy gone wrong?

Mm. That's what I'm wondering.

Let's go.

Got a favourite criminal, or...?

No? No, sir.

I'm a Shipman guy.

Hello, sir. I'm Detective Sergeant Haines.

This is Detective Sergeant Selforth.

We understand you've been robbed.

Yeah, yeah. Utter ball-ache but, you know, these things happen.

I just need someone to rubber-stamp a report for my insurance claim.

How did the thief gain entry into your home, sir?

He... he rang the door bell and... and I opened the door.

So, you know the thief.

No.

Then, why'd you let him in?

The poor lad said he was out and about

and got caught short and he needed to use the toilet.

Couldn't he just pee in an alley or something?

Yeah, he could've, um...

..but he said he needed more than a pee.

So, you let a teenage boy into your house to take a shit?

I did. That's very kind of you.

Yeah, which is why this all just hurts so much

cos I... I feel used.

So, I assume this thief,

if he was just in your house to take a dump, didn't have a mask on?

No. So, you got a good look at him. Could you give us a description?

OK. Um, look...

..I'm actually a lawyer myself,

so I'm aware you guys are woefully under-resourced.

I'm not proposing a manhunt for the guy.

I just need someone to sign and stamp this

and I'll be out of your hair.

Which is looking incredibly glossy, if I may say.

What conditioner do you use?

What drugs were you buying?

Er...

I wasn't... I wasn't buying drugs.

Like I said, I just thought the chap needed an innocent poo.

He got a laptop, hard drive, iPad, Patek Philippe wristwatch.

Don't they say you never really own one of those...?

You're just looking after them for the next owner, yes.

Do you want to just sign it and I can be on my way? No.

We can't let this sort of thing happen

to esteemed members of our legal profession.

Come with us. Um, why?

Come on. It'll be quick.

I do have plans today.

I'm going to a bitcoin seminar in Swindon.

Sort of like curly fringe, wavy, sort of.

Yeah, yeah.

Great. We'll run this through the system.

If he has a record, we'll find the swine.

You've got to focus on the bigger picture.

I'm only in it for a few weeks, and then, it'll be over,

and the good that the BJC will do in the future

will make up for the bad that I'm doing now.

Any real change implies the breaking of the world

as we have always known it.

Right?

Community!

Not 5G.

Community!

Not 5G. Community!

Not 5G.

We really need some more people down here. Yeah.

And some local news.

You mentioned about doing a livestream?

Yeah, good point. I'll get on it.

Community!

Not 5G.

- Community! - Not 5G.

What are you doing here?

I'm here in my official capacity as a trainee PCSO.

These things start with a few banners and a sing-song,

but then end with you getting shot in the gonads by a rubber bullet.

Now, I don't want to have to do that, but if it comes to it, I will.

All right? You've been warned.

This is us.

The little people versus big business and it is war,

which is why I am dressed to fight.

So, just in case you were wondering, the cardigan is vintage Valentino

and the shorts are upcycled by Miu Miu.

So, come on down and join the fight.

Brownie?

No, thanks, I'm in training.

Community! Not 5G.

Community!

Actually, I will have one. Keep the energy levels up.

Not 5G.

Community! Leg day tomorrow. Better carb up.

Community! Not 5G.

- Community! - Not 5G.

Platform 10, the delayed 10:45 CrossCountry Service...

OK, look, revenue's really good, it's just not high enough.

It's like... it's like there's a hole somewhere.

I think we need to re-check figures on the three-for-twos.

Hey.

Can you put that away...

..for just a few hours?

Yeah, yeah.

The 11:30 Weston-super-Mare train is now arriving on platform 4.

Oi, check it out.

Cool, I love it.

Drake rocks one just like it.

You always see it when he's on stage cos it catches the light.

Touch it.

Oh, shit.

You know, when I was seven, my mum brought me here for the day.

First time I ever saw sand, donkeys, all of that.

Was it weird?

Nah.

Nah, it was cool.

It's one of the very few happy memories I've got with her.

Got with anyone.

Oh, my days.

I remember this place.

I had my first fish and chips here, that day.

The batter...

..incredible.

It's amazing it's still here.

Just about.

You ever remember something so much, it's like you made it up?

Like you drew it in your imagination or something.

That's how I feel, when I think about this place.

I want you to imagine something, yeah? Mm-hm.

Imagine a sign that says, "Ben And Rani's Caribbean Cookout".

Nah, I'm serious.

We should buy this place.

My cooking, your brains.

What, did you bring me here...

..for this?

Yeah, I saw it online for sale.

OK, so...

..we'd move to Weston and run a food shack together?

Yeah. I mean, you ever wanted to live by the sea?

I mean, it's... it's out there...

..somewhere.

Do you want to have a look inside?

Yeah. OK, fine.

Yeah? All right, I'll call the estate agent.

It's open.

Can you positively identify the thief?

Number three. You sure?

Yes, but he's not wearing my watch, which is concerning.

Wow.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I never knew you could do this. You can hear your eyes breathing.

Listen. Shhh!

I can't hear anything. You can't hear that?

Are you all right? Yeah, you?

Oh, it's bouncy.

Oh.

I'm here with Kelly.

Now, when this place was a community centre back in the '90s,

it helped you turn your life around, didn't it, Kelly?

When my mum died, I started using drugs and alcohol,

got evicted, I was living on the streets,

and one day, I just came in here to get out of the cold.

The people were so caring,

didn't judge, they just listened to me when I said...

Listening is so important.

Yeah, it helped me get my confidence back, my self-esteem.

They helped me get a flat.

They helped me go back to school and I turned my life around.

Amazingly, Kelly is now a doctor.

I'm a chiropractor.

Amazing.

Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us, Kelly.

God bless you, sweetie.

Can I have a hug? OK.

At me, if this hit you as hard as it's hit me.

We need to help people like Kelly, so come on, come down here.

Oh, sh, sh. It's OK.

It's all right. We'll find her, don't worry. Don't cry.

Oh, it's OK.

Right, you stay there. We'll find her, OK?

All right.

Has anyone lost a small child?

She's got no hair.

So, why did you leave your previous employment?

I felt like I'd hit a bit of a glass ceiling.

You felt like you hit a glass ceiling

at a company called Halloran & Son, where you were the son in question?

Yes, love. Yeah, I... I do. I did.

Hitting the glass ceiling normally refers to women or minority groups

encountering invisible barriers to their career because of prejudice.

Yep. And you feel that applies to you?

Prejudice can impact anyone, I think,

and what I want to do is...

I want to... I want to smash that ceiling, you know?

And I want to reach back in

and I want to pull up anyone who's behind me, you know?

Be they women or...

..immigrants, minorities, anyone, you know,

as long as they're hard workers and they pass the background checks.

Thank you for taking the time to come in today.

That's it? We're done?

Did I get the job?

I'm afraid not. We've decided to go a different way.

What does that mean?

We're looking for someone

who can integrate into a more contemporary ecosystem.

I can integrate into an ecosystem. I can. That's...

Please, look, I...

..I need this job.

OK? And, so, you know...

Come on. Just give me a chance.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for calling you love, just then.

I don't know what that was. Sorry.

I just... I don't even say that normally. Just a slip of the tongue.

It's fine.

Well, is it, though?

I mean, you're not hiring me, are you?

Not because of that.

I just... I don't know.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do any more.

Changing by the bloody minute, isn't it?

It just... it just seems like from the beginning of time, you know,

if it... if it wagged its tail and it barked and looked like a dog,

it was a dog.

And these days, it turns out it could be a cat.

It could be a cat.

But if you call it a dog and it's actually a cat,

that's it, man, you're just...

You're cancelled. No second chances.

You know, I'm a... I'm a middle-aged white bloke. Sorry, you know?

I can't help it. I was born this way and...

..that's it. It doesn't automatically make me homophobic

or transphobic or sexist or racist, OK?

Yes, I did... I did recently fire one of our black delivery guys,

not because he was black,

because he was reading his Kindle while he was driving.

And, ladies, for what it's worth,

if my hand happens to brush up against you in the lift,

it doesn't automatically make me Harvey bloody Weinstein, OK?

Cos believe it or not, not every single living man out there

wants to jump your bones at every fucking opportunity.

Thanks for coming in.

This place would need so much work.

Doesn't anything that's worth doing?

You ready for my menu ideas, yeah?

Aight, so we got ackee and saltfish, dumpling,

oxtail, jerk chicken rice and peas,

green mango chutney, sorrel -

all the stuff my grandma used to make.

So, what do you say?

Hello?

You're screwed.

Did you scoop new recruits without talking to me?

Well, business is booming. We needed extra hands.

Well, one of your new hands pulled a knife on a customer,

who then went to the feds, who've now picked him up.

Some youth called Tyler?

Are you even vetting these people?

Well, how are you meant to vet drug dealers,

you know, ask for a CV and a reference?

I beg you tell me this Tyler ain't seen your face.

He...

Yeah, he has seen my face.

Shit! What?

That means he can ID you, you amateur.

He could be looking at a ten stretch.

Which means? Which means he'll trade you for a reduced sentence.

And once they've got you, genius, they've got me.

There has to be something we can do.

Damn right. Stop him talking ASAP.

OK, how do we do that...?

You all right, officer?

Go on, then.

Are you going to say, "I told you so"?

I was going to say...

..we need a good lawyer.

No, we need a bad lawyer.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

Breathe, calm down, we can sort this.

How? He'll have a duty lawyer assigned to him

and he'll encourage him to make any deal he can,

and then he'll start naming names,

and one of the names he's going to name is your name

and that'll lead to my name.

OK, so, just get in that police cell and stop him talking.

How the bloody hell am I supposed to do that?

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God.

Just breathe, calm down. We can figure it out. It's fine.

There's no way to get inside a police cell.

There is always a way. Think.

We're on our way back now.

Did you commit armed robbery in broad daylight with no mask,

nothing covering your face?

Peppa Pig.

Either you're incredibly stupid

or you didn't go to that flat with the intention of robbing anyone.

Why did you go to the flat?

Peppa Pig.

Are you involved in drug dealing?

Peppa... Pig. I got it.

Community! Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

I told you I was right to involve a celebrity.

Lady Gabby.

Hi, guys. Esther Mansfield, West Country News.

How do you react to the controversy around your livestream?

What controversy?

Have you read some of the things

that people are saying about you online?

What are people saying?

"Tell Lady Gabby I'd like to donate money..."

Yay, great!

"so this dumb airhead can go back to school"

"and learn about white saviour complex."

That took a turn I wasn't expecting.

Mm. You're trending.

People are accusing you of being a white supremacist.

What?

We have to get going, we've got a big problem.

I know, I've got a problem right here.

Yeah, but this one won't put you in jail.

..black people by reinforcing

inherited white supremacist systems of oppression.

But I'm... I'm not. I... I don't even know what that means.

I think that's part of the problem.

Can we talk about why we are really down here today?

This one says, "Does Lady Gabby seriously think"

"people of colour need her to save them?"

I mean, I'm trying to.

OK, let's go. Lady Gabby...

Where's Greg? He normally handles these things.

Where's Greg? Lady Gabby.

Lady Gabby, are you a white supremacist?

Does your silence mean yes?

No!

Telephone! Go home! Shut up.

When were you born?

You can answer that at least.

The 12th of August 2003.

So, you're 18 years old.

You'll be charged as an adult.

That means prison.

Do you know how long you get for armed robbery?

Five to ten years.

You will get done for this.

You'll go to prison...

..or you can co-operate and I can help you.

If you don't, they will charge you with armed robbery,

and once they charge you, I can't help you.

Do you want me to help you?

Myrna Okeke, Bristol Justice Collective.

You're holding a young man named Tyler Levison.

We demand to speak to him immediately.

Well, hurry up.

Chop, chop!

Do you think you're ready for prison?

Locked up for 23 hours a day.

Rat-infested.

It's overcrowded

and I hope you like a ruck

because they will beat you down the minute they look at you.

That's if you don't kill yourself first.

Lots of suicides in prison.

Tyler Levison's being spoken to by an officer

and has a duty solicitor present.

Oh, well, that won't do.

Yeah, well, it's going to have to. Goodbye.

Do you want me to get on social media?

Tell them that Bristol and Avon Police are holding a young black man

and refusing to give him access to independent, free legal counsel?

There'll be a mob outside in an hour.

He's not black.

Twitter won't care.

Christian Taylor, heard of him?

Ran Brook Hill.

He's inside now and he told me, in his cell,

whenever anyone above him pulls the flush,

their shit bubbles up in his toilet.

Fancy staring at other people's shit for five to ten years?

What do you want to know?

Who are you dealing for?

Knock, knock. Don't say another word, Tyler.

What's going on?

Well, as a solicitor working with the Bristol Justice Collective

and given the ongoing miscarriages of justice

by the police in this city,

I am providing this young man with free legal counsel.

So, I'd like to speak to my client in private, please,

if you don't mind.

Off we go.

Quick as you can.

I normally get paid by the hour but I'm doing this pro bono,

so I'm losing money.

Why did you let him in?

They were threatening to put something on Twitter.

Fair enough.

What have you told her?

I ain't sayin' nothing to you, too. I don't know you.

Well, my name's Greg and I'm your new lawyer.

I like pork pies...

..good manners, anything starring Martin Clunes.

I hate racism, homophobia,

and when you leave tissues in your trouser pockets,

and then put them in the washing machine.

Yeah, that sucks. Right, exactly.

So, you know everything about me now. We trust each other.

What did you tell her? Nothin'.

OK, good. Well, if you continue to say nothing,

I can get you out of here.

OK. All right? But you have to tell me, what did she want to know?

They said they're going to charge me with armed robbery,

unless I 'fess up about some dealing I done.

OK, who did you rob? Some posh twat in some twatty flat.

He kept going on about his Patek Philippe

and it was getting on my tits.

I can see how it would, yeah. Do you remember where he lived?

Yeah. Raymond Gardens, number 22.

You don't know his name, do you?

His watch was engraved,

"To Spencer, enjoy this fanny magnet, love, Gramps".

Did you say Spencer? Yeah.

Hello? Hi, it's me.

Excuse me, sir, your father said not to...

Dad, I need to talk to you.

Now's not a good time.

No, please. I'm on my way to see Hilgard.

Please, listen. Put me on probation.

Cut my pay by a quarter. Whatever you want.

Just... just...

..just take me back, please.

You're begging. It's undignified.

No, I'm not...

I'm not begging, Dad.

I am asking you...

..for a second chance. Please.

Listen, I... I will work every hour God sends.

What would that teach you?

Teach me?

What more do I need to fucking learn?!

Sorry.

Sorry, I just...

I'm on my arse here, mate.

Really, truly, and I need your help.

I don't deny you're on your arse but you're not coming back.

Then what am I going to do?

You will do what I did.

Pull yourself up by your bloody bootstraps.

Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe,

the social media influencer, dubbed "the it-girl for the IT generation",

faces a powerful backlash,

following a livestreamed interview with a local woman of colour

that many say revealed her white saviour complex.

Abigail Knightly is from a nonprofit group,

fighting poverty and modern slavery through art and dance.

Abigail, you're one of those

who was deeply upset by Her Ladyship's words.

Yeah, I mean, my sister sent me the video

and I was just immediately triggered.

We do not need any more rich,

narcissistic white saviours coming down to "the ghetto"

to rescue impoverished people of colour,

so that they can feel better about themselves

and get more likes on Instagram.

If you agree, please do follow me - @AbiKnightly.

Well, Lady Gabriella, who first became famous

after she was spotted twerking with Prince Harry

in Ibiza eight years ago,

is currently inside this building, refusing to speak to reporters.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Diane, it's me. Do I know you?

It's Myrna.

Myrna, hi!

Whoa, why is your head so big?

It's normal size.

Is it?

Cool.

Hey, hey, look at my hands.

They've turned into feet.

Big feet.

What happened to the protest?

Myrna, I was only trying to help.

Why are you hiding in here?

We're not hiding. We're formulating a response.

And that takes a committee, does it?

This is a democracy, Myrna. The group has to speak as one.

We should never have brought her in.

I knew this was going to happen. I said that, didn't I?

I'm so sorry.

You were right, we know.

We've just written her a statement.

All in agreement, say "Aye".

Aye.

A quick word, Lady Gabby.

I have prepared a statement.

Through my recent insensitive remarks,

I have reinforced the damaging stereotype of the white person

as the benevolent agent of change and...

..and people of colour as the passive others

in need of my charity.

This goes against everything

the Bristol Justice Collective stands for,

and so, consequently, I am...

..stepping away from all involvement with the group.

I am so deeply sorry for the hurt and pain I have caused.

I will be taking time to reflect and...

..to educate myself.

Thank you.

Lady Gabby, white saviour complex is a symptom of white supremacy,

which was used to justify the slave trade.

Are you a white supremacist?

I don't think so.

You don't think so. So, you might be?

No, you're twisting my words. That is enough.

I am the founder of the Bristol Justice Collective

and I refuse to accept Lady Gabby's resignation.

And what's your name? Myrna Okeke.

How do you spell that?

You're a reporter, Google it.

Do you know what? This is fake news.

The real story is, why aren't you news people

camped outside the council offices,

asking the politicians why they're accepting money

from a multinational telecommunications company,

who pay zero tax in this country...

Yeah! ..so they can knock down this community centre

and put up a mobile phone mast? Yeah.

We wouldn't know about any of that, if it wasn't for Gabby.

I've been fighting white supremacy for 40 years,

and let me tell you something, this woman ain't no white supremacist.

She's just trying to raise some money to save this building.

So, put your phones away, put your hands in your pockets - thanks -

and give us your money.

- Community! - Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Come on, you as well.

Paparazzi, news reporters, photographers, give us your money.

- Community! - Not 5G!

Community! Not 5G!

Who are you dealing for?

No comment. Who's running you?

No comment. Who's in charge of Brook Hill?

No comment, pig.

I didn't tell him to say pig.

I... I have absolute total respect for the police.

Not the racist ones or the corrupt ones...

..or the ones that beat confessions out of people,

but ones like you seem absolutely...

It's three o'clock.

I'd have a little conversation with your solicitor,

because at 3:30, I'm walking back in here,

and if you don't start talking,

I'm having you charged with armed robbery.

That's five to ten years of bubbling shit.

You said you'd sort this.

I am.

Well, you've got 30 minutes or I'm singing like Beyonce.

Sure you want to do this?

Is there another way?

This'll be like role-play, yeah? Like WWE.

We're not going to hurt him for real.

Oh.

Hello?

Hi, it's Detective Sergeant Haines.

Can I have a word, please?

Er...

Yeah, OK.

Er...

What? Urgh!

Argh!

Make a sound and I'll slit your throat. You got it?

Take anything you want but I was literally robbed yesterday,

so I haven't got much left.

Look, I don't want your stuff. I want you to drop the charges.

What? The boy that robbed you, I want you to drop all the charges.

I... I can't. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

No, no, I can't, I can't. The copper's already suspicious.

If I drop the charges, she'll know something's up.

You're going to do what we say or I'm going to break your arm.

You're not serious?

Hold his arm out straight.

Hold his arm out straight!

OK, sunshine, that's it. Final warning.

I'm charging you with aggravated robbery,

unless you tell me right now, who are you dealing for?

I... DS Haines. What?!

What do you want?

I made a mistake. I'm sorry.

The man you have is totally innocent.

I withdraw all charges fully.

Who got to you?

I... I don't know what you mean.

That watch just means so much to me, so I just wanted someone blamed,

so I picked a random kid out of the line-up.

Get out. Yes, ma'am.

I don't suppose you found the watch...? Get out!

Shall I put eyes on him?

It's pointless.

Whoever's running him knows he's hot now.

They'll stand him down.

I blew our one bloody lead.

Well, we may have another.

You know PC Lane? No.

Big guy, squiffy eye. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, his gran got this random text -

"Party all weekend with Columbian coffee, 100% pure."

"Flat white - 80 quid."

"Rock harder with double espresso - 150."

That's some pricey coffee.

Yeah, I'll check it out.

Wow, people are so generous.

Look at all these 50s.

Amazing.

Only four weeks left, until The Dean needs his money.

He's worried you're falling behind schedule.

So, he's asked us to come and give you a little kick up the arse.

You weren't seriously going to break his arm, were you?

If that's what it took.

You can't be serious.

You said it yourself, we have no choice.

We always have a choice -

whether to cross the line or not.

Just four more weeks, and then we're done.

All right, you keep saying we have four more weeks,

and then we're done,

but what if we've crossed a line and we can't go back?

You didn't say if you were down.

To what? My food shack idea.

We'd need a lot of start-up money... Yeah.

..and it would be difficult.

Look, I could work extra shifts at the club.

And I'm going to talk to John about mortgage structures

and small business loans.

You're not into this, are you?

Look, I don't want to pressure you, Rani,

but don't you want to make plans for when all this shit's over?

A food shack?

You were the one that said I could do this professionally.

For the first time,

someone said I could do something other than just staying alive.

What?

I'll have two flat whites, please.

Where are you? Bridge Street, by the water.

Wearing what? Grey hoodie and blue jeans.

30 minutes. Safe.

How about I... ask my parents for a loan to put down a deposit?

Seriously?

You'd do that?

Course, you're my boyfriend.

In response to the protest,

a spokesman for Bristol City Council said

they would hold a town hall meeting with local residents

and the telecommunications company to discuss plans.

The protest ended with a rather unexpected example

of police community outreach.

This is the grasshopper. Yeah!

This the wheelbarrowYeah!

Are you ready to see the Diane - special? - Yeah!

You, yeah?

All right, mate?

What you sayin'? You all right? Yeah, good, boss. How you doin'?

Aight, take that and take that.

All right? Cheers, boss.

Have a good one, yeah? You too, man. Aight.

All right, what have you got for me?

He gave me these, which ain't very on-brand.

We cool?

Cool. Cool.

"Say no to drugs, stay clean for good."