Original subtitles

Such a fuss!

Celeste gave me ?2,000 for my birthday.

Are you really asking Veronica Chaddesley-Corbett?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, how I long to meet her.

2,000 lovely pounds he gave me.

So I bought myself a pretty necklace,

and they were all horrified and said it was meant to be

a capital sum for Tony to invest for me.

Bankers always were a mean lot.

You don't know how mean.

When I spoke to Tony about a wedding present for Fanny,

he said he hardly knew her, even though she was with me

for that famous luncheon in Oxford.

Never mind, darling, you'll be my dearest person there,

next to Alfred and Emily, present or no present.

I'm not sure that I'll be able to come.

Not come to my wedding?

The thing is, I may not be at all myself when it happens.

Not at all at all.

You see, I'm in pig... what do you think of that?

The most hideous expression, Linda dear.

But I suppose we must congratulate you.

I suppose so.

I feel awfully ill, I must say.

But think how much good it will do you in the long run.

Such a wonderful clear-out.

Oh, such a ghastly evening ahead of one.

Some important Americans not only do a deal with Tony,

they take a fancy to his wife.

Aren't Americans ridiculous?!

I shall probably be sick all over them.

I was married at the beginning of the Christmas vacation,

and when Alfred and I returned from our honeymoon,

we went to stay at Alconleigh

while our own little house in Oxford was being got ready.

How lovely to see you!

Hello, we met briefly. Nice to see you.

Hello.

Shall we go in?

"Man's long agony in lift shaft!"

Mine's got a different version...

"Slowly crushed to death in lift!"

Not at all funny, children. Disgusting and dull.

You're far too old to be so vulgar and heartless.

"Man drops marmalade on fly button!"

No more of that chanting.

That wasn't heartless.

It was certainly vulgar. No more chanting.

Do you hear your mother?

Yes, Fa.

[Utensils tapping rhythmically]

Uh, time I was off.

Lecture at 10:00.

Do you think your car will start this morning?

I very much hope so.

Well, if your car does start this morning, Alfred,

please try not to back it into the front door

as you did on Friday before advancing it to Oxford.

"Man backs car into Alconleigh."

[Lmpertinent humming]

I wish so much I could be in the country.

Down at dear old Alconleigh, perhaps.

Not stuck here in beastly London.

And what does Tony say?

Oh, that Alconleigh's too cold and uncomfortable.

He's very solicitous.

All the Kroesigs are.

They particularly want a son.

Yes, bankers, like kings, have need of many sons.

What do you want?

I don't much care.

If only I could get out of beastly London.

Well, if Tony would allow it, you'd be welcome at Merlinford.

That's warm enough.

I knew you'd say that.

I was fishing. How kind you are.

How kind.

Oh, it's you, Merlin.

How good of you to call on us like this.

I must be off now, I'm afraid.

Yes, well, you certainly seem to have cheered Linda up.

Good old session of gossip, eh?

Not exactly gossip.

I expect she'll pass it on to you.

Goodbye.

Oh, Tony, such wonderful news!

He's asked me to go and stay at Merlinford.

Oh, I do so long for the country!

TONY: The doctors want to keep an eye on you up here.

But Merlin says...

Linda, we Kroesigs go as we have always gone to Sir Coningsby.

Sir Coningsby has a select but demanding medical practice,

which occasionally includes attendance at the palace.

I doubt if he'll have time to call on you at Merlinford.

In any case, your place

and your people are now here.

On the other hand, Louisa says that once you get used to "it,"

it's utter, utter, utter blissikins.

Which does rather surprise us when we think of poor William.

What's wrong with poor John?

Dull and old.

Come on, Fanny, out with it... what's it like with Alfred?

I agree with Louisa, really rather bliss-making.

But exactly how?

It's much too hard to explain.

You'll just have to wait and find out for yourselves.

Very well, then, we shall go to our marriage beds

in ignorance, like Victorian ladies.

In the morning, we shall be found

stark staring mad with horror

and live 60 more years in an expensive bin.

'Tis unfair.

Oh, well.

Back to the medical dictionary and the bible.

What we need is

some clean-minded married woman to explain to us.

But where are we to find her?

I hear Polly and her mother are on very bad terms again.

That hell hag? I'd drown her if I were Montdore.

Or he could cut her to pieces with nail scissors,

like that French duke the lecherous lecturer

was telling you all about, Sadie,

when you weren't listening and we were.

Don't call me "Sadie," children.

And don't call Mr. Dougdale "the lecherous lecturer."

That's Davey arriving at last!

"Captain Warbeck" to you, children!

Oh! I hope they won't wear him out.

Ah, he's made of strong stuff, Davey!

Nothing wears him out.

Well, he has come here to convalesce.

Oh, Davey, how lovely!

Don't hang onto him. He has been ill.

Can I take your coat?

Are you all right, Davey?

- No. - No? Oh!

Did something go wrong with your treatment?

No, but they brought Patricia Dougdale

into the Radcliffe just as I was leaving.

Oh, poor dear, I knew she was having a horrid winter.

Did you manage to have a word with her?

She was dead before they got her to her room.

We therefore commit her body to the ground.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life

through our Lord Jesus Christ,

who shall change our vile bodies...

They're back.

They look as if they'd been to their own funeral.

I sometimes thank heaven

for your uncle's old-fashioned ideas,

no women at burials.

Oh, poor Patricia.

I fear she had a sad life of it with that boring old lecturer.

You always said no one was allowed to call him that,

and then you do.

You'll be chanting headlines next.

"Woman locks herself in public convenience."

"Decomposing body found five months later."

If you go on being so silly, children,

I shall be obliged to send you to school.

But can you afford it?

You'd have to buy us plimpsolls and gym tunics

and underclothes in a decent state.

Girls going off to school are smothered in expensive things.

Of course, we long for it!

Romance in the dorm.

And pashes for the games-mistress.

School has a very sexy side, Sadie.

Why, the very word "mistress"...

Very naughty and silly, and don't call me "Sadie."

Davey!

Oh!

I only saw her last week.

In the Clarendon carpark.

[Sighs]

It's the dropping off the perches.

I've always dreaded when that begins.

Well, very soon, we shall all have gone.

Oh, well, never mind.

Oh, nonsense! Modern science will keep us all alive,

and young, too, for many a long day yet.

I had a word with Dr. Simpson.

Patricia's insides were a terrible mess.

Obviously, a miracle she didn't die 10 years ago.

When the children have gone to bed, I'll tell you all about it.

- Oh, yes! - No, thank you.

How old was she?

Older than we are.

I seem to remember, when they married,

she was supposed to be a lot older than Boy.

That Sewer!

I thought he seemed awfully cut up.

Poor Boy.

Poor little Polly was looking dreadful.

Of course, that bloody fool of a mother

ought never to have let her come.

I'd no idea that Polly was so fond of Patricia.

Nor had I.

Tell about the grave!

They lined it with heather

because she loved Scotland so much.

Yes, it's in the Dougdale plot at Silkham,

bang underneath Boy's window, incidentally.

Oh, promise you'll bury me at home, whatever happens.

I know the exact place I want...

next to that old lady who was nearly 100.

That's not our part of the churchyard.

No, but it's the bit I want.

I once saw a dear little dead baby foal there.

But you'll have run away long before then,

with all your running-away money.

Have much have you got now, Jassy?

?53 and 6 shillings.

If I've gone, you must bring me back pickled.

I'll pay, I swear.

Right.

Write it down.

And I'll want a deposit of 10 shillings.

You can pay it out of your running-away money.

No, I shall need all that when I actually run away.

Take it out of my birthday present, Fa.

That's not for months!

Only 10 weeks.

There.

I've made a map for you to bury me,

like in "Treasure Island."

Yes, I think that's clear.

Right, we'll put it in the safe.

Oh, do let's see!

There's that darling little gun for shooting bluebottles.

And the piece of shrapnel

that was in Fa's groin for a week.

Must have been relieved when it got out.

And the skeleton of the little fish.

Absolutely perfect!

Young tench, it was.

Ah, delicious!

Monks always swore by tench pie.

It's coarse fish, so stimulating to the brain.

Coarse fish... glad you mentioned that.

Been gobbling all the baby trout up as usual.

So, once again... now, listen all of you.

We will be having the chubb fuddling a week today.

The fuddler chappie will be here at 2:30 so I want you

all on parade by 2:15.

23...

and 1/4 minutes past 2:00.

In precisely 6 and 3/4 minutes, the damn fellow will be late!

And where are Emily and Davey, I should like to know?

In their room.

Davey said that chubb fuddling wasn't madly him,

and Little Matt saw them sneaking off.

Aunt Emily said they ought to make a polite excuse,

but Davey wanted to finish writing the chapter

on coarse fish, and, anyway,

he needed no excuse for not wanting his mid-extremities

frozen stiff.

Deep one, Davey, suits himself. Independent type.

Now, where is that damn fuddler?!

There's a car coming now.

My goodness! The chubb fuddler's bought a Rolls-Royce.

Now, do admit!

What in the blazes!

Surely people would know better to call on us

this day of all days.

If it's that hog Merlin!

Matthew, do look very carefully before you throw that stone.

I think it's...

By Jove! So it is.

Montdore.

Hello, Matthew.

I'm sorry to trouble you. Rather disturbing news.

I think Sonia wants to talk it over with Sadie.

[Door slams]

No, no, Vict, that was a "keep out, children" bang

if ever I heard one.

You go in. Then you can tell later.

I think it was a "keep out, Fanny" bang as well.

Here comes the fuddler!

We can't start without Fa.

Chubb fuddling is his best day ever.

Hey-hey!

You're late, damn your eyes!

If the fellow hadn't been so late,

we could have got started before they got here.

As it is, I'm stuck.

Oh, darling Fa, what's going on?

Never you mind, miss.

You lot had better go down and start.

Little Matt, you take charge.

Yes, Fa.

Start without him?

Whatever's going on in there must be the most riveting thing

since the Great War ended.

Oh! Some for you, my little dear.

My guess, the government's fallen.

Why should that make Lady Montdore cry?

You know she's always getting them to do little jobs for her.

There will soon be another lot for her to fag.

Conservatives this time, perhaps.

She'd really like that better.

Do you think Polly's dead?

No. They'd be mourning o'er her lovely corpse,

not driving about in motorcars and seeing people.

Silence, they're about to rise!

We shan't know until somebody tells us.

Meanwhile, we'd better keep warm.

I think they're beginning to come to the surface.

Here they come! Aren't they all lovely?!

My lads, there they come!

Come on, my lovelies. Ha ha!

Come on, my hearties!

Go on, get 'em with that net.

There we go!

Pick it up with the net.

Put that lot back at once! Can't you see they're grayling?

Oh, my God, the incompetence of women!

Fa, have they gone?

Use your eyes.

That's Montdore.

MATTHEW: Lord Montdore.

- But where's Madame? - I can see her.

All sort of screwed up, like a wet hanky.

Come on, Fanny. It's too cold here anyway, Fa.

Now for worming it all out of Sadie!

Bloody women!

Completely out of control, right on the ground.

Hitting her head and completely hysterical.

Not that I blame her.

[Girls murmuring]

Just in time for chubb fuddling.

Come on, tell.

Well, what do you think, Emily?

- Well... - Please!

We'll never chant "Man's long agony" again

as long as we live, or anything else.

Ooh, a good bargain, if you ask me.

After all, they'll have to know sometime.

Very well.

It seems that Boy was over at Hampton yesterday

and was asked to stay to dinner without dressing

because of a cold he's caught at the funeral.

Well, Sonia and Lord Montdore went up to change

and when Sonia came down again,

there was Polly, sitting on the rug.

Oh, that rug at Hampton, it's such bliss to sit on.

It gives you such a marvelous feeling.

Is this my story or yours, miss?

There was Polly, sitting on the rug.

Such pure, pure heaven!

Still in her day clothes.

So, Sonia said, "Go up and change at once, Polly.

And where's Boy?"

And Polly...

Polly got up, stretched herself, and said,

"He's gone home and I've something to tell you.

Boy and I are going to be married."

[Gasp]

If you please, the wretched Patricia

not yet cold in her grave!

Well, cooling in this weather.

But how can she marry him if he's her uncle?

It seems with an uncle by marriage, you can.

I say, come on, Dave!

No, thank you, my dear.

Marry one of you demons? Not for any money.

The end of family life, a thing like that.

Except it's the beginning for Polly.

At first Sonia thought she was joking,

but Polly never makes jokes.

When Sonia saw that she was in deadly earnest,

she rushed at Polly in a fury and boxed her ears.

Whereupon Polly gave her

a great rush into an armchair and then went upstairs.

Well, by this time, Sonia was completely hysterical.

But she just managed to ring for the maid

and get herself put to bed.

Meanwhile, Polly had dressed and come down again

and then she calmly spent the rest of the evening

with her father.

Can you believe it?

Without saying a word about it to him.

Simply saying that Sonia had a headache and wouldn't dine.

So, on top of everything else,

poor Sonia had to tell him this morning,

which she said was quite appalling as he adores Polly.

So he'll be madly jealous of Boy!

Well, consid...

Now, my goodness, what a disgusting smell of fish!

Go up and wash your hands at once.

This is the very limit!

You're obviously going to say things while we're away.

Fanny's hands smell just as bad as ours.

Fanny's a grownup, she'll wash her hands when she wants to.

Now, go on. Or no tea.

[Footsteps on stairs]

Can you imagine it?

Sonia so far lost control of herself this afternoon

that she even hinted that Boy had once been her lover.

Oh, Sadie, darling!

Sadie, you're so innocent, darling.

It's a famous love affair that everyone... except you...

has known about for years.

Poor Lady Montdore.

Her daughter and her lover both gone at a stroke.

Well...

the one I feel sorry for is the unhappy Boy.

Oh, Davey, what nonsense.

Just imagine.

Polly told them this afternoon that she'd been in love with him

since she was a little girl of 13.

Well, not his fault... was it?

I mean, he probably had no idea.

Oh, come now, Davey, little girls of 13

don't fall in love without encouragement.

And we do know that he went for little girls.

Look at all those strokes and pinchings

he gave Louisa and Linda.

Did he?

Yes, well, I sometimes wondered.

Eech, what a man!

Do you suppose they did "it"?

You've been telling things! It 'tis unfair.

And Fanny's hands are still reeking.

Whatever did Fa say? He adores Polly.

I've never seen him so angry.

He wanted to take the horse whip straightaway,

but fortunately, as it's chubb fuddling day,

he couldn't quite resist that.

But I haven't told you the final thing of all.

Polly's coming here for the next week or two.

It will be utter fascination! But why?

Do you think the lecher will have himself carried

into the house dressed up as a sack of wood?

They shan't meet under my roof, I promised Sonia that.

But of course I pointed out that I can't control what Polly does.

Elsewhere.

- Hello. - Hello, Victoria.

If you have any letters for the post, Polly...

you know what I mean, a letter...

we could easily run it into the village on our bikes.

But, darling, they'll go just as quickly

if I put them on the hall table, won't they?

But everybody will see the envelope, and I thought...

Now, about the special messages.

There's a telephone in the village.

Rather public, but you could talk in French.

I'm afraid I don't know much French.

I thought you had a telephone here.

Yes, but it's a real brute. In Fa's business room.

He listens into every word, like the Inquisition.

There's a hollow tree in the park,

just big enough for two people to hide in, quite dry and comfy.

Shall we show you?

It's too cold today, I think.

Oh!

Aren't they too heavenly?

I can't see the point

of freezing to death in hollow tree trunks

when very soon I shall be with Boy

for the whole of the rest of my life.

Polly, what did Boy say when he proposed?

Boy never proposed at all.

I don't think he ever would have.

Being the sort of person he is,

I mean, so unselfish and considerate.

You see, he knew mummy so well.

And he understood just what sort of hullabaloo she'd make.

About leaving me out of wills and all that.

Has she threatened that? Or your father?

It's in the air.

Of course, Boy knew there would be trouble.

He worries tremendously about that kind of thing.

So, I always realized that I'd have to do the proposing.

And it wasn't very difficult.

After all, I've loved him ever since I can remember.

Oh, Fanny, isn't being happy wonderful?

There could be delays.

After all, you're not yet 21.

Not far off.

What can it matter if we have

a few more weeks of horrid waiting,

when we're going to live together

for the rest of our lives, be buried in the same grave.

Fancy being buried in the same grave with a lecturer.

Jassy, it's too awful the way you listen at doors.

Don't tease, Fan, I intend to be a novelist.

"Child novelist astounds the critics."

And I'm studying human nature like mad.

I really ought to tell Aunt Sadie.

Now, Sadie is being an absolute scream about the whole thing.

I heard her.

She's trying to put Polly off by reminding her

of what she calls "that side of married life."

She simply doesn't realize

that that's what excited Polly in the first place.

Girls either find the lecher repulsive,

or he makes them positively sizzle.

And he must have made Polly sizzle

when she was just a little girl,

like he tried to with Louisa.

And now all she wants is to roll and roll

and roll about with him in a steaming double bed.

[Sneezes]

You must believe me, Davey,

the whole thing started with her.

Not my idea at all.

Yes, that's what I thought. How do you feel about it?

Well, I...

I can't resist it.

And yet it will be ruin.

I shall be ostracized for a start.

Oh, I don't know.

Look at Fanny's mother, the Bolter.

Ghastly scandal after ghastly scandal.

Elopements, horse whippings.

Puts herself up for sweepstakes.

Has an affair with a cannibal king

and shares his diet.

Ohh, and I don't know what all.

She only had to appear in London

and her friends queued three deep

to give parties for her.

No, no, people worship bad behavior.

The Bolter's kind, perhaps.

Mine will be seen as rather different.

Ah, thank you, Freddie.

Yes, yes.

That looks splendid.

Well, if you're scared...

[Blows]

You could always chuck it and go abroad.

I thought of that.

In one way, you see, it's all so frightening.

I shall miss Sonia dreadfully.

And there will be trouble about money.

I've got such a little of my own.

But in another way...

well, to be married to Polly,

it's quite dazzling, Davey.

I can't resist.

Oh, good!

Dear me, fancy taking on a new young wife at our age.

How exhausting.

I do pity him.

Oh, pity him, indeed.

All he had to do was to leave little girls alone.

Oh, Sadie, you're so implacable.

It's a heavy price he has to pay for a...

for a bit of c-cuddling...

[Sneezes]

Ooh, years ago!

Come along, all of you.

New consignment of records from the army and navy.

Fanny, you fetch Polly. She'll want to hear them.

Polly's in her room writing a letter.

The letter can wait!

[Woman singing aria]

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Matthew!

Yes?

[Aria continues]

- That was Boy. - Oh.

He wants to meet me in Oxford on Wednesday.

Oh, well, duck, I only promised your mother

he shouldn't come to this house.

Of course you must meet the lecturer...

Mr. Dougdale... in Oxford if you wish.

How kind you are, Lady Alconleigh.

The only thing is, I can't take you in.

I'm going up to London on the Monday

for Linda's baby... it's any moment now.

I'll drive her in, and shoot the swine when I get there.

Just get another record, Matthew.

I wonder, would Josh take you in the Daimler?

Daimler's going for repairs.

Alfred and I can take you in, Polly.

I've got to see how our new house is getting on

so we shan't be in each other's way.

Thank you.

[Orchestra playing overture]

It's such a ghastly mess, I can't ask you in.

My car's just over there.

- Do you want a lift? - I would like...

No, he doesn't.

Well, everything's settled.

A month from today if I can get my parents' consent.

I shall still be underage, you see.

So the next thing is a tussle with mummy.

Sooner you than me.

I want you to come, too.

There's Alfred waiting for us.

You always seem to go down well with mummy.

And I want a witness... if she says yes in front of you,

she won't be able to wriggle out of it later.

I saw Lady Montdore driving along this morning.

How did she look?

Rather like Attila the Hun.

One month from today, Mummy, and for that I must have

your consent as I'm not of age until May.

But, as that's a few weeks more in any case,

you might as well bite on the pill and get it done with.

All very pretty, I must say,

when the breath has hardly left your poor aunt's body.

It doesn't make the slightest difference to Aunt Patricia

whether she's been dead three months or three centuries,

so let's leave her out of it.

Do you realize, Polly, that the day you marry Boy Dougdale,

your father's going to cut you out of his will?

Yes, yes, yes, as if I cared.

The only thing I mind about is Hampton.

And he can't leave me that, even if he wants to.

I wonder if you also know

that Boy Dougdale is a very poor man.

They lived, really, on Patricia's allowance

and this will stop the moment he marries you.

Yes, yes, we've been through all that.

And don't count on your father changing his mind,

because I have no intention of allowing him to.

I'm quite sure you haven't.

I wonder if you realize what it's like, being poor.

We shan't be poor like really poor people.

Boy has 800 a year of his own,

besides what he makes from his books.

The parson and his wife here have 800 a year,

and just look at their dreary faces.

They were born with those. I did better thanks to you.

But have you no idea what you're throwing away?

You can't have the title and you can't have Hampton,

but you can have, or you would have had,

just about everything else... a huge fortune in money.

Some of the most valuable jewels and objects in Europe.

In the world!

If I can't have Hampton, I want nothing.

It's no good going on, Mummy.

There's nothing you can do to stop us.

Well, then, why have you come here?

What do you want?

To have the wedding next month, for which I need your consent.

And to be married here in the chapel.

Or must we sneak off to London for it?

If you intend to go through

with this indecent marriage at all costs,

it will make the least talk if we have the marriage here.

And before your birthday... Then I won't have to explain why

there are no coming-of-age celebrations.

The tenants have begun asking questions already.

So I think you may take it that you can have the marriage here

as you wish, and before next month.

After which, you incestuous little harlot,

I never want to set eyes on you or your uncle again!

Boy Dougdale on 800 a year.

A real test of true love that will be.

I wonder.

If she sticks to her guns,

who will get the money and the jewels?

Oh, yes, who else?

The mysterious heir... who is he?

He's called Cedric Hampton.

He was born...

in...

He was born in 1907.

He's the son of Montdore's second cousin once removed,

Henry Hampton, who... who was a bad lot

and is now dead.

Henry "went west," as they say, fell ill,

and married his nurse, an elderly Canadian woman.

Here described as a daughter of Stanley Honks Esquire

of Annapolis Royal, Nova Scotia.

She bore Henry this one child, Cedric.

Et voila tout.

Where is he now? What does he do?

Nobody knows.

I expect he's just sitting around somewhere,

waiting to become the next Earl of Montdore.

Yes, quite a pleasant occupation.

Providing he's not kept waiting too long.

What are you going to call her?

And where is she, anyway?

It's in Sister's room.

It shrieks.

Sister will bring it in soon.

I believe it's to be called Moira.

Moira? Oh, darling, you can't!

Tony likes it.

He had a sister called Moira who died.

His other sister whacked her on the head

with a hammer when she was 4 years old.

Who told you? Not Tony.

The Kroesig nanny.

She's rather a Hon, the only one in the family.

Oh.

If only this Moira had somebody

who would whack her on the head with a hammer!

[Baby crying]

[Crying continues]

Poor thing.

It's really kinder not to look.

You're not being very encouraging.

Just as I've joined the club.

Oh, have you, Fanny?

Oh, you poor darling.

Well, God send you something better than this horrible Moira.

She's too young.

I don't believe very young mothers

ever get really wrapped up in their babies.

It's when women are older they so adore their children.

Perhaps it's better for the children

to have young, unadoring mothers to lead more detached lives.

Linda seems positively to loathe it.

"Lt"?

Linda's expression.

Well...

Remember, she's been terribly ill.

Sadie was in despair. Twice they thought she'd die.

Don't talk of it, I can't imagine the world without Linda.

Oh, she'll get over it, Fanny, darling.

Provided she never tries to have another.

Sadie said the doctors were very plain about that.

[Church organ plays]

I've been going into Cedric the heir a bit more.

Ah, there's Boy.

Hair nicely curled, I see.

Yes, always did cut quite a good figure in mourning dress.

Where was I?

Cedric the heir.

Ah, yes! Do you know they still don't know

where he lives or anything?

Wouldn't you think they'd show a bit more interest?

After all, this Cedric fellow

is the only hope of the family being carried on.

Perhaps Lord Montdore hated Cedric's father.

No, I put it down to Sonia.

I expect she couldn't bear the thought of Hampton

going away from Polly and pretended to herself

that Cedric just didn't exist.

Can't say I blame her.

Just imagine the idea

of some great lumpen colonial at Hampton.

She'll have to face up to him under these new circumstances.

[Door opens]

DAVEY, WHISPERING: You can never tell what Sonia will do.

I think she's up to something.

Shh!

She looks as if she were going to be sick.

Or start keening, or rending her bosom.

What a joy that would be!

Shh!

Choir boy: # O perfect love #

Ah, here comes the cortege.

# All human thought transcending #

# Lowly we kneel #

# In prayer before Thy throne #

# That theirs may be #

# The love which knows #

# No ending #

# Forevermore dost join #

# In One # #

Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?

[Book hits floor]

[Door slams]

Pure temper.

Shh!

I know how you feel, Sadie.

Beautiful Hampton, how sad it looks.

As if youth had left it forever.

Oh, he is bliss!

[Bells ringing]

Please, can I hold him, Fan?

How you must adore him.

Mothers don't always adore their babies.

Look at Linda and Moira.

Moira's just a beastly

counter-Honish Kroesig Kraut, that's why.

You can see her turning into a kind of Valkyrie

right under your eyes.

But Fanny's baby is pure heaven.

Just like heavenly Alfred.

Oh, you are lucky to be you.

It is unfair.

[Baby crying]

I'm afraid you two overexcite him.

One of the most blissful things about babies

is getting rid of them from time to time.

Ungrateful, I call it.

If I had beautiful Basil, I'd never let him leave my arms.

And everything else here is such total paradise as well.

Oh, the sheer heaven of it here.

[Horn honks]

That's Fa.

We mustn't keep him waiting one single second.

Blissful, blissful digestive biscuits.

Come on at once, Vict.

Fa's got word that Lady Montdore's in Oxford

and he knows she always calls on you.

Well, it's nice to have warning for once.

She usually arrives all at once and fags me all round Oxford.

There's her Rolls coming down the street.

Run for it, Jassy,

or Fa will brain everyone inside with the starting handle!

The front door was open so I came right up.

Is this your tea?

Would you like a cup?

Yes, please, so refreshing. And a biscuit would be nice.

Now, dear, what I came to tell you is this.

The Bishop and Montdore

were speaking of your husband at luncheon.

They were impressed by some article of his,

which they read, so I suppose he really is a clever man.

The cleverest man I ever met.

Then it's a thousand pities he's so dreadfully poor.

I hate to see you living in this horrid little hovel.

It's so unsuitable.

I can't bear your not being more important.

We're very contented, you know.

Simple pleasures, books, and so on.

It's all very well for funny little people

like you and your husband to read books all the time.

You only have yourselves to consider.

Whereas Montdore and I have to wear ourselves out

being public servants.

It's slightly stewed, dear.

That's what we still are, in a way, public servants.

Such a very great deal is expected of us.

Traditions to live up to.

Tiny bit stale, dear.

Duties to perform.

Oh, it's a hard life. Make no mistake about that.

Hard and tiring.

But occasionally we have our rewards.

When we came home from India, for instance,

the dear villagers pulled our motorcar up the drive.

Ha! How they worshiped us.

Really touching.

Now then, am I to see Moira?

Moira is staying in Surrey with the Kroesigs.

She almost always is.

They like her, and I don't.

I see.

Well, at least that leaves you free to devote yourself

to Tony and his interests.

What have I to do with Tony's interests?

And as for Tony himself, well,

the waxwork started to melt the moment I married it.

And now there's nothing left but a puddle on the floor.

You warned me, you were right.

And it's very kind of you not to say "I told you so."

Let's try another cliche instead...

you must now make the best of things.

Tony's out all day in the city.

Very soon, he'll be out all night in the House of Commons.

He's bound to win that seat at the by-election.

This will leave you with even more free time on your hands

than you already have.

What do you want me to do, take a lover?

No.

You are not yet mature enough to choose a satisfactory one.

And as I am not a pimp, I do not intend to find you one myself.

But... I can find you amusing company,

which will occupy your ample leisure

and at the same time annoy those abominable Kroesigs.

[Giggles]

I say, Fanny's food... toast with every meal.

Why can't we live with Fanny always?

Why can't I be you?

And walnut cake.

We haven't had it at home since the financial crisis started.

Dear, is it very bad this time?

Usual sort of thing... cheap, gritty lath paper

which nearly cuts you to pieces

and red carbolic soap.

But far more interesting,

we've had news from horrible Polly, a postcard.

Horrible Polly?

For not inviting us to the wedding

after all the loyal support we gave her.

It's no use her bombarding us with postcards.

We can never, never forgive.

Where was it from?

From Seville. That's in Spain.

Did she sound happy?

Do people ever sound unhappy on postcards?

Isn't it always "lovely weather"

and "everything wonderful" on postcards?

Has she written to you?

Only postcards... one from Paris and one from St. Jean de Luz.

I wonder if it's as nice as she thought,

being in bed with a lecturer.

Marriage isn't only bed... there are other things.

I wonder if they're as nice as she thought with a lecturer.

[Horn honks] Fa's horn... back to the country.

We're like the Lady of Shallot with the pathetic lives we lead.

Or Mariana in the Moated Grange. "He cometh not, she said.

Oh, oh, I am a-weary, a-weary.

I would that I were dead."

Jassy and I love that first line.

Ooh!

A new car?

You know how Fa is...

he always buys a new car when he has a financial crisis.

We think it gives him confidence.

Come in and have some tea.

No, thank you, Fanny. Very kind of you.

But there's a perfectly good cup of tea waiting at Alconleigh.

You know I never go inside other people's houses

if I can help it.

Letter from Linda last week. Seems cheerful again.

Rather a relief to Sadie, I can tell you.

Wonderful! Let's top it off with a cherry.

You must come and meet Peter, come on.

Peter, this is Linda.

And now let's go and meet Adrian.

- Friend of Linda's, are you? - I'm her...

No need to go into details. Have you got a cigarette?

No!

[Jazz on phonograph]

Have you got a cig?

Lady Montdore.

I'm so glad you found your way in.

You'll stay and have some luncheon with me?

Oh, indeed, I will. Hungry work, shopping.

And where is your husband today?

Lunching in college.

Just as well, as what I've got to tell

isn't exactly intellectual.

No, thank you, Fanny, never take vegetables with fish.

Cedric.

Cedric?

Well, you know, Montdore's heir...

Do put that jug down and pay attention.

We found him at last.

The idiotic thing was, his ghastly mother kept moving.

Fancy moving in Canada.

You'd think one place there

would be exactly the same as another.

Now, it turned out that Cedric

wasn't in Canada at all, but in Paris.

Whatever could a Canadian be doing in Paris?

This is a little too dry, dear.

Paris, indeed.

Well, we must wait and see what comes,

and if necessary change it.

He'll have to learn to behave suitably now.

I've already written to invite him to Hampton.

Linda, darling! Ta-da!

Oh! Mwah!

Ooh, steady!

And Frankie. And dear little Matthew.

Come in, darlings!

Then dozens of chatterers and hangers-on arrived

and I got no more sense out of her at all.

Lord Merlin has a lot to answer for,

filling a house with Bohemians.

I agree.

Ah, but Linda gives one so much pleasure.

She's like a bunch of flowers.

Seems so odd that she doesn't even have love affairs.

I don't see what she gets out of the life.

It must be dreadfully empty.

Dear Alfred, he does like to file people away

under clear headings.

Virtuous wife or scarlet woman.

The trouble is, Linda's neither.

Linda believes in loves.

Casual affairs simply don't interest her.

She's waiting, I'm sure, if only subconsciously,

for the irresistible temptation.

When it comes, one can only hope

it will not prove to be another Bottom.

In the Shakespearean sense, of course.

I suppose she really is rather like my mother.

All of hers have been Bottoms.

Poor Bolter.

In almost all affairs of high passion,

women fall for Bottoms.

Oh, I've had a letter from Mother Montdore.

Cedric the heir is coming to stay next Thursday.

Fanny! Tell more!

"We are sending to Dover for him

so that he'll arrive in time for dinner.

Montdore and I have decided not to dress that evening

as most likely he has no evening clothes

and one doesn't wish to make him feel shy

at the very beginning of his visit."

Oh, for a ringside seat!

I've got one!

"We should be so pleased and grateful

if you would come over for the night.

It will make things much easier to have

another young person there when Cedric arrives."

You see, I told you there would be rewards

for being nice to her.

If you consider this sufficient reward for being patronized

by an evil old woman.

Of course she does. Oh, lucky Fanny!

Please tell me that you're going.

I can hardly wait!

Do you think we shall hear the motor coming up the drive?

We generally can if the wind is in the west.

I expect I shall. I hear everything.

Well, we're not stone deaf ourselves.

Show Fanny what you've got for Cedric, Montdore.

Oh, yes. Now, if you'll look at the flyleaf,

you will see that it was given to my grandfather

by the late Lord Palmerston

the day that Cedric's grandfather was born.

They evidently happened to be dining together.

We think that that should please him.

Thomas Gray? Yes, he should like that.

Well, Canadians should know all about the poet Gray,

because General Wolfe at the taking of Quebec

read "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard"

out loud to all his staff officers

in order to keep them calm.

I always think there's something contrived about that story.

Oh.

Mr. Cedric Hampton.

I thought you heard everything.

Don't speak.

Just for a moment, just...

Just let me go on looking at you,

you wonderful, wonderful people.

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