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TED:
It was May of 2006
in New York City
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00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,586
and life was good.
3
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,689
But everything
was about to change.
4
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,625
So... what do you think?
5
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,761
Robin again?
6
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,430
Ted,
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00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,132
the universe clearly
does not want
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00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,334
you and Robin
to be together.
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00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,035
Don't piss
off the universe.
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00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,770
The universe
will slap you.
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00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,472
Don't you think the universe
has more important things
12
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,740
to think about
than my dating life?
13
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,076
Unless your dating life
is the glue holding
14
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,645
the entire
universe together...
15
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,946
Whoa. Chills.
16
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,482
Anybody else
get chills?
17
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,719
Look, I realize we've
been down this road before,
18
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,154
but the fact is,
19
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:56,657
whatever I do, it all keeps
coming back to Robin,
20
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,393
so... I gotta do this.
21
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,230
Ow! What the hell?
22
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,264
That wasn't me.
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00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,533
That was the universe.
24
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,935
The funny thing was,
at that very moment,
25
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:11,672
the universe was
working on something... a storm.
26
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,842
So tropical storm Willy
is going to be with us
27
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,344
at least until Monday.
28
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,679
It's gonna rain
cats and dogs, folks.
29
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,481
So don't step in a poodle.
30
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,116
Sandy? Robin?
31
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,251
Thanks, Lou.
32
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,285
Boy, too bad.
33
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,619
Our big Metro News One
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00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,421
camping trip was going
to be this weekend.
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00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:30,558
Yeah, but camping out in the
rain? No fun. Muddy. Yuck.
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00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,293
Guess we'll have
to take a rain check.
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00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,762
And we'll check in with
you tomorrow, New York.
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00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,230
Have a great night.
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00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,598
MAN:
And, we're clear.
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00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,632
Bummer.
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00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,201
I was hoping to
finally have sex
42
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,502
with you this
weekend, Scherbatsky.
43
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,971
Well, I'd give you
the "I don't date
44
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,473
coworkers" speech again,
45
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,176
but, God, you must have that
sum'bitch memorized by now.
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00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,277
Shame, though.
47
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,978
It was a pretty
hot show tonight.
48
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,580
The rhythmic give and take
49
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,382
of our improvised banter
there at the end
50
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,317
really got my
freak juice flowing.
51
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,019
Dude, he's right.
52
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,489
How many times do you have
to watch this crash and burn
53
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,690
before you say, "enough"?
54
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,692
One more. One more time.
55
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,127
One more big, beautiful,
stupid romantic gesture.
56
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,696
And then,
whatever she says,
57
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:09,963
yes or no,
that's it.
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00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,465
If it's yes, great.
59
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,468
If it's no, then I am done
going after Robin forever.
60
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:15,536
LILY:
So what's this
61
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,938
big, beautiful
romantic gesture?
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00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,509
I am going to make her...
63
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,876
a mix CD.
64
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,813
No, I'm kidding.
I got a plan.
65
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,148
Lily, I'm going to need the
spare key to Robin's apartment.
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00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,883
I see where
this is going.
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00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,486
Ted, waiting naked in
a girl's bed wearing
whipped cream undies
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00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,323
does not work... usually.
69
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,357
The setting...
70
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,758
Martha's Vineyard, 1999.
71
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,927
The characters: Yours
truly and a raven-haired
72
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,229
au pair by the name...
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00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,264
Universe.
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00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,899
So, this plan
you speak of?
75
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,936
Remember the first night
Robin and I went out?
76
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:53,441
I stole a blue French horn
for her and it almost worked.
77
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,476
Yeah. Dude,
that was awesome,
78
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,511
but how are you ever
going to top that?
79
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,985
She should be here any second.
80
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,255
Uh, we're pretty hungry.
81
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,689
When do we get our pizza?
82
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,025
Enough with the... we'll go get
pizza later, all right?
83
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,194
Just...
(rustling)
84
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,408
ROBIN:
Damn it.
85
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,348
(phone ringing)
Hello.
86
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,250
Hey, Lily, I'm locked out
of my apartment.
87
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,018
I need to come
pick up my extra key.
88
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,289
Extra key?
89
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,157
Do I have an extra key
to your apartment?
90
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,326
Yes, I gave it to you.
91
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,760
Oh, right. That key.
92
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,662
Yeah, I lost it.
93
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,732
Great, now I gotta go
to the locksmith.
94
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,066
No, wait, uh...
95
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,235
Maybe you should just knock.
96
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,804
Knock?
97
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,806
Lily, my dogs
aren't that well trained.
98
00:03:58,839 --> 00:03:59,940
(door opening)
99
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:04,678
(machine beeps)
100
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,347
Hello, Lily, this is Janet Kagan
101
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,781
at the Russell House
Art Foundation
102
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:08,816
here in San Francisco.
103
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,584
I'm pleased to inform you
that we've accepted
104
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,720
your application
for our summer fellowship.
105
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,655
We look forward
to hearing from you. Bye-bye.
106
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:15,756
Uh, Robin,
107
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,459
I-I gotta go.
Just knock, okay?
108
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,630
Summer fellowship?
109
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,064
Just knock.
110
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,433
Okay.
111
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:31,805
(romantic music playing)
112
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:32,906
Hi.
113
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,742
Hi.
114
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,619
Robin...
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00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,489
I've sort of said this already.
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00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,757
I mean I've half said it.
117
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,093
I've tried to say it,
and I've said it badly.
118
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,129
So this is me, just saying it.
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00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,365
With strings.
120
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,434
I'm crazy about you.
121
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,502
I think we should be together.
122
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,037
What do you say?
123
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,816
(romantic music playing)
124
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,317
What do you say?
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00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,318
Yes.
126
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,353
No.
127
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,154
I don't know.
128
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,390
Those are the three options.
129
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,991
Ted, this is so...
130
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,359
I know.
131
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,861
I come home, I was
going to watch Jeopardy
132
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,398
and there's a
string quartet and...
133
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,366
I have to pee.
134
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,435
Oh, I'm sorry.
135
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,404
Un, well, go ahead.
136
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,771
We'll, uh, we'll wait.
137
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,685
Yeah, 'cause when
we talked earlier,
138
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,554
you said there'd be pizza.
139
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,257
No, I said I'd get you
a pizza afterwards.
140
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,892
Look, could we talk
about this later?
141
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,161
I'm sort of professing
my love here.
142
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,430
Sure.
143
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,634
We're not getting
any pizza.
144
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,837
Okay.
(romantic music resumes)
145
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,839
Let's talk.
146
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,006
Okay.
147
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,809
Um...
148
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,511
Oh, hey, you guys
want to take five?
149
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:21,148
Thanks, guys.
Just need a minute.
150
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,916
Sort of a big
life decision.
151
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,618
Love the blue
instruments, though.
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00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,186
Kind of an inside joke.
153
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,555
Thanks.
154
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:30,758
You're crazy.
155
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:31,759
Right.
156
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:32,826
Come on.
157
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,095
It's not that I haven't
thought about this.
158
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,531
You know that I have,
but let's look at this, okay?
159
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,500
We only just started
being friends again.
160
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,369
I know. But... come on.
161
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,904
And we want different things.
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00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:44,705
That's still there.
163
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,406
That's not going away.
164
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,875
I mean,
what if we do this
165
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,511
and it doesn't work out
and I'd lose you as a friend?
166
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,813
I gotta
think about this.
167
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,147
Okay, fine.
168
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,415
Think about it
on the plane.
169
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,316
Let's go to Paris
for the weekend.
170
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,417
I'm serious.
171
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,952
I'm kidding.
I'm serious.
172
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,421
I can't go to Paris,
I'm going camping.
173
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,523
I thought that
thing was canceled.
174
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,824
Well, it's back on.
175
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,492
Since when?
176
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,594
Since like an hour ago.
177
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,697
...sending the storm
back out into the Atlantic.
178
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:13,000
So it's blue skies this weekend.
179
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,702
Sandy? Robin?
180
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,870
Thanks, Lou, but
that blue sky
181
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,673
isn't without at
least one cloud.
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00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,975
I'm sorry to announce
that one week from today
183
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,177
I will be leaving
Metro News One.
184
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,548
It has been an honor to bring
you the news each night,
185
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,249
and read the paper
to you each morning.
186
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,319
I will always
treasure it.
187
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,721
Good night, New York.
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00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,523
MAN:
And we're clear.
189
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,690
You're leaving?
190
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,026
There. I quit my job.
191
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,027
We're not coworkers.
192
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,030
Will you please
have dinner with me?
193
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,033
I'm joking.
I got offered a job at CNN.
194
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,568
Oh, congratulations.
195
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,302
Congratulations yourself.
196
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,904
What do you mean?
Well,
197
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,740
Joel asked me
who I thought
198
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,508
should replace me
as lead anchor.
199
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,476
I told him you.
200
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,047
They're announcing it
next week. Act surprised.
201
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,315
Wow.
202
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,817
Thanks.
203
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,153
And, yes.
204
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,120
Yes, what?
205
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,956
Yes, let's go get dinner.
206
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,360
How about this weekend
on the camping trip?
207
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:14,762
I roast a mean weenie.
208
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,398
Oh, you're kidding me.
209
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,533
No way.
210
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,701
Don't go on this thing.
211
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,135
Ted, I have to go.
212
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,571
It's a company camping trip.
213
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,773
Really? Because it also
kinda sounds like a date.
214
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,941
With Sandy... and his weenie.
215
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,377
I mean is this
not a date?
216
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,912
I don't-I don't know.
217
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,581
So, what?
218
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,048
You actually like this guy now?
219
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,784
I don't know.
220
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,418
Are you gonna hook up with him?
221
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,186
I don't know.
222
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,287
Yes, you do.
223
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,388
No, Ted, I don't.
224
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,323
And you know what? That's okay.
225
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,226
I don't plan out every second
of my life like you do.
226
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,527
I don't plan out every...
227
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,897
Oh, really? What is all of this?
228
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,965
I mean,
why can't you just say,
229
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,767
"Hey, Robin,
let's go get some sushi?"
230
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:57,437
No, it has to be
a-a string quartet and-and Paris
231
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:58,972
and flowers and chocolates
232
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,041
and let's spend the rest
of our lives together.
233
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,944
Don't you think we're a little
bit past sushi at this point?
234
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,412
God, you are
235
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,747
so terrified of anything real.
236
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,249
It's like you're
floating out in space.
237
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,418
Touch the
ground, Robin.
238
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,086
Live in the world,
make a mistake.
239
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,254
Make this mistake.
240
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,889
I need to think about this.
241
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,390
Fine.
242
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,793
No, I'm sorry, I...
243
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,629
I can't do this anymore.
244
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,996
I need an answer.
245
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:29,102
If you want me to say yes
right now, I-I can't do that.
246
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:32,740
Well, if it's not yes,
then it's a no.
247
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,343
Then I guess
it's not meant to be.
248
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,415
Nice try, buddy.
249
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,484
Good hustle out there.
250
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,386
Look at the bright side.
251
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,788
At least you got
some closure.
252
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,123
She's made her choice and
you can finally move on.
253
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,760
Screw that. This ain't over.
254
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,627
(all groaning)
255
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,162
Ted, you sat here
256
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,964
in this very booth
and you said...
257
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,899
I don't care
what I said.
258
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,067
This is gonna happen.
259
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,568
She can't say it's
not meant to be.
260
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,737
It i meant to be,
and you know why?
261
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,773
'Cause I mean it to be.
262
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:10,911
Unpause?
263
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:11,745
Unpause.
264
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:12,980
Let's pause.
265
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,882
See, Marshall and Lily
had a rule
266
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,750
that at any point
during a fight
267
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,652
they could pause
and take a break.
268
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,420
Their fights often lasted
for days.
269
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,023
A painting fellowship?
I was never going to take it.
270
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,726
In California?
I was never going
to take it.
271
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,628
Ted, she is going
on that camping trip.
272
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,798
Dude, barring
some act of God,
273
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,266
Robin's gonna be with
Sandy this weekend.
274
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,635
Fine.
275
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,005
If an act of God
is what it takes,
276
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:41,008
then an act of God it is.
277
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,844
What are you talking about?
278
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,347
I'm gonna make it rain.
279
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,557
I can't let Robin
go camping with this guy.
280
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,626
So how do I keep that
from happening?
281
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,294
Simple... I make it rain!
282
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,363
Ted, do you want me
to slap you again?
283
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,465
'Cause I kind of enjoyed
it the first time.
284
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,868
Look, I-I might be
crazy right now...
No, you know what?
285
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,103
I am definitely
crazy right now,
but I have a plan.
286
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,305
That girl you used
to go out with, Penelope,
287
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,241
wasn't she getting her PhD
in Native American culture?
288
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,409
Yeah.
Are you still
in touch with her?
289
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:19,079
Sure. I mean, even though
we stopped having sex,
290
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,981
we still get together,
like, once a month to
chat and catch up,
291
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,950
and of course I'm not
in touch with her!
292
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,385
Well, you're gonna need
to get in touch with her.
293
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,121
She's gonna teach me
how to do a rain dance.
294
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:32,292
Did you just say
a "rain dance"?
Yes.
295
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,728
A rain dance.
Yes.
296
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:37,330
A dance to make it rain.
297
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,298
Yes.
298
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,640
We're finding Penelope!
No, we are not!
299
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,442
Yes, we are!
Ted, you're forcing me
300
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:53,680
to be the voice of
reason, and it's not
a good look for me!
301
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,916
Why the hell
should I help you?
302
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,285
Come on, I know
it didn't work out between us,
303
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,954
but we did...
have a relationship.
304
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,290
We had sex twice
in your car,
305
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,624
and then you dumped me.
306
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,626
How is that
a relationship?
307
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,495
Twice!
308
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,662
Barney, there is
309
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:10,697
no way...
310
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,832
Shh!
311
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,066
(quietly):
Seriously, come on.
312
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,838
(quietly):
Penelope, I really need
to make it rain this weekend.
313
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,640
Why?
There's this girl...
314
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,776
(laughs):
"There's this girl."
315
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,611
You know,
the traditional rain dance
316
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,479
is a sacred prayer
to nature.
317
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,747
I don't think
318
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,216
the Great Spirit
looks too kindly
319
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,751
on white dudes
who co-opt it to get laid.
320
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,653
Penelope,
this is the girl I love.
321
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,222
If it doesn't rain this weekend,
322
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,991
she's gonna end up
with the wrong guy. Please.
323
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:43,296
This wrong guy,
is he a huge jackass?
324
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,197
Absolutely.
325
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,866
Kind of like Barney?
Kind of.
326
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,567
Hey.
You hit on my mom!
327
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,036
We weren't exclusive!
328
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,105
I'm in.
329
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,573
And so the three of us
330
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,076
headed up to the roof
of my building.
Okay.
331
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,411
Crouch down
and bend over a little bit.
332
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,746
Wow, it took five shots
333
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,915
of tequila to get you
in that position.
334
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,617
I will throw you
off this roof.
335
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:08,121
There's so much
of your mom in you.
336
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,459
And she's been throwing up
ever since.
337
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,962
So how'd she manage to
eat so much chocolate?
338
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,664
Remember that guy, Ted,
that I was telling you about?
339
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,533
Well, I came home
and I found him
340
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,870
waiting in my apartment
with a string quartet
341
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,404
and roses and chocolates...
342
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,806
Oh, that's so sweet.
343
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,675
Okay, yes, it's sweet in theory,
344
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,911
but isn't it also
kind of crazy?
345
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,679
I mean,
a string quartet
346
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,415
in my living room...
who does that?
347
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,649
Nobody does that.
348
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:37,851
Exactly.
349
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:40,320
No, honey...
nobody does that.
350
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,724
But I guess I'm just
a hopeless romantic.
351
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,060
I'm gonna put my hand
up your dog now.
352
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,866
So you're saying
you would forbid me from going?
353
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,201
Forbid? Who said forbid?
354
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,969
I was just reminding you
that there's this wedding
355
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,270
coming up
in a couple of months,
356
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,306
and I was kind of hoping
you'd save the day.
357
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,541
Look for me... I'll be the guy
in the awesome suit.
358
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,675
I mean,
come on, Lily.
359
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,045
It's what you've
always wanted.
360
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,347
Yeah, but there's a lot of
things I've always wanted,
361
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,249
and I haven't done
any of them.
362
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,650
I'm sorry.
363
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,687
I just need to do this
before settling down forever.
364
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:18,425
So now we've gone from
"I was never gonna do it"
to "I need to do this"?
365
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,128
Did I leave the room
at some point?
When did that happen?
366
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,063
Oh, maybe when you said
you wouldn't let me do it.
367
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,032
I never said that!
368
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,799
You know, if you're having
these kind of doubts now,
369
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:27,901
what's gonna change
in three months?
370
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,402
Maybe we just shouldn't
get married at all.
371
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,371
Maybe not.
372
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,142
Pause.
Pause.
373
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,977
So, are you just,
like, starving?
374
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,079
Totally. Red Lobster?
375
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,748
LILY:
* Oh, lobster,
lobster, lobster *
376
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,850
* You are delicious!
Oh, God,
377
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,285
I love butter sauce!
378
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,020
There's nothing bad about it.
379
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,556
Say something bad
about butter sauce, I dare you.
380
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,390
I wouldn't dare.
381
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,960
(crying)
Marshall, no.
382
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,694
We're on pause.
383
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,429
There's no crying
384
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,564
in Pauseland!
385
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,967
Pauseland is a magical place,
with-with...
386
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,568
popcorn shrimp mountains
387
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:02,936
and butter sauce rivers!
388
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,404
(sobbing)
389
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,638
Damn it.
390
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,640
* Happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy *
391
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,776
* Happy birthday,
happy, happy, happy, happy *
392
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:13,113
* Happy, happy birthday,
happy, happy... *
(Marshall and Lily sobbing)
393
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,725
Ted, this is funny.
394
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,560
Still funny.
395
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,462
Still fu...
396
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,364
And now it's sad.
397
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:35,068
Hey, Penelope, you sure
I'm doing this right?
398
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,636
I think so.
Uh-huh.
399
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,906
Does it, uh, look anything
like a real rain dance?
400
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,308
I think so.
401
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:44,577
Hey, Penelope,
have you, uh,
402
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,947
have you ever actually seen
a rain dance performed?
403
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,216
No.
404
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:52,485
No?
I've read
405
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,387
extensively on the subject:
firsthand accounts,
406
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,389
theoretical criticism,
the anthropological...
407
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,626
Have you ever seen
a rain dance?
408
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,961
I've seen a film strip.
409
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,430
Terrific. Uh,
look, I should run.
410
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,665
I'm getting brain surgery
from some guy who's seen
411
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,100
a couple episodes of E.R.
412
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,169
I can't believe this.
413
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,339
We've been up here
for the past hour making
complete asses of ourselves.
414
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,507
What do you mean "we,"
white man?
415
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,812
How did we get here?
416
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:22,849
Couple of days ago, the
biggest problem in my life
417
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:26,486
was, did Ted eat the
last pudding snack
pack in the fridge.
418
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,655
I think there's
still one left.
419
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,157
Dibs.
420
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,761
Unpause?
421
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:35,762
Unpause.
422
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,797
Look...
423
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,167
I know this sucks.
424
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,869
It's just something
I'm going through.
425
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,304
I'm not asking you
to understand it.
426
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,540
I'm not asking you
to be happy about it.
427
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,543
I... I'm just asking you
to support it.
428
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,782
I want to, Lily, okay?
429
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,217
I really do.
430
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,852
But I just can't.
431
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:03,090
Why not?
Because you're scaring the hell
out of me, that's why not.
432
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,892
What if you decide
to go be a painter
433
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,228
and then you realize I don't
fit in to your life anymore,
434
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,729
and three months
becomes forever?
435
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:10,863
Can you promise
me that
436
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,532
that's not gonna happen?
437
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,201
Marshall...
'Cause if you can't
438
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,203
promise me that, we should just
break up right now.
439
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,604
I'm not gonna wait around
for three months
440
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,206
just to have my heart
ripped out.
441
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,144
Marshall, I love you.
442
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,813
Can you promise me
that that's not gonna happen?
443
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,215
Pause.
444
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,649
No, Lily, we cannot
pause this anymore.
445
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,484
Can you promise me that
that's not gonna happen?!
446
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,253
Pause!
Why do you want me to pause?!
447
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,127
That's just a great use of
the pause function, baby.
Thank you.
448
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,166
(rhythmic grunting)
449
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,967
Hey, Ted.
450
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,002
Whatcha doing?
451
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,104
A rain dance.
452
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,739
Dude,
453
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:53,973
that's not a rain dance.
454
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,276
That's a fat kid
with a bee in his pants.
455
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,178
Look, I highly doubt
456
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,079
the Great Spirit is a stickler
for choreography.
457
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,315
It's the thought that counts.
458
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,417
She's leaving in half an hour.
459
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,021
These are your awesome years.
460
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,690
You're wasting them
on this girl.
461
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,024
This isn't gonna work!
462
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,626
Yeah. I know that.
463
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,162
Well, then why are
you doing this?
464
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,596
Because I love her.
465
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,664
I love her!
466
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,467
I told her that
the first night we went out,
467
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,035
and here it is, eight months
later, and nothing's changed.
468
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,805
So, yes, I know
this isn't gonna work.
469
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,807
But it has to work!
470
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,209
You hear me, universe?
471
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,645
This is Ted Mosby talking!
472
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,014
Give me some rain!
473
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,484
Come on!
474
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,752
Come on!
475
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,489
Come on...!
476
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,892
(thunder crashes)
477
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,861
Oh, come on!
478
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,333
(gasping, laughing)
479
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:04,177
Pushing the front back
into the tristate area
480
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,279
and giving Manhattan
one of its worst storms
481
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,980
in over a decade.
482
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,216
BARNEY:
How about that?
483
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,351
He did it.
484
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,005
Robin!
485
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,275
Hey, Robin!
486
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,414
Oh,
487
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:42,915
thank God you're here!
488
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,984
My camping trip got rained out.
489
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,719
I know. I'm sorry.
490
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,255
It's not your fault.
491
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,389
Yeah, it is.
492
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,023
Come down here.
493
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,159
It's pouring.
You come up.
494
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,262
No, you have to come down here.
495
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,029
(laughs):
Why?
496
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,900
Why? Because I made it rain,
that's what I did today!
497
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,235
And that's enough.
498
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,770
I-I've done my part.
499
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,472
Now, get down here!
500
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,341
I'm not dressed, Ted.
No. Come up.
501
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,477
I'm not coming up there, Robin,
I'm not.
502
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:13,012
You ha to come down here!
503
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,416
(laughs)
504
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,132
I was gonna...
505
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,233
I know.
506
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:55,288
And that's how Robin
and I ended up together.
507
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,790
Turns out, all I had to do
was make it rain.
508
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,992
As I rode home
the next morning,
509
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:03,330
the city looked the same,
the people looked the same,
510
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:06,232
it all looked the same,
but it wasn't.
511
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,000
In just one night,
512
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,603
everything had changed.
35247
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