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It's OK to be nervous.

I know how hard today is for you.

Listen, Barry had a death wish.

You did well to keep him alive for that long.

Tell them about the benzos, Jay - that it was your fault.

I can't!

You still can't get rid of Barry!

I'm a good nurse.

You were a good nurse.

When Mr Owens admitted to me...

..admitted that he had a relationship with Jamie's wife.

It wasn't an affair!

We get hurt easily. That's the risk we take.

The risk of living so close to the edge of the cliff.

You need a break from this job, Jamie.

14 years.

We never had another baby.

You are Gracie's father.

We've never done a test.

We've never done a test. No, I don't want to do a test.

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DANCE MUSIC

life-skill for a father to crack.

Bloody braids.

When life is hell, you'll do anything to cope.

To silence the voices.

You're on a slippery slope, Jay.

How do you feel?

I feel...

I don't know.

Try, Jamie.

OK.

I feel bloody great.

Although my life is in bits.

No point in wallowing, is there?

Yeah.

I'm hurting.

Of course I am.

Because, well, today's another day.

That's what you want to know, isn't it?

How I'm coping.

Work, family, everything.

Well..

..I'm fine.

I'm a model employee.

..after all the fiasco over the resignation...

..and then me un-resigning.

Can I go now?

I mean, I know how this works.

I'm really not just trying to tick the boxes...

..and I understand

What about Paula?

I know what 'boundaries' are, OK.

The main reason Paula latched on to me...

..is that I'm the only one who's shown her some kindness in her life.

And actually see her as a person.

turned out very differently...

..when she turned up at the house.

That's why there are protocols in place.

Protocols!

OK, I can't work with her any more.

So everybody's happy.

MOBILE

That's...

Gracie lives with her mother...

..who has decided to leave me, so...

..happy days.

Perhaps Janette is right.

Maybe...

..we're better off apart.

Do you really think a trained

I don't think she knows.

Are you worried who knows you're shagging the boss?

Your life is in bits, Jamie.

Don't you have an 'off' button?

What about Janette?

Can you check this report for me?

the half million seconds mark!

Alcohol free.

Just over five days...

..long!

You're doing great.

I'm so proud of you.

Jay, Gracie's on the phone.

Hiya.

Not turned up?

Yeah.

Thanks for phoning.

Oh, come on! This isn't Gracie's fault.

For fuck's sakes!

Sorry.

Bloody headache.

Really?

You're pathetic.

You don't have a headache.

ALARM

Unit 1 - Rod?

Not you, Jamie.

Gwenno, come on.

These episodes are happening more often. Just let me speak to her.

Don't you dare.

ALARM

or do anything stupid.

PAULA SCREAMS

Nobody listens to me!

OK, Paula, come on.

OK, Paula, come on. I said the dosage was wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Paula, it's all OK.

See if there's a bed available.

Everything's wrong!

Paula, try to breathe with me.

The ugly, little troll.

I need to go home.

Sherbert is on his own.

He's going to starve.

I need to go and save him,

Lili, will you send a referral to the safeguarding unit.

Huw, she collects trolls and just needs to know that they're OK.

Make sure the request is sent. OK?

He'll starve!

Delay that request for Paula

Jamie, please don't get involved.

One hour, I'll be back.

One hour, I'll be back. Jamie!

I hope the fairies are behaving better than those twats I work with.

Hey, you know you don't have

I'm trying to remember if I saw him this morning.

Arriving together - people will talk.

Oh, I've arranged a meeting for you today, with Dr Janus.

They have an opening for a research

It would look great on your CV if you ever want to climb the ladder.

Wow!

Thanks.

Straight after lunch. Don't be late.

Oh, and ask them about the Dark Side of Smiles project. OK?

He never takes this off.

It stops the fairy rebellion.

MOBILE

Everything alright, Melvyn?

Everything alright, Melvyn? Well, the thing is...

Dad, are you going to tell me what I've done wrong...

Sorry, I told her you were busy with one of your clients.

Dad, I have a comp tonight...

..and all the Welsh hip hoppers are going to braid their hair...

..and you know how hopeless Mam is when it comes to braids.

Do you think you can bunk off work just for like, ten minutes?

DOG BARKS

DOG BARKS Dad?

Dad?

Yes, of course, I'll be there.

No problem.

Thanks, Dad.

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Are you sure?

Yes, she won't be here. She's off every Wednesday.

You've got a dog?

No, it's not mine.

I'm in a bit of a rush.

I'm in a bit of a rush. ..sensibly.

Come on.

Come on!

Please, I beg you...

..don't shut Gracie out.

..don't shut Gracie out.

I'm just finding it hard to face the situation.

But Gracie doesn't know anything about...

..the situation.

I can't look at Gracie.

Because, when I do, I just see...

..his face looking back at me.

Jay?

Mine.

We can sort this out.

You're still seeing him, aren't you?

He's filling up your head - there's no room for anything else.

Or anyone else.

I have to pay for these.

Hi, it's Jamie from the Crisis Unit.

Just wondering if you've had an admission.

A homeless man who goes by the name of Gwynn ap Nudd.

Goodness me, Jams.

Sorry about earlier, you know what Gracie's like.

Can you look after him for me?

Couple of hours, Melvyn I'm completely desperate.

The thing is...

The thing is... (MARY) Don't you start!

I have nothing to give.

Do you have visitors?

Doesn't understand a thing about depressed glassware, she says!

It's mine!

It's mine! I'd better go.

There we go.

Is everything alright?

Yes, yes. I'll see you later.

Don't look at me like that.

You need to leave.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Why are you looking at me like that? Mary?

Somebody has come to see you.

Look.

Oh!

MOBILE

Five minutes.

Where've you been?

An hour, you said.

Bit of a hitch, but I'm here now.

And I've a favour to ask of you.

Oh, my God, Jamie, whatever you're planning, please don't involve me.

Oh, my God, it's so cute.

Paula's dog.

How did you...?

No no no no!

And Paula needs to know it's OK.

I want you to show her the photo.

And give her this.

I'm not even allowed

You don't have to - just put this under the door. OK?

Show her the photo.

Lili, don't start overthinking it.

Lili, don't start overthinking it. Yes, but what if...?

For fuck's sakes!

Is this how you want to live your life?

Do you think you can just step up, once!

For the dog?

Course you can.

Go on.

Go!

KNOCKING

SIGHS WITH RELIEF

Check those figures.

Erm...

..can I phone you back?

OK. Thanks.

Shit.

Everything OK, Jamie?

Tip-top, Huw.

Any news about the place for Paula?

They're full. We could assess the situation again in a few hours.

Gwenno thinks Paula has settled.

Don't you?

Erm, yes.

Yes, she's not any worse.

Rod, there's a copy of Dr Janus'

Thanks.

I've got an interview for a research post with Dr Janus.

I think I've got a good chance too.

MOBILE

Hello?

Listen, Jamie, I've just heard of a possible sighting...

Near Hendy Pool last night.

Hendy Pool - fuck!

OK, thanks.

With everything going arse over tit in your life...

..how have you got time to go after that deadbeat?

Sorry, Gwens,

Those headache tablets haven't touched the sides.

Have you got any stronger ones?

Sorry, one moment.

Can you spare the packet?

For later on?

You're an angel.

Whatever gets me through the day,

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Hey!

I'm just looking for an old bloke.

Looks really scruffy, wears a hat with badges on it.

He's looking for the two weirdos

Two?

Where?

Down by the river. She was batshit crazy.

She?

Do you want some stuff, or what?

Did you see a man or woman?

Did you see a man or woman? Man and woman.

They just scarpered.

Top-speck stuff.

Dickhead!

MESSAGE ALERT

'Good luck with Dr Janus!'

'Good luck with Dr Janus!' Oh, fuck!

Have you seen this Dr Janus?

Lili!

you use me all the time.

I'm sorry.

Sorry about everything.

OK?

Natalie's office.

Rod should be finished now.

Thank you.

Good afternoon.

Jamie Morris.

Punctual. On the dot, Mr Morris.

Come in.

Somebody thinks very highly of you.

I understand that you retrained after being a paramedic.

What inspired you to do that?

I saw so many people suffering from

I wanted to make a difference.

(BARRY) Bullshit.

That's the official line, anyway.

But if I'm honest, I was desperate to help a friend who was suffering.

And I mean seriously suffering.

And did you?

Loads of times.

Until the last time.

The thing is, not everyone wants to be saved.

They play with you.

Play on your nerves, on your emotions.

Shut up!

It's all a game to them.

to suffer as they've suffered.

And you have to ask if you have the right...

..to step in sometimes.

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

How did it go?

I turned the job down.

You did what?!

of Dark Side of Smiles or...?

I'm not looking for critique - I want somebody who can read people...

..understand people, feel their emotions.

Someone who recognises the truth.

Well...

Dr Janus...

..I really think you're interviewing the wrong person.

Sorry?

Listen, as I am right now...

..I can't even recognise the truth...

..when it sits on my sofa eating

So, seriously, at the moment...

..I'm the last person you need.

You're a bloody liability.

You do realise I've gone out of my way to do you a favour.

And I really appreciate that.

And I really appreciate that.

Yes, I do.

Follow me.

Now!

Do I need to worry about people finding out about what we did?

No, honestly.

I won't tell anyone.

You wouldn't want your wife to find out, would you?

MOBILE

Jams, I'm sorry...

..but Meribelle is more tricky than Mary.

I'll be there now.

Watch yourself - it's like Dancing on Ice in here.

Is that why you're limping?

as I got out of the bath.

Gosh, Mary!

Jams has come to see us - look.

You've already had breakfast, haven't you?

What about a, erm...

Oh, how about a little ice cream?

I don't want it.

No, come on now, Mary.

No! No, it's mine.

My! My!

MARY CRIES

You didn't slip when you came out of the bath, did you?

That cut you've got?

It's just a little bad patch.

..what doesn't break you, makes you stronger.

But perhaps you need someone...

Just because it's hard, it doesn't mean I can give up.

We're married.

For better...

..for worse.

is a privilege.

Perhaps it's time you had a little more help for Mary?

I could say the same about you.

Look at your life. It's in tatters!

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like my heart

Seen Gwynn at all?

Not at all?

Haven't seen him around the area at all?

Gwynn!

Gwynn! Hell is calling, Jamie.

The King has returned!

Do you want one?

I'll leave you two then.

Oh!

Susan?

A mistake.

An old mistake.

We used to run the committee of the local Communist Party for a while.

After I'd had the second breakdown.

I had to leave as somebody

I got the blame...

..although I suspect that Susan was the thief.

Then I had breakdown number three.

So you've forgiven her?

Everyone can change, can't they?

As it happens,

When I woke this morning, the little sod had taken my watch.

Grandad's watch?

Yeah.

Sorry.

I know I'd promised it to you.

It doesn't matter about the watch.

I was really worried

..for good.

I thought you'd be glad to get rid of me.

I accepted years ago that this is how you want to live...

..but I still need to know that you're here.

Safe.

I hope the fairies behave tonight, that's all.

See you tomorrow, Dad.

I've arranged the referral.

Thanks, Gwenno.

A third good result of the day.

So, finally...

..Paula.

Can anyone explain how this landed up in her room?

Don't look at me.

I haven't been near her.

The doctor is willing for us to keep an eye on her for a few days...

..before I...

..make a managed move

Right, well, another good result.

I'd like to finish with some good news - congratulations to Rod...

..for getting a place on Dr Janus' research team.

Congrats, Rod.

Thank you.

I'd say let's go to the pub,

And before you drag out the bunting, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm doing the research on the job.

Right - "that's all for today" as they say.

Tomorrow's another day. Thanks.

Jamie, if I find out that you had

Yes.

Bollocks, frame, wall.

I know.

(JANETTE) I can forgive that you forgot what happened 18 years ago.

You're trying your old tricks.

(BARRY) You're useless without her.

has taken enough from you already?

You've given too much.

You should be on the meds.

You need help.

You need help. You promised.

(MELVYN) Your life's in tatters.

It looks as if we've both

You know what might help?

Erm, listen...

Erm, listen... You shouldn't overthink things.

Best not to think.

Just do.

I'm sorry.

I just can't...

Your turn.

Don't you want to be free of those thoughts?

Don't you want to surf above all your problems?

Be free?

Everything OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

For next time.

Why are we...?

When I was a little girl, do you know what I used to like to do?

I'd go round rockpools in the springtime with a scissors...

..and cut the tadpoles' tails off.

What would a therapist

I'll see you tomorrow.

MESSAGE ALERT

'S.O.S. GRACIE PISSED. In the park by the statue. Please come.'

No! Leave me alone.

No!

If you want this you have to come down.

What are you doing here, Jamie?

This has got nothing to do with you.

I had texts, missed calls...

You're in no fit state.

Do you really want Gracie and Janette to see you like this?

No! You don't care about me.

Are they alright?

Says the guy who reeks of sex and Coco Chanel.

Just go.

Let go.

And you're good at doing that, aren't you?

You think we're all one,

Hello?

Wil?

DOOR CLOSES

Remember that birthday when you took me to Disneyland Paris...

..although you hate rollers?

I mean, that's what a proper dad does.

And, then,

..and Mam was really pissed off.

I mean...

..hero status.

Next birthday...

..I stopped piano lessons.

And, genuinely, like, that was...

..the best present ever.

And now...

What have I done, eh?

What have I done, Dad...

..that's freaked you out so much?

Hey!

We're butties, right?

Always have been.

The dancing, the raves.

How many times did I end up

You do know, though, deep down...

..that you let me go.

No!

Yes, you looked in my eyes...

..and said...

..and said... Don't tempt me, Barry.

Please, just let me go.

Don't tempt me!

Janette will never forgive me if you fall.

You're messing with my head.

Please stop.

You don't even exist.

So, what am I then?

Eh?

Who do you see?

You're turning into one of your crackpots, Jamie.

One of your 'service users'.

Fuck!

May we ask what's behind this new Jamie?

I'm after your job.

or your balls will be on the wall.

You can have it back in the morning.

And I've done the laundry too.

The new Jamie.

God help us all.

Thanks for looking after him.

Thanks for looking after him.

Sherbert is my dog. Find your own dog.

I can't think straight when you're talking shit in my ear non-stop!

Go on, then. What's the excuse this time? Work?

Lily Lily!

Bullying another member of staff

..is not acceptable.

Do you know what? I don't need you.

This is cosy.

A word of advice...

..don't get dragged into her little game.

You want someone to control you?

She is dangerous.

S4C subtitles by Equivalent

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