Original subtitles

-I am not Irving Berlin.

-More classical than that.

No, I am not Berlioz.

-Another one.

-I am not Brahms.

-Are you a famous New York conductor?

-No, I am not Leonard Bernstein.

-Are you a famous murderer?

-Good try, I am not Lizzie Borden.

-I hope you stump him darling, because I

am running out of beads.

-All right.

Are you a well-known, 18th century English jurist?

-A typical lawyer's question, Burt.

No I am not Sir William Blackstone.

Cynthia?

-I pass.

You know, every time we play Botticelli with you,

I feel like a drop out.

-Do I see the flutter of white flags?

-Go ahead, tell us who it is.

-No, no, no, please, let's keep guessing.

-We'll be here all night.

Come on, Ray.

-It's very simple, Josef Breuer.

-Who?

-Breuer.

He and Freud co-authored stories on hysteria.

That's unfair, Doctor Flemming, you're a psychiatrist,

you should have picked someone everyone knew.

-Well, like who, honey?

Last time we played the game, you

were stumped by Alexander Graham Bell.

-Has my husband finished dazzling

you with his intelligence?

Because I have a little surprise for everyone.

Everyone ready?

Denise found out about our anniversary and insisted.

-I insist we get in this while it's cold.

-I think a toast is in order.

To our host and hostess, on the 10th anniversary

of their horrible mistake.

-You better rephrase that, counsellor.

-Pleasure, your honor.

To the two finest people I ever knew.

Here's to 10 more years of happiness.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Excuse me.

Hello.

Now?

Can't it wait?

We're having a party here.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

-Believe me, anything Henri chooses is superb.

He's got the best wine cellar in town.

Excuse me.

What is it, darling?

-It's a patient, I'm afraid I have to leave.

-This is our anniversary.

-But it's an emergency.

He's having an anxiety attack.

-You're not a family doctor.

You don't have to go chasing off every time

somebody runs out of tranquilizers.

-Darling, we've been through this before.

-I won't allow you to leave, we have guests.

-They shouldn't see us arguing, should they?

You make my excuses, I'll try to get back before they leave.

-Do you love me?

How much?

-This much.

Well actually, I should be strangling you.

-Why?

-You know I was giving a party.

-I had to see you.

When I'm alone, I don't know, I get confused.

-Second thoughts?

-A few.

-It's a natural reaction under the circumstances.

-I keep wishing there was some other way.

-There isn't.

-What if you talked to her, if I talked to her.

-Joan don't be naive.

We have one alternative, we decided that a long time ago.

-It's funny, I can't even picture what she looks like.

Are we really so different?

-Completely.

-All right, I'm younger than she is, I'm prettier.

But she's probably more intelligent than I am.

-Uh-huh.

It's a kind of destructive intelligence.

-Why me?

What do I got to offer?

Typical actress, too many bit parts and too much ambition.

-I like ambition.

-For all the good it's done me.

-It brought you to me, didn't it?

-With my nails gnawed off and every neurosis in the book.

I was in great shape wasn't I?

It's not a bad shape at all.

-Ray.

-Yeah.

-Ray, you do love me, don't you?

-Very much.

-I won't disappoint you tomorrow.

-I never thought you would.

I didn't think you'd be up.

-Don't bother to undress, you're sleeping in the guest room.

I've turned down the bed.

-Carol.

-I think you should know I'm calling

my lawyers in the morning.

-It's been a long day, do we have to start on that again?

-You'll have to indulge me just this one last time, deary.

It's lucky for you, I'm too well-bred to throw a tantrum.

-All right, fire away.

-Six months ago, I gave you a choice between me

and your-- oh, how should I put it-- extracurricular activity.

-I made that choice.

I wanted a husband in fact, not just in appearance.

If you refused, I'd divorce you.

-There was a catch to that, as I recall.

-Well, naturally, you don't think

I'm going to make it easy for you.

I'd create as much scandal as I possibly could

and ruin your practice entirely.

-Aside from taking every penny that I've got.

-Those were my terms.

You accepted them.

Until tonight.

-Carol, none of this is necessary.

I told you, I was with a patient.

-Till one in the morning?

What are you doing, giving discount rates?

-On my way home I dropped by to see Doctor Cobb.

He was the referral psychoanalyst

and we discussed the case.

-Do you really expect me to believe that.

-Well call him.

-What's that going to prove, he's a friend of yours.

-Well his wife is a friend of yours, talk to her.

Hang up, hang up.

I haven't seen Cobb for two weeks.

-Then you've been lying to me.

-Oh but not the way you think.

Well I guess the game's up.

I stopped by the hospital to see Doctor Rosales.

We talked about the trip you and I

were going to take to Acapulco.

-Acapulco?

-Yeah, we leave tomorrow night.

Well, I thought we could use a couple of days in the sun,

just you and me.

Happy anniversary, darling.

-Oh, Ray, darling.

-That's why I stopped in to see Rosales.

He's from Mexico, and I thought maybe

he could fill me in on what to do when we got there.

-When didn't you tell me?

-Well I was saving it for breakfast,

I wanted it to be a surprise.

-And I almost ruined it.

Oh, darling.

-So you're going to have a big day tomorrow.

Why don't you get some sleep.

I think I'll read for a while.

-Ray.

-You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

-Thank you.

-Oh darling, you're tense.

-A little.

-Did you get any sleep last night?

-No.

Maybe an hour or two.

-Take one of these when you get home.

-What are they?

-Sleeping pills.

I want you to get some rest this afternoon.

-I can't, I'm working.

-It's an odd time to be pursuing your career, isn't it?

-How many chances do I get?

It's a good part.

-Let's concentrate on the part you're playing tonight.

You think it'll fit?

Might be a little big.

-Noticeably?

-No, I don't think so.

Shall I take it home with me?

-No, I know what you're wearing it until it's necessary.

-This photograph is the best one I have of her.

In the other she's standing off in the distance

and wearing sunglasses.

Notice the makeup.

-She uses a heavy eyebrow pencil.

-What about the wig?

-I'll get it from the studio makeup department today,

they'll never know it's missing.

-Good.

You take that along with you as reference,

but be sure you bring it back tonight.

Now what about the timing?

-I'll be at your apartment at nine o'clock.

-But no sooner.

And how do you get there?

Car?

-You're testing me.

-Do you mind?

-No, I suppose we both have to be sure about things.

I won't drive, I'll come by bus.

I'll get off a few blocks away and walk.

-Right.

Use the back entrance to the garage,

then take the service elevator.

Apartment number?

-You're in the penthouse.

I ring the bell twice.

-Anything else?

Joan.

-The sunglasses.

-Good girl.

And a large purse for the dress.

Are you sure of everything, shall I do it over again?

-No, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

-Oh, it'll be fine, I promise you.

Just pretend you're working on a role right down to the props.

I'll see you tonight.

-Ten o'clock.

Thank you very much.

The plane's leaving on schedule.

-Then you'd better hurry.

-Oh darling, let's not rush.

Here, let me help you with that.

You're a brilliant man, but you're not very mechanical.

-That's what wives are for.

-That, and other things.

Burt Gordon called today.

-Anything important?

No, just to wish us a pleasant trip.

-He could use a vacation himself.

You know he's prosecuting two new cases next month?

-Well that's when he gets for having political ambitions.

Do you remember him when he was in law school?

-Vaguely.

-I never saw anybody work so hard, including you.

-I didn't have to, my wife had a rich father.

-And you married me for my money.

-Not yours, darling, your father's.

-I like to think you loved me a little.

Didn't you?

-Of course I did.

Is an aide coming tomorrow?

-Well as far as I know.

-Well why don't you give her a call and check, sometimes

she forgets.

-Oh.

Say, did you see my blue dress?

My blue wool?

-What?

My blue wool dress, I was going to take it on the trip,

but I can't find it anywhere.

-Maybe you sent it to the cleaners.

-Oh, no it should be in the closet.

Where's that address book?

Ah.

Charlotte, this is Mrs. Fleming.

I just want to be sure you'd be in tomorrow.

Good.

Oh, and don't forget to water the plants, huh?

You've got your key, huh.

Good.

Oh, yes, we will.

Thank you very much.

Bye.

She's coming in at 10.

-Good.

-Drink, darling?

-No, set it down, will you?

Such a beautiful night, isn't it?

-I hadn't noticed.

Perfect weather for flying.

You can see for miles.

Do you know what I was thinking?

-What?

-When we get back we must redecorate.

The place looks cold.

It should have warmer colors.

Maybe we should buy some paintings of soup cans.

-If you think so.

-You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Oh, we're going to have such a wonderful time

in these few days.

Does your secretary know where you're going?

-Only that we're in Mexico.

No specifics.

-Good.

Complete privacy.

You're going to have a nice, quiet, weekend.

-You'd better close the door, and then change.

-Oh.

Our second honeymoon may be better than our first.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello.

Oh hello, Burt.

How are you?

Why Aunt Carol told me you'd call.

Oh, fine, fine, we're just leaving.

Oh, no, she's-- she's dressing.

Yes, I'll tell her.

I'd better be going now, Burt.

Give our love to Cynthia, will you?

Right.

[DOORBELL CHIME]

[DOORBELL CHIME]

Joan.

Did anyone see you come up?

There's a drink on the bar, take it.

-No, I--

-Take it.

And I want you to wear these gloves.

-Don't please.

I don't need a drink, I'll be all right.

-Be careful not to touch anything.

Did you bring the photograph?

The wig?

-And some shoes to go with the dress.

-Very good.

Put this on.

Come on, get ready.

It looks fine.

-It won't fool anybody.

-Well don't be negative.

-Suppose we see someone who knows your wife.

I don't even look like her?

-People see what they expect to see,

it the principle of association.

You're dressed like Carol, you're travelling with me,

that means you are my wife.

-Are we ready?

-Not yet.

Make your call to the cleaners.

What are you waiting for?

-Well, won't they be closed this time of night?

-They're open till midnight.

-Rodeo Cleaners?

This is-- this is Mrs. Flemming, Cumberland

Apartments on Wilshire.

I have a bundle of laundry and some things to clean.

-It'll be outside the door.

-I'm leaving it outside the door.

Will you have someone pick it up first thing in the morning?

Thank you.

-Fine.

The sunglasses.

Where are they?

-I know I have them.

-Good.

Now put these on.

-Why?

-She always wore them with that dress.

When you get back from the airport,

add the dress and the gloves to that bundle.

What about the wig?

-I'll return it Monday.

No one will know I have it.

-Fine.

Are you ready?

-I think so.

-Let's get started.

Light.

-Doctor and Mrs. Ray Fleming, ticket on 12A.

Thank you.

Afraid you're 13 pounds overweight, doctor.

-Put it on my credit card, will you?

-Mrs. Fleming?

-Carol.

-Mrs. Fleming?

-Yes?

-Will you be carrying any hand luggage aboard?

-No.

-Will you sign here please, doctor?

Thank you very much.

That'll be at 8:35 boarding in about three minutes.

Have a pleasant trip, sir.

-Thank you.

AIRPORT LOUDSPEAKER: Flight number 12A for Acapulco

is in the final boarding process at gate number 35.

Passengers having reservations for this flight

should be on board.

-May I have your names, please?

-Doctor and Mrs. Fleming.

Aisle 3, seats A and B.

-Thank you.

Remember, don't call or try to get in touch with me,

I'll reach you.

-When will I see you?

-Oh, not for a while.

At least a week.

-Ray, I'm worried.

-Don't be, just try to get some rest.

And don't read the papers, they'll upset you.

Shall we get started?

-What should I say?

-You're an actress, darling, improvise.

If you feel that way, why'd you agree to come along.

-That's a good question, I really don't know.

You never wanted to take this trip in the first place.

-Can you blame me?

What am I supposed to do, sit in our room while you go fishing?

-Maybe you'd rather not go at all?

-Maybe I wouldn't.

-Well fine, spend the weekend with your friends

and run up a nice bar bill.

-Leave my friends out of this.

-Can you lower your voice?

People are listening.

-I don't care who's listening I wasn't

the one that started this.

-You're making a scene.

-Ugh, this is impossible.

-What do you think you're doing.

-Isn't it obvious?

I'm leaving.

-Carol, don't be a fool.

-Have they shut the door yet?

-No, ma'am, but we're just about to.

-Enjoy yourself.

I'm sure you'll have a better time without me.

-Carol.

-Is there anything I can do, sir?

-No, let her go.

Miguel, why don't you fix us some lunch?

I'm starving.

-Doctor Fleming?

-Who are you?

-Lieutenant Columbo, police.

-I don't understand.

What's happened here?

Where's my wife?

-Maybe you'd better sit down, I've got some bad news for you.

-Has something happened to Carol?

-You sure you don't want to sit down?

-Has she been in an accident?

-Not exactly.

Well, what is it?

Tell me.

-Well, somebody broke in here and tried to kill her.

-Tried to kill her?

-That's right, doctor, she's lucky she's still alive.

-She's still alive?

Oh, where is she now?

-She's at the hospital.

You sure you don't want a drink--

water, brandy, something?

-Oh no, no.

I want to know how she is.

Is she conscious?

Has she been able to-- to say anything?

-Well I'm afraid not, she's been in a coma.

-Well what's her condition right now?

Well come on, I must know the truth.

-It's not very good, doctor.

We only hope that she comes to long

enough to be able to talk to us.

-I've got to see her.

-Doctor, don't you think you ought to rest a while?

After all it's been quite a shock.

-Well if you can understand, my wife's in the hospital,

she may be dying.

I want to see her.

-All right.

I've got a car downstairs.

[PHONE RINGING]

-I don't want to talk to anyone now.

It might be the hospital, doc, they know I'm here.

-Hello this doctor Fleming.

-Darling, I just had to talk to you.

The newspapers--

-No, I can't keep any appointments today.

Why don't you come in Friday at two.

My secretary will verify it.

-Ray, is there someone with you?

-They expect me to be on call at all hours.

-Same with me, doc.

-Nurse, I'm Doctor Fleming, my wife is a patient here,

I'd like to see her.

-I'm afraid she's on the critical list,

she's not permitted to have any visitors.

-But miss, I am a doctor.

-I'm sorry, but my orders are--

-Is Doctor Lansberry still chief of staff here?

Can you tell him that Doctor Ray Fleming

is here and would like to see him?

-He may be in surgery, doctor.

-But you wouldn't know that unless you checked.

Would you mind?

-Doctor Lansberry, please, reception.

There's a Doctor Fleming here, he insists on seeing his wife.

Yes, thank you.

He's being paged, doctor.

-Thank you.

Hospital red tape.

-Yeah, I know what you mean, doc.

-Well, lets get on with it.

-Get on with what?

-Your red tape.

This-- this thief-- did he leave any traces?

-Oh no.

No, not a thing.

But of course, we might be able to run him down

when he tries sell the stuff he stole.

We can't be sure, but we think maybe he

stole some of your wife's jewelry and some other things.

Listen, doc, when you get a chance,

would you make out a list of what was stolen?

-Of course.

-And then we can-- we check with the fences and the pawn shops,

and who knows, you know, something might turn up.

Oh, a few questions for my report, doc.

Now uh-- you were in Mexico when this thing took place.

And the dates there were-- you don't have a pencil do you?

Thanks.

You know, my wife, she gives me one every morning,

and I just can't seem to hold on to it.

Ah, oh yes.

Now, we know that you were in Mexico,

but the local police down there they

couldn't seem to locate you.

-Yes, I was in a little village about 20 miles from Acapulco.

It was very quiet, and relaxing, and hardly any telephones.

LOUDSPEAKER: Doctor Lansberry, call reception desk, please.

-I suppose you know about what happened on the plane?

-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, we talked with the airline people

and they told us that you and your wife checked in,

but whoa that really threw us.

But then of course we contacted the stewardess,

and she explained what happened.

-This is my fault.

We had an argument on the plane-- something ridiculous.

I never thought that she'd actually leave.

-Yeah, she probably went home and went right to bed.

I guess the attack was close to midnight.

I mean we know that she was at the airport at 10:00.

-Lieutenant, if there's any further way that

I could be of assistance to you--

-Oh no, no, you just make out that list, that would be fine,

doc.

-Thank you.

-Oh, oh, one more thing before I forget.

I had to borrow a photograph the other day,

I hope you don't mind.

-A photograph?

-Yeah, a picture of you and your wife.

We had to have something to show the stewardess

for identification.

-I see.

-She was still out of town, but we contacted her by phone

and we sent the picture down by wire photo.

-And?

-She identified your wife.

Picture wasn't too clear, but she recognized her.

-Ray.

I was hoping to find you here.

Are you all right?

-I'm holding up, I suppose.

-I just don't know what to say, it's terrible.

Why we just saw her at your party.

-I know.

Now what happened on Friday?

When I called the two of you were getting ready to leave.

-We had an argument on the plane.

Suddenly Carol decided she wasn't going

and she walked off.

I shouldn't have let her.

-Well you can't blame yourself.

How could you possibly have known?

-Have you heard anything yet?

-Not yet, doctor.

-Lieutenant Columbo, my name's Gordon,

I'm with the district attorney's office.

-Yes, sir, I know.

-I appreciate it.

Anything you can do for Doctor Fleming,

he's a good friend of mine.

-I'll try.

-Ray.

We're going to find the man that is responsible for this.

As soon as Carol gets better and can give us a full description.

Oh and by the way, Cynthia wants you

to spend the next few days with us.

-Let me think about it, will you?

-I understand.

-Doctor Fleming?

Doctor Lansberry on the phone.

-Hello, doctor.

There's something I want you to do for me.

-Any progress so far?

-Well it's still a little early, but sooner

or later something usually breaks.

-Hmm, well let's make that sooner, right lieutenant?

-Try my best.

-I'm sure you will.

I don't think I have to remind you that this could be

quite the little feather in your cap.

Wrap it up and everybody's happy.

Lieutenant?

-I'm sorry I was-- I was just thinking about something.

-What was that?

-Oh it's nothing important.

It's-- Doctor Fleming, he didn't call to his wife when

you came back to his apartment.

-I don't follow you.

-Oh well I was in the bedroom, I was checking some things,

and I heard him open the front door

and he didn't say anything.

It's funny how people are different, isn't it?

Now you take myself, when I come home from a trip, first thing

I do, is I say, honey, you here?

-Exactly what is your point lieutenant?

-Point?

Oh I wasn't making a point.

-It sounded to me as if you were.

You heard the men admit that he had an argument with his wife.

He probably still had a chip on his shoulder this morning.

-I was only--

-Lieutenant, I have already told you that doctor Fleming is

a close personal friend of mine.

Now I hope he's not going to be annoyed

by a lot of tactless remarks, especially at a time like this.

-Well I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon.

I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it.

LOUDSPEAKER: Doctor Ferrell, surgery four please.

-Yeah.

Thank you, Doctor Lansberry.

They're letting me go up to see her.

-Good.

Do you need company?

-No, I'd rather be with her alone.

-I'll have to go with you, doc.

-Why?

-Well we got a man on the door.

It's all right, officer.

This is her husband.

-I'm sorry lieutenant, nobody's allowed in right now.

-Well why not?

-She's conscious.

The doctor's with her.

-Well maybe we got lucky.

-Oh doctor.

I'm the patient's husband.

Is she-- is she all right?

-I'm sorry, she passed away.

-Did she-- did she say anything?

-If it's any consolation, the one thing she said

was your name.

-Getting some fresh air?

-I was on my way back from lunch.

-Well, as a matter of fact, I was

headed toward your office myself.

Do you mind if I walk along?

-Not at all.

Any news?

-No, nothing much Doctor.

We're just sort of waiting around

until our friend tries to get rid of the jury.

-I'd imagine he'd hold onto it for awhile.

-Yeah, probably.

Have I had any calls, Miss Petrie?

-Five or six, I left a list on your desk.

-First day back and everyone wants me to hold their hands.

-You know, I've never been in a psychiatrist's office before.

First time.

I keep waiting for the couch.

-So do my patients, I keep tell them

it's bad for their posture.

-Posture, that's very good.

I'll tell you, you put me in a horizontal position,

I'd fall asleep.

Nice office, though.

It seems restful.

I guess it puts people in the mood to talk, huh?

You know, my sister, she has a living

room that's very, very modern.

Well the minute you sit down in it, you can't open your mouth.

You know she's got this big, kidney shaped coffee table.

It upsets me just to look at it.

Her husband, he doesn't say anything,

and I figure the coffee table got to him years ago.

-Is there something I can do for you?

-Oh no, not really, doctor, no.

I just came up to bring back your pen.

I forgot to give it to you at the inquest.

-Oh thanks, I missed it.

-You know, that's my trail I got a bad memory.

My wife tells me I ought to have strings on all 10 fingers.

-Was there anything else you wanted?

-Oh no, it's nothing important.

There's one detail that bothers me.

What is that?

It's-- it's about your luggage.

-My luggage?

-I think you need fluid here.

Oh no, maybe.

Oh yeah.

Boy, that's quite a flame, huh?

-You were talking about my luggage.

Yeah.

-Now you took two suitcases with you, didn't you?

-Well actually, we packed more than we needed.

-Well I went out to the airport the other day,

you know, just a routine check.

And it seems as though you were 13 pounds overweight.

You know, they keep those records.

-Yes, I know, I charged it on my credit card.

-Well, when you came back-- now I know it's a stupid point doc,

and it doesn't mean anything, but you

were only four pounds overweight.

And I was wondering what happened

to the other nine pounds.

-I don't see what that has to do with my wife's death.

-Oh, it's all part of the job, just

trying to tie the loose ends together.

-You went to a lot of trouble, didn't you,

going all the way out to the airport?

-45 minutes.

Boy that's quite a place, that airport.

You know, I get lost just walking around.

-Lieutenant, about those nine pounds.

I took along a stack of trade journals and medical magazines.

It seems I never have a chance to go

through them at the office.

-Oh, catching up on your reading, eh?

-You might say that.

-And you didn't bring them back, then?

-There'd be no reason to, it'd be mostly advertising stuff.

-And do you figure they weighed as much as nine pounds?

-Well they'd have to, why else the weight discrepancy?

-Well I guess that clears that up then.

OK doc, thank you very much, and I'm sorry I bothered you.

-No bother at all.

Oh listen, there's one more thing.

You don't remember what your wife was wearing that night,

do you?

-Well, Carol had so many dresses.

Is it important?

-Well yes, in a way it is.

-Well let's see now.

Oh yes, she was wearing a blue wool dress with brass buttons,

if I'm not mistaken.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah, that's what the stewardess said.

She's back in town, by the way, and I spoke to her

and she told me your wife was wearing

a blue wool dress with blue kid gloves.

-Well then that's probably it.

-That's funny, though.

If she came home from the airport,

what did she do with the dress and gloves?

When we went over your apartment last week,

we couldn't find them.

-Well, they may have been stolen.

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Did you put those on the list of stolen items?

-Really, lieutenant, how could you

expect me to notice they were missing?

-Still it's puzzling when you think about it.

I mean, why would a guy steal a dress and a pair of gloves.

What are they worth?

-People don't always do the rational thing.

-Oh, they sure don't.

You learn a lot about that in my line.

Well I guess you do in yours, too.

[INTERCOM BUZZ]

-Oh, excuse me.

Yeah?

-Miss Hudson is here, doctor.

I'll be through in a moment.

I have a patient coming in now, lieutenant.

-Oh, yeah.

Hey, two o'clock.

Oh, oh that was the one that called you at your apartment.

-Oh, and you say you have a bad memory.

-Well, listen, it comes and it goes, you know.

-I'm sorry, I couldn't have been of any help you

with the dress and the gloves.

Well, maybe you just missed them in your search.

-Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably right, doc.

Oh, listen.

Would you mind if I came over this afternoon

and took another look?

What time do you think you're going to be home?

-Not before 5:00.

-Well suppose I meet you there at 5:30.

-If you think it's necessary.

-Well, it's just another loose end, you understand.

-You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

-Thank you.

-Oh, miss.

Excuse me, what was your name again?

-Joan Hudson, why?

-Sorry to trouble you, ma'am.

-Who is that man out there?

-Lieutenant Columbo, he's a police officer, why?

-He wanted to know my name.

-Did you tell him?

-What else could I do?

-Ray, is something wrong?

When he was with me when you called,

I told you not to try to get in touch with me.

-I had to.

When I read that Carol was still alive I wanted to warn you.

-Well, don't worry about it.

As far as he knows, you're just another patient on my list.

Now, now, I am going to call the cleaners.

You did as I told you, didn't you?

You left Carol's dress and gloves

with the rest of the laundry?

-Gloves?

-Yes, dress and gloves.

Well, you know, Joan, I told you.

[TELEPHONE DIALING]

-What is it?

When I changed in restroom at the airport,

I put her things in my bag.

Then I went back to your apartment

and left the dress with the other laundry.

-Go on.

Well, I, I forgot about the gloves.

I didn't even think of them until you mentioned them.

-But we went over it.

How many times did I tell you?

-I'm sorry.

I-- What difference does it make?

Is it that important?

-Is it that important?

-Where are the gloves now?

They're in my other bag at home.

I haven't used it since that night.

-Let me think.

We're safe as far as the dress is concerned.

It's at the cleaners.

Now the gloves-- they're small, they can be easily overlooked.

They could be almost anywhere.

Listen, Columbus is coming back to my apartment.

He wants to make another search.

Now, you go back home, get the gloves,

and come back to my place.

I'll see you there in an hour.

-Why cant I just throw them away?

-Because I want him to find them.

He can only be satisfied if all his loose ends are in place.

-But, Ray--

-Now, you just do as I say, darling.

Hurry.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

-There you are.

Did you bring them?

Good.

Put them on the table.

I'll hide them in her bureau.

Columbo's going to find them this time.

Would you like a drink?

-Please.

Are you angry with me?

-Not at all.

-I would have to do something foolish.

I, I kept going over everything in my mind.

But those stupid gloves.

-Don't you worry about it.

We've protected ourselves.

-I missed you.

I'm lucky I was working.

It helped me get through the week.

-It's behind us, now.

-What about than man, that, that Colombo?

-You'll never see him again.

But why does he keep bothering you?

-Because Carol's death has been almost too perfect.

That's what irritates him.

It's like a speck in his eye.

Why, he's even look for flaws in the Old Testament.

-You don't seem to be very upset about it.

-Why should I be?

Whatever he turns up, I've got an answer for him.

Eventually he'll lose interest and start

hounding someone else.

-Wish I could feel that sure.

The past two weeks I've been trying

to find an excuse for what we've done.

I haven't been very successful.

-Joan, there was no other option.

-Does that justify?

-Yes.

-We're in love.

We want a future together.

That's all the justification we need.

Look, this isn't something you just forget.

Don't let it interfere with what we have.

-I won't.

-All we have to do is wait.

I promise I'll make it up to you.

[KEYS IN DOORKNOB JINGLE]

-What are you doing here?

-After I, uh, I just, kind of, thought

that I'd save you some time, and look for the stuff myself.

Uh, I mean, I just didn't want to inconvenience

you more than I have to.

-Don't you people usually require a search warrant?

-I just didn't think it was necessary, doctor.

I mean, you gave me permission, didn't you?

Say, uh, what are you doing here now?

-It bothered me, too.

I wanted to save some time for both of us.

There are the gloves, lieutenant.

I found them in one of Carol's bureau drawers.

-What do you know about that?

We covered every inch of that bureau.

Well, we must have missed these.

You didn't find a dress by any chance, did you?

-No, I turned the place upside down.

It's not here.

-Gee, I wonder what she did with it.

-I'm afraid I have no idea.

-Well, why don't we both take another look?

-Lieutenant It's not the apartment.

I went through every one of the closets.

-Well, there's, there's a laundry hamper in the bathroom,

isn't there?

-But I just told you, it--

-Well, there's no harm in checking, is there?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

-Lieutenant, would you mind getting that?

I don't feel like talking to anyone.

DELIVERY BOY: Rodeo Cleaners.

-Uh, doctor?

-How much do I owe you?

-$4.50.

-Keep the change.

-Thank you.

-Say, isn't that your wife's dress?

-Well, of course.

Well, she must have put it outside for the cleaners

when she got back from the airport.

-Yes, that, that makes sense.

It certainly matches the description.

Uh, may I take a look?

-Take a good look at it, lieutenant.

Well I've got to get back to my office.

I guess we both wasted a lot of time.

-Well, listen, I'm sorry about all this, doctor.

I, I seem to be making a pest of myself.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Yes?

Oh, lieutenant?

It's for you.

-Yeah, thanks.

Uh, Columbo.

Yeah.

Oh.

Are you sure?

Yeah, what do you know about that?

Mm.

Yeah.

All right.

Yes, I'll be right down, yeah.

That does it, doc.

-Does what?

-We just got a confession.

A fella just admitted killing your wife.

Listen, I got to go.

Uh, if I get any more information I'll call you.

Isn't that funny the way those things happen?

-How'd you break the window, Tommy?

-I had this flashlight, and I knocked it to the glass.

-What happened next?

-I told you.

She came out.

I didn't think she's be home.

-You mean, Mrs. Flemming?

-Yeah.

She was wearing this, this nightgown.

-Yeah, go on.

-Well, the second she saw me, she

started to yell her head off.

So I ran over to keep her quiet.

I put my hand over her mouth.

And then I uh-- I just strangled her.

COLUMBO: Mm-hmm.

And then what happened?

-Like I said, I begin taking things-- silverware, a couple

of candle holders, a couple of lighters, and the jewelry.

-Did you take any money, Tommy?

-Yeah, she had about $30 in her purse.

-What'd you do with the stuff that you stole?

-I fenced it.

-Where?

-Why should I get him in trouble?

-What did he give you for it?

-Look, lieutenant, how many times

do we have to go over this?

I told you I killed her.

That ought to be enough!

-Tommy, why that particular apartment?

-I saw them leaving with their luggage.

The initials on his bag said RF.

So I looked at the mailboxes and I

saw Doctor Ray Flemming, penthouse.

The only name that fit the initials.

-And that was pretty shrewd of you.

How many jobs have you had in the past few months?

-One or two.

If I was working steady would I be breaking into apartments?

-No, I guess you wouldn't.

All right, that's all.

You can take him now.

-Well, that was quick.

-Well, you been very cooperative, Tommy.

-What do you think, doc?

-I don't believe a word he says.

-Really?

Why?

He knew exactly what was stolen.

He knew how the thief got into the apartment.

He knew what your wife was wearing.

-And so does everyone who reads the papers.

-Yes, uh, that's true, that's true.

-The boy's obviously neurotic.

Some people have an urge to confess after every murder.

I've even treated a few of them.

They have a compulsion to purge themselves.

Maybe they just want to get their names in the papers,

but the boy's story does not hold up.

-You know, you might be right.

You know, come to think of it, didn't he say that your wife

was screaming, and he put his hand over her mouth.

And then he said he lowered his hands, and he strangled her.

-I don't know what you're getting at.

-Well, your wife was strangled from behind.

There were thumb indentation marks on the back of her neck,

not on the front.

Oh, and I checked one more thing, doc.

Tommy was discharged from the Army under Section 8.

He's mentally unstable.

-If you knew that, why'd you ask what I thought?

-Oh, well, I uh, I just wanted to get

another professional opinion, doc.

I mean, no offense.

-I don't have to be a psychiatrist

to know that the boy is lying.

-Why not?

-For one thing, I have no initials on my luggage.

-Oh, yeah.

I was going to check that out if you told me

that you believed Tommy's story.

-I thought you might.

And it also occurred to me that you

may have planted this whole Tommy episode.

-Now, why on earth would I do a thing like that?

Oh, that reminds me, did you do any fishing

while you were in Acapulco?

-A little.

Why?

-Well, it's nothing important.

It's just that, uh, I'm a terrific bug on fishing.

You know, my wife and I were looking for a place

to take a vacation this summer.

You see the, uh, trouble with places around here

is that uh, well, people keep dumping all kinds of things

off the boat.

You know, bottles, cans.

Oh, it's a terrible shame-- criminal.

And, uh, well, I suppose you don't notice that in the ocean,

do you.

I mean, uh, it's so big it'll just swallow everything up.

Uh, tell me, uh, those trade journals and the medical books,

uh, did you take them with you when you went fishing?

-Lieutenant, for the past week you've

been asking me some rather pointless questions,

and I am getting very tired of them.

-Oh, oh, I'm sorry, doc.

I just thought that, uh, well, a boat's

a good place to get some reading done.

-What do my reading habits have to do with this?

You've been concentrating on everything

but the man who broke into my apartment.

Or is this some new type of police procedure?

-I'm only, uh--

-I want the man who murdered my wife.

Everything else is irrelevant.

-Well, I'm only trying to--

-I know.

You're only trying to tie up loose ends.

Well, if you spent a little less time on loose ends

maybe you'd come up with something important.

You know, sometimes I get the impression

you think I killed my wife.

-You?

Oh, no, doc.

How could you?

You were out of town.

-I'm glad you remembered that.

Unless you think I hired someone to kill her.

The boy who confessed, maybe I paid him to do it.

-No, doc, you didn't do that.

-How do you know?

-I already asked him.

-Are you serious?

-I am.

He's making an absolute pest of himself.

Telephone calls, question and answer session-- and he's

even bothering me at the office.

Is getting ridiculous.

-Oh, he's probably trying too hard.

I'll have a word with him.

-We'll a word won't do it.

Burt, you won't believe this, but somewhere in the back

of his mind he thinks I'm involved with Carol's murder.

-You?

You've got to be kidding.

-I'm not.

Neither is Columbo.

Look, isn't there some way you can get him off my back?

-Well, if he's pushing that hard--

-He is.

-I guess I can pull a few strings.

All right, consider it done.

-Well, that was painless.

Looks like I owe you a favor.

-Forget it.

What are friends for?

COLUMBO: Evening, doctor.

I just stopped by with some news.

I thought you might be interested.

I got taken off the case today.

Uh, I'm no longer working on it.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

And it happened all of a sudden, too.

Uh, you know, I was sitting on my desk,

and a call came down from upstairs,

and they told me that they wanted

me to work on something else.

It was real strange.

Then they told me to turn my files over

to Lieutenant Silva, who's a very nice guy.

But he's young and not experienced

in this kind of thing.

That's funny.

Here I thought I was doing a good job.

-How unfortunate for you.

But I suppose they know what they're doing.

Well, you'll have to excuse me, I've got a dinner engagement.

-Where, at the gardens?

-Now, why do you say that?

-Well, you're a good friend of Mr. Gordon, aren't you?

I mean, uh, last week at the hospital he invited you over.

You remember that.

-No, it isn't the gardens.

-No?

A lady friend, maybe?

-I don't think it's any of you business.

-No, I guess not.

I was wondering, doctor, would you take me on as a patient?

-Take you on as a what?

-No, I mean it.

Maybe you can help me.

I don't know.

The-- there must be something wrong with me.

I, I seem to bother people.

I seem to make them nervous, and maybe you could tell me why.

-Are you serious?

-I'm very, very serious.

I've never been more serious in my life.

My wife says I ought to have it looked in to, so I, uh,

told her I know this psychiatrist.

And, uh, I figured if I came here like once a week,

uh, maybe we could get it ironed out.

You know what I think the problem is?

Uh, I think I'm too suspicious.

I don't trust.

People that's my trouble.

For instance, when I get taken off a case,

right away I figure somebody put the pressure on.

Right away I ask myself, why?

What do you think, doc?

-I think you'd better get out here.

-Beg your pardon?

-Colombo, you're a public servant.

You say been taken off the case.

Fine.

Bother me again, and I shall have to talk to your superiors.

-You've been talking to a lot of people these days, doctor.

-Columbo, you are magnificent.

You really are.

-W-- what makes you say that, doc?

-You're the most persistent creature I've ever met.

But likable.

The astonishing thing is, you're likable.

Has anyone ever old you you're droll.

-Who, me?

-Yes, you.

-Oh, come on, doc.

Come, come on.

-Oh, but you are.

You're a sly, little elf, and you should be sitting

under your own private little toadstool.

You say you've been thrown off the case,

and yet you have the flagrant audacity

to come back here and bother me again.

I respect that.

It irritates me, but I respect it.

How about a drink?

-Well, all right.

Hey.

Now that's pretty clever.

You can always have a snort between patients, huh?

-I haven't given you a Rorschach test yet,

but I've a hunch you're a bourbon man.

-Thank you, very much, doctor.

-What'll we drink to?

-Oh, I don't know.

Uh, how about you and me?

-Fine.

-You like to read, huh, doctor?

-Yes, I do.

-You read murder mysteries?

-Not very often.

-Oh, me, I love them.

I find them nice and relaxing.

You know, the only trouble is that uh, they

got nothing to do with real life.

I mean, they guy who did it, they catch him every time.

And you and I know that, uh, it doesn't

always work out their way.

-You never stop, do you?

-What?

-The insinuation, the change of pace.

You're a bag of tricks, Columbo.

Right down the props the guy use.

-Oh, come on, doc.

-I'm going to tell you something about yourself.

You say you need a psychiatrist?

Maybe you do, maybe you don't, but you

are the textbook example of compensation.

-Of what, doc?

-Compensation.

Adaptability.

You're an intelligent man, Colombo, but you hide it.

You pretend you're something you're not.

Why?

Because of your appearance.

You think you cannot get by on looks or polish.

So you turn a defect into a virtue.

you take people by surprise.

They underestimate you, and that's where you trip them up.

Like coming here tonight.

-Boy, you've got me pegged pretty good, doctor.

I'm going to have to watch myself with you, because, uh,

well, you figure out people pretty good.

-Now you're trying flattery.

-No, really, I'm serious, doctor.

You've got a gift there.

Oh, I, I know it's you job.

And I know you studied for years,

but still it's, well, it's amazing a person can

come in here and sit down, and in a couple of hours

you know all about them.

-On that client, psychiatry isn't a parlor trick.

-Well, I didn't mean that.

No, I was, uh, I was just wondering,

that, uh, well, no, I, I guess that isn't possible.

-What isn't?

-Well, I, I know it's easy enough

to figure out about a patient, or a guy like me

that's always hanging around all the time,

but what about a stranger?

What about a, uh, a fellow that you never met before?

Uh, can you tell what makes him tick?

-Any particular one in mind?

-No, nobody special.

Just, just a type.

-Like a, a murderer, for instance?

-Well, yeah, now that you mention it.

Uh, I guess we're on the same wave length.

-Yes, I guess we are.

Uh, what about this hypothetical murderer?

-Well, I'm not talking about your average hot head.

you know, the guy who pops somebody

over the noggin with a bottle.

What I mean is a, uh, kind of man

that uh, figures everything out in advance.

Who takes everything step-by-step.

Um, what do you know about that kind of man, doctor?

-I should charge you for this, but since it's

on a theoretical basis, let's just call it a, uh,

free consultation.

-All right.

-All right.

we are talking about a man who commits a crime.

Not the garden variety of bar room brawl,

but an elaborate, intellectual project.

What do we know about this man?

Obviously, he's not compulsion.

He plans.

He calculates.

He minimizes risk.

He's oriented by his mind, not by his emotions.

And he's probably well-educated, too.

-Like, maybe a professional man.

-Like, maybe.

At any rate, an orderly man, with an eye

for detail and courage.

-Courage?

-Well, certainly.

To go through a thing like this, whatever it may be,

it takes a strong nervous system.

-Well, you could be right.

But one thing bothers me, doctor.

This man that we're talking about is taking a human life.

Now, wouldn't you say that he was insane?

-Why?

Because he committed an immoral act?

Moral is a condition, lieutenant.

They're relative, like everything else is today.

Our murderer may be as sane as you and me.

Killing maybe repugnant to him, but if it's his only solution

he uses it.

That's pragmatism my friend, not insanity.

-Tell me, doctor, how do you catch a man like that?

-You don't.

-You're probably right.

He sounds just too clever for us.

What I mean is, you know, cops-- we're not

the brightest guys in the world.

And, uh, of course we got one thing going for us.

We're professionals.

I mean, you take our friend here, the murderer.

He's-- he's very smart.

But he's an amateur.

I mean he's got just one time learn, just one.

And with us, well, with us it's-- it's a business.

You see, we do this a hundred times a year,

and I'll tell you, Doc, that's a lot of practice.

-It didn't help you very much, did it?

I mean with all that experience you

jumped to the wrong conclusion.

-What do you mean?

-I didn't kill my wife.

-I never said you did.

-Oh, that's true.

Imply.

Imply is more the word.

But if I killed my wife, and I did

say if, you're never going to be able to prove it.

So why don't we just part as friends?

You go on to something new, and I'll

forget this whole thing ever happened.

As a matter of fact, there's no reason

for us to see each other again.

Well, I have to be going now.

-Well, I'll go out with you.

-Oh, no, no, no.

You just stay here.

Relax, search the office.

Oh.

And if you want another drink, help yourself.

Good night.

Oh, by the way, when you leave, turn out the light.

COLUMBO: Uh, Miss Hudson?

-Who are you?

-Um, Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am.

Uh, police.

Um, we met the other day.

Remember?

-And what's this all about?

-Is there some place where we could go, where we could talk?

-Why?

-Oh, just a few routine questions.

That's all.

Would you like some ice cream?

-No thanks.

Questions about what?

-Um, well, could we go in there?

This is a quiet place.

-Lieutenant, would you mind telling me why you're here?

-Yes, of course.

I was hoping you might help us with a case

that we're working on.

-What case this is that?

Lieutenant?

-The, uh, Flemming case.

-Oh, you mean Dr. Flemming, my psychiatrist?

-Uh-huh.

-Is he in some kind of trouble?

-What was that?

-I said, is he in some kind of trouble?

-Well, you might say he is.

Uh, sit down, Ms. Hudson.

There's no rule about smoking here, is there?

-No.

-Well, then, if you don't mind I'll light up.

See, a lot of women they don't like cigars.

Now my wife, she-- she prefers a pipe.

I could never get used to those things.

There's just too much to carry around with you.

Um, how long have you known, uh, Dr. Flemming?

-You mean how long has he been treating me?

-Well, that's the same thing, isn't it?

-I've been seeing him for about a year.

-Uh-huh.

Mm-hm.

That checks out.

Oh, by the way, when was the last time

that you spoke to Dr. Flemming?

-Last week when I met you.

-Oh, that's right.

Yes.

-Lieutenant, would you mind explaining?

-Are you working here in a movie now?

-That's right.

-Well, I'm going to have to see it when it comes out.

What are you?

Are you, uh, are you playing a Roman girl or a Greek girl?

Uh, do you do your own makeup?

-What has this got to do with Dr. Flemming?

-Pardon me.

-Lieutenant, you're not being very clear.

You came here to ask me about a man I hardly know.

You said he was in trouble.

Now before we go on, suppose you tell me what kind of trouble.

-Well, I know that this is going to come as a shock to you,

but we think that he killed his wife.

You seem stunned.

-Well, of course I'm stunned.

I don't believe it.

-No?

Hey, I wonder who these belong to.

Well, maybe somebody left them by mistake.

Miss Hudson, uh, well, you seem nervous.

Haven't you seen a pair of sunglasses before?

Would you like to try them on?

-Why should I?

-No reason.

But there's no reason why you shouldn't either.

Is there?

-I think I'd better go.

-Sit down, Miss Hudson.

-If you insist on questioning me,

I'm going to have to call my lawyer.

-Sit down.

-You can't stop me from calling my lawyer.

You have no right to order me around.

You're not even on this case anymore.

-Well, now how did you know that?

-Dr. Flemming told me.

-Oh, but you said that you hadn't

seen Dr. Flemming since last week.

-He called me.

-Oh, is the doctor in the habit of doing that?

-I'm not going to answer anymore of your questions.

-Uh, just one more point, Miss Hudson,

that I'd like to clear up.

I am on the case.

It's true somebody tried to pull a few strings, but my superior,

he doesn't like that.

He gets thinking.

So he said to me, he said, "Lieutenant Columbo,

you must be touching a sore spot,

so you just keep right on trying."

He's very intelligent, my superior.

-I want to call my lawyer.

-I don't understand that.

Now Dr. Flemming killed his wife,

and you want to call your own lawyer.

Would you explain that to me, Miss Hudson?

-I want to call my lawyer.

-All right.

Go ahead.

If he wants to know what the charge is,

it's accessory to murder.

Now go ahead and make your call, Miss Hudson.

When you get done, we'll take a drive.

-A drive?

-Yes.

We're going to go see the stewardess.

I don't have the blue dress, and I don't have the gloves,

and I don't think you're going to try on these sunglasses,

but maybe she'll remember you anyhow.

Wig or no wig.

-I don't know what you're talking about.

You're trying to confuse me.

I have nothing to do with this.

-With what?

-With this, well, with the thing that you said about Ray.

-Ray?

-Dr. Flemming.

-But you just called him Ray.

-What difference does that make?

I know him.

He's my doctor.

-Your lover?

-My doctor.

-And you said you never met his wife.

-No, I never met his wife.

-Would you like to see some pictures of her?

I had them taken at the mall.

They're in my briefcase.

-No.

-Why should you?

After all, you saw the real thing.

That must've been quite a shock.

-Why don't you leave me alone?

I didn't do anything.

-No?

What about these?

What about the sunglasses?

Hm?

What about the overweight luggage?

What about the argument on the plane?

-I don't want to listen to any of this.

-Now you were there when he strangled her, weren't you?

-No.

-Well, does that mean that you came later?

-I was never there at all.

-I think you were.

I think you probably changed into a dress

while she was lying there, and then you and the doctor

went to the airport and had that fake argument on the plane.

Now didn't you?

-No.

-Didn't you?

Didn't you help plan it with him?

Didn't you help carry it out with him?

Now didn't you?

-Stop it!

-Without you that woman would be alive.

Without you-- -Stop!

---she wouldn't be lying in a morgue.

-Stop it!

-That couldn't have happened without you.

-Stop it!

-Why don't we go downtown, and you can make a statement?

-No.

You have no right.

I have nothing to do with this.

Do you understand?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

If you want to take me to the stewardess, then take me.

If you want to arrest me, go ahead.

But you can't prove anything.

Now either charge me, or let me leave.

I don't care what you do.

-You can go.

Miss Hudson?

I hope you understand that this is only the beginning.

In a way I feel sorry for you, because from now on,

I'm going to do everything I can to break you down.

Do you understand?

Dr. Flemming made one mistake, and you're it.

You're the weak link, Miss Hudson.

Now you surprised me today, because you were strong,

but there's always tomorrow, and the day after that,

and the day after that, and sooner or later

you're going to talk to me.

Until you do, you're going to be questioned.

You're going to be followed, and you're going to be hounded.

And Dr. Flemming can't do anything about it.

You're on your own, Miss Hudson.

And I'm going to get to him through you.

That's a promise.

[PHONE RINGS]

-Hello?

-Ray.

Oh, thank heavens.

I've been calling for hours.

-What's wrong?

You sound upset.

-Columbo came to see me at the studio today.

-Columbo?

-He tried to break me down.

-Did you tell him anything?

-No, of course not.

But he knows.

Every detail, even the alibi on the plane.

-Oh, he's only guessing.

Guesses are no proof.

But why should he be questioning you?

He's off the case.

-No he's not.

He's right in the middle of it.

Two of his men are parked outside right now.

-Well, I think we'd better have a talk.

Come in tomorrow for your appointment.

We'll figure something out.

-But can't you come over here now?

-When there's men watching your house?

Joan, use your head.

-But you're my doctor.

I mean there's nothing wrong in visiting your patient.

-He obviously expects us to get together tonight.

Let's not be predictable.

-What are we going to do?

-Just ride it out.

-You're his last resort.

If you don't panic, we're home free.

-Ray, I have to see you.

-You will in the morning.

Now put on some music, have yourself a drink,

and stop worrying.

-Ray!

RAY (ON PHONE): Yes?

-All right.

I'll try.

-Miss Petrie?

-Yes, Doctor.

-Doesn't Miss Hudson have a 10 o'clock appointment?

-Yes, she does.

-It's 10:30.

Why don't you give her a call?

-Uh, hello.

Is Miss Hudson-- well, no, I-- this

is the receptionist from Dr. Flemming's office.

Well, she had an appointment here this morning.

I see.

I just called Miss Hudson, and a man answered.

He said he was from the coroner's office.

-Try it again.

Maybe you got the wrong number.

-This is Dr. Flemming's office again.

Is Miss Hudson there?

Well, you don't understand.

Dr. Flemming is her psychiatrist.

Well, I'm only trying to get some information.

-Let me have that.

Hello?

This is Dr. Flemming.

Who are you?

Miss Hudson is under my care.

I want to know what happened.

Look, I am her psychiatrist.

What kind of accident?

Well, then who do I call to find out?

Look, can't you get it through your head that-- never mind.

Miss Petrie, I'm going out for awhile.

Tell my next patient that I'll be late.

Where is she?

I said, where is she?

-She stuffed herself with barbiturates.

I didn't think--

-What didn't you think?

You didn't think what?

-Well, I questioned her yesterday.

I, uh, I guess I pushed her too far.

I told her that I'd-- I was going

to get to you through her.

-You had to bring her into this, didn't you?

Didn't you know what she'd do?

Or didn't you care?

-Don't lecture me, Doctor.

I'm responsible, and I'm going to have to live with it,

but you're leaving somebody out.

We both killed that girl, the two of us together.

She committed suicide for one reason-- to protect you.

You see, it was all for you.

For you, Doc.

By the way, congratulations.

I mean, you're home free now, aren't you?

Boy, it couldn't have worked out better.

She was the only one who could've given you away.

Can't touch you anymore, Doc.

Nobody can.

You're free and clear.

You won, Doc.

The only trouble is you didn't get what you were going after.

-What is that supposed to mean?

-Why, the girl.

You loved her, and you wanted her,

and you were willing to murder for her, and now she's gone,

and all that planning, all that sweat.

And you wind up with nothing.

-What are you trying to tell me?

-I'm not trying to tell you anything, Doctor.

I was just thinking that, um, you're

going to be a terribly lonely man from here on in.

And maybe you'd feel better if you

got a few things off your chest.

-Like what?

-Like the truth.

-Are you asking me to confess?

-Well, is that so strange?

After all, what do you have to look forward to?

Think about that, Doc.

The girl isn't around anymore, and who knows?

Maybe you owe her something.

What do you say, Doc?

-[LAUGHS]

You're a very funny man.

-I wasn't trying to be funny.

-But you are.

More than you know.

So you want me to purge myself?

My one and only love is dead, and I

have nothing more to live for.

Is that it?

-All I'm saying, Doctor, is that if you love that girl--

-Love that girl?

Look, Columbo, I overestimated you.

I thought you understood about human nature.

I never loved that girl.

-Come on, Doc.

-No, really.

Remember that hypothetical murder we were talking about?

He needed an alibi.

The girl was available, so he used her.

It was as simple as that.

-No.

You killed your wife, because you were in love with the girl.

-Well, if I killed Carolyn, there's no proof that I did.

I did it for myself, not for some dime a dozen

little actress.

-She helped you with the murder.

You'd have had to marry her.

-Not really.

Something would have been arranged.

Like an accident, maybe.

JOAN: Always planning ahead, aren't you, Ray?

You had said there was something I should hear.

-Would you like to make a statement now?

Why don't we sit down?

We'll be more comfortable.