Original subtitles

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THEME MUSIC

(GRUNTS)

'I'm Stanley James McDermott.

A man you could set your clock by.'

RADIO ANNOUNCER: It's seven o'clock...

Getting a cold.

You're not.

(SIGHS)

'Married to Brenda, 46 years.'

(Make a proper pot.)

Make a proper pot!

(SIGHS)

'In 46 years, we've slept apart only once

and that was when she was in hospital giving birth to our Nicola.

Never strayed, me.

Never even fancied straying.'

RADIO STATIC AND CHATTER

DJ: ..they're not obliged to do at the moment, who'll pay for it?

RADIO GUEST: Well, first let me say this is the first ever government-

RADIO STATIC AND POP PLAYS

'And in those 46 years, she's had one mission in life.'

ON RADIO: Green, yellow...

'To drown out anything I'm remotely interested.'

ON RADIO: ..feeling like drunkenness...

'Especially the Today program.'

(BLOWS NOSE ANIMATEDLY) Please!

It's this cold I'm not getting.

'It all started the day Katie Quinn got run over.

TYRES SQUEAL

Get out of the car!

Get out of the car, you bastard! Get out of the car!

Is she OK?

It was like slow motion.

I had plenty of time to do something, shout something,

grab her... But I did nothing.

I froze. I just watched it.

Would you like a Garibaldi?

Uh, no thanks.

Not getting any younger.

Shall we take you to the hospital, get that bump looked at?

Can't, I'm late for work.

I'm never late.

All right, mate? I'm late.

ID please, Stan.

ID please, Stan. Stan!

Come on, Stan. You're late, lad!

That lot on the shelves, quick as you like.

I'm sorry. For Christ's sake, Stan.

Today of all days!

I saw an accident, I had to make a statement.

You come in two hours late!

I had to make a statement to the police! Couldn't you have phoned?

I haven't got a mobile!

You've not got a mobile?

It's the 21st Century, you f-king dinosaur!

I'm not a dinosaur!

If you call me a dinosaur again,

I'll clock you one, you arrogant git!

All right.

No problem.

What you looking at? There's vans need loading.

'Scuse me!

♪ Call me indispensable

♪ Call me irreplaceable. ♪

You all right, Stan? Lunch.

Easy, easy.

Hit him with it. I've taken loads.

You were in the lead.

Now! Look, I've taken loads.

Going for the lot. Give him the slot.

But can I win? No, so stop brown-nosing the foreman

and give him the bloody slot. You're in the lead!

Trying to play the game the way it should be.

How am I in the lead? Just count 'em up.

You can't go for the lot without declaring it first.

I'm going to play the game the way it should be played.

You've got to hit him with it. And you're the leader.

(GROANS) That's my boy!

I gave you every bloody lead you wanted.

What's the use in playing the game

if you're not going to play it properly?

If you're going to suck up to the foreman?

What's the use if you're going to do that?

Thanks, lads. (CHUCKLES)

Back to work, lads. Suck-hole.

Oh, yes, yes, he's fine now.

Why are you bothering her? Just a minute, Nic.

Because you collapsed! I fainted!

Said he was getting a cold this morning, you know what that means.

Like the athlete's foot he was supposed to have.

Were you worrying? Oh, you must be joking.

You'll have to speak up, love.

Your dad keeps highering the telly.

Oh, I don't know.

He says he wants to do it when he gets a bit of time.

Well, I wanted to get an electrician in

but you know what your dad's like, he'll want to do it himself.

Won't part with his farting strings.

What are you doing to me, Stan? What's up?

You told them I wasn't watching.

I'm sorry, Peter, you're a good man-

There was nothing I could do!

I'm not going to lie over something like this.

It was slow motion for me, Peter. She froze.

She didn't freeze. She just stepped into the path of the car!

I was looking! There's no way you were!

You had plenty of time to break.

I'm sorry, Peter. That's what I saw and that's what I'm saying.

DJ: It's seven o'clock on Radio 4. The headlines.

Further disturbances across France have grown into a small scale riot.

I've had a stroke.

You've been lying on your arm.

You try looking after a family with a child in hospital.

See if you can find time for buses. How is she?

Steve wants to see you, Stan.

Now?

All right, Barbara? You're looking nice today.

Thank you, Colin. Is that an all-over tan?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

Looks all over from here.

Come on, then.

Stan!

Mother of all cock-ups here, mate.

You're 65 soon. Yeah.

Yeah, and you've still got three weeks holiday entitlement.

I thought I'd just work it.

(CHUCKLES) Well, you can't. Can't afford it.

You'd best go now, mate.

Go?

Church Street! Oh, shit.

Oh, hiya, Burney. You said you'd keep me on.

Not fulltime, I know you can't do that with part-time.

Part-time means you don't lose me.

We've got to lose you, you're 65.

Look, if you take your holiday now, it'll give us time-

Burney, can you just give me a couple more seconds?

It'll give me some time to organise your leaving do.

I'm not going to let you go, not somebody like you,

not without a proper send-off!

I'm to go now?

(SIGHS) You're on your holidays, mate.

Now, Burney, what is it?

Is this cos of yesterday? Should've arrived by now.

Is this cos of yesterday? What?

Sorry, mate, you're just going to have to give me a minute. What?

Is this cos I kicked off on you yesterday?

No, it's cos you're 65.

Were you out with your boyfriend last night?

Yeah. Where?

Pub. Did you...go back for coffee?

Yeah.

Any good, was it?

Ish. Don't even think about it, Colin.

On no account look for a bit of love in your life

cos time flies and you're 65 before you know it.

On no account find a job you love.

On no account look for a bit of excitement.

Just lock yourself in a room.

No stimulation whatsoever.

Make every second seem like an hour.

That's my advice, son.

RELAXING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS

You OK?

Yeah.

Work OK?

Yeah.

(SIGHS)

Not that one.

What's all this, Stan?

I'm coming on for a while, part-time.

Pass on everything I know to the young callin' here.

You can't lose a man of my experience.

You're retired, mate! I'm just thinking of the company.

You can't, you're not insured.

I'll sign a waiver. If I have an accident, there's no comeback.

Yeah, but it wouldn't be legal. Anyway, we can't afford you.

I'll work for nothing.

Please.

Give us a minute, Ma'am.

I've worked here 40-odd years, Steve.

Just a year or so, part-time, so's I got a job.

I loved it here.

Other fellas hate their jobs, can't wait for retirement.

I've loved every minute of it.

That's what makes it so hard for me Steve. It's so hard.

Oh, Stan... don't make me call security.

We'll give you a great send-off, mate!

Oh.

Would you like a cup of tea?

'Sixty bloody five.'

WOMAN'S VOICE ON TV: '..with the changing moon.

In today's edition of Woman's Hour we discuss...'

'Sean waiting for his kids to grow up so he can have a bit of freedom...

..it'll come too soon, Sean.

Brian trying to stave off middle age...

..and me, invisible.'

POKER MACHINE BEEPS

'And us old codgers - I never thought I'd hear myself say this -

but I wish I'd taken up golf. Cos without golf, what is there?

Only this - the waiting room...

..where we're all waiting to die.

When you're 20, a year is a twentieth of what you've already lived.

That's still a fair bit. But when you're 65,

a year's only a sixty-fifth of what you've lived,

and that's nothing.

It'll race by, - and the year after that,

and the year after that. Racing by.'

(COMMENTATOR SHOUTS) Go on, go on!

'..and it's Solarina in front of Archibald at the last.

Solarina, big jump- oh, she's down at the last!

And it's Archibald who wins...' Fuck!

You shouldn't be doing this, Stan.

Please stop, Stan. Please, stop, mate!

'Sixty bloody five.'

WOMAN ON TV: 'Exactly! It's our children and grandchildren

who are going to pay.' MAN: 'But that's always been the case.

The burden of the old is carried by the young.'

'..to help themselves, but they haven't!

You're talking about a generation who've got richer and richer

all their lives, and they've squandered it.

And as for you, Stanley James McDermott,

you've had it too soft, too long.

you, and all those baby boomers that came after you,

millions of you, you're too many, mate. Too sodding many.

So, you're gonna have to die.

Five or six million of you are gonna have to snuff it.

Hypothermia, malnourishment, something like that.

And when we've got you down to more manageable proportions,

then we might toss you the odd crust.'

GENTLE CLASSICAL FLUTE PIECE

MUSIC STOPS

Lost £12 today. Two on the fruit and cheese, ten on the horses.

It wasn't Saturday.

You've got to earn good money to afford not to work.

Ah, don't even think about it. Go on, hit him with it!

I've gotta get rid of it.

If I don't get rid of it, I'll take it me'self, so...

Oh, for Christ's sake!

I'm the bloody foreman now, so why don't you brown-nose me

like you brown-nosed that old twat, Stan?!

Why am I so different from that old git, eh?

(What?)

Oh, Stan.

Fancy a pint?

Got some whisky, if you're interested, Stan - half-price.

What, knock-off? Yeah.

Why now? What?

You never offered me stolen goods before. Why are you asking-

Shh! Have I got a stamp here?! "Pensioner, skint, desperate?"

Is that why you're asking?! Piss off.

'Insurance man. Posh car, sharp suit...

..both p aid for by mugs like me.'

Mr McDermott? Stan.

Bruce. Come on.

This is Brenda, my wife.

How do you do? Daughter, surely.

Oh! As if. Lovely place.

Thank you. Well, it's not much, but we do try.

Well, you've got it lovely. Thank you.

Who are these? Oh, that's our daughter and her husband,

and the three grandkids. Tremendous.

I can see Stan in your daughter... Oh.

..and, my God, that little one's the image of you.

Oh...little Emma. Gorgeous.

'Putty in his hands.'

Would you like a cup of tea?

The value of your pension fund is just on £36,000.

I'm going to talk about investing it, making it work for you.

But for now, you're entitled to a lump sum of £9,000,

and an annuity of 1,700.

A month? A year.

What?! 1,700 a year. About £34 a week.

£36,000 gets me £34 a week?!

I'll have it all back. You can't. It's against the law.

Well, so's robbery. Stan! What?!

The only way to get it all back is to die before your 65th birthday,

but that's a bit counter-productive.

We thought we'd be on easy street.

Do you smoke? Stopped a few years ago.

Were you a heavy smoker? Fairly, yeah.

Drink? Yeah.

If there's anything wrong with you -

if you might die early in retirement -

you could get a lot more than 34 a week.

And out...in... (BREATHES DEEPLY)

..out...and again...

..out...thanks.

Well, your blood pressure's normal, your heartbeat is perfect,

and your lung capacity is excellent. There's nothing wrong with you.

(Bullshit.) What?

I've got piles - I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a good shit.

I can't remember the last time I pissed without pain.

I remember exactly the last time I had an erection -

four years and forty-nine weeks ago.

My 60th birthday. The lads got me a strippergram.

I've got pain in my knees, pain in my back.

My ears are going, me eyes are going, everything's bloody going,

and you tell me there's nothing wrong with me!

It's just age, Stan. (GROANS)

Look - I'll give you some suppositories for the piles,

and, uh...anti-depressants.

You stick your anti-depressants up your arse.

And your suppositories.

I've worked it out. I've got to live to be 112 just to get the money back.

I did what they told me to do.

Save for me old age, invest it in my pension.

All the fellas were taking out big mortgages, buying big houses,

but we carried on living here, saving for our old age,

and look where it's got us - £34 a week. A pittance!

(SNIFFS) Onions.

I suppose this is my last confession, because I'm gonna top me'self.

Not that there's much to confess, really.

Four years and forty-nine weeks ago

I touched the arse of a dental hygienist

who was working part-time as a strippergram.

Apart from that...46 years of snapping at the wife.

Two snaps a day...60 a month, 720 a year.

What's that? 50 times 7... 35,000 snaps at the wife.

Not much else...insignificant.

I'm the kind of man that's easily ignored.

I said, I'm the kind of man that's easily ignored!

You're a priest, you're supposed to reassure me -

"No, you're not, you really matter," something like that.

Hello?

You're in the wrong box. I'm next door.

♪ Blue moon. ♪

CROWD HECKLES, CHEERS # You saw me standing alone

♪ Without a dream in my heart. ♪

SECTIONS OF CROWD SING ALONG # Without a love of my own

♪ Blue moon

♪ You knew just what I was there for. ♪

CHEERFUL CHATTER

♪ Someone I really could care for

♪ And then there suddenly appeared before me

♪ The only one my arms will ever hold

♪ I heard somebody whisper Please adore me

♪ And when I looked at her the moon had turned to gold

♪ Gold ♪ Blue moon

♪ (MUMBLES LYRICS)

♪ Without a care in my heart

♪ Without a love of my own. ♪

WARM ROUND OF APPLAUSE

ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug!

Dan!

Yeah?

Come on, son, it's your big moment.

Presentation, speech.

Right.

There you go, Stan.

The traditional clock and a bottle of cham...hey, steady...

..(LAUGHS) and a bottle of champagne.

There you go, son.

(APPLAUSE)

Fancy a coffee? Yeah.

You do know what coffee means, don't you?

I'm going to kill myself. (ROOM FALLS SILENT)

A SHAG!

(WHOOPS AND HOOTS)

I'm serious.

I'm going to kill myself, I'm only 65.

(LAUGHTER)

Just give them a moment.

That'll be five eighty, pal.

65 years I've lived here.

Seen 'em all come and go.

Blind John. Arthur and Angela.

Yeah, five eighty.

Ryan the teach.

Sean and Yvonne, Eddie... you know Eddie? The taxi drive?

No, don't know him, Pop.

I used to sit on that step with me dad.

Point out the Plough.

He'd say, "Wherever you are on this Earth, son,

the Plough points to the North Star."

How much was it?

Five eighty, Pop.

COINS CHATTER

Keep the change.

(GRUNTS)

Mind how you go.

What time is it?

Did you make a speech? Short one.

Oh well, that's nice...

Champagne as well.

Ooh! I left it behind.

Don't like the stuff.

You do. I don't.

You said that about beans.

That was 40 odd years ago,

when I said I didn't like beans I didn't like beans.

I got to like them over 40 years,

but when I said I didn't like them I didn't like them.

It's the same with champagne.

Right now, at this point,

in the history of our planet,

I do not like champagne. Right?

Had a few, have we?

Don't pee in the wardrobe again.

'I read up on suicide.

Became an expert.

Apparently, when men hang they can get an erection.

They can even ejaculate.

Pointless, of course.'

Who's going to bring it back?

'But so's life, and that's why hanging appeals to me.

In China, condemned men get drunk on whiskey."

All right, Sean?

"And then, blind drunk,

they're driven to the gallows in an open-topped car

singing all the way, the crowd applauding."

Police, please.

Can you come to 8 Bold Street?

Stanley James McDermott has killed himself.

Your name, sir?

My name is Stanley James McDermott.

Would you like to talk to someone?

No, I don't want to talk to anyone.

I just want to make sure you cut down my body before the wife gets back.

Are you mad?

Mad? Oh, I'm mad all right.

PHONE RECEIVER CLATTERS IN CRADLE

'My mother's favourite.

Edmund Hockridge.'

♪ Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes

♪ Love never made a fool of you

♪ You used to be too wise

♪ Hey there, you on that high-flying cloud

♪ Though she won't throw a crumb to you

♪ You think some day she'll come to you

♪ Better forget her

CRASH! (GASPS)

♪ Her with her nose in the air

♪ She has you dancin' on a string

♪ Break it and she won't care

WATER SLOSHES

♪ Will you take this advice

♪ I hand you like a brother

♪ Or are you not seein' things too clear

♪ Are you too much in love to hear... ♪

'Five minutes ago I was rockin' round the clock.

Little Richard, Buddy Holly, Elvis, Chubby Checker.

Drainpipe trousers, bootlace ties, winklepickers.

The men of '65 rolled.

They weren't like me.

They were old, they were ancient.

Not like me.'

(HYPERVENTILATES)

'They couldn't have been like me.'

SPARKING AND POPPING

(RECORD PLAYER DISTORTS AND STOPS)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

'When Dad spoke of the war

it was always the journey to Egypt on the Queen Mary

and playing cards and winning all night

and getting pissed and sleeping it off in the toilets.

No heroics from Dad.'

Stan?

Stan!

What are you doing here?

Oh, Stan.

What happened?

You're supposed to be at Nicola's. I left the presents behind.

What happened in the sitting room?

What?

The sitting room.

Chandelier fell. Fused everything.

Oh, dear Lord...

VACUUM HUMS, TV CHATTERS

Are you smoking again?

Yeah. High tar, the highest they had.

Why?

It's been five years. Why start again now?

I'm retired.

Do you want to kill yourself? Yep.

Well, do it the quick way,

because I'm not going to be nursing you, watching you dying in agony.

Right.

Look at me. Put the telly on.

Look at me.

How much are they?

Fiver a pack.

A fiver a day.

That's 35 pounds a week. That's your pension.

No, paper as well.

A packet of ciggies and a paper each day,

that's how much my pension's worth.

You are selfish, self-pitying and selfish!

Lord knows I'm not selfish.

DOORBELL RINGS

Stan... Yeah?

There's a policeman here to cut down a body.

Do you want a cup of tea?

GLASS CLINKS

What's in the boxes?

Whiskey.

Where'd you get it?

Um, offie.

Put it in there?

Yeah.

Need to open it, then.

Yeah.

Oh. Key is, um...

(LAUGHS)

Sale on, was there?

Take a few.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Oh!

All right, all right, all right. Ow! HANDCUFFS GRIND

What you doing here, anyway?

A fella tried to kill himself. Only tried?

Why did you do it?

Do you want this?

No.

Why?

I'll die soon anyway.

I'd sooner face death when I'm still strong.

I don't want it creeping upon me when I'm weak.

I don't believe you. It's the truth.

It's cos you've lost your job.

I'm not talking about it

cos you'll turn on the waterworks and expect to get your own way.

Well, not this time.

It's because you've lost your job. Do you want a coffee?

46 years married, a lovely daughter, three lovely grandkids

and it's nothing, is it, compared to that bloody job.

The thought of losing you hurts, Stan, but that hurts most of all.

That we mean nothing.

I knew you'd do this, I knew you'd twist everything.

You care more for that job than you do about me.

I don't. I'm taking sugar again now. Will you try it again?

Next time you go to the shops, get a bag.

Will you try it again?!

I'm going to rewire the house, I can't leave it in the state it is

and when I've done that, yes, I'm gonna kill myself.

You bastard! I'm doing it for you.

What?! I'm doing it for you.

If I live past 65, we struggle on in poverty.

If I die now, you get 36 grand.

Oh...

(SOBS)

What are you doing?

Why didn't you do it 10 years ago?

I was only 53 then.

Or better still 20 years ago, when I was only 43

and I could turn a few heads?

But no, I'm 63, Stan, and a widow of 63 doesn't get a man of your age.

She gets some old codger in his 70s.

Oh, it'll give me a few years, but then I'll have to bury him

and then go looking for another old codger.

Thanks.

That's how you're looking at it - profit and loss, mathematics.

So don't come the martyr when I do it to you, you selfish old bugger.

I'm not selfish.

How long have I got? Five years, ten at the most?

It'll fly by and you know it.

Let me go now and there's still money in it.

Do you think that I would touch that money?

I'd burn it first.

Well, just so long as they don't keep it.

So you're not doing it for me.

You're doing it to prove some stupid point, you...

Mad.

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

What do you think you're playing at?

£36,000?

If you were dying and £36,000 could pay for an operation somewhere

do you think we'd say no?

Of course we'll find the money and we'll find it now.

You can have the money.

We'll get a second mortgage or something.

Just don't kill yourself, you stupid git.

Don't swear. Don't swear?!

I'll swear all I fucking well like.

You're breaking my mother's heart.

Honestly, the state she's in.

And that's now before you've done it.

What's she gonna be like after you've done it?

Oh, you'll be all right, you selfish bastard, cos you'll be dead.

Oblivious, but she'll be heartbroken.

And it's suicide, you stupid git.

People will be pointing at her.

'If I'd succeeded first time, there wouldn't have been any of that.'

(CONTINUES BERATING)

'No explanations, no recriminations.'

Just the act itself.

And that's enough - no note required.

It's the note that's selfish.

The note is cruel.

Those who love you find their own explanation.

The one that most comforts them.

This might be selfish, I know.

'I didn't succeed first time.'

But...

I want my kids to remember their grandparents

the way that I remembered them.

Loving and funny.

Funny the way you bicker.

Funny the way you correct each other.

Funny... (SOBS)

Funny!

Fun.

I don't want you dead and her a broken woman.

I don't want them to see that.

I won't let them rob me.

It's only money.

It's much more than money.

'I remember my parents dying.

At the time I'd have done anything to keep them alive.

But now. Don't want them back now.

Would I want two more people to love and be responsible for?

No.

That's what parents are supposed to do - die.'

'But not yet, Dad.

Please. Not just yet.'

DOOR SHUTS

'My earliest memory.

Dad was coming home at six o'clock.

So...'

Moving the clock on doesn't move the time on, son.

'But it did move time on.

Cos Dad came.'

Dad's home. Don't be silly.

Hello, Stanley.

(SOBS)

'Don't send me out to play. Please don't send me out to play.'

Do you want a cup of tea?

I'll make a proper pot.

WATER RUNS

What's all this?

You're not well, Stan.

I'd like you to go to hospital.

I'm not going.

Brenda's signed a form, Stan.

Under the terms of Mental Health Act,

we're taking you to hospital for your own good.

I'm being sectioned?

Yes.

I...want you alive.

(PROTESTS)

'For our generation, the loony bin's the ultimate disgrace

and death's preferable to the loony bin.

But not for her. That's how much she loves me.

I wanted to get out of the car and say, "I know how much you love me."

So I was struggling. I couldn't get out.

All she saw was me struggling.

God knows what that did to her.'

That's how I ended up here.

What about you?

I'll send you a sign.

When you most need it, I'll send you a sign.

Why are you here?

They don't fucking believe me, do they?

Believe what? That I'm God.

Jesus Christ.

I miss him too.

♪ And the radio said, here's another shot dead

♪ And he died with a gun in his hand

♪ But they didn't why Billy Reid had to die

♪ He died to free Ireland

♪ He died to free Ireland. ♪

I was saying I shouldn't be here.

We're all saying, mate.

It pisses me off, it really does. Labelling someone insane.

That's my work they're knockin'.

I made us all.

You just made one living thing. Just one.

Dolly the fucking sheep, and she only lasted five minutes.

How dare they criticise my work.

Have you been in the sauna yet?

It was watching that twat Tony Blair,

smiling, lying through his bleeding teeth.

That's the first time I remember wanting to get cancer.

(MUMBLES)

I wanted to be sure - I self-harm.

..know that I wasn't throwing years away - Not suicide.

..to that lion's - Self-harm.

..stab him and stab him and stab him...

First time I tried it, I picked a railway line.

One of those new tilted intercities, 200 miles an hour.

We've all self-harmed.

We'll discover for sure.

No way, cos you describe this as a cry for help.

Squeezed a pimple.

..my resolve weakened. Turned my back...

You think you decide when you die?

You think suicide empowers you? That's a joke. Does it?

..don't drink. Train had passed me.

But you still choose me. I'm still in fucking charge.

Picked the wrong line. I just self-harm.

I wanted you to change your mind, send you a sign.

You're aged 65...

And it'll be so bleeding convincing you'd never go through with it.

That's a myth.

They get your pension if it comes to that.

They dole it out when they see fit and that is handing justice.

Bleeding loads. That's what I'm fighting.

I'm fighting injustice.

It had to be a suicide bomber.

If I had the courage, I'd walk up the steps of the insurance company

and set fire to myself, but I haven't.

I have to find another way and find it I will.

Bye-bye Blair.

Listen, none of this shite about suicide being a sin

and you can't get a Christian funeral

because you topped yourself.

It's hardly house. You hypocritical twat.

I love my suicides.

They practice what I preach,

that this life is fuck-all.

It's the next one that counts.

He was here during '72...

It does my head in the way people cling onto life.

..and my resolve weakened...

Fuckin' Americans most of all. Christian country, my arse.

Bye-bye David Blunt-head and your manky stock.

Having a smoke in a bleeding bar over there,

they swim, they jog, they do fucking yoga.

Over to intensive care...

They're terrified of dying.

A country that doles out death and bleeding destruction

all over the world,

and they're terrified of it themselves!

..tears through skulls like molten lead.

King Lear.

Is it wrong for a man of my age to fight injustice,

to feel passion for a cause?

Is that just for the young?

I am prepared to give my life for a cause,

and for that I am banged up here.

You say that to somebody younger,

Irish hunger strikers, young men with years ahead of them,

starved to death for a cause.

Would you have the arrogance to say to them that they were mad? No!

So, how dare you do it to me!

I have been cheated all my life

and I'm fighting back in the only way I can.

How is that insane?

It isn't.

♪ For I am not seeing things too clear

♪ Are you too much in love to heal?

♪ Is it all going in one ear and out the other? ♪

DOOR CLOSES

I want you to tell the truth in that courtroom, Stan.

I want that bastard to get what's coming to him.

♪ Yet I was once

♪ I hear you

♪ You are my high-flying cloud. ♪

DOOR OPENS

DOOR THUDS

(PUFFS) Have you been running?

(SIGHS)

Why?

(HUFFS) Why?!

They need me.

Little Katie and her mother.

We all need you.

♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

Ohhh! (CHUCKLES) Didn't do too bad today!

♪ ..birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday, dear Stan. ♪ Thank you. Thank you.

♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪

(ALL CLAP)

I don't know, I don't think I've got the puff.

Will you give us a hand, Gabby? Come on. One, two, three.

(ALL CHEER)

Dad? A bit more?

Cheers. Mum?

I'm getting to like this stuff.

Take it easy. Oh, cheers.

Beg your pardon. Mmm.

Told you you'd like it.

I do like it...now.

Stan?

Stan?!

Stan! Stan!

That's the wardrobe, you drunken old fool,

it's the wardrobe!

Oh... Come on.

(There you go.) Alright.

(You drunken old fool.)

(URINATES)

I'm absolutely certain of that, Your Honour.

No doubt whatsoever.

We're going to remand you on bail for sentencing at the crown court.

I warn you to expect a custodial sentence.

I've got to go to the crown.

Prick!

In your statement you say, "It all seemed to happen in slow motion."

Is that right? Yes.

Is 15-20 miles an hour slow motion?

You say the defendant wasn't looking where he was going.

He wasn't. He was looking away?

Yes.

At what?

I don't know.

Have you recently spent time in a mental hospital, Mr McDermott?

Have you?

Yes, I have.

No further questions.

We are satisfied that this was an accident.

The accused obviously feels great remorse.

But if it's any comfort to him,

it is our opinion that he is not to blame in any way whatsoever.

Court will rise.

Oi! Oi!

That copper nicked me.

The copper that came around to your house nicked me!

So next time you try and top yourself,

give us a shout and I'll give you a hand, alright?

You think you're hard? I'll make sure you succeed.

You think you're hard? Yeah, I know I'm hard!

So, come on then. Look at you.

Come on then! What you trying to do?

Do you think you're hard? Come on then.

You ought to act your age, mate. Alright?

SUPPORTERS CHATTER

I hate your team.

I was 19 when that plane crashed and the Busby babes dies.

And you know what? What?

It was the best thing that ever happened to Manchester United,

cos until then, no-one gave a damn about the club.

And everyone's so bloody ugly.

Ferguson with a face like a smacked arse.

Gary Neville the dead spit of Herman Munster.

Van Horseface Nistelrooy.

And that ugly fat money-grabbing bastard Rooney!

God how I hate your fucking team!

(SIGHS)

WATER TRICKLES

(SNIFFS)

Buy us a pint. Oh, go away!

Buy us a pint, you tightarse. Please go away.

A half. Go away!

No sign for you then.

God sent me a sign as a matter of fact.

Gave me a bit of a boost. God never sent you a sign.

Do you know what? He just snatched it away again.

I never sent any bleeding sign! You bloody weirdo.

You know what you can do with your sign?

You can stick it up your arse.

I never sent you a sign, right?

I never sent it.

DOOR SLAMS

CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC

(STRAINS)

(GROANS) WHEELCHAIR CLATTERS

Katie?

What's happened? Are you alright?

I did this for you.

Is that what you call me?

Mr Mack?

Mmm.

(SOBS)

SINGLE CRACK

(SIGHS)

What happened?

I fell.

Oh.

Katie Quinn.

Me.

To life.

Closed Captions by CSI